The Morning After… Page 1 www.happyhourkickball.com On the Cover: Volume 3, Issue 2 My Little Ponies HHKB Tip of the Week: When strolling down the street, it’s important to remember to push randoms, ‘cause re- member, you’re the boss. TheThe MorningMorning After...After... Summer 2009 April 21, 2009 In this Issue: It’s issue #2 time, and with it, we are merely moments from regular sea- Into……………………………………………..2 son play and as “regular” a newslet- Actual & Factual News………………………3 ter as we are able to put out. Be- The Bethesda Back 9 Bar Crawl……………4 cause, come on, how much that ap- Back 9 Bar Crawl Map……………………….5 Schedule for 4/22 & 4/29……………………6 pears in here would you consider Team Previews……………………………….7 “normal” or “regular?” Superlatives for this Season………………22 Anyway, enjoy this second pre- Best of Deep Thoughts by Dan Holloman.23 season issue and get to know the This Season’s Weekly Awards…………...24 other 7 teams that play in HHKB with Viva La Revolucion con Fiesta Martine….25 Barking Dog Power Rankings……………..26 you! HHKB Horoscopes………………………….27 Preseason Party Pics………………………28 Chris B Conference 7N Standings Conference 7S Standings W L T % W L T % Don’t 0 0 0 Squeezt B.O.O.O.M.!!! 0 0 0 the Juice! GOT 0 0 0 Booty?! Kick in a Box 0 0 0 Looking to 0 0 0 Score My Little Ponies 0 0 0 My Girl- 0 0 0 friend can’t Wrestle, OFF R BALLS 0 0 0 but you should see her Box Team of Bumbling 0 0 0 Drunks NPAK 0 0 0 The Hobo Minority 0 0 0 Taste the 0 0 0 Report Reign Bro We’ve Got 0 0 0 the Runz Where My Pitches 0 0 0 At? The Morning After… Page 2 www.happyhourkickball.com Actual and Factual News that We did NOT Make Saturday, April 25: The 2nd Annual Bethesda Back 9 Bar Crawl! It’s a great time with some great specials. $3.00 gets you registered if you’re a HHKBer, $5.00 if not (and you bring canned goods), $7.00 without. Specials include $2.50 Bud and Bud Light Bottles, $3.00 Yuengling Drafts and other assorted specials on food and drink at each bar. Participating bars include, Union Jacks, Hard Times Café, Steamers, Saphire Café, Flannagan’s Harp and Fiddle, Wing Hub, Blackfinn, Tommy Joes and The Barking Dog Registration from 12—5 pm at Union Jacks and specials run from 12pm—9pm. Saturday, June 6: Kick Ass Party #1 to be held at the Barking Dog. Free Beer for all HHKBers, specials and a hell of a time! Get wasted and see your fellow kickballers in their nicest Saturday attire. Party starts at 7:00 pm and concludes at 11:00 pm in the sky lounge (upstairs). Theme to be determined in the coming weeks. Saturday June 13: HHKB Night out at the DC Armor! We’re heading over to the DC Armory for an afternoon of tailgating and Indoor Football. Tix are $17.00 and this will get you your fix before the NFL Season. Respond to us either through the Ning Page or via email at [email protected] Saturday, June 20: It’s the greatest time of year, the 3rd Annual Summer BEER OH LYMPICS! This wonderful event will be taking place at the Barking Dog in Bethesda starting around 12:30 pm and concluding around 6:30 pm. The events include: Flip Cup (5 people per side) Beer Pong (2 people per side) Team You Got Served (2 teams facing off around a circular table) Continuous A$$Hole (one member of every team playing at all times) The Beer Relay (takes what you did all day and slams it into one timed event) And a Mystery event to be determined! Price is on a per person basis and will be determined based on the amount of teams participating. The entry fee gets you all the beer for the OH lympics and all you can drink during the day. If you’re interested in participating email us directly at [email protected] to save a spot. Saturday, August 1: Playoff day and Kick Ass End of the Season Party. Details are still being worked out, but count on it being a great way to wind down after a long day of tournament style kickball. Awards ceremony and crowning of the Summer 2009 Happy Hour Kickball League Champion and Flip Cup Champion. Can the Kick in a Box and their porn ’staches repeat? Events Planned for the Season: A night out with the DC United, Washington Nationals, DC Armor (indoor football league), a trip tubing, a trip out to Vegas and some charitable events that we want to participate in! Rainouts —In the case of a rainout, the website will be updated by 4:00 pm, the day of the game. If the rainout oc- curs after 4:30 pm, the division heads will contact captains, or the appointed contact persons, and it will be the cap- tains’ responsibility to inform their respective teams. Of course our specials at the Barking Dog will still be honored. Referees —Each must provide a referee, either for the 6:30 pm game if you are playing at 7:15 pm or for the 7:15 pm game if you are playing at 6:30 pm. Failure to provide a referee will count as a forfeit. Forfeit Policy— Only really occur if you have less than 4 people, this will be very difficult to accomplish, so we don’t think this should be an issue… The Morning After… Page 3 www.happyhourkickball.com The Morning After… Page 4 www.happyhourkickball.com The Morning After… Page 5 www.happyhourkickball.com This week’s upcoming Schedule Field Scrimmage #2 Time Home Away (3 inning games) April 22, 2008 4 6:30 PM B.O.O.O.M.!!! Kick in a Box 5 My Little Ponies OFF R BALLS 6 Don’t Squeeze the Juice! The Hobo Minority Report 4 7:00 PM NPAK My Girlfriend can’t Wrestle but you should see her Box 5 We’ve Got the Runz GOT Booty 6 Where My Pitches At? Taste the Reign Bro 7 Team of Bumbling Drunks Looking to Score Next Week’s Schedule Field Week 1 Time Home Away April 29, 2009 4 6:30 PM GOT Booty Looking to Score 5 My Girlfriend can’t Wrestle Don’t Squeeze the Juice! but you should see her Box 6 NPAK The Hobo Minority Report 4 7:15 PM Taste the Reign Bro OFF R BALLS 5 We’ve Got the Runz My Little Ponies 6 B.O.O.O.M.!!! Team of Bumbling Drunks 7 Kick in a Box Where My Pitches At? The Morning After… Page 6 www.happyhourkickball.com Get to Know your Summer 2009 Happy Hour Kickball Teams For the first two issues of The Morning After we will be giving you a way to get to know all 14 teams by asking each captain some of the weirdest questions I could think of. See, “normal” questions don’t and won’t give you any kind of insight into the crazy that resides in all of us (or maybe just me, but whatever. So sit back, relax, maybe get a little disturbed, aroused, enlightened, who knows, but dig in and enjoy! Teams interviewed this week: We’ve Got the Runz , My Girlfriend can’t Wrestle but you should see her box! , Where My Pitches At?! , NPAK , Don’t Squeeze the Juice! , GOT Booty?! , and Looking to Score . Please note these questions have not been altered in anyway. Interview with the We’ve Got the Runz Individual interviewed, Craig Fritz, captain of We’ve Got the Runz 1) Using an adjective, a noun, and a verb, describe your team to the league…NOW buffalo, buffalo, Buffalo 2) If your team were an infomercial host, would you be more like the Shamwow guy, or Ron Popeil, the food dehydrator, knife selling, hair painting guy, or other? Vince from Shamwow NO KISSING!! 3) Who on your team is most likely to pick up a hitchhiker? Follow up question, who is most likely to stab said hitchhiker for looking at them crosseyed? Mel would probably pick up the hitchhiker, she's pretty into randoms. Kakareka would definitely stab the guy, he's got a mean streak, people. 4) If your team was an Argentinean Rugby team, and you crashed in the Andes, who on your team would suggest eating people to live, and be honest, how long would the suggestion take to come forth? Probably me . The captain can't make good decisions on an empty stomach. 5) What song will your team be demanding to hear at the Barking Dog this season? Pokeher Face Lady GaGa 6) Who on your team is most likely to cry to get out of a speeding ticket? Linah , she seems like she could let the eye faucets flow. 7) I’m thinking of a number, which one? 8008135 The Morning After… Page 7 www.happyhourkickball.com Interview with We’ve Got the Runz cont... 8) Who on your team would be the contest on the Price is Right to go $1.00 over the highest bid, thus sparking the ire of all those in the studio audience? Probably me , I'm a douche. 9) What team in the league would you say you most want to beat on the field, and on the ta- bles? Taste the Reign, Bro simply the best team name out there.