Not Your Mother's Library Transcript Episode 5
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Not Your Mother’s Library Transcript Episode 5: Get Happy (Brief intro music) Melody: Hi, and welcome to Not Your Mother's Library! I'm Melody. Rachel: And I'm Rachel. Melody: And we are very excited to welcome two special guests. We have Sarah, who you met last month, and Jill. Welcome to the podcast! So, if you just want to give us a little background…Sarah, we did talk about you last month. I don’t know if there’s anything you wanted to add, maybe…? Sarah: Nothing’s changed, so be sure you listen to last month’s as well as this month’s. You’ll know all about me. Melody: You will get to know Sarah. And then, Jill, do you want to tell us a little bit about yourself? Jill: Sure. So, I am the Library Director here at Oak Creek. I have been the Library Director for about eight years, and before that I was a children’s librarian in a nearby community for about 10 years. I live here in Oak Creek, and I think the most interesting thing about me is that everyone in my family is a librarian. So, both my mom and my sister are librarians, so I have been growing up in libraries my whole life. In fact, my parents came up with my name as my mom was typing a library card. So, I was destined to be a librarian. I like going to the movies, I love listening to podcasts, so I’m excited to be on one! Melody: Yay! Jill: Right now, actually, my current favorite form of reading is listening to audiobooks, because when I read a book I tend to fall asleep. Melody: (laughs) I’ve been there. Rachel: We all have. Melody: Yes, all right. Thank you, Jill. We’re so excited to have you. Rachel: Definitely. Melody: Yes, so the theme for this month is books about happiness or joy, so I just wanted to start off by talking about what background you have with reading books like this. Do you normally read, like, self- help type books, is this a new genre for you? So, I wanted to get started. I kind of have a love-hate relationship with self-help. I used to absolutely hate it, and I always felt like I can improve better by reading a fictional fiction story about someone else and be inspired by them than someone being like, ‘You need to do this and this and this’. I think as I’ve gotten older I’ve started liking self-help more. I read this book, “Girl, Wash Your Face” which I’ve talked about in a previous episode of this podcast. Rachel: The very first episode! Melody: Yes, and that was a big turnaround for me. And I think it just came at the right time in my life where a lot of things were changing, and I needed that encouragement to make changes. So, what about you guys? Anybody want to share? Rachel: Well, I am definitely not a self-help or feel-good fiction reader. I mean, I do read fiction. I think— like you said—that can improve your life, but I don’t seek it out and try to improve myself. I’m more for the story and the characters, so anything that happens is just kind of an aftereffect. Usually a happy one. But it’s probably why I went with a Netflix series for this episode rather than an actual book. Melody: Yeah, it would have been, like, a nightmare to have read a self-help book? Rachel: I think so, yeah. One day I might get there, when I’m more mature. Sarah: It seems like they’re more conversational now. It seems like because there’s a younger group of people writing them they’re much more…they’re written more for people who are younger people. So, they feel a lot less teacher-y or advisory and much more…the hit…the, like, trendy, hip ones that are out right now. Melody: Yeah, and that’s probably the one that I chose for today. It’s definitely along that vein. It’s more casual, easier to read…yeah. Jill: I would say the same thing, like the one that I chose…I’m with Rachel. I try to stay away from self- help books, but the one that I chose is very much a memoir. So, it’s more about someone else’s journey to improving their life or turning their life around as opposed to how you should go about and fix it, because I personally think that’s asking a lot for someone to tell you how to fix your own life. Everyone: (laughs) Rachel: If they lead by example it’s a lot easier to follow. Melody: That’s very true. All right, so I’m going to get started with the first book. It’s called “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero, and this—honestly—I did not get through this whole thing. So, that tells you how I feel about self-help. Everyone: (laughs) Melody: But this is a definitely much more casual take on a self-help kind of a book, and it’s just encouraging you to recognize who you are as a person and understand what things like your background and upbringing and family and friends that has…how that has kind of colored your life and the way you make decisions. And to just be bold and brave and love yourself. So, it is a good read. I would recommend it. Honestly, I didn’t get through it, but the first…you know, the first half was good. I really liked…in the beginning, she starts off by asking you to realize that there are a lot of, I guess, subconscious factors that are affecting the way you make decisions, your habits, how you think. So, things like how your…your parents raised you, and what your…your upbringing was like, and school, and how that all kind of affects who you are and you don’t really realize it. So, she kind of encourages you to think of that and consider what you want to change about that, because that kind of just plays a role in your life without you realizing it. I thought that was interesting. She also is very much…encourages you to do things yourself. So, she says you’re the only person who can make yourself happy. So, she says ‘love yourself’ like, at the end of every chapter. It’s the last point she always has. Rachel: Really driving it home. Sarah: (laughs) Melody: Right, love yourself! And she encourages you to forgive yourself because it’s hurting you more than anybody else. To stop comparing which, for me, was a good one to hear. And control your own thoughts. She also says stop caring about what other people think. I wrote this down because I thought it was good: ‘You’re only responsible for your own behavior, not how people feel about or react to you’. Thought that was a very good point. Jill: That is a good point. Sarah: That’s a great point. Melody: As a natural people pleaser, I feel like I need to keep remembering that. She also talks about the concept of finding your purpose, this vague idea that a lot of people have where they think, ‘Oh, I don’t know what my purpose is yet’, and you see people who are like, ‘Oh I know I was going to be a librarian one day’, and someone else might be like, ‘I have no clue’. And she says don’t worry about it. It’s…that’s…you don’t need to have the answer right now. Just try something. Just, you know, do something, work hard, and you’ll find something. You know, you’ll look back and realize, ‘Oh, this is what led me here’. So, yeah. I thought it was a good read. Rachel: Sounds like good advice. Melody: Yeah, there was some very good advice in there. Sarah: Do you know what her background is? Melody: She—I believe—is a self-help coach. What do you call that? Sarah: Like a life coach? Melody Yes, she’s a life coach! Rachel: I would have gone with ‘guru’, but okay. (laughs) Sarah: (laughs) That’s another flavor, I think, of life coach. Melody: She does have that life coach-y kind of a flair to her writing which can be a little bit like, ugh, okay. Rachel and Sarah: (laughs) Melody: But yeah, it was a good read. And then, my readalike that I recommend, which I haven’t read but I’ve read about, it’s called “The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck” by Sarah Knight, and this actually is kind of a parody of this kind of a book. It’s actually a parody of “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo, and it’s…but it’s very similar to “You Are a Badass” in that they’re both kind of, like, stop caring about what other people think. Do what you need to do for yourself. So, it’s about combating your people-pleasing nature and, kind of, mental decluttering, and dealing with unwanted shame and obligations and guilt. So, that’s a recommended read. Sarah: It’s very funny working at any public service desk where people are trying to request this, because the first book people feel pretty confident and they’ll just say it.