School of Cards: Student Council Election 2016 Results Show
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The WALRUS The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. - Lewis Carroll 2 Vol. LXIX No. 7 St. Sebastian’s School May 2016 School of Cards: Student Council Election 2016 Results Show Changing of Guard We sat down with Joe for a ning on bringing in some more bas- By Chris Vallace ‘17 little Q & A to get some insight on his ketball and floor hockey tournaments cabinet and his plans for the future: to supplement March SADDness. HEAD WRITER Q: First off, congratulations. Is there Additionally, we are working on the anyone you would like to thank? menu with Chef Mike, allocating Ladies, gentlemen, Trevor A: Yeah, I’d like to thank really the the budget a little differently, maybe Yandow, I present to you the 2016- whole student body. I mean they came bringing back some old favorites, and 2017 Student Body President, Joe out and they voted and really showed getting rid of others. O’Malley. up. Q: Can you give any specifics? Many of you outside the Q: How is your cabinet looking? A: All I can say right now is we will Junior class may not know Joe A: Well, at Secretary of State, we have definitely be switching to pizza every Frank Underwood or Joe O’Malley? You decide. O’Malley outside of his eccentric Evan “Sunshine” Reddick, who really other friday, so we will be having and unpredictable speeches. Sadly, brings a lot of energy to the meetings. pizza one week, then the next week Joe will not be frequenting the That being said, he also brings a lot we will be having chicken patties, or The Rise of the Planet of podium as often as his predeces- of disorganization. (Upon hearing some other crowd pleaser. sors due to a lapsus lingua--an this comment, Reddick responded, Q: Any other big things on the unfortunate slip of the tongue, one “If Donald Trump were politically agenda? the New Editors might say. As a result, I hope to correct, nothing would be done.” We A: We are looking into changing up take you behind the scenes and are not quite sure why he said this, as the rules with the wifi. It is a long and By Your New Editors and Andrew gets it done. He can always into the life of the young man who it is completely unrelated, but we like arduous process, however, and will Jake O’Neil '17 guess how many jellybeans are in a has won the hearts of many, while where his head’s at.) take some time, so be patient there, It’s 2016, the year of the jellybean jar, even if he’s wrong. He’s also alienating many others; he is a Q: And what about Vice President, we are trying to make it happen. fire monkey, and the Walrus has sometimes the friendliest guy in the polarizing guy. He takes risks. Like Thaddeus Kennedy? Q: Fantastic, we are looking forward got four new editors ready to create room, and you can be sure that when- in his favorite sport, baseball, he A: He is adamantly pursuing the resti- to the rest of your term. Any other the greatest newspapers that you ever there is a pants-party, he’ll make swings for the fences every time, tution of the suggestion box. things you would like to say? have ever laid eyes on. Ideas like sure to invite you. A little known fact and when he makes contact, it is a Q: Girls on campus, too? A: I’d just like to thank everyone “Online Version” and “Live Walrus about him is that he once stabbed a guaranteed home run, but when he A: Not yet. (When asked about the again, and I’m happy to be here. Mascot” are already flying around seventh grader with a trident. He may misses, he misses big. However, subject, Thad responded, “No com- There we go. A little taste the editorial room. Now, we would love carpet, he may love lamp, but Joe’s baseball career has been put ment.”) of Mr. President, Joe O’Malley, but be remiss in not thanking the 2015 most of all he loves you, St. Sebas- on hold due to a series of nagging Q: Speaking of suggestions, what is it is not the whole pie. If you wish to editors for a job well done, and we tian’s community. shoulder injuries. Outside of the in the works at the moment? Any big learn more, feel free to approach him know that we have some big shoes diamond, Joe is actually a very tal- plans or changes to look forward to? in the halls and start a conversation to fill. We’re ready to prove to you 3. Michael Hartman (a.k.a. ented musician. He plays the piano A: Oh yeah, big time. We got Red and together...and get to know the newest that we’re up to the task, and we Champ Kind): Michael Hartman is and has dabbled in the trumpet. Black Day coming up, and are plan- face of the Sebs' student council. will do everything we can to im- known, above all, for his wild streak: prove this newspaper. Things have he can be found often dancing on been going groovily, and we’ll try tables at lunch, going wild at the 70s to make a smooth transition. And dance, or starting a fire in the chem so, without further ado, it’s about labs. His trademark catchphrase, time that you got to know your an- “Sebbos,” is often heard echoing Seb’s Says Goodbye to chormen, the new Walrus editors. throughout the halls of St. Sebastian’s. His favorite meal at lunch is ‘chicken 1. Jackson McKeigue (a.k.a. patty of the cave’. During sports, he Beloved Faculty Members often threatens to take opposing play- Ron Burgundy): The levelheaded been part of the Seb’s community for teacher) will also be retiring this year. leader of the four, Jackson comes ers’ relations out for a nice, seafood By Marty White ‘18 twenty-three years as an organizational Mr. Kittler has been here for a long to the Walrus equipped with all dinner and then never call them again. specialist, will retire to Mashpee at Each year, students antici- time, teaching chemistry to sopho- the necessary skills of an editor. the end of the year. She says that it is pate the end of the school year. What mores and the basics of physics and He’s got the hair, he rarely makes 4. Jake O’Neil (a.k.a. Brian “time for her to retire and enjoy life we often forget is that the end of chemistry to eighth graders. Mr. Kit- foolish choices (aside from the one Fantana): 60% of the time, Jake works with my husband,” and that she has the school year isn’t just a time for tler is sad about leaving and will “miss time he grabbed milk at lunch), every time. He is, of course, the styl- “enjoyed working here with such great excitement; it’s also a time for good- the people,” but he is excited to visit and you know that he always stays ish one of the group--his tasteful pink young men” and “will miss everyone byes. Not only are the graduating stu- his family in the Northwest. One of his classy. He knows how to follow shirt can often be seen from miles like crazy.” She has been helpful to dents departing, but also some of our favorite things about teaching was the orders, that is to say that he reads away. He is quite successful with the many people over the years, whether it beloved teachers. Each of the teach- student-teacher interaction. “Teaching whatever the teleprompter says ladies, or so he tells us, and he attri- be through her organizational strategy ers leaving this year - Mr. Williams, young people has kept me young all during student announcements, but butes his success to his illegal cologne classes in seventh grade or her helpful Mr. Kittler, Mrs. Maloney, Mr. Foley, these years,” says Kittler. Mr. Kittler, he also knows how to give orders. made from actual walruses. Most say meetings after school. For her many and Mr. Drummond - deserve one you will be missed. Thanks for being a Most importantly, he’s Jackson he smells like the inside of a varsity years of service, she deserves our grati- last thanks for all their contributions great teacher and good luck. McKeigue? locker room, but he maintains that he to the school. For years, they’ve all Mr. Foley, another graduate tude and apprecation. is cloaked in the scent of desire. Re- Finally, Mr. Drummond is bestowed their valuable knowledge who returned to teach, is also leaving 2. Andrew Elcock (a.k.a. gardless, he certainly would be the life also departing at the end of the year. to us and helped us grow as scholars. this year in order to go to law school. Brick Tamland): Although he’s of the party, if the Walrus editors ever Mr. Drummond, a beloved English Now, it’s our turn to acknowledge Mr. Foley, who graduated in 2009, not the sharpest tool in the shed, got invited to any. them for everything they’ve done. came back a few years later in order teacher and advisor to the Walrus, will Mr. Williams has been a to teach religion. He quickly became be leaving (literally) big shoes to fill.