The Drink Tank 308 Well, As a Few of You Found, I Messed Up
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The Drink Tank 308 Well, as a few of you found, I messed up. I had a Taral Wayne piece laid out, and when I PD- Fed it, I F’ed it. I Know, you expect no less... This issue has the Taral Wayne piece, some LoCs, a look at a Back East con, some pieces I found in an Antique shop, and lots and lots of typ- ing. There’s also a look at a novel by one of my favorite authors, Mr. Ian McDonald! How can you go wrong? Linda and I went to Gallifrey and had an amazing time. I made a bunch of videos that are up on my YouTube page (my name: Johnnyepony- mous). I had never been, though I have a ton of friends who go every year and I was always saying “Next year, GALLIFREY!” This year we went and had an amazing time hanging with friends, including my erstwhile co-editor James Bacon, and partying with Deb and Ric Bretschneider and so many oth- ers. Got to meet Tara O’Shea, who it turns out led me to a scary case of mixed identitities. I had heard that Charles Ardai was in town and would be visiting the museum. This was awesome; I love Hard Case Crime. That afternoon, our PR person was downstairs talking with someone who I as- sumed was Charles. I went up, started a conversa- tion and mentioned how much I liked his books. He mentioned that he followed my Twitter and he’d liked a piece by Tara in issue 300. I got back on Monday and mentioned that I’d told Tara that Charles had liked her work. “When’d you meet Charles?” she asked. I said she introduced me the other day. “That wasn’t Charles Ardai.” She said. It hadn’t been Charles at all. I double- checked my Twitter followers - Charles Ardai, nope! Epic Fail! It sucks that I’m so very, very lame... Letter Graded Mail sent to [email protected] by our Loyal Readers First, several people note my failures! And now, Lloyd Penney! Loc to Drink Tank 307, 5 Feb 2012 “Repent, Flintstone,” said the Lic-Loc Dear Chris: Man! “We have you dead to rights.” It’s catch up time again...I have not two, I anticipate each and every Taral Wayne “No, you don’t.” not three, but fours issues of The Drink Tank to article in Drink Tank with a passion. Alas, despite “Yes, we do. We’ve been watching your catch up with. Forthwith and henceforth, here I the promise of one such in this very issue, there zine for ages, waiting for you to make a mis- go! was none to be seen. I was duped! take.” 304...Splat! If it wasn’t for the eyeballs signed, Fredrick Worthless. “Screw you. If I hadn’t been distracted and teeth, I’d swear someone got smacked with by a jelly-roll I wouldn’t have slipped up.” a pot of spaghetti sauce. Ick! is right! I wish you I 4 1 was looking 4ward 2 to CN the lat- It was not only the Man who had been did get more responses. Some people you and I est issue of Drink Tank. Each and every issue is watching for the Flintstone to mess up. He also know complain about your lack of a locol, and an exciting adventure in the possibilities of the had finks, scabs, tattletales, stool pigeons and the fact I’m in there a lot. They complain, but will scientific future! The current issue appeared on- Lloyd Penney watching him. It was inevitable not do anything else beyond that, including actu- line today, only just hours ago, inspiring me to they’d catch him in a mistake sooner or later. So ally responding. I never did get to see The Artist, read it from cover to cover even before I saved what the hell, they did. but I think it’s still in the theatres here. the file. Yet somehow I felt let down at the end. “You never!” I’d have one more regularly, but alas, it’s not There was something missing... some indefinable, “You introduced a Taral Wayne contribu- something I could do myself (unless I started yet necessary detail had been overlooked that tion, but you never printed it!” writing myself LoCs, which would be interest- allowed a brave experiment in scientifiction- “Sod off.” ing as I often have strange takes on things I iteering to finish with less than perfect results. “Repent, Flintstone,” said the Lic-Loc write!). You shoudl see The Artist. It’s a magi- Then I had it! Despite the formula clearly stated Man! cal experience! on the first page, a vital ingredient had been left Scanners! More splat! This movie starred out! The Taral Wayne article was missing! Up Yours, Haroon El-Ison Canadian actor Michael Ironside, who got the -- Hugo Gernsbunk So true, all of them... chance to be either the villain or the tough, scowling lead character in a lot of tv series and again, they are quick to point out what they see The third was promised but never deliv- movies. And of course, it was directed by anoth- as a problem, but will be damned if they are go- ered, and I am sure those stories are in one of er Canadian David Cronenburg. ing to be part of the solution. Keep producing Harlan’s filing cabinet drawers. We’ve all wished I really wanna see the new Cronenburg, what you want your zine to look like. they’d come out and emerge into the daylight, the one abot Jung and Freud starring Vigo You know, I never really noticed that when but that probably won’t be. I hope there might Mortensen and Daniel Craig. It sounds awe- I was reading Emerald City. It was just so be anthologies that will surprass these books, some. I think Fassbender’s in there too! damned good! but that probably won’t be, either. We seem to My loc...no, didn’t know you were com- I have used Mike Glicksohn and Harry be, if not content, at least appeased by the paro- ing up to Michigan to guest at a con! Which Warner as inspirations for my letter writing. I dies and outright criticisms; I will say what has one? You must see Wall-E...borrow the DVD or will not compare myself to them, but they told happened has happened, and carry on without download it. An excellent movie with a message. me how important it was to respond to fanzines, the usual bile. It was a great anthology, A,DV We could go to Chicago, but money is so tight... and I fully agree, and I still do, there is the hope came close to it, and LDV shall not be until per- that’s why we are not going to Chicon 7, or Lone that there will be some kind of response to a haps Harlan has gone, and has left the stories to Star Con 3, but saving what little we can skim off zine, and some newer editors are disappointed an executor. Only then may LDV be the greatest the top on going to London in 2014. Lots of locs, when no one does, or at least, I’m the only one anthology ever, and worth waiting for. and you are always welcome to them. who does. I don’t want t6o see them gone, I want I seem to remember someone on a panel DId I say Michigan? I meant Minnesota for them to stay and have the good time I’m having. saying “you’ll know Harlan is broke and des- Minicon. It’s awesome since I’ve never really I respond to say not only I liked your zine, and perate when he actually delivers The Last been to Minneapolis or The Mall of Ameri- here’s why, but also to say welcome, and you are Dangerous VIsions.” ca. I’ve been to Robinsdale and a few of the accepted. 307...You have to come up here during any Bol- other places where old AWA wrestlers were After Forry, Harry is my greatest fannish lywood festival. Toronto seems to be one of the from. Also, I think we should start referring to hero (right up there with Ed Meskeys and largest Bollywood markets outside of India, and Canadian grapplers and Wrestliers... Earl Kemp) and Mike is not far behind these we have such a huge Indian immigrant popula- I’ve got a 500 Gb backup drive that I have days. I rally wish I’d been paying more atten- tion. Even Bollywood film debuts have happened to use more often. It actually did help me with tion back in the day... here. Some local fans will show up in their linen the last trip to the repair shop. The photo with Hey, John Purcell! Fuckin’-A, bro! I was suits and saris. Also, come up here to the head two suits behind a microphone...the guy on our David against the DT300 Goliath, and it took office of the NFB, and soak it in. The Bell Light- right is Louis del Grande. The music is by How- some days, but I knocked it down. box is a huge building, built on land donated by ard Shore, who is up for an Oscar for the mu- 306...As you say, Chris, this is a Dangerous Vi- Ivan Reitman, and it is the home of the Toronto sic for Hugo.