The Trail Volume 11 The Associated Students of the United Parcel Services April 1, 1988 Number 25 1500 North Warner, Tacoma, WA 98416 © 1988, ASUPS Trail staffers screw up .4- ..., . , -...;......e- zt., 3"'k"9.: , -`,.. f,,,•.i-k,..-7. Notice the studly scecurity dude with his radio in this police rendering How a Trail staff member saw the incident From the A. F. Wire Members of the staff seemed less like a lot less trouble there." and given the option of being disciplined concerned. "I didn't think it was any big deal. I by either the Dean of Students or the As if The Trail had not created enough "What the hell? The Trustees do it all just do things like this to get attention Student Honor Court. problems on campus this year. Now, the time! I mean, we were going to get from Sadler and Badham over at Security. "In the end, I guess it's the lesser of those slimebags were caught drinking IN a permit, but there wasn't time. We had I really like those 'bare bulb' discussions two evils," said Harlan. "I can't decide THE SUB. Some of 'em are even an issue to get out, students to serve," in Todd's office after I screw up. It's just which is lesser. We'll probably go with under 21. And all of 'em were said Rob Huff, The Trail's News Editor. like work," said Editor and former the Court, because they're students and schnockered. "Everybody knows about that certain Security Shift Supervisor Dave Harlan. they probably realize we were just The intoxicated staff was discovered at incident up in the ASUPS office earlier Harlan's former bosses at Security having fun. Besides, you know, we have approximately 1:23 a.m. Thursday by this year," said Features Editor Caitlin J. seemed to think it was a "big deal." a lot of connections on the court. But Security Services staff member Steve Moughon, after she had sobered up. "I Chuck Joy, Shift Supervisor at the time that's off the record. Hey, quit writing Lambert. The office was in similar don't see what's so different. It's not like of the alleged debauchery, said "I called ..., and turn off that tape recor ..." disarray, with bottles strewn all over and it would affect the outcome of the paper Todd [Assistant Director of Security "No question. We'll go with the a stench worse than normal. anyway. And when I'm working, I'd Todd Badham] because I didn't know Court," said Moughon. "Hell [wait, can "We were originally called because rather have a bottle in front of me than a exactly what to do. He said, 'Close up we print that?], a couple of them stopped students at Gamma Phi Beta heard a little frontal lobotomy." the office, go to Channel two, call by during the party. One even picked up bit of noise. We traced it to the SUB, "You have to be twenty-one to drink?" T.P.D., and get everybody down there. a case of Regal for us. But I can't say figuring it was some of those skate rats asked Co-Production Manager Jim We want those dudes. We want 'em who, mats oui." who hang around here all the time. Webster. "I didn't know that. If I had, I bad.- Whatever happens, some people are "But that was not the case. What we never would have done it." Patrolman John Cooke said, "I always steamed around campus. found was just disgusting," Lambert "Well I didn't do any of it," said Ad knew Harlan and Huff were skoads." "Boy, Todd and Bruce [Security said. "I've never seen it worse anywhere, Manager Charley "Varsity" Whiton. A major question at this point is how Directors] sure were peeved," Harlan even on Union Avenue. And on school "I'm in training, you know." the case will be handled. As with any said. "I guess we should have invited property. I can hardly wait until the "I wish I were back in Canada," said students, the staff will be charged with a them." Honor Court hearing on this one." Graphics Editor Peng Hsiao. "Seemed violation of the University's Honor Code We're not 100 years old 20th century until 1901, we just got "We've used up all of our good party From the A. F. Wire kind of mixed up." ideas for this year. But then, I guess it's After careful examination this week, Asked to comment on the mistake, the a goof that could only happen once." the mathematics department has Trustees called a meeting which lasted Princess Lisa South restated discovered that this year is not the over five hours. At the close of the Stephenson's concerns. University's Centennial--because of a gathering, they issued a statement which "We're so bummed. I've lived for the miscalculation, the university is really read: Centennial for the last year and a half. only 99 years old. "OOPS. Sorry. Come back next I've lost my family and my friends, my Apparently, once all of the funds had year, okay?" grades have dropped, I haven't slept since been raised for Centennial celebrations, The recent discovery left Centennial October 1986, and I've become a heavy the administration got a little too excited organizers extremely frustrated and drinker. To find this out now is kind of and made an assumption, as well as an feeling their work was all in vain. a drag." ass out of you and me. "After all the shouting, we're really Fibbs said that he sympathized with • "We just naturally assumed it would shocked to see that the university is only the students. be 100 years from 1888 to 1988," said 99," said Amy Stephenson, Centennial "Really, it's hardest on them. All we Puget Sound President Fil Fibbs. "But "Princess". "It's kind of embarrassing, in Jones Hall really did was get those with all that weird century changing really. After we invited all of those page 2 stuff, you know, where it's not really the people and all." See Centennial April 1, 1988 2 0, Jacuzzis on way The proposed site of these edifices will A $29 million athletic complex be the parcels of land currently housing proposal was announced yesterday by the Baker Stadium, Wallace Pool, and Publicity Office of the University of Warner Gym. Puget Sound with the new facilities to At $29 million, the complex will be r be completed in June of 1990. quite a serious undertaking. Fortunately, In this surprise announcement, the the fundraising campaign is already speaker for the university proclaimed, pointed in the right direction. "The university has an urgent need to "An anonymous donor has put the balance its high academic achievements drive in motion with a gift of $20 with superior athletic performance. To million for a new sporting complex," accomplish this objective, the university announced the publicity spokesman."We will need state-of-the-art equipment in are planning to also put in a bid to host order to facilitate this shift in priorities. the swimming events at the 1991 The proposed center would include an Goodwill Games which will be held in indoor football field which will be the Tacoma area. encompassed by a standard sized track. The Goodwill Games committee has Other new facilities include additional been searching for months for a place to basketball courts, a 50-meter swimming hold its swimming competition, and the pool, six bubbly jacuzzi spas, saunas, university's bid will probably be accepted and a Nautilus weightroom. as a qualified site. Centennial in my last year. Now that's all messed up, and I wish I had gone to Centennial from front page PLU," one said. Mariners get studs "Well shoot, if I had known it was the cool banners made and get the banquet Centennial, I would have been mad to 111.23 mph fastball on May 3, 1977. permits for all the alumnae cocktail find out it wasn't," another commented. From the A. F. Wire Still, there remains some question as to parties in the SUB. It was nothing. But the speed of his current pitches, but the Princesses and the students really put Alumnae were pissed and confused Pulling off something of a coup one was clocked at 105+ mph during their hearts into this. I feel terrible. I too. today, the Seattle Mariners put 1986. guess it's just part of their education for themselves in a position to challenge for Quality pitching is not a cheap and a lifetime, though. Everything doesn't "The thing that really makes me mad the pennant by signing two Japanese abundant resource. Sasaki's contract always work out as planned, you know." is that I sent $2000 to the Centennial heroes to bolster their pitching and hasn't been made public but is believed fund. I don't like to pay for screw-ups power hitting. to be in the range of $2.5 million per "Well, maybe everything doesn't like this. And my bonus from Boeing Pitcher Kito "Ironarm" Sasaki was season. Sasaki is also seeking a ten year always work out as planned," an doesn't come until December." obtained in a trade with the Tokyo Tigers guaranteed contract which may be too anonoymous student commented, "but involving two Mariner farm prospects. long a time span for a 38 year old you'd think the administration of the "What do you mean it's only 99?" The 38-year-old Sasaki has played pitcher.