Table of Contents Limits of Liability & Disclaimer of Warranty ............... 6 Suicide or Violence Warning ...................................... 7 Domestic Violence Warning ....................................... 7 Final D-day Story: How I Found Out … and my immediate reaction........................................................................ 10 My Immediate First Thought … after the shocking, life- changing news ............................................................. 11 Who This eBook is Best Suited For ............................... 13 Who It’s Not For .......................................................... 14 How this eBook Will Help You ...................................... 15 The Infidelity Stories: You’re Not Alone … This is What Happened to Others… .................................................. 16 Expectation Mismatch: “This Isn’t What I Had Hoped For!” ............................................................................ 18 Happy Times ≠ Love ..................................................... 20 Two Different Affairs: Relationship Stays Intact after Affair vs Relationship Ends After Affair … and why it matters ........................................................................ 22 3 Core Reasons I Believe Spouses Cheat and Decide to End the Marriage ..................................................... 25 Since the Affair Was Meant to Happen … It’s Time to Let Go ................................................................................ 30 The (Real) Reason We’re Scared and Sad to Move on Alone after the Affair ................................................... 33 But How Can You Let Go? ............................................ 34 Letting Go: If You Don't … You'll Stay Stuck and Will NOT Survive ......................................................................... 34 4 Not an End … just a new route … ................................. 35 … the New Beginning ................................................... 36 Let’s Begin on the New Journey Now… ........................ 37 Paradigm Switch: A New Approach to Bounce Back from a Broken Relationship and Lost Love ............................ 37 Time to Take Control: No One Can Take This ONE Thing Away from You… .......................................................... 39 What You Owe to Yourself ........................................... 40 The Traits of a Betrayed Spouse Survivor after Divorce and an Affair ................................................................ 41 Affair (after End of Relationship) Survivor’s Mindset Checklist ................................................................... 41 [Survival Checklist] after the Affair and Divorce ........... 53 More to Look Forward to Than You Think: The New Path Ahead .............................................................. 53 Summary: Re-route: Let Go, Focus on You, Get Well ... 67 *My New eBook*: “Life after Affair and Abandonment: How to Survive Alone after Your Cheating Spouse Leaves” ..................................................................................... 68 5 Limits of Liability & Disclaimer of Warranty The author of this eBook has used his best efforts in preparing this material. The author makes no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the contents of this material. He disclaims any warranties expressed or implied, merchantability, or fitness for any particular purpose. The author shall in no event be held liable for any loss or other damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. The information inside is for entertainment only and is not medical or psychological advice. If you have any doubts about anything, the advice of a competent professional should be sought. This material contains elements protected under International and Federal Copyright laws and treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. 6 Suicide or Violence Warning Let's clarify a few things before getting started. This course is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you're considering harming yourself or someone else due to depression that stems from the affair then please seek professional help. You can even call a suicidal help line. Here in the US that number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and is available at all times of the day, every day or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Even if you have not considered harming yourself but feel emotionally stuck to the point it causes depression then still consider seeking professional help from a therapist. Domestic Violence Warning Even if you would like to leave your relationship, it may not be safe if you face possible violent repercussions from your partner. If you feel threatened please seek help first before even mentioning you wish to leave the relationship. Visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline (here in the US) at http://www.thehotline.org/ or call 1-800-799- 7233. 7 Life Re-route: Survival List for Life Alone after Affair and Divorce “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor Frankl Austrian Neurologist, Psychiatrist, Holocaust Survivor Hello friend, my name is Orlando, owner of the blog InfidelityFirstAidKit.com. I relate to that quote every day, as I’m sure you can too. Surviving an affair alone after your spouse exits your life, or any type of hard relationship break up, requires that you take back control of your life. Which includes how you respond to the affair both emotionally and mentally, your attitude, confidence in yourself to create your own happiness, just to mention a few general characteristics. You must own your thoughts, adjust your own feelings and create your own source of motivation. Other people can provide some reassurance, but your decisions on what you believe will dictate how you rebound from this life changing moment. My main inspirational message in “Life Re-route: Survival List for Life Alone after Affair and Divorce” is that, 8 contrary to what you might believe right now, you have the opportunity to live the best life you’ve ever lived right now. And that does not involve finding a different man or woman to replace the last one. This involves something much bigger than depending on someone else to provide you happiness. It’s a chance to re-write your life’s story (or add to it), save yourself and inspire others who hear your story. Not only will you re-route your life’s path in a different direction than where it was headed before the affair, you have the chance to accomplish more now than ever before. Right now, you are headed to the most meaningful phase of your life because of the affair. Surprise! The complete opposite of what you feel right now. It’s just a matter of choice. People who want to survive the affair after their spouse is no longer part of their lives happens because they chose to take action to survive- not because they woke up one day feeling better. Will you accept responsibility for your own happiness and peace of mind? I did. And I am on a meaningful path that never would have happened without the affair and abandonment. I know that sounds strange. But you have the same opportunity too. 9 In order for me to help you, let’s get on the same page. You must see that my solutions make sense for you and that I am the right person to provide advice. I need for us to relate so that you can see how much we have in common so you can trust me. Let us start with my D-day… Final D-day Story: How I Found Out … and my immediate reaction I stared at my phone while I sat on the toilet and read the 3-second news that would force me to re-route my entire life. A mutual acquaintance had notified me via Facebook Messenger that earned my full attention. She had seen recent disturbing pictures of my wife with another guy on Instagram and it appeared they were living together. Turned out- they were. How did this happen? My wife decided to take a trip, which she told me was a month-long trip to visit family back home. Instead she diverted that trip to a different destination… …to move in with her lover. For a while leading up to that moment I felt something strange about her. I sensed that our days together were numbered, but just didn’t know how many were left. She had acted cold, distant and secretive for quite some time. And she also had cheated before- more than once. 10 But the hopeful romantic that I am gave her a second … and third chance. And all that managed to accomplish was to give her more time to devise an exit plan. Somewhere along the line she had decided a life with me had become a distraction and a diversion from getting what mattered more to her- a chance to achieve her career goals as a flight attendant and fulfill her passion to live in New York City. I could sense she might just get up and leave one day, but foolishly hoped for a miracle. Perhaps I felt I had learned from my experience of feeling controlled by previous women in my relationships. I gave her the space and freedom void of manipulation that I wish I had been given in those previous relationships. I hoped that would prevent her from feeling controlled. And as it turned out what resulted was meant to happen. She left. And not to shock you too early, but your spouse’s choice to leave was also meant to happen AND that was the best thing that could have happened. Just keep