DOA SINCE 1992 COVER DESIGN BY ROBERT MAESTAS VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 43 | OCTOBER 22-28, 2015 | FREE [2] WEEKLY ALIBI OCTOBER 22-2 8, 2015 OCTOBER 22-28 , 2015 WEEKLY ALIBI [3] alibi VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 43 | OCTOBER 22-28 , 2015 EDITORIAL FILM EDITOR: Devin D. O’Leary (ext. 230) [email protected] MUSIC EDITOR : August March (ext. 245) [email protected] FOOD EDITOR/MANAGING EDITOR : Ty Bannerman (ext. 260) [email protected] CALENDARS EDITOR/COPY EDITOR: Renee Chavez (ext. 255) [email protected] STAFF WRITER: Maggie Grimason (ext. 239) [email protected] EDITORIAL INTERN : Megan Reneau [email protected] Cerridwen Stucky [email protected] CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Cecil Adams, Sam Adams, Steven Robert Allen, Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny, Shawna Brown, Suzanne Buck, Eric Castillo, David Correia, Mark Fischer, Ari LeVaux, Mark Lopez, August March, Genevieve Mueller, Geoffrey Plant, Benjamin Radford, Jeremy Shattuck, Holly von Winckel PRODUCTION ART DIRECTOR/PRODUCTION MANAGER : Archie Archuleta (ext. 240) [email protected] EDITORIAL DESIGNER Robert Maestas (ext.256) [email protected] ILLUSTRATOR/GRAPHIC DESIGNER : Tamara Sutton (ext.254) [email protected] STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: Eric Williams [email protected] CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS: Ben Adams, Eva Avenue, Cutty Bage, Max Cannon, Michael Ellis, Adam Hansen, Jodie Herrera, KAZ, Jack Larson, Tom Nayder, Ryan North SALES SALES DIRECTOR: Sarah Bonneau (ext. 235) [email protected] SENIOR DISPLAY ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: John Hankinson (ext. 265) [email protected] ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES: Rudy Carrillo (ext. 245) [email protected] Valerie Hollingsworth (ext. 263) [email protected] Sally Jackson (ext. 264) [email protected] Dawn Lytle (ext. 258) [email protected] Tierna Unruh-Enos (ext. 248) [email protected] ADMINISTRATION CONTROLLER: Constance Moss (ext. 257) [email protected] ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE : Courtney Foster (ext. 233) [email protected] FRONT DESK: Desiree Garcia (ext. 221) [email protected] Taylor Grabowsky (ext. 221) [email protected] EDITOR AND INTERIM PUBLISHER: Jesse Schulz (ext. 229) [email protected] SYSTEMS MANAGER: Kyle Silfer (ext. 242) [email protected] WEB MONKEY: John Millington (ext. 238) [email protected] OWNERS, PUBLISHERS EMERITI: Christopher Johnson, Daniel Scott and Carl Petersen CIRCULATION CIRCULATION MANAGER : Geoffrey Plant (ext. 252) [email protected] INFORMATION PRINTER: The Santa Fe New Mexican IN LOVING MEMORY: Doug Albin, Martin Candelaria, Michael Henningsen, Eric Johnson, Greg Medara, Mina Yamashita INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER: Southwest Cyberport (232-7992) [email protected] NATIONAL ADVERTISING: VMG Advertising (888) 278-9866 www.vmgadvertising.com NUCITY PUBLICATIONS, INC. 413 Central NW, Albuquerque, New Mexico 87102 BUSINESS HOURS: 10AM–5PM MON–FRI PHONE: (505) 346-0660 FAX: (505) 256-9651 Alibi (ISSN 1088-0496) is published weekly 52 times per year. The content of this issue is Copyright © 2015 by NuCity Publications, Inc., and may not be reprinted in part or in whole without written consent of the publisher. All rights are reserved. One copy of each edition of Alibi is available free to county residents and visitors each week. Anyone caught removing papers in bulk will be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Yearly subscription $100, back issues are $3, Best of Burque is $5. Queries and manuscripts should include a self-addressed stamped envelope; Alibi assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. Association of Alternative Newsmedia [4] WEEKLY ALIBI OCTOBER 22-28 , 2015 deputies his dog was the one who was driving. new bicycle. When he saw her, the excited boy Whitney Beall, left a party in Lakeland on the A deputy in Manatee County spotted 26-year- ran toward his aunt to greet her. “All of a night of Oct. 9. According to police she was ODDS old Reliford Cooper III driving at a high rate sudden he was there in the air. I had to catch intoxicated and should not have been driving. of speed on the evening of Wednesday, Oct. 7. him and we tumbled onto the ground,” They know this because Beall used her cell After driving through at least two ditches, Connell said in court, according to the phone to live stream her drive home via D Cooper allegedly crashed his car into a house Connecticut Post . “I remember him shouting, broadcasting service Periscope. “I’m fucking N ENDS and fled on foot to a nearby church. ‘Auntie Jen, I love you’, and there he was drunk,” she declares on the broadcast, audibly A Churchgoers forced Cooper out and he was flying at me.” Connell claims she fell to the slurring her words. She also notes several times arrested. According to the police report, ground because of the happy hug and broke that her vehicle has a flat tire. In a Facebook WEIRD NEWS Cooper smelled of alcohol and burnt her wrist, although she never told anyone at post, Lakeland PD says it “began receiving 911 marijuana. He also told arresting officers, “I the party. “It was his birthday party and I calls from viewers of Periscope about a possible Dateline: New York wasn’t driving that car.” The police report didn’t want to upset him.” According to the drunk driver using the social media app The owner of a Mexican restaurant in NYC’s went on to note “Reliford continued to ramble lawsuit, “the injuries, losses and harms to the Periscope to broadcast herself.” The post goes Park Slope is offering a 10 percent stake in the without being questioned.” While offering plaintiff were caused by the negligence and on to note that, “as a result of the video being business to anyone who walks in the door—so deputies his unsolicited report on the evening’s carelessness of the minor defendant in that a streamed worldwide, numerous text messages long as they’re capable of devouring a 30- activities, he told them “My dog was driving reasonable eight year old under those were sent to the driver asking her to stop pound burrito. Don Chingon owner Vic Robey that car. I ran cause I wanted to. You ain’t circumstances would know or should have driving before she killed someone or herself.” has created the “Don Chingon Challenge”—a gonna find no drugs or guns on me.” Despite known that a forceful greeting such as the one The Lakeland Police Department said it does burrito described by the New York Daily News ratting out his canine companion, Cooper was delivered by the defendant to the plaintiff not provide officers “access to Periscope as an as looking like “a large toddler.” The steak- charged with DWI with damage to property, could cause the harms and losses suffered by authorized software tool,” but one officer used chicken-pork-rice-avocado-cheese burrito aggravated fleeing with injury or damage, the plaintiff.” While in court Connell said she his personal account to locate the driver. weighs in with an estimated 25,000 calories leaving the scene of a crash with property suffered from lingering wrist pain. “I was at a Based on his observations, the officer and costs $150. If you finish it all in one damage and resisting arrest. party recently and it was difficult to hold my eventually found Beall driving her 2015 sitting—including the salsa—you get a cut of hors d’oeuvres plate,” she testified. As noted in Toyota—complete with flat front tire— the restaurant’s business. According to the Dateline: Connecticut the Post , “Sean, whose mother died last year, eastbound on Carpenter’s Way. As the officer official rules, “any bathroom breaks or A jury deliberated less than 30 minutes before appeared confused as he sat with his father, approached, Beall’s vehicle “abruptly hit the discharge of bodily fluids of any kind will result dismissing the case of 54-year-old human Michael Tarala, in court.” Obviously the jury south curb with the right front tire/wheel.” in forfeit.” The current world record for resources manager Jennifer Connell, who was was not sympathetic to Connell’s pain and The driver failed standardized field sobriety burrito-eating sits at 14.25 pounds. suing her 12-year-old nephew for hugging her suffering, deliberating only 25 minutes and tests, refused to take a breathalyzer test and too hard. Connell was trying to sue Sean awarding her $0 in compensation. was arrested on charges of DUI. a Dateline: Florida Tarala for $127,000 based on an incident that According to the Bradenton Herald , a drunk happened at the boy’s 8th birthday party back Dateline: Florida Compiled by Devin D. O’Leary. Email your weird news to [email protected]. driving suspect who led authorities on a high- in 2011. According to Connell, she arrived at A 23-year-old woman was arrested after web- speed chase before he was arrested told the party to find the boy playing outside with a streaming her DUI live on the internet. OCTOBER 22-28 , 2015 WEEKLY ALIBI [5] [6] WEEKLY ALIBI OCTOBER 22-2 8, 2015 NEWS | UNM WATCH NEWS CITY BY TY BANNERMAN Test Scores, Pot Doubtful It Stood Petitions and A good victory and a great loss Polluted Water BY AUGUST MARCH Polluted water from Gold King NM held its annual homecoming Mine to be treated festivities and I went to the big game. I’ve wo months after the EPA Ueschewed the cherry and silver over the accidentally released a flood of years, but as an alum occasionally think on Tcontaminated water into a tributary “the Harvard on the Rio Grande”—especially of the Animas river during a routine when it affects the greater Albuquerque abandoned mine inspection, things are community. And while certain aspects of the finally looking up for the polluted school are on the rise —perhaps even the perennially losing Lobo Football squad, it’s waterway. According to a story in the shocking to have confirmation that it’s still Durango Herald , the EPA has begun scandalous-business-as-usual for other parts of operating a portable water treatment my old school.