October 29, 2008 #968 The President Erect Oh, Lord, let this cover be accurate come Erection... er, Election Day! inSIDE Impalin’ Palin with Around the World in 100 Pretzel Logic. Drag Queens at Sidetrack. page 16 page 8, 25 out in the stars by Charlene Lichtenstein Get on the campaign trail as little pieces. slid by on oily charm may have this presidential November a second chance to prove gets underway. Lucky Jupiter LEO (JULY 24 - AUG. 23) themselves. By the end of the trines stern Saturn and gives Proud Lions want to slim down month you could be the main us an extra vote that insures for the holidays. Strike while corporate flavor. Let’s hope it our success. So don’t sit on the spirit and flesh are willing. is not roasted turkey. October 29, 2008 your stump. Get Out and At the same time you find #968 vote... twice! ingenious ways to enjoy life CAPRICORN (DEC. 23 - JAN. and lust to the fullest without 20) Pink Caps need a bit of cover ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL the extra calories. As you well zest and can put the zip back 20) Your great ideas hit their know, sugar is better spread into their current life course KRIS mark. Say what’s on your than eaten. or find even greener pastures photos by Kirk mind to both superiors and to explore. Viva la difference; subordinates. (Be diplomatic...) VIRGO (AUG. 24 - SEPT. Not only can you discover new INDEX Soon you forget the day to 23) Queer Virgins may have things about yourself, you can THAT GUY day grind and concentrate on trouble focusing on one topic also find some new and excit- 6 the bigger picture —yes, long for an extended period, but ing travel mates. THE DJ, THE MUSIC lunches and afternoon naps on who cares? The idea is to ac- & YOU your office couch. cumulate all sorts of seemingly AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. 12 useless and frivolous ideas. 19) Paging Dr. Freud: What PRETZEL LOGIC TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY You will be amazed at how you is it that is holding you back 16 21) Queer Bulls unleash build on snippets and create a from true affirmation and hap- MARRS ATTACKS! their gay muse and create a master plan. piness? By Thanksgiving you’ll 24-25 masterpiece. Don’t fritter this tire of staring into your navel DATELAND energy on party pranks and LIBRA (SEPT. 24 - OCT. 23) and seek to stare into some- 28 cheap thrills. Later all those Be politic if you can around one elses navel. Of course, as INTERMISSION artistic ideas evaporate and family. Anything you let Freud said, sometimes a navel 32-33 you’ll become just another cog drop will create a sinkhole... is just an orange. CALENDAR in the corporate wheel. Axle or stinkhole. Secrets are 38-39 grease anyone? exposed. But this may not be PISCES (FEB. 20 - MARCH WHERE MY BAR AT? a bad thing. Oftentimes vulner- 40 20) Guppies are more focused WHAT’S UP? GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21) ability is attractive and sexy. I than usual on partnerships. 42-43 Problems from the past bubble guess you will find out if this is Put your cards on the table FROM THE BOOTH under the surface and need one of those times. and see the points add up. 44 to be expressed before they By Thanksgiving you can erupt. Good; pink Twins can do SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. lustily trump your partners ace what they need to do to pave 22) Queer Scorps feel like a and win the trick. (Don’t be a over disagreements and live chameleon trying on different dummy; I suggest that some life to the fullest. Don’t kowtow personal styles to see which Fish should go for the rubber.) to anyone. (Ha! As if you ever one fits. Take several tries could!) before the lavender you (c) 2008 THE STARRY EYE, LLC., All emerges. In the meantime, Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY seek affirming social groups 23) Do the necessary fiscal but don’t go for consensus. Can’t get enough? Join the blog: research, focus your thoughts Test the limits to get a true thestarryeye.typepad.com/queer and create a compelling read. Lichtenstein’s “HerScopes: A Guide strategy. Gay Crabs angle for To Astrology For Lesbians” is an a cushy financial pillow. Take SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 23 - international sensation and has just time to study the small print and DEC. 22) Gay Archers who “come out” in its 6th printing. Buy it fit the puzzle together later in have been working hard will and feel the vibration. the month. First collect all the reap rewards. Those who have DOWNload: www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com October 29, 2008 #968 PUBLISHER Tracy Baim ASSISTANT PUBLISHER Terri Klinsky MANAGING EDitor Kirk Williamson PhotoGRAPHY Mel Ferrand, Kat Fitzgerald, DJ Greg Haus, Kirk, Kizzy, Ryan Kolodziej, Steve Starr CAST OF CHARACTERS Andrew Davis, DJ Res-5, graysong, Michael Hampton, Joan Jett- Blakk, Charlene Lichtenstein, David J. Magdziarz, Homer Marrs, Jennifer Parello, Randy Pubert ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Terri Klinsky, Suzanne Kraus, Kirk Williamson, Kathleen Ulm, Amy Matheny, Jerry Nunn, Cynthia Holmes, Terry Wiegel, Shawn Murray NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE RIVENDELL MEDIA (212) 242-6863 PROMOTIONS Kathleen Ulm DIRECTOR OF NEW MEDIA Jean Albright OFFICE Cynthia Holmes CALENDAR EDitor Amy Wooten Copyright 2008 Windy City Media Group/Lambda Publications Inc. All rights reserved. Reprint by permission only. Back issues available for $3 per issue (postage included). Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials. All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots/Windy City Times will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such, subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots/Windy CityTimes. Publication of the name, photograph, or likeness of a person or organization in articles or advertising in Nightspots/Windy City Times is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such person or organization. While we encourage readers to support the advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots/Windy City Times cannot accept responsibility for advertising claims. The President Erect nightspots 5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640 Oh, Lord, let this cover be accurate come erection... er, election day! 773.871.7610, fax 773.871.7609 www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com inSIDE [email protected] Impalin’ Palin with Around the World in 100 Pretzel Logic. Drag Queens at Sidetrack. page 16 page 8, 25 DOWNload: www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com that guy by Kirk Williamson Night of 100 Drag Queens... and $18,000! Yes, that’s how much money Sidetrack raised for Equality IL with the 16th annual Night of 100 Drag Queens - Around the World In 100 Drag Queens. Teri Yaki claims to have toned it down for this high-tone show, but you know every word out of that skanky hole was “fuck” and “bitch” and C’mon, I had to! Look at him! “shit.” Hey, it helped bring in $18,000 bucks, so methinks I’ve had this week’s exact cover it wasn’t a problem. in mind since March. Luckily, Kris is a good sport. We’ll just Un applauso to all the folks who worked very hard donat- have to wait and see if a copy ing their time and efforts for this great cause! of this issue makes its way to the Obama camp. Here’s hop- ing we elect a president with a sense of humor (and a killer smile)! And if you don’t vote this year, don’t ever, EVER talk to me again. You don’t deserve my carbon dioxide. [email protected] As if ABC’s The View didn’t provide enough comedy on its own steam, now we have The Spew, playing every Sunday through November 16 at Comedy Sportz, 929 W. Belmont Ave. (in the old Ann Sather’s building). The girls (and yes, they are all women-born-women playing the roles) stay timely and still manage to snatch a wig or two in the process. You’ll spew your reasonably priced beer, I guarantee. Check out the antics of Babette, Whoopsi, Gay and What’s-Her-Name at The Spew. 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