“I CAN FEEL IT MORE THAN I CAN SAY IT”: A QUALITATIVE EXPLORATION OF BLACK WOMANHOOD A Dissertation Presented to The Graduate Faculty of The University of Akron In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Doctor of Philosophy Myriam Tamouhan Kadeba December, 2017 “I CAN FEEL IT MORE THAN I CAN SAY IT”: A QUALITATIVE EXPLORATION OF BLACK WOMANHOOD Myriam Tamouhan Kadeba Dissertation Approved: Accepted: ______________________________ ______________________________ Advisor Department Chair Suzette L. Speight, Ph.D. Paul Levy, Ph.D. ______________________________ ______________________________ Committee Member Dean of the College Amber Hewitt, Ph.D. John Green, Ph.D. ______________________________ ______________________________ Committee Member Dean of the Graduate School Dawn Johnson, Ph.D. Chand Midha, Ph.D. ______________________________ ______________________________ Committee Member Date Delila Owens, Ph.D. ______________________________ Committee Member Nicole Rousseau, Ph.D. ______________________________ Committee Member John Queener, Ph.D. ii ABSTRACT Black Womanhood has been historically defined as antithetical to the normative feminine ideals in the United States. This hegemonic femininity prescribes standards that are considered ideals in describing the archetypical feminine woman. Black women have been stereotyped as unfeminine and unattractive, and this negative and pervasive social rhetoric continue to have a long lasting adverse impact on this population. Black feminist scholars have long articulated the importance of defining Black womanhood not in relation to hegemonic femininity, but by incorporating the actual experiences of Black women. Using an interpretative phenomenological methodology and based on interviews with Black women in the United States, the current study investigated Black women’s notion of womanhood. This study uncovered ways participants self-defined, resisted negative and oppressive societal messages, and celebrated their own Black Womanhood. Participants to the study were selected using a snowball sampling method. This qualitative study sought out to advance the field of counseling psychology’s discourse on the experiences of Black women by focusing on an emic definition of Black Womanhood. iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Completing this project required the unwavering support of my ever-expanding village, which is worth acknowledging. My California people (Mohamed, Christel, April, Jennifer), thank you for the laughs and for believing in me. To my Arkansas village (Amanda, Franklin, Belinda Angeline), you never doubted that I could get here, and I thank you for inspiring me. Wunam, this journey could not have taken place without you, and I thank you for knowing that I could complete this endeavor. In Virginia, I met colleagues whose help and support allowed me to see this project through completion; Dan, Danielle, Jo Ellyn, Howard, Christine, Lisa, Camille, Megan, Miki, and Kristi, I sincerely thank you. I am also thankful to the families that took me under their wings and provided support throughout the years: the Johnson, Pappa, Lebbie, and Gandee families, thank you for your unparalleled care and encouragement. Ohio became a home away from home for me, thanks to CPP, CCS, and all the amazing people I met. I would like to take the opportunity to thank supervisors and mentors who expanded my knowledge, skills, and abilities as a counseling psychologist. Although they may not have been directly involved in the completion of this research study, these individuals’ support proved invaluable throughout the years. Dr. Shawn Townes, thank you for being the first Black woman with a doctoral degree that I ever met, and for undoubtedly believing in my ability to reach such a milestone. Dr. Jeeseon iv Park-Saltzman, Dr. Dennis Alexander, Dr. Angela White, Dr. Luis Cruz-Ortega, Dr. Kayi Hui-Spears, Dr. Greg Robinson, Dr. John Harshbarger, Dr. Linda Subich, Dr. Sydney Brodeur McDonald, and Dr. Jihad Aziz, thank you for fostering a sense of curiosity and for teaching me invaluable lessons as an emerging psychologist. Additionally, it would be important for me to thank colleagues who provided necessary feedback and support during the development and execution of this research project. Kadian, Ciemone, Ariel, Sarah, Brittany, Molly, Amanda, Laura, Naomi, Ashlee, Cierra, thank you for the support, and for providing a reflective space when needed. Mike C., I thank you for the numerous consultations regarding methodology concerns, for your direct feedback associated with conducting an ethically sound research, but most importantly, for reminding me to remain critically engaged in my work. April, I thank you for your insightful and candid responses to my queries, as well as your continuous cheers of support. Vance, I thank you for pushing me and for helping me be accountable. Lau, you have reflected the passion I felt throughout the years regarding this research project, encouraged me to keep going when I felt stuck, reminded me of the greater purpose of this endeavor, and allowed me to feel grounded when challenged. For this and much more, thank you. From brainstorming meetings, to consultations, debriefing post interviews, and through reviews of countless drafts, Nicki, your unmatched support has continued to stand out. I think of the many ways I drew from your unconditional support to move forward, and truly believe a heartfelt “thank you” is warranted. Your insight and attention to details facilitated progress during this journey, and I am forever grateful. Thank you for introducing me to Malaïka, Gabby, and Cleo and for their help during the transcription process. Their hard work is most definitely worth acknowledging. v I would also like to take this opportunity to acknowledge my dissertation committee: Dr. Amber Hewitt, Dr. Dawn Johnson, Dr. Delila Owens, Dr. Nicole Rousseau, and Dr. John Queener. This research project would not have been the same without your expertise, flexibility, and in-depth feedback. I thank you for enriching my experience and assisting my development as a researcher. I also want to extend my sincere gratitude to my dissertation chair, Dr. Suzette Speight. Your wisdom, expertise, and unfaltering belief in my ability to succeed since my first year of graduate school have guided me and helped me recognize my own strength. I have learned from you how to own my voice and to use it in a manner that embodies the values espoused by the field of counseling psychology. For this, as well as the many lessons you imparted that I will carry with me through my entire career, I thank you. Enfin, je me sens redevable envers ma famille pour leurs sacrifices et leur soutien. Marybe, merci de continuer à me recevoir à bras ouverts. Pierre et Franck, merci pour le soutien. Yann, je te remercie parce que tu ne m’as pas laissé baisser les bras et tu continues à m’encourager quand j'en ai besoin. Daniel (Stu), merci pour le rappel que je suis la maîtresse de mon propre destin, agissant finalement comme une ancre pendant les périodes difficiles. À mon père, Omer, ton travail acharné n'est jamais passé inaperçu, et je suis éternellement reconnaissante. À ma mère, Fatoumata, qui continue à me montrer les valeurs de l'éducation, de la discipline, de la fierté, de la détermination et de la persévérance, pour tes sacrifices au fil des ans, et pour avoir dit que je pourrais le faire, je te remercie. vi TABLE OF CONTENTS LIST OF TABLES ..........................................................................................................................x LIST OF FIGURES ...................................................................................................................... xi CHAPTER I. INTRODUCTION ......................................................................................................................1 Femininity ..........................................................................................................................2 Black Womanhood .............................................................................................................6 Current Study .....................................................................................................................7 Rationale and Significance .................................................................................................8 II. A REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE .....................................................................................10 Social Identity Theory ......................................................................................................10 Historical Womanist Theory ............................................................................................12 Hegemonic Femininity and Black Womanhood ..............................................................15 Social Rhetoric .................................................................................................................19 Internalized Oppression ....................................................................................................23 Black Womanhood ...........................................................................................................27 Summary ...........................................................................................................................33 III. METHODOLOGY .................................................................................................................36 Phenomenological Approach ...........................................................................................36