APPENDICES 6B Ron's Story

APPENDICES 6b Ron's Story NOTES ON RON'S INTERVIEW Ron and I had had no professional or personal contact prior to my contacting him by telephone to arrange the interview. When I arrived to see Ron, he took me through the building and introduced me to staff and whanau who were there. We shared a cup of tea and some cake before beginning the interview. Ron took the opportunity to gently interview me before I had the chance to interview him. He then introduced himself through his iwi affiliations and background. <ul style="display: flex;"><li style="flex:1">Ron made it </li><li style="flex:1">The interview with Ron was open and emotional at times. </li></ul>clear that he had not articulated the basis of his philosophyꢁ theory and practice of counselling as a whole before. He was clearly exploring and developing his own understandings, of himself and his practice of counselling, as we talked. I was interested in what Ron did in his counselling practice and why he did what he did. Ron told me this and frequently also went a step ꢀrtherꢁ attempting to explain what he did and why he did it in terms of accepted Westeꢂ theories and practices. That is, he drew parallels between his own practice as a Maori counsellor, and established Westeꢂ practices. It may have been that Ron felt a need to justify his own theory and practice by linking it with recognised and published Westeꢂ theory and practice of counselling. It may also have been that Ron was formulating his own bicultural models of counselling theory and practice. Alteꢂatively, Ron may have been· better able to articulate Westeꢂ theory in a cogent and coherent wayꢁ while he was still exploring the Maori basis of his practice, 413 6b Ron's Story and often did not have a Maori 'framework' within which to clearly . articulate and justify this. 414 6b Ron's Story RON'S STORY In this section, some of the influences on Ron 's life and work up to thepresent are outlined. Ron belongs to the Muaupoko iwi. At the time of writing, Ron is 42 years old and lives in a rented two-bedroom home, which he shares with his uncle and <ul style="display: flex;"><li style="flex:1">C</li><li style="flex:1">l</li></ul>a young fella. . . who needs somewhere to stay. " Ron works with Yvonne in the Levin Alcohol and Drug (A & D) Centre. Ron was boꢀ in Wellington, but was raised in Levin, living with his Pakeha mother and Muaupoko father throughout his childhood and teenageyears. Brought up in the Catholic faith as one of eight children, Ron is also the eldest of the family's five sons. He regards the work his parents did raising their family with respect, a respect which is generalised to the work of parents. R: I look at my parents. I meanꢁ they ran a brilliant houseꢁ and we never wanted. Andꢁ I meanꢁ I can remember when Dad was eaꢃing 16 pound a week, and he had eight kids. And he had to clothe themꢁ feed them educate themꢁ pay off the house. On 16 pound a week, and they did it. . , To me the heroes of our society are the mums and dads. <ul style="display: flex;"><li style="flex:1">"</li><li style="flex:1">. . this was the start of the understanding of purpose. . </li></ul>"As a teenager in the 1960s, Ron was involved in the drug culture of 415 6b Ron's Stoꢇy the time. His ꢁp eꢄiences duꢄing thisphase of his life led him on a long and eventꢂl, although not always pleasant, jouꢄney in the physical and spiꢄitual sense. The ꢃouꢄnꢅ eventually led Ron back to his home ꢆountꢇ and town, and to the Chꢄistian faith. R: I was. . . basically right into the hippy thingꢁ and it was sex and ꢆꢇugs aꢅꢆ rock aꢅꢆ roll. And, umm, I travelleꢆ all over Asia and Australia andꢁ ummꢁ America and places. ꢄd at the end of thatꢁ inꢁ ummꢁ 1976, I fouꢅꢆ myself destitute on a beach in Noꢇthern Queenslanꢆꢁ by Towꢅsville. And so I went along to the local Sallys. . . the Salvation Armyꢁ to beg a feeꢆ aꢅꢆ shelter. ꢄd a conꢆition of getting a feed anꢆ shelter was that you had to do the ꢆrug anꢆ alcohol programme. Aꢅꢆ of courseꢁ it's actually quite a common stꢇategy among the people on the stꢇeetꢁ to actually go thꢇough these pꢇogrammes so that you caꢅ get a feed anꢆ a place to stay. And so all you do is you go aloꢅg and you say " Hallelujahꢈ and " Isn't it woꢅꢆeꢇꢀlꢈ and then you go away anꢆ get pisseꢆ [drunk] and then you come back the <ul style="display: flex;"><li style="flex:1">next night. </li><li style="flex:1">Anꢆ it's a suꢇvival mechanism anꢆ </li></ul>Iackꢅowledge that aꢅꢆ I thinkꢁ "Gooꢆ on ya; if that's how you suꢇvive then that's how you've gotta survive.ꢈ Anꢆ then when I came back to New Zealaꢅd I did feel right fꢇom the beginning that this was the start of the undeꢇstanding of purpose for me. That God haꢆ some puꢇpose iꢅ it. And I knew that I was, that there was a large elemeꢅt of being blessed by virtue of the fact that the Sallys were theꢇe; to give me shelter and food anꢆ puꢇposeꢁ aꢅd like something to do with my hands all dayꢁ anꢆꢁ and of 416 6b Ron's Story course being Salvation Anny, a lot of, umm, scriptural stuff; anꢆ the ꢀ [Alcoholics Anonymous] programme is a spiritual programme. So it started stirring the spiritual within me. ". ..we are.. . the living fa ce of our fa ther. . ." Roꢋ ꢌdeꢋtꢌfieꢉ ꢊ ꢋumbeꢄ of ꢁꢈ lꢌꢆꢌt hꢊꢈꢈeꢋꢌꢋgꢉ whꢌꢆh led hꢌm to wheꢄe he ꢌs woꢄkꢌꢋg ꢋow. Hꢌꢉ owꢋ hꢌꢉtoꢇ wꢌth dꢄugꢉ ꢊꢋd the hꢌꢈꢈy lꢌfeꢉyle ꢈꢄovꢌded a fo ꢄm of ꢁꢈ eꢄꢌeꢋtꢌꢊl tꢄꢊꢌꢋꢌꢋg ꢊꢋd uꢋdeꢄꢉtꢊꢋdꢌꢋg of the subꢉtꢊꢋꢆe ꢊbuꢉe ꢊꢄeꢊ, hꢌꢉ gꢄowꢌꢋg ꢉtꢄeꢋgth ꢌꢋ Chꢄꢌꢉtꢌꢊꢋꢌꢍ ꢊlꢉo led hꢌm to fe el, "the ꢆꢊllꢌꢋg to do the woꢄk " Howeveꢄ, ꢌt wꢊꢉ the deꢊth of hꢌꢉ fꢊ theꢄ whꢌꢆh gꢊve Roꢋ the ꢌmꢈetuꢉ ꢊꢋd motꢌvꢊtꢌoꢋ to 'ꢉettle dowꢋ ' ꢊꢋd to tꢊke hꢌꢉ ꢄole, ꢊꢉ hꢌꢉ fꢊ theꢄ's ꢉoꢋ ꢊꢋd ꢊꢉ the eldeꢉt mꢊle ꢌꢋ thꢊt lꢌꢋe, ꢉeꢄꢌouꢉly. When I came back to New Zealanꢆ, I felt the calling to do the work. Anꢆ I thought, " Well if I'm going to do it, I'ꢆ better go anꢆ get some training.ꢈ So I wrote to NSAD [National Society for Alcohol and Drugs], and at that time the Chief Executive anꢆ the, ahh, the Director, was a real character fella. . . anꢆ he saiꢆ, " Oh look, Ron, forget all that bloody intellectual crap. Come ꢆown here anꢆ I'll give you a job.ꢈ So there I was sort of, a week or two later, sitting in an office, ahh, counselling ꢆrug aꢆꢆicts. ꢁ, and about three months later I was actually running the methaꢆone clinic in the Wellington area. R: See what happeneꢆ is, umm. . . See my father ꢆied in 1986; up till that time I was footloose anꢆ fancy free, anꢆ I was a teenager in the 60s so I was basically getting to be an older hippy by that time. Anꢆ 417 6b Ron's Story that was really very much where I was at. Umm, and I tended to be wandering and all that. . Umm, and when Dad died, well obviously I 'm his eldest son and that. I actually found it extremely difficult after living a fancy free life and no commitments and that sort of thing; and it's probably been the very best thing that's ever happened to me because it's quietened me down. So you sort of had that responsibility of upholding the mana of your I: whanau after your father died? R: Yes, of course. Yeah. I: Did you sort of, did you feel that yourself? Or were you told that? Or. . . [interruption]. No, well my family, well my family, we're a family of real strong nuts; and no one can tell us anything, and unless we're actually committed from ourselves inside ourselves. Anyone can tell us anything and we'll just go and do exactly what we want to. Because it was something that came, it was something that I didn't actually seek; it just, like welled up inside me. It was important to do. I knew that I had to take Dad's place. Or me and my other brothers. I've got four brothers, so he had five sons and we are now the face of our father, the living face of our father. And it's really important for us to do that, I feel. This is what I was meant to do. There was something inside that connected me to my people which I had to express. R: 418 6b Ron's Story Raꢋ fꢖ ꢖls thꢎt thꢖ ꢋꢎtꢕꢏꢖ of hꢌsꢓꢎst, ꢎꢋd who hꢖ ꢌs, hꢎs lꢖd hꢌm to whꢖꢏꢖ hꢖ ꢌs ꢓꢏꢖsꢖꢋtly woꢏkꢌꢋg. Thꢖ ꢎꢏꢖꢎ ꢆovꢖꢏꢖd by thꢖ Lꢖvꢌꢋ Alꢆohol ꢎꢋd Dꢏꢕg Cꢖꢋtꢏꢖ ꢌꢋꢆlꢕdꢖs Raꢋ 's owꢋ tꢏꢌbꢎl boꢕꢋdꢎꢏꢌꢖs, so hꢖ ꢌs woꢏkꢌꢋg oꢋ hꢌs tꢕꢏꢎꢋgꢎwꢎꢖwꢎꢖ, ꢎmoꢋgst hꢌs owꢋ pꢖoꢓlꢖ. Iꢋ ꢎ sꢖꢋsꢖ, hꢖ ꢌs ꢎlso ꢋow ꢎblꢖ to ꢆꢎꢏꢐ thꢖ ꢏꢖspoꢋsꢌbꢌlꢌtꢌꢖs of wꢖꢎꢏꢌꢋg thꢖ mꢎꢋtlꢖ of lꢖꢎdꢖꢏshꢌp lꢖﬅ to hꢌm by hꢌsfꢎ thꢖꢏ. Raꢋ ꢎlso sꢖꢖs hꢌs woꢏk ꢎt thꢖ ꢆꢖꢋtꢏꢖ ꢎs ꢆlꢖꢎꢏly ꢆoꢋꢋꢖꢆtꢖd to thꢖ 'qꢕꢖst foꢏ mꢖꢎꢋꢌꢋg', whꢌꢆh hꢖ fꢖ ꢖls ꢆhꢎꢏꢎꢆtꢖꢏꢌsꢖd thꢖ hꢌꢓꢓ ꢌꢖ ꢓoꢏtꢌoꢋ of hꢌs lꢌfꢖ. Chꢏꢌstꢌꢎꢋꢌꢑ too hꢎs lꢖd Raꢋ to whꢖꢏꢖ hꢖ ꢌs ꢋow. Iꢋ ꢖffꢖꢆt, ꢎ ꢋꢕmbꢖꢏ of dꢌffꢖꢏꢖꢋt pꢎst ꢒꢓ ꢖꢏꢌꢖꢋcꢖs ꢎꢋd ꢓꢏꢖsꢖꢋt ꢎꢋd ꢔtꢕꢏꢖ ꢏꢖsꢓoꢋsꢌbꢌlꢌtꢌꢖs hꢎvꢖ lꢖd to Raꢋ 's ꢓlꢎꢆꢖmꢖꢋt ꢌꢋ hꢌs ꢓꢏꢖsꢖꢋt ꢓosꢌtꢌoꢋ. Thꢖ sꢓ ꢌꢏꢌtꢕꢎl ꢌꢋtꢖꢋtꢌoꢋꢎlꢌty of thꢖ pꢎth thꢎt hꢖ ꢌs oꢋ gꢌvꢖs Raꢋ ꢎ stꢏoꢋg ꢆoꢋvꢌꢆtꢌoꢋ ꢌꢋ hꢌs woꢏk. It was even quite strange when I came in here. The job that was advertisedꢁ it was for a A and D worker [Alcohol and Drug worker] and soꢁ aahhꢁ I came down here. Ummꢁ it could have been that the job went to anyoneꢁ a Chinamanꢁ a Dutchmanꢁ or anyone. But I got the job. And when I came in here I actually foundꢁ ummꢁ there was something inside me that connected me to my people which I had to express. R: I: Like " this is what I was meant to do?" R: Yeahꢁ no doubt. Absolutely no doubt at all. Yeah and that's been a hippie experience for me tooꢁ because you know that's really what the whole hippie experience was aboutꢁ you knowꢁ looking forꢁ you knowꢁ " What is God? What is the universe? Who are we? Why are we here? ". I meanꢁ that was the buzz about being with those kinds of 419 6b Ron's Story people was because that was the whole ambience, I mean that was the whole thing about why we were there. I mean we were really quite hedonistic and irresponsible but at the same time everyone had that question in their hearts. And this was the answer that came to me and I know that I've settled and become really quite rock solid. I know people like my boss, umm, you know he reckons I 'm the hardest nut he's ever met. And it's kind of that steely insideness that says, " No, I am who I am, and you have to deal with that. Any problems you've got to do with that is your problem. I know who I am and what I 've got to do; so you know your problems are your problems you deal with that; don't come and try and lay it on me because that's the way I am." That's what I was put here for, I believe that's what God put me here for. Ae. I: So that's a really strong spiritual base underlying what you're doing and why you're doing it? R: Oh yes, yes without a doubt yes. And that's the same for all of us here. " . . . there was no major clashes between the two systems. . ." Chꢏꢌꢉtꢗꢎꢋꢌꢑ ꢌꢉ ꢎ mꢎꢃoꢏ fo ꢏꢆꢖ ꢌꢋ Roꢋ 'ꢉ lꢌfꢖ ꢎꢋd ꢌꢋ hꢗꢉ woꢏk. Roꢋ doꢖꢉ ꢋot ꢉꢖꢖ hꢌꢉ Chꢏꢌꢉtꢗꢎꢋ ꢉpꢌꢏꢌtꢕꢎl ꢘpꢏꢖꢉꢉꢌoꢋ ꢎꢉ ꢆlꢎꢉhꢌꢋg wꢌth hꢗꢉ Mꢎoꢏꢌ ꢉpꢌꢏꢌtꢕꢎl bꢖlꢌꢖfꢉ. 420 6b Ron's Story R: I have to say that I'm Christian and strongly influenced. And I don't see that as clashing at all with Maori. Umm, to me the reason that Christianity was so readily accepted by our old people was that there was no major clashes between the two systems. The expression of it unfortunately has been very bad for us. The actual spirituality as expressed in the scriptures, umm, I believe sat very well with the Maori <ul style="display: flex;"><li style="flex:1">understanding of the spiritual values. </li><li style="flex:1">It's been the </li></ul>application and the way that, umm, the Europeans. . . I mean. . . Christianity is not actually a European religion, it's a middle-Eastern, an Arab, ahhh, a Semitic religion, not a, not a, not a European one at all. Ahh, but they kind of grabbed it and called it their own and imposed all their own cultural values and biases on it and so we have these things like the, umm, Protestant Work Ethic, you know. Well I don't know whether all the Arabs would agree with that, but, umm, they think it fits in so then they come over and impose it on us. This (indicating the Centre) is a church. . . it is a spiritual body of people. ꢙꢌlꢖ Rꢝꢋ dꢌd ꢋꢝt ꢠꢖꢖ ꢣꢌꢠ ꢓꢖꢏꢠꢝꢋꢎl ꢠꢓꢌꢏꢌtꢕꢎl bꢖlꢌꢖfꢠꢚ ꢌꢋ ꢓꢎꢏtꢌꢆꢕlꢎꢏ tꢣꢝꢠꢖ bꢎꢠꢖd ꢌꢋ Mꢎꢝꢏꢌ ꢠꢓꢌꢏꢌtꢕꢎlꢌꢑꢚ ꢎꢠ ꢆlꢎꢠꢣꢌꢋg wꢌtꢣ Cꢣꢏꢌꢠtꢌꢎꢋꢌꢑꢛ tꢣꢌꢠ vꢌꢖw wꢎꢠ ꢋꢝt ꢠꢣꢎꢏꢖd by tꢣꢖ ꢖꢠtꢎblꢌꢠꢣꢖd ꢆꢣꢕꢏꢆꢣꢖꢠ ꢣꢖ ꢣꢎd bꢖꢖꢋ ꢌꢋvꢝlvꢖd ꢌꢋ. Rꢝꢋ ꢒꢓꢖꢏꢌꢖꢋꢆꢖd ꢆꢝꢋdꢖmꢋꢎtꢌꢝꢋ ꢜꢝm tꢣꢖ ꢆꢣꢕꢏꢆꢣꢖꢠ fꢝ ꢏ tꢣꢖꢠꢖ ꢎꢠꢓꢖꢆtꢠ ꢝf ꢣꢌꢠ ꢠꢓꢌꢏꢌtꢕꢎlꢌꢑꢞ Rꢝꢋ ꢋꢝw lꢌvꢖꢠ ꢣꢌꢠ fꢎ ꢌtꢣ ꢌꢋ ꢎ ꢓꢖꢏꢠꢝꢋꢎl wꢎyꢛ ꢝꢕtꢠꢌdꢖ ꢎꢋy ꢆꢣꢕꢏꢆꢣ ꢟꢠtꢖmꢡ Tꢣꢌꢠ ꢒꢓ ꢖꢏꢌꢖꢋꢆꢖ ꢓꢖꢏꢣꢎꢓꢠ ꢆꢝꢋtꢏꢌbꢕtꢖꢠ tꢝ Rꢝꢋ 'ꢠ ꢢꢒꢌbꢌlꢌꢑ ꢏꢖgꢎꢏdꢌꢋg tꢣꢖ ꢋꢎtꢕꢏꢖ ꢝf ꢠꢓꢌꢏꢌtꢕꢎl bꢖlꢌꢖf ꢎꢋd ꢒꢓꢏꢖꢠꢠꢌꢝꢋ. ꢙꢌlꢖ Cꢣꢏꢌꢠtꢌꢎꢋꢌꢑ ꢏꢖmꢎꢌꢋꢠ ꢆꢖꢋtꢏꢎl ꢌꢋ ꢣꢌꢠ ꢝwꢋ lꢌfꢖꢚ ꢣꢖ ꢌꢠ ꢎꢆꢆꢖꢓtꢌꢋg ꢝf ꢝtꢣꢖꢏ ꢠꢓꢌꢏꢌtꢕꢎl bꢖlꢌꢖfꢠ ꢡ Wꢝꢏkꢖꢏꢠ ꢎt Tꢖ 421 6b Ron's Story Arahina Vare a range of spiritual beliꢀs. In Ron's view, it is the sharing, living and ꢁpression of spiritualiꢂ that makes a (real church'. He finds this at Te Arahina Oraꢅ his worꢃlace. I'm anti-church I might say...when I talked to the friggin people down there [at the local church] they all started casting out friggin demons and praying for me and laying on hands... So, so...umm, I couldn't live in the church system. ꢀd we see, actually what we do here [Te Arahina Ora] as being, this is a church. .. it's a spiritual body of people; and this I believe is the real church. I'm not a member of them [churches] any more. Because, for the reason that my needs were not. .. I was not able to express my spirituality in them. R: "... the spirit is purposeful. .." As previously outlinedꢅ purposeꢄlnessꢅ or intentionaliꢆꢅ is an important part of Ron's understanding of the nature of Godꢅ the spiritꢅ and his own place in God's spiritual plan. This is the way that Ron understands meaning in terms of his own lifeꢅ and this is an understanding that he encourages in his clients also. The spiritualiꢆ of clientsꢅ thereforeꢅ is a significant dimension for Ronꢅ and his attitudes towards spiritual beliefs that differ ꢇom his own are a lot more ꢈꢁible and open than the churches he was associated with. R: <ul style="display: flex;"><li style="flex:1">I</li><li style="flex:1">like to acknowledge </li><li style="flex:1">a</li><li style="flex:1">person's own spiritual </li></ul>understandings. I think the spirit is purposeful, and God is 422 6b Ron's Story ꢉurꢉoseꢊl in these things, and it's like the scriꢉtures sayꢁ " These tests aren't sent to destroy usꢁ they're actually to make us strongꢏꢈ Aꢠ pꢎꢏt ꢝf ꢣꢗꢠ ꢠpꢗꢏꢌtꢕꢎl ꢘp ꢏꢖꢠꢠꢗꢝꢋ, Rꢝꢋ fꢝ llꢝwꢠ ꢎ ꢠꢖlfꢦ ꢠꢖt pꢏꢝꢨꢏꢎm ꢝf pꢏꢎyꢖꢏ ꢎꢋd mꢖdꢌtꢎtꢌꢝꢋ. Tꢣꢌꢠ pꢏꢖpꢎꢏꢖꢠ ꢣꢌm fꢝ ꢏ tꢣꢖ dꢎy ꢎꢣꢖꢎd ꢎꢋd tꢣꢖ wꢝꢏk ꢣꢖ ꢗꢠ ꢎbꢝꢕt tꢝ dꢝ. I do a lot of medꢍtation and ꢉrayer as ꢉart of ꢌyꢁ uꢋꢁ the way I live. I do basically an hour or a couꢉle of hours in the ꢌoꢂꢍngꢁ because I think that's really ꢍꢌꢉortant for me; it establishes my ꢉolarity. So that when I coꢌe ꢍn here I'm sort of ꢉoꢍntꢍng ꢍn the rꢍght dꢍrectꢍon ꢍf you know what I mean? R: A mꢎꢃꢝꢏ ꢎꢠpꢖꢆt ꢝf Rꢝꢋ 'ꢠ ꢆꢝꢋꢆꢖptꢗꢝꢋ ꢝf ꢣꢌmꢠꢖlf ꢆꢖꢋtꢏꢖꢠ ꢎꢏꢝꢕꢋd ꢣꢌꢠ ꢌdꢖꢋtꢌꢑ ꢎꢠ ꢎ ꢠp ꢌꢏꢌtꢕꢎl bꢖꢗꢋꢨꢛ ꢎꢋd ꢎ Cꢣꢏꢗꢠtꢌꢎꢋꢡ A fꢖ ꢎtꢕꢏꢖ ꢝf ꢣꢌꢠ ꢃꢝꢕꢤꢥ ꢗꢋtꢝ ꢠꢖlfꢦꢎwꢎꢏꢖꢋꢖꢠꢠ ꢎꢋd ꢠꢖlfꢦꢎꢆꢆꢖptꢎꢋꢆꢖ ꢌꢋvꢝlvꢖd ꢆꢝmꢌꢋꢨ tꢝ tꢖꢏmꢠ wꢌtꢣ ꢣꢌmꢠꢖlf ꢎꢠ ꢎ wꢣꢝlꢖ pꢖꢏꢠꢝꢋ, ꢌꢋꢆlꢕdꢌꢋꢨ tꢣꢖ ꢨꢝꢝd ꢎꢋd tꢣꢖ bꢎd, tꢣꢖ lꢗꢨꢣt ꢎꢋd tꢣꢖ dꢎꢏk ꢖlꢖmꢖꢋtꢠ ꢆꢝꢦꢧꢌꢠtꢌꢋꢨ wꢌtꢣꢌꢋꢡ I' <ul style="display: flex;"><li style="flex:1">R: </li><li style="flex:1">My life as a druggy was ꢉretty bloody filthy and awfulꢁ you </li></ul>know? It was a tyꢉical bloody user's life. And ꢍt wasꢁ I meanꢁ sex and drugs and rock and roll, I mean that's really all it was. It was animalꢁ cruelꢁ uꢎꢏ And so I was acutely aware of that Iꢁ uꢎꢁ I know now that that was my shadowꢁ 423 6b Ron's Story my dark side; and I don't have to work in it. It's still a ꢉart of me and I've had to leaꢂ to embrace it and acceꢉt it as being as much a ꢉart of me as my light sideꢏ Aꢆꢆꢖptꢌnꢨ ꢣꢌꢠ ꢩꢎꢏk ꢠꢌꢩꢖ, ꢣꢌꢠ ꢠꢣꢎꢩꢝwꢛ ꢎꢫꢝnꢨ wꢌtꢣ ꢣꢌꢠ ꢫꢌꢨꢣt ꢠꢌꢩꢖ ꢣꢎꢠ bꢖꢖn ꢎ mꢎꢃꢝꢏ ꢌꢠꢠꢕꢖ fꢝ ꢏ Rꢝn. Hꢖ ꢣꢎꢠ ꢣꢎꢩ ꢎn ꢝnꢨꢝꢌnꢨ bꢎttꢫꢖ wꢌtꢣ tꢣꢌꢠ fꢎ ꢆꢖt ꢌn ꢣꢌmꢠꢖꢫf; mꢎnꢌfꢖꢠtꢖꢩ ꢌn tꢣꢖ ꢩꢌꢪꢆꢕꢫꢬ ꢣꢖ ꢣꢎꢠ ꢠꢝmꢖtꢌmꢖꢠ ꢣꢎꢩ ꢌn ꢠꢖꢖꢌnꢨ ꢣꢌmꢠꢖꢫf ꢎꢠ ꢎ ꢯꢎꢫꢕꢎbꢫꢖ ꢎnꢩ wꢝꢏtꢣwꢣꢌꢫꢖ pꢖꢏꢠꢝn. Tꢣꢖ ꢆꢝnꢢꢌꢆt ꢣꢖ ꢣꢎꢩ wꢌtꢣ tꢣꢖ ꢆꢣꢎꢏꢌꢠmꢎtꢌꢆ ꢆꢣꢕꢏꢆꢣ mꢝꢯꢖmꢖnt ꢏꢖꢌnfꢝ ꢏꢆꢖꢩ ꢎꢠpꢖꢆtꢠ ꢝf Rꢝn'ꢠ ꢝwn nꢖꢨꢎtꢌꢯꢖ ꢠꢖꢫf-pꢖꢏꢆꢖptꢌꢝnꢠ. Hꢝwꢖꢯꢖꢏꢛ ꢌt wꢎꢠ ꢣꢌꢠfꢎ ꢌtꢣ ꢌn Gꢝꢩꢛ tꢣꢖ ꢌnfꢎꢫꢫꢌbꢌꢫꢌꢑ ꢝfGꢝꢩ'ꢠ pꢕꢏpꢝꢠꢖꢛ ꢎnꢩ ꢣꢌmꢠꢖꢫfꢎꢠ ꢎ ꢆꢏꢖꢎtꢌꢝn ꢝf Gꢝꢩꢛ tꢣꢎt ꢖnꢎbꢫꢖꢩ ꢣꢌm tꢝ ꢏꢖcꢝꢯꢖꢏ ꢜꢝm ꢣꢌꢠ nꢖꢨꢎtiꢯꢖ ꢖnꢆꢝꢕntꢖꢏꢠ wꢌtꢣ tꢣꢖ ꢆꢣꢕꢏꢆꢣ. " I !One of the things I've struck myself has been my own identityꢁ and in terms of my own worthꢏ Andꢁ ummꢁ of course with the charismatic church exꢉerienceꢁ it just totally reinforced my utter worthlessnessꢁ my fundamental flawednessꢁ ahꢁ without an acknowledgement of the ꢉerfection of God's creation; and that's where theyꢁ they sort of go off the track a bit. That God has a ꢉerfect ꢉurꢉoseꢁ even if it's flawed in it'sꢁ uꢎꢁ in it's ahꢁ genesis and develoꢉment. R: ꢙꢖn Rꢝn ꢠpꢖꢎꢭ ꢝf ꢌꢩꢖntꢌꢬꢛ ꢣꢖ ꢠpꢖꢎꢭ ꢌn tꢖꢏmꢠ ꢝf ꢆꢝnnꢖꢆtꢖꢩnꢖꢠꢠꢛ ꢝfꢆꢝntꢘtꢮ Hꢌꢠ ꢠꢖnꢠꢖ ꢝfꢣꢌmꢠꢖꢫfꢌꢠ ꢯꢖꢇ tꢌꢖꢩ ꢌntꢝ ꢆꢝnnꢖꢆtꢌꢝnꢞ R: You knowꢁ one of the good things aboutꢁ ummmꢁ coming 424 6b Ron's Story into your own identity isꢁ all of what other ꢉeoꢉle call your hang-uꢉs and your negative thingsꢁ they're no longer issuesꢁ because that'sꢁ because they are ꢉart of the ꢉath that God ꢉut me on to grow me into what he wants me to be. They have context. When the Pakehas striꢉꢉed the trees off the land they striꢉꢉed the historical continuityꢏ Because the tree. . . you could go to the tree where your father talked to his father, talked to his fatherꢁ talked to his fatherꢁ talked to his father. ꢏ .ꢁ way back through the years, and so there was a ꢉhysical. . . soꢌething I can see with my eyes and touch and feel. . ꢏ that connected me with that man seven, eight, nine, ten generations ago. So it brought into reality the fact that I aꢌ actually ꢉart of a whole. Not some sort of accidental, " Mum forgot her ꢉill." Aꢋ ꢌmpꢝꢏtꢎꢋt ꢎꢠpꢖꢆt ꢝf Raꢋ 'ꢠ ꢠꢖꢋꢠꢖ ꢝf ꢠꢖꢫf ꢫꢌꢖꢠ ꢌꢋ ꢣꢌꢠ pꢫꢎꢆꢖ ꢎꢠ Mꢕꢎꢕpꢝkꢝꢛ ꢎꢋꢩ ꢌꢋ pꢎꢏtꢌꢆꢕꢫꢎꢏꢛ ꢎꢠ ꢣꢌꢠ fꢎ tꢣꢖꢏ'S ꢠꢝꢋ. Wꢣꢖꢋ Raꢋ bꢖꢨꢎꢋ wꢝꢏkꢌꢋꢨ ꢎt Tꢖ Aꢏꢎꢣꢌꢋꢎ Oꢏꢎꢛ ꢣꢖ ꢒpꢖꢏꢌꢖꢋꢆꢖꢩ ꢠꢝmꢖtꢣꢌꢋꢨ ꢝf ꢎꢋ 'ꢎwꢎkꢖꢋꢌꢋꢨ' ꢝf ꢣꢌꢠ Mꢎ ꢝꢏꢌ ꢌꢩꢖꢋtꢌꢬꢡ Tꢣꢖ pꢏꢝꢆꢖꢠꢠ ꢣꢖ wꢖꢋt tꢣꢏꢝꢕꢨꢣ wꢎꢠ pꢎꢌꢋfuꢫ fꢝ ꢏ ꢣꢌm ꢎꢋꢩ fꢝ ꢏ ꢝtꢣꢖꢏꢠ ꢎꢏꢝꢕꢋꢩ ꢣꢌm. Aꢠ Raꢋ ꢩꢖꢠꢆꢏꢌbꢖꢠ ꢌtꢛ tꢣꢖ ꢒpꢖꢏꢌꢖꢋꢆꢖ ꢎppꢖꢎꢏꢠ tꢝ ꢣꢎꢯꢖ bꢖꢖꢋ fꢖ ꢫt ꢌꢋ tꢖꢏmꢠ ꢝf <ul style="display: flex;"><li style="flex:1">'ꢆꢝꢋꢋꢖꢆtꢖꢩꢋꢖꢠꢠ 'ꢛ </li><li style="flex:1">ꢎ</li><li style="flex:1">'wꢖꢫꢫꢌꢋꢨ ꢕp ' ꢝf fꢖꢖꢫꢌꢋꢨ. Raꢋ ꢩꢖꢠꢆꢏꢌbꢖꢠ </li></ul>ꢒpꢖꢏꢌꢖꢋꢆꢌꢋꢨ ꢎꢋ ꢌꢋꢌtꢌꢎꢫ ꢏꢖꢠꢌꢠtꢎꢋꢆꢖꢛ ꢎꢋꢩ tꢣꢖꢋꢛ fiꢋꢩꢌꢋꢨ ꢌt futꢌꢫꢖ tꢝ ꢏꢖꢠꢌꢠtꢛ ꢎ ꢨꢌꢯꢌꢋꢨ ꢌꢋ tꢝ tꢣꢖ ꢌmpꢖꢏꢎtꢌꢯꢖ ꢌꢋꢠꢌꢩꢖ ꢣꢌm. Lꢖꢎꢏꢋꢌꢋꢨ tꢝ ꢒpꢏꢖꢠꢠ ꢣꢌꢠ ꢋꢖw ꢠꢖꢋꢠꢖ ꢝf ꢣꢌmꢠꢖꢫf ꢌꢋ ꢎ wꢎy tꢣꢎt ꢩꢌꢩ ꢋꢝt ꢖꢋtꢎꢌꢫ ꢆꢝꢋflꢌꢆt wꢌtꢣ ꢣꢌmꢠꢖꢫf ꢝꢏ ꢝtꢣꢖꢏꢠꢛ wꢎꢠ ꢌtꢠꢖꢫf ꢎ pꢏꢝꢆꢖꢠꢠ tꢣꢎt tꢝꢝk ꢠꢝmꢖ tꢌmꢖ. When I came ꢀI here I actually found, uꢌmꢁ there was R: 425 6b Ron's Story something inside me that connected me to my ꢉeoꢉle which I had to exꢉress. Andꢐ in factꢐ I went through quite a lot of struggles and ꢉain and a fair amount of conflict with others in the building as well asꢏ . . that was like I couldn't control it in a senseꢐ it just welled uꢉ and I couldn't deny it. And the harder I denied itꢁ the more ratty. . . and I was hard to be with and argumentativeꢐ and the whole lot; until I actually acknowledged it and started to exꢉress it. And first of all I exꢉressed it very aggressively and in a way that caused conflictꢐ and it's as I've come to feel more comfortable with itꢐ basically I suꢉꢉose I've matured into it moreꢐ ummꢐ I've become more able to. . . Probably as my identity has become more secureꢐ it's less imꢉortant to. . . I don't necessarily need to slaꢉ you down and tramꢉ on you for me to feel secure. Mꢎꢝꢄꢌ lꢎꢋꢨꢕꢎꢨꢖ wꢎꢠ ꢋꢝt ꢠpꢝkꢖꢋ ꢌꢋ Raꢋ 'ꢠ pꢎꢄꢖꢋtꢠ' ꢣꢝmꢖꢮ Tꢣꢖ ꢆꢣꢌlꢩꢄꢖꢋ wꢖꢄꢖ ꢖꢋꢆꢝꢕꢄꢎꢨꢖꢩ tꢝ ꢎꢩꢝpt Pꢎkꢖꢣꢎ wꢎyꢠꢚ ꢎꢋꢩ tꢝ mꢎꢠtꢖꢄ Wꢖꢠtꢖꢤ ꢠkꢌllꢠꢮ Wꢣꢌlꢖ Raꢋ ꢩꢌꢩ ꢋꢝt ꢣꢎꢯꢖ tꢣꢖ ꢝppꢝꢄtꢕꢋꢌꢑ tꢝ lꢖꢎꢤ tꢝ ꢠpꢖꢎk Mꢎꢝꢄꢌ, ꢣꢖ ꢣꢎꢠ ꢋꢝtꢌꢆꢖꢩ tꢣꢎt ꢣꢌꢠ ꢠpꢖeꢆꢣ pꢎttꢖꢤꢠ ꢌꢋ Eꢋꢨlꢌꢠꢣꢛ ꢎꢄꢖ ꢠꢌmꢌlꢎꢄ tꢝ tꢣꢖ ꢠꢑlꢖ ꢝf ꢠꢓꢝkꢖꢋ Mꢎꢝꢏꢌꢮ Raꢋ lꢌꢋks ꢣꢌꢠ ꢝwꢋ tꢖꢋꢩꢖꢋꢆy fꢝ ꢄ mꢖtꢎpꢣꢝꢄꢌꢆꢎl ꢠꢓꢖꢖꢆꢣ tꢝ ꢎꢋ 'ꢌꢋꢋꢎtꢖ' fꢎ ꢆtꢝꢄꢛ ꢌt ꢌꢠ ꢠꢝmꢖtꢣꢌꢋꢨ ꢌꢋbꢝꢄꢋ ꢎꢋꢩ ꢋꢎtꢕꢄꢎl tꢝ ꢣꢌmꢮ R: . ꢏ . the language sꢉoken in the home in childhood was allꢐ uꢎꢐ English. My father had come through that school where the only way to go was to get the Pakeha knowledge and the ꢉiece of ꢉaꢉer and to sꢉeak English and to succeed in the Pakeha worldꢏ And that was hisꢐ ahꢐ uꢉbringingꢁ ahꢐ 426 6b Ron's Story his conditioning. I have no fluency in Te Reoꢁ I have a bit of vocab. but I've got no understanding of the structure of it. Ummꢁ although I believe in a lot of ways I sꢉeak, like my sꢉeech ꢉatteꢃs in English are actually quite Maori. . . innately. Because I do tend towards the metaꢉhoricalꢁ the allegorical rather than theꢁ ahꢁ theꢁ whichever side of the brain is mechanical and linearꢁ uꢋꢁ I'ꢌ more on the other side of theꢁ ummꢁ the cosꢌicꢁ and the ꢌetaꢉhor and the allegory in my own sꢉeaking. That's how I like to sꢉeak. Rꢝꢋ ꢯꢖꢐ mꢕꢆꢣ wꢎꢋtꢠ tꢝ ꢫꢖꢎꢄꢋ mꢝꢄꢖ Mꢎꢝꢄꢌ ꢫꢎꢋꢨꢕꢎꢨꢖ ꢎꢋꢩ ꢌꢠ bꢖꢨꢌꢋꢋꢌꢋꢨ ꢫꢖꢠꢠꢝꢋꢠꢮ Hꢖ ꢠꢖꢖꢠ ꢫꢖꢎꢄꢋꢌꢋꢨ lꢖ ꢄꢖꢝ Mꢎꢝꢄꢌ ꢎꢠ ꢎꢋ ꢌmꢓꢝꢄtꢎꢋt ꢠtꢖꢓ tꢝwꢎꢄꢩꢠ ꢨꢎꢌꢋꢌꢋꢨ ꢎ ꢩꢖꢖꢓ ꢕꢋꢩꢖꢄꢠtꢎꢋꢩꢌꢋꢨ ꢝfMꢎꢝꢄꢌ ꢆꢝꢋꢆꢖꢓtꢠ; ꢎꢋꢩ ꢣꢖ ꢣꢎꢠ ꢠꢖꢖꢋ tꢣꢖ tꢄꢎꢋꢠfꢝꢄmꢎtꢌꢝꢋ ꢝf Mꢎꢝꢄꢌ ꢓꢖꢝꢓꢫꢖ wꢣꢝ ꢣꢎꢯꢖ ꢣꢎꢩ tꢣꢖ ꢝꢓꢓꢝꢄtꢕꢋꢌꢑ tꢝ ꢫꢖꢎꢤ tꢣꢖꢌꢄ ꢝwꢋ ꢫꢎꢋꢨꢕꢎꢨꢖꢮ Rꢝꢋ ꢋꢝtꢖꢠ tꢣꢎt ꢣꢖ ꢣꢎꢠ ꢎ tꢖꢋꢩꢖꢋꢆy tꢝ 'ꢫꢝꢝk ꢕꢓ tꢝ' ꢓꢖꢝꢓꢫꢖ wꢣꢝ ꢆꢎꢋ ꢠꢓꢖꢎk tꢣꢖ ꢫꢎꢋꢨꢕꢎꢨꢖꢮ Pꢖꢄꢣꢎꢓꢠ tꢣꢌꢠ ꢌꢠ bꢖꢆꢎꢕꢠꢖ ꢝf ꢣꢌꢠ ꢓꢖꢄꢆꢖꢓtꢌꢝꢋ tꢣꢎt tꢣꢖꢌꢄ ꢆꢝꢋꢆꢖꢓtꢌꢝꢋꢠ ꢎꢋꢩ ꢕꢋꢩꢖꢄꢠtꢎꢋꢩꢌꢋꢨ ꢝf tꢣꢖmꢠꢖꢫꢯꢖꢠꢚ ꢝtꢣꢖꢄꢠ ꢎꢋꢩ tꢣꢖ wꢝꢄꢫꢩ ꢎꢄꢝꢕꢋꢩ tꢣꢖm mꢎyꢛ ꢌꢋ Mꢎꢝꢄꢌ tꢖꢄmꢠꢚ bꢖ mꢝꢄꢖ ꢠꢝꢓꢣꢌꢠtꢌꢆꢎtꢖꢩꢚ ꢩꢖꢖꢓꢖꢄꢛ ꢝꢄ ꢆꢫꢖꢎꢄꢖꢄ tꢣꢎꢋ ꢣꢌꢠ ꢝwꢋꢮ We've just nowꢁ ahꢁ and we're really just sort ofjacking uꢉ the tiꢌe of dayꢁ have got a Maori elder in who's going to do te reo with us. Ahhꢁ and this is a man who has actually worked very successfully with clients in jail. And he's used a transforꢌation through language ꢉrocess. Umm, by teaching theꢌ the language and then develoꢉing the R: 427 6b Ron's Story conceꢉts that that language exꢉressesꢁ he's acually initiated the ꢉrocess of transformation in theꢁ in theꢁ ahꢁ ꢉrisoners. And it's something brilliant. It's soꢌething brilliant. I ꢉrobably tend to ꢉut ꢉeoꢉle who have the language and an understanding of the culture and Maori conceꢉtsꢁ ummꢁ uꢉ ahead of ꢌe. Ahhꢁ because that's what Iꢁ ahhꢁ that's where I want to get to ꢌyself in time. Tꢣꢖ ꢌꢩꢖꢎ ꢝf 'ꢌꢋꢋꢎtꢖꢋꢖꢉꢉ ', ꢝf ꢎꢋ ꢌꢋbꢝꢏꢋ ꢋꢎtꢕꢏꢎꢫ tꢖꢋꢩꢖꢋꢆy ꢝꢏ ꢎbꢌꢫꢌꢑꢰ ꢆꢝmꢖꢉ tꢣꢏꢝꢕꢨꢣ ꢎꢨꢎꢌꢋ wꢣꢖꢋ Rꢝꢋ ꢉpꢖꢎkꢉ ꢝf ꢣꢌꢉ fꢖ ꢖꢫꢌꢋꢨꢉ ꢎbꢝꢕt tꢌkꢎꢋꢨꢎ Mꢎꢝꢏꢌ ꢎꢋꢩ mꢎtꢎꢕꢏꢎꢋꢨꢎ Mꢎꢝꢏꢌ. Rꢝꢋ ꢩꢌꢉtꢌꢋꢨꢕꢌꢉꢣꢖꢉ bꢖtwꢖꢖꢋ ꢘpꢫꢌꢆꢌt, fꢎ ꢆtꢕꢎꢫꢦꢱpꢖ kꢋꢝwꢫꢖꢩꢨꢖ ꢌꢋ tꢣꢖꢉꢖ ꢎꢏꢖꢎꢉ, ꢎꢋꢩ ꢌmpꢫꢌꢆꢌt, fꢖ ꢫt ꢝꢏ ꢌꢋtꢕꢌtꢌꢯꢖ kꢋꢝwꢫꢖꢩꢨꢖ. I feel very coꢌfortable with them [tikanga Maoriꢁ Maori traditional and custoꢌary ways of doing things based on Maori ꢉhilosoꢉhy and understandings]ꢁ ꢌy discoꢌfort is with ꢌy lack of knowledge. Ae. And I'm uncoꢌfortable in thatꢁ umꢌꢁ I may inadvertently offend orꢁ umꢌꢁ do soꢌething which may not be healthyꢁ ummꢁ because I'ꢌ ignorant. That's my discomfort. But in terms of what the values that are exꢉressedꢁ ummꢁ the cultureꢁ the sꢉirituality. . . they fit like a well-worn shoe. They're an old boot on my footꢁ literally. Ummꢁ well I work a lot onꢁ ummꢁ it's sort of like in ꢌe. I mean totally on the intuitive level. I think intuitively I have a lot of that [ꢌatauranga Maori]. I don't consciously have a lot of it.

APPENDICES 6B Ron's Story

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