Bonus Episode: Merry Lesbian Christmas! Remember like two weeks ago, when this film promised that it was actually I was like “That’s it for season one! gay and that there would be kissing Thanks for listening!”? Turns out I cannot throughout. So, obviously I went and saw and will not shut up. A huge surprise, I it and obviously I have thoughts. know. Anyway, it’s the holiday season which means that its time for everything I’m Alex, this is Pop Culture Boner – the to be stuffed with tinsel and inescapable bonus edition – and today I’m thinking Christmas carols, and for everyone whose about lesbian Christmas movie, The personal background encompasses Happiest Season. something other than Christianity to smile politely at their one Christmas loving co- Ok, so structurally, this episode is going worker trying to put a Santa hat on them to be a little bit different. That’s because, (we all know the type) and repress the aside from the need to talk about lesbian urge to explain to said co-worker how they rom coms, Wes and I also have some ideas worked through their [insert significant for next year. Which means we have to religious holiday here] because ‘Happy test remote recording. We have to test it holidays’ doesn’t actually incorporate all early and in a low stakes environment religious holidays, only the ones that are because I am a techno-idiot and I will conveniently located near Christmas. absolutely break this at some point. So, this is a test run – I’m going to talk Anyway, in spite of that opening, this is for like 15 minutes about what I think, actually a Christmas episode, because and Wes will be listening and maybe this year Hollywood decided to give occasionally chiming in, and then at the us a lesbian Christmas movie, written end we’re going to have a bit of a chat. by queer icon Clea Duvall, and staring So… if this sounds different, you know other queer icon, Kristen Stewart. And why. And if we get to the end of this and even though Christmas movies are not you haven’t heard from Wes at all, you extremely my shit (they’re usually just can assume that I fully broke whatever rom coms with snow, let’s be honest with flimsy recording set up we have and that ourselves), I am a homosexual. When I have gone back to relegating Wes to you emerge from your cocoon as a fully their role as tech gremlin as punishment formed lesbian, a butch and a femme for their crimes (they are actually my appear on your shoulder and make you crimes… shhh). sign a little piece of paper that says that if two girls kiss in a movie, or even put That’s the admin out of the way – let’s their faces quite close together, then you get on with the show. When The Happiest have to watch the entire movie, even if Season was announced back in 2018 the kiss is bad and right at the end. But there was a bit of buzz – not necessarily mainstream buzz, but definitely gay buzz – although given that it is a Christmas – because not only was it a lesbian rom rom com, if I tell you the plot you can com, it was written by Clea Duvall. Those likely guess the ending. Essentially, of us who came of age in the 90s and Abby, played by Kirsten Stewart, hates 00s likely remember Clea Duvall from Christmas. Harper, played by Mackenzie films like But I’m a Cheerleader or Girl, Davis, loves Christmas. They’re the Interrupted. Aside from being in some original odd couple. Not really, but they iconic films featuring actual lesbians, are a couple. Anyway, Harper gets so Duvall also has what I will call a classic horny for Christmas that she invites Abby case of gay face – it’s hard to explain, to her family’s house for the holidays. but if you’ve ever wondered how lesbians Abby gets so horny being included that identify each other from a distance, it’s she decides to propose to Harper. Except because some people just have gay face. on the way to the family home, Harper I absolutely cannot elaborate any further. reveals that she’s been lying to Abby, If you know, you know. Anyway, point is she’s actually not out to her family and – lots of gays were very excited. And then also could Abby please pretend to be her that excitement reached fever pitch when room mate for the week? Abby agrees later that year Kristen Stewart – a rare because it’s rom com logic baby! But very combination of A-list actress and big ol’ quickly realises she’s bitten off more queer – was attached to the project. The than she can chew with Abby’s extremely addition of Kristen Stewart essentially intense and competitive family, and assured the film a level of mainstream having to pretend she’s not madly in love. cool that isn’t normally afforded to any Also, Aubrey Plaza is there as Harper’s queer cinema that isn’t also Oscar bait. ex, Riley, and Dan Levy is there as Perhaps, for once, we would get a silly Abby’s best friend, John. Hijinks ensue! little comedy about our silly little lives. Christmas also happens. Snow! Anyway, the movie came out and while If you’re queer, that plot description reviews were generally positive there maybe throws up a couple of red flags – was, as always, The Discourse. While the not only is Harper in the closet, she’s also discussion has actually managed to be forcing Abby back into the closet to for pretty nuanced (for once), takes ranged the sake of appearances. Now, a lot of from think pieces on the value of centring the aforementioned discourse around The queer coming out stories, to rants about Happiest Season really hones in on this the film portraying a toxic relationship. aspect of the film for two reasons. The So, I thought today we could take a look at first is that throughout the film, Harper some of the pressures that a mainstream isn’t actually very nice to Abby. While queer rom com is up against and whether the film does open with some pleasant or not The Happiest Season met all the set up to indicate that they’re happily weighty expectations of the queer world. in love prior to the events of the film, So, given that this is a Christmas movie the majority of the movie is occupied by that just came out, and you may not have the fact that having to hide her identity actually had a chance to watch it yet, I will makes Harper mean in ways she didn’t keep my recap reasonably spoiler-free anticipate, and of course Abby bears the brunt of it. She’s left alone at posh parties mean that the film is bad representation and forced to watch while Harper flirts of lesbianism overall. And if it’s bad with her high school boyfriend. The more representation then it’s a bad film and Abby points out she’s uncomfortable, the the queer community deserves better worse Harper’s behaviour becomes. etc. And look, I’m not here to criticise anyone’s particular reading of the film, The second is that, even though this but I think that reducing The Happiest film was touted as fun, queer Christmas Season to these two things alone ignores romp, it is still a coming out narrative. the nuance of the plot, and the fact that If you are queer and watch a lot of really the film does manage to fairly queer cinema, you’ve probably noticed successfully negotiate a real pressure that ‘coming out’ is often the central cooker of a genre smash. theme. Which makes sense if you think about how queer people have been Playing in a particular genre requires represented on screen previously – enough knowledge of the rules to rather than being explicit, they’re often know when to break or follow them. coded or ambiguous, meaning that some The Happiest Season is playing across sort of revelatory narrative feels almost Christmas movies, rom coms and queer necessary sometimes. But there have films, all of which have their own unique been hundreds of these stories told pressures. Christmas movies need a over and over, sometimes very well and happy ending, preferably with some sort sometimes extremely poorly, and queer of acknowledgement of the importance audiences, perhaps understandably, of family over material goods (AKA the have gotten a little sick of them. For one true meaning of Christmas). Rom coms thing, it would be nice just to watch an need a villain and temptation and true actual silly little film about our silly little love (obviously). I can hear you being lives without it being about the crushing like “What are the rules for queer weight of having to unburden yourself of cinema, Alex? Surely it’s just that there closet literally all the time. For another, are queers involved.” And look, you’re the way coming out is always presented not wrong. Queer cinema spans across as this final act of embracing who you actual genres, like comedies, dramas are can feel really reductive, especially and Christmas movies all the time. But if you’ve ever come out and you realise you know what the big draw card is? that you basically have to do it as an Queers will watch them, almost without ongoing process with varying degrees of fail.