WWW.YUOBSERVER.ORG Volume LXV Issue III November 2018 To All the Boys who are Emotionally Sixteen Shifra Lindenberg Web & Social Media Manager Dear boys, commit to one person. I agree with to these relationships that you keep them happy. She’ll find someone Yes, boys. Not men, not guys, you on that. However, the real forming, boys. If the girl feels the who sees her for the incredible boys. Because you didn’t really reason you aren’t ready is that you same as you, in just wanting to individual that she is and puts in the become a man when you turned don’t want to be ready. have companionship so she isn’t work to love her because he loves thirteen, you didn’t completely find You’re comfortable in your lonely, and not because she loves her. yourself during your gap year - if fleeting relationships with girls that you, there may not be damage But you? You’ll keep searching you did take one - and you aren’t hold little to no real commitment. because she wasn’t emotionally for someone who’ll temporarily fill grown up now. It’s so much easier to have a invested in you. You used her, and your void of loneliness, like you’ve Because you’re still growing pseudo-serious relationship with a she used you. But if the girl cared been doing since high school. up. You’re either just turning twenty girl for six to eight months than to about and invested in you, she’ll That’s why you’re emotionally or you’re in your early twenties. actually commit and want to be with be left heartbroken. She’ll question sixteen. That’s not to say that I’m excluding her because you might love her. herself, trying to figure out what she Change is scary because it myself, because I’m also twenty Instead of a possibly longer period did wrong, trying to find out what it requires us to face the unknown. and still growing. of time, for six to eight months you is she wasn’t giving to you, because It pushes us to discomfort and You’re probably vulnerability, but not living at home the reward is growth anymore, but your toward stronger, parents are paying smarter versions for your dorm or of our former your apartment in selves. We didn’t Washington Heights. become men and You probably don’t women at twelve have a job because and thirteen, and you’re a student, and if we didn’t become you do have a job, it’s adults during our probably a part-time gap year in Israel. job or paid internship Everyone is still that expires at the end growing up in their of the school year. early twenties, And while you regardless of might be trying to find religious affiliation. yourself internally, at But to all the the end of the day, you boys I’ve loved, don’t actually plan on embrace change. making big changes Reevaluate your to yourself that would priorities and let make you more of yourself grow up. a man than a boy. Let yourself be Because you’re not vulnerable because ready to grow up. vulnerability is You haven’t grown one of the key up yet because not only ingredients to do you not need to, but falling in love. you don’t want to. Listen before you Your life has been speak, and don’t the same since high school. You get a companion who makes you she actually cared about you and speak just to hear yourself talk. have the same routine, the same her number one. You always have was willing to put in the work to Know that there is work to love but work ethic, the same clothing someone to talk to, vent to, and to love you. She can’t accept the fact with an amazing reward, and the that your mother bought for you, listen to your problems. And if she that she didn’t do anything wrong truthfulness that is “love’s a game the same political views, and the isn’t shomer negiah, you’ll have a because she doesn’t understand of give and take.” You have to give same cycle of how you maintain “friends with benefits” relationship that you don’t want to change, to in order to get when you’re in a relationships. with her, so you won’t feel deprived commit, to grow up and respect her, relationship, and if you give a lot to And it’s not to say that girls of human contact and closeness. and not use her to fill your own void the right, amazing person, you too aren’t the same. They’re not perfect And what do you have to pay? of loneliness. will get a lot. either. However, this article isn’t The small price of an illusion that But, like most girls, this girl Oh, and remember, it’s boys, about girls - it’s about the boys. this “relationship” will actually is strong, and she puts in the work because you aren’t men yet, and So back to boys. Specifically, go anywhere. The relationship to grow from this situation and well, this isn’t intended for one the ones who I think are emotionally isn’t maturing, like you. It’s just eventually see that you used her. specific person. sixteen. something to pass the time. She goes into her next relationship I get it - you aren’t ready to It’s so much easier when you looking for someone who sees her With love, commit to a long-term relationship don’t have to change and actually as an equal, not an object. Someone Your Emotionally Eighteen because you’ve told yourself and put in the hard work that is “wanting who wants to give and make her Stern Girl others how you’re young, not to be with someone.” happy, and will accept the fact that mature enough, and not ready to But there is collateral damage she too wants to give and make Editorial November 2018 • Page 2 The Yeshiva University Keep Torah Out of the Science Classroom Kira Paley Editor in Chief Observer As a humanities major pursuing a career in the sciences, I, like Instead of allowing for completely irrelevant discussions that Yeshiva University, must find a balance between two disciplines. detract from learning the relevant material, YU should create more Editor in Chief While I struggle to keep up with both science and English courses which allow for those discussions. Students curious about Kira Paley coursework, YU students--myself included--strive to strike their medicine in the context of halacha can take JUDS classes and learn own subjective balance between two of YU’s supposed core about the intersection, but students who register for a biology class Managing Editor pillars: Torah and “Madda,” or science. Torah U’Madda has a slew should not be subject to tangents about Jewish law simply because of implications; it can mean a dual curriculum or the ability to YU is a Jewish institution. Going to a Jewish school does not mean Talya Hyman receive a secular education in an Orthodox Jewish environment, to that Judaism should permeate every single facet of the student name a couple. What it shouldn’t mean, though, is the intertwining experience. of scientific and religious concepts in a science class. Senior News Editor Since I’m not majoring in a science, I have only taken a Ailin Elyasi handful of science courses since I began Stern. In my chemistry and physics classes, I learned chemistry and physics; that is, my professors lectured solely on the subjects for which we students “Going to a Junior News Editor had registered. Yet this semester, in an advanced biology class, the lecture often focuses on the Orthodox Jewish connection to the Molly Meisels material on the syllabus. Despite that this is undeniably an Orthodox Jewish institution, Jewish school Features Editor we should not let all roads lead back to Orthodox Judaism, Elka Wiesenberg specifically when it comes to academics. I am taking this advanced biology class because it is a prerequisite for medical school, not does not mean because I am curious about the ways in which biology and Jewish Opinions Editor law intersect. If a course is listed as a biology course--or even as Hadassah Penn a finance course, or a psychology course, or a political science that Judaism course--its focus should be biology. If YU wants to boast that its academics are on par with higher ranked secular colleges, then its Web & Social courses should be standard academic college courses. At NYU, should permeate Media Manager CUNY, Barnard, etc., the time students spend in their biology courses is devoted solely to biology. Should YU continue to Shifra Lindenberg highlight its academic excellence, its professors and faculty must realize that Torah U’Madda does not need to extend to every aspect every single facet of the university. When it does, the reputation of the university as Copyeditor a serious academic institution suffers. Elki Schonbrunn The Stern College Biology Department website outlines its of the student various goals and missions; missing from its mission statement is a Layout Editor sentence about biology students cultivating their religious growth through the study of science, and rightly so. The purpose of getting experience. ” Zehava Seidman an education in the sciences, whether it’s to obtain a career in a scientific field or simply for its own sake, is to become educated Outside of the classroom, discussions about real world in the sciences.