The Reluctant Famulus 112 July/August 2016 Thomas D. Sadler, Editor/Publisher, etc. 305 Gill Branch Road, Owenton, KY 40359 Phone: 502-484-3766 E-mail: [email protected] Contents Introduction, Editor 3 Some more old Photos 7 Taken by A UFO, Frederick Moe 10 Among the Missing, Editor 12 Kentucky Palisades, Alfred D. Byrd 15 The Most Selfish, Eric Barraclough 20 The Crotchety Critic, Michaele Jordan 23 NAE Gayle Perry 26 Letters 31 A Planet 46 Artwork/Photos Steve Stiles Front cover, Back cover, 45 Anna Byrd 15, 16, 17,18 Teddy Harvia 47 Kynocks 33, 37, 41, 44 Spore 31, 35, 39, 43 Robert Kennedy 6, bottom right corner Internet 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 20, 22 The Reluctant Famulus is a product of Strange Dwarf Publications. Some of the comments expressed herein are solely those of the Editor/Publisher and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of any sane, rational persons who know what they are doing and have carefully thought out beforehand what they wanted to say. Material not written or produced by the Editor/Publisher is is printed by permission of the various writers and artists and is copyright by them and remains their sole property and reverts to them after publication. TRF maybe obtained for The Usual but, in return for written material and artwork, postage costs, The Meaning of Life, and Editorial Whim. 2 The Reluctant Famulus Introduction: Drips from a leaky mind Or, I’ll never do that again. In spite of what I wrote in the intro to I’m sure everyone noticed it: “y”. It was the previous issue I’m really not as bad supposed to be “by”. This in spite of off as it may have seemed. It was, among (supposedly) error catching as I type and other things, meant as a reminder to my- self not to become complacent and lax having later run a spell-check. Upon dis- and do the best I can. I was just doing covering that error I didn’t have the cour- what a lot of people do—indulging in a bit age to look for any more. There wouldn’t of exaggeration. be any sense to do so since the issue was Unfortunately it seems to have caused already on its way to my victims—er— a bit of confusion also. I apologize for readers. Well this gives everybody the that. I realize there’s a good chance I’ll fun of looking for however many dozens get all sorts of advice. But that doesn’t of typos I still missed. I can hardly wait mean I’ll take any of it. Heck, I could give to see how many and what typos were advice to people but I suspect none of missed in this issue. There’s no sense in them would take any of it, which is their crying over spilt (or spilled if you prefer) right. milk, as the old saying goes. Or maybe It would seem, too, that the bit about that should be spilt typos. a kick in the butt and the “ouch” were Now some more deranged or crackpot perhaps a bit too subtle an attempt at hu- random thoughts from someone who mor. might seem to be someone with too much A side note to Dave Rowe: Don’t take time on his hands. some of the preceding seriously. I’m I got to wondering if anyone has come grinning as I write this. From now on I’ll up with the possibility that one or more try to make it obvious that I’m only jok- highly advanced civilizations of intelli- ing gent beings whose technology is so far Another side note: So far, over all ahead of ours that they are able to moni- these years, no one has asked me to stop tor (watch) us from the very beginning sending TRF to them (although that our species appeared on Earth. In real could change at any time). Of course time, with no time lag. If so, long before upon receiving a copy someone may now they have probably decided 1. that throw it into the trash unread—or as a they and we have nothing in common or fire starter. Now that would be a worth- of any use for us, 2. We wouldn’t be any while purpose and use. good as food (or else are vegetarians) As usual, after mailing this issue I dis- and would probably give them gastroin- covered an error I missed and should testinal problems or nausea and dizzi- have caught. In the introduction one of ness, 3. We were too stupid or unreliable the words is missing a letter. The heck of to be slaves or they employ AI robots. 4. it is, the word is only two letters long. Been there, seen that, done that, there’s 3 nothing new to see. 5. That, as Douglas self to writing it out. Such as D. J. T. who Adams would say, we’re relatively harm- desires to be the leader of one of Earth’s less and no threat to them and they’re major nations. The shame! The horror! thankful we live so far away in the boon- I’d rather have the advanced extrater- docks as they may consider our little restrials stop by for a visit. spot in the universe. 6. That we wouldn’t Speaking of extraterrestrials . be good zoo specimens; they’ve seen our According to an article by Seth Shostak, Sen- kind before or they didn’t believe in such ior Astronomer, Seti Institute there was things as zoos. 7. That they have access something called “A Ping from the Cos- to a huge number of, habitable to them, mos” planets within a reasonable distance. He said, “It’s as if someone in a gal- On the other hand, it might slightly axy far, far away rang a loud bell.” He be possible they would offer to give us ac- wonders if it could it be a signal from cess to their technology such as FTL aliens trying to get in touch? Or is it starships with the proviso that we go off something hitherto unknown, but still in a different direction to some other completely natural? part of the universe and pester other civi- He notes that the ring came in the lizations. That might be their tactic of form of a fast radio burst (FRB), a phe- getting even with those other highly ad- nomenon that’s been causing astrono- vanced other civilizations, subtly having mers to scratch their scalps for nearly a us do their dirty work, knowing they’d decade. Finally, an international team of never have to keep an eye on us because researchers announced some significant we’re the gullible idiot children who progress in understanding FRBs. really can’t do that much harm. But then, Here’s a bit of background. In 2006, considering the unbelievably chaotic way Duncan Lorimer, an astronomer at West that one of the U. S. Presidential cam- Virginia University, was going through paign is going and especially one seem- reams of cosmic static that had been col- ingly deranged candidate in particular lected by the Parkes radio telescope, a and his deluded followers are acting at 210-foot diameter antenna located in least some small part of our species Australia. Unexpectedly, Lorimer found might be of more harm than those hypo- an intriguing signal that lasted for less thetical advanced aliens guessed. That is, than an eyeblink—it was a radio pulse. It if they’ve also been monitoring that seg- was quickly nicknamed a fast radio ment of our species. burst, for obvious reasons. No one had a On the third hand—if they happen to clue as to its cause. They wondered if it have one— maybe they’re watching us as was it really the radio signature of some- entertainment and shaking their heads— thing out there—maybe even a deliberate that’s assuming they have heads—at our, signal from intelligent beings. Or was it to them, crazy and irrational antics. Fur- merely an instrumental glitch? ther, they may be relieved and thankful It was a hard question to answer for they don’t live on a planet where persons something that seemed to be a cosmic such as . I can’t do it. I can’t lower my- one time sound. So how can anyone 4 study it if they no longer can see it? Subaru pointed to a suspect—an ellip- Since there was no good reply to that, tical galaxy 6 billion light-years away. astronomers looked for other FRBs—an According to astronomers Elliptical gal- intimidating task that’s somewhat akin axies are football-shaped, often massive to studying giant squids. Someone may stellar assemblages that frequently have claim to have seen one, but you won’t be giant black holes at their centers. The sure they actually exist until someone suspected source of the FRB isn’t in our spotted them again. And the next sight- corner of the cosmos. It’s three thousand ing could happen anywhere. times farther away than the Andromeda The search for more FRBs was dis- galaxy—the familiar cousin of the Milky couraging; months were spent searching Way which is a popular wallpaper on lap- through data looking for something that tops. might not even be there and real. Surpris- So now astronomers know from where ingly, additional bursts were found. They this particular FRB comes. But they still are, very brief, only milliseconds in don’t know for sure what produced it.