BULK RATE U.S. POSTAGE PAID Permit N9.2419 lPE lPITClHl K.C., Mo. FREE ALL THE MUSE TI:AT FITS THE PITCH ISSUE NO. 10 JULY -AUGUST 1981 LeRoi, John CaIe, Stones, Blues, 3 Friends, Musso. Give the gift of music. OIfCharlie Parleer + PAGE 2 THE PENN:Y PITCH mJTU:li:~u-:~u"nU:lmmr;unmmmrnmmrnmmnunrnnlmnunPlIiunnunr'mlnll1urunnllmn broke. Their studio is above the Tomorrow studio. In conclusion, I l;'lish Wendy luck, because l~l~ lPIITC~1 I don't believe in legislating morals. Peace, love, dope, is from the Sex Machine a.k.a. (Dean, Dean) p.S. Put some more records in the $4.49 RELIGIOUS NAPOLEON group! 4128 BROADWAY KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI 64111 Dear Warren: (Dear Sex Machine: Titles are being added to (816) 561-1580 I recently came across something the $4.49 list each month. And at the Moon­ I thought you might "Religion light Madness Sale (July 17), these records is excellent stuff keeping common will be $3.99! Also, it's good to learn that people quiet." --Napoleon Bonaparte the spirit of t_he late Chet Huntley still can Editor ..............• Charles Chance, Jr. (1769-1821). Keep up the good work. cup of coffee, even one vibrated Assistant Editors ...•. Rev. Frizzell Howard Drake Jay '"lctHUO':V_L,LJLe Canyon, Texas LOVE FINDS LeROI Contributing Writers and Illustrators: (Dear Mr. Drake: I think Warren would Dear Warren: Milton Morris, Sid Musso, DaVINK, Julia join us in saying, "Religion is like This is really a letter to Donk, Richard Van Cleave, Jim poultry-- you gotta pluck it and fry it LeRoi. I'm sure you won't mind. C. Haggle, Rev. Dwight Frizzell, up before you can sink your teeth in." I picked up the first issue of Charles Chance,Jr., Sheryl Niernberger, In Buddhism, the fifth perfection is Penny PITCH last week (actually Rosie Scrivo, Sally Hamilton, Brookes COURAGE. As the lion, king of beasts, three weeks ago now) and there DeSoto, Jay Mandeville, H.B. Prophet, whether lying down or standing up, lacks he was---in black and white--­ Joe Steinger, Jeff Miller, Broadway no courage, but is ever light-hearted, LeRoi!! ! Rex, Rodney Franks, Lane Turner and so <'_Iso shall we in each of our indi­ You all may remember me as Dave Trabue (Trivia Quiz) , Willy vidual existences hold fast to our the blonde looking for Human the Electrician and Willi I-Reet. courage. Napoleon fell; he was a tyrant. Sexual Response-Fig. 14. I keep I think Bob Marley ,would join us in say­ asking people for it, but all @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ing, "All religions that uphold tyranny I've gotten so far is smiles INSPIRATION FOR THIS ISSUE: shall likewise fall.") and offers for dates (17 so far!) There really is an album by that Warren Stylus name. $4.49 LP's, Mohawk Hair, & Chains Then, 10 and behold, on a @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ cloudy, overcast Saturday, I Dear Warren & Pitch: ",'as at a neighboring' record Send letters and comments to: I salute Penny Lane for their wide establishment in Westport and Charles Chance, Jr. selection of $4.49 Ips. It is one of the who did I meet?---LeRoi in full c/o PENNY PITCH best values in Ka~as City. I add it to and living color! I was thrilled, 4128 Broadway my list of other good deals, such as $1.02 but not speechless. I suggested K.C., Mo. 64111 concerts, twilight movies, general admission a poetry corner to be added to at the Royals' games, burritos and chili at each Penny PITCH pUblication. In-A-Tub north of the river, and, lest we But, before we could talk much Music Lessons forget, the coveted Penny !:itch. more, an employee of the store Also, good luck\_~ Wendy O. Williams, the whisked him off for a drink at 4 BRYAN HICKS (BASSIST-GUITARIST) girl who is trying to bring the "Mohawk" a local pub and our conversation haircut back. She's not the kind of girl you was abruptly ended. Such is the BROAD PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE take home to Mother unless, of course, your life of a celebrity, neve_r mother is into ,-.mips'and -chain~. I'm not time for his fallIS_ ~ (~~ 1EACHES IN HIS HOME into Wendy's music, but I like the excitement Anyway to start I on Tom r Tom said that after the show went 'S-<EMPHASlS ON JAZZ EMPHASIS ON JAZZ Plasmatics made so much smoke There you were with your long the NBC stUdios were on fire. hair streaming, so loud that Huntley and Brinkley's coffee The light was gleaming off cups got vibrated off of their table and your dark glasses. POSTUllES for THE PENNY PITCH PAGE 3 -"= Friday Night In San Francisco c:=.. live Jo~ ..\.1)\ MEOl.A ~cl."UGHl.l,.y />,fcoDflUC/A C'igarette poised, as if you P. S . --Nothing is wrong with the were about to toss it, But, picture of LeRoi and Edie at SOCIALIST PERSONS + INDIVIDUALITY I knew you wouldn 't. ANTISOCIAL SOCIALIST You would smoke it down to the Souper except that I am not sitting next to LeRoi. So there!! the butt. and throw it on the HOW floor, HOWDY Mashing it out with your HOWDO tennies, Calling DAVID BYRNE HOW YA BE Being careful not to mel t MY VEHICLE IS YELLOW, I PARKED the rubber. IN FRONT OF THE CITY MOVIE CENTER. LATER A YOUNG INDIVIDUAL RELATED You looked at me, just for a TO THIS SOCIAL ESTABLISHMENT, second it seemed, COMES FORTH WITH HITING (sic), Then you turned to talk to MY EAR DRUMS WITH HARSH WORDS a friend. SUCH AS; YOUR CAR LOOKS LIKE I didn I t know who you were, Just SHIT, YOU HAVE' STUPID FOOTWEAR, a customer I guessed, YOU LOOK LIKE A CLOWN. Just another customer. I CALL THAT BAD BUSINESS PRO­ CEDURE IN THE FIRST DEGREE, I MEAN I WAS A POTENTIAL CUSTOMER. SERIOUSLY, AN ENTERTAINER I picked up a Penny PITCH, It was free. (Dear Entertainer: We have great I ambled slowly home, and f ai th in your po ten tial . ) when I was there, Played Grace I s latest and fixed a Coke. LETTEIOS GALMUD Listened for awhile, sat back, Guiro Warren! . and opened up the PITCH. Enfal ni pibra incha ni AND THERE YOU WERE!!! publicca LETTEROS galmud. Hara AND YOUR NAME WAS LEROI!! guin frecca pinoma, es binoma alber filig-oruss. Guaid pibra, LeRoi at the mike ..... ni pibra docce, bone pibra ust LeRoi smoking a cig, looking baiud renta es talb. Am LETTEROS tough ...•. LeRoi driving out Penny PITCH j i muingos! Llaid of Good Buy Motors with rocce incha pibra ust sontea. another cig (you smoke too Starra guesto llimiud encharad much) dangling between your hara folone, hara macce-hus, lips, giving the thumbs up hara guesto pargamud. sign ... LeRoi sitting back Blesta fargus Penny PITCH holding an album up and mili guen LE ROIS? giving me that "1 ' m mean­ Arfa gobus llecce hara es. as-Hell-LoQk" ..... LeRoi finally Shingone pibra fatte more chom­ gi ving the keys to the winner less briva odra minminius aUlippe. of the Cooder Car..• Popria mal orchadal pibra, pibra, focce mui tes blari nocesa Where, oh where, did this man andamud. ~~ in overalls come from? Guiordo Ramasdd How did he come to be PennyLane I s own Mr. Personality? My head swims with que stions , but all I can ask is ••. Who 'are you LeRoi??????????? Miss Caryn (Dear 3727 Washington: If money talks, David (Hussy with a Heart) Byrne will probably be phoning you!) PJ'llJE 4 CHANCE'S ENCOURAGES ITS READERS TO BE ITS WRITERS. CHOICE SEND CONTRIBUTIONS THE PENNY PITCH 4128 BROADWAY KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI 64111 the TUnUS2nJUIT When the twin girls who had been born joined at their skull tops finally got separated, one neuron from each brain fired a nervous impulse into the fluor­ escent hospital air. Like hummingbird knuckles (only smaller), the impulses hovered and darted about, happy, if a little edgy, to be part of something bigger than usual. Back at the brains, a couple of syna­ pses were having a hard time of it. Whew. The twins were fast asleep and knew nothing of this. One of them dreamed of a great, glowing light. There is always work to be done in a hospital, because doctors haven't been able to get everyone to sleep, die, and eliminate wastes at the same time every­ one else does. A recent medical esta­ blishment manifesto, "Functional Simul­ taneity", has made strides in that ·direction, but no cigar. Keep working. Freud smoked a cigar. same one, over and over. "Yes, ita phallic symbol," he admitted. "But it is also a cigar." And upon the ravings of such& a man we base Western culture. The twin who dreamed of light has stopped dreaming now. If her mind were ;h:e~~he?~w~~J,l~~e~!k~!he (she is), and that in this TH~_ ... head floats off like a huge Now that would be something. u.faJ~ LS.~LO.A R~GE. .,. A hospital like this one cannot escape ' ];N IIIIIPE· AN· ~:tfIIf.. E F the ticking sound of a streetlight in front of the nearby (call it irony if tfIa CRiti" £: DSH - E you will) cemetery. There is no escape, PATi~.~IL-e:-..rS .. ~~ because it goes on, regular as a clock. ,.. T ~ SE p.UJ..s~S (The twins' parents don't know about It'l S A.N~ this--they're looking at the twins, rr. sleeping in separate beds for the first time. Things look pretty good here; back to the streetlight).