Leader’s Guide for How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong HHooww ttoo LLiivvee RRiigghhtt WWhheenn YYoouurr LLiiffee GGooeess WWrroonngg This study and leaders guide will help you think through and apply the concepts taught in the book, How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong. This study is not a substitute for reading the book, but is meant to be a supplemental guide to facilitate discussion about personal change in a supportive environment. LEADERS GUIDE by Leslie Vernick For more information, go to www.leslievernick.com For questions, send email to [email protected] 1 Leader’s Guide for How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong Copyright All rights reserved. No part of this guide may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information and retrieval storage system, without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. ©Copyright 2011 by Leslie Vernick. All rights reserved. Published in the United States of America. For more information, go to www.leslievernick.com For questions, send email to [email protected] 2 Leader’s Guide for How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong Contents Introduction to the How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong Leader’s Guide ............................................. 4 Part I: What Moves Our Heart to Change Our Ways?................ 5 One: Rules Don’t Change Us, Relationships Do. ................. 7 Part II: The TRUTH Principle Two: TroublesandTrials: The LathethatShapesOurHeart . .. .. .. .. 10 Three: OurResponsetoLife’sTroubles ........... ................13 Four: UnderlyingIdolsoftheHeart............. .................16 Five: Truth:TheMirrortoOurHeart ............................19 Six: OurHeart’sResponsetoGod’sTruth .......................21 Part III: The Pathway to Spiritual Maturity and a Lasting Change of Heart Seven: Living to Please God Practical Application of the TRUTH Principle ................. 24 Eight: The Big Picture Using the TRUTH Principle to Reveal Idolatrous Life Themes ..... 27 Nine: Disciplines of the Heart Training Ourselves in the Ways of God ......................30 Ten: A New Way of Life Becoming Our True Self in Christ ........................... 33 For more information, go to www.leslievernick.com For questions, send email to [email protected] 3 Leader’s Guide for How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong Introduction to the How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong Leader’s Guide Before each chapter’s discussion questions, I will provide some personal thoughts about the chapter and ways to approach it. In most small groups there is never enough time to discuss everything or to even answer all the questions in-depth, but some guidelines can be of help in choosing one path over another so that the group doesn’t get lost in personal issues or tangents. It is important for you to prayerfully discern God’s leading for the group and what kind of group you desire to create so that you can structure it to be a safe and meaningful encounter for everyone. Suggested Structural Guidelines: 1. If you want this to be a growth group that shares openly, a maximum of 10-12 participants is best. When groups become larger, they gravitate toward more teaching and less experiencing. 2. A minimum of an hour and a half is necessary to adequately work through the material. You may want to devote the first 15 minutes to fellowship, and then leave an hour for discussion on the chapter using the study questions. Following the leader’s guide suggestions, you may want to linger over certain areas or invite more personal discussion. That allows 15 minutes for wrap up, announcements, or extra discussion if there is something pressing. A two-hour time slot gives greater flexibility. 3. It is recommended that this be an 11 week group which would allow for an introduction week where you go over the guidelines, hand out books, make introductions and then weekly cover the chapters in the book. If desired, you can also make it a longer group if people want to share more personal things, pray more and spend two weeks for each chapter. 4. During discussion, if a participant expresses strong feelings (cries or is anxious, etc) while sharing, take a brief moment to pray for him or her right then. A closing prayer at the end of the group time is also important, but don’t put all prayer needs at the end, possibly making prayer feel like an afterthought. 5. Leaders – please pray over the chapter you are leading, making sure you understand what is to be taught or discussed, and read over the leader’s guide suggestions. For more information, go to www.leslievernick.com For questions, send email to [email protected] 4 Leader’s Guide for How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong Part 1: What Moves Our Heart to Change Our Ways? Introduction Week Leader’s Guidelines and Discussion Questions If participants do not have books, then hand out books and assign next week’s lesson of reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 as well as completing the discussion questions. Welcome: Introduce yourself and tell why you wanted to start this group. Share some of your goals and vision for this group as God has led you. Introductions: Have participants introduce themselves and explain what they hope to gain from participating in the group. Explain Format: Go over the group guidelines (in the study guide material) as well as the structural guidelines that you’ve adopted from above. Ask if there are any questions on the guidelines and format. Discussion Time Ideas for the Introductory Session LEADER: If participants have not read the Introduction and Chapter 1 before the first meeting, use the discussion questions below. If group participants have already purchased books and have read the Introduction and Chapter 1, then you can move into the discussion questions for Week 1 and incorporate some of the questions and ideas below as time permits. LEADER: Begin discussion by asking the group: 1. Do you think knowing the truth about Jesus makes you a Christian? Draw out why they think either yes or no. (The answer is no.) Many people believe the truth that Jesus is the Son of God and died on a cross for our sins, yet they live unhappy, frustrated, empty lives. Knowing the right things intellectually is not the same thing as experiencing the one who is Truth. Perhaps the truth that they believe is informational truth not transformational truth. 2. What do you think is the difference between informational truth and transformational truth? For more information, go to www.leslievernick.com For questions, send email to [email protected] 5 Leader’s Guide for How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong Reflect on the following quote. John Piper says, “Satan has more true thoughts about God in one day than anyone of us would have in a lifetime, but he is not a Christian. The problem with the devil is not in his theology; he knows the truth. It is in his heart. He has no desire for God.” 3. If you were to write a statement that characterized your relationship with God up to this point, what would it be? LEADER: If possible, have each participant write something down. Let those who’d like to share do so. Here are some ways saints wrote of their relationship with God: Abraham said of his relationship with God: “For the Lord, in whose presence I have walked.” Genesis 24:40 David was described as “David, a man after God’s own heart.” Acts 13:22 NLT The apostle John described himself as the “disciple that Jesus loved.” John 13:23 NLT Each of these statements said something significant about the way they experienced God. 4. Ask yourself, is my relationship with God more about what I know or who I love? Although good theology is important, it is NOT sufficient in developing a deep relationship with God. Prayer: Pray together for a greater desire for God for that is what begins to move our heart to change our ways. We are looking for transformation not merely knowledge. Loving God changes us from the inside out. For more information, go to www.leslievernick.com For questions, send email to [email protected] 6 Leader’s Guide for How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong Chapter One Rules Don’t Change Us, Relationships Do Leader’s Study/Discussion Questions The goal for this week is to invite participants to deepen their desire for and intimacy with God so that "Conversion is the he might be more real to them in their everyday lives. creation of new Chapter 1 Study/Discussion Questions desires, not just new 1. Think about the people who have significantly duties, new delights, influenced your life. How have they changed it? not just new deeds, Was it for the better or the worse? new treasures, not LEADER: Another angle on this question could be – just new tasks." what kind of influences are in your life right now? Are John Piper, When I Don't Desire they drawing you closer to God or closer to the world? God 2. What do you think about the author’s statement “we have seen Christianity as more contractual than personal?” Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not? LEADER: Piper’s quote above would add good discussion here. 3. Read John 17:3 where Jesus describes what eternal life is. Have you viewed it this way in the past? How have you sought to “know God” in the past? What has that phrase meant to you? 4. Paul prays in Philippians 3:10 that he would count everything rubbish compared to knowing Christ.