“I Am Adopted” – Ephesians 5:1-21

The Passage: Ephesians 5:1-21 1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. 5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not become partners with them; 8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. 13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14 for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, ‘Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’ 15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

The Plan: As always… • Open with prayer. • Introduce your group to the Scripture passages. • Walk your group through the discussion questions. • Share thoughts on applying the truths learned. • Summarize using the “Ponder and Practice” section and finish in prayer.

Discussion: 1. Share with the group any insight, truth, or observation from Sunday’s message that helped you, troubled you, or ministered to you. 2. Think about what it means to be a child of ______(whoever raised you as a parent). How has your experience helped or hindered your understanding of what it means to be a child of God? Consider these verses: Hebrews 12:10, Matthew 7:11 and Luke 11:13 3. Have you been adopted or adopted a child? Share this experience with your group. See if you can make some correlations between your adoption experience and our spiritual adoption. 4. According to this passage, what does a child of God look like? Discuss not only the “don’ts” in this passage, but discuss their opposites. Think about the basis for these commands: your relationship with God. How DO we obey these commands? If you need help, look back at Ephesians 4:17-24. Why is your adoption so significant to your obedience? 5. Are your brothers, sisters, moms, and dads in Christ as real to you as your earthly siblings and parents? Describe what you think a godly family might look like – use the Scriptures. How is your community demonstrating family to one another? 6. Think about these 4 privileges of a child of God: acceptance, access, protection, and inheritance. What do these mean for you? Are you experiencing these by faith, or would you say you are living more like an orphan? What would need to change? How can you teach those in your family to avail themselves of these privileges?

The Prep: WHAT IS SPIRITUAL ADOPTION? Our English word adoption is filled with the ideas of love, grace, compassion and intimate relationship. In the ancient world the adopted person lost all rights in his old family, gained all the rights of a fully legitimate son in his new family and "In the most literal sense, and in the most binding legal way, he got a new father (cf 1Jn 3:1-note)." (Barclay). In addition, all his debts were legally canceled (cf Col 2:14-note), his

1 old life was completely erased and he was regarded by the law as a new person (cf 2Cor 5:17-note). Similarly, in spiritual adoption, the moment undeserving sinners are adopted by their heavenly Father as His sons, their entire status is eternally changed -- they receive a new name, a new family, new rights, new expectations, but unlike human adoption they also receive a new nature, actually becoming "partakers of the divine nature!" (2Pe 1:4-note) Indeed, it is probably not an overstatement to regard spiritual adoption as the greatest benefit of "the Gospel of our salvation." (Eph 1:13-note) John Piper agrees remarking that "Adoption is one of the most profound realities in the universe. I say “universe” and not “world” because adoption goes beyond the world. It is greater than the world and it is before the world in the plan of God (Eph 1:4-note "before the foundation of the world"), and it will outlast the world as we know it. Indeed it is greater than the “universe” and is rooted in God’s own nature." The Greek word for adoption is Huiothesia which literally means the "placing of a son" which in turn came to mean placing a son into a family that was not one's biologic family. While there were allusions to adoption in the OT (cf Mephibosheth crippled by a fall [does that sound familiar?], "adopted" by a King, invited to dine in the intimacy of the king's table all the days of his life [cf Rev 3:20-note] and graciously given an undeserved inheritance! [Do any of these "benefits" sound familiar?] 2Sa 9:1-13-note), the scope of divine adoption was not fully revealed until the NT in the writings of Paul who used huiothesia 5x (Ro 8:15, 23, Ro 9:4-note, Gal 4:5-note, Ep 1:5) to describe our spiritual adoption, which is the PAST, PRESENT and PROSPECTIVE (future) possession and privilege of every believer!

While adoption is not the way we get into God's family, it is the way we come to fully enjoy God's family. "Adoption gives us the rights of children. Regeneration gives us the nature of children: we are partakers of both of these, for we are sons." (Spurgeon) In other words, we get into God's family by regeneration (being "born again" = the new birth) when we are "born of the Spirit" (Jn 3:7-9-note), for "as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children (literally "born ones") of God, even to those who believe in His name." (Jn 1:12-note) In regeneration the Spirit makes us children of God, while in adoption He gives us the position, privilege and responsibilities of the "sons of God." God could have regenerated us (a new life), but, praise His Holy Name, He also graced us with adoption as His sons. As Wayne Grudem says "When we begin to realize the excellence of these blessings (as adopted sons of God), and when we appreciate that God has no obligation to give us any of them, then we will be able to exclaim with the apostle John, “How great is the love the Father has lavished (bestowed profusely) on us, that we should be called children of God. And that is what we are!” (1Jn 3:1NIV-note) Indeed, "How Great Thou Art!" (From Precept Austin - http://preceptaustin.org/adoption.htm )

Sexual Immorality: (Gr. porneía) To commit fornication or any sexual sin. Impurity: (Gr. akatharsía) Uncleanness or filth in a natural or physical sense. Moral uncleanness, lewdness, incontinence in general; any unnatural pollution, whether acted out by oneself or with another. The best opposite for both is to be holy (Gr. hágios). Holiness is being set apart or consecrated. It has as its root “hág” – chaste or pure. Its fundamental idea is separation, or devotion to the service of God, abstaining from the world’s defilement. It means to be morally pure, upright, blameless in heart and life, virtuous.

Covetousness: (Gr. pleonexía) Covetousness, greediness. A larger term that includes love of money, avarice, or hording. It’s connected with extortion. “The longing of the creature which has forsaken God to fill itself with the lower objects of nature.” It’s opposite is contentment (Gr. autárkeia). A satisfied mind or disposition; contentment with the necessities of life.

Filthiness: (Gr. aischrótēs) Impropriety, improper conduct whether in action or word or even thought and intent; indecorum of any kind; conduct which when exposed by the light makes the person ashamed of himself; ugly, shameful conduct of any kind; conduct which is contrary to a person who follows after God. “Attachment and conformity to God requires a conduct of which God is not ashamed and which could not bring shame to the person when it is brought to light.” It’s opposite may be moral excellence (Gr. arête). Being pleasing to God; denotes in a moral sense what gives man his worth, his efficiency – which is God’s goodness and perfection, not his own. Virtue, moral excellence, perfection, goodness of action.

Foolish Talk: (Gr. mōrología) The type of speech that betrays a person as foolish. Talk that is weightless, frivolous, empty, forgettable. Crude joking: (Gr. eutrapelía) “Facetiousness, course wittiness, ribaldry. The turning of one’s speech for the purpose of exciting mirth or laughter. Since, however, such persons can easily manipulate circumstances, they are apt to deteriorate into mischief-makers and clowns. Therefore, eutrápelos (n.f.), a witty person, is sometimes used in a bad sense meaning a scoffer, a sneerer, or a course joker to which Paul probably refers in Eph. 5:4.”

2 Empty: (kenos) Empty, hollow; unaccompanied with the demonstration of Spirit and of power. “When used not of things but of persons, it predicates not merely an absence of good, but also, since a vacuum does not exist in man’s moral nature, the presence of evil (James 2:20).”

The opposite of both of these is the biblical description of godly speech: Speak truth with your neighbor (Eph. 4:25) Bold to speak the word without fear (Php. 1:14) Speak to please God, not man (1 Th. 2:4) Not speaking evil of others, avoiding quarrels, gentle, showing courtesy (Titus 3:2) Quick to hear, slow to speak (James 1:19) Judicious and persuasive speech (Proverbs 16:23) Gracious speech (Prov. 22:11) Speech that demonstrates the Spirit and His power (1 Cor. 2:4) Truthful speech (2 Cor. 6:7) Gracious, seasoned with salt (Col. 4:6) Sound speech (Titus 2:8) Thankful speech (Eph. 5:4)

*All definitions from The Complete Word Study Dictionary, New Testament by Spiros Zodhiates

Ponder and Practice:

You see, adoption means not just the negative. So many people think of their salvation in terms of the negative. “I’ve been forgiven. My sins are wiped away. Jesus died for me, and his blood has washed away my sins.” That’s great. I’m not knocking any of that. It’s wonderful. It’s glorious! No hope without it, but adoption means not just that the past is wiped away, but you have all these tremendous privileges now as a child. What are the privileges? Let me list four as we finish up here. You can use these privileges as a test. These four privileges are a test to see whether or not you’re thinking of yourself as a son or a daughter of the King. The thing the Millers are always saying is, “Are you orphans or are you children?” “Yes,” you can say, “I accepted Christ. I signed a card. I went forward. I’m a card-carrying evangelical, born-again Christian.” They say, “That’s not what I’m asking you. I want to know are you living as an orphan or are you living as a son?” They’re always pressing that. Some of you heard them talk that way. Here’s how you find out. Biblically, what are the privileges of being a child of God, of being adopted in the family? The first privilege is acceptance. An employee can be fired; a kid can’t. You can fire your employee. You can’t fire a child. I mean it. One of the things about parental love is how dogged it is. We make all kinds of jokes about it. “He has a face only a mother can love.” We make jokes about that. Why? It’s true! Because, you see, parents find their hearts absolutely knit to their children no matter what jerks they are. The last people in the world to give up on somebody are their parents. Oh, not always, but you know this is a general rule. You know this is the way it goes. You understand that. There’s something tremendously dogged about parental love, so obviously that fact reflects the heavenly parental love. What does it mean to be a son of God? What does it mean to be a daughter of God? It means you’re accepted. It means you can’t be fired. It means there is no condemnation for you. Do you know what the test is? The test here is do you live in freedom or are you constantly up and down depending on whether you feel like you’ve lived up to standards? Are you being whipped about emotionally depending on, from day to day, whether you feel like a success or a failure? If you are, then you’re acting like an orphan. If you say, “Ah, I did it again. God’s probably given up on me. He’s ready to hit me,” and then another day you feel like, “Ah, now maybe God will answer my prayers because look at the way in which I’m living,” you’re living like an orphan. You don’t understand your son-ship. You can never imitate God as dearly loved children; you’re not thinking of yourself as a dearly loved child. You don’t have it. You’re not living out your adoption. The second privilege is access. Again, let’s think of the difference between an employee and a child. I’ve been contrasting an orphan and a child, but for a lot of you, your relationship with God is as an employee. I hope you’re honest about it. An employee can be fired; a child can’t. That’s acceptance. An employee’s access is restricted. You might have a very, very, very good relationship with your boss, but you’re not going to walk in on him at 2 a.m. and ask for a drink of water. Why not? You have restricted access. Your boss says, “Who do you think you are? We have a wonderful relationship, but I’m in my underwear.” You instinctively know you don’t have that kind of access, and a lot of you feel that way toward God, too. There was a man named Billy Bray who lived in the nineteenth century. He had been a real, “rock’em, sock’em,” fisticuff boxer.

3 He had been a tough guy, and he was converted, and he became an evangelist. He was one of those famous traveling evangelists in England. He had a great way of speaking. When somebody would talk to him about some problem, he would say, “I have to talk to Father about this,” and he was talking about God. Usually we talk about the Father, but he would say, “I have to talk to Father about this.” There are people I am around who I realize use prayer in a way that I don’t, who are sure of God’s interests in a way that I’m not. To the degree that you know that, to the degree that you’re a prayer warrior, to the degree that you’re constantly availing yourself of that access, to that degree you’re living as a dear child of God. The third privilege is protection. As many of you know, parents have a lot of trouble avoiding the protecting and guiding of their children. A lot of you know even though you’re adults, it’s very hard for your parents to keep their mitts off of you, because it is absolutely essential to being a parent that you want to protect your child, and to the end of your life, any parent who isn’t a terrible parent (there are plenty of terrible parents), but the average parent, even the mediocre parent, you’re so tied to your child that you can’t be happy unless your child is happy. You can’t be. You can’t bear to see your child suffer. You can’t stop worrying about them. You can’t get your mitts off of them, at least emotionally. God is the same way, and that means Romans 8:28: “… all things work together for good for them that love God …” That means Hebrews 12. Hebrews 12 says the troubles you’re going through are chastening. They are a discipline, because fathers discipline their children. Here is the test: if you really think your life is a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing, if you really feel your life has no rhyme or reason to it, if you really feel everything has gone wrong and God has forgotten you, you do not believe you’re a child. You’re not living like a child, because you’re living like an orphan, or you’re living like an employee who thinks he’s been fired. Parents cannot keep their mitts off their children. Parents cannot avoid protecting them. Parents cannot avoid guiding them. A real parent protects. If you look at life like a haunted house … “What’s going to get me next?” Or you say, “I know as hard as it is for me to understand, just as when I was a little child my parents did things I didn’t understand but I see in hindsight were good for me, I know the circumstances of my life are the arrangements of a loving, heavenly Father.” The way you can tell whether you’re living as an orphan or as a child is can you really trust right now in the middle of the all the things going on in your life that look like they have no rhyme or reason to them? Are you able to say, “All things are working together for good; I know this is there by God’s appointment and my Father has a purpose and reason for this. I know I’m here under his care for his time in his schedule by his appointment?” Do you have that attitude toward the circumstances of your life? If not, no wonder you’re so scared. You’re living like an orphan. The fourth privilege is inheritance. This world is going to be yours. If you feel like a poor person, or as Jack and Rosemary Miller say, if you live a life of unending obligation, always feeling so poor, always feeling so obligated to everybody, always feeling like, “I owe everybody so much and I’m just under this crushing load of debt and obligation,” you’re not living as a child. A child is an heir, and you have inherited all this. What are the privileges? Acceptance. You don’t live a life of condemnation and guilt. Access. You’re not alone, and you go to him all the time in prayer. Protection. You’re not afraid, and you know he’s working all things together for good. Inheritance. You’re not crushed under obligation, but you’re rich and you live like you’re a rich person with the poise and the confidence. It says in John 1:12, as many as received him, he gave authority. He gave power to become children of God. Being a child means authority. Take a look at yourself and remember this: You can’t imitate God and you can’t live this life of greatness unless you see yourself as a dear child, a dearly loved child. Are you? Do you? Are you governed? Is your thinking about yourself governed by the thought that you’re his child? Lastly, you know the really great parable about the relationship to your Father in heaven is still the prodigal son parable. Do you know why you can be a child, an adopted child? Please, listen to this. This is the last illustration and very important. When you take a look at that parable, you will see there was a younger brother and an older brother. The younger brother asked for his part of the father’s inheritance before the father died. It was very unusual, but it was possible. He said, “Look, Father, when you die, the older brother will get this much of the estate, and I will get this much. I want my part now. Sell off whatever part of the land you have or draw out of the bank whatever assets you have that you’ll give me. I want it now.” Think about that. The father gave that to the younger son. The younger son goes off and squanders it on wine, women, song, gambling, and that sort of thing, and as we all know, he comes back absolutely empty-handed, absolutely impoverished. What does the father do? The father comes back like any father. A father accepts. A father gives access. A father protects, and a father is wealthy and bestows his riches on the child. The son is on his way back, and he wants to confess his sin. The father won’t even let him do it. The father sees him coming from afar. He cuts across the field. He pounces on him. He begins to kiss him. The son said, “Wait! Let me confess. I have sinned against heaven and in thy sight, and I’m not worthy.” The father said, “Shut up.” He says, “Come,” to his servants. “Put my robe on his back. Put my ring on his finger. Kill the fatted calf.

4 We’re going to have a party. My younger son, I thought, was dead, and now he’s alive.” That’s the father’s love. It’s not conditioned on your perfection; it’s conditioned on his perfection and is an expression of his perfection. Here is the thing you have to remember: When he gets back in, the elder brother is very angry. Do you know why? Because, you see, since the younger brother has squandered all of the wealth, everything the father is giving to the younger brother is whose? The elder brother’s. See, the elder brother now owns every robe. The elder brother owns every ring. “Every robe is mine,” he says. “Every ring is mine, and every fatted calf is mine. I’ve worked my fingers to the bone and what thanks do I get?” But Jesus puts the elder brother in there when he’s rebuking the Pharisees, and if you look at the context, you’ll know what Jesus is actually saying is, “I am the true elder Brother. I am the real elder Brother.” What would a real elder brother have done? The real elder brother would have gone out there and found the younger brother in the pigsty and would have lifted him up and would have brought him home and said, “Little brother, here’s my robe. Here’s my ring. Here’s my fatted calf. It’s all at my expense, and I freely give it to you. Enter back into the joy of the father. Let’s have a party.” The true elder Brother is Jesus. Do you know why you can enter into the fatherhood of God? Because Jesus “brothered” you. Jesus treated you as a brother. Jesus spent his wealth on you. Because he brothered you, God is now your Father and not your boogeyman and not your Creator. You were built for family love. Will you stop being so upset about the meanness of your family? No human family could possibly meet the needs. This is the family you have to have. All other models are penultimate. Jesus Christ has brothered you so God, the Creator, can father you. Come home to him. Say, “Father, I have sinned.” Go to him and say, “I need your Fatherly love,” and you’ll get it because you got the brotherly love of the true elder Brother. It’s his robe on your back. It’s his ring on your finger, and he says, “I can’t wait to have a party.” You were built for this family love. Live as a dear child. Think of yourself that way, and you’ll be able to imitate him and live this life of greatness. Let’s pray. Now Father, we ask that you would help us to put on and pretend to be what we are, to pretend to be Christ. We don’t have to pretend to be your children because we are your children. “Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the children of God …” Help us to think that way. Help us to live that way. Help us to put on the privileges of son-ship. Help us to see our elder Brother has brothered us and at his own expense has brought us back from the pigsty and has brought us into the welcome of the Father. Lord, help us to live this way, and then and only then, will we be able to tell the truth, to be generous, to live lives of purity. Oh, Father, we are built for this love. Let us receive it. Let us feed on it. We pray it in Jesus’ name, amen.

Keller, T. J. (2013). The Timothy Keller Sermon Archive. New York City: Redeemer Presbyterian Church.

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