<p>C C N W E E K L Y S O L U T I O N S S E R I E S T H E W E E K O F D E C E M B E R 8 , 2 0 0 8</p><p>I Do, 9: Unfaithfully Yours! </p><p>Featuring Dr. Henry Cloud Psychologist Best-selling co-author of Boundaries series, Author, The Secret Things of God and The One-Life Solution </p><p>Visit CCN on the web at www.ccn.tv CCN Solutions: I Do, 9—Unfaithfully Yours! Page 2</p><p>I. Faithfulness </p><p>The character of God:</p><p>- God is called “Faithful”</p><p>- God is wholehearted </p><p>All of a person needs to come to the marriage relationship and maintain that over time</p><p>Genesis 3: Adam and Eve unplugged from God </p><p>Naked ‘totally exposed’ </p><p>The goal: To come into marriage naked and unashamed</p><p>II. Unfaithfulness </p><p>Diabolic = Compartmentalize</p><p>Things go bad when they get separated from the whole</p><p>In wholeheartedness, all of oen is connected to all of the other; there are no secrets </p><p>Nobody comes to marriage with access to all of themselves </p><p>The Bible pushes us to bring things out of the darkness: Psalm 139, 1 John, James 5, etc.</p><p>The basic human needs: </p><p>- The need to connect - The sense of self-control and power - The need to be real - The need to be adult </p><p>If these needs aren’t met, the heart’s vulnerable to a hostile takeover </p><p>Affairs happen because the person chose to deal with deprivation by Satan’s answer</p><p>We’re called to bring hurts etc. to God and others for healing </p><p>Luke 4: the theology of temptation in a state of deprivation</p><p>Ephesians 4: what happens when we’re separated from the life of God</p><p>Visit CCN on the web at www.ccn.tv CCN Solutions: I Do, 9—Unfaithfully Yours! Page 3</p><p>III. The best defense: Bring things to the light</p><p>- Be a steward over your connection</p><p>Develop a way to talk about what’s not getting nourished</p><p>- Ask if you’re happy with the amount of freedom and control that each person has</p><p>Giving out of freedom, not control</p><p>- Ask: How real can we be? </p><p>Talking about the bad stuff and feeling accepted</p><p>- Ask: Do you feel equal?</p><p>Are you champions of each other’s dreams and of the dreams you share?</p><p>IV. Practical tips</p><p>- Make sure your marriage is getting the best of your time and energy</p><p>Follow the misery and make a rule</p><p>- Light: be somewhere where you’re being voluntarily exposed</p><p>Accountability group vs. leading it in the darkness</p><p>Manic defense keeps you from feeling some other loss or deprivation </p><p>Build capacities that will make you faithful and wholehearted </p><p>Visit CCN on the web at www.ccn.tv CCN Solutions: I Do, 9—Unfaithfully Yours! Page 4</p><p>Small Group Discussion Questions</p><p>Unfaithfully Yours!</p><p>1. How can you be a better steward of your connection? </p><p>2. What is one thing you can change this week to ensure that your relationship is getting the best of your time and energy?</p><p>3. What is one dream of yours that you would like championed in your relationship? What is a dream that you think your spouse or partner would like championed? </p><p>4. What can you do this week to increase your accountability outside of your relationship?</p><p>Visit CCN on the web at www.ccn.tv CCN Solutions: I Do, 9—Unfaithfully Yours! Page 5</p><p>Next week on Solutions: “Self-Esteem! Key to Success?”</p><p>Resources </p><p>The One-Life Solution by Dr. Henry Cloud www.cloudtownsend.com</p><p>Solutions Leaders www.cloudtownsend.com</p><p>Sponsored In Part By:</p><p>New Life Ministries is a fully-equipped resource for the treatment of mental and spiritual health issues. www.newlife.com</p><p>Contact Information</p><p>Dr. Henry Cloud Church Communication Network Cloud-Townsend Resources PO Box 1718 18092 Sky Park South, Suite A Mountain View, CA 94042 Irvine, CA 92614 Phone: 800-321-6781 Phone: 800-676-4673 Fax: 650-745-0660 Web: www.cloudtownsend.com Email: [email protected] Web: www.ccn.tv</p><p>Visit CCN on the web at www.ccn.tv</p>