University of Massachusetts Amherst ScholarWorks@UMass Amherst Doctoral Dissertations 1896 - February 2014 1-1-1996 Parents by adoption : differing perspectives of couples in the formation and launching stages of the adoptive family life cycle. Suzanne J. McGowan University of Massachusetts Amherst Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.umass.edu/dissertations_1 Recommended Citation McGowan, Suzanne J., "Parents by adoption : differing perspectives of couples in the formation and launching stages of the adoptive family life cycle." (1996). Doctoral Dissertations 1896 - February 2014. 5246. https://scholarworks.umass.edu/dissertations_1/5246 This Open Access Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by ScholarWorks@UMass Amherst. It has been accepted for inclusion in Doctoral Dissertations 1896 - February 2014 by an authorized administrator of ScholarWorks@UMass Amherst. For more information, please contact [email protected]. PARENTS BY ADOPTION: DIFFERING PERSPECTIVES OF COUPLES IN THE FORMATION AND LAUNCHING STAGES OF THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY LIFE CYCLE A Dissertation Presented by SUZANNE J. MCGOWAN Submitted to the Graduate School of the University of Massachusetts Amherst in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF EDUCATION School of Education © Copyright by Suzanne J. McGowan 1996 All Rights Reserved PARENTS BY ADOPTION: DIFFERING PERSPECTIVES OF COUPLES IN THE FORMATION AND LAUNCHING STAGES OF THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY LIFE CYCLE A Dissertation Presented by SUZANNE J. MCGOWAN Approved as to style and content by: Janine Roberts, Chair Allan Feldman, Member y W. Jackson, Dean ol of Education ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would like to express my thanks to the twelve couples who so willingly shared their stories about forming and being adoptive families. I learned from them, especially, of the trust we receive when we become parents by adoption. My thanks also go to Ann Henry who taught me to understand and appreciate my membership in the adoption triad. And, finally, I am deeply grateful to the birth parents of my two children. They gave me the opportunity to be a mother. During the process of writing this dissertation, many people were helpful. My husband Jon unstintingly gave of his time and energy to provide technical support services. Julie Shaw and Jody Soucie transcribed all the interview data. Janine Roberts focused my work and supported my thinking while also providing ongoing encouragement. I am grateful to all of them for their kindness and caring and also to David Johnson and Garrett McAulife, my first mentors. IV ABSTRACT PARENTS BY ADOPTION: DIFFERING PERSPECTIVES OF COUPLES IN THE FORMATION AND LAUNCHING STAGES OF THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY LIFE CYCLE SEPTEMBER 1996 SUZANNE J. MCGOWAN, A. B., CHATHAM COLLEGE M. A., UNIVERSITY OF MASSACHUSETTS AMHERST Ed. D., UNIVERSITY OF MASSACHUSETTS AMHERST Directed by: Professor Janine Roberts Sealed adoption records support the notion that adoptive families are the same as biological families and that adoptive parenting should mirror biological parenting. Whether adoptive parents subscribe to these beliefs is not really known, since they have had few opportunities to tell about this way of being a family. The research involved a narrative analysis of the stories told conjointly by six couples in the formation stage and six couples in the launching stage of the adoptive family life cycle; this reflexive research demonstrates the collaborative nature of social constructionism. The research subject (the storyteller) and the research interviewer (the listener) create meaning together through the questions and responses, the interviewer's interpretation of the narrative and then the checkback which allows the storyteller to indicate disagreement or enlarged understanding. Adoptive couples with young children were found to believe that their family is not very different from biological families while the couples with children leaving home were assessing their parenting and the strength of their family ties. Overall, the couples seem to be constrained by their cultural understanding of parenthood. v TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ACKNOWLEDGMENTS. iv ABSTRACT. v Chapter 1. ISSUES IN ADOPTION. 1 Introduction . 1 Context. 1 Statement of the Problem and Rationale. 3 Research Questions . 4 Research Methodology. 4 Significance and Limitations. 6 Definition of Terms. 7 Organization of Subsequent Chapters. 9 2. PERSPECTIVES ON THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY. 10 Traditional Closed Adoption. 10 Open Adoption. 13 The Family Life Cycle. 15 Research Perspectives on the Adoptive Family. 19 Communication about Adoption. 20 Acknowledging Adoption. 23 Stage 3: The Newly Formed Adoptive Family. 25 Disclosure of Adoption. 26 Developmental Perspective on Adoption Disclosure. 28 Tasks for Adoptive Families in the Formation Stage. 32 Stage 5: Launching Adoptees and Moving On. 33 Search. 35 Summary. 41 vi 3. A REFLEXIVE METHODOLOGY 43 Narrative and Social Constructionism. 43 The Vocabulary of Self Narrative. 45 Evaluation of Narratives. 47 The Interpretation of Interview Narratives. 51 The Interview. 51 Transcriptions and Profile Narratives. 53 4. PARENTS BY ADOPTION. 58 Research Decisions. 58 Adoptive Couples in the Formative Stage of Family Development. 63 A Positive Way to Form a Family: Charlie and Marie, Adoptees Michael and Tina, ages 6 and 22 months. 64 Raising Adopted Children is Different from Raising Biological Children: Frank and Stephanie, Adoptees Lee and Kim, ages 8 and 4. 66 Optimism: Fred and Stella, Adoptee Olga, age 5. 67 A Real Family: Bill and Rose, Adoptee Liam, age 6. 69 The Difficulties of the Adoption Process: Michael and Elaine, Adoptee James, age 4. 71 A Simple Twist of Fate: Ken and Margaret, Adoptee Anne, age 4. 73 Deciding to Become Parents by Adoption. 74 Telling About Adoption: A Developmental Task. 78 Adoption Doesn't Make Any Difference. 82 Adoptive Parents in the Launching Stage of Family Development. 86 A Needy Child Dominates Parenting: Marie and Atherton, Adoptees Ivan and Roann, ages 25 and 21. 87 A Happy Family: Josephine and Fred, Adoptee Nancy Ann, age 23. 89 We Are the Family We've Become: Gail and George, Adoptee Ayeesha, age 24 and six other adoptees ages 6 to 14. 91 Accepting Our Children's Health Issues: Jo and Jean Pierre, Adoptees Ana and Eduardo, ages 20 and 12. 93 She Still Needs Us: Millie and Stan, Adoptee Victoria, age 17. 95 The Ups and Downs of Adoption: Tami and Bill, Adoptee Susan, age 17. 97 How They Became Parents by Adoption. 99 vii Developmental Tasks in the Launching Stage of Family Development... 102 Launching and Search: Developmental Tasks.106 Adoption Does Make a Difference.110 Summary: Acknowledging Two Families in Adoption.114 5. REFLECTIONS ON REFLEXIVE RESEARCH.117 Telling My Own Story.117 Answering the Research Questions.119 Conjoint Interviews and Stability Narratives...123 Future Research with Adoptive Parents.125 Evaluating the Narratives of Adoptive Parents. 128 Epilogue.131 APPENDICES A. THE INTERVIEW QUESTIONS.132 B. FIRST LETTER TO PARTICIPANTS.134 C. PERSONAL DATA FORM.135 D. VOLUNTARY CONSENT FORM.136 E. INTERVIEW WITH CHARLIE AND MARIE.137 F. PROFILE NARRATIVE FOR CHARLIE AND MARIE.188 G. CHECKBACK LETTER.202 H. REQUEST FOR FEEDBACK.203 BIBLIOGRAPHY.204 viu CHAPTER 1 ISSUES IN ADOPTION Introduction Talk, generally, has been considered to be a clinical tool, the means by which counselor/client interactions are conducted. The study of interview transcriptions, however, has brought talk out of the consulting room and into the arena of research. Qualitative research takes people's talk to be data. Over the past several years, my interests in adoptive families and in the methods of qualitative research have been developing while my own adoptive family has also grown and changed. I have used participant observation to complete a study focused on a support group for birth parents and adult adoptees involved in searches. Following that, in-depth interviews which detailed the meaning of search and reunion to a birth mother, an adoptive mother and "their daughter" were the foundation of my comprehensive examination. As a result of this work, I have become aware of the demands for adoption reform. For example, the practice of open adoption permits mutually agreed upon levels of contact between a child's adoptive family and the birth family. Unsealing the birth records would give adult adoptees legal access to personal information about themselves that is now denied them. CQntgxt All adoptees have two families: a birth family and an adoptive family. Adoption practice in the United States, however, is based on sealing court records, which makes a secret of the adoptee's family of origin and the circumstances of her/his relinquishment. Sealed adoption records are often defended on the basis of protecting 1 the privacy of both the birth mother and the adoptive family. Paradoxically, this practice renders adult adoptees powerless because adult treatment is not accorded them in this extraordinarily personal issue. In the meantime, trends in adoption make secrecy superfluous. There has been dramatic change in adoption since the 1970's. With the advent of widely available contraception and the legality of abortion, fewer Caucasian infants have been available for placement. This change has led to increasing numbers of international adoptions, special needs adoptions and of open adoptions as well. Children from the countries providing the largest numbers of international adoptees — South Korea, the Philippines,