clubs | bars | cabaret | life 18 BIG JUICY HOT NOBS! GAY LONDON /0tMARCH QXMAGAZINE.COM Suitable only for persons years of 18 and over. the only gay scene award that matters… print + web + iPad + iPhone Part 1 of 2 When it comes to gay scene awards, forget the rest, it’s all about the HOT NOB AWARDS. After all, we all know there’s nothing better than a big juicy nob. And after our inaugural event last year went down a storm in Rotherhithe, QX is proud to present the Hot Nob Awards 2014. ‘Gay’ of the Year These awards are entirely biased and based on no merit whatsoever other than our own bad judgement, personal favourites, those who perform sexual favours for Tom Daley us, our general cuntiness or simply the bitchiness of our come-downs. But note QX says: Well, strictly this: the Hot Nob Award is the ULTIMATE honour for gay Londoners. Gurl, if you not a ‘gay’. Not. At. All. haven’t won a Hot Nob … you simply haven’t been working your nob worthiness hard enough! Yes, bitch, you need to work that nob harder! And so, hereforthwith are this year’s astounding winners of our fair gay scene’s most desired accolade… Best Hot Nob Outstanding of the Year Contribution to the Gay Scene Hayley @ G-A-Y (may she rest in peace) Arse of thePresident YearVladimir Putin of Russia Peter Tatchell QX says: Tatchell goes where no Hot Nob dares QX says: Hot Nobs are to! He fights the good Runner-Up: aspirational. These two are fight and won’t take ‘no’ President Yoweri just red raw arses. for an answer. All you Hot Nob wannabes owe your Museveni of Uganda freedom of expression to the actions of men like this and their tireless team of supporters. 2 r o cke f th Best Actor and Supporting u e Actress in a Clubbing Role S Y b e o a r N Issac Jones and Matt Bogard Sandra at Room Service QX says: Sweeping the board of the QX says: YUM! Hot Nob Awards once again. (Or should that be sucking…) Lady Imelda at The Black Cap Runner-Up: Oozing Gloop for losing his tit at East Bloc Runner-Up: Minty and Barbara Bush at DJs Work QX says: Umm...! 2nd Runner-Up: John Sizzle Honourable Mention: Best Clublub Titti La Camp for truly Boy Scouts of America inspiring tits Mr Happy-Go-Lucky of the Year QX says: This bloke at XXL is the epitome of a good time gal. Best Bar Best “Don’t Fuck Kit Kat With Me” Face QX says: Who doesn’t love a four-finger treat? Myra DuBois We are dripping in anticipation for the rumoured, limited edition five-finger version (still talking about the chocolate bar). Best Rylan Lookalike QX says: Wait… is it? No, surely not. Or is it…? ° 3 Best Make-Under Jason Reid at The Windsor Castle QX says: Blend is not her friend. Best Thatch-Snatch Myra DuBois Runner-Up: Jonny Woo QX says: We’re certain Maggie would have approved. Nob Best WetPopcorn Runner-Up: White Swan Honourable Mention: Jeremy Joseph at Best OTT Trio Tough Mudder Jodie Harsh, Fat Tony and Daniel Lismore at Deelooded Runner-Up: Tasty Tim, Dusty O, Best Visage Lady Lloyd QX says: A closely Ollywood fought contest. Runner-Up: Cesare ‘Chez’ Polini at Fitladz QX says: * pass the wet wipes * Best Scousebrow Glendora at Kazbar QX says: High brow fashion. ° 4 The Victoria QX says: This is the orgy that Grindr forgot. Best Hot Socks Me mb old er G-A-Y Porn Idol G o f th QX says: We love Best Kept ‘Tache e everything about this Y La Pequêna at Dish e guy’s… socks. Really. a Just the socks. r Jonny Woo at Summer Rites QX says: The wanger to end all wangers. FOCUS Most Inspired Couture Headwear Fabio Luigi at The Bridge QX says: Alexander McQueen would have Best Celebrity PA Kylie Cardboard Cut-Out died for one of these… at Manbar Best Halitosis Guard/ Hannibal Lecter Tribute Act Part 2 QX says: This dude at Biggest ‘Wicked The Musical’ Tribute Act NEXT Matinée forgot his La Voix at Two Brewers WEEK Listerine Runner-Up: Charlotte Church at G-A-Y 6 THE INFORMERTHE WHO, WHAT, WHY, WHERE, WHEN OF GAY LONDON… THE TAVERN’S GOT TALENT The Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY Friday 21st March, doors 7pm, show 8pm. £5 advance, £8 OTD. www.rvt.org.uk Aspiring performers and talented taverners battle it out in front of the judges in this fundraiser for the Food Chain charity. Hosted by Mzz Kimberley, there’s music from Howard Turner and Rob C, and judges Simon Le Vans, Titti la Camp WIN A SIGNED and Stewart Who? SYMPHONICA ALBUM! Good fun for a www.georgemichael.com great cause. Global superstar George Michael is releasing his sixth solo album ‘Symphonica’ on March 17th, recorded during the tour of the same name in 2011 and ’12, and produced by the legendary Phil Ramone alongside George himself. You could win a signed copy by emailing your name and address to [email protected] - to arrive by 5pm on Wednesday 19th March. Please enter ‘SYMPHONICA COMP’ in the subject fi eld. Winners picked at random. Good luck. Titti La Camp Mzz Kimberley MOOVZ vs DWV www.moovz.com All fans of American drag pop group DWV had better get their memberships to LGBT social networking site Moovz now, because their live special that was broadcast last Tuesday is now available to be viewed in the VOD section! STONEWALL SILENT POLARI FIRST BOOK PRIZE AUCTION Retail partnership with WH Smith – open for submissions www.stonewall-onlineauction.com www.polariliterarysalon.co.uk Stonewall has launched its annual Equality Dinner The call for submissions for this year’s Polari Silent Auction, featuring once-in-a-life-time lots First Book Prize has been made! And this from Elton John, Marlene Dietrich and Alan Carr. The year, for the fi rst time, the shortlisted Silent Auction – which supports Stonewall’s ongoing books will be displayed at major WH work to stamp out homophobia in Britain and around Smiths Travel outlets across the UK. The the world – is open online to bids from everyone. Bidders Polari First Book Prize is named after Elton John have a chance to scoop two tickets to see London’s award-winning LGBT literary Elton John in Paris as well as to take home salon, founded in 2007 and named LGBT Marlene Dietrich’s cuffl inks, and a meet- Cultural Event of the Year in the Co-Op and-greet with TV’s chatty-man Alan Respect ‘Loved By You’ Awards 2014. The Polari Founder Carr, amongst Prize is for a fi rst book that explores the Paul Burston many other lots. LGBT experience and is open to any work of Bidding closes poetry, prose, fi ction or non-fi ction published on midday in the UK between 2nd February 2013 and 1st February 2014. Writers 20th must be born or resident in the UK and self-published works in both March. print and digital formats are eligible for submission. Marlene Dietrich Alan Carr 8 GET GIFI www.mygifi .com Don’t You Know GIFi is a next-generation social app for gay men now Who I Am? available to download on CHRIS iPhone and Manager @ The Quebec Android. Built on a disruptive technology platform, GiFi aims to Where are you from? Not what I would call a change forever I’m originally from fair question but for ‘all the way guys who Nottingham and now living time showgirl’ I’ve been like guys and their in Shoreditch, the new new speechless at the shows friends interact. The London. of Betty Legs Diamond. GiFi mantra is one of How old are you? (Real age Saying that, I saw Miss inclusivity, community and make believe) Jason this week for the and non-judgement 38 but never a day over 25 fi rst time and I was which it achieves via a Describe yourself in fi ve bowled over. mobile app that allows words. What makes the London members to build a support Fun, extrovert, emphatic, gay scene so special? network, fi nd new friends, stay persuasive & ambitious. The different concept bars in touch with existing friends, Sum up your personality catering for everyone’s look for a job, arrange a date or in a song title and a movie tastes. It’s not same old hook-up, all with excellent ease. title. from bar to bar: you know ‘Raise Your Glass’ (explicit what to expect when you version) by Pink andTthe pick your bar, but also the First Wives Club. cabaret seven nights a Who are your three ultimate week across London. It’s icons? amazing. ANGEL/NOW WE ARE POPE Celine Dion, Sir Tom Finney And what is the worst The London Theatre, 443 New Cross Road, SE14 6TA (who sadly just passed thing about the gay Tuesday 18th – Sunday 23rd March, £12.50 (£10 concs). away) and David Beckham. scene? www.aberyproductions.co.uk What was the fi rst gay Bitchy queens. Written and directed by award-winning writer Martin Foreman, in this venue you ever went to and What question do you double bill of one-man plays, ‘Angel’ shows a priest devoting his describe the experience in get asked the most when life to God and fi ghting daily against the temptations of the fl esh. one sentence? working? Whilst ‘Now We Are Pope’ follows eccentric gay writer Frederick Rolfe Garlands Liverpool.