Making Bad Stuff Good Sandra McLeod Humphrey Royal Fireworks Press Unionville, NY Dedicated to all the young men and women with whom I have worked, both professionally and as a volunteer. You have taught me far more than I could ever teach you. Thank you! Copyright © 2012, Royal Fireworks Publishing Co., Inc. All Rights Reserved. Royal Fireworks Press First Avenue, PO Box 399 Unionville, NY 10988-0399 (845) 726-4444 FAX: (845) 726-3824 email: [email protected] website: rfwp.com ISBN: 978-0-89824-379-6 Printed and bound in the United States of America using vegetable-based inks on acid-free, recycled paper and environmentally friendly cover coatings by the Royal Fireworks Printing Co. of Unionville, New York. Contents Dear Honorary No-Name Clubber ................................ 1 Meeting 1: Garbage In, Garbage Out ............................ 2 Meeting 2: Black, Black Everywhere ............................. 6 Meeting 3: Good News, Bad News .............................. 11 Meeting 4: Choices, Choices, Choices! ........................ 15 Meeting 5: Whatever Works!....................................... 19 Meeting 6: What You See Is What You Get ................ 23 Meeting 7: Now You See It, Now You Don’t ............... 27 Meeting 8: Conscious? Subconscious? ........................ 31 Meeting 9: Messing Up Can Be Habit Forming .......... 36 Meeting 10: Attitude Is Everything! ........................... 40 Rainbows and Chocolate Chip Cookies ....................... 45 Meeting 11: Lights, Camera, Action! .......................... 49 Meeting 12: Blue, Blue, My World Is Blue .................. 54 Deviled Eggs and Dracula ............................................ 58 Strikeouts and Interceptions ....................................... 61 Meeting 13: Failure Isn’t Final .................................... 64 Baseball and Hot Dogs ................................................. 69 Chapter 14: If Only, Next Time ................................... 72 Chapter 15: Bad Day Blues .......................................... 76 Use It or Lose It! ........................................................... 80 Talent Shows and Butter!ies ....................................... 83 Meeting 16: Really Bad Stu" ....................................... 86 Meeting 17: Give a Little, Get a Little ......................... 89 Meeting 18: A Whole New Ball Game ......................... 92 Meeting 19: Our Ten Rules to Live By ........................ 95 #e Bottom Line ........................................................... 99 How we respond to what happens to us is more important than what actually happens to us. Attitude is everything! Dear Honorary No-Name Clubber This book is all about problems and what you can do about them. Problems aren’t necessarily bad. They are a part of life, and dealing with them constructively can make you a stronger person. Meeting a challenge or solving a problem can sometimes even be fun. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING! What matters is: 1) How you see the problem—as devastating or as a challenge or an opportunity. 2) What you do about the problem—whether you run away from it or whether you face up to it and deal with it. 3) And how you feel about yourself after you deal with the problem—whether you feel like a loser or whether you problem. If we face each problem as it comes and deal with it, then we’ll be more ready and able to tackle the next problem that comes along. More important than what happens to us is how we respond to what happens to us, and we have the power to choose how we respond to what happens to us. Remember, you can learn from your problems and grow stronger in the process. How you handle your problems today can give you a good start on handling tomorrow’s problems— no matter how big or small! So come along and join the members of the No-Name Club as they learn some new things about solving their problems. 1 Meeting 1 Garbage In, Garbage Out “So what do we call our club?” Lisa asked, pulling some sheets of paper out of her notebook and spreading them out on the table in the cafeteria. “How about the Losers Club since we’re all losers?” Keisha jabbed Jamal in the ribs. “Jamal, we’re not losers just because we don’t hang out with the popular kids.” Cynthia shook her head. “Let’s face it, the popular kids wouldn’t be caught dead with us. Just look at us—we’re all a bunch of losers.” Lisa was quiet for a minute, then reached for her backpack. “Guys, I think we’re forgetting why we formed this club—to help us with Ms. Jackson’s new class.” Jamal plopped himself down on his chair and let out a big sigh. “And that’s exactly why we’re all losers. Why do you think she chose us to be in her problem solving class? Think about it. She’s a guidance counselor. You don’t have to be a Lisa rummaged through her backpack and pulled out a book. and she said she chose us to be like a trial run for her. If we like the class, then she’ll offer it to other kids.” Everyone was silent. Cynthia bit her nails. Jamal popped his gum. Lisa plowed on. “I think this book we’ll be reading looks pretty cool. It’s supposed to help us solve all sorts of problems. Besides, the class only meets once a week. How hard can that be?” Cynthia pointed to the book. “Just look at the title. When Bad Things Happen. It’s making me feel worse already. 2 Garbage In, Garbage Out Seriously, how can a book help us solve problems? I call it a stupid book for a stupid class!” Mario signaled for a time-out. “Don’t you think we should at least give it a chance before we decide it’s a dumb class?” chapter last night, and I have a question for you, Mario, our computer whiz. What does ‘garbage in, garbage out’ mean?” Mario smiled. “Well, the computer can only use what the programmer puts into it. If the programmer puts in a bad program, only bad stuff will come out.” Lisa nodded. “That’s just what the book says. It compares our brains to a computer, and it says it’s really important how we program our brains.” Cynthia rolled her eyes dramatically. “Okay Miss Teacher, so what does that mean in regular English?” “I think it means,” Lisa continued, “that since our brains will try to come up with the answers to the questions we ask it, it’s important to ask it the right questions.” Mario looked up. “So it’s like if I ask myself, ‘Why do bad things always happen to me?’ then my brain is going to come up with a whole list of all the bad things that have happened to me David nodded. “I get it. So my brain is going to search my memory bank and come up with all the bad stuff that’s ever happened to me. Things like not getting invited to Melissa’s and eating lunch by myself yesterday because my friends were loser, a really big loser. But I guess my brain was just doing its best to answer the question I asked it.” Then Keisha’s eyes lit up like two headlights. “Hey, so what if you ask a different question? Like you ask yourself, ‘Why am I always so lucky?’” 3 Meeting 1 “Then I guess I’d come up with a whole different list,” replied David. “Things like my great friends, the A I got on my math test, and going to a car show with my dad this weekend.” Jamal grinned. “Yeah, I’m always asking myself why I’m such a loser, and I come up with this really huge list. I’m a loser because I didn’t make the basketball team, because I got a D on my math test, and because I’m always late for everything. Do you want me to keep going?” There was a group groan, and everybody shook their heads. Keisha was quiet for a moment, then looked at Jamal. “But what if you asked yourself a different question—like ‘What good stuff has happened?’” Jamal’s grin came back. “It’d be a totally different list. Going to the baseball game with my uncle, going camping with my cousins, and getting a B on my science test.” Lisa interrupted as she pushed her glasses back up on her nose. “So how does that make you feel?” “Actually, I’m feeling pretty good. So if my brain is going to try to answer my questions and solve my problems, then I guess I’d better ask the right questions.” “Okay, all this is very interesting, and I see what you’re getting at, but we still don’t have a name for our club.” Cynthia stood up and moved toward Mario, her eyes Just when did we even decide to become a club? I thought this was just a study group for Ms. Jackson’s class.” “I like the idea of making this a club,” David said, glancing up at Cynthia. “I say we call ourselves the No-Name Club until Monday, I say we have our club meetings every Wednesday after school so we can talk about the next chapter together.” 4 Garbage In, Garbage Out Keisha nodded. “Sounds like a plan, and I vote we meet at Lisa’s house, since it’s the closest to school.” Everyone voted in favor of calling themselves the No-Name Club and meeting every Wednesday at Lisa’s house, except for Cynthia, who just rolled her eyes again. to us—the No-Name Club. May we always ask the right questions!” Cynthia shook her head. “Jamal, you are such a nerd.” More to think about: Think of something that scares you. How do you feel? Think of something embarrassing. How do you feel? Think of something that was a lot of fun or really satisfying. How do you feel? Think of something you’re proud of doing.