Vol. CCLIII, Live Free! or Die No. 5 The New Hampshire Gazette First Class U.S. Postage Paid December 5, The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle Portsmouth, N.H., Permit No. 75 2008 PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 • [email protected] • www.nhgazette.com Address Service Requested The Fortnightly Rant Another Great Victory It hardly seems possible, but might skyrocket and huge pay- we have just four more newspa- ments might be due sooner than pers left in which to beat up on expected.” the incumbent President of the A third rule would have re- United States, George W. Bush. quired that banks selling bundled Unless of course Mr. Bush—or, mortgages explain to investors more likely, his evil sidekick Dick “exactly what they were buying.” “Dick” Cheney—calls out the It is worth remembering, if SeaSmurfs* and declares martial only to fully savor the richness law. of the irony (and why not sa- Readers frequently ask us these vor it, since we’re paying for it days how we will ever manage anyway?) that the people pro- once the Bush League has left the posing these radical restric- White House. It is an abysmally tions on mortgage lending were selfish way for us to view things, not a bunch of hand-wringing, but we must admit that the in- Birkenstock-wearing, left-wing cumbent administration has pro- worrywarts like Ralph Nader, or vided us with a remarkably fertile Senator Bernie Sanders from the environment in which to operate. People’s Republic of Vermont, or As to what we’ll do after January the head of Nancy Pelosi’s Con- 20, our plan is simple: we’ll burn stituent Services team back in that bridge when we come to it. Godless San Francisco. They were In the meantime, while this bureaucrats working for the Bush execrable administration lasts— administration. and the nation’s net worth sinks Through the rest of this sordid rapidly in the canyons of lower tale, the characters run more true Manhattan—we note with our to type. [sacred—Ed.] marketplace.” See- has gone up by about 100,000 OK from Congress, gave Hank trademark grim satisfaction a re- Bank officers told regulators bach was speaking for Country- properties. By the third quarter Paulson the OK to hand out port published by the Associated that the proposed changes were wide Financial Corp, the coun- of 2008, the number was over $700 billion. Press on Monday. not necessary. Any risks that try’s Number One originator of 750,000. Surely they learned their lesson, According to an AP review of might be entailed in giving no- toxic mortgages. Countrywide’s Fortunately, no one would have right? Asked for a little account- “regulatory documents,” worried money-down, adjustable rate market value approached $25 bil- been foolish enough to take these ability? These guys were always federal bank regulators proposed, mortgages to people who might lion at its high point. Last sum- doomed mortgages and throw big on accountability, when they in 2005, a number of more re- not have jobs would best be man- mer, Bank of America bought its them into a large blender along were asking for it from others, strictive regulations for mortgage aged by the banks themselves. bleached bones for $4 billion. with a few good ones, inextrica- like schoolkids, and single moth- lending. In retrospect, it appears Their own self-interest would be The struggle over the proposed bly mix them all together, then ers, and teachers in poor school that if they had been approved— the most efficient regulator. tighter regulations went on for extrude the resultant mess into districts, auto makers … which, of course, they were not— One banker, David Schneider, about a year. In the end, the large chunks, slice those chunks “Treasury … has no policies they could have significantly re- told regulators that his adjust- regulators faded and the bankers up like baloney, and, finally, sell and procedures in place for en- duced the current level of fiscal able-rate mortgages were “safer prevailed. A few new rules went each slice with an official Stamp suring that the institutions [who carnage. … than many fixed rate mort- into effect late in 2006, but the of Approval claiming they were received the $700 billion] are One proposed regulation gages.” Schneider ran the home more restrictive ones had been USDA Prime Angus Tenderloin. complying with … requirements would have required banks to loan department of Washing- dropped. It was another great A nutty scheme like that would [that they restrict executive pay verify that would-be home buy- ton Mutual—into the ground. victory for the free market. have screwed things up to a fare- and dividend payments to share- ers “actually had jobs and could WaMu became the largest failed One person’s victory is another thee-well. But no banker would holders] or that they are using afford houses.” bank in U.S. history last Septem- person’s defeat, though. In the be crazy enough to seriously pro- the capital investments in a man- Another regulation would ber. first quarter of 2007, there were pose doing that, and no respon- ner that helps meet the purposes have required banks to warn Another banker, Mary Jane just under a quarter of a million sible regulator would let them. of the act …” home-buyers that “interest rates Seebach, said the proposed properties in the U.S. “with fore- Oh, wait … Yes, they did. And Report from the Government * See “Meet the SeaSmurfs,” in our News changes were “excessive” and closure activity.” In each of the to fix the mess they created, the Accountability Office, Tuesday, De- Briefs section, below. would “inhibit innovation in the six quarters since then, that total Bush administration, with an cember 2, 2008. News Briefs: Meet the SeaSmurfs For a hundred and thirty years, about tanks in the streets that words, under a strict interpre- Force. To avoid spending whole the Posse Comitatus* Act of tends to draw people’s attention. tation of the PCA, NORTH- days jabbering such lengthy in- 1878 has prohibited the use of The most recent encroach- COM’s very existence smacks of comprehensibilities at each oth- U.S. military personnel to en- ment on the Posse Comitatus infringement. er, or reciting long series of let- force the law, unless specifically Act (PCA) was briefly noted in NORTHCOM’s new unit got ters like a bunch of meat-based authorized by Congress. Unlike our November 7 paper: the 1st a new name along with their new Morse Code machines, members some federal laws, this one seems Brigade Combat Team (BCT) assignment: CCMRF. Pentagon of the military develop standard to draw support from both ends of the 3rd Infantry Division was terminology, always complex, pronunciations for their myriad of the political spectrum. Mostly assigned to the Northern Com- seems to have taken a great evo- acronyms. In accordance with A Regular Smurf from the ends; those in the mid- mand, or NORTHCOM, “to lutionary leap forward, judging that system, CCMRF is pro- dle seems less concerned about assist civil authorities in the re- from this example. The first C in nounced “SeaSmurf.” cartoon characters (see above). the issue. The Act may gener- sponse to … CBRNE incidents CCMRF is actually a one-letter So: 4,700 U.S. soldiers who Did we say 4,700? That’s so ate more debate in the future, in the U.S. homeland.” sub-acronym unto itself, stand- have spent more than half of the October. The Washington Post re- though. There’s just something Just what is CBRNE? We’ll get ing for that mysterious CBRNE. past five years in combat, either ported Monday that the number to that. First, NORTHCOM. If you pull the pin on CCMRF, in Afghanistan or Iraq, are now of CCMRFs is expected to grow * Posse Comitatus (Latin): Power of the Organized in 2002, in response back up, and let the whole thing responsible for the suppres- to 20,000 by 2011. county. The whole force of the county: that is, all the male members of a county over to the 9/11 attacks, NORTH- explode into whole words, you sion of any insurrections perpe- There was a time when the as- fifteen, who may be summoned by a sheriff COM is that part of the Penta- end up with Chemical, Biologi- trated by revolting peasants or signment of tens of thousands of to assist in preventing a riot, the rescue gon whose Area of Responsibility cal, Radiological, Nuclear and New Hampshire Gazette readers. of prisoners, or other unlawful disorders. Clergymen, peers, and the infirm are includes Canada, Mexico, Alaska, High-Yield Explosive Conse- And they are named after small, News Briefs exempt.—Wikipedia and the continental U.S. In other quence Management Response harmless, friendly, blue-skinned to page two Page 2 - The New Hampshire Gazette - December 5, 2008 Above: The view from Chapel Street, across Bow Street, and up the Pis- cataqua towards the Mildred Long Bridge is history now. Yay, progress. conservative principles and pro- report being overruled by “a su- moting a conservative agenda?” perior officer not at the scene.” The New York City newspa- On November 20, Salon pub- per The Jewish Week reported lished a follow-up. On the night Wednesday, quoting a Las Vegas the first article was published, it paper, that it was “pretty much said, three soldiers who had been kaput.” in the Ramadi firefight and had Support the Brass returned to Fort Carson, CO On December 4, 2006, U.S.