Will You Die For Me? by Charles Watson as told to Chaplain Ray Hoekstra Copyright...................................................................................... 1 Acknowledgments ........................................................................2 Dedication ....................................................................................2 About the Author .........................................................................3 Sure, Charlie, You Can Kill Me ...................................................4 Behold, He Is In The Desert ........................................................8 The Campus Kid........................................................................ 14 The Times, They Are A-Changin' .............................................18 California Dreamin' ...................................................................23 Gentle Children, With Flowers In Their Hair ...........................27 Family .........................................................................................33 Magical Mystery Tour ................................................................37 Watershed: The White Album ...................................................42 Happy in Hollywood ..................................................................48 Revolution / Revelation .............................................................51 Piggies .........................................................................................57 You Were Only Waiting for This Moment .................................62 Helter Skelter I (August 8-9) ......................................................67 Helter Skelter II (August 9-10) ...................................................73 He's a Runner .............................................................................78 Inside ..........................................................................................82 Jailhouse Religion .......................................................................86 On Trial ......................................................................................91 Lockup ........................................................................................97 Day ...........................................................................................101 To Live is Christ .......................................................................106 Epilogue by Chaplain Ray Hoekstra ........................................113 Other Books By Charles ...........................................................117 Copyright Will You Die For Me? by Charles Watson as told to Chaplain Ray Hoekstra Copyright 1978 Renewed Copyright 2010 by Steve Housden Scripture quotations not otherwise identified are based on the King. James Version of the Bible. Scripture quotations identified RSV are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyrighted 1946, I952, © 1971 and I973. Permission has been granted by ATV Music Group for use of the following song lyrics: BLACKBIRD (John Lennon and Paul McCartney). Copyright © 1968 Northern Songs Limited; EVERYBODY’S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE EXCEPT ME AND MY MONKEY (John Lennon and Paul McCartney). Copyright © 1968 Northern Songs Limited; HELTER SKELTER ( John Lennon and Paul McCartney). © 1968 Northern Songs Limited; HONEY PIE (John Lennon and Paul McCartney). Copyright © 1968 Northern Songs Limited; I WILL (John Lennon and Paul McCartney). Copyright © I968 Northern Songs Limited; REVOLUTION (John Lennon and Paul McCartney). Copyright © I968 Northern Songs Limited; SEXY SADIE (John Lennon and Paul McCartney). Copyright © I968 Northern Songs Limited. All rights for the U.S.A., Canada, Mexico and the Philippines controlled by Mcclen Music, Inc. ℅ ATV Music Corp. Used by permission. All rights reserved. In order to respect their privacy, names and identifying circumstances have been altered for certain individuals in this account. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review article without written permission from the publishers. All rights reserved. Published by: ? ISBN ? 1 Acknowledgments On behalf of both Charles and myself, I would like to thank several people whose help and openness facilitated the telling of the remarkable story that follows. First, Charles “Tex” Watson’s parents, Elizabeth and Denton Watson, who opened to me their hearts and their home — as well as their very private pain. This was the first and only time they spoke to anyone outside their own family about the events recorded here and I can only trust that they will have no reason to regret their generosity. I am also deeply grateful to Chaplain Stanley McGuire of the California Men's Colony at San Luis Obispo, not only for his help in the preparation of this manuscript, but for his assistance in my own ministry among the inmates of the Men’s Colony on more than one occasion. Chaplain McGuire is a man of unique vision, and his program at the Plazaview Chapel — all too briefly explored in the later pages of this book — deserves the attention of every corrections officer and prison chaplain in the country. Thanks are also due to Superintendent D.J. McCarthy and Associate Superintendent E.L. Snyder of the Men's Colony for their positive encouragement that has made possible a number of visits by myself and others for ministry to the men of the Colony and for their enlightened leadership of one of the finest correctional institutions in the country. CHAPLAIN RAY HOEKSTRA Dedication This book is dedicated to my late father and mother, Denton and Elizabeth, who endured so much because of my past foolishness. Thank you Mom and Dad for your unconditional love, flowing from our Heavenly Father above. Charles does not benefit financially from this book. 2 About the Author Charles was born in 1945, in Dallas, Texas. He grew up in Copeville, 35 miles north of Dallas. He left Texas for California in 1967, believing that out west promised satisfaction through drugs, sex and rock 'n roll. In California, he enrolled in college and secured a job, but soon dropped out in exchange for the fast life. He met Charlie Manson and ended up becoming a member of the “Manson Family.” He was part of this group for a year. Manson offered a utopia, but in reality he had a destructive worldview, which Charles ended up believing in and acting upon. His participation in the 1969 Manson murders is a part of history that he deeply regrets. For participation in these crimes, he received the death penalty, but this was overturned in 1972. Charles remained imprisoned with a life sentence. Three years later, Christ came into his heart and called him into the ministry. He began ministry training and co-authored the book, Will You Die For Me? in 1978. This book has touched thousands of prisoners spiritually. He founded the original Abounding Love Ministries in 1980 and became an ordained minister in 1981. He has spent all these years ministering to prisoners and to others around the world. His website, www.aboundinglove.org, was created in 1997, and has millions of hits worldwide. In recent years, he wrote the book, Manson's Right Hand Man Speaks Out! to answer the many questions he is still asked in interviews and through letters. His notorious past is a tragedy from any point of view, but for almost four decades, his life has testified to the awesome grace of God. Charles is a man of peace and character, who shines brightly in a dark place. His identity has shifted from that of a murderer to a child of God. He no longer allows his crime to identify who he is. He sees himself as God sees him — a new creation in Christ. He is not only a man of faith, but of compassion. He walks the prison yard while sharing what it means to be a Christian. He fellowships with other Christians and helps them to see God as their heavenly Father who loves them unconditionally. He shares a Godly wisdom that has come through past failures and years of spiritual, mental and emotional growth. In 2009, he completed his B.S. Degree in Business Management. He rejects “legalistic Christianity,” where people are led to believe they can earn their salvation through their own good works, because right standing with God is possible only through faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ. He lives every day reaching out to unbelievers with the grace of God and prays with believers to understand their awesome inheritance obtained through their union with Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection. 3 Chapter 1 Sure, Charlie, You Can Kill Me The point of the long knife pressed against my chest, the blade angled to slide between the ribs, into the heart. All it would take was one quick thrust. “Will you die for me, Tex? Will you let me kill you?” It was night, one of those dry, chilly desert nights that can come even while the days are still blistering. We were sitting around a fire. “Will you let me kill you?” His voice was soft, very gentle. His eyes seemed to be full of love. I thought of the first time I saw him on the floor of a Pacific Palisades mansion, surrounded by his girls, playing his guitar. “This is Charlie,” someone had said, “Charlie Manson.” He had looked up with the same dreamy smile he was giving me now, over a year since that meeting, now, late August 1969 now, with a knife in my side, tripping out in the California desert on the edge of a valley appropriately named Death. “Let me kill you.” We were camped by the mouth of an abandoned mine shaft in Golar Wash, a rocky scar that slices up into the southern end