Diddy and Tux Season I Episode 1.1 Chapter 1.1 The monguin is a monkey-penguin hybrid. His head has very monkey ears, binocular vision, and a flexible bill with teeth, nostrils, and tongue. His arms are flattened as if they were the wings of penguin given elbows and tipped with webbed hands including four fingers and a thumb each, identical to the feet almost entirely. His prehensile tail is flattened for advanced swimming. His torso is rather rounded and has a white pot belly of a penguin and a belly button of a monkey. Anatomy of a monguin is rather complex and top secret, with the brain so well developed, that many say that a monguin has as much conscience as a human once had many centuries ago. Monguins usually wear tight pants that keep them clean and healthy that matches their main fur coats almost entirely, as do every animal character you might see. This monguin is rather an enthusiastic and very bizarre monguin that did reviews on anything he can relate to the monguins such as internet memes, literature, movies, and even video games. His most recent review before getting knocked out was Assassin’s Creed Revelations, which he relates to the monguins because it defines how a monguin would be fighting. He therefore currently wears, in addition to his tight pants, as explained before, the star-patterned shirt and Nintendo hat of Diddy Kong himself. His belly button still hangs out. He recently woken up to see himself in a world that looked as if he got trapped into a wall and a typical bug of a 4th generation video game surrounds him, He keeps changing to a rather bland image of a monkey and a rather bland image of a penguin. The scene opens up with a very bland grid room with neon lights everywhere and a generic image of a monkey with a red baseball cap and a red tank top and a penguin with a red bandana. The entire scenery looks like a third-generation game mixed with a fourth generation game and hard to grasp. Angelos: I abide my heart to no wisdom, to no madness and fully. I perceive that this also was the chasing after wind, for in much wisdom is much grief, and he that increases knowledge, increases sorrow. The background reveals a Rick Astley music video of “Never Gonna Give You Up” as if the monguin has been “rick-roll’d” by the animus. Boomer: We’ve got a problem! I can’t anchor him to the memories. Too much psychological trauma; he’s rejecting the treatment—retreating. The scenery loses quality and begins to glitch. Freeman: Monguin, I need you to try and relax. Boomer: Let me try and stabilize him. Freeman: Focus. Listen to the sound of my voice; recognize that what you’re seeing isn’t real; it’s just the truth of the past; it can’t hurt you. Overtime, the image becomes really choppy as if it is about to go to a Blue Screen of Death. Boomer: Drone it! It’s not working. Freeman: Give it a moment, Ms. Valerii; it’ll adjust; the first time is never easy. Boomer: We’re losing him! Freeman: That’s enough, Ms. Valerii! Boomer: We need to pull him out, now! Freeman: Alright, monguin, we’re going to try to bring you out now! The screen changes to what appears to be the logo of Aperture Sciences. The camera views from the eyes of the monguin looking upon the face of Gordon Freeman from Half Life and Boomer Valerii from Battlestar Galactica. It switches from first-person to third person view. Boomer: Are you okay? Freeman: I told you he’d be fine! Monguin: Bombers! Freeman: Now, now, I just saved your life. Monguin: Saved my life? You kidnapped me! You strapped me into that thing! Freeman: Animus, it’s an animus. Monguin 1: Oh, I see, trying to analyze the memories of my ancestors. What’s the whole point in synchronizing the memories of a bunch of monkeys and penguins? I don’t even know you people! Why are you doing this to me? Freeman: You have information we need. Monguin: Information? I’m a web critic for cruising out loud! Do you really need an animus for me to give you a review? You want information, go to my web zone! Freeman: We know who you are, what you are. Monguin: I don’t even know what you’re talking about! Freeman: Don’t play dumb with me! There isn’t time. You are part of the Owlgle Armada, and whether you realize it or not, you have something my employers want, locked away in that head of yours. Monguin: But I’m not of the Owlgle Armada, not any more. Freeman: Yes, your file indicated as much, something about an “escape,” most fortunate for us. Monguin: What do you want from me? Freeman: For you to do as you’re told. The animus will give us instructions we need. Once we have them, you’ll be free to go. Monguin: Monguins are known for natural conscience. Do as I’m told? You’re mistaken. I am not going back in there! Freeman: Then we’ll induce a coma and continue our work. When we’re done, you’ll be left to die. Truth be told, the only reason you’re still conscious is because this approach saves us time. Monguin: You’re insane to think my ancestors are actually Kongs—wait! Freeman: So, which is it, Mr. Monguin, live or die? Monguin: So be it. Freeman: Lie down. (The monguin lies down in the animus.) A wise decision. The screen cuts to an animus screen. The animus reveals almost exactly as it has been shown in Assassin’s Creed except it instead shows a pair of single helixes that appear to be jointed every fourth strand or memory, than split into 12 groups of 5 strands each, each being a memory sequence. Each memory sequences have been grouped into 7 memory blocks with the first two and the last two memory blocks having only one sequence each, the third and fifth having two sequences each, and the fourth having four, being the longest. The monguin scrolls through the pair looking through both memory strands. Monguin: Whoa! Am I where I think I am? Freeman: You’re inside the animus! Monguin: Of course! Freeman: It’s a projector that renders genetic memories in 3 dimensions. Monguin: Genetic memory! Freeman: Are you actually familiar with the animus? Monguin: (attempting to format a poker face) Well kind of. Freeman: Looks like you need a bit of tutorial. Very well. Diddy and Tux Season I Episode 1.1 Chapter 1.2 Freeman: We’ll start simple: what is a memory? Monguin: It’s what gives us precious nostalgia like—it’s a recollection of a past event. Freeman: Specific to the individual remembering the event. Monguin: Yeah, sure. Freeman: What if I told you that the organic body not only houses an individual’s memory, but the memories of his ancestors as well, genetic memory if you will? Migration, hibernation, reproduction, how is it that these animals know where to go, what to do? Monguin: I’ve been wondering that myself after watching March of the Penguins. Freeman: You seem to be a charismatic little one, aren’t you? To answer your curiosity, animals, such as the penguins, hold the knowledge absent requisite first and experience. I've spent the last thirty years trying to understand why. Then I found something most fascinating: our DNA functions as an archive; it contains not only genetic instructions passed down from previous generations, but memories as well, the memories of our ancestors. Monguin: And the animus lets us decode and read these DNA files. Freeman: Precisely. Boomer: But there’s a problem. (Shows a pair of memory strands leading up to what appears to be the Apple Inc. logo) This is the specific pair of memories that we were trying to access. Apparently when we try to open the pair, you’re conscience sort of withdraws. You lack the confidence to step into your ancestors’ bodies. That’s what happened earlier: you got knocked out of the target memory and pushed back to a more stable state. Monguin: Let me guess: it’s because my sub-conscience is resisting given that it was a traumatic event at the very place and time it took place. Boomer: Wow, you’re so smart! How do you know so much about the animus project? Monguin: Because I’m a web critic. I review anything that’s monguin-related, in this case, a franchise featuring a lot of acrobatic talent! Boomer: Then you do know what we have to do. Monguin: Yes, start from a memory I can synchronize with and move forward from there. I see there are two parts here. I’ll just deal with one sequence and come back for another so you can piece together useful information. Boomer: Actually, we need you to synchronize both memory sequences at once. We need both memories fused together so we can get a clear picture, just like a 3D movie. Besides, we are actually in a bit of a rush. You can’t take on both memories by yourself: you need help from a sibling of yours. (turns to what appears to be the monguin’s room) Subject 28! Mickey Monguin is the running gag for Monguin’s reviews. In the reviews, Mickey Monguin casts Magic Missile with the mentioning of anything Disney in a Time Warner film, vice versa, or both reviewing something that is neither.