Hidden in America: A Qualitative Analysis of Undocumented Hispanics’ Lived Experiences by Cynthia M. Mitchell A dissertation submitted to the faculty of Wilmington University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Education in Innovation and Leadership Wilmington University June 19, 2013 Hidden in America: A Qualitative Analysis of Undocumented Hispanics’ Lived Experiences by Cynthia M. Mitchell I certify that I have read this dissertation and that in my opinion it meets the academic and professional standards required by Wilmington University as a dissertation for the degree of Doctor of Education in Innovation and Leadership. Signed:______________________________________________________________ Pamela M. Curtiss, Ph.D., Chairperson of Dissertation Committee Signed:______________________________________________________________ Lewis L. Atkinson III, Ed. D., Member of the Dissertation Committee Signed:______________________________________________________________ Susan R. Schranck Ed. D., Member of the Dissertation Committee Signed:______________________________________________________________ John C. Gray, Ed.D., Professor Dean College of Education ii Dedication I would like to dedicate this dissertation to the 15 participants, Blanca, Pablo, Pedro, Javier, Andrés, Marianella, Sinthia, Silvia, George, Jenifer, Gabriella, Elena, Fabio, Julio, and Yairel, who allowed me a moment into their world to understand the daily obstacles, inequities, and their everlasting strength. I am humbled by each and every one of you. I will never pretend to understand the horrific border crossings, your experiences of discrimination and inequity, your fears of being taken away from your families forever and deported, and the terrible sadness and longing in your hearts as a result of being separated from your mother, father, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. I cannot pretend to understand what it was and has been like for you to leave your country and know you are saying good bye to your family and loved ones for an indefinite period of time because you cannot turn back once you make the decision to cross the border. I admire you far more than you will ever even begin to understand for who you are, what you have done, and your never- ending pursuit of the American dream. You have given me the gift of eternal inspiration as you have fought, suffered, and conquered so many unfair, unjust, painful experiences and events in your life. Yet all 15 of you find a reason every day to get up every day with the hope that one day things will be different. You are the most courageous 15 individuals I have ever known, and I am honored to know you and to have interviewed all of you. I will advocate for you. I will fight because you fight, and I will always remember when things may be wrong in my life, your example of courage and perseverance will forever be my light of hope. May God iii bless each and every one of you with citizenship one day and all of your dreams— you deserve it. In addition to dedicating this to the 15 participants, I would like to dedicate this dissertation to my husband as well. As I conducted this study and listened to one story of injustice after another, my husband suffered his own. He lost his identity, was treated unfairly, and violated because of who he was and political agendas. His story, along with the participants stories, parallel in many ways, and he has found the courage to get back up and put the pieces of his life back together. I dedicate this dissertation to him because of the sacrifices he made so that I could produce this study. I also dedicate this to him for the many years he put his life on the line to serve and protect. His job was his identity, and he did it with pride, integrity, courage, and honor. No one can ever take that away from you, Ryan. Through this study, I realized that some people in this world live their lives never really being treated equally, yet they never ever give up. They continue to look adversity in the face and move forward. They find ways around the brick walls, whether they break through them, crawl over them, under them, or turn in a different direction. Living life with rose-colored glasses on is wonderful until something or someone knocks them off your face and steps on them. Then, you see the world through a whole new set of eyes, and it is not always very pretty. However, life is about a process of successes and failures, falling down and getting back up, making mistakes, and learning from them. Life, of and in itself, is a journey, and if we want to be successful, we must fail, and if we want to get better at something we must iv make mistakes. While we cannot control all that happens to us, we can control how we choose to handle adversity. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to conduct such a powerful study during such a controversial time. It has been a humbling experience and one I will cherish forever. I thank the participants, my husband, and my children for joining me on one of the most profound journeys of my life. I am forever grateful to the participants and my family for their support and encouragement. All of you believed in me when there were times I was ready to give up; you would not allow it. I always thought that this dissertation was far more about giving back than receiving. I dedicate my degree and my doctoral initials to all of you because all I did was write the dissertation; you lived it. Thank you for your faith in me, for pushing me, and for giving me a life changing experiencing. Thank you for teaching and sharing your life stories and lessons. I am blessed to be surrounded by such courageous people who do not see themselves or their lives as broken, but only bent and amendable. You have shown me that the depths of pain, suffering, and heartache merely only made you a better person and completed your life. You have embraced and accepted the good and the bad and turned it into future dreams of success. Keep showing the United States how wonderful you are; your home is here, and you belong here. Thank you. In addition, I dedicate this dissertation my Popsie, who died when I was 19 years old. He would be so proud of me. I love and miss him so much. My grandmother is 92 years old now and has had the opportunity to be a great- grandmother for 9 years. She is strong, but I know there is not a day that goes by that v she does not think about you and wish you could have seen your great-grandchildren. Thank you for giving me an endless amount of love, support, nurturing, and acceptance. I will never forget our $20 dollar handshakes or running around trying to catch you smoking a cigarette. My friends always remember your big green station wagon and cleaning up after a party I threw. I am blessed to have had you in my life for 19 years and to have had you live right behind me to see you every day. I love and miss you, Popsie. To Gerald and Helen Banks, who passed away from cancer on August 27, 2012. She wanted to see me defend and never got the chance. I miss her so much. She was one of the most giving and understanding people I have ever known along with her husband who passed in July 2002. My father has never been the same since Mr. Gerald died. I never hear him laugh like he did with his very best friend. We have to thank God and feel blessed for the time we had you in our lives and the unforgettable memories you made for me as a child, teenager, and adult. I love you both like family, and my heart breaks a little each time I hear my mom and dad talk about you both. I know they are somewhat lost without you on this earth. However, thank you for being best friends and sharing your joy and happiness with them. Their lives were better because of you. I miss you both terribly, but I know you are in a better place. I love you. To Pop-Pop Pepper, who passed away January 15, 2013. We never saw your death and absence from us coming. We are blessed and grateful for the time we had you with us on this earth. However, since you have gone parties, holidays, and vi dinners are not the same. You never spoke much, but you were a beaming presence. All of our gatherings now feel a little bleaker and have a huge void. My time with you and your absence show me how special people are in this world and that nothing can replace them. We miss you like crazy, but we know you are, too, in a better place. You fought hard and you lived a wonderful life with no regrets. You put family first and loved, supported, and protected them above all other things. I am so grateful and blessed that my children had enough time with you to remember you forever as Pop. Rest in peace; we love and miss you. In memory of Grandpop and Grandmom Elliott, Uncle Lawrence, Uncle Donald, Uncle Vincent, Aunt Theresa, Christopher Elliott, Mark Elliott, Aunt Doe, Aunt Betty… vii Acknowledgements There are so many people to thank and acknowledge as contributors and support systems to the completion of this study. First, I thank my father for instilling the value of education in me.