Neurodiversity in Relation: An Artistic Intraethnography Esté Klar-Wolfond A Dissertation Submitted To The Faculty of Graduate Studies In Partial Fulfilment For the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy Critical Disability Studies York University Toronto, Ontario June, 2020 © Esté Klar-Wolfond, 2020 Abstract We move research creation by inventing with neurodiversity. Neurodiversity is relation. This moves autism away from the concept of dis-order and as non-relational and we untether from the pathology paradigm (Walker) to express and language otherwise. As my non-speaking son and collaborator suggests, this is a new way of “languaging” neurodiversity through art and movement to consider the question: can a good body feel without another body? to address concepts of independence and agency as it is imagined by neurotypicality. Invention allows us to remain open, without goal and directive, letting movement, relation and creation unfold to think of what we may not have yet conceived. We extend the idea narrative towards artistic experimentation and relational expression to “blast” (Wolfond) form, inspired by Melanie Yergeau’s call to “queer the lines of rhetoric, humanity and agency” (Yergeau, 2018, 25). We create the concepts of aligning and wayfaring to think about relation and support as a way of “lining to pace” (Wolfond) with perceptual and expressive diversity, and also to experiment. We question notions around authorship and intelligibility that forces to a dominant neurotypical body and form; a form that is instrumental and directional. We propose the notions of relation and support as mutual, and also, incorporeal (Grosz) thereby eliding the false binary between dis/abled and my supposed hierarchical role to fix my son or direct this project. An ecology of practices as “a tool for thinking through what is happening: a co-becoming as a habitat of practices” (Stengers, 2005; Manning, 2016; Massumi, 2015b), becomes within the relational event as artistic intraethnography that thinks about the conditions and techniques for neurodiversity. We think ii that creative and collaborative speculation through the arts to find our own language. Our practices “think with sticks,” (Wolfond), rubber bath toys, tics, hums and hand-flaps, space and pace, and our work emerges through improvisation, movement and poetry in our film S/Pace (Klar & Wolfond, 2019). Synesthesia and proprioception are the intramodal-relational expressions that shift our thinking about support, care, and research-creation outside the pathology paradigm, moving us toward mutual attunement that changes the way we intrarelate. iii For my mother, Helen Irene Klar, who passed away near the completion of this dissertation For my dad, Michael Klar who encouraged me to think differently And always, for my son, Adam Wolfond. iv Contents Abstract ii List of Images vii Dissertation Portfolio x note on language xiii citing with neurodiversity xiv OPEN 1 Aligning aligning 3 let’s go for a walk 7 neurodiversity moves 18 neurodiversity in relation 28 intraethnography 31 the incorporeal and the intrarelation 37 facilitation as collaboration 41 proprioception (relational-motional) as intrarelation 43 distancing relation 53 rallying strange horizons 56 questioning knowledge 65 research creation 67 Process artistic process as intrarelation 69 attunement 74 sharing the work at esteerelation.com 81 process as contribution 84 inventing with neurodiversity 95 past present process 97 force of habit 100 managing together 103 intuition and movement 108 v Language Intelligence Sense language politics, identity, vulnerability 120 parsing the sensory (affective) field 129 questioning intelligence 132 subjectivity and identity 135 transitioning 140 the break 147 intrarelational expression 157 the masterful ticcer 161 i want more say in how i am touched 171 Collecting-Arranging wayfaring 175 saturating language 179 the rhythm carries 181 patterns of motion 186 relationshapes or, answers toward questions other than what is autism 190 flying and landing patterns 200 S/Pace 205 I am Collected 211 Surviving surviving moving artmaking 214 Acknowledgements 222 References 224 Appendices The A Collective 244 Syllabus Suggestions: Activating Techniques for Neurodiversity 258 vi List of Images 1. Photo: Klar, pathway of rubber path toys, 2018. 12 2. Photo: Klar, Adam in Studio with Sticks, 2018. 13 3. Film Still from S/Pace as installation at Critical Distance Centre for Curators, 2019. 16 4. Klar, Walking in the Apartment, Relationshapes Series, Pencil and Charcoal on Paper, 16x24," 2017. 55 5. Photo: Klar and Wolfond, The Shallow Hand is Thinking, Sticks, Vinyl Letters, Rubber Bathtoys, Film Installation. Installed at Critical Distance Centre for Curators, October-December, 2019. 63 6. Klar, Moving-Typing, paper and acrylic on board, 30x30," 2019. 72 7. Klar, Proprioceptive Writing, Pen, Pencil, Charcoal on Paper, Notebook, 2019. 73 8. Klar & Wolfond, Biogram: A kitchen installation made out of experiments with cut up diagnostic reports, paper models of space, drawings, paintings and other woven materials to create a woven palimpsest of thought and movement. Thought goes for a walk, 2019. 78 9. Wolfond, Drawing made with “chicken feet” machines that attached to Adam’ legs while he walked and jumped, 2017. 81 10. Photo Still of Adam, from Diversity-in-Diversity, Inflexions, 2019. 83 11. Klar, The Movement of Thought, Watercolour on Paper, Notebook, 2018. 85 12. Photo, Adam carrying large stick, 2018. 86 13. Klar & Wolfond, Biogram: the way our feelingthinking moves us, 2019. 92 14. Klar & Wolfond, Biogram detail, tulle, stick against window, 2019. 93 15. Photo: Experimenting with repetition, A Collective, 2018. 100 16. Film Stills from S/Pace, 2019. 101 17. Photo: Biogram Detail, Reforming Diagnosis: “well below average,” 2018. 104 18. Klar, Sentence, Relationshapes Series, Pen on Paper, 9x11”, 2018. 113 19. Klar, The A Collective, Relationshapes Series, Pen & Watercolour on Paper, 18 x 14,” 2018. 120 vii 20. Klar, The Typical Classroom, Relationshapes Series, Watercolour & Pen on Paper, 18 x 14,” 2018. 130 21. Klar, Stop Talking, Charcoal & Pencil on Paper, 18 x 14,” 2017. 138 22. Film Still, Painting on Film, 2019. 140 23. Klar, The Time it Takes to Get Out the Door, Relationshapes Series, Charcoal & Pen on Paper, 9 x 11,” 2017. 143 24. Photo of Adam’s Flapping Fist with object in it, 2018. 144 25. Photo: Klar, Moving with Adam in Studio, 2018. 145 26. Film Still, S/Pace, 2019, shows my hand that touches Adam’s back that activates his movement to type. My hand does not move, but there is a lot of movement in the act of typing. 146 27. Klar, The Team Meeting, Relationshapes Series, Pen & Watercolour on Paper, 18 x 14,” 2017. 149 28. Klar, The Energy of Behaviourism, Relationshapes Drawing, Charcoal on Paper, Notebook, 2017. 151 29. Klar, Glass-Breaking, Relationshapes Drawing, Charcoal on Paper, Notebook, 2017. 154 30. Klar, The Behaviorist and Adam, Relationshapes Drawing, Charcoal on Vellum, 6 x 3,’ 2018. 155 31. Klar, Adam & Me. Relationshapes Drawing, Charcoal on Paper, 18x14,” 2017. 156 32. Klar, Seizing-Hesitating Path on a Walk, Pen on Paper, 9x11,” 2017. 168 33. Klar, What the therapists call avoidance, Relationshapes Series, Pen & Pencil on Paper, 9x11,” 2017. 170 34. Photo: Rubber Bathtoys “landing” in Studio, 2018. 176 35. Klar, Water Shaping, Pen and Pencil on Paper, Notebook, 2019. 177 36. Klar, Cut Diagnostic Reports in vellum with ink, stitched, 2019. 178 37. Photo of Adam’s poetry “Like Water I Am” underwater, 2018. 179 38. Klar, Notebook, 2018. 180 39. Klar, Notebook, Water & Pen on Paper, 2019. 186 40. Photo: Shadows of Adam’s Stick-waving, tapping movement, 2018. 187 41. S/Pace Exhibition Installation, 2019. 188 42. Getting Ready for Exhibition at The A Collective 189 viii 43. Klar, Stuck in the Bathtub, Relationshapes Series, Charcoal on Paper, 18x14,” 2017. 190 44. Klar, Moving in the condo, Relationshapes Series, Pen & Watercolour on Paper, 18x14,” 2017. 191 45. Wolfond, Water Stim Painting, Watercolour on Paper, 16x24,” 2017. 192 46. Photo: Adam Wolfond & Ellen Bleiwas in Studio, 2018. 193 47. Photo: Writing with poetry and artworking, The A Collective, 2018. 194 48. Film Still, S/Pace, 2019. 195 49. Photo: Drawings of Movement in studio, charcoal on vellum, string, stick, 2018. 197 50. Klar, Squeezing-Tapping, Relationshapes Series, Charcoal on Paper, 16x24,” 2018. 198 51. Photo: Stim Toy, 2018. 199 52. Wolfond, Walking-Drawing Machine Series. He attached home-made cardboard “machines” to his body on walks to flap hands or attach to his legs to jump. These markings catch movement in relation to environment. Pen on Paper, 6x9,” 2016. 201 53. Klar, “the blasting movements of movement” (Wolfond) – the many planes/horizons and also, the objects that are always moving in the visual field, Pen on Paper, Notebook, 2018. 202 54. Photo: Adam at The A Collective relaxing “landing” with heavy weighted objects, 2019. 203 55. Photo: Adam in studio waving stick in front of blackboard. The black, he says, reduces the busyness of the visual field. He didn’t like to film this movement against the white wall. The markings next to him are movements of the stick, 2018. 204 56. Photo: S/Pace Exhibition Installation, 2019. 206 57. Photo: When we began to experiment with “poetry sticks” in studio, 2019. 207 58 & 59. Film Stills: Adam walking with sticks, S/Pace, 2019. 209-10 60&61. Drawings, Klar, Pastel on Vellum, 6x3,’ 2019. 211-12 62. Photo: Adam creating water “stim” paintings on photo-sensitive paper, 2018. named after “self-stimulatory behaviour” by psychology, Adam reclaims the stim as important movement and as a way of creation: stimvention. His hand “writes” with water, paper, sound, spacetime., 2019. 219 ix Dissertation Portfolio Dissertation Exhibitions: - 2019. S/Pace installation as part of Access is Love and Love is Complicated exhibition with film at Critical Distance Centre for Curators. - 2017. Relationshapes exhibited in group exhibition Outside the Lines: An art exhibition exploring the blurring genres of gender, body, disability and racialization.