London Hash House Harriers Volume 36 Issue 3 November 2013 Hash Wedding Pages 4 to 7 ERIC “Oi! C’mere you. I’ll give you ‘Awn Awn’ yer cheeky b*stard!” LH3 Hash Contacts Touch Rugby 2013 Hare Grand Master Paul “Bonnie” Tylor [email protected] ___________________________________________________________ Hon Sec Ging Gang Goolie [email protected] ___________________________________________________________ Edit Hare Clifton “Chi-Su” Alden-Jones [email protected] Wacker ___________________________________________________________ Hare Raiser Naughty Nympho [email protected] ___________________________________________________________ Send items for this mag to the edit hare above. Many thanks to all who sent in jokes or photos for this issue. Download the colour version from the website http:// www.londonhash.org/hashtrash.php This magazine is private & confidential and for members of the London Hash House Harriers Forthcoming Events - wider hash calendar Date Event Where Webshite Contacts 75th Anniversary Selayang Quarry, 9th Nov 2013 Opera Celebration Run Kuala Lumpur Royal Selangor Club http://www. 6-8 Dec 2013 Diamond Jubilee H3 in Kuala Lumpur, rschhhdiamon- Speedy Malaysia. drun2013.com Hosted by the http://www. 13-16 Mar 2014 Interhash 2014 Hainan H3 in interhash2014. Hainan, China. com/ Hosted by the http://www. 23-25 May 2014 40th Anniversary Bicester H3 in Bicester, UK. bicesterh3.org/ http://www.ah3. Danish Nash Hosted by the 6-8 Jun 2014 Arhus H3 in Arhus, dk/nashhash2014/ Helle Hansen Hash Denmark. index.php Pre-Lube to http://brussels. 23-24 July 2014 Hosted by CLaWs Yorky Porky Brussels 2014 londonhash.org Hosted by Brussels http://www. 25-27 July 2014 Brussels 2014 Manneke Piss & interhash2014. Higgins Ostende Gonads H³s com : Sp Run 2126 • The Village Inn RA arerib Hare Rayner’s Lane • 10th June 2013 Wacker Don’t you just hate it when countryside of Eric’s jaunt Turku, Finland and of her cycle jacket. Her you set out in reasonable last week was none the less Longfellow, formerly recent naming at WLH3 time for an event or show very pleasant. of the Saipan hash in was declared inadmissible and the bloody trains Micronesia. One was very by the LH3 Jury as guest conspire against you? When It was a certainly shock tall indeed, the other not RA Robocop was allegedly for your appointment happens seeing Psychedelic so. on his 7th pint at the time to be for LH3’s Monday the first time in years. I and therefore incapable of night trail it’s a real think that that headband Roadkill and his daughter sound judgement. Besides, bummer. Regular Facebook must be permanently Flat Pussy both earned her new name is clearly updates from Hot Down attached to his bonce. themselves a down down; much better. it was always going to South en route confirmed We were even treated to that I was not alone in my happen. I think Dad was Nice run Wacker. I thought the Art Deco splendour that the MF set a pretty plight. driving home on this of the Zoroastrian Centre occasion. decent trail. Having arrived at the on the Inn Trail. Silly The circle was treated to Post Run Update: Verity Wetherspoons pub at question, it is London’s an epic monologue from is still hashing regularly Rayners Lane at 7.20 pm principal place of worship a la ‘Whose Longfellow but with CH3. It is I seriously doubted any for Zoroastrians. Line is it Anyway’ style rumoured that Sparerib chance of catching up tribute. I just wish I had Prior to the down downs, is devastated. the pack. I noted a nice Thunderthighs paid the foresight to record selection of ales for later tribute to the sad passing a video from my phone so it would be worth caning of Meal Ticket and the but was laughing too it round at least. circle raised a glass to him much at the time. and all hashers & harriettes However, thanks to an The recent weather no longer with us. Scribe impeccably marked trail by had been great whilst Wacker (and several SCB Down downs: Bonnie and Naughty marks) I managed to catch First time virgin Verity who Nympho had been up with Mad Cow, the managed to heckle the RA in Hong Kong then of shy and retiring tVerity at every opportunity to the course it deteriorated and Guilty (but not for great delight of the circle. on their return. much longer). I had been Not content with her first ‘Guilty’ was pounding the concrete of drink she sunk another jar suburbia for rather too renamed to for her bizarre obsession ‘Turn Me off’ as long so a short hop and with Mad Cow’s bum and jaunt down a path off the Thunderthighs the length of Longfellow’s acknowledged her bridge led to a glorious Co….ncentration levels. I request on the trail expanse of green trail and think we have a harriette to switch off the playing fields. Whilst not in the making. light on the back quite matching the epic Visitors: T-shirt from Charlatan 3 Q. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? A. Polaroids. Run 2124 • The Sun Inn RA: Spar erib Richmond • 1st June 2013 Hen Hare Hey, those hashers who started hashing under the last king - is a hash wedding ceremony something that has been done before? Or, is this a first? The mastermind behind this splendid day was the Hot one (I forget names...Hot All Over?) She quickly co-opted a team including hash royalty, R & T who set Stag and Hen trails, and the Rev’d Sparerib to act as, well, Religious Advisor. He did his usual fair to middling job with the Ryde weather and there was a good turn out of wedding themed hashers and bemused visitors who made it to the well known slums of Richmond. Oh, by the way, the happy engaged couple were Game and Away and Hardcore Bomber (that’s just two people if you’re wondering..) 4 When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. Hen Hare Ryde Stag Hare Tablewhine 5 Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses? A. Brothel sprouts. The Vows Hard Core Bomber’s vows were from ‘Zen and the Art of Motor- cycle Maintenance’. I, Hard Core Bomber, being of sound body (more or less) and ques- tionable half mind - as- sert that I take thee Game & Away to be my hashfully wedded Har- riette. - I promise to inject only the highest quality ‘fuel’ at regular intervals and in sufficient quantity as to keep your motor run- ning - promise to lubri- cate all parts very well before use and warm you up before I go ‘off’ roaring down the road. - I promise to mount from the back, the side and all other possibili- ties and will only ride you backwards if you OK it (while sober) - I promise to only Ride you outdoors only in good weather - I promise to keep your headlights polished and spit shined as often as needed - I promise to keep your seat free from excessive wear Game & Away took her vows from the PC own- ers repair guide: - I promise to keep your hard drive hard - I promise to never use the term floppy again in referring to you - And the same goes for ‘software’ - and especially for the term MICRO-SOFT - I will serve you Spam only for breakfast - I promise to use a strong Virus checker and never let you get infected - I will always provide an available socket/outlet for you to plug in - (If you are not at home I will rely on my own backup batteries) 6 The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word ‘Facial’ is used. The Blessing Bless this couple, Bless this matrimony, Wife no headacheus, No shopping drag us, No moaning when snoreus, Map reading no lose us, Husband no fartus, Fore- play no sleepus, Breakfast in bedus . Flowers regularus, Plenty of cold beerus, Coitus non interruptus. Run 2129 • The Lamb Brewery Hares Chiswick Park • 24th June 2013 Ryde & Tablewhine I will start this run review by apologising at the pub, the pack had clearly for the hashed together nature of increased in size and the hashers this write-up but I came to scribing that had joined us en route included it quite by chance, many weeks after Rambo and Sthweetheart. At the it had taken place. Nevertheless, due brewery the pack partook in sampling to driving to the hash, my memory of all the fare the brewery had to offer. the occasion is better than it might As I was driving, I had to limit myself to well have been. Firstly, I remember the food which was worth the wait. thinking that, despite the trail being a long, long way from where I live My memory in the circle is not so in S.E London and where I work in great, probably because I was busy South London, it would still be worth eating food for most of it on the attending a trail hared by our own other side of the pub with Martian hash royalty: Ryde and Tablewhine. Matron, More-On and some of the I was not wrong. French friends. Needless to say that in the circle various members of the Of course it goes without saying that group were charged with a variety of the hares choose a fine drinking hole, The Lamb Brewery. The Lamb Brewery spurious offenses and down-downs was established in the 19th century were issued as and when required. and later re-established in 2012 and Finally, I do remember that our served a tasty variety of casked and recently-hash-married couple, HCB kegged beer and ales.