The Oxford Democrat. V<'I.I MF. I,Mil. PARIS. MAINE, TUESDAY. SEPTEMBER 1. 1891. NUMBER 85. JOKE. AN INDIAN PRIZE FIGHT. •wiutfin me n»nn«l rerjr r»j*d, "w*'r* aU know, ami | hivf y«uir mother mil Ihrw THK SECRET. ARTEMUS WARD'S LAST AMONG THK KARMKKS. *W la h»r John of hut lleno, Okla., tC»in to free! Ho ■>"> tiw IUt«U«bQor A Counselor, llltle mil in |>n»\lde fur, too. Hllll, I l«Mn krt|M JrflrrMMi. In hla autobiography T. Millar, AMONO THE MORMONS. Attorney A»>kH Ihr MAM, IWrtiH Ik* 0». **«tei| In a ii (lie larlnlf "Wh*t'i <»•! ltrr*U»bnn ir»t to do "trim tn& kinl In hatrnUrt, »mi IhU flftv III lh«» < rrlatra what while Croup ■ ai^b rio«.a fiiu %* I *11 ar* lt»f IW *UM. Augu«t Vnturjr, r»mv Hold. I!••* «>f mn- with hit *howf" -.1 «» r» lot will ilfkl you i htmlaome timf. A»l Um Wr m »W g*m kr» ■ »J waa probably tin* la*t je«l of Artrtnua pugllWin IwlnK topic I, gitUn puttjr nlj "W lwii Ulk at«»ut •ELECTIONS FROM THE WRITINGS »y. It. V<ni ran luu lhrw • week to W'inl. trr*«l Ion. •*!<!: jtihi "THI Muter ll'-r«lA«hun>" anl I, drawtn mm rrmrVr+i wrV<«ar«l W»f4n day* Aft I ftmm I Im* of |^l» to In a In a flnl*h ami knock-out h|o«*, mOvi »l «.» trr*. aN m 1 |a call itMir nan, ami Ihil will |l»» T«* « A ft-1 ftuw • of ti.irH •»*». \\ !»«■»» th** famoua wit Ur ilylng flfht Of ARTEMUS WARD. np to tux foil biU »n«l looktn ► * *»*»»• tut IM* I* my«rlf lUtll |i II 4« < trim IW ««Wlrl •»«>»*• * a* trndnl til* l»»cli art* wltm**e»| In the h*m* to *ork ami If you ihaoM to I'TiniHit, Snullutii|>(itii lie by ahorghul ruond i][■ <«i the ornery krowd with * »"«u, \|rtr«lM«l B>M»r <*«lur>l IWaurat, I »f her rkk t»l a Ir- |,M« i ll|«* |>rr« ejea ilrviMM frlrinl "Tom" |{otM-rt»on. thr degree of |wrfectlon when A(lil Muter A Co an I'uto. II* httakititf palri?yMMMMi i"»ugiit WtMl UW I* AWat proud A <HUi»t nimn, "toll lie*- Attorney* ••lor*. A ft-1 all mea U«4, aal all aaalta, *Ih» a Wo a tween two Inilian buck* U *«*n lawf toy Ihf <Khrr day fro,n llagley you ran tuvr Kngllah playwright, own Hal mm maa h«4* «• •• I, rbwhun to tul»d bU blcnow, mb)«rt *A»*R. tlum To- tiouhk." frhwl «»f JfrtVr^in. In thr rlii*. the clirumferem-e of III* CtrM ml m Hwk ><ffM lilt, your TWi ma-k hw »••* a •Nil' whlta, to the Koruitltiuhnn of the I'mtnl GOtsa to liavc tmi farm " klitff H'iH'i uriln whkh l« not a rope, l-ut a •Irlnf V«a*4 to Jia* mljr M IMK» H»U thu trmt too much, tlr," Itat I will nli h tor llll I ill*. "Jo»t ilrath," flllli ttolay lt*h<lii| „ out of Intereateil human It I* sui»r IV »<»rk of thr farm hmtw ««• ovrr •Ummrrhl "I ilnnt know how Mr. Jribraoti, "llobrrtaon |*«iml *|«e*-tator*. fmi U r««tU (ienrg*. *»-l If I analrt m« aft-l Ihrft. lafN|Mi. "< a iwwt Ik * I and ort»trd a fart thai ImlUn* of tin- «<«rn«-' Hi now let im In, that'* K ,'oc thr day ; thr t'klUrni—tilth Ihr rt- In thank y«»u.** W bT UU m 4t««i« a IM>| W- MM ii»mII« !•»«• In (I»m la an wWr ther nmnhrr thou*- *»• ay—anvi* anl arverel ftOAlU, th*W I! tr|.ili>n <>f thr oklMl wo, «hn had |>iw "T»«» much* Then I d«w»t know wltal TVM >•» mm, It to III* friend. trllir, though uitf tTtafyrWh'-l faMltfml by UMM," pqttin »t Aft-l <1 «• kftfl me, «•»•* nnl •iili U W Attorney* Law, in ibr till»|^-«rr» la M, unl la thr voti'll to thK" iml thr farmer t«w«k ««l/ ly bj MW«rd Mid, ilrwr Tom, I cant ItxU, thrre are few of .|u*rre|. HUtta**** Tort. truu round iih* iu lartn "lieroai* *ay 'Mjr Itafcar a a tln-m tlitt »%er re*ult In munler. ] *AHK. till, exitfuft«h)r kluhrn Kiibdy IUm«- hl« Mto the arm an I lud him out on I oalj ait IMlW l»*g*r, Ukr that drmilful atulf.' among I of ml IWruma I'nwt A lur wirm by Wr la IW VL ftHTIiri, • Aft-l «a*rh tallikr* rwai, I* llhn C tut uud. hi* »llf and hi* ntfr'a alatrr, Mra. Ihf |*>r« h IVrr h aonllirr for "I'ulu#, com*,* told llobrrtaon, urging I lil* It •trinfr when It nrmeui'«-r"<l V*le.I to | _-a I ll»nVt jirrwnl llrra aaalla* a tlllta jroa." I +r-rr llgM lie imumniui unctwtrnl- A run TO MUOIUM TOCBO. Im**, alttlng «rwiiMl a crnlrr- you. my bor." Aft-l Ihrrv <>li!)u-rallhtf gkmum him to iwillnw ilrui; tlut th«* Imllan W pa**lunate, "Nut • rtmir ri 1, •Urtln l>*rk In » » » Hol.f, ,M VK UbW. Thr fanorr naa a "Vlwi" TIk1 word came fn»m 'llw'i i ilmr frllow Iki now, fur my lr»| In hU lmpul*e«, cruel anil ferorton* rmdlng |*a|»rr, -He >hm w W la • ua«ir-i horror it the i«lw. (I way do fllltl.-nltk. hla nlfr «n |mtlln( a on I he i-ei>rge'* with a i||h of M ati Im llw l-r»«4ri» a«a fall IkMlk, Mkf; r«Hi know I would anything l»v nature. Tli' r h**e their A Counselor, |MU-h ll|»« long )t»f, "Oh aUjr. Htr. *Ujr." <•*! • Ull. tT*wnt Att*»rn»v kow uf llatry'a dlmlnntlv* knhkertwxk- ami with one biumd he wm at the «1<W Turalfti la awfcl I ha fa-le-i »|far. for am! hown^r, l*it arbitration you.* ipiarrel*, <>r» ft •ummirs nut MAI«ft \ft-l maklaf •lUMuft-ta of «lew ) " or f>ru*il*. whuaihed %. u« % Y, rr» tivl Mr*. I.u«4* «u mxhrtlnf i of the Mat'k mare lie had thought never -Wo.,I,| youf «al«l IVml, Milr of theo|<| iiicii |»r»«»•*«»!• blnmUhnl a a be* •Ujr. \ HI be your ht««l of Mu* and nhltr for a to wv again, ami had both arm* about I all I al la4. a. ar Wart »»ar»a, at retching out hla hand to graap hla munlrr \H oiitf In while flchi |twn*l, •l» all l»r *rall. tr.1 lb*." •mall nkacr. her rather have (albrra ll«M, for I Ik* Uat tlm#. occur*. tn.I It I* a novel *l|jht to witm-**, ()«!• iwvk. 'iih. father, I'd uft-llfl Wkl la-Uaft** larfta frlend'a, |«-rhapa Aft<t " *m < « «l klU, mM llol*rt*on. • Mi.. another to "Not rf | know It, won't." I. IVrr «a< •llrocr In the lIU'Wl), M»f VUen than anrthlng el«e In tin* anrM!" ■* Ilka a «ra wf ll«M 'I non|i| Itiilml,' buck ctuHeflffe* o>U)bat, jtimi l>* " to f'ri I In* of thr firr la thr iluif, ami he hurfol hi* face In tin* 'Tln-n you tak* it* aald tt'anl. Hh1 ami. hr ttirlr frleml* to tlx MA«r* jruu Ikjunklu fitulle. Uo F« nui|i|i|n( pretty A»l Ida* I Iftua Ihfj *a* la |>*r| *«f"inp.miM • » a war but a few hour* Mch Imu k U to * ichat Attorney A CounMlor. thr thklft* uf th<- I>1| ttfht-dajr I"* k la crwature'* inane, and In •■•He of hi* eigh- Thai akkk i<»l mr a«rriil|> aMtj hiimorlat paa*r<| hatllr (TmihI, atrlpneil * t* Nunnrrjrr TW» 1 ml, thr tvrti«r and tlw ru.il» of tha farmrr'* teen broke down aud *ob- «hr |i>«< ixa (laftrva »f Wr Wad, aftrrNanl." I lie nudit* mi In tlie hlfn ml* ML MAI*K. year* fairly ple**ing 1KM tottIL, Mra. Ilarrwond •l«»l *a, IW aaaafcl** of Wr aaat. turral arl *choo|* the ftitt, lirar. anl alxm M, among |«le "X I," «•»! * fa chunky fem*il*, wbo • hnth hrr alalrr ltd hrr de«lre to leave an.I mt'l* to coufmnt tie* other. lie » II .Irrplf, That ended tieorge'a DOES IT PAY? A CURIOUS NAME COMBINATION. must her w»It« taorw than U«» hundred to lie* war rlub a (month haikiMl 'onkrd up In «nrpr4o». the farm, lie via* never again heard la In a nam«*r* lua h««en * tween tliern a j Uwa Mh.it ptjrf Ortalnljr thl« quea- ••What lb*. "I will l"» your pwi'.-t to4in Hurf Attorney «t Law, hat a thr wilttr, '•inhr lakwl mention the «uhW>rt, ami he grumbled mi un*n«w»>»vd to atlll Imi| piece of hanl WOOil, aeaaoneij bv *!•»•» Im* a wMr range of «|«pll« •luxation atiffliVnlly ti c I. "Il« bet two dolb»ra and « half thr lattrr, -That via thr loudrat more aU>ut hard work and the monotony hut teara aervliv ml regarded a* a *ort of MAl*K. *lfh Hut i|>a | f«n give It * aort of gen- mutln * aiihjnrt for dlamaalon, I* Li*. |icrli a in i*<i»t ataln* on jrou woo tr Wharmr I may llou>« Mint I fitr r*m In everr wav trle*l to 1 ■ be«*au*e of the blood hrurd g\r*.