Chapman University Chapman University Digital Commons Education (PhD) Dissertations Dissertations and Theses Summer 8-2020 The Labyrinth of Autism: Heuristic Journeys of Fathers Who Have a Child on the Autism Spectrum Lisa Boskovich Chapman University, [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.chapman.edu/education_dissertations Part of the Education Commons Recommended Citation Boskovich, L. (2020). The labyrinth of autism: Heuristic journeys of fathers who have a child on the autism spectrum [Doctoral dissertation, Chapman University]. Chapman University Digital Commons. https://doi.org/ 10.36837/chapman.000186 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Dissertations and Theses at Chapman University Digital Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in Education (PhD) Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Chapman University Digital Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. The Labyrinth of Autism: Heuristic Journeys of Fathers Who Have a Child on the Autism Spectrum A Dissertation by Lisa Boskovich Chapman University Orange, CA Attallah College of Educational Studies Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Education August 2020 Committee in charge: Dawn Hunter, Ph.D., Chair Whitney McIntyre Miller, Ph.D. Margie Sauceda Curwen, Ph.D. Richard Rosenberg, Ph.D. The dissertation of Lisa Boskovich is approved.· The Labyrinth of Autism: Heuristic Journeys of Fathers Who Have a Child on the Autism Spectrum Copyright © 2020 by Lisa Boskovich III DEDICATION To the voices and words of the fathers in my study who are no longer in silence. IV ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I am who I was always meant to become because of my journey at Chapman University. I did not arrive at this juncture by myself, it was the hands of each of you who held me. To write on a subject so close to my heart required my best self. I first thank the fathers in my study. Your presence and your individual journeys and courage made my study possible. I am thankful to all the faculty who have been a part of my journey at the Donna Ford Attallah College of Educational Studies. Each teacher provided support and wisdom along my path. I want to thank Leslie Fierro for all your help and support. I am deeply grateful to Dr. Dawn Hunter, my dissertation chair and mentor. Where or how do I even begin to thank you. With your ever-guiding hand and presence, I couldn't have completed this journey without you? Through the past 8 years you have either heard or read every poem or narrative I have written. Through hundreds of pages, my soul and mind have and continue to grow. If it wasn’t for one question you had the courage to ask, I never would have realized the truths about myself on this wide and beautiful spectrum called autism. As the years passed sitting across from you, it only took one raised eyebrow and I knew your expectation. Thank you for stepping back and not telling me what I needed to know. You trusted I would arrive at learnings destination and when I did, you would sit back and smile. To trust another is a gift. To learn from each other a gift I continue to treasure. I am very grateful to Dr. Whitney McIntyre Miller. Thank you for listening to me and encouraging me to sit in liminal spaces. One of the best decisions I made was taking Leading From Within and Grounded Theory from you, and the trip Peru it was so much more than an academic journey. You pushed me through your leadership and convinced me that conducting a pilot study was within my reach. You provided light along the path, not just metaphorically, but V physically when during my dissertation proposal defense, Chapman lost all power. Your continuing work regarding peace inspires me to reach higher. I am very grateful to Dr. Margie Curwen; I have learned so much from you over the past 8 years since I first took EDUC 500/501 as a master’s student. I remember the first day in class, you talked about a study you were conducting. All I could think about, I want to do a study and I did. I'll never forget when we took that extra hike at Machu Picchu, and I asked you, “would this be the part where my dissertation would begin?” You paused, “No this is the place of your proposal.” I did not understand that then, I understand now.” Margie, you told me long ago, “a writer I did become.” Thank you for always pushing me to be my best and produce my very best work through many a draft and revision. I will always be a lifelong learner. Even though you were not with me physically while I wrote my dissertation, I felt your presence each time I sat down to write. I was never alone. My appreciation to Dr. Richard Rosenberg my outsider person and committee member. Thank you for the text messages when I had asked the universe for a sign it was there. I am grateful for Dr. Don Cardinal for his support and for always reminding me to have not just one back up plan, but backup plans, 2, 3, and 4. I am thankful for the support and understanding from my parents Larry and Carol Boskovich. Carol Lepel, thank you for believing in me and thank you for all your patience. Rev Nancy Brink, to sit with another through their journey of spiritual healing is a most sacred space. You who understand the inherent power found in the healing of ritual and its importance in my life. The hours spent talking with you through the years continue to transform my life. To understand another is a gift beyond words. Thank you for hearing me, for learning VI how Asperger’s impacts one’s life and for helping me accept all the parts of the rainbow I call self. Rev Cisa Payuyo, thank you for the moments in your office when I'd stop by. Your listening ear, kind heart, and supportive soul always reminded me, I could and would finish. My feet would find their way into your office, at the Fish Center. My home, my safe place of deepest soul healing. Thank you for Wednesday night worship and communion, where through community I healed my soul. Dr. Scott De Long from our theory class where my love of theory met your pragmatism, to a night in Grounded Theory where ideas connected as our feet swung back and forth as we talked, while the rest of the class and Whitney waited smiling, to a long conversation while we waited for our plane to take off to Cusco and while the train that swayed back and forth in Peru. I have enjoyed our conversations and mutual support given. Thank you. Dr. Greg Barraza, I thank you for listening to my thoughts as they took shape through the years and then turned into my dissertation though all the classes we had together. You always listened, as if it was the first time, when I was talking about my ideas and dreams. Tom Curwen- I am grateful for your support and encouragement during this journey. To be a writer is to create from a world of words, crafted through interviews the narrative develops. Our work touches upon sacred ground as those who open their hearts and souls in their sharing trust us to tell their stories. Thank you for our conversations in Peru and our emails helped shape my thoughts regarding writing. Kristen Tarantino, my editor who read my poems along with the running narrative I wrote throughout my dissertation. I thank you for your editing and support while I wrote my dissertation. VII Mark Allen Physical Therapist extraordinaire without your help and generosity all the hours spent at an computer as I revised my dissertation, typing wouldn't have been possible. Thank you for listening and for your support. Randy Lewis, I thank you for our conversations and gifts found inside the spoken word. Flynn, to my four-legged supporter, thank you for your presence beneath my feet, and for looking at me barking, because you knew I should be at my desk writing. VIII ABSTRACT The Labyrinth of Autism: Heuristic Journeys of Fathers Who Have a Child on the Autism Spectrum by Lisa Boskovich The relationship between a father and his child on the autism spectrum (AS) is a life changing and powerful experience. However, there is a paucity in the literature about fathers and their experiences with raising a child on the AS. This research study explored the phenomenological experiences of fathers who have a child on the autism spectrum through the use of heuristic inquiry. In this study, I conducted interviews with 10 fathers whose children had an official AS diagnosis. By using Seidman’s three separate, semistructured interview method, this study highlighted fathers’ experiences and provided greater understanding into their lives. Seidman’s interview method provided opportunities for the fathers to reveal the truth in their lived experiences. They revealed their joys, sorrows, and moments that have shaped their lives. The study gathered data in key areas and are organized by the findings that emerged. These findings are organized by subquestions and include: (a) fathers’ reactions before and after receiving a diagnosis, (b) the new reality the fathers experienced, (c) the roles played by fathers in their children’s lives, (d) fathers’ views on disability, (e) the impact of the fathers’ beliefs on their views of their child and autism, (f) the experiences of fathers with two children on the AS, and (g) fathers’ experiences of personal growth.