AWILFRID LAURIER UNIVERSITY STUDENT PUBLICATION VOLUME XXXII, ISSUE 12 THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1991 " P""ll-. IE--3I I~ Performer Stevie Starr showed off his regurgitating skill in Wilf's last Saturday. A very hardy crowd watched in awe as the hairy-chested man swallowed things -­ billiard balls, light bulbs, coins, butane, and as pictured here, live fish -­ and · then brought them up again. There's no story about this inside, what more is there to sayt We thought it might be nice .. to put it on the cover, though. Picture: Chris Skalkos. >1{-' •. ---.._.. ~~ --, .,:: -:p ., ~---- --=---=--~ ~-=- ---~.::--:--=--=--- - TJ>IUR.SD.A."Y". N<>"VE~ER.. 7. 1991 N 884-1360 STUDENTS' UNION Researcher Position 7 Opening Applications in STATION Students' Union Offices NOV. 12 IN THE UIDEO GAME I 0 AM- 8PM CX)\(XJJ{£ GIUEAWAY MAKE SIUDEl'IT ISSUES Deadline: ELECTION ISSU Tomorrow at 4:30p.m. November 17th . staying greot· .. It's not ettSY ils of styrofoam. ld from the ev ave the wor Help WLV _s & LVG 'a MVG, pus MESS KIT l.Jse your cAM rn ern be r to and re * RECYCLE *REUSE REDUCE GERRY WATSON "Ouw£!tt's PrcJIIier Billiard Entertainer" CANADIAN PRO (llt\MPION 8 ::, 9 IJt\LL A M , A 0 ' G K NOWS YOUR CHANCEl comln~ soon to the l.ill1f1E~@ I]f\[g -THE CONCOURSE @JR[ NOVEMBER 11th Keep your TICKETS GO ON SALE lfill©IfYJJ eyea peal NOV. 14 $7 IN ADVANCE 12:00 TO 2:00 PM $9 AT THE DOOR J'YL,&lYJEill CClliJ&IL.llJEJRI@IE for more MFfU:~li\lCVi TimiTCCIKS: ~lfliCWH'fS info I ir~ C[J 1))liv'JJ!E]])'Lf THUR.SDA."Y. NC)V"E~ER. 7. 1991 ~ C:::C)R.J:> EI>Ir:T'<>~I.A.I...... P..A.<Y:E II Christmas doesn't cut it n November second I saw my first Christma.> commercial while W:itching the Golden Girls. On November third I pried open my mailbox to discover an assortment of Christmas flyers ranging from Beaver Lumber to 0 Dutch Boy. November fourth I received an invitation to a CJ:..ristmas Party. I got the hint, and attempted to compose my annual Christmas list. Unfortunately I received no visions of Santa Claus, no whispers from tiny elves, and my Christmas albums were stashed under last year's Psychology notes. Maybe it was because I was still fmishing off my Hallowe'en candies or maybe it was because I was broke, but my Christmas list remained rather ~hort. · I just can't seem to get into the spirit of it all this year, probably because the twelve days of Christmas are soooo far away. The problem is that once upon a time Christmas was one day a year and not a season. It meant some­ thing as both a religious holiday and as a time to enjoy family and friends. I find it hard to think about all things before the month of December appears on my calender. , I've just put away my Bart Simpson costume and all of a sudden Christmas is at my doorstep and, quite frank­ A WiHrid Laurier University Student Publication ly, I'm not prepared for it. I've got it! Next year for Hallowe'en I'll go out as Santa and just blend the two holidays to· 75 University Ave. West, Waterloo, Ont N3L 2C5 gether! Because let's face it folks the meaning of Christmas is lost in the shuffle anyway. (519) 884·2990 --Fax: (519) 886-9351 Advertising: (519) 884·5092 Karen Lennox, Features Editor NOVEMBER 7, 1991 The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of the rest of The VOLUME XXXII, ISSUE 12 Cord. EDITORIAL BOARD EDITOR·IN-CHIEF .................................. Mark Hand NEWS EDITOR ......................... Mike vanBodegom ASSOCIATE NEWS * IDITOR •• ,.. •• .,., ............................. ,........... Sheldon Pag.e emember With a Poppy SCENE EDITOR .................................. Dave Marcus -~~ SPORTS EDITOR .................................... Paul Reed FEATURES ED1TOR ......................... Karen Lennox PRODUCTION MANAGER ................................... Stephanie Perrin Aulstant Scene Editor ................... Sarah Brophy Production Assistants: ..................................................... Nik/ Westman ................................................. Allison Woodley .................................................. Jonathan Batch Cllaslfled Co-ordinator ...................... Reno Ward Circulation and Filing ...................... Phil Klnzlnger Copy Editors ..... ._ .................... Jennifer O'Connell Anthem for Doomed Youth ...............·-············--········••······-···- Jsnnlt.r Otter What passing bellS for these who die as cattle7 CONTRIBUTORS: Only the monstrous anger of the guns. Chris Dodd, Jeff Dragich, sp$nser grey, Terry Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle Glogan, Richard Lee, Dean Macko, Deanne Male, Can patter out their hasty orisons. Dwayne Proctor, Rob Matich, Mike, Ike & Psycho, No mockeries now for them; no prayers nor bells, Bob Dylan, Chris Skalkos, Steve Hodgson, Marty Nor any voice of mourning wave the chiors,--­ the Smarty, Ingrid Nielsen, Brenda Morehouse, The shrill, demented choirS of wailing shells; Cathy.Jo Noble, Greg Chang, Christina Craft, Keri Downs clo Big Propaganda Machine, Jeff Heywood, And bugles calling for them from sad shireS. Steve Hornick, Barry Jowett, Andrew Thompson, carey Waters, DenyS DalvS, Ouija, KZ, and Gino for supplying the cheaper gwb. What candles may be held to speed them all7 Production: Jana said she'd help but didn't, and Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes Marly had a... er ... something else to do. Jody was too good to eat with the rest of us, Shall shine the holy glimmers of good-byes. Photo: Steve Hodgson, Harvey Luong, Chris The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall; Skalkos, Jen Kuntz. Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds, And each sloW dusk of draWing-down of blinds. STUDENT PUBLICATIONS - SYSTEMS TECHNICIAN ................. - ..... Rick Dales Wifred owen (1893-1918) PHOTO MANAGER ............................. Usa Darling Photo Technicians~ ................... ~......... Ward Black """....................................... Pier Paul OVerduln Graphic Arts Technician ................. Kevin Watson ADVERTISING: MANAGER ........................................... Peter Matiss Ad Productlon .................... _....... Adrlenne HOdgin .............................................. Caroline Versteeg BOARD OF DIRECTORS Fraser Kirby, President Devin Kreuger John McHutchion Greg Chang Allan Lee Karen Lennox Keith Robinsoo Nick Jimenez (ex offiCio) The Cord likea 10 see other people's ll*nlw in print. Pl.,_o submit 1-. to lhc Editor typed and dwble-spaced by Mooday at noon for the lllllowina publicali<lo. We can mly printlottel'll that bqr the author' a ~ -.lelephoae numbor, and l.D. nwnb<lr (if ~pplicabl~). b\lt we won't ,... tbilllllff if you doo't want 111 10. All•ubmiasiOJU ~tho prop- 1117 ol Tile Cord and w~ l'e&«VO tho rigm to edit and ICfll&o my 11\ibrna. liaal, becallle we're 10 pat we .btow what'• belt for YQU· Fllllhcanore, n. Card will n01 print anything considered to be IClli$t. :r~cist ot lllacJPioblc in nal\UO by tho staff u a voling body, or which is in vioi.· daD II our code of Clhica, creed, or implie.lhat tomCOM ia on speed. l!ip monlb, 24 issue Cord lllhscript.ioo ntea are: $20.00 fat ad· ._ wilhin Ccnad& and $25 Olllaide tho COW!lly, but Atlantil ia 5lill a IIO'JO- Co-op students may Nbscribco 11 a tale of $10 per four monlh woli -.if you were lucky enoogh 10 get a job. The offim of Tbe Cord are making m~ reilly <li11uruopbobic, but 11111 can atill visit them on the 2nd floor of tho Tim Brown Tllld Removu Bllilding. The Cord is printed by tho anthropologiCilly questiMwle poople at the Cambrlda:e Reporter. • Tbt Cord is published ooce a week during the fall_ and winlct t.emls We did an oopsie llld can ooly get better what with $34 lhousand in new computer equip­ IIIIIIL The Cord is a member of the Ontario Commlll!ily New.papcr A&, n last week's letters I made an oops. The letter from Mohine Athia and Diane Sardi "Feminists are not man-haters, IOciation, and so far none of oot al\lllllli have evl'! mado Prime Minister, bitches and dykes; feminism does not attack men", contained an extra word. It read, "Challenge and change should bla we'restm hoping. Copyright (c) 1991 by WLU St~ent Publicatio!lf, 75 University make people fearful", but it should have read, "Challenge and change make people fearful". You'll probably agree A~ West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3CS. No part of~ p11blication r.-ay I the mistake changes the meaning of the line considerably. I apologize to the authors, and to any readers for whom this be ~uced wilhout permiSsion of the Edilot>-in·Odcf. To line tape or not 10 line tape... caused a problem. The Editor Laurier .disposes · of employees Dear Editor, tions Inc., wrote letters to three we were hired on our becoming sity 's work should be returned to employees. An article published under the Wilfrid Laurier University University employees; we were the University. University em­ headline "Provincial clawback Telecollege employees, inform­ not advised in writing by the Uni­ ployees should be reinstated to do The Telecollege Staff: strips $196,557 from this year's ing them that they would be laid versity when we were hired that that work. In order to salvage one Catherine DuQuesnay operating budget" in the October off, in spite of Wilfrid Laurier we were not University employ­ of Wilfrid Laurier University's Roberta Kay Williams 8, 1991, Wilfrid Laurier Univer­ University Vice President Dr. ees; we were paid by the Univer­ most prestigious and creative de­ Sunil Kuru villa sity Laureate reports that there Andrew Berc~i' s· public as­ sity according to University partments, the University com­ Susan Lennard has been "no decision to reduce surances that there would be no guidelines; we are members of munity must protest the giving Werner Lindshinger staff." On October 15, 1991, Cliff lay-offs. In a memo to the the University Staff Association; away of Telecollege productions Sheryl Loeffler Bilyea, Director of Part-Time Telecollege staff on October 17, we are included under the collec­ to outside production companies Karen McCaul-McLaugh/ill Studies and Continuing Educa­ 1991, Cliff Bilyea wrote, "Dr.