* 4/V % Glllman lectures freshmen on "RlceSpeak 99

have their own special The Student Association learning a new language. For Rice, like any other language, is a vocabularies that identify you as a traditionally asks a faculty like every institution and every practical imperative, whatever else particular insider "inside the member to address incoming calling, has its private language, it might be. In order to make sure / hedjzes" — notice how these local s students during orientation week. clear and precise to insiders, pure during this week that you get phrases tend to leap, almost Also traditionally, the Thresher babble to others — those others where you're supposed to be, unawares, to one's lips! Sid Rich presents the following excerpts marking themselves unmistake- without being too late or getting has its "Darth "Vator" and "Night from her speech: ably as "outsiders." Since very few entirely lost, you've all had to become experts at Ricespeak. You of Innocence," Baker has the 1 just want to extend a warm of us wants to be labeled an need to know, for example, that "Baker 13"a/k/a "Club 13;" Jones personal "welcome to Rice" to all "outsider," we willingly, and Sammy's is a cafeteria, not a has Sandy Rivera. Hanszen even of you in the class entering in 1984, actively participate in this process person; that Willy's is a pub as well uses a word without defining it, a portentous year. Although I see of education that begins even as a stature and a grave; that requiring or daring the astute to quite a diverse array of individuals before classes have formally Valhalla is the graduate student interpret the "McGuffin." out there, 1 know that, oddly opened and that will continue to lounge, not a Norse warrior's enough in spite of those take place far beyond the formal So in order to insure your own heaven. You also need to master differences, many of you have boundaries of the classroom walls. basic survival during this Susan Gillman the art of acronyms and come to feel part of the group spirit This education is a kind of Orientation Week, you've been abbreviations: Archi, Academ, at Rice. Certainly youVe all spent socialization that consists of memory of George Orwell's frantically learning Ricespeak and S/E, ICSA, RMC, the MOB, to the last week sharing common learning not only Rice's customs, Newspeak, the doubletalk its various local dialects. But the content myself with rattling off just experiences, getting to know a new and culture but also its language — satirized in 1984. art of mastering a language is a a few. In addition, your colleges place, meeting new people, even which I'll call Ricespeak in Of course, learning Ricespeak, see Students, page 4

INSIDE: J ! / * Nerds triumph, nauseate reviewer, see page 8 * Coach Brown discusses fall season, see page 10 _i ••• mmmmmmmma wmmm l* w Clin V_!l! t nEastwoo cVJSiW\JdW i n'I la Unl i Volume 72, Number 2 1HRESHEFriday, August R24, 1984 ! Intelligent move? See page 7. hi •••in——— in Parking plan angers faculty by David Friesenhahn faculty parking plan over the past in which to park and limited each Beset by some initial summer in an effort to insure employee to only two parking administrative problems, Rice parking spaces for all employees stickers. The second sticker is valid University's recently adopted and to curb parking abuses, such for overflow parking in the employee parking plan has drawn as faculty members giving parking Abercrombie Lab lot. In addition, the ire of many on the Rice faculty stickers to persons not associated proof of vehicle ownership was who believe that, for the time being with the university. The principal required to obtain the stickers. at least, the administration's recipients of these stickers were However, the plan proved answer to Rice's parking dilemma workers at the Texas Medical unworkable fairly early. A large may create more problems than it Center, which is across the street demand for parking spaces close to solves. from Rice. The plan required Rice's major buildings forced Ricc The administration enacted the faculty members to choose one lot Campus Police to deny some employees their first choice of lots. A letter from Rice University Scheid to advise athletes Campus Police Chief H.R. Rhodes by Ian Davidson to tackle you," he noted. At the to Rice faculty and staff on August In its continuing quest for the same time, most athletes come to 13th stated: "After receiving the ideal student-athlete, Rice has Rice for the academic emphasis, bulk of the staff applications for begun a new concept in student and often in the past, athletes have parking, we discovered that most athletic advising by hiring Dr. felt cheated when they found requests centered around two or Brown to ao co-«d in 1985; »ee itory, page Buchanan Mark Scheid as Academic Advisor themselves forced to sacrifice three lots. Needless to say, a true to Student Athletes. Scheid feels academics to sports. In addition, first come, first serve assignment of departmental secretary, "is that This lack of communication they sent out letters telling people that Rice is unique in the nation in varsity athletes must meet NCAA spaces was not at all feasible." between the administration and about the changes during the providing academic advising to the standards, requiring that they employees also made the process, To compound the problem, Rice summer, when people weren't athlete, as well as in attracting never take less than 12 hours of of applying for parking space more began implementing the first here." As a result, many faculty athletes with outstanding classes per semester. difficult. Many people were stages of parking space selection members did not have the academic credentials. Of the "Another problem is that during the summer, a time when a confused as to how to prove current recruits, he said, "In terms traditionally, as a group, athletes opportunity to submit theii large part of the faculty is away. parking lot preferences at the same vehicle ownership, for instance. "A of academics the incoming crop is have not had the same high level of "The biggest problem,"said one see Administrative, page 6 the best we've had in years." SATs as other students — time as other employees. This year marks the first time although in my experience this is that the advisor to athletes is rapidly changing — eventually I independent of the athletic would like to see the SAT scores of Special admissions supported department. Scheid, hired under athletes indistinguishable from the the aegis of the school of rest of the student body," Scheid by David Friesenhahn body and that these students will are qualified to go to Rice as well." humanities, feels that his freedom suggested. A survey recently compiled by be unable to compete effectively at Rice University Director of from coaches' pressure gives him Scheid does not intend to Rice University Assistant Director Rice. Admissions Ron W. Moss greater flexibility in advising the encourage "jelly-roll" courseloads of Admissions Catherine Clack However, Clack's survey seems concurred with Clack. Said Moss, student athlete about academic for the athletes. He stated, "If a strongly challenged the commonly to cast severe doubt onto this "You can compare the list of other problems. student wants to take a particular held assumption that five assertion. In the survey, Clack schools that five percenters are However, Scheid will still have course because it interests him, but percenters, students judged asked students accepted as five accepted to with those of any other access to the Athletic Depart- he's hesitant because it may be a bit lacking in some area during the percenters at Rice but who did not student at Rice and they would ment's funds and advising services, challenging, I'm likely to admissions process but accepted to matriculate where they planned to compare favorably." and will work closely with Lynn encourage him to go ahead. Rice because they possess unique attend college instead. The list of Another strong supporter of the Phillips, an advisor within the "My job," said Scheid, "is to see backgrounds or talents, are schools that five percenters chose five percent admissions policy is athletic department. Together they to it that a student-athlete gets academically less qualified than over Rice included such Rice University Admissions will coordinate several workshops both, that he gets the degree he their peers. prestigious institutions as Cornell, Committee Chairperson and Co- for athletes throughout the year wants and participates in his In an effort to guarantee a the University of Texas at Austin, Director of Student Advising focusing on test-taking, research sport." diverse student body, the Yale, Harvard, Columbia, Susan Clark. "Many of these skills, writing, communication, Scheid sees his codirectorship of university has since 1974 set aside Stanford, SMU, NYU, the U.S. students are perfectly admissable," and studying skills. the Rhodes Scholarship five percent of the slots in each Naval Academy, Brown, Trinity, she said, "but don't get through the Athletes face special problems, committee as one additional step freshman class for individuals and M.I.T. admissions subcommittee because Scheid explained, which can create in the effort to bring Rice up to its whose academic records are below "I prepared this report because they may not be stellar in one frustrations unknown to non- full potential in integrating sports average in some respects but who there are some misconceptions particular area." A varietv of athletes. "Football players may and academics. "I plan to begin possess unique ethnic and about those students not being factors cause many qualified spend 40 or 50 hours per week on advising sophomore athletes about economic backgrounds or special qualified to attend Rice," said students to appear below average, the field, getting hit, and it's the possibility of capitalizing on talents. This policy is criticized by Clack. "Judging by where they are Clark explained. She pointed out, difficult to think about a physics their documented athletic some who contend that it dilutes going to school instead," she for instance, that minority equation when someone is trying see Scheid, page 6 the academic quality of the student concluded, " we can see that thev see Five, page 5 Wienering is its own reward

Welcome, freshlings, to the land of opportunity and SURE *H£ DON'T LOOK SO TOUGH temptation. Please do not be bewildered by the decisions you THM'S WHtf ISMD NJCUT will have to make during the upcoming year — decisions about TtVUTTl£APGHWww sex, drugs, rock & roll, wargaming, running in Club 13, and other extracurricular activities. Just remember that while you will learn far more outside of classes than inside of them during your four years here, you have to pass the classes to stick around. 6 Perhaps you doubt that classes are less educational than other Rice activities. But after holding your nose in a book for four years studying subjects that you probably don't consider the most exciting things in the world, you are likely to end up a highly successful careerist in a field which you abhor. Meanwhile, that guy who spends all of his time at the Thresher will go on to become a renowned journalist (like Bill Broyles, former editor of Newsweek), and that other loser who plays Risk® all night in addition to working at the newspaper will go on to own his own game-publishing company (like Steve Jackson of Steve Jackson Games). You might make more money than these guys, but it would take a lot of green stuff to buy as much fun as they're having doing what they want to do. The moral of the story? Don't let your classes interfere with your real education. Oh, and in case any of you are curious, I'm an S/E. Computer science, as a matter of fact. And it's fun, too. VAULTING THE HEDGES/by Mark Mitchell (In case any of you didn't catch the subtle hint above, this means you're supposed to go to activities fair from 1 to 5 p.m. Ronald Reagan's recent This bill also punishes the standardization of the drinking today in the courtyard of the RMC. Don't worry, it's safe — the approval of a bill which limits majority of safe drivers in the 19 to age to 20 would save an estimated birds don't come for another three months or so.) federal highway funds by up to five 21 year old age group for the 600 lives a year, a mandatory front percent to states that do not raise irresponsibility of a few of their seat, seatbelt law would save — Paul Havlak their drinking age to 21 within two peers. Since the astounding 13,000! years is an unfortunate majority of these 'few bad eggs' 2) through education, stress to all development in the campaign to are male, young female adults bear segments of the population that Thanks to all the staff and reduce drunk-driving fatalities. an inordinate amount of the while it is everyone's personal Even disregarding its election year punishment - another occasion of choice to become drunk, when our vanishing secretary timing, this piece of legislation is hidden sexual discrimination. persons become dangerous to and seriously flawed and will not Another complaint with this a financial drain on society, it is achieve its intent. bill's moral blackmailing of the our responsibility to keep drunks With all the old guard gone but Jeanne Cooper, and her soon Most importantly, this measure state legislatures has been voiced from behind the wheel. This can be heading off to Stanford, this has been a hectic week putting out denies certain adults the freedom for years and deserves reiteration. as simple as not driving yourself the Thresher. But the new section editors — Friesenhahn, to drink. Its intent is to prevent The age at which government home or as difficult as convincing a Neath, and Snyder — have been incredibly hard at work and drunk-driving fatalities by limiting bodies recognize maturity is friend to relinquish his keys. In the result is now before you. My thanks go out to them, to all the legal ability to become drunk subject to increasingly shifty Scandinavian countries, it is a the reporters and other staffers — especially Jay Galbraith who to a smaller segment of the political winds. If Reagan has his common practice to designate came out of Grubland to save my neck by typesetting most of population. Fewer drunks, fewer way, a young adult in any state will some person of a group to be the the backpage. With their help, this will be a banner year for the fatalities. Convincing logic but be allowed, among other things, to chauffeur for the night; he abstains have sex, abort fetuses, be killed in Thresher. hardly fair or cost-effective. for the evening. While a strong argument can be combat, possess marijuana for 3) catch offenders and through Thanks also are in order for Allene Biehle, who served as SA made from traffic-death and personal use (some states) and vote stiffer penalties and fewer judicial secretary last year, but also as a friend to Thresherites and other traffic-accident statistics for before he or she can legally hang exceptions and options, make 24-hour denizens of the RMC. We'll miss her now that she's raising the drinking age from 18 to out in a bar and kill some beers. them pay for their offenses rather downstairs in Pat Martin's office; it will be hard to replace her 19, the same is not true for a jump This ludicrous situation requires than restricting an entire group. ability and probably impossible to replace her caring. to 20 or 21. These less convincing laws better tailored to our Again, Scandinavians have led the statistics demand careful country's drunk-driving problem. way, with permanent revocations — Paul Havlak consideration of how much Specifically we should: of licenses and regular and surprise enjoyment value we place on the 1) be more pragmatic in our laws roadblocks. A time-consuming lives lost to drunk-driving. It's not designed to curb drunk-driving nuisance perhaps, but certainly a a pleasant determination but, traffic fatalities. While a national life-saving measure. given the statistics, one we must JOIN THE CLUB arrive at or else risk 'marginally benefitting' ourselves to Uj Paul Havlak Prohibition. After all, a minimum ^ Editor 40 Self 50 Full drinking age of 25 or more would Service Service prevent even more deaths. 1HRESHER Business Manager David Friesenhahn News Editor Copies Copies* Ian Neath Fine Arts Editor THE 1HRESHER Scott Snyder Snorts Editor Jennifer Juday, John Krueger Back Page Editors 1 Become an AlphaGt aphics University Club Member Mark Mitchell Senior Editor Just present your valid student or faculty ID at our and Bev Blackwood Advertising Manager nearby AlphaGraphics to receive FREE an Sarah Jordan Production Manager AlphaGraphics Student/Faculty Discount Chip Clay Photography Editor Membership card. Your special discount card (Eampamlc Mark Benningfield Copy Editor entitles you to an unlimited supply of 4C self-serve Assistant Editors L. Gene Spears (Fine Arts), copies and 5C full service copies all semester long. Steve MoUenkamp (Sports), Susan Buchanan (Photography) Come on in and let us make a good impression. News Staff I»n Davidson, Shelina Shariff, would like to invite Scheleen Johnson, Jana Sanchez Fine Arts Staff Jeanne Cooper, you to a recruitment John Knapp, Mike Voigt aiiiilrmm party, to be held on Sports Staff Warren Clyborne Printshops Of The Future Production Staff Jay Galbraith, John Knapp, the top floor of the Margi Wald, Jeanne Cooper Business Staff 6611 Main Street Rice Memorial Assistant Business Manager Susan Brown ! ; , (In the Medical Towers) 1 Center at 7:30 p.m., Subscription Manager Kathy Fletcher Sunday, August 26, The Rice Thresher, the official itudent newspaper at Rice University lince 1916, is published !p Phone 790-0403 each Friday during the school year, except during examination periods and holidays, by the j 2 | | 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mon. — Ft i. 1984. •tudents of Rice University. Editorial and business offices are located on the second floor of the 9 a.m. to 2 p.m Saturdays Rice Memorial Center, P.O. Box 1892, Houston, Texas 77251. Telephone (713)327-4801 or Refreshments will be 527-4802 Advertising information available upon request. Msil subscription rate: S20.00 domestic, S40.00 international, (via first class mail). The opinions expressed herein are not served. necessarily those of anyone except the writer. Obviously. !pha( si.iphic '8 " x 11' unbound onijinals • 1984, The Rice Thresher. AU rights reserved.

The Rice Thresher, August 24, 1984, page 2 THRESHING IT OUT monetary gains to be had by mentally and physically outweigh there is a site waiting to be started are welcome to contact me Anthro major wants acquiring a degree in their the dangers involved. Testing one's explored and mysteries to be at Jones College; I'm O/C but 111 freshmen to join up department. For some people this physical endurance against the unraveled, all at the fingertips of be around quite frequently (3rd may be the ideal goal in life; 1 elements can take you to vast the archaeologist. floor North will probably know of To the editor: personally believe that a career deserts or deep into the For these reasons, I encourage my whereabouts). Yes, O/C I am a student in the decision should not be made on woodlands; it can leave you on an and invite those incoming people have mail boxes, too. Ill Anthropology department here at such a trivial matter as how much island beach dependant on a radio freshmen who have not yet decided leave my phone number with Rice and would like to see that the it pays. Such decisions should be for supplies or happen in the on a major, but know they want a Jackie, our college secretary. Archaeology division of this left to the heart and spirit (no middle of a bustling metropolis challenge to last a lifetime, to first Thank you for taking the time to department is not overlooked by religious implications intended). like Houston. Whatever your of all consider archaeology as a read this and have a great year. incoming freshmen. Being a small Live it to the limit is an appropriate desires for learning about man, career; secondly, those truly Roberto Meza department, the new student at term which describes the actual modern or any of his predecessors, interested that need help getting Jones Hi Rice is often drawn to the more field work in archaeology. The well [sic] publicized engineering or entire globe can be home to the science departments. ambitious archaeologist and many BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathed Granted these larger depart- things can be learned about man ments are by no means inadequate, himself. Although physically YOU CRAZY KIP5.., COME IN CENTRAL. WE YOUR they do however emphasize the demanding, the rewards both RI6HT. ANP ALWAYS TFYIN'TO SNOWBALL mis "Ret?mm" FEET ANP UH... A MISTER I'M KOJAK. YOUR WAY PAST— SON OF GOT SOMEONE HERE TO FOLLOW ME. OPUS W SEE A GUN... HERE'S YER NAME.' SEE rem PAN m. WHO- PLEASE MISTER 6ENP OVER "600P FAIRY \ MICHAEL SIX" FOR JACKSON, ESCORT. PLEASE. HM Jm

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One Large Pizza with one j $ GONE 7 J srmersf L50 \ oi/rme POOS' topping plus 2 salads and a | OFF ANY MEDIUM PIZZA pitcher of soft drink - all for • $9.99. | $1.00 OFF ANY SMALL PIZZA Dine in orders only J THICK THIN OR DEEP DISH (Not valid with any other offer) | (Not Valid With Any Other Otkni f Expiree Sept. 31, 1984 I Expires Sept. 31, 1964 MI-IT The Rice Thresher, August 24, 1984, page 3 Students must work for social change says Gillman continued from page 1 language, but improvement is the choice of words down ..to a boldly calls "The Help" on To say that such invidious tricky one; just when you think possible if we start at the "verbal minimum." campus, is reprehensible because it divisions hurt all of us is no mere you're finally controlling the end." It has nothing to do with Of course no one but an avowed is racist. To have a label at all for rhetorical flourish. For the habit of environment by using its lingo, it cultivating "standard English" or a theorist of conspiracy would the maintenance personnel on simplifying language and of turns out that language is using "good prose style" or with correct attribute such malign and unitary campus is suspect, but one needs reducing meanings tends to be you — maybe even abusing you. grammar or with avoiding purposefulness to what is, after all, only see a sampling of the hard to break. In fact, the most Instead of being self-propelled, colloquialisms or what he calls the students' slang at Rice. definitions in the colleges' invidious af all, in my view, is one you may find yourself being "Americanisms." Rather, Orwell However in the various colleges' handbooks to feel genuine that has the greatest currency on propelled by all of this new argues that we need to put meaning handbooks for new students, some outrage. The Graduate Student campus, and that I hear most vocabulary. back into language: get rid of all of the more archaic examples of Association guide to Rice defines frequently in common conver- All this warning may, you the abstract phrases, the vague, Ricespeak can be found, recorded sation: the S.E I Academ opposition. object, sound like a woman stale, and hackneyed terminology, and preserved yet undercut by a "Opposition" is, interestingly, obsessed with words, who reads the pretentious scientific and tone of discomfort in the the coin termed by two of the complications into things where bureaucratic jargon that are the accompanying definitions. Most handbooks for the relationship there are none — somewhat like most marked characteristics of often and most unequivocally between S.E. — a student the English professor you may modern English prose. "As soon as repudiated is the sexism of T.R.G. majoring in engineering or science remember who sees sex in every certain topics are raised," Orwell — which stands for Typical Rice — and Academ — one majoring in book he reads. But such an says, "the concrete melts into the Girl (or Guy). The Baker College the humanities or social sciences. obsession with the power of abstract and ... prose consists less handbook succinctly defines These are not at all simply two language characterizes many of and less of words chosen for' the T.R.G. with two words: equal choices of career or our best literary and cultural sake of their meaning, and more "Derogatory. Meaningless." Jones specialization, but are rather two critics. So moving outward, for a and more of phrases tacked College goes even farther in mutually exclusive identities, one moment, from our present small together like sections of a pre- explicitly rejecting the sexism of of which is "better" or "higher" world at Rice to the larger one fabricated henhouse." T.R.G.: "This designation (never than the other. complimentary) implies unfair "beyond the hedges," let's make a How would the George Orwell, The point, of course, of all this is representation: the girls are classic appeal to authority and who says, "the worst thing one can to poke fun at the reigning campus snobbish and overstudious, while Gilman's address -S. Buchanan consider George Orwell's essay on do with words is to surrender to myths of the "hard-core" S.E.'s the guys wear hornrimmed glasses language and world dictatorships, them," react to our language here "gnomes" as the "employees of with dollar signs in their eyes and and wear calculators on their written just after World War II. at Rice? "Surrendering" hardly Rice that invade the campus daily, the "soft-core" Academs who take belts." Thus are such stereotypes "Politics and the English seems to be an issue with words wearing assorted blue or brown life easy and drugs as well. But destroyed, by students honest Language" is Orwell's somewhat like "Sammy's" or "Valhalla" or uniforms. They preform varied partly because such mythology enough not to falsify the fact that wry and dispassionate plea on the whimsical "MOB." But we use tasks..." If the verbs "invade" and also reigns far "beyond the sexist language is part of the behalf of what is for him a other, apparently equally harmless "perform" are not alone sufficient hedges," in the "Real World," it is universities past and of our passionate issue: that the world- phrases that I think might have to suggest that this is a race of alien too powerfully entrenched to be culture's present, but courageous wide political chaos of his time is raised Orwell's eyebrows. In creatures who are here to serve us, destroyed by college witticisms. enough to expose and reject those connected with the decav of particular he was on guard against the final sentences of the definition Concern with status and with implications. As Orwell says at the systematically simplified forms of are unmistakeable: "If you're lucky measuring status by salary is a fact end of Politics and the English language — such categorical you may meet one that speaks of life that confronts us all — an Language, "One cannot change classifications that reduce human English. They are as a rule very inescapable part of the world that this all in a moment, but one can at multiplicity and variety into two nice people, if you take the trouble we live in. least change one's own habits, and diametrically opposed groups as to get to know them." The final from time to time one can even, if Yet we can improve things, as T.R.G.'s and T.R.M.'s, S.E.'s and apology does not, in my reading, one jeers loudly enough, send some Orwell says, if we start at the X 4* Academs, gnomes and non- mitigate at all the implied racism of worn-out and useless phrase . . "verbal end." Whenever you hear ,«x gnomes, !nside-the-Hedges and the flippant generalization that into the dustbin where it belongs." any reference at all — whether Bcyond-?he-Hedges. All of these these are all Spanish-speaking joking, dismissive, dead serious or expressions, some joking and people or of Hispanic origin. Other lumps of Ricespeak downright rude — to S.E.'s or 338-1407 others more serious, some Another college handbook unfortunately have not yet been Academs, consider Orwell's 806 Nasa Rd. currently heard on campus, others appropriates the rhetorical stance jettisoned to the dustbin, but to advice: "... the saner self... stands found mostly in print, relics of of the superior anthropologist convince all of you sitting here that aside, records the things that are OPEN bygone Rice Institute days, have in commenting on a primitive 7 DAYS A WEEK that is where they belong is one of done and admits their necessity but common what Orwell identifies as culture. "Clad in baby-blue- my most important purposes in refuses to be deceived as to their on of the principles of Newspeak in polyester-double-knit..." gnomes r*\ addressing you today. The term true nature." In this case the true the Appendix to Nineteen Eighty- are "the assorted people who clean othing for "gnomes" (pronounced guh-no'- nature of S.E. vs Academ is a Four: "Newspeak was designed up after you and hold pep rallies mees in a calculated mispronun- coercive one — under the guise of not to extend but to diminish the under your window at seven in the ciation that appropriates the 'career choice' you are being range of thought, and this purpose morning." The "gnome carts" in word as Rice's own), used to coerced and your free choice was indirectly assisfxi by cutting which maintenance personnel designate what one handbook limited, reduced to exactly two. drive around campus are also Because only two categories or defined, almost as a kind of odd options are expressed, the tool or primitive artifact: distinction between S.E. and WHAT DO YOU "Derivative of golf cart Academ would, I think, have technology, driven around campus struck Orwell as an example of the SAY TO A NAKED at lndy 500 speeds by "reduction of vocabulary" APARTMENT? aforementioned tribe." see Gillman, page 5 CERTIFIED FURNITURE RENTAL] STUDENT BODY CHRIST SPECIALISTS!

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The Rice Thresher, August 24, 19S4, page 4 Gillman urges students to take control of their lives culture, or uwhethe/k«#k«r heKa , too^aa , iisc noha#t can'r»Q n Vt escapne« usinnctngn languagelanmian* , whertuk e continued from page 4 problem with such a hierarchical realized, from our dependence on subject to society's constraints. some corrupt language is model, of course, is that someone language itself: we tend to If we're all, inescapably, inevitable and yet where we can characteristic of Newspeak — must be "out" in order for someone surrender to words, allowing the language-speakers, how are we to become aware of ourselves cutting the choice of words down else to be "in." Thus although we at invasion of our minds by ready- use language without allowing it to ajlanguage-users. Equally as to a minimum in order not to Rice define ourselves partly as made phrases. The ready-made abuse us? My suggestion would be important, here at Rice we are in a extend but to diminish the range of insiders in opposition to the values follow close behind. Mark rather than to emulate Huck Finn, position to accept the moral thought. What may appear to be a outsiders beyond the hedges, our Twain, too, was concerned with to try and remember what it is to be responsibility that reading per linguistic way of ordering, neatly relationship to that "real world" is exposing the coercive nature of a reader of Huckleberry Finn: one se entails. Language may indeed be categorizing a rather bewildering much more complicated than language, so concerned that he who both uses language and always already corrupt, but it is chaos of possibilities turns out simple opposition would suggest. stepped outside conventional watches himself using it, one who also infinitely corruptible. It actually to reduce multiplicity to a The hedges cannot really protect English prose and wrote an entire is self-conscious. Rather than requires our constant and loving novel in the "vernacular" — the binary vision of the world. Worse us from the world outside Rice; the lighting out for the Territory like protection, even as we who protect ungrammatical dialect and style of yet, because S.E. and Academ is hedges cannot prevent the kinds of Huck, we need to remain here at it recognize that it is immeasurably an almost illiterate, poor white boy [sic] a linguistic pair, each term of values held by our society at large Rice, inside the hedges, where we larger and more powerful than we. which derives meaning primarily from invading our lives on this from rural Missouri. Twain thus from its relation to the opposite, campus. experimented in Huckleberry Finn you will find yourself drawn to with the question of whether even Schefd: academics first such a character on the fringes of defining your own choice of The difficulty of evading such continued from page 1 academic and athletic credentials. society could step outside and majors in relation to others. The invasions comes, as Orwell capabilities. I believe that the A Ph.D. in English (he received his escape the perverted values of his student who is also an athlete is B. A. and the doctorate from Rice) vastly superior to someone who is and author of a prize-winning just a student or just an athlete. I novel, Scheid has also written a Five percenter contribute more to Rice think we could have a potentially potential best seller, The Self- percenters have frequently been continued from page I will bring an interesting dimension large number of Rhodes Scholars Coached Runner, which has sold among the most active and to tne student Dody." students tend to score lower on the coming out of Rice." 15,000 copies in the first two weeks successful students at Rice and According to Moss, the report SAT than students in general and However, he added, "The main on the market. As an athlete with have contributed enormously to indicated that Rice's main problem that many students emphasize purpose of the advising program is national championships in the student life. "Some five percenters with five percenters is not a lack of extracurricular activities rather to allow athletes to receive the best half-mile and the 1500 meter here," said Clark, "have done well academic qualification but than classwork during their high education they are capable of competition, Scheid says that he is enough in the last five years to be persuading them to choose Rice school years. getting." well qualified to understand and named president of the Student over other prestigious universities Scheid considers his back- deal with the particular academic Arguing along the same lines, Association as well as editor of the as competition for these students Moss said that many five ground to be an asset in his job and other problems that the Campanile, have held numerous escalates. "The list means that the student-athlete may have. percenters come from back- offices in the various colleges, have same person who is prepared to be because of a combination of grounds where they were denied participated in the Rice Players comfortable at Rice is the same the educational opportunities and on the Rice Thresher, and person that all the Ivy League PART TIME available to the majority of have gone on to prestigious schools are after, too," he said. students entering Rice, yet graduate schools." "That places us squarely in TELEMARKETERS NEEDED achieved as much as possible given Moss also stressed the competition with those schools for their constraining environments. importance of five percenters to these students just as we compete Equipment leasing company need* telemarketing representative* to "They may have an average the quality of student life at Rice. with them for our other students." attest customers needs and generate leads for sales staff. No direct academic record," said Moss, "yet Said Moss, "The five percent is Moss noted that unlike Rice, selling, hourly wage plut bonus, flexible hours around your dost have outstanding personal designed to insure heterogeneity. other institutions such as the schedule, between 9 am, and 5 pm. characteristics and talents." We sometimes overlook the University of Texas at Austin often According to Clark, who has importance of not being overly offer enticements to attract Call Dick Jens at 953-0234 tracked the academic fortunes of similar. We can insure in this way students with special backgrounds for interview five percenters for the past several that at least one group will not be a and talents. "Although we try very BANCORP LEASING AND FLEET LEASING, DIVISIONS Of &ANCOW FINANCIAL SERVICES COMPANY years, once five percenters enter mirror image of the others." hard to consider these students for the university they tend to fare "So often," Moss added, "we are merit scholarships, they must about as well as the rest of the looking for that diamond-in-the- compete with all other students for student body. "They tend to either rough in terms of leadership and these awards, as we have no special have difficulties or to do very well talent. We try to find students that category set up for them," he said. as do most students," said Clark. GOTO She noted that "in the past few years they have performed no differently in terms of attrition APARTMENTS: PLANNED rates than any other students and Close to Rice University, Student and Professional, have contributed a lot to the Rice One and Two bedrooms from $300. community." 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The Rice Thraher, August 24, 1984, page 5 Administrative problems hamper parking plan continue from page 1 cause problems for the people this," Akers said, "you are going to disrupt my parking. I have been What Van Helden pointed out is lot of people didn't bring their car trying to administer the plan and irritate and inconvenience people. parking at Cohen House for the that Rice has chosen to locate its licenses, their license plate receipts, those trying to make the But at least now, I hope that past twelve years, but now I don't major buildings close to one or their Texas proof of insurance adjustment to those changes." everyone will have a place to know where 111 wind up parking." another and has recently erected cards with them when they went to In the long run, Voswinkel said, park." Rice University History such buildings as Mudd and get stickers, which were needed in the changes should be worth the During the past few weeks, Department Chairman and Herring Hall over existing parking order to prove vehicle ownership," present suffering. The proof of Akers has not managed to escape Chairman of the Faculty Council lots. "Once you make the decision said a departmental secetary, ownership regulations and lot an angry faculty. Said Akers, "1 Albert Van Helden has listened to that you will have a central core of "This slowed up the process even assignments will insure that faculty have never had so many calls and the complaints of his anxious buildings, you limit the number of spaces are not occupied by Texas letters before. I cannot even walk more for them." colleagues but has viewed the close parking spaces which are Medical Center employees, she across campus without someone The problems plaguing disruptions somewhat more available and force faculty out into said. Voswinkel pointed out, for stopping me." administration of the plan have stoically. "Nobody ever gets to peripheral parking areas," he said. instance, "that there is certainly no Akers claimed to have learned at generated anxiety among park exactly where they want to Rice University Assistant Chief advantage in parking at least one valuable lesson from the employees who do not yet know park,"said Van Helden, "I of Police Mary Voswinkel believed Abercrombie and walking to the furor over parking. Quipped where they will be parking this personally would like to park right that the confusion would end in a Med Center from there as there Akers, "Clark Kerr once said that a semester. Typical was the next to the loading dock of the few weeks, after both the campus would be in parking at Allen university president needs three complaint of one faculty member: library in which I work, but I can't. police and the faculty have had Center." things to succeed: football for the "I realize the position that the If I have to park an additional 250 ample time to adjust to the new Rice University Vice President alumni, parking for the faculty, administration is in. They have to yards away that's a compromise parking arrangememt. Said of Administration William Akers and sex for the students Now I do something about the parking for me, but I can certainly manage Voswinkel, "Any time you make a echoed Voswinkel's sentiments. know that he was at least one-third problem. But it is going to to walk the extra distance." change like this you are going to "Any time you make a change like right." Presidential search continues DAILY by Shelina Shariff considered 300 candidates for the • 50% OFF DEPOSIT The Rice University Presidential presidency. The candidates were DOUBLE Search Committee is "well on nominated by alumni, faculty and schedule" said chairman Ralph students. In their quest, the • 50% OFF DELIVERY committee has crisscrossed the SPECIAL Offer good through November 1, 1984. O'Connor. The committee, which Limit one special offer per contract, please. country speaking to potential V- began meeting once a week in May, is charged with screening candidates, including the possible successors to retiring Rice presidents of Harvard, Princeton, University President Norman John Hopkins, Brown, Chicago, Hackerman. Emory, Stanford, Caltech and Claremont. O'Connor mentioned Thus far. the committee has that there are many candidates associated with Rice as well. "It was heartwarming to hear ^3fc*j2ey-H. KflPWN these presidents speak so highly of Rice," said O'Connor, "We are FIRST IN seen as a strong, well-run TEST PREPARATION university that is going to get even SINCE 1938 better." The committee is now gathering information on all the candidates. /SSAT-PSAT "We are looking at their public /SAT-ACT-GUI AT /ACHIEVEMENTS actions, newspaper clippings and IGRE-LSAT-MAT data banks, but it's still too early to GRE BIO TOEFL start interviewing them," he said. GREPSYCH-PCAT "The personality profile of the DATMCATVAT perfect candidate would be a man OCAT-NMB1-2-3 or woman who is a true scholar NPB-MSKP NDB with administrative skills and ECFNIG CGFNS boundless energy. We are leaning — FLEX NCLEX-RN SPEEDRE ADING • NCB -1 more toward scholars rather than ESL REVIEW V0E-CPA administrators, someone who is creative with good interpersonal skills, he said" O'Conner mentioned that there were many strong minority and More people rent furniture female candidates. 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The Rice Thrnher, August 24, 1984, page 6 THRESHER FINE ARTS Eastwood's best flick explores more than mere sex, violence

Tightrope Wes has questioned, and heightens Eastwood has at last started to act. Eastwood's acting, they are turned recreate the feeling of urban Directed by Michael Tuggle as the film progresses because the Eastwood makes several from ordinary soap-opera amorality. Yet this film does not killer then turns his vengeance attempts, most of which are situations into a real, believable preach morality. It impartially Michael Tuggle's Tightrope is against Wes' family. This is the successful, to break his old habit of problems. observes a man fighting his own surprising for two reasons: first, good old-fashioned form of going through a film with his eyes There are other fine perfor- battle and, because of the nature of Clint Eastwood's rough, tough cop suspense created from the plot and almost closed and grimacing mances as well, most notably the film, the outcome is character is believable, and not by sudden cheap startle tactics. fiercely. Wes is involved with Genevieve Bujold, as the head of a unpredictable. second, the film as a whole makes a Though Tightrope is not a extensive questioning of the rape prevention center, and This is the real source of the suspense. The audience must worthy attempt at exploring the whodunit, it does achieve one of lowlife and starts to sink down to Eastwood's daughter Alison, as follow the plot as it unfolds and pressures placed on a particular the highest levels of suspense of their level. He is confronted by Wes' daughter. The only plot weakness concerns the character of wait for each new development to homicide cop. any film in quite some time. domestic problems from his ex- wife, who wants the kids back since Bujold. It is quite predictable that occur. There are no hints as to the Eastwood portrays Wes, a The character of Wes is totaly she is remarrying, and political she and Eastwood fall for each conclusion which, though logical, divorced father of two girls. A different from that of Dirty Harry. pressures from the mayor and chief other, bnt nevertheless, the is mercifully not one which rights crazed killer is loose in New Wes does not carry a .45, does not of police, who want the case solved relationship is handled in an all the wrongs or solve all the Orleans and has already killed two go around indiscriminately quickly. All of these factors unexpected way. problems. hookers. Naturally, Wes is shooting people, and does not say combined with trying to raise two This is undoubtedly Eastwood's assigned to the case, and during his "Make my day." Wes is a Throughout the film, the quality young daughters start getting to best film ever but it is not for investigating, he runs into several believable, realistic individual and of the directing is manifest in the Wes, and these internal conflicts everyone. Tightrope is for those hookers. But here the similarity thanks to Eastwood's fine job of performances of all the characters. are developed and portrayed The camera work is likewise who want more out of a film than with the Dirty Harry films ends. acting, Wes somes across as a remarkably well. Thanks to the excellent, exploiting the use of violence and sex. Suspense develops, for the killer person rather than an ice cold, direction and script, and to darkness, night, and neon lights to —Ian Neath starts murdering each hooker that nonfeeling brute. It appears that OMD display some musical talent and appeal In latest album Junk Culture mesmerising songs on their Yet by far my favorite is "Talking Orchestral Manoeuvres albums, and Junk Culture is no Loud and Clear." This song in the Dark exception. "Never Turn Away" is a describes comfort and pleasure, pleasant change from the drive of but it also creates them, and I can That I have already bought this the first side; "Hard Day" is almost feel the sun and the grass record indicates considerable remarkable for both its enthralling along with the relaxation. 1 am favor on my part. It is not as nature and the well-planned very glad to see this one released as the second single, and it should do consistent as the previous LP by musical development involving well. OMD, Dazzle Ships, but Junk two sweeping, expanding sections Culture is nevertheless noteworthy separated by a calm interlude. On the whole Junk Culture is worthwhile. The talent that for the musical inspiration that "All Wrapped Up" should be often shows itself. mentioned also; it is best described OMD have is not apparent in The first single to come from the as "calypso to smile by," a piece of every selection, but at other times album is "Locomotion," but this Carribean fun that somehow does it soars. Despite the occasional song is one of the weaker few. The not seem at all out of place — it put-off, there is much appeal musical ideas are substantial simply stands out unobtrusively. —John Knapp enough, but the result seems a little plastic — not offensive, just bland. Some good foundation and case it comes much closer. The harmony are left undeveloped, and layered arrangement of "Love and the lyrical theme is unfortunately Violence," however, is one that not extensively explored. The only does express the anguish of the SCOTLAND song that can claim less or nothing accompanying lyrics rather well, v is "Testa Girls," an extremely and this song, along with those mechanical cut with "an incessant remaining, are above acceptable. disco beat, and, worst of all, the if YARD Orchestral Manoeuvres in the J/ repeated vocal processing found Dark always have at least a couple usually in mainstream pseudo- new-wave productions. It is a poor realization of the pointed lyrics.

The processing of vocals ? appears fortunately only once A§cm it,.. more, and, not surprisingly, it 3r detracts from the song, "White Tdi is Trash," the only other weak one on I PIAC& TQ SI the record. It is a distinctly angry song: "I'm going to break/ Every bone in your body/ That perfect OPEN HOUSE, SUNDAY, AUGUST 26, little body/ That's been so close to 1984 AT 5:00 P.M. mine." But again, the music falls FIRST REHEARSAL, TUESDAY, just short of expressing the words AUGUST 28, 1984 AT 4:00 P.M. appropriately, even though in this

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The Rice Thresher, August 24, 1984, 7 Drawings reflect great visions and attention of Italian artists Eighteenth Century Italian Eighteenth Century Italian not in the same collection. Marco from the Sea, a pen and ink Giambattista Tiempolo lends a Drawings Drawings are part of "the final Since many of these drawings drawing with gray wash and comic-book immediacy, in a good Museum of Fine Arts flowering of Venetian culture," or are actually preliminary drafts for goauche, provides the same sense, to the skillful lines of his Through September 2 at least that's what the curator paintings and other works, I architectural accuracy but with Allegory with Figures Beside A says. Although the date of thought before going to the show more natural and detailed Pyramid. A pen and ink drawing After the splendor of the recent Venezia's artistic demise may be that I would have to see "nekkid gondolieri. The human figures still with brown wash heightened by Shanghai and Cameroon exhibits, debatable, the vitality of the art," which is like a Playboy have an innate lissomeness, white over black chalk, this the subtle warmth of the 65 drawings' inter-communication centerfold before primping, posing though, which highlights Venice's Allegory is not stilted in its drawings in the MFA's Andrews bespeaks a lively artistic and airbrushing. That shows you perfection as a venue for symbolism. The broad sweep of Gallery may elude casual viewers. community, not yet immured by how much I really know about art. contrasting man and his work. The the soldier's back, the ghoulish Selected from the Robert Lehman strict adherence to the classical Artists, it seems, tailor their visions quixotic and earthy (thus mortal) skulls and presence of sharp blades collection in the Metropolitan tradition. These pieces go so well to their media, so that these Italian spirit, epitomized by the all would suggest a secret Heavy Museum of Art, the works in together, it's hard to imagine them drawings reflect all the attention gondolieri, is set against the Metal sensibility if the artist lived given the "final product." And they timeless immobility of the today. are ultimately worth your beautiful buildings produced by attention. the same culture. (Artists are Some of the other categories classic perpetrators and include "Religious Themes," The landscapes are particularly perpetuators of this somewhat "Animals," "Figure Studies," striking. Francesco Guardi's ironic situation, in which a man's "Caricatures," "Scenes from Panorama from the Bacino di San work takes less time than his life Contemporary Life," and "Satyrs Marco, a pen and bistre drawing but ultimately "lives" longer than and Punchinelli," the eighteenth with wash, presents a seamless any man.) The peculiarly Italian century's pre-TV source of sex and panorama that is actually wider quality of such a contrast becomes violence mixed with humor. than a single focus. Nostalgic as a obvious when looking at II sepia postcard, the picture draws The exhibit leaves September 2. Canaletto's The East Front of the eye to a boat in the lower left If you want to "know before you Warwick Castle. Peasants, gentry corner and then gradually around go," be sure to see the free movie and nobility are strolling, dancing the sweeping horizon. The serenity on seventeenth and eighteenth and almost mingling on the lawn, of the architectural precision is century Italian drawing on doing everything in fact, except contradicted only by the quick Saturday, August 25, at 1:30 p.m. looking British. strokes of the boatsmen's legs. in the MFA's Brown Auditorium. Guardi's View of the Grand In the "Myths and Allegories" Canal and the Buildings of San section, the Italian imagination of —Jeanne Cooper Revenge film funny but ending nauseous

Revenge of the Nerds down its own house, taken over the manage to saw wood without Directed by Jack Kanew freshman dorm, and forced the making any sound whatsoever ? freshman to seek alternate living And, even more amazing, how did Jack Kanew's latest effort begins quarters. Most of them get they reconstruct an entire house, as a quite creative film but, by the accepted into fraternities and which had been condemned, to time the final scene rolls around, sororities except for, of course, the look like something from Home becomes stereotypical, ordinary, .nerds. This is only the beginning, and Garden? The humor, and trite. Because of this, even the for the nerds get picked on with although funny, is rather contrived many really funny scenes can not increasing regularity. and quite sophomoric. For save this picture from becoming a The film now increases its use of example, for the charity booth at bad film not worth the admission stereotypes, including the sorority the homecoming games, the nerds price. Two nerds, Gilbert and for only good-looking, beautiful sell pies with the caption "Eat a pie Lewis, go to collge with the high girls (Pi Delta Pi), the one for ugly, for charity". Underneath the pie, hopes of escaping from all the fat girls (Omega Mu), the ex-jock however, lies the real surprise: a ridicule that they have experienced coach who believes football is the nude photo of one of the girls from in high school. Now that they are most important thing there is, and the Pi sorority. (Get it?) Even so, college men, everyone will look at the intimidated dean who bows to you still find yourself laughing out them as equals instead of making pressure from the coach. Although loud. fun of their clothes, their pockets there are some really funny scenes On# of 65 drawings by Italian artist* on exhibit at the MFA full of pencils, their laughs, and The ending is the worst part of to follow, the plot, which was their hair styles. the film and the worst ending I never really very good, becomes have seen in a long time. After only Unfortunately, the rest of the too predictable. fifteen minutes, the film has Specials college does not share the same For example, the nerds, to get become so predictable that for Students, idea and on the first day, the Alpha back at the girls of the Pi Delta Pi everyone in the audience knows Faculty & Staff Beta fraternity, which houses all of sorority, install video cameras in how the film will end. Yes, the • Variable Lease Terms Adams College's jocks, has burned the girls' rooms. But, one wonders nerds unite together, closet nerds • $100 Gift Certificate where did they get the money to reveal themselves, and they all say, r^CDI l\D OFF pay for six remote controlled color "Yes, I'm a nerd... and proud of it!" Call Rita: WITH TV cameras? Also, how did they Then, to make matters worse, the 772-7291 soundtrack starts up with "We Are the Champions". •^Srtiob The Bokay Shop Technically, the film is very good. Unlike most films in this Village Florist genre and budget, there are no visible mistakes. The acting is at Beautiful Flowers least average, and, except for the for any and every end, the script is average. But, the ending is so nauseous, trite, Open House, Sunday August 26 occasion! and banal that the film leaves you 1 bdrm From $275 1984 at 5:00 p.m. with a sick feeling. 2406 Rice Blvd. Revenge of the Nerds is • SEPARATE ADULT AND FAMILY First Rehearsal, Tuesday, SECTIONS 528-4466 definitely not worth seeing if you August 28, 1984 at 4:00 p.m. • GARDEN APTS & IOWNHOUSES have to pay full admission price. • 8 SPARKLING SWIM POOLS —M. Heinrich Voigt • DAILY DOOR TO DOOR TRASH PICK-UP • COVERED PARKING • VOLLEYBALL • MINIATURE GOLF /Village Cheese Shop 0 SPACIOUS FLOOR PLANS Sints 1976 SHADY i ANDSCAPED COURT- YARDS Welcome Back!

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The Rice Thresher, Auguit 24, 1984, page 8 THIS WEEK/by L Gen© Spears

music, film, and commemorative stamps. Marciunas Film from Cameroon which reflect the variety and richness of the native art forms. For more information call the MFA described FLUXUS as "a fusion of Spike Jones, vaudeville gags, children's games and Duchamp." Call the CAM at The River Oaks Theater will show Diner on August 29, at 526-1361 526-3129 for more information. and Carmen on August 30. Diner, directed by Barry Levison and starring Steve Guttenburg, Mickey Rourke, Daniel Stern, Timothy Daly, and Kevin Bacon, is a La Vie Moderne: Nineteenth Century French Art from the comedy-drama set in 19S9 Baltimore and chronicles a Corcoran Gallery is one of several exhibits currently on group of young men on the verge of adult responsibility. display at The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston. The The Houston Museum of Natural Science will be hosting Carlos Saura's Carmen, a pseudo-adaptation of Bizet's exhibit, which will be on display through October 7, the exhibition Star Gods of the Ancient classic opera, features the remarkable combination of Americas until September 16. The exhibit consists of Bizet's sweeping music with the Flamenco dancing of 144 objects of gold, turquoise, wood, stone, ceramics, and Saura. Call the River Oaks Theatre at 524-2175 for show textiles which portray the sun, moon, planets, and stars. times. Meanwhile, the Burke Baker Planetarium will be presenting a program entitled "Star Gods" to accompany the exhibit, but the final showing of this will be on August 26.

The Museum of Fine Art will continue its exhibit of Art of Cabaret Cameroon with extended free times from 10 a.m. until noon on Wednesdays and from 5 p.m. until 9 p.m. on The Comedy Workshop is continuing its production The Thursdays. Regular admission is $3 for adults and $1 for Two-Bit Opera through October 1 on every evening people under 18. Included in the display are 129 objects Tuesday through Thursday at 8:30 p.m. and on every Friday and Saturday evening at 8:30 and 11:00 p.m Tickets are $5 for week night shows and $7 for Friday and Saturday shows. Reservations are required. Call 524-7333 Daumier (1808-1879): The Advocatm on display at the MFA for more information and for reservations. includes 41 works by such artists as Daumier, Degas, Monet, Pissaro, and Renoir. The exhibtion explores the Theatre diversity of artistic responses to la vie moderne from the rapidly changing world of France from the fall of August Plays by the Chocolate Bayou Theater Company Napoleon in 1814 to the early 20th century. include Lee Blessing's Nice People Dancing to Good Country Music on August 24, and Mary Gallagher's Chocolate Cake on August 25. The former play is set in a used-to-be-seedy bar in Southwest Houston (of all places) The Contemporary Arts Museum will present which has been converted by the new owner's girlfriend FLUXUS, etc.: The Gilbert and Lila Silverman Collection into a place for "nice people dancing to good country' until September 16. The name FLUXUS was assigned by music." In the latter play, an outrageous comedy, two the Lithuanian-born graphics artist, George Marciunas, to women of disparate backgrounds who attend a conference an artistic movement started in the 1960s in New York for Careers for Women discover a common craving for King Njoyo of Bamum in front of native Cameroon art whose media encompassed newspapers, posters, theatre, fattening food. Call 759-9840 for more information. Five Minutes From Rice University. And No Deposit. The first ten Rice students who bring this ad to space, our terrific location. Life's too short to live Braesbrook Landing will receive anywhere but Braesbrook a bonus! We'll waive your Landing, where you're always security deposit and you'll save welcome. The convenient up to $200 right off the bat. choice for your And because you attend Rice, apartment home. you can also receive a special l ot H Rice University Bus Schedule rent discount. Plus compli- XLS BROOK Outer Belt Road - Ben Taub mentary bus service to and •\NDINC Gate 1 - Fannin, and from school. (See schedule.) Panis /, Gate 6 - Fannin. /Come see Braesbrook Landing Time: AM PM ( for yourself. Our apartments 7:20 1:15 are better than average in size 8:50 3:20 and feature 18 different floor 9:50 5:40 plans. Enjoy our ceiling fans Offer applies to qualified and Cable TV, our ample storage 795-466 0 new residents only.

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The Rice Ttare«her, August 24, 1984, page 9 THRESHER SPORTS Brown's outlook upbeat for critical rebuilding year by Scott Snyder not going to do it right, then let's said. "I just think that it is very hurt Rice. Nonetheless, Rice In the minds of some, new Rice don't do it at all." important that we bring kids here football will be on the tube several Head Coach Watson Brown was Obviously, it's going to take a that fit in and want to be here, and times this year. "We will get a little simply an opportunist who had while before Watson Brown and that can make it here, because the more publicity if that's what we're been baited by a six-year, $1.3 the Rice football team can do it worst thing that can happen is to looking for. I don't know whether million contract when he assumed right. When a team is 1-21 over the play a guy for two years and then it is or not." full head-coaching duties at a past two years, it has some he's gone. You get him right to the This week, Brown has had to university whose football teams rebuilding to do. What Watson point that he's fixing to be a good juggle his two-a-day practice had compiled a less-than- Brown talks about are rebuilding player for you and then all of a sessions to try to allow freshman impressive 1-21 record over the years—plural: "If it takes six years sudden he leaves, for whatever football players to be an active part past two years. like is in my contract ... I don't reason—he doesn't like it here, or of Orientation Week. "We've had Now the time has come for know if 111 be around that long. I he flunks out, or whatever. We to change our schedule around an Brown to prove his coaching don't know if I can take losing that want kids to be with us four and awful lot this week to let them have ability by showing those skeptics long myself. Again, it's hard to say. five years." This year, half of time to do as much as they can do. that his multi-million dollar If we were to keep everybody Brown's recruits were from outside We're letting them do quite a bit. contract is well-spent money by healthy in these first couple of of Texas. It's tough on freshmen because winning not every time, not even years and luck up and beat a The athletic department has also they aren't getting the rest time most of the time, but by winning a couple, it could get a little been doing some marketing before that the varsity gets. When (the couplc of games here and there. momentum started and speed the this 1984 season opener, a practice freshman) leaves the practice field, Brown's first test will be at process up. . . which has not been emphasized in he's going to something at Minnesota two weeks from Wat*on Brown "If we get some hurt and we have recent years. "I feel like we need orientation. We haven't had much tomorrow. university is run,"said Brown. "I a tough year, too, it may take the some way to promote ourselves, continuity in our practices because of that. In preparing for his first season think they will see that, and they full six years to get it done. We've just small things here and there in over the summer, Brown has had a will also see the class football team lost a lot of players through the order to get into the public's eye a "We're trying to make it chance to reflect on the problems that we're going to play with. No transition: some flunking out; little bit more," Brown said. mandatory on our end that they're of running a football team which matter how many we win, I think some quitting; some not wanting Rice football will also be on TV there. Now it's impossible for us to has had a consistent losing it's going to be a classy football to play football any more, just more often this year, thanks—or check and see if they are. Our tradition for over twenty years. He team. But it's not going to happen getting tired of it. I'm not no thanks—to the recent ruling by freshmen seem to be a good group has also had to confront those overnight and it's not completely disappointed. It's not going to be the Supreme Court,which stripped of kids; they want to be involved, faculty members and students at done now by any means. easy, but it can be done if we hang the NCAA of the power to decide so they're going pretty regularly." Rice who have questioned the "1 just hope that our football in there." which teams could have televised Brown isn't bothered too much value of a football program at an team can become as classy as the In addition to hiring two new games and imposed a limit on how by preseason predictions that Rice institution truly dedicated to school is itself. If we can do that, academic advisors for the athletes, many times within a season a team may win only one game or less. He higher learning. we have as fine a university as there Brown has also hired a new could appear on national speculates, "Sometimes it can be a "1 don't think that everything's is in the country. I do think recruiting coordinator, Greg television. Now, television plus not to be favored in any of going to change overnight until athletics is a major part of the Mantouth, who will continue to coverage and TV deals are up to these games, and just relax and go they see that we're very sincere university. If we're going to do it, I recruit nationally. "We've got to the individual schools themselves. play hard. We'll see what about being a part of the way this want it to be done right. If we're get out of the state of Texas more Brown says that it is hard to tell happens." The question is, will he than has been done before," Brown whether that ruling will help or like what he sees? ^ Open for Lunch SPORTS NOTES

KH :;KZ .... wEi.com. Injuries haunt first full-dress practice by Scott Snyder However, practicing on the contender for quarterback, Bev Carttier will be servinj grass did not cut down injuries dislocated his shoulder when he , everyday alon» with AMC For the first time in 14 years, the the TV. Don't forget that football team will hold all their during the team's first full dress tried to recover a fumble and have a great beer garden out i ihe back to studv with practices on natural grass instead practice of the season last landed on the ball. Both players Luds. Darts, Pool of practicing on the artificial turf Monday. Two possible starters will miss the first game September re JUSL a few of the tun things to do. Get your tri which serves as the playing surface were injured on that first full- L s i t me. kirip distan for Rice Stadium. The coaches uniform day of practice. Brad rtATCH FOR OUR DISCOUNT COUPOI hope that this will help to cut down, McKay, a freshman contender for By next week, Brown expects to IN THE RICE PROGRAM COUNC11 ON BOOK on costly knee and leg injuries a starting linebacker spot hurt his have picked his starters, and, which are often caused by the knee, and Sean Steale, a junior barring injuries, will begin to work shocks which are received on college transfer from California more regularly with them in 5607 Morningside artificial surfaces. who was considered to be a preparation for the season opener at Minnesota. He expects to have about four returning senior starters on offense and defense, and he hopes to avoid starting any freshmen, though injuries could force him to use some freshmen in H OLIDAYS starting positions. RICE

I SRAEL

JEWISH STUDENTS L UNCHES TUES., AUG. 28 SUN,, SEPT. 2 Brass L EARNING LUNCH CITYWIDE COOKOIJT SID RICH P.D.R. 2211 PALLMEADOW HAIR SALON 5 Open Home.: J 12 - 1:30 6P.M. j? Sunday, Aug. 26, £ MPATHY 1984 at 5:00 p.m. J E (RIDES AVAILABLE) •j F-OU)t RuhnaAAaZ: 5 S Tuesday, August < AUGHTER 749-2271 50% off on Art! 28, 1984 at ? L haircut, with this ad £ 4:00 p.m. S Expires August 31, 1M4. Xv.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.vvC The Rice Thresher, August 24, 1984, page 10 OWLOOK/bv Steve Mollenkamp Rice Sports Calendar Here's your guide to Rice sports Friday, August 31—Volleyball vs. Illinois- Sports, what is the meaning of course the intimidatin' spikin' Sex during half-time—What? Chicago, 7:30 p. m., Autry Court. this word exactly? What is the role Owls of volleyball. And miss the Mob? of athletics in America and in our Cheering—You have to do it. Sex after the game—Let's be nation's universities? How do We have a pretty small school and realistic here. Sunday, September 2—Volleyball vs. West athletics affect all of us? Beat's the a pretty small following, so every Southwest Conference—It's our Texas State University, 1:00 p. m., Autry Court. heck out of me, but as my Aunt bit helps. Just to get you started league. We started it, and if they Fatina used to say (and oh the way (and you can practice while you don't let us win pretty soon, we're she said it), "Who cares?" unpack. I have included some just going to take our football and Wednesday, September 5—Volleyball vs. Well there's one thing you've got great Rice cheers of the past. go home. Lamar University, 7:30 p. m., Autry Court. to care about and that's Rice Go Rice The Stadium—Built in the fifties athletics. Years I have studied Go Rice Owls by the Brown & Root Corporation sports at Rice (two long ones to be Go Rice Owls, win this game so freshmen can park their cars. Friday-Saturday, September 7-8—University exact), and as this is the premiere Go Rice Owls, win any game Studying—Much too much of of Texas—Arlington Volleyball Invitational edition of this premiere paper, I Hey babe, what you doing after this is going on. And if Rice is to think it a prime time to introduce the game? keep up its reputation of "the party (Baylor, UT—Arlington, Southwest Texas, all the new students (and the Fight Song—A catchy tune school" this side of South Sheperd, Tulsa, Kansas, Rice). slackoffs from last year) to the played intermittently through we're going to have to make some wonderful world of Rice athletics. football and basketball games by sacrifices. A little less time working Saturday, September 8—Football vs. Now, most of you say, "Rice the MOB (see below). Goes kind of the books and a little more athletics, that can't be too like this: partying down at the football Minnesota, 7:00 p. m., Away. complicated. Heck, I was Fight for Rice, Rice fight on, games. It's tough, but when the valedictorian of Birddrop High Loyal Sons arise. tough get going, the going gets Wednesday, September 12—Volleyball vs. (Birddrop, TX) and know The blue and gray are something tough. everything and once got honorable something, Texas A&M — Bunch of Georgia, 2:30 p. m., Autry Court. mention at the Beaumont area Dum de dum de dum wierdos. They walk, talk, and look science fair for my project Dum dum de dum dum de dum funny. Humor them. 'Lasers—God's Answer to the Red Sammy something dum... Thresher Sports—Finely tuned Russian Devil'." Hackerman, Norman—Savior journalism, expert sports analysis, WARNING!! Well you know what Aunt of the sports program. We sports dedicated and hardworking, and Fatina would say, and I say if you writers carry 3x5 glossies of the your source for Rice sports. What knew everything, they'd be paying guy in our wallets. Works part- more can I say for this great bunch Place your order for you the 500 dollars per week to time for a small university in of guys and gals. write this column and I'd be Texas. UT—Great university, good the 1983-1984 THRESHER shining shoes on Main street. So, Losing—Hey, it happens. Even academics, a lot of fun, and really without further ado (because it UT lost one last year. Builds rich. They win everything but bound volume. Checks must doesn't deserve it), I present this character and believe you me, we basketball. Tell people you like primer on sports at Rice. got some real characters at this smaller schools and UT was your be received by Oct. 10. Autry Court—Perhaps the school. "backup." finest (and some say it is) sports The Mob—On the wane. I hope this gets you through the arena this side of South Sheperd, Sometimes hilarious, sometimes first few weeks. Prices are THRESHER staff $25.00 Autry Court is the home of the about as funny as a double hernia, negotiable for individual dunkin' Rice Owls, the Lady the Mob is Rice's marching and instruction. And, by the way, non staff $30.00 almos' dunkin' Rice Owls, and of sitting band. welcome to Rice.

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The Rice Thresher, August 24. 1984, psge 11 first you learn to misclass So, fteshlings are here. Tune to readers. Often it strays into the obscene, consumption is the root of the supply a description of the Back Page. sex being an easy common something or other Friday, August twenty-fourth There are several sections. Paid Ads are denominator. Thatt fine, but don\ be rice pull over, please let's pull over and River Oaks. The Magic Christian (6:45) and The Ruling Class missives from beyond the hedges and limited by it Double entendres are people's (8:30). they help keep this rag afloat Read dangerous. One more out of context discuss the ramifications of a lasting calendar them. repetition of "come* or •screw" is not and complex raltionship. Next (take a number and shut going to interest me in the least. •**crem e and godley Saturday, August twenty-fifth up...weV get to you) Notes and Notices Joyce Rubash is another overworked sniksnikmlkmik&mVsnik River Oaks .Excalibur (1:45 A T) and Greystroke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the is a section youll need to remember as a source for back page humor that Apes (4:30 A 9:45). prospective politico of some sort or could probably go. See Macintosh. See Macintosh Sunday, August twenty-sixth another. Organizations publicize Witty and original are key words upcoming activities in this section. here. It doesn't take that much time and owners. See everybody with a 6PM. Pub opens. Dense fog in RMC basement. Macintosh. Who says Orwell was full River Oaks. The leopard (1:30, 5 A 8:30). University departments use it as a energy to make this a lot of fun. bulletin board. of it? Monday, August twenty-seventh If the rice people's calendar needs paid ads! All day. First day of classes. Sounds of wailing and gnashing of teeth prevalent on more explanation, ask your advisors. campus. Help Wanted: Part-Time For Sale: Beer Lights— many River Oaks. The Leopard (5 A 8:30). It'll make them feel wanted. And nervous. Messenger— Galleria area law brands & styles. Great for dorms, Tuesday, August twenty-eighth Misclass. What is misclass? What firm seeking student to perform apts, game rooms, etc. Prices range 6AM. End of first all nighter of semester. Give me some coffee or 111 smash your face. constitutes good misclass? part-time tasks — Tuesdays from $15 — $150, most between River Oaks. The Women (5 A 9:30) and Adam's Rib (7:30).' Traditionally, we have welcomed and/or Thursdays. Legal interest $50 — $60. Quantities limited. Call Wednesday, August twenty-ninth witty and original drivel of all kinds, and education preferred. $5/hour. Bruce at 546-8150 or 667-0337. Contact Vicki Tidwell at 871-0333, •** River Oaks. Racing with the Moon (5:15 A 9:30) and Diner (7:15). am usually irritated by the overly Help Wanted: Student or students private, understandable or not. 9:00 to 6:00, Monday through Thursday, August thirtieth Friday. needed for New York Times TeddyBear I Wuv U. Bushykins." deliveries. Job includes setup, River Oaks. Carmen (5:30 A 9) and Backstage at the Kirov (7:30). neither enlightens nor amuses most of •** Friday, August thirty-first Oenophiles (wine lovers): Looking sales, and delivery. For further the campus. Random gobbledygook information call Mary Robinson River Oaks. The Wall (5:30 A 9:45) and Quadrophenia (7:30). that is understandable only to the three for a part-time job to expand your knowledge of wine? Call the at 688-5194 or 1-800-631-2500. Saturday, September first people who were reading Paradise Lost *** and listening to K.LOL during last Village Cheese Shop today! 527- River Oaks. The Last Picture Show (2:45 A 7:30) and Terms of Endearment (5&9:45). 0398. Help wanted: Regional & local summer's eclipse bores everyone else reps to distribute posters on Sunday, September second *** and makes bpes (back page editors) college campuses. Part-time work River Oaks. Lawrence of Arabia (1:45 A 7:45) and The Wind and the Lion (5:30). wonder why they're doing this at 4 a.m. Professional Research for your reports, research papers, thesis, and more. No sales. Commission Monday, September third Unless it is interesting even if you dont plus piece work. Average earnings have all sorts of background info. dissertations, etc. Call 479-1778 All day. Labor Day. Students, faculty and staff imitate vegetables for extended Weekdays before 10 am & after 10 $6/hour. Contact: American periods of time. Good misclass generally has Passage, 500 Third Ave. West, River Oaks, Best of Warner Brothers cartoons (2, 3:45, 5:30, 7:15 A 9). pm. Anytime Sat. & Sun. something to offer most Thresher *** Seattle, WA 98119, 1-800-426- a few notes and notices 2836, network. For Sale: Ladies 5-speed Schwinn *** The Rice Gay/Lesbian Support lesbian/gay issues, often with achievement, with considerations bike; excellent condition; includes For Rent — Montrose Area: Group would like to welcome new speakers or films. Social events are of leadership and community lock cable, book rack, 2 nylon Apartment, 1 bedroom in small and returning students to the Rice scheduled throughout the year. involvement. To be eligible for this panier bookbags which clip on. renovated bldg., upstairs Campus We will be hosting a Gay For the location of our next scholarship, a GPA of 3.0 or $65 Call Karen *»669-908* 6 or x3246 w/ hardwood floor. We pay gas Student Orientation at 4:00 pm on meeting, or just someone to talk to, higher is needed. and water, you pay $250/mo. & Sunday, September 9, as our first call the Houston gay switchboard The National Hispanic Gowns for sale! Black sequin elec. 3810 Driscoll. Call 520-9769 meeting of the school year. This at 529-321, and ask for info on halter top gown worth $200; will Scholarship Fund is open to US for appointment. will be a get aquainted meeting — a RG/LSG. sell for $50. Baby blue Gunny Sak, **• chance to meet people, learn about *** citizens who have completed 15 $40. Call Karen at 669-9086 or Free Room and bath in West RG/LSG, and get information The Rice Canterbury (Episcopal) hosurs of credit with a 3.0 GPA. x3246. University plus $4 per hour, 20 about gay life in Houston. Food at Association will hold the annual Contact the Financia•** l Aid Office. *•* hours per week. Mother's helper the meeting will be a cold foods pot "Raising of the Parachute" this For Sale: For Arts 205- with 2 boys, 8 & 5. Must be non- luck. Sunday, August 26, beginning at I am a prisoner confined in New Photography Items: Polycontrast smoker and have car. Kathleen D. York State. I am seeking pen pals, The RG/LSG has been 4:00 pm and lasting until 8:00 pm X filters 1,2,2'/$,3,4. Set $20. Oliver; home—664-5357, work— or so. There will be fun, frolic and male or female. I'm doing 1 A to 15 Changing bag— you won't know 654-1122. recognized as an affiliate of the SA years for possession. I'm 22, white, for nearly five years. We welcome food to honor newcomers, how frustrating it is w/ o one until welcome returning students and single, and lonely. I have brown you have to drive back to the Loving and responsible person is gay undergraduate and graduate curly hair and brown eyes. wanted to care for our infant students, faculty, staff, and pat anyone else on the back. Autry media center every 6 pix to change House is located across South I will explain all about myself to film. Only $10. Misc.—grey cards, daughter during weekdays, alumni, as well as straight friends. preferably in our house. Location We are a support group, meaning Main from Lovett College. Just those who do correspond. A photo neg. sleeves, chemicals. Call Karen of those who do would be close to Rice. Hours and pay are that our top priority is to help men look for a half-crect, dirty-white 669-9086 or x324•*6* and women deal with the unique parachute in the front yard. Don't appreciated. I will try to send one negotiable. Call 660-6593. of myself. *** pressures of being gay. We respect miss it. P.S. It's free. For Sale: 1983 Datsun Sentra, For Rent — Montrose Area: each person's right to be as open or • •• Your letters will be deeply 18,000 mi., excellent cond., $6500. appreciated. Apartment,2 bedrooms w/hard- closeted as he or she likes, and The Hope Pierce Tartt Call 664-0776 wood floors and large windows. attendance at meetings is Scholarship is open to students of Norman C. Butts, 83-C-764, *** Albion Correctional Facility, 3595 Need odds and ends for your Nice outdoor area and new white confidential. Our programs during any race, creed, religion, or sex. It paint. $420 & gas & elec. 1827 W. the year address a full range of is based primarily on academic State School Rd..Albion, NY 1411 apartment? I'm selling the following: single bed with sheets— Main. Call 520-9769 for $60, chest of drawers—$70, end appointment. unenlightened misclass **• table—$10, table lamp—$15, Wanted: lady to share house (or parsnipsparsnipsparenipsparsnipsbeets. walls of the cylinder? If so, was some after He said, "Go forth and he oscillating fan—$15. Call Beth at form of flexible adapter used to aid fruitful. " This is of course the result rent room). SW area off Gessner 669-8492 or x3392/4874. near airport. Kosher meals Seen in On Campus-. "Campus Police insertion? 4)Will credit be awarded of contemplating the preceeding *** Sergeant Willie Anderson...was on duration of experimentation and statement and bears no connection For Sale: Normandy 4 clarinet, available. Phone 840-1498. honored for activities beyond the call of should the exam be finished in one with reality." excellent condition, hardly used, Occupancy September 4. "Damn," he thought to himself. *** duty, including., eating meals at the sitting (or other preferred position)? music stand incl•*. *Cal l 630-9297. Looking for an apartment? Find colleges." How unfulfilling his life had been. • •• Here he was at the culmination of For Sale: Kenmore microwave, 3 what you need: close to campus, Selections from the 812 Storybook good security, beautiful N.J.I. many years of toil and pain, and all mo. old, must sell***. Call 630-9297. Volume One he had to show for it was nine cents. landscaping, reasonable prices. Mech 481-Quiz 3 Aesop was a Dick "Ha!"you laugh, but it's true. He had For Rent — Montrose Area: Call and tell me what you need. No An 8 inch long, 1.25 inch dia. fuck slang, Teut., v. the act of sexual labored his whole life at substandard Apartment, 1 bedroom w/ mini- fee. Specialists inside the loop. The cylinder is press—fit into a 1.2 inch intercourse, to fuck. See also wages. One quarter of a quarter of a blinds, hardwood floor, covered apartment warehouse; Steve 772- dia. hole. TTie hole and the cylinder screwing, balling, humping , rutting, quarter of a cent per hour. God that's parking, and laundry facilities. 3400. are both maintained at 98.6° F. dicking, poling, doing, bending over, depressing. Who's the asshole who 2615 Commonwealth. $310 & •** When the cylinder acts as a piston, a laying pipe, walking the dog, wetting writes this drivel anyway? utilities. Call 520-9769 for For Rent: Apartment, 4 blks from lubricating fluid with a kinematic the weenie, slipping her the big boy, *** appointment. Campus. 1 Bdm./l Ba. $275/mo. viscosity of 1.65E-6 mQ/sec is dipping the dipstick, polishing the To the tune of / Wanna New Drug by *** & bills. 2415 Tangley. Pool. Call introduced into the system. The stinger, boffing, making babies, Huey Lewis and the News: House for Rent: 2121 McClendon, Danny 526-3589; 521-1228 cylinder operates at a frequency of doing the horizontal hustle, scoring a I wanna new guy. x/i mi. from Rice. Couple or family *•* 1.4 cycles/sec., where one cycle is run, makin' bacon, giving her the One that won't make me sick. only due to deed restrictions. Call For Rent: One Bedroom, all adult, defined by the distance traveled in One who drives an expensive car high hard one, motoring, priming the 761-2984, after 5:30 call 765-9157. pool, free cable, off-street parking, two strokes. By finding the skin pump, slamming, riding. Usage: I and's gotta big dick. *** roommates welcome. Deposit $75, friction coefficient, calculate the fucked her shorts off. She fucks like a I wanna new guy. Roommate Wanted to share large one month free. Call 664-8048 total heat transferred in five minutes bunny. He fucked her brains out. I One who knows how to dance. 2 bed/ 2 bath studio apartment *** if a) the cylinder is bare; and b) the like to fuck. I fuck. You fuck. One who smiles when he looks at me, approx. I mi. from campus. Quiet For Rent — Montrose Area: cylinder is covered by a thin He/She fucks (possibly at the same and then takes off his pants. neighborhood. $300 & 'A utilities Apartment, 2 bedrooms petroleum based rubber surface. time). We fuck. Y'all fuck. They chorus per month. Female non-smoker w/hardwood floors, miniblinds, Solutions by experimental work are fuck. One that wont make me nervous please. Call Anthony at 522-2320 central air/ heat, laundry facilities, preferred, and teram work is strongly Why must they always ask: Is it in wonderin' what to do. or Mary at 783-7343. and off street parking. 2301 recommended. Sign the pledge and yet? Are you done all ready? Who are One that says, "Give me a blow job," **• Norfolk. $375 & gas & elec. Call submit completed work to the Mech you thinking about? What are you and then gives me one, too. When Roommate needed for two bdrm., I'm alone with you. I wanna new 520-9769 for appointment. 481 box located in Ryon 101. doing? Does it always do that? Why one bath apt. with nice enclosed **• We had a few questions concerning didn't you wait forme? It's so... over? guy- patio. $165/mo. & half of bills. For Lease: House, 3 Bedroom/ 3 the assignment: l)Is the cylinder a Was it good for you, too? Is it One that won't go away. Locatcd between Buffalo & Kirby deformable solid? If so, is the One who fucks me all night long, Bath, zoned air/heat, den, supposed to be this soft? Is there and between Richmond & W. sunroom, hardwood floors, all deformation a function of time and more? and I don't have to pay. thus cycles? 2)Should the elasticity of I wanna new guy, Alabama (minutes from Rice). appliances (including microwave), And the Lord said, "Let there be Need be honest. Prefer female, clean, fenced yard, cycling distance the walls of the hole he considered? light," and there was light. Later on, who doesn't smoke or cough. 3)Is the cylinder a perfect right One who loves to get me drunk, non-smoker, neat w/good sense of from Rice. 2303 Graymercy (at He was sorry He had said this. Most humor. Call Sue Ellen at 523-4594; cylinder, i.e. is the forward surface a people like to fuck in the dark. and never jacks himself off. Greenbriar). $1200/month. Call circular area at right angles to the That's why He created night right repeat chorus leave message if neccessary. 227-5666 (days), 666-4578. The Rice Thresher, August 24, 1984, page 12