<p> Benheck.com Podcast Intro – Episode 8</p><p>“Police Files: Mario Squad – Season Finale”</p><p>ANNOUNCER Next week, on Police Files Mario Squad…</p><p>[sounds of the city, police sirens, radio chatter]</p><p>MARIO Whadda we a got?</p><p>DISGRUNTLED COP Another PS3 shooting. Looks like they wanted that system pretty bad…</p><p>MARIO Murder weapon?</p><p>DISGRUNTLED COP From the entry wound I’d say a Wiimote… thrown pretty hard. The strap broke before the guy even knew it.</p><p>MARIO I’m a one the case!</p><p>[sounds of an office]</p><p>POLICE CHEIF Dammit Mario! I’m not giving you 5 grand to go buy a PS3 on eBay!</p><p>MARIO But I’ve a got no leads!</p><p>POLICE CHEIF Just bid and don’t pay!</p><p>WIFE Honey it’s 2 am and you’re still on the computer?</p><p>MARIO I’m a gonna find the killer! Even if I have buy every PS3 on eBay! ANNOUNCER And now Mario vows to bring a murderer to justice…</p><p>[Phone rings]</p><p>MARIO [picks up phone] Hello?</p><p>SCOTT Dude, I like, need the cash for my PS3 auction.</p><p>MARIO I’ll a be right over!</p><p>ANNOUNCER No matter how many people he has to kill along the way.</p><p>[doorbell rings] [door opens]</p><p>SCOTT Hello dude?</p><p>[machine gun rings out] [screams of pain] [body slumps to floor]</p><p>MARIO That’s a one down… [gun cocks] four hundred a thousand left to go!</p><p>ANNOUNCER The odds are stacked against him…</p><p>POLICE CHEIF Dammit Mario, the Mayor’s ridin’ my ass about these suspects. Try to bring one in alive this time!</p><p>MARIO I’ll a just shoot their kneecaps!</p><p>SECRETARY Mario, the district attorney will see you now.</p><p>DA We had the suspect in custody but thanks to your sloppy police work he’s free on bail!</p><p>MARIO If I a can’t bring him in by the books…</p><p>I’ll a bring him in in a bodybag.</p><p>POLICE CHEIF Oh no you don’t Mario. Turn in your gun and shield, yo off the force! Again.</p><p>MARIO This a ain’t over!</p><p>ANNOUNCER And while his dreams have all dried up…</p><p>WIFE How are we gonna pay the mortgage Mario? How we gonna pay for… my baby??!!!!</p><p>MARIO You’re a pregnant? [BEAT] Shit!</p><p>ANNOUNCER He still thirsts for justice!</p><p>MARIO The law a turned its back on me… So I’m a gonna turn my back on the law!</p><p>[montage of screaming and gunfire]</p><p>ANNOUNCER Will Mario find the killer?</p><p>MARIO You’ve a got a Wii but no Wiimote. What a gives?</p><p>SUSPECT I… uh… lost it?</p><p>MARIO Not good enough!</p><p>SUSPECT ARGH!</p><p>ANNOUNCER Don’t miss the season finale of… Police Files: Mario Squad!</p><p>MARIO Welcome to the Mario Party, bitch!</p><p>[explosions and debris]</p>