, Ne,vs Opinion News of the World: Diversity is The Crisis in Kosovo Sheinbein Murder advantageous for Tria] New College -page4 -pageS Volume VIII, Issue 7 april fools! April 1, 1999 Candidate explains new theory of Earth's inner structure Michael Bergman is interested in research, teaching more upper level physics classes by Mario Rodriguez ring would run the length of the physical affinities had him enter- kind of stuff." Michael Bergman, the third and Earth parallel to its axis. Bergman taining notions of courses in fluid Bergman is Professor of Physics final candidate for two new physics concluded this would result in crys- mechanics, geophysics and compar- at Simon's Rock College, a small positions at New College, spoke on tal columns, or dendrites, spanning ative planetology. He expressed liberal arts college located in Friday, March 19, in Selby 12. He the length of "J, all . d interest in Boston. New College students re­ presented his model explaining the the planet. m re y lffip resse seismology, minded him of Simon's Rock differences between the speed and "What I've th h meteorology College, both in terms of curiosity amplitude of waves passing through suggested," he because even oug and the fluid of students and class size. A college the Earth at different locations. said, "is that mechanics of 350, most Simon's Rock students Earthquake waves, for example, crystals in the the resources [here] of oceanog- enter before they finish high school move faster and are more powerful inner core of raphy, in search of accelerated courses. at higher latitudes than at the equa­ the Earth are aren't all that great, hnoadtindgonhee Many transfer to a larger college tor. not growing after their sophomore year--a school tradition. Experts disagree on the inner spherically out- ncouumrseeros~sor structure of the Earth, the key to un­ ward, but there's real interest on ,, "It makes for kind of an interest­ derstanding these discrepancies. because of the th f h £ u1 non-science ing place," he said, "but here's the Some believe the core is an iron pattern of beat e part 0 t e ac ty specialists. catch: 1 have no qualms with the crystal more than 1,400 miles in di­ flow, they're [ d h] " "One course students, but there are only 350. ameter. Others envision a core of growing cylin- t O 0 researC . I bad a lot Now this place is small, but that's churning molten iron. The churning dricall y of fun even smaller." convection. would attenuate and slow waves called "The Dynamic~' and it cluses if offered one two new Rather than the core convecting, traveling across them, but not those was kind of an earth science physics positions at New College. Bergman suggested molten iron moving along their length. course.. .! think that might be kind Optics and a second semester of convects neat away m a ring of Beyond the standard fare of of a popular course here because of classical mechanics listed amon~ h~ columns surrounding the core. The physics courses, Bergman's geo- people in bio and chemistry--marine @EE "PHYSICS, ON PAGEs I Marilyn Manson: complete with controversy and effects Despite protesters and mediocre opening bands, Manson gives a good performance by David Saunders he praise such a blasphemous individual." The A diverse crowd of people, clad in the most atmosphere outside the arena seemed to be stim­ shocking clothes they owned, descended upon ulating for all. the Ice Palace in downtown Tampa on Saturday, The opening act on that evening was Monster March 27. Whether accessorizing with silver Magnet. To the average Monster Magnet fan, it chains or excessive make-up and leather-bound wa apparently an exciting show. However, to bibles and crosses, freaks from all over South anyone who was not a fan, it was quite boring, Florida came to see and be seen. There were seeming at times to be more like a self-help sem­ those who had been elaborately laced, buckled inar than a concert. The only event that could be and taped into their nicest fetish gear and those considered a highlight was when they announced Marylin Manson: Superhero or tool of the devil? dresses in their freshly pressed and starched plaid their last song, "Space Lord, Mother-F*cker," rising sound and incredible visuals of the back­ suits; both cases seemingly to discomfort the and two female dancers stepped up to each side drop, the cross and the band members all made a other contingency. The occasion? Marilyn of the stage. During the song, both ladies, pulled very compelling introduction. They then Manson's concert. their shirts down to present their breasts under­ launched into a great performance, starting with Undoubtably one of the most controversial neath ill-fitting pasties. It might have been "The Reflecting God." They played an excellent groups in rock today, Marilyn Manson's presence enjoyable, had either women been able to dance. mix of old and new, pleasing all fans, old and was not a welcome one to many local religious As it was, they bad the combined physical grace new. groups. Many God-fearing people felt that it was and charisma of Don Knotts. Finally, Monster All throughout the show, excellent effects their responsibility to approach the concert-goers Magnet and their entourage left. added to the great musical performance. Many and inform them of how they have been led After a short break for the crew to set up the pyrotechnic stunts accented the show, as well as astray. In fact, this journalist was accosted by an equipment, the arena went dark. Strange noises fake snow, and explosions of glitter. At one elderly couple, who felt the need to shout at him and samples started to play. The curtains point, a woman dressed as a Nazi-esque police that, "if be bad been raised by a decent family, he opened, revealing Marilyn Manson crucified on a officer came on-stage and shot Marilyn, who was would not dress in such a vile manner, nor would rising cross made of television monitors. The . - ~:MANSON. ON PAGB4 ,; I 2 The Catalyst April 1 , 1999 George Bush Jr. resigns, discounts possibility of Now I fear that generations of American youth are being led astray by Presidential run my unfortunate mistake. I no longer deserve the respect or the trust of the American people for that reason alone." George Bush Jr., the popular governor of Texas and the seemingly Although the exact nature of Bush's involvement with the Teletubbies anointed front runner for the Republican presidential nomination, re­ TV show remains unclear, the admission was enough to bring his for­ signed three days ago, vowing never again to hold national office. Bush merly impressive approval rating to nine percent. Senate majority made a statement, "I have done some things I am not proud of. I cannot leader Trent Lott said, "At least Bush made to right decision, bowing help but feel a deep moral inadequacy, and therefore I do not hold my­ out honorably. Perhaps now we can fmally get on with the peoples' self fit for national office. My past may soon become a matter of public business, which now consists mostly of planning Gore's inauguration." record, and I can only hope the American people will judge me with Is the Tinky-Winky candal the kiss of death for the GOP? Only time that moral leniency for which they are so renowned." will tell. Pundit all over the country were stunned, and Bush's announcement is giving rise to intense speculation about the former governor's past in­ Milosevic accedes to NATO demands under the discretions. Two days ago, Bush announced that be would make a full threat of torture confession to a select group of political and spiritual leaders, saying that he wanted to, "spare a candal weary nation any further description The NATO air campaign against Serbia came to a halt today as the of politician's shameless disregard for basic standards of decency." United States special envoy Richard Holbrooke threatened Milosevic One of Bush's top advisers went public yesterday, revealing that the with capture, trial, and eventual punishment. Holbrooke maintains that, former governor resigned because of past sexual indiscretions on the in a fit of temper, he shouted, "Listen Slobidan, if you don't sign this part of Bush and his wife. Bush held a press conference in which he accord, I am going to have you captured, tried, and then taped to a confirmed that he and his wife had sex before marriage, but maintained chair and forced to listen to Celine Dion singing the theme song from that there was another reason for his resignation. Bush said, "Although Titanic for the rest of your natural days." it may surprise some of you the I was once a sex-crazed hooligan and Although Milosevic signed the treaty, the Serbian dictator has filed my wife was once a tramp, this past indiscretion on our parts is not my charges with the world court, maintaining that the threat violated guilty secret. The truth is far worse than any of you could imagine. United Nations conventions prohibiting torture. The court bas not yet In my younger days, when I was young and irresponsible, I commit­ reached a verdict. ted a horrible crime that will effect generations to come. I conceived of Information compiled from the New Guinea Post, the Daily Planet, and characters called the Teletubbies, including that infernal Tinky-Winky. the New York Times. Foundation surplus realizes Pei's vision Proposal includes new dorm rooms, better food service by Marlo Rodriguez Everyone immediately submitted a prospectus own.