The Catholic Commentator | September 5, 2012 YOUR CATHOLIC WEDDING Preparing for the sacrament of marriage in the Diocese of Baton Rouge page 10B Marriage unites couples as well as their families page 3B Social media: the something new in today’s weddings page 5B What you won’t see or hear at a Catholic wedding ceremony page 9B 2B The Catholic Commentator WEDDING September 5, 2012 New wedding traditions begin as old ones keep their place By Laura Deavers Editor Weddings are all about tradition, from what the bride, groom and their attendants wear to the wed- ding service and what takes place at the reception following the ceremony. As times change and peo- ple’s lives take new direction, some traditions go by the wayside and others take their place. Dancing has become an important part of the wedding reception, from the first dance of the newly During the wedding of Adrienne Milner Heib and Jona- married couple, to the bride and her father taking than Heib, Patricia and Richard Holder, left, the bride’s ma- the floor while the groom dances with his mother, ternal grandparents, and Perry and Carolin Milner, the to the money dance when guests pin money on the bride’s paternal grandparents, are the last two couples bride’s dress and the groom’s tux as they dance with dancing during the wedding reception dance to identify them. the longest married couple. The Milners received this dis- Another wedding tradition is the bride throwing tinction of the highest number of years since they will cel- her bouquet to all of the single women at the recep- ebrate 47 years of marriage in January. Photo provided by Carolin tion who have grouped together. The tradition holds Milner that the woman who catches the bouquet will be the Many wedding traditions center around the bridal bouquet. next to marry. All married couples are asked to join in the dance. While some brides follow the traditional practice of tossing With fewer single women available to catch the Couples are asked to sit down as years of marriage the bouquet to the single women attending the wedding, bouquet, brides have started new traditions. One are called out. The last couple dancing is the one that others are starting new traditions. Photo by Debbie Shelley | The Catho- of these is to recognize the couples at the reception has been married the longest. The bride then pres- lic Commentator who have been married for many years. ents her bouquet to the couple. September 5, 2012 WEDDING The Catholic Commentator 11B3B Marriage unites couples as well as their families By Liz O’Connor ginning of a relationship may be quickly Catholic News Service forgotten, but they become problems later on. LEVITTOWN, Pa. – As newly married In his own Hispanic community, Father couples get ready to spend their lives to- Garcia said, adult children are expected gether they soon realize they are not just to continue to take responsibility for their gaining a spouse but a whole new set of parents and siblings. For a good marriage, family members. it’s important that there be a general un- Marriage experts urge couples to get to derstanding ahead of time that parents know the family they are marrying into for will take a back seat to the primacy of the clues about their spouse, a sense of future marriage relationship, so that couples can family responsibilities and even to tap into work things out “without the orchestra of potential support. Father Guillermo Gar- the family playing in the background.” cia, assistant professor of religious studies It’s also important for couples to know at Mount St. Mary’s College in Los Ange- their in-laws so they can understand each les, said it’s important for couples thinking other, he said. about marriage to see how the prospective “I am convinced that we parent as we partner reacts with his or her family of ori- were parented,” Father Garcia said, adding gin. that it is helpful to “build a bond of friend- “We fall in love, and it’s a little like get- ship and frankness with one’s spouse’s CNS GRAPHIC 2012 ting married ‘under the influence,’ ’’ he parents.” joked. Irritations that come up at the be- Donna Tonrey, director of the marriage and family therapy program at LaSalle The “default” setting tends to be “Well, in can be incredibly helpful. The biggest pitfall comes University in Philadelphia, said one of the my family” but that way of doing things “They’re the people you lean on most most important elements of beginning a may not work for the new family formed by when you’re in need,” he said. up when a spouse feels good marriage is for each of the parties to the couple. The biggest pitfall, he said, comes up have a good understanding of his or her Today’s couples are less likely to know when a spouse feels neglected because his neglected because his family of origin. their in-laws well than couples in years or her partner is too connected to a parent Understanding the impact that their past who married within the communities or other family member. To avoid this situ- or her partner is too families had on who they are makes them where they grew up, said Gail Risch who ation, he advises couples to set up bound- better able “to foster emotional growth as teaches Christian ethics and theology of aries even around simple things such as connected to a parent or individuals and as a couple,” and she said a Christian marriage at Creighton Univer- telling parents to call before they come couple can’t do one without the other. sity in Omaha, Neb. over to visit. other family member. The most common pitfall she sees for Although in-laws tend to get a bad On a more positive note, Browning said newly married couples is when one or both reputation, Scott Browning, a psychol- that grandchildren are an incredible elixir, All Your WeddingScott Browning Occasions members process whatever’s happening ogy professor at Chestnut Hill College often smoothing over rough spots that may Professor at Chestnut Hill College in Philadelphia through their own experience of family. in Philadelphia, points out that they have existed between in-laws and spouses. From the news of your engagement to the celebration of the "I do's" CateredPies, cookies,in our NEWLY ice remodeled cream step banquet in onfacility wedding cakes’ reign or yourBy special Carol Zimmermann place! desserts are quietly joining the or for some reason, they smash Catholic News Service party. Twenty percent prefer a this cake in each other’s faces. groom’s cake – a Southern tra- Many wedding books and WASHINGTON – The tried dition that is often chocolate – well-meaning relatives urge cou- and true white-tiered wedding while 14 percent chose candy and ples to save a piece of their wed- All Your Wedding Occasions Themedcake – a dinnerlongtime buffets-greattradition at 13 forpercent bachelor preferred andcupcakes. bacheloretteding cake parties in the freezer to enjoy From the news of your engagement most wedding receptions – might Wedding cakes, with their on their first anniversary. Romanticbe slowly getting candlelight the pink slip. rehearsallong history, dinners are not about to see Couples planning to serve a to the celebration of the "I do's" The beloved cake is getting their reign end anytime soon. wedding cake need to do some Catered in our Newly remodeled banquet facility pushed aside at some receptions Some claim they got their start research and tasting beforehand. Bridalin favor brunches of nontraditional and desserts lunches in ancient Rome when people Most wedding cakes cost about or your special place! such as cupcake tiers or dessert stacked oat cakes and broke them $1,000. Some couples cut this Themed buffet dinners – great for bachelor and Couplesbuffets featuring Cocktail pies, Party cookies, Showers over the bride’s head. The wed- cost by presenting a frosted Sty- macaroons, whoopie pies or cake ding cakes of today, although rofoam cake or partial cake and bachelorette parties pops. Some receptions even offer somewhat less extravagant, start- then serve guests a less exotic Romantic candlelight rehearsal dinners their guests ice cream sundae sta- ed showing up at weddings in the sheet cake in the kitchen. tions or a cookies and milk bar. early 1900s. Theoretically, couples also Bridal brunches and lunches ContactBut change Susanne usually for comesall your cateringThis dessert needs of choice has a could choose not to serve dessert Couple's cocktail party showers slowly and most brides still pick whole lot of tradition connected but no wedding books or online 7521cakes Jefferson as their first Hwy- choice Baton for a toRouge, it beyond Lajust providing some- sites suggest that since they are wedding dessert. thing sweet to give the guests af- a fun way to mark special occa- Contact Susanne for all your catering needs A 225-924-9841“Real Weddings Survey” ter a meal and to interrupt hours sions. conducted by the wedding web- of reception dancing. 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