The WALRUS The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. - Lewis Carroll

2 Vol. LXIX No. 7 St. Sebastian’s School May 2016 School of Cards: Student Council Election 2016 Results Show Changing of Guard We sat down with Joe for a ning on bringing in some more bas- By Chris Vallace ‘17 little Q & A to get some insight on his ketball and floor hockey tournaments cabinet and his plans for the future: to supplement March SADDness. HEAD WRITER Q: First off, congratulations. Is there Additionally, we are working on the anyone you would like to thank? menu with Chef Mike, allocating Ladies, gentlemen, Trevor A: Yeah, I’d like to thank really the the budget a little differently, maybe Yandow, I present to you the 2016- whole student body. I mean they came bringing back some old favorites, and 2017 Student Body President, Joe out and they voted and really showed getting rid of others. O’Malley. up. Q: Can you give any specifics? Many of you outside the Q: How is your cabinet looking? A: All I can say right now is we will Junior class may not know Joe A: Well, at Secretary of State, we have definitely be switching to pizza every Frank Underwood or Joe O’Malley? You decide. O’Malley outside of his eccentric Evan “Sunshine” Reddick, who really other friday, so we will be having and unpredictable speeches. Sadly, brings a lot of energy to the meetings. pizza one week, then the next week Joe will not be frequenting the That being said, he also brings a lot we will be having chicken patties, or The Rise of the Planet of podium as often as his predeces- of disorganization. (Upon hearing some other crowd pleaser. sors due to a lapsus lingua--an this comment, Reddick responded, Q: Any other big things on the unfortunate slip of the tongue, one “If Donald Trump were politically agenda? the New Editors might say. As a result, I hope to correct, nothing would be done.” We A: We are looking into changing up take you behind the scenes and are not quite sure why he said this, as the rules with the wifi. It is a long and By Your New Editors and Andrew gets it done. He can always into the life of the young man who it is completely unrelated, but we like arduous process, however, and will Jake O’Neil '17 guess how many jellybeans are in a has won the hearts of many, while where his head’s at.) take some time, so be patient there, It’s 2016, the year of the jellybean jar, even if he’s wrong. He’s also alienating many others; he is a Q: And what about Vice President, we are trying to make it happen. fire monkey, and the Walrus has sometimes the friendliest guy in the polarizing guy. He takes risks. Like Thaddeus Kennedy? Q: Fantastic, we are looking forward got four new editors ready to create room, and you can be sure that when- in his favorite sport, baseball, he A: He is adamantly pursuing the resti- to the rest of your term. Any other the greatest newspapers that you ever there is a pants-party, he’ll make swings for the fences every time, tution of the suggestion box. things you would like to say? have ever laid eyes on. Ideas like sure to invite you. A little known fact and when he makes contact, it is a Q: Girls on campus, too? A: I’d just like to thank everyone “Online Version” and “Live Walrus about him is that he once stabbed a guaranteed home run, but when he A: Not yet. (When asked about the again, and I’m happy to be here. Mascot” are already flying around seventh grader with a trident. He may misses, he misses big. However, subject, Thad responded, “No com- There we go. A little taste the editorial room. Now, we would love carpet, he may love lamp, but Joe’s baseball career has been put ment.”) of Mr. President, Joe O’Malley, but be remiss in not thanking the 2015 most of all he loves you, St. Sebas- on hold due to a series of nagging Q: Speaking of suggestions, what is it is not the whole pie. If you wish to editors for a job well done, and we tian’s community. shoulder injuries. Outside of the in the works at the moment? Any big learn more, feel free to approach him know that we have some big shoes diamond, Joe is actually a very tal- plans or changes to look forward to? in the halls and start a conversation to fill. We’re ready to prove to you 3. Michael Hartman (a.k.a. ented musician. He plays the piano A: Oh yeah, big time. We got Red and together...and get to know the newest that we’re up to the task, and we Champ Kind): Michael Hartman is and has dabbled in the trumpet. Black Day coming up, and are plan- face of the Sebs' student council. will do everything we can to im- known, above all, for his wild streak: prove this newspaper. Things have he can be found often dancing on been going groovily, and we’ll try tables at lunch, going wild at the 70s to make a smooth transition. And dance, or starting a fire in the chem so, without further ado, it’s about labs. His trademark catchphrase, time that you got to know your an- “Sebbos,” is often heard echoing Seb’s Says Goodbye to chormen, the new Walrus editors. throughout the halls of St. Sebastian’s. His favorite meal at lunch is ‘chicken 1. Jackson McKeigue (a.k.a. patty of the cave’. During sports, he Beloved Faculty Members often threatens to take opposing play- Ron Burgundy): The levelheaded been part of the Seb’s community for teacher) will also be retiring this year. leader of the four, Jackson comes ers’ relations out for a nice, seafood By Marty White ‘18 twenty-three years as an organizational Mr. Kittler has been here for a long to the Walrus equipped with all dinner and then never call them again. specialist, will retire to Mashpee at Each year, students antici- time, teaching chemistry to sopho- the necessary skills of an editor. the end of the year. She says that it is pate the end of the school year. What mores and the basics of physics and He’s got the hair, he rarely makes 4. Jake O’Neil (a.k.a. Brian “time for her to retire and enjoy life we often forget is that the end of chemistry to eighth graders. Mr. Kit- foolish choices (aside from the one Fantana): 60% of the time, Jake works with my husband,” and that she has the school year isn’t just a time for tler is sad about leaving and will “miss time he grabbed milk at lunch), every time. He is, of course, the styl- “enjoyed working here with such great excitement; it’s also a time for good- the people,” but he is excited to visit and you know that he always stays ish one of the group--his tasteful pink young men” and “will miss everyone byes. Not only are the graduating stu- his family in the Northwest. One of his classy. He knows how to follow shirt can often be seen from miles like crazy.” She has been helpful to dents departing, but also some of our favorite things about teaching was the orders, that is to say that he reads away. He is quite successful with the many people over the years, whether it beloved teachers. Each of the teach- student-teacher interaction. “Teaching whatever the teleprompter says ladies, or so he tells us, and he attri- be through her organizational strategy ers leaving this year - Mr. Williams, young people has kept me young all during student announcements, but butes his success to his illegal cologne classes in seventh grade or her helpful Mr. Kittler, Mrs. Maloney, Mr. Foley, these years,” says Kittler. Mr. Kittler, he also knows how to give orders. made from actual walruses. Most say meetings after school. For her many and Mr. Drummond - deserve one you will be missed. Thanks for being a Most importantly, he’s Jackson he smells like the inside of a varsity years of service, she deserves our grati- last thanks for all their contributions great teacher and good luck. McKeigue? locker room, but he maintains that he to the school. For years, they’ve all Mr. Foley, another graduate tude and apprecation. is cloaked in the scent of desire. Re- Finally, Mr. Drummond is bestowed their valuable knowledge who returned to teach, is also leaving 2. Andrew Elcock (a.k.a. gardless, he certainly would be the life also departing at the end of the year. to us and helped us grow as scholars. this year in order to go to law school. Brick Tamland): Although he’s of the party, if the Walrus editors ever Mr. Drummond, a beloved English Now, it’s our turn to acknowledge Mr. Foley, who graduated in 2009, not the sharpest tool in the shed, got invited to any. them for everything they’ve done. came back a few years later in order teacher and advisor to the Walrus, will Mr. Williams has been a to teach religion. He quickly became be leaving (literally) big shoes to fill. member of the St. Sebastian’s com- an important person on campus, and He and his family are moving to New munity for a long time. A former it was like he never left. He became Haven, where he will teach and counsel student at Seb’s, Williams graduated involved with running several extra- students at the Hopkins School. in 1964. He would soon return as curricular activities, sports teams, and Every year we say to our the Varsity hockey coach and history the chapel speaking program. He helps graduating seniors, “Once in, never teacher. He has taught here ever with Debate, Harvard Model Con- out, Arrows forever.” The same goes since. Though he no longer coaches gress, soccer, JV hockey, and Moot for our teachers. They have been very our hockey team, he still teaches Court. Mr. Foley, though you were not influential in our learning and have left history. Mr. Williams’ sense of humor here long, you were an integral part of a lasting mark on us as we grow up to will be missed when he retires at the the community. Good luck with your become better men. Thanks again to the end of the school year. future endeavors. departing teachers for all you’ve done Mr. Kittler (Chemistry Mrs. Maloney, who has for us during your time teaching here and good luck in the future.

San Diego's Greatest News Team Mirrors New Walrus Editors To all the teachers who have served St. Sebastian's until now: you will be missed. (Image provided by Rolling Stone)

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Drake or Beyonce? Does Not Appear in Photo: Page 3 Joe O’Malley’s JV Lacrosse Presidency Page 4 Page 2 THE WALRUS May 2016

Bill Burke’s Chocolate Factory: A Night at the Semiformal Silence. I stood there awkwardly, my opinion, the only thing superior to QUOTES of By Matt Wolpe ‘18 thinking: completely breezed by two candy is remarkable live music, and As the doors opened and a girls from Hingham High. Absolutely this dance had both. Needless to say, mystical candy land was unveiled, ideal start to Semi. Otherwise, I spent I was having trouble breathing while students prepared for the night of the majority of the pre-party opening chewing on candy and listening to live their lives. the door for incoming couples and pre- music. It was a lot for me to handle. the MONTH On April 29th, the fresh- tending to be the house owner, shaking Deservedly, the jazz band received men and sophomores of St. Sebas- their hands and saying, “Welcome to noisy applause at the conclusion of tian’s were joined by their female my house,” in the same tone as Flo their set, and then they disappeared companions for a night of fun and Rida. I wish I were kidding. into the night...until next year’s semi. “He’s gonna give him big entertainment at the annual Semi- 7:47 - As my date and I 9:13 - Yeah 3x by Chris Formal dance. I will stop my ro- walked onto the setting of Ward Hall, Brown comes on. ‘Time to assassinate sloppy friendship kisses.” botic tone there and open by saying I couldn’t help but feel like I was a the dance floor,’ I think to myself. I this: I do not feel uniquely qualified character in Charlie and The Choco- do. to speak on behalf of everybody at late Factory. The room was littered 10:11 - Around this time, my -Mr. S. Cressotti the Semi-Formal dance; therefore, I with amazing candy-related items fellow classmates have left to return to will just give you a brief rundown of from the Student Council. Elaborately their respective homes or continue the my Friday night. decorated jumbo sized candies, a night at a friend’s house. But that’s “Jake, how about you do 6:45 - My evening began replica of the Candy Land map, and not how I operate. I had requested at a pre-party, the entire house an enormous Golden Ticket hanging 'Whatever You Like', by T.I, earlier smelling of overpriced hair gel from above the Jazz Band performers. in the night, and was willing to wait some work for once?” along with the scent of lingering Bowls of candy were arranged for all until my nursing home days to hear it. hopes and dreams. Right off the dance goers to enjoy, and let me just Though it never came, I still enjoyed -Andrew Elcock ‘17, to draw, I met two young ladies with tell you: enjoy, I did. The limited edi- dancing to Pitbull’s music (apparently a craving for Versace attire and tion Sour Apple Starbursts tasted more that’s music) and finishing up a perfect prolonged conversation. “So, where like some sort of heavenly fruit juice night at semi. fellow editor Jake O’Neil ‘17 do you guys go to school?” I asked. to me. Although such gratitude of- “Hingham High School,” they 8:30 - Somewhere around ten fails to be demonstrated, on every- responded almost simultaneously, this time, the brilliant jazz band per- one’s behalf I would like to thank the not sure who should speak first and formers took to the stage. Their play maintenance staff, the student council, not bothering to consult each other energized the dancers and brought an the jazz band, and everybody else who “I’m a psycho.” on it. “That must be a great time.” entirely new aspect to the dance. In helped set up the Semi-Formal Dance. -Mr. Beaule

“I keep hearing about how great this Junior class is...the sad thing is I’m hearing it from them.” -Mr. Nerbonne A photo taken of the dance floor at Semi reveals the lavish gradeur of a typical Sebs dance. Movie Review: Captain America: Civil War Avengers are on board with this new especially out of Iron Man’s team Moot Court Rundown: By J.P. Milbury ‘19 agreement, and as a result, a division member, a teenage Spider-man. For Captain America: Civil is created within the team. Half of the example, when asked if he could go War begins with an intense scene Avengers, lead by Captain America, to Germany to fight with Iron Man, Finals Fast Approaching with several members of the are against the document, while the Peter Parker explains that he cannot Avengers team meeting fighting other half, led by Iron Man, believe go because he has to do homework. By Steve Karol ‘17 sis, making the job of Justice Cleary in a building. The building soon that the Accords will benefit the world. Moreover, his confusion and awe of and Justice Dagdigian rather difficult. explodes and results in the death The result of this division the others on the battlefield make for HEAD WRITER As veteran Moot Court Finalists, se- of multiple innocent civilians. In is pure action and entertainment. It some terrific moments that break the doesn’t matter if you are an obses- tension of an otherwise serious film. As the 2016 Moot Court niors Korzeniowski and Potvin have response to this event, the United sive superhero lover, or someone who Overall, Captain America: Tournament winds down, the competi- their eyes on the prize this year. Nations creates a document called tion and the tension has only contin- On the other side of the the Sokovia Accords. This agree- just wants to kill some time, Captain Civil War is an entertaining movie ued to mount as the final round is less bracket board, Sam Gordon and ment leads to the government’s America: Civil War is a must-see that appeals to all types of viewers. It than two weeks away. Since my last Andrew Elcock argued against Stevie supervision of the Avengers and movie. The combat scenes are intense doesn’t matter what your interest level update, the Semi-Final rounds battled Karol and Michael Hartman. Sam ultimately takes away the freedom and everything a movie watcher could is in the series, you need to go out to and Andrew represented the United with the Olmstead vs United States of the Avengers to fight the world's hope for. In addition, there are some the theater and see this movie. States and Stevie and Michael repre- case, and the victors of the opposing evils. However, not all of the pretty funny parts in the fight scenes, Rating: 4 of 5 Stars sides of the brackets were crowned sented Olmstead. The basis of Sam and prepped for the final round on and Andrew’s argument emphasized May 25th. Before detailing the highly the extent of the illegal operation of anticipated 2016 Moot Court Finals, Olmstead and his bootlegging gang, Reviewing the Revue: A Smashing Success we must first examine the exhilarating and the proposition that evidence is evidence, regardless of the means By Patrick Ryan ‘18 actors ranged from middle schoolers to the night, the crowd was kept curled action displayed in the Semi Finals. seniors, and all the effort put into lean- over in laughter. The Olmstead vs United by which it is obtained. Stevie and Michael heavily relied on precedent ing lines and performing was much After a brief intermission, States case reached the Supreme Court appreciated. They filled Ward Hall the music started. The Pop Rock in 1928, during the Prohibition era. Mr. cases and the fact that the federal After sports had ended on agents had deliberately not obtained a Friday, May 13th, students, faculty, with laughter at their silly gags, and band, directed by Mr. Pettine, started Roy Olmstead, the notorious leader of punchlines. The first skit, directed by it off by playing “Just What I Needed” a widely successful bootlegging opera- search warrant prior to their inves- parents, and guests gathered in Ward tigation. In the end, the court sided Hall for the St. Sebastian’s Spring Nick Howell ‘18 and William Forman by The Cars. Then the Jazz Band, tion in Washington, sued federal Pro- ‘18, was The Dead Parrot, a Monty directed by Mr. Grohmann, performed hibition agents for violating his Fourth with the argument of the Olmstead Revue. The Spring Revue is where representatives, Stevie Karol and students get to have a good time by Python short about a dissatisfied five songs, some of which were from and Fifth Amendment rights after the customer complaining about his dead the list they played at the Semi-Formal agents revealed they had tapped the Michael Hartman. performing comedic skits or playing In the evening of May 25th, music in front of families and friends parrot to a witty shopkeeper. Next was Dance a few weeks ago. They were telephone wires of Mr. Olmstead’s of- Tarantino Variation, directed by Marty as follows: “All the Things You Are” fice in order to obtain almost 800 pages David Korzenowski and Chris Potvin at the end of the year will argue against Stevie Karol and Every year, the night is a White ‘18, which involved a comic by Jerome Kern and Oscar Hammer- of incriminating transcripts regard- parody of a Mexican Standoff. Third stein, “On Green Dolphin Street” by ing his illegal operation. The Fourth Michael Hartman in the 2016 Moot time where the audience sees numer- Court Finals. The judges of the case ous drama productions and listens came Balloon Shot, a skit directed by Bronislau Kaper, “Run Around Sue” Amendment protects a person’s right to Thomas Olson ‘18. It was about a by Dion Dimuci, “Northside Gal” by be secure in his or her “persons, houses, have yet to be announced but are re- to musical performances by the Pop portedly highly qualified judges from Rock Ensemble and the Jazz Pop En- prisoner who, to everyone’s disbelief, JD McPherson, and“Let’s Dance” by papers, and effects” from unreasonable manages to escape from jail in a hot David Bowie. There were solos by searches and seizures, and the Fifth the Boston area. The case, Agostini semble. Students have an opportunity v Felton, centers around the issue of to show their acting or music ability air balloon. This is a Test, directed by Nolan McGovern ‘21 on the Tenor Amendment protects a person from Andrew Elcock ‘17, portrayed a stu- Saxophone, and Finn Mulligan ‘18 being a witness against him/herself in a government aid to parochial schools. in the spring to conclude all the work In the case, the parents of school they have done. Unlike many theatri- dent’s hilarious struggles while taking on the Guitar. Also, senior Michael criminal case. The major clash between an exam. Finally, a group of seniors, Rozewski performed for the last time the opposing sides in the actual case children asked the New York City cal productions or performances, the Board of Education to rule that the Spring Revue is a more casual affair, led by David Korzeniowski ‘16, per- in the Jazz Band on the trumpet. was the question of whether or not the formed one last time in front of a St. Overall, the night was a wiretapping constituted an “unreason- earlier 1985 Aguilar v Felton deci- where the members of the Drama sion, a ruling that stated supplemental Club have the opportunity to express Sebastian’s audience, and they didn’t success. If you didn’t make it out able search.” disappoint. They gave the crowd an this year, be sure to next time―you On May 5th, David Korze- aid to disadvantaged children could themselves. Mr. Rogers, who is not be given on parochial school the head of the drama club, lets the amazing reboot of The Tomato Skit. It won’t regret it. A quick thanks to all niowski and Chris Potvin faced Mike depicts the failures of someone trying the people who came out in support, Rozewski and Matt Barron. David and premises, was no longer a suitable students choose skits to perform and law. Although the Supreme Court direct themselves, giving them added to sell tomatoes because the simple the actors and directors of drama club, Chris represented the United States and questions asked by customers stump all the musicians, the lights and sound used precedents and logical reasoning ultimately sided with Agostini, the responsibilities. He also encourages court was notoriously divided on this students to write their own skit if they him. They took it to a whole new crew, Mr. Pettine, Mr. Grohmann, Mr. to argue that there was no unreasonable level by having fun with it and ending Rogers, and the seniors who left their search or seizure of Mr. Olmstead’s case, making the Moot Court Finals want to. an interesting competition. Korze- This year, five skits were per- with an unexpected twist. Needless to mark on the Fine Arts program during property. On the contrary, Mike and say, throughout the entire first half of their career at Seb’s. Matt defended Olmstead by urging the nowski and Potvin will represent formed, and all were comedies. The court to view the Fourth Amendment Agostini and Michael Hartman and liberally, which would heavily contrib- Stevie Karol will represent Felton in this case. All students, faculty mem- THE WALRUS ute to proving the federal agents’ viola- A St. Sebastian’s Publication tion and their unreasonable search. In bers, and friends and family of the St. the end, the presiding judges of Justice Sebastian’s community are welcome Senior Editors: Andrew Elcock ‘17, Jake O’Neil ‘17, Jackson McKeigue ‘17, Cleary and Justice Dagdigian ruled in to witness this historical battle on Michael Hartman ‘17 favor of the United States, David and May 25th—it will surely be worth the Chris. Both sides argued the case with wait. Apprentice Editors: “BIG Donald,” little Marco, “Lyen’ Ted,” laudable clarity and professional analy- Head Writers: Chris Vallace '17, Sam Cullen '17, Steve Karol '17, Sam Gordon '17, Thomas Wasnyczuk '17

Editors Emeritus: : Greg DeMatteo’16, Owen Finnegan’16, Paul Keady’16, David Korzeniowski’16, Jimmy Ryan’16 Faculty Advisor: Mr. Dan DrummondThe Walrus is the official student newspaper of St. Sebastian’s School. The Wal- rus seeks to provide news and entertainment for the St. Sebastian’s community, as well as to provide an open forum for students to offer opinions on issues related to world, na- The Walrustional, andis theschool official affairs. studentThe opinions newspaper expressed of herein St. Sebastian’sdo not necessarily School. reflect The opinWalrus- seeks to pro- vide news and ionsentertainment of the faculty for advisorsthe St. orSebastian’s senior editors community, of The Walrus as well or ofas St.to Sebastian’s provide anSchool. open forum for stu- dents to offer opinions Correspondenceon issues related to Theto Walrusworld, shouldnational, be addressedand school to Theaffairs. Walrus, The c/o opinions St. Sebas expressed- herein do not necessarily reflecttian’s School, opinions 1191 Greendaleof the faculty Avenue, advisors Needham, or senior MA, 02492. editors Senior of TheEditors Walrus and production or of St. Sebastian’s School. Correspondencestaff reserve to Thethe Walrusright to shouldreject, beedit, addressed or admit toany The or Walrus,all submissions. c/o St. Sebastian’s To submit School,an article, 1191 Greendale Av- enue, Needham, MA,visit 02492. the Walrus Senior page, Editors found and on production the student staff portal reserve of our the beautiful right to school reject, website.edit, or admit any or all submissions. To submit an article, visit the Walrus page, found on the student portal of our beautiful school website. POINT / COUNTERPOINT May 2016 THE WALRUS Page 3 Beyonce Drake

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By Patrick Dufour ‘18 and Ryan By Sam Gordon’17 Curran ‘18 HEAD WRITER during Jay-Z’s affair with Rachel Roy (not to be confused with Rachael Ray, “Oh man, oh man, not Drake, on the other hand, is getting for cannot even keep up with Drake. Beyonce Knowles Carter who recently received an obscene again, not again,” our friend more and more popular as time goes This is like when an average student has always been in a league of her amount of hate mail and death threats Aubrey Graham aka “Drake” on. He is in his prime, and is still gets the best score he has ever gotten own. In Destiny’s Child, Kelly and from Beyonce’s fanbase.) She also so eloquently states in “Back pumping out his best music. Although on a test, and the smartest kid in the Michelle were really no match for explored themes that revolved around to Back.” Once again Drake is Beyonce is a successful artist, Drake’s class still beats him handily. Yes, I her. The group broke up and Ms. the modern black woman. The album being challenged. First Meek surge the last decade has put him know this is frustrating we have all Carter grew into the third most fa- reached one climax of many during Mill, now Beyonce: it’s time that above Beyonce. Drake is a perfect been there, but we simply cannot mous person currently alive, right 'Hold Up', in which Beyonce struts Drake finally cements himself four for four in the category of albums keep up with the smartest kid in class. behind President Barack Obama through the streets of New Orleans and as the best artist in music. Meek that have gone platinum. Drake’s most This is how Beyonce feels, for Drake and future President Michelle smashes everything with a baseball Mill tried but failed miserably. recent album went platinum within six crushed one of her best albums she Obama. Drake is #51 on that list. bat. This video caused Fox News’s Meek Mill was simply a warm days of being released. has ever written in only a week. He When it comes to fame, Beyonce is “Fox and Friends” to talk about up for Drake, and now the real The other aspect Drake beats currently sits at number one of the the clear winner. Beyonce for 30 minutes, calling her battle begins. Beyonce in is sports. Drake is a Billboard Top 100 Albums and that Next on the universal an “urban terrorist” and a “bad influ- First of all, it is important to well known sports enthusiast, and is will stay the same for the foreseeable checklist for good people is money. ence on black youth.” In general, establish who Beyonce is before always a prominent member at any big future. Once again you may be able to Beyonce is worth about 450 mil- Beyonce’s experience of an album we move forward. Beyonce is sporting event. While Drake may be reference back to when Beyonce was lion dollars. Drake is worth only caused people to talk. Drake’s album a pop artist. Her music is quite accused of being a fair weather fan, the biggest name in music, but today is 100 million. With that money, caused people to stop listening to different and therefore hard to he really is just demonstrating how not that day. No, today is Drake’s day. Drake couldn’t even buy a jumbo Drake. Also, if we’re talking numbers, compare artists from varying much he loves sports. Beyonce’s only Drake is on the rise, as he has been for jet and refurbish it to be a sky Beyonce has by far sold more records genres; however, we are going association with sports is the Super the last decade, and it doesn’t look like palace like Beyonce did. The win- than Drake. to try anyway. Beyonce started Bowl halftime show, and to be quite he has even reached his potential. Be- ner in wealth? Beyonce Knowles Next is the X factor, the her career as the lead singer honest the halftime show is usually yonce has most definitely reached her Carter. intangibles. That which cannot be de- of Destiny’s Child, which was terrible. The biggest tradition on Super potential, which is only going down Next is music. It’s es- scribed. Beyonce has reached a level a very successful band. Post- Bowl Sunday isn’t Buffalo wings, but from here. Drake is practicing with the pecially easy to compare Beyonce of universal recognition that few have Destiny’s Child, Beyonce has rather it is the Super Bowl halftime Kentucky basketball team, coaching and Drake’s music because they ever reached. She has made herself released five albums of her own, show disappointing. Beyonce has been the NBA celebrity all star game, and both released albums within the into a brand and an American staple. of which four have been certified involved in multiple disappointments hosting SNL. Beyonce currently is not past couple of weeks. Beyonce She has made herself so exclusive that RIAA Platinum. It is safe to say on the biggest stage, and more are to able to match the amount of atten- released 'Lemonade', which won some are willing to pay 10,000 dollars that Beyonce is an accomplished come and Drake has been killing the tion that Drake has been getting, and over film lovers, music lovers, and for floor seats to her Formation World artist. However, while Beyonce music industry ever since he started. that is mainly due to his talent. He is poetry lovers. The album even Tour. And her fans love her in spite of may have dominated the past in His last three albums have all been receiving all of this talent because of cured flaming racists and depressed her minimal contact with press and her the music industry, the present best sellers, and his talent is only his talent. people. Meantime, Drake released tendency to go years between album is all about Drake. Beyonce is getting more polished. In fact the first Overall, Drake trumps Beyonce 'Views from the 6', which, accord- releases. She didn’t publicize 'Lem- out of her prime, and even true week of Drake’s new album Views had mainly because of the stages of careers ing to Billboard, is doing well with onade' in any way, but it’s speculated Beyonce fans should agree. She more views than Beyonce’s Lemon- that they are each at. Beyonce is fall- “country-club kids” and “people to sell over 1 million copies over two is not putting out music that ade had in two weeks. The album that ing, while Drake is seated comfortably who just knocked off someone”. weeks, something few can achieve in surpasses her previous works. Beyonce is being so heavily praised at the top. Beyonce’s visual expose’ captured this age of music streaming. the mental anguish that the queen So it’s decided: Beyonce is of modern culture went through far more fantastic than Drake. Malia Obama Takes Gap Year Before Harvard Celtics Offseason Needs: Free Agents, By Sam Cullen ‘17 edge outside of the classroom. When it comes to spending a gap year, the Boston is set to receive a new possibilities are limitless. Whether celebrity in less than two years, as Trades, or Draft Picks? it’s travelling abroad, interning, the White House has confirmed that volunteering or for some incredibly Thomas in crunch time. Butler’s abil- success in the draft lottery is plan B. First Daughter Malia Obama will be motivated students, starting a business, By Drew Dorsey ‘19 ity to create his own shot is some- While the Celtics history in the lottery attending Harvard in the fall of 2017, gap­years provide freedom and possi- thing the Celtics sorely lack. Unlike is as spotty as WiFi access on this after a gap year. Of course, Malia’s Another Celtics season has come to an bility without the career uncertainties the vertically challenged Thomas, campus, they do have a great chance choice of Harvard is hardly shocking, end, this time in six games to the Atlanta and insecurities as college graduates the 6’7” Butler can not only get in to land one of the top 3 picks. Sadly, as the nation’s foremost university. Hawks. The season saw the C’s improve face. Taking a gap year is a way for the paint, but has the size to finish most view this draft as a two horse While this famous personality in our on their win total from last year, post- students to transition from high school among the trees. The price to land race. metro area will no doubt add another ing an impressive 48 wins in the Eastern to college life, and to become inde- Butler would be high and would start LSU’s Ben Simmons has the kind of interesting characteristic to this city, Conference. Brad Stevens picked up his pendent before the academic hustle with the Brooklyn pick and almost ability that makes scouts drool like it with “Obama sightings”, it is Malia’s first playoff wins, but it was their four of university begins. Of course, this certainly include a valuable roster is chicken patty day at Seb’s. If there’s decision to take a gap year which playoff losses that made it perfectly clear demonstrates why Malia Obama most player like 2nd year man Marcus a hole in Simmons’ game it is his has inspired more conversation in the that the Celtics need more offensive likely chose a gap year, as something Smart or gritty forward Jae Crowder. questionable shooting touch and the media and educational authorities. talent. tells me that the transition from the If the deals were to end with some- Celtics don’t need another brick layer As St. Sebastian’s students will all Armed with a ridiculous eight draft picks White House to a dormitory is not an one like Butler that price might be on Causeway street. eventually end up attending college, in the top 60 and ample salary cap space, easy one. Still, gap years are obvi- too steep, but the feeling is that once If Simmons’ lack of shooting the added dimension of a gap year is the Celtics are positioned to have a mon- ously not for everyone. Although you land a player of Butler’s caliber and his inability to lead LSU into the something for students here at school strous off-season and finally deliver the hardly a factor for St. Sebastian’s it ill make you more attractive to the tournament scares you, then Duke’s to consider. kind of fireworks owner Wyc Grousbeck students, only about 90% of gap year premier free agents. In the summer Brandon Ingram is probably more Although gap years are nothing new, promised. The crown jewel of these draft students actually enroll in college. of 2016, that means Kevin Durant. to your liking. Ingram has the more originating as a time for students to picks is the “Brooklyn pick” that Boston However, gap years enable students Celtics GM Danny Ainge is on record polished offensive game, evidenced earn money towards tuition, their netted in the trades that sent Paul Pierce to explore their interests and grow as saying there is a plan A-Z and, by his 41% shooting from beyond prevalence has spiked in the US and Kevin Garnett packing. Thanks to beyond their high school experiences make no mistake about it, plan A is the arc. The knock on the 6’9” Ingram recently. With their college seat Brooklyn’s awful record this year, the before college. The greatest part about Kevin Durant. If the Celtics could land is his lean frame. At just 190 pounds, guaranteed, nowadays collegebound­ Celtics will have no worse than the 6th this future decision, which all St. Se- Durant and his 28 points per game, Ingram might not be ready to handle students across the country have cho- pick in the draft and a 46.9% chance of bastian’s students will be faced with, the Celtics are instant challengers to the rigors of the NBA game. Of sen to take gap years to pursue their being in the top 3. Boston has two other is that there is very rarely a wrong LeBron James and the Cavaliers in course, that is nothing that a few doz- interests, travel abroad, or volunteer. first round picks, the 16th from Dallas answer. Most every St. Sebastian’s the East. While it is fun to daydream en of those aforementioned chicken In fact, the popularity of gap years and their own pick at # 23. student will find themselves ready to about Durant coming to Boston, patties and some churros couldn’t fix. has become such a college trend that If this were football, those first round take on the world outside these walls, the chances seem small. NBA free If given the choice, this writer would most Ivy Leagues actually encour- picks would be gold. But in the NBA, not with the decision between a gap year even the first overall pick is a sure thing. agents have a long history of valuing pick Ingram over Simmons. age gap years as a method of outside and immediate enrollment actually weather (Miami, Phoenix) and big NOTE: As it turns out, however, the learning. For example, Yale has built This uncertainty coupled with the C’s being the student’s first real choice glaring need for a go-to scorer has many media markets (LA, NY) over tradi- Celtics will pick third in June's draft gap year programs into their curricu- from total independence and self­ tion and a strong coach. There are now that the ping-pong balls have lum for students who desire it. thinking that the best course of action accountability. And if you do decide is for the Celtics to make a major trade some indications that Durant might --as of last night -- done their duty. Most gap year students don’t use to remain in Boston beyond gradu- be an exception to that rule and if he The Celtics will miss out on the top their free time to relax or slack off for an established star. One such player ation, whether in a gap year or in is the Bulls’ Jimmy Butler. The 5th year chooses Boston, he becomes the best two talents noted above, but will cer- after high school, but colleges hope university, just keep yours eyes out in free agent they have ever signed. tainly pick up a talented player ready (and will actually provide funding swingman out of Marquette would give 2017 for Boston’s newest and already the Celtics another option besides Isaiah If Butler and Durant are plan A, to fit into Brad Stevens' system. and support for) students explore welcomed celebrity resident, Malia their interest and expand their knowl- Obama. Celebrity Look-Alike

Cam Cain Reggie McKenzie ARROWS Sports Vol LXIX No. 7 St. Sebastian’s School May 2016 JV Lacrosse: The Greatest Show on Turf Ultimate Frisbee Update By Owen Finnegan ‘16 their McDonald’s meals, and drove By Thomas Wasynczuk ‘17 out into Western Massachusetts, the every undefeated JV Lacrosse team is to properly grip a golf club during Editor Emeritus undiscovered country from whose

an intermediate goalie”. warm-ups. The player-coach mutual bourn no traveler returns (except for In the past St. Seb’s has I believe it was William Many attribute the team’s respect has brought this lacrosse pro- the Ryan family). The boys arrived at been known as a lacrosse power- Shakespeare who once wrote “Be success to the determined coach- gram to new heights and they won’t the middle school football field just house in the ISL and this year is not afraid of greatness: some are ing staff. The newest addition to the stop anytime soon. as the sun was setting and the lights no different. I am referring to the born great, some achieve greatness coaching “dream team” won the Team leaders play a large were flickering on. Billerica was tall, currently 10-0, soon to be 12-0 JV and some have greatness thrust upon Bob Scott Award his senior year part in the whole team’s success, but mean, and had just dominated the Lacrosse team (or Varsity B as they them.” No quote can more accurately at St. Sebastian’s (2013). Tommy the quality of leadership is determined Division III tournament one week call it). With a coaching staff like describe the St. Sebastian’s Ultimate McCabe ’13 continues his amazing by the caliber of people who chose to prior, going undefeated in said tour- Frisbee team, who throughout the no other, a team chemistry up to par nament. Elite coin flipper John Nilles lacrosse career by being one of the follow. This speaks to all of the play- course of the 2016 Spring season have with the Belichick-Brady duo, and won the coin toss to begin the game, only coaches in St. Sebastian’s sports ers’ outstanding potential and attitude. certainly achieved greatness, having a sturdy maternal figure like Cole and from that point on it was game history to have never lost a game. John Piatelli ’17 has possibly said, battled their way to a 7-6 record at the Jarczyk ‘17, this team is possibly the over. The boys hopped out to a quick Right now he is waiting to hear back “[Playing varsity is the biggest mis- time of the composition of this article. most dynamic squad Seb’s has ever halftime lead of 8-2 on the back of from U.S.A. Lacrosse concerning take I’ve ever made. I wish I could be The ultimate team is certainly a hidden seen. Patrick Peters’ six touchdown catch- his Coach of the Year nomination. on that JV team instead.]” With a star- gem of St. Sebastian’s: every year, se- It all starts with the attitude es and some stellar defensive play I have seen him speak with players studded squad including players like: niors who didn’t make varsity lacrosse these players and coaches bring with from everyone involved. During the one-on-one before and after games Thad “oh no” Kennedy ‘17, Kevin “I or are looking for a hobby to fill the them to the field and to life in gen- halftime break, cheers from Joseph and practices about areas of personal have a record” Moore ‘17, 12 ‘?, and void left after the completion of AP eral. They live by the words: “player Ryan and Heather Finnegan could be improvement. Mr. Burke always James David “JD” Dietrich ‘17, a spot classes join the team, most of whom development is in your own hands”. heard by all, however, the Billerica says, “Once in never out, Arrows on Sebs’ JV Lax roster is probably have never played ultimate before in Starting attackmen Blake Hailer Indians rallied and cut the lead to forever”, and Coach McCabe truly more coveted than most other school’s their lives. That being said, the 2016 ’17 and Jimmy Orscheln ’17 have just 9-6 Sebs. Some sketchy looking embodies this through dedication to Varsity roster. The team’s brotherhood team has several notable underclass- Billerica students were throwing been known to shout these words to men, including eighth grader Marty his fellow arrows. He also brings the brings a new intensity that their op- ruthless chirps at Marty Morris in classmates in need of encouragement Morris, sophomores Reuben Shapiro same happy attitude to the field every ponents lack, and that is why they will regards to his demeanor, and some on the field and in the classroom. and Orvin Pierre, and juniors Andrew day. Another Seb’s alum, Coach never lose a game. players were throwing some ruthless When asked who epitomizes these Elcock and Thomas Wasynczuk. Inex- Diggs, has also participated in this While many call this team chirps at John Nilles in regards to words, and who the real leader of the perience is certainly a hurdle that must flawless season. The work ethic he great because of Cole, coaches, or his hair color. Nilles responding team is, Blake responded, “Cole. It’s be overcome, as the team often faces calls for pushes players to their limits chemistry, I believe this team is great by swatting away two Billerica objectively Cole. No one will ever squads that actually know the rules of in order to maintain a varsity level not only because of their Varsity level touchdowns, and Morris responded debate that.” Cole Jarczyk ’17 is ap- ultimate, and call fouls such as “trav- physique. Sr. Digan continues the ability and dedication, but also their by a ridiculous layout defense that parently such a strong leader that the els” and “being out of bounds.” No Alumni coaching trend and brings a enjoyment and fun-loving mentality sent the disc spiraling into the loud- coaches look up to him, even aspiring team flashed their knowledge of ulti- fiery passion to the field. His ability that comes with playing JV. With a mouthed spectators. Morris stood mate more than Medway High School, to be like him. When asked who up, wiped the dirt off his jersey, and to motivate the players is unparal- score differential of +70 and 3 games who recalled several Sebs touchdowns would lead the team without their politely told the spectators “I’m leled, and his high spirits reflect onto to go, it’s impressive that they never due to phantom travels and other bi- valuable goalie, Hailer responded, in eighth grade.” Why some high the team. These coaches are effective let up on opponents. They are relent- zarre calls. Being a self-refereed sport, “Not a single player could replace schoolers would bother messing with because they are role models, friends, less. Player development is in their teams that call unnecessary fouls can our esteemed leader, so we wouldn’t a kid who still takes science classes and motivators. Jimmy Orscheln ex- hands, and they have certainly pro- often get under the opposing team’s’ have one. We would play the game that are called “science” is beyond plains, “It’s a give and take between gressed as players through the season skin, as evidenced by Ryan Parker without a goalie out of sheer respect me, but nevertheless, the high players and coaches, we also coach because of this mentality. loudly proclaiming “Wanna fight?” to for Cole.” I guess the ancient Chinese hustle plays were all that the Arrows them”. This is evident when you see the Medway captain after a question- proverb still rings true: “Behind needed to roll to a 15-7 victory. The Bryan Doe ‘17 show Mr. Diggs how able contact foul. night game proved to be a bona-fide The aforementioned inexpe- turning point for the ultimate team’s rience and nerves resulted in a slow season, as they have since topped start for the St. Sebs squad. After the Needham 15-2 and Belmont High first four games of the season, the team School 15-3. After a tough first found themselves in a 1-3 hole, and couple of weeks of practice, the boys many were questioning if we had the have really started to cook, and look intangibles necessary to thrive in the to close out the season in style. dog eat dog world of Division II high For more information on school ultimate frisbee. We found our the ultimate frisbee team, follow @ only win against staunch ISL rival sebs_ultimate or come see one of our Nobles, a heroic game where captain upcoming home games on Monday, and MVP Owen Finnegan drove four May 16th or Monday, May 23rd. hours straight from Vermont to make Beyond that, the Division II states the game on time. As the season has tournament is on June 4th, and the progressed, however, the team has team is hoping to match the impres- gained chemistry and experience in sive 9th place finish from last year. the ways of the disc. After a convinc- Being a fairly unknown sport and ing win against a weak Brookline team, we appreciate all the support High team, the squad set their sights the Sebs student body has shown the 'They hate you because they ain’t you.' You are therefore obliged to live under no moral code. to the much-awaited pinnacle of their team, and we hope anyone interested season: a Friday night under the lights will come out and join the team next game against none other than Billerica year. Until next time, this is team High School. At 6:00 PM, the boys Captain Owen Finnegan signing out. Latest on Deflategate Appeal packed into a minibus, unwrapped Roll Sebs! By Joe Maalouf ‘19 the Patriot’s footballs were re-inflated the control of the referees. Those at halftime to meet specifications. footballs were used by both teams, so What we now know Wilson Sporting Goods, the company the Raven’s claim doesn’t make sense. as Deflategate is the contro- that produces footballs for the NFL, Other sports watch out, as versy concerning whether or also sends eight new balls directly to some NBA players have already come not the New England Patriots officials for each game. Those balls forward and admitted to deflating intentionally underinflated are under the control of referees and basketballs. There are even reports footballs used at the American are used for kicks by both teams. So of NBA players overinflating balls to Football Conference (AFC) this raises a question: even though attain a higher dribble and longer Championship game against footballs are inspected before the rebounds. the Indianapolis Colts at Gil- game, why doesn’t the NFL provide On May 11th, 2015 the NFL lette Stadium on January 18th, all the footballs? announced that Tom Brady would 2015. The Patriots won that While we’re at it, let’s not be given a four game suspension game with a 45-7 slaughter of forget to mention Spygate, when on for his supposed “awareness” about the Colts. an extension to appeal that decision, have, only being a freshman here at September 9th, 2007 the Patriots the deflated balls. The NFL Players NFL operations and the NFLPA added Ted Olson to St. Sebastian’s. There is no ques- videotaped the New York Jets’ signals Association (NFLPA) appealed the clearly outlines that each team his legal team. Ted Olson was the tion concerning the need for a “level to gain an advantage. Videotaping suspension, and rather than having a is allowed to bring twenty- 42nd Solicitor General of the United playing field” and a fair game. If an opponent’s team’s coaches is only neutral arbitrator, it was announced four footballs for offense, States from 2001-2004, and the United feasible, moving forward the NFL allowed from designated areas, but the that Roger Goodell, Commissioner of twelve primary and twelve States Assistant Attorney General should certainly provide and more Patriots did it from their own sideline. the NFL, would preside over Brady’s more for backup, and those for the Office of Legal Counsel from tightly monitor all footballs for all Coach Bill Belichick and the Patriots appeal. Goodell upheld the suspen- 1981-1984. He has argued in front balls are inspected by officials games. The cost and time spent would were both fined, and they lost their sion. Following this, on September of the Supreme Court, including the before each game. League be negligible compared to the current first round draft pick. 3rd, 2015, Judge Richard M. Berman case between George W. Bush and Al rules require that balls have situation. There are far more serious Once a witch hunt starts, overturned the suspension due to a Gore concerning the 2000 Presidential a pressure between 12.5 and issues that require this kind of atten- it’s very hard to stop it. The Boston number of legal deficiencies. After election. Olson was also considered 13.5 pounds per square inch tion. Bottom line, let Tom Brady play. Globe reported on January 21st, 2015 only hours had passed, the NFL an- as a potential nominee to the Supreme (psi), and eleven out of twelve We watch football to enjoy the game, that some Baltimore Ravens players nounced that it would appeal Judge Court to fill Sandra Day O’Connor’s footballs that the Patriots used and fans suffering through all of this is claim that footballs used for kicking Berman’s decision. On April 25th, vacancy. Are things getting a little out were reported as deflated. A certainly not enjoyment. Let the man during their 35-31 loss to the Patri- 2016 a three judge panel, with a two to of hand? later report stated that only play, let’s enjoy the game, and let’s ots on January 10th, 2015 at Gillette one decision, reinstated Brady’s four Researching the facts and one of the twelve footballs move on. Stadium were deflated. As mentioned game suspension. This is not over yet. delving deeper into this man made was underinflated. In addi- earlier, balls used for kicking are under On May 3rd, 2016 Brady was granted morass, I quickly found myself in tion, another report states that need of a law degree, which I don’t Varsity Golf: Baseball: Results Win vs. Lawrence vs. Worcester W 12-5 Win vs. St. George’s Lacrosse: Win vs. Milton vs. Rivers W 4-3 @ Rivers L 4-5 Tennis: @ Tabor W 13-6 vs. Milton W 11-3 @ Middlesex W 15-0 @ Milton L 3-4 @ Govs L 10-12 @ Worcester W 7-0 vs. Govs L 0-5 vs. Govs W 15-0