inside a guide to the resources within with 40 self-care practices to reset, rebalance, and revitalize LAS VEGAS, NV CONTENTS foreword—xvi author’s note—xviii introduction—xx PART ONE THE HEALING JOURNEY: IT STARTS WITH SELF-CARE ...................... 1 1!BECOME THE EXPLORER OF YOUR INNER WORLD ........... 5 Opening Yourself Up to Self-Healing .............................7 Starting with Self-Care .......................................7 You Are the Expert on You ................................... 9 Finding a New Relationship with Pain ........................... 11 Connecting to Your Energetic Self ............................. 11 Thank the Discomfort and Start Fresh .......................... 12 Practice: Grounding ........................................ 14 Embark on a Journaling Practice .............................. 14 Practice: Journaling ........................................ 16 Practice: Creating a Vision Board .............................. 17 2 WAKING UP TO MYSELF .............................. 19 Illumination ............................................... 19 Building Life on a Foundation of Pain ........................... 21 Reawakening My Inner Child ..................................23 Understanding Sufering’s Gifts ...............................24 Listening to My Body .......................................26 Releasing Blame, Accepting Responsibility .......................27 Taking Ownership of My Life ..................................28 Practice: Safe Haven ........................................29 Practice: What Makes You Feel Joyful? ......................... 30 Practice: Validation ........................................ 31 The Inner Child Returns Home ................................33 Awareness of Old, Worn-Out Habits ............................34 How Challenge Made Me Stronger .............................36 ii | CONTENTS 3 TRAUMA COMES IN ALL SHAPES AND FORMS .............. 39 Distinguishing between Hard Trauma and Soft Trauma ............. 40 Identifying Trauma in Your Life .................................41 Practice: Unwinding Your Body .............................. 44 Seeking Help in the Wrong Places ............................ 44 Getting Stuck in the Survival Mind-Set ..........................45 Cycling through Trauma Again and Again ....................... 46 Practice: Finding Your Relationship to Trauma ....................47 Disconnecting from the Body, Mind, and Spirit When Trauma Hits .... 48 Discovering a New Way of Being After Anxiety .................. 49 Learning that It’s Never Too Late to Heal ....................... 49 Finding Forgiveness ....................................... 50 Healing through Trauma Is a Heroic Act ......................... 51 4 PUTTING A PLAN FOR SELF-HEALING IN PLACE ............ 53 Preparing the Way for Self-Healing .............................53 Finding the Teacher Within .................................. 55 Becoming a Devoted Listener .................................56 Creating a Place of Rest Inside Yourself .........................57 Practice: Finding a Safe Place Within ...........................58 Your Healing Journey Has No Timetable .........................59 Reconnecting When Life Takes You Of Course ....................59 Tuning into Our Energy through the Chakras .................... 60 Practice: Laying Your Energetic Foundation ..................... 64 Building a Foundation Strong Enough to Handle Change ............65 Conquering Instant Gratification ...............................67 Learning Patience ......................................... 69 Asking for Help ........................................... 70 Thinking about Therapy ..................................... 71 Finding a Broader Sense of Self ...............................72 Self-Care Is Not Self-Indulgence ...............................73 Start Small, Go Easy ........................................74 Understanding that There Is No Failure ..........................75 CONTENTS | iii 5 GROWING YOUR BEGINNER’S MIND ..................... 77 What Is a Beginner’s Mind? ...................................77 Embracing Yourself as a Beginner ..............................78 Feeling Your Tenderfeet .....................................79 Practice: Tenderfoot Journaling .............................. 80 Nurturing Yourself as a Child ................................. 81 Being Kind to Yourself ......................................82 Bringing Awareness into Your Life .............................82 Practice: Self-Kindness ......................................83 Noticing Friendships Built on Wounds ......................... 84 The Honeymoon Period .....................................85 Preserving Your Energy .................................... 86 Practice: Morning Reflection..................................87 Becoming Vulnerable, Opening Up .............................88 Listening to Your Heart ..................................... 90 6 CULTIVATING THE WITNESS IN YOU ..................... 91 The Storm and the Observer .................................. 91 Detecting the Storm Inside Us ................................92 Becoming the Observer .....................................93 Practice: Seeing Life through the Observer Lens ..................95 Who Are You When Nobody’s Watching? ....................... 96 Understanding the Law of Karma ..............................97 Finding the Common Denominator ............................ 98 Stepping away from Blame ..................................100 Owning It All ............................................. 101 Practice: Stop, Look, and Listen .............................. 102 Guiding the Ego with the Observer ............................ 103 Nurturing the Observer with Self-Care ......................... 104 Moving Ahead ............................................ 105 7 MAKING SPACE FOR THE SACRED ...................... 107 Letting the Sacred In ...................................... 108 Your Sacred Space and Daily Rituals ........................... 109 My Sacred Space ......................................... 110 Practice: Create Your Sacred Space ........................... 112 Peeling Back the Onion ..................................... 113 iv | CONTENTS PART TWO CONNECTING THE FOUR ELEMENTS OF HUMAN LIFE: BODY, MIND, HEART, AND SPIRIT.... 114 Practice: Meeting the Four Elements: Body, Mind, Heart, and Spirit ... 117 Practice: Taking a Personal Inventory .......................... 118 8 THE BODY ....................................... 123 The Body Is Life’s Vehicle ................................... 125 Learning to Breathe to Heal the Body .......................... 125 The Healing Breath ........................................ 126 The Long Deep Breath ..................................... 128 Body Practice #1: The Long Deep Breath ....................... 129 Body Practice #2: Alternate Nostril Breathing ................... 130 Body Practice #3: Breath of Fire.............................. 131 How Yoga Became a Messenger for Healing ..................... 133 Bringing Yoga into Your Life ................................. 134 Body Practice #4: Yoga for Posture (Starting Pose) ............... 139 Body Practice #5: Yoga for Opening (Cat/Cow) .................. 141 Body Practice #6: Yoga for Balance (Marching) .................. 144 Body Practice #7: Yoga for Cleansing (Twisting) ................. 146 9 THE MIND ........................................ 149 Finding the Middle Road of Mindfulness ........................ 149 Shining Light on Your Mind .................................. 151 Making Meditation Work for You .............................. 152 Claiming Your Power through Meditation ....................... 153 Mind Practice #1: The Introductory Meditation ................... 155 Trusting the Brevity and Consistency of the Basic Practice .......... 159 Looking for Dedication, Not Perfection ......................... 161 Committing to Yourself with Discipline and Devotion .............. 161 Training a Stronger Mind .................................... 162 The Four Gifts of Meditation ................................. 163 Renewing the Mind with Healing Sleep ......................... 164 Mind Practice #2: Single Nostril Breathing (Relaxation/Energizing) ... 166 Mind Practice #3: A Beautiful Place to Rest ..................... 167 Mind Practice #4: Restful Transitions .......................... 168 Mind Practice #5: Awareness in Waking Up ..................... 169 CONTENTS | v Appreciating the Gifts of a Balanced Mind ...................... 169 Working with Mantras ...................................... 170 Mind Practice #6: Protective Mantras .......................... 171 10 THE HEART ..................................... 173 Facing Vulnerability ....................................... 174 Trusting the Energy of the Heart .............................. 174 Feeling the Efects of Love on the Four Elements ................. 176 Heart Practice #1: What Does Your Heart Say? ................... 177 Heart Practice #2: Self-Soothing ............................. 178 Heart Practice #3: Look in the Mirror .......................... 179 Heart Practice #4: Write a Letter to Your Future Self .............. 180 Becoming a Warrior of Love ................................. 180 Heart Practice #5: Warrior of Love ............................ 182 Heart Practice #6: Tapping into the Present Moment .............. 183 Recognizing the Threats to Love .............................. 185 Threat to Love #1: Judgment................................