www.ExpressGayNews.com • May 6, 2002 Q1 CYMK COVER STORY Suzanne Sounds Off Comic Suzanne Westenhoefer to Play Aquagirl, May 17 By Mary Damiano “Chris Rock makes fun of black people, and Suzanne Westenhoefer is not interested the black people are laughing their asses off in being politically correct. She’s only because they see the truth in it. If you don’t interested in being funny. see the truth in it, you won’t laugh,” Westenhoefer will bring her comedy to Westenhoefer says. “The truth is, fags and Miami as a featured performer at Aquagirl, dykes are funny, and I think that’s fabulous. the women’s party and fundraising weekend You know what else? Blacks are funny. benefiting the Dade Human Rights Latinos are funny. Fat people are funny, and Foundation’s Women’s Fund. She will skinny models who don’t eat are funny. If appear Friday, May 17, at the Lincoln Theatre someone wants to make them funny, and you in South Beach. laugh, that makes them funny.” Westenhoefer believes that standup, Westenhoefer concedes that such like jazz, is an American art form and comedy may not fall on the politically correct phenomenon. “We invented, and it does not side of the morality fence, but being correct translate,” she says. “By it’s nature, it’s also and moral is not the point of comedy. “I irreverent. It’s not sweet and nice; it’s expect that from politicians, meaning I want supposed to be provocative and evocative them to make moral choices. I don’t want to some degree, and that’s an American way them perpetuating horrifying myths. But to be. It’s very in your face. We’re like the comics? We’re the low rung on the totem court jesters.” pole; we’re exactly who’s going to point it She did not set out to be a stand-up out.” she says. “You’ve got to remember, if comic. Her dream was to be an actress, but people laugh, that’s where the market for it she spent the bulk of her 20s as a bartender. is.” She first hopped on a stage to do comedy Westenhoefer is not above making jokes when she was 29 and was a hit. about the people she likes when they say In the beginning, she was the gay girl in something she doesn’t like, such as Melissa the straight clubs. She became known for Etheridge, who raised Westenhoefer’s ire her fresh and sassy take on the world and with her comments about Eminem and Elton kept audiences laughing with her provocative John. brand of comedy. One of her signature “I love Melissa Etheridge—as a person, routines at the time was a bit making fun at as a performer, everything—but I ripped her the idea that straight men suck at oral sex. a new one for a year when she was all, ‘I “The straight men and women laughed their think Eminem is fabulous, I’m so glad he’s butts off,” she says. singing with Elton John,’” she says. “Does One of the early turning points in her that make me anti-Melissa? Hell no! I make career was a 1991 appearance on the Sally fun of Ellen. Am I anti-Ellen? Hell no. She’s Jesse Raphael talk show. The theme of the up there, she’s in the public.” advertising and selling tickets, then decide show was “Lesbians Who Don’t Look Like Even Westenhoefer has her limits, to take a closer look and change her mind. Lesbians.” though. She will not make jokes about rape, That was wrong and inappropriate.” There Westenhoefer remembers the scouts incest or child pornography, and she will not has been no further contact with the school. for the show combing the New York lesbian laugh at comics who do. “I’ll get up and make Westenhoefer maintains a busy touring bars to try to find women who did not fit the a joke about that comic,” she says. She will schedule, but only on weekends, allowing lesbian stereotype that was most often seen not make jokes about the priest scandal in her to have a normal weekday life with her on TV then. They had a hard time finding the Catholic Church. partner of 10 years, Annie. She recently four women who would appear on TV. “They Westenhoefer has had her own run-in appeared as a guest on Politically Incorrect had to go to Baltimore for the fourth one,” with a Catholic institution. Last year, and is in discussions about various projects. she says. Westenhoefer was booked to play at an Her live performances are her top career Westenhoefer says she appeared on the auditorium at Carlow College, a Catholic priority now, and she’s looking forward to program not so much to show that lesbians school in Pittsburgh. After agreeing to the playing Aquagirl. Westenhoefer’s unique do not look like America thinks they do, but concert, the president of the school, Sister take on comedy extends to her feelings about to show that lesbians are also smart and Mary Grace, deemed Westenhoefer and her her profession. funny. “I always hated that the material “inappropriate” and abruptly “No matter what you think, you have representation was one of anger. We were canceled the show. no idea what it’s like to do standup,” she always angry, or tragic. I thought, ‘I’m not “She has every right to not have me at says. “It is not like anything else. It’s not like that, my friends are not like that.’ I wanted her place; it’s a private school. I’m really harder. It’s not easier. It’s just not like other to be there and be smart and funny and have supportive of that. She does have the right things. It’s not a learned art or craft. There strong comebacks, and that was what I did.” to say no,” Westenhoefer says. “What she are no rules. If I make you laugh, I win. This Westenhoefer’s unique stance on does not have the right to do is say yes, take isn’t Meryl Streep doing a great performance. comedy is that it’s the audience, not the the money, and then two weeks out, after This isn’t a writer trying to create a Broadway comic, who makes something funny, these women have spent so much money on play or a song that sells. If I make you laugh, believing that nothing is funny until someone I win.” laughs at it. A comic’s job, she says, is to hold up a mirror, let the audience see the most South Beach Gay Men’s Chorus to uncomfortable thing about themselves, and see if they’ll laugh. Sing at Colony Theatre “You have to be realistic about comedy,” Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Extravaganza Set for May she says. “The nature of it is not about, ‘can’t we all get along.’ It’s actually to pick The new show from the South Beach shows, David Leddick, David Vance and the thing that you do that isn’t pleasant and Gay Men’s Chorus will premiere at South Lohan Bruguera will again be featured hold a mirror to it.” Beach’s Colony Theater on May 9. soloists in the production. Westenhoefer admits that she has Titled South Beach Shore Leave: A The chorus, which is comprised entirely certain sacred cow issues, and often can’t ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ Extravaganza, the of volunteers, has added several new help herself from doing certain jokes with show is a celebration of song, the armed members for the show. certain groups of people. forces, patriotism, drag queens and the gay The chorus has already previewed some “When I know there’s a thousand community. of the show’s numbers at the Communion vegetarians in the audience, then I get all The tale of the first U.S. battleship’s Oscar Night benefit and AIDS Walk Miami. over animals: kill ’em, eat ’em, wear ’em.’ arrival into South Beach for shore leave, the The show times are May 9 and 10 at And I’m not a vegetarian, but I would never show was conceived by Mark Akens, the 8pm, and May 12 at 3pm. wear fur, I don’t use any of the make-up [that chorus’s new artistic director, with musical Tickets are $25, and $20 for the Sunday is tested on animals]. On a scale of 1-10 of director Chris Rieder and accompaniest matinee show. animal activism, I’m like a strong 6-7. For me Andrew Sargent. The Colony Theater is located at 1040 to say that is ridiculous, but because I know “This show will highlight a broader Lincoln Road in Miami Beach. they’re all 10s, I have to say it. That’s the number of the member’s individual talents For tickets or more information, visit point of comedy.” for music,” said Akens. “It should prove to www.SobeGayChorus.org or the Colony She says people should not complain be a very special event” Theater box office, or call Dave Etz at when comedians make fun of certain groups. As has become a staple of chorus 305.672.5191. Q2 www.ExpressGayNews.com • May 6, 2002 CYMK www.ExpressGayNews.com • May 6, 2002 Q3 CYMK Pumping It Up with By Ian Drew Maximum Volume New Album Releases Loud Timo Maas Circuit Alive Kevin Aviance (Perfecto/Kinetic/BMG) Music from the Motion Picture (Emerge) Just when listeners were beginning to doubt whether (Emerge) The diva himself returns with this latest 2002 could turn out a new dance music sensation, out Don’t judge pumping ditty, this time putting real vocal pops this eclectic debut album from a trance purveyor an album by its power into his performance more than ever who has already earned his stars producing remixes for cover.