25/04/02 The University of Surrey Students’ Newspaper www.ussu.co.ukLight!Issue no: 1030 FREE Student Council - Thursday Week 12, 1PM

News In Brief

Thames Body Not Amanda Dowler’s A body found in the River Thames is not that UniS Rooms of missing Surrey teenager Amanda Dowler. Police have confirmed the female body, spot- ted by a cyclist near Sunbury Lock in Surrey at 1550 BST on Tuesday, is not that of the 13 year old schoolgirl. The lock is about two miles from Walton-on- Thames, where Amanda was last seen, but had not been part of the extensive search carried To Cost 24% out since her disappearance. BBC correspondent Clarence Mitchell said: “This is relief for the parents, of course, but equally the not-knowing where their daughter is will go on for them so the agony will con- tinue. “But this particular awful prospect has receded once again.” More BY TRISTAN O’DWYER Priced Out? 24%, does that mean that the higher end will Israel Rejects UN Investigators Editor rise by much more than 24%? What is also unclear at the moment is how Israel has turned back on its commitment to A meeting attended by the USSU President and VP this policy sits with the University Widening Student Concerns an international investigation of its offensive Finance and Development, along with the Head of Participation strategy, which looks to encour- against the Jenin refugee camp, who’s centre UniS accommodation and chair of the UniS Finance age people from lower socio-economic back- Many students on the www.ussu.co.uk bulletin was reduced to rubble by Israeli armoured and General Purposes Committee (FGPC) recently grounds to apply to UniS. The University said boards have voiced their concern at this matter bulldozers during it’s latest incursion into revealed that the University is planning to increase that it would not apply the increases “pro rata”, and the policy is due to be discussed at next Palestinian controlled territories. rent for campus rooms by about 24% over the next but would “look at the spectrum of accom- Thursday’s student council meeting. The high- The reason Israel has given for its u-turn is the 4 years. modation provided… including some at lower er the turnout at the meeting the better USSU lack of military experts on the UN team, which The rises were determined by the FGPC, which dis- prices.” This does however beg the question: can represent your views, so come along… is to investigate Palestinian allegations of a cusses and sets University spending, including the If some accommodation will rise by less than 1pm, main union dance floor. massacre inside the camp. However the UN team includes a retired American major-gen- Union’s annual block grant. The committee decided eral, William Nash, and Israeli officials said that rent should go up by 7% in each of the next two privately the demand for more military men years, followed by 4% in each of the following two. This could push an en-suite room to round £90 per was a smokescreen. Racist and Fascist: week. The extra money is needed by the accommo- It also seems that Ariel Sharon’s withdrawal dation office to rejuvenate dilapidated accommoda- of Israeli forces from Palestinian territories is tion, and is the price to pay for under-investment in to be reversed, as there are reports that he is the late 80’s and early 90’s. France’s Next President?!? considering large scale invasions of the Gaza It also emerged from the meeting that the accom- Strip. modation office’s budget has been “ring fenced”, A Guardian/ICM poll this week revealed meaning that no money can be injected from the that the British are showing more support for University’s large reserves. When asked why this the Palestinians than for Israel, although the majority would not commit themselves. Of was the case the University said that it’s funding those polled, 28% supported the Palestinians, council (HEFCE) “does not allow universities to whereas 14% supported Israel. This is in sharp subsidize catering and residences from its general contrast to America, where support for Israel is funds”, effectively saying that its hand were tied. much higher. Also to emerge from the poll however was Fewer Services that more people dislike Yasser Arafat (54%) than Ariel Sharon (50%). Also revealed at the meeting was the fact that clean- ing services are due to be cut, following last year’s removal of the linen service, and that rooms would Regulars no longer be cleaned. It was also admitted that the News 1-3 launderette would not be improved. A suggestion Barearts 4-5 put forward was that students could potentially pay extra if they wanted their rooms cleaning. USSU VP Services 10 Finance and Development, John Geeson, is currently Sport 12 in discussions with the head of University cleaning The man once convicted for attacking a socialist rival and who once claimed to see if progress can be made on this issue. the holocaust was merely a “detail of history” has become France’s second favourite in it’s Presidential elections. Full story page 2. 2 News 25/04/02

Editorial Team Editor NUS: Beware The Politics? Tristan O’Dwyer Deputy Editor Richard Watts political beliefs” , as if this was a The annual conference of the National News and Political Editor good thing. What people seemed Union of Students is an opportunity Reuben Thompson to forget is that the NUS is inher- for students, through the respective Music Editor ently a political organisation. Trade actions of their designated delegates, Kevin Marston Unions in general are about poli- to voice their opinion on the affairs, Film Editor tics, and to argue that you can serve actions, resolutions and policies of Navroop Sehmi your Union well with no political the NUS. During their time there, Sports Editor beliefs is a lie. Those that argue delegates consider a number of issues Dave Chapman that the political groups (or “fac- that directly affect the student popula- tions” as they like to label them) Production Editor tion, from those who have just entered should be banned seem to have Vacant further education to final year post- Tristan O’Dwyer lost track of what Student politics Features Editor graduates, and cast votes on various Richard Watts are about. There was a time when Vacant Editor amendments and motions that will Deputy Editor Arts Editor being young and a student also meant being passionate and idealis- form NUS policy over the forthcom- Jana Kristensen This year was my second at annual tic about causes. Now it just seems ing year. Such issues as student fund- those who wanted all fees abolished conference, so I knew a little more to mean being apathetic. ing, student involvement and NUS soon became heated. As amendments about it than our other delegates Contributors Where I do share some of the frus- reform are discussed at length, and were discussed, so it became increas- and knew what to expect. First Richard Sawyer trations however is when time wast- votes are cast that determine precisely ingly more frustrating as details were impressions however, as you enter Michael Chambers ing measures are taken with endless which policies are supported and the Winter Gardens (the venue) excessively deliberated over and the Julia Walker procedural motions. The result is which are rejected. It is also the time reminiscent of a scene in Monty wider issues neglected. Though it is that some important motions are at which the various positions within Python’s “The Life Of Brian”, right that such matters be considered, missed, such as a proposed motion NUS, such as national president and which involves the Judaen Peoples to argue and bicker over ideals (such [email protected] on the plight of the Palestinians (an national treasurer are voted upon (in Front, The Popular Front of Judea, as “free education”) that, realistically issue that obviously had lots of sup- much the same way as our own sab- barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper, The Judean Popular Peoples speaking, cannot be feasibly achieved port at conference). published by the University of Surrey Students’ Union Front etc... who all seem to argue batical elections). with the governments stance as it is, Communications Office. Anyway - a quick roundup: amongst themselves more than The first motion to be discussed seemed a little redundant. A fine -Mandy Telford (labour students) The views expressed within the paper are those of against the Romans. And so it is was that of student funding, and, in example of such pointless bickering individual authors, and do not necessarily repre- was elected President. at conference with the multitude of particular, the issue of the graduate was the constant calls for re-counts, sent the views of the Editor, the Editorial Board, -Conference voted against support- the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the left wing groups, the most promi- tax. Though a relatively new idea even when it was obvious an over- ing a graduate tax. University of Surrey. nent of these being the Socialist from the government, many students whelming majority had voted in -Support for liberation campaigns This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in Workers. had already voiced their dissatisfac- favour (or against) a particular mat- was reaffirmed. part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without The problem with the permanence tion with the concept; indeed, there -Creation of a full time black stu- ter. Such bureaucracy (and do not be the express permission of these groups however is that it were many students there supporting of the publisher. dents officer was ratified. mistaken, for that is precisely what it seems to lead to a back-lash against the Campaign for Free Education -Palestinian support motion missed was) served only to slow down the All submissions must include the author’s name and all political groups in the NUS. (formed mainly by a coalition of despite large support. whole process, resulting in further Union or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee One candidate for the National socialist and “broad left” groups), and of publication. -Conference voted to reduce size of issues that had been scheduled for the Executive (NEC) even went as so debate between those who were Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not be delegations. end of conference to be neglected and published. far to say, in his hustings speech, -NEC and VP’s elected. offering a compromise of sorts and not voted upon at all. barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions. that he was “proud to have no © USSU Communications Office 2001 Deadline for Publication Features and Arts: Friday 2pm 17% Of France Votes News: Monday 2pm For National Front New USSU Website SubmissionOn disk / email in The leader of France’s far right National Front (FN) Word 6.0 Format, Text in Times New party, Jean-Marie Le Pen has been voted through to Roman, size 9.5 font the second round of the presidential elections, beating Up And Running the socialist Prime Minister Lionel Jospin. Le Pen will barefacts After months of hard work and Union House, now face Jacques Chirac, the current President, in the sleepless nights for the USSU webt- University Of Surrey final round on May 5th. eam, the new look www.ussu.co.uk Guildford, Many in France are shocked about the result, which web site went live at about 1.40am Surrey, saw over 17% of the vote going to the racist Le Pen. GU2 7XH Questions are being asked by many as to how this last Monday. could happen, with many blaming accusing the left The webteam, headed by USSU Tel: 01483 689275 of being too fragmented (the left had 3 Trotskyist, 2 technology officer, Matt Sheppard Fax: 01483 534749 Communist and many other left wing candidates) and had been tasked with taking the old email: [email protected] splitting the vote, whilst others are saying there was site and making it more accessible, too little to separate the two main candidates, Jospin adding new features and also chang- Do you have a complaint and Chirac. ing the look and feel of the site. against this newspaper? Mr Chirac, who is now certain to win the election The front page (right) now features If you have a complaint about any item after having received the support of Jospin and other a news section, the old photos sec- in this newspaper which contains inac- left wingers, has now refused to take part in a televi- tion and some new features includ- curacy, harassment, intrusion or dis- sion debate with Mr Le Pen, saying that he has never ing info on drinks promotions and a crimination write to our editor about it. compromised with the man. guide to what’s on in the Union, al- If you remain dissatisfied please contact Le Pen started the FN in 1972, and has seen his share lowing you to see, at a glance, what the Press Complaints Commission - an of the vote rise from 0.74% in 1974 to over 17% this is happening during the day and independant organisation established to week. Le Pen is a racist who blames most of France’s evening every day of that week. uphold an editorial Code of Practice for Also to receive an upgrade is the the Press. This newspaper will abide by problems on North African immigrants, and once their decision. described the holocaust as being merely a “detail of USSU bulletin board, where you can history”. put your views across on a whole Press Complaints Commission Prime Minister Tony Blair has described Le Pen as range of issues to do with the Union, 1 Salisbury Square being “repellent and racist”. the Uni and the rest of the world. EC4Y 8JB As with any new site, there may Telephone: 020 7353 1248 People have been demonstrating at the result on the Fax: 020 7353 8351 streets of many major cities in France. One anonymous be a couple of little glitches, so French woman told the BBC “I am ashamed and an- if you find any then just e-mail Printed by South West Wales [email protected] to let Matt Publications Ltd, gry”. Since Sundays result many posters have appeared know. Adelaide Street, Swansea around campus saying “J’ai honte d’etre Francais” - I Tel: 01792 510000 am ashamed to be French. 25/04/02 News 3 USSU Job Shop Ready For Business BY TRISTAN O’DWYER youngsters!). Finance is becoming a big Editor issue for many students at UniS, especially with the cost of living rising in an already Tuesday 23rd April saw the opening of a new serv- traditionally expensive area. “This Jobshop ice for students at USSU with the creation of the will help many students find the right job Jobshop. for them, and will hopefully help students Run by the DSS’ Job Centre staff, the Jobshop leave UniS with less debt than would oth- will help students find jobs to help alleviate student erwise be the case. A service tailored to debt problems. Whereas employment agencies off students is what we need, and we are glad campus may not be flexible enough to meet the to say the Union can now offer that serv- needs of students’ timetables and commitments, ice” said Miss Widdows. the Jobshop has been created with the needs of Morgan Laurent, the man responsible for students in mind. Staff from the Guildford Job running the Job Shop said “un-employ- Centre will man the shop on Tuesdays, Thursdays ment in Guildford is just 0.8%, so there as part of a major change at the Union which will Above: The Job Shop, run and Fridays, and the rest of the time the office will are many employers out there who need a flexible, see many more non-commercial services being set by Guildford Job Centre’s be open with jobs advertised on notice boards. intelligent work force. Our job here is to put those up. A large new student activities centre is due to Morgan Laurent is located Lisa Widdows, USSU VP Education and Welfare, people in touch with students.” He also pointed out be built in a section of the Union that used to hold in the Union Building, has been instrumental in the setting up of this that with a national database of 250,000 jobs the the University’s nursery. More details of the plans near reception. project, from pushing the case for its existence Job Shop can also help students find work in their for this will emerge in the coming weeks. to even re-painting the old Pitstop area to house home towns before they go back during vacations. it (opposite the top door to the HRB to all those This is one of the first services to start at USSU THE DRINKING What The Budget LOUNGE IS GO… Means For Students …but where, may we ask, are the sofas?

BY RICHARD WATTS town and campus as the location of their BY REUBEN THOMPSON children, up to those with huge family Deputy Editor frivolities for they will have every require- News and Political Editor incomes who really don’t need the money. ment catered for on the step of their own The benefit will be worth about £2000 a year The Student’s Union launched it’s big new door. Disc jockeys will provide the aural This week the Chancellor, Gordon Brown, for the first child for those on low incomes. and, quite frankly, spangly idea to an unsus- pleasures for the decidedly tipsy crowds on delivered the most controversial budget of People earning up to £55000(!) will receive pecting student public on Monday with the a Monday night whilst Tuesday’s revellers his tenure. Not only did he make considera- £545. Those single people without children drinking equivalent of Pizza Hut’s “all you will be subjected to music of a more live ble changes to the tax system, none of which earning up to £10,000 will also receive a can eat buffet”. The idea is very simple: variety, courtesy of bands and other such will benefit the average student, he also put £500 credit. Unless they are students. pay £10 to get in and pay no more. No people willing to put themselves on a stage up the rate of national insurance for both Also in the budget, the chancellor reduced longer will you have to avoid revision at and sing for a bit. These aren’t the only employers and employees by one per cent. the rate of corporation tax to zero for some home by tidying those paper piles or count- citizens willing to make sacrifices for the The only real change for the better to our very small companies to “encourage enter- ing the number of leaves on the tree outside good of the common cause, though, for financial situation is that the duty on real ale prise”, to 19% in most small to medium your window; instead, you shall simply university security have also given the new has been cut by 14p/pint. This will probably companies and has specified that the VAT have to toddle off to the Union, pay a very nights their support, meaning that safe pas- translate to a negligible change in prices, but structure will be simplified for them to a respectable amount of money, and hope to sage home is as sure as the surest thing in will at least reduce the risk of prices rising. flat rate. This is where the extra one per cent hug your toilet at the end of the evening. Suretown in Sureland. As to the vast majority of you who drink your employers will be paying will go. The The event has been launched to coun- The evening is on a five-week trial, allow- other things, there’s no change to the duty on knock on effect of this increase is likely to be ter-act the student-aimed evening held ing those who decide these things the time any other beer, wines and spirits. Cigarettes that larger employers who are the hardest hit at the Drink each week and is designed to assess whether the new promotion is have gone up six pence a packet, in line with by this increase will be tempted to cut jobs to provide the ambivalent student with a something for the future. All I can say, inflation. Bingo will also be a winner with if the economic situation worsens. At least it much needed push in the right direction: therefore, is give it a go – you don’t know tax being taken off individual cards. will be offset in smaller companies, where no longer will they have to decide betwixt until you’ve tried it. Income tax remained unchanged. This also the risk of redundancies is naturally highest, means, however, that there was no raise in by the reduction in corporation tax. the personal allowance either, so you can, in The Chancellor hinted that he would be real terms, earn less tax free than you could closing the loop on rich foreigners who Any Questions? last year. National Insurance (which students come to live in Britain and avoid paying us cannot claim back), however, has gone up by any tax. This will mean several hundred mil- a penny, ostensibly to pay for huge improve- lion more into coffers in future years, and a BBC Radio Four’s long-running topical current affairs pro- ments to the NHS. Whilst public support for fairer system of treatment for all. After all, it gramme ‘Any Questions?’ is to be broadcast live from the this idea is indeed extremely strong, and hardly seems fair (unless you are Margaret University of Surrey on Friday 3rd May 2002 as part of the there is little doubt that the health service Thatcher…) that you and I have to pay tax University’s 35th anniversary celebrations. desperately needs the money if we are to on everything over four grand we earn, but The programme is hosted by one of Britain’s best known journalists retain universal free health care, hitting multi-billionaires don’t have to pay a penny. and broadcasters, Jonathan Dimbleby, and to date veteran Labour students is not fair. Equally, questions are Much as it’s nice to have them living here, activist Tony Benn and Mike Aaronson from the charity Save being asked about the honesty of putting this they must appreciate that they have a social the Children have been confirmed as panellists for the occasion. on NI and not Income Tax. Why do we have responsibility to pay up! ‘Any Questions?’ celebrated its 50th anniversary in October two separate income taxes when everything Overall, in retrospect, the budget could 1998 and Mr Benn is the programme’s most prolific panellist does, according to the chancellor, go in one have been a lot worse from the students’ to date having appeared around 80 times since 1951. Currently, big pot? point of view, but equally it could have been around 1.5 million people listen to the programme each week. New this year is the family tax credit, exponentially better. We’re still living on a Tickets are available from the University’s Senate House Box which gives sizable tax cuts to those with pittance for another year. Office - Tel: 01483 686876. X-PRESS 2 FEATURING SINGLES DAVID BYRNE SINGLE OF THE WEEK Lazy (Skint) DOVES THE MARS VOLTA There Goes The Fear (Heavenly Tremulant EP (Southern) This anti-anthem proves that Recordings) Rocky, Diesel and Ashley can add Ex members from At The Drive In, Omar more than a touch of sarcastic soul The bearded birds of peace never and Cedric have created a new age in to their already adequate weap- fail to disappoint. A crescendo psychedelic rock wit The Mars Volta. onry of celebrated house music. of summery jingle-jangles com- Tremulant is an explosive piece of art Following on from last year’s parable to Belle & Sebastian at house funk combined with a rock ethic excellent Muzikizum, the trio have their best. Pleasant, soft, reassur- which is so typically hardcore. Psychedelic teamed up with Byrne to produce ing vocals that makes the exams reels of expansion are encased in the one of the best dance tracks of this a little more bearable and brings ‘Concertina’ of groovy funk guitar subtly year. The chant of „I’m wicked the summer and festivals that lit- positioned with an ethereal sound of a mind and I’m lazy“ will definitely be tle closer. Anthem of the summer, filling drugs whilst ‘Eunuch Provocateur’ playing loud and clear on campus maybe? 9/10 M.D.S. explodes with the sounds of the big bang. post-exam time. Check the video A catalytic fusion of prog, dub and funk too – outstanding. 8/10 M.R. BRITISH SEA POWER laden guitar sounds. Outstanding, debut The Spirit Of St Louis/The from a wonderfully eclectic band filled DOT ALLISON Lonely (Rough Trade) with energy and spice. 9/10 K.M. Substance (mantra) A good example of how to come no exception. Lead guitarist and LHB is pleasing to the ear but nothing The synth is like an old depeche up with a quality double A-side. vocalist Jamie is reminiscent of Everybody Sees It On My Face drastically different or outstand- mode tune crossed with a com- The first track is a sort of melan- Gavin Rossendale in vocal talent (Telstar) ing from their repertoire. They do puter game from the 80s, but cholic, but foot-tapping homage to whilst the sound is angst ridden show a fair amount of promise but the singing by Dot Allison is Charles Lindbergh with a retro-ish guitar rock laden with hooks to die A single that is hard to define, they do risk the possibility that soft and beautiful. Mixed by tint along the lines of The Strokes for. Another British talent. 8/10 ‘Everybody Sees It On My Face’, they may be going down the road Keith Tenniswood (Two Lone and The Hives. They change tack K.M. is dance at heart, although it that the Stereophonics and Travis Swordsman / Radioactive Man) on ‘The Lonely’, a superb melodic manages to have the downbeat took. The road where they travel and with inspiration from dance lament similar to Suede in their VUE atmosphere of an indie tune, while in the middle, pleasing many a and late 80s house music, ‘Coming Up’ period. Promising, Pictures Of Me (Sub Pop) simultaneously revolving around a middle-aged, mondeo driving man ‘Substance’ is a great tune both for very promising. 8/10 P.G.S. sample of The Police’s ‘Invisible round the country. 6/10 M.D.S. listening and dancing. What it’s ‘Pictures of me’ is a collective of Sun’. A curious mix of ingredients like? Ladytron, only less happy THE D4 ‘Oasis’ style riffs and punk style perhaps, but it’s definitely catchy. HAVEN bleeps and more synth. I’m just Rock N Roll Motherfucker vocals that we’ve become used 7/10 P.G.S. Til The End (Radiate Records) waiting for the ! 8/10 J.K. (Infectious) to recently. Too much of a good thing can hide bands like Vie’ SUGABABES ‘Til The End’ is the sort of whin- REUBEN An excitable release from this who have supported the likes of Freak Like Me (Universal ing Indie song that you are bound Scared Of The Police New Zealand quartet, ‘Rock N ‘The Whit Stripes’. If you like Island) to hear a couple of times a day on (Bossmusic) Roll Motherfucker’ sounds exactly B.R.M.C. you will love this offer- the Radio, no matter what channel like it should; a punky take on an ing from yet another new spark New member (Heidi Range), New you tune into. And the worst of it Reuben are what you would call early Supergrass à la ‘I’d Like To in rock. Four different tracks on Direction? The year 2000 saw is that after a while it doesn’t mat- a post grunge rock band, one that Know’. It might be a simple tune, one single of this quality warrants the emergence of the Sugababes. ter, the song even starts to sound defies the logic’s of old for full but it’s effective at showing what attention, put you money where A talented, young girl group that all right. frontal noise and all out aggression they’re good at. Short and sweet. your mouth is. 8/10 M.B. had an image of uber-cool wee The single follows the release of spliced with an unnerving intel- 8/10 P.G.S. sproggies doing some damn good haven’s debut album ‘Between ligence and maturity for ones so music. After the departure of sexy The Senses’ last month, an album young. ‘Scared Of The Police’ is Siobhan in 2001 would this be which got great reviews. Expect lost. Well the answer appears to to see it soon on a TV screen near be no, they’ve managed to keep you. 6/10 J.K. REUBEN that sleek image and still produce Scared Of The Police (Bossmusic) some fine music. They’ve pulled LADIES FIRST it off with a reworking of Adina I Can’t Wait (Polydor) Reuben are what you would call a post Howards vocals on top of Gary grunge rock band, one that defies the log- Numan’s electro wizardry – same The revamp of this eighties hit ic’s of old for full frontal noise and all out direction of laid-back cool from a given a bit of a Soul, Garage aggression spliced with an unnerving intel- new line-up of very promising tal- groove brings it to life. This hum ligence and maturity for ones so young. ent. 7/10 M.D.S. able tune is bound to impact the ‘Scared Of The Police’ is no exception. chart and launch a career from Lead guitarist and vocalist Jamie is remi- STARSAILOR some borrowed song. But if they niscent of Gavin Rossendale in vocal talent Poor Misguided Fool (Chrysalis) can churn out singles like this pop, whilst the sound is angst ridden guitar rock success could come their way. laden with hooks to die for. Another British This Wigan-based group provide Uplifting Garage beats with soul-

RECOMMENDED talent. 8/10 K.M. another single off their big selling ful vocals make this a great com- album ‘Love Is Here’. Yet another bination even if they’ve nicked the acoustic, melancholic number that song. 6/10 M.B. 5 25/04/02 artists go to the same bars, restau- rants and even hairdresser. I’m just ALBUMS waiting to see what they’ll come ALBUM OF THE WEEK up with next time, and in the mean DAVID HOLMES FC KAHUNA time I’ll fall asleep listening to Come Get It I Got It feat. Free Association (13 Machine Says Yes (City Rockers) Múm. 8/10 J.K. Amp)

The electronic swirls of the eight- FABRIC LIVE 03 David Holmes presents an assortment of chilled ies have returned in a newly cased DJ Hype (Fabric) out funk slices arranging from the discrete sounds Pandora’s box of synthetic, sur- of the sixties to the tasty seventies in all their realistic sounds of FC Kahuna. This is the third CD in the series modern glory. You have the classic pianos, the Dark, mysterious and at times of live takes from the resident trumpets and all that razzmatazz from the soulful enlightening, ‘Machine Says Yes’ DJ’s at the acclaimed alternative and elegant sounds of the funk. Classic covers of is undoubtedly eclectic whilst dance club, Fabric in Farringdon. ‘Nobody’, and ‘Purple Haze’ fill the air with that lazy and ambiguous at spaces of Tonight’s specialty is the Drum wonderful herbal desire that augments the sound of fundamental crossovers of sound ‘n’ Bass supremeo, DJ Hype play- coolness. Mr Holmes has brought a breeze of qual- discoveries. ‘Glitterball’ rolls on ing some of the coolest tracks ity to the stagnated waters of those so called chill supernatural wave lengths light- from the underground sound that out albums. 9/10 K.M. ened by the hyperreal soundscapes will free your mind. The pulsat- that pass us by in mind and matter. ing bass reverbs around each track in student courts.. but if you like his manifesto pointed squarely at ‘This Love’ is one of many songs Whereas ‘Growler’ disappears into superseeding the desires of rest the film, why not get the album as the hypocrisies of … well, pretty based around smoochy subjects an abyss of bio symbiotic loops of while the frenzied passion of the well. 6/10 J.K. much everything. Tracks titled but is executed to perform a well- aggression naturally wired to the fusions of beats cascade around “So Called Party Over There” produced album that flows along ethos of the ‘Machine Says Yes’. the soundscape of your room. It MUM & DAD and “You Snooze You Lose” fea- without you noticing in disgust or Space and time mean nothing in is a catharsis of symbiotic loops Mum & Dad (Twisted Nerve) ture some of the cleverest lyrics admiration. 6/10 M.B. this futuristic world of FC Kahuna, and beats echoing the sounds of in recent memory. Unfortunately it drifts and slumbers to the sound London. What more could you ask As ever, the Twisted Nerve stable Chilly Gonzo also spouts com- ALI G INDAHOUSE of ‘Hayling’ or becomes alive with except that it contains ‘Body Rock’ offers up an act that can at times plete rubbish at times and ends Da Soundtrack (Island) ‘Mindset To Cycle’. Nothing is to by Shimon & , ‘Casino be sublime (‘Bird With A Broken up sounding like rap’s very own far for this entity. 9/10 K.M. Royale’ by DJ Zinc and ‘Jazz Leg’) and, as the saying goes, Weird Al Yankovic. It’s hard to Ali G displays his DJ skills by Juice’ by Pascal. Classically bom- ridiculous (‘The Electric Princess’). work out who Gonzales is trying spinning the decks for ‘Drive st VARIOUS bastic. 7/10 K.M. Their debut album can be a frustrat- to be – a rapper with serious 21 By Fm’ with his spontaneous off Soma 10 Anthology (Soma) ing listen taking in all the peculi- century issues or a geeky cartoon the cuff comments blended with RESIDENTAL EVIL – arities of the label’s head honcho, character insistent on playing class hard-hitting tracks. ‘M Beats’ In the last decade this Glaswegian SOUNDTRACK Andy Votel, but can also be reward- joker. The eighties resurgence ‘Incredible’ is a raw quality track based dance label has provided Various Artists (Roadrunner) ing if you are willing to give it more is not lost with Casio keyboard- ‘Ali G’ himself has leant the lingo the launch pad for a number of than one listen – which is harder esque beats combined with tacky from “Boyakka, Jungle Massive”. dance acts including Daft Punk Not yet on the cinema, the sound- than it sounds. Concentrating on Germanic electro-pop combin- His own hit ‘Me Julie’ featuring (who start the record off with ‘Da track is out now -promising a lot their aim to “destroy blandness ing to produce some entertaining ‘Shaggy’ using ‘Jay Z’s’ ‘IZZO’ Funk’), as well as providing an of action and loud music. For with our sonic weaponry” with a tracks. Think of an experiment sample sits pride of place along- outlet for the label’s founders, those out there who didn’t know, hybrid of New York punk and syn- with Jimi Tenor, Eminem and Gary side ‘Public Enemy’ and ‘NMA’. Orde Meikle and Stuart McMillan. Resident Evil ‘the movie’ is based thetic madness they seem to have Numan gone horribly wrong. 6/10 ‘Afrika Bombaataa and Soul Sonic In short it’s a collection of some of on the video game with the same ignored the fact that they can eas- M.R. Force’s, ‘Planet Rock’ is too good the less well-known house classics name, and the film will stars Milla ily equal anything acts such as the for an Ali G soundtrack but does that have you might just not have Jovovich together with more Beta Band have achieved recently. GLEMM LEWIS show up the lesser tracks. If heard. Scott Grooves’ collabora- known and unknown actors, and However, the fact that they switch World Outside My Window you’ve seen the film you’ll prob- tion with Roy Ayers to produce the is about ‘a battle of good and evil’ from amphetamine-fuelled Primal (Epic) ably an Ali G fan and you will like smooth ‘Expansions’ is a perfect and humans verses computers. Scream rock to simple ballads with the anecdote format, hate him your example of the lush house on offer What more there is to say than that such effortlessness is their basis of Soulful male vocalist, Glenn Lewis will hate this. This rap, hip-hop here. Although some of the tunes I honestly don’t know, but you get their appeal. M&D provide a wel- use of basic musical elements and Garage compilation is a mish may seem a bit dated, this double the picture. Hard rock isn’t really comed excursion from the medioc- shows off his real vocal talent. mash that’s out of place. 5/10 CD compilation still remains an my cup of tea, although there are rity of modern music. Twisted. 6/10 This low tempo album is smooth M.B. essential for every house obses- some really good songs on this M.R.GONZALES and expressive showing. ‘Don’t sive’s collection. 8/10 P.G.S. one. The soundtrack features artists Presidential Suite (Kitty-yo!) You Forget It’ is a glimpse of what QUEEN OF THE DAMNED such as Slipknot, Marilyn Manson, he has to offer, heart felt vocals Soundtrack (Warner) MÚM Fear Factory, Rammstein, and my This self proclaimed “pimp AND with simple accompaniment. The Finally We Are No One (FatCat) personal favourite; Depeche Mode. ho” adopts the persona of the most introduction of a pianist and back- This Gothic film carries on the It’s the sort of music that has to be extravagant, politically savvy and ing vocals round this ‘Its Not Fair’ same vain throughout the sound- Being from Iceland, Múm have played really loud to be any good, easily the campest man in hip-hop to a higher standard than others track with offering from the world really picked up on that Islandic something which doesn’t really to stomp around in his “politi- tracks. The slight increase in pace of hard rock. ‘Korn’ front man sound we have heard oh so many go well with the paper-thin walls cal platform shoes” and deliver is a little to late but worth the wait. Jonathan Davies was part of the times from artists such as Björk writing team involved in this spe- Dried Pop’ is a disappointment, but if the last track and Sigurd Ròs. ‘Finally We Are cially written film score. Many The Singles (Superior Quality ‘The Bluetones Big Score’ is anything to go by, then No One’ is their second album top names have provided vocals or Recordings) the future is certainly bright. 8/10 P.G.S. and hopefully this time they will music including the likes of ‘Pap Roach’, ‘Deftones and ‘Tricky’. manage to be heard through all Over the last 7 or so years, The Bluetones ‘Chester Bennington’ of ‘Linkin the other cheese that is played have proved that they have the staying Park’ ruins his potential vocal tal- everywhere. Imagine the singing power that many of their rivals lacked. ent by screaming out the words to tones of Sigurd Ròs, performed by This collection of singles from the brash no real effect. ‘Redeemer’ is suit- the characteristic voices of twin debut ‘Are You Blue Or Are You Blind’ all ably atmospheric with the vocals sisters Kristín Anna and Gyða the way through to the latest single ‘After executed expertly from ‘Marilyn Valtýsdóttir, together with happy Hours’ shows why. Although in the eyes of Manson’! ‘Godhead’ hold their electronica and an immensely many their later albums never quite matched own in a star line up and offer a assortment of instruments – includ- the superb ‘Expecting To Fly’, Adam taste of what they can achieve. ing accordion, melodica, glocken- Devlin’s melodic guitar riffs and Mark Hard guitars and vocals are the spiel, synthesizers, guitars, bass Morriss’s whimsical vocals on singles such order of the day showing the and cello. Not to forget all the as ‘Slight Return’, ‘If…’ and ‘Cut Some cream of ‘Gothic’ music. Sadly beats and bleeps. Rug’ made The Bluetones seem like some of from this display its hardly inspi- It is said that the reason to why the best indie pop purveyors around. So it’s rational though now quiet popular. Iceland is so rich on cultural life a shame that their (previously unreleased) RECOMMENDED 5/10 M.B. (despite the fact that there only is new stuff is somewhat hit and miss. ‘Freeze about one city there), is that all the

25/04/02 Personals/Society Profiles 9 The Stars Wot A Proper Astrologer Did BAREFACTS 2002/3 Hello all - ‘tis your friendly deputy editor here. THE ARTS SECTION: basically, will be Aries: (March 21—April 19) As you may or may not be aware, I am going split into preview-what’s on-review, where Give yourself a well-deserved treat by mixing incompatible drugs and having an to be editor of this wee here paper next year each ‘event’, or what have you, moves ill-advised sexual encounter. You owe it to yourself for the week you’re about to and am therefore looking to encourage those through each phase according to when it have. Though a seemingly bleak forecast, worse can happen and you’d be advised amongst you who may want to get invloved with happens...this will incorporate theatre reviews, to remember that. barefacts next year. At this precise moment, art exhibition reviews and also comprehen- numerous ideas have been planned and outlined, sive detials of the goings on in our very own Taurus: (April. 20—May 20) a few of which are listed a little later on, all in- dance department and the events at PATS. You will soon learn the subtle value of silence in those who disapprove of you. cluded with the hope of making bf a better, more Though a seemingly short forecast, less could be said and you’d be advised to inclusive newspaper next year. LIFESTYLE SECTION - recipes, stars, shop- remember that. As ever, goals such as these cannot be achieved ping guides at particular times of the year, by three people sitting in an office late on a restaurant guide, life after the womb (unless Gemini: (May 21—June 21) Tuesday night, say, and so I will be badgering everyone is bored of it), personals, possi- The stars indicate that you’ve been looking good lately. Also, they need to borrow you all over the next five weeks to get in touch bly classified ads i.e things to do and enjoy. £20. Though a seemingly silly forecast, they could have asked for more and you’d with me so that things can work out as planned. be advised to remember that. Any ideas you have for articles, regular features, SPORT AND NEWS are the things i’m particular sections etc. are absolutely welcome still playing with. For news, i’m thinking 4- Cancer: (June 22—July 22) and I implore you to make sure you tell me about 5 pages reviewing the week (objective) and Next week, you will learn the hard way just how important it is to pay attention to them. Even if you just mention things you think an opinion page a la “comment and analy- the fine print noting that the stunt is being performed by professional drivers on a have been shockingly bad in this or previous sis” in the independent, perhaps, wth edito- closed course. Though a seemingly inappropriate forecast, other people drive cars years will go some way to making the paper rial, letters and opinion pieces (subjective). and you’d be advised to remember that. a better publication. (Although, if you could As for sport - we’re toying with the idea steer clear of commenting on all of the spelling of a separate bi-weekly publication but Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22) mistkaes, that would be appreciated - mainly for am not sure yet...feedback from sports You’ll feel strangely unflattered by a celebrity comparison when you’re described the fact that they are all due to my abysmal typ- clubs would be appreciated on that one. as looking like the crate they shipped Star Jones in. Though a seemingly nasty fore- ing). So you can see there is plenty of substance - it cast, there are uglier people and you’d be advised to remember that. Here then, are a few ideas for the newspaper: is the execution we need now. A lot of this stuff can be done during those lazy days in summer, Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22) `INTERACTIVE’ SECTION: who wants to freeing up term time to do whatever it is you When they announce the pregnancy of the Washington Zoo’s panda next week, just be a millionaire (again), cross-word (again), want to do, so if you can get in touch with me sit back and smile knowingly. Though a seemingly humorous forecast, some people lyrics quiz (again), caught on camera (again) before term is out, we can discuss things then. do actually have sex with animals and you’d be advised to remember that. etc. i.e. more stuff to actually do than to read To get in touch, simply type this in the appropri- - good to wile away those hours on the toilet. ate place on a computer: Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23) Your first impression will be that you were so drunk you married the bearded lady, A WEEK IN THE LIFE OF...some unsus- [email protected] but moments later, you’ll realize you made a mistake about the gender. You may pecting person whose life it may do us think that an unlikely forecast, but people do do silly things when they are drunk good to know about. Alan Roy perhaps... (If you are going to abuse me using this e-mail and you’d be advised to remember that. address, then make it funny - or at least some- INCORPORATED UNDER ARTS: what inventive.) Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21) film section - reviews of current offer- It is also worth mentioning at this point that we You’re getting to the point where you’d kill for a cigarette, despite never having ings, classic film of the week, video WILL be increasing participation in GU2, the smoked in your life. Though an unhealthy forecast, there are people who do despa- releases. (under editorship of a film editor). rather fantastic radio station, and the website rate things at desparate times and you’d be advised to remember that. (which, if you care to look at www.ussu.co.uk, LITERATURE SECTION - classic book of has had a fantastic re-vamp), through pages in Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21) the week, one to read, author of the week... barefacts and other schemes, so if you are in- Early reviews will refer to you as “smart, sassy, sexy, and full of non-stop terested in being involved with those mediums, Broadway razzle-dazzle.” Though a somewhat arty forecast, there are people in this MUSIC - a little like now but not really (cer- again, e-mail the address above. world who go to Broadway shows and you’d be advised to remember that. tainly taking less precedent over the other For more information, check the thread on the things). stuff like “whose music collection is bulletin board (on the website above). I would Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19) this?”, reviews of stuff that we don’t get sent like to offer free biscuits as an incentive for all of You’d have had a much better chance of acquittal if one of the witnesses against - other things too. There are folks already this, you know, but I don’t get the chance to go to you hadn’t been an Osmond. Though a somewhat legal forecast, some people do go in place as music editors, but we still need tesco’s too often - sorry. to court and you’d be advised to remember that. reviewers/music lovers to keep the ship afloat. Thanks for listening - Rich Watts.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18) You’ve joked about being a snacking machine, but you had no idea that you were specifically constructed by the Nabisco Corporation for its own dark product-con- PERSONALS sumption purposes. Though a seemingly capitalist forecast, there are people in this Rich W is a knob. DRAWER! world who eat far too much chocolate and you’d be advised to remember that. Hey fairy, I know a little princess who loves you John - what month is it? Does that mean it is not loads!!! Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20) your sister’s birthday, then? Alix, Henry knows about the Fosters! A time-travel accident transports you to an era when you are irresistible to the unwashed, plague-ridden, lesion-faced opposite sex. Though a seemingly fantasti- There was a young chappy called Rich, Thanks for the pic guys! You definately got her cal forecast, there are those who believe that time-travel is possible and you’d be who liked to play some really fun disc, best side! Zx advised to remember that. exams in a week, some help he must seek Cathy: Did you enjoy your chat with the big white Generally speaking, therefore, people of the world, you would be advised that or perhaps he like’s taking a risk. telephone on Saturday? You did seem to have alot to say to each other..... there are many people in this world who are doing things you wouldn’t necessarily To all 2nd year psychologists - all the best in approve of, but they are they are the ones doing whatever it is they are doing, and your exams. Just remember: glutocorticoids. So did anyone actually make it to the end of Toy so you shuld probably just leave them to their own devices. After all, they are more (Or something like that). Story 2? than likely looking at you and wondering quite what the hell it is you are getting up to. mon b and dr - thanks for your support these last Rich: Hard pear bonker! Hah! This is the point, though: we all need to live in perfect harmony - a fusion of sanc- few weeks. timonious sanctity and flower-like love. They started it in the sixties, realised it was Korrh! Hip Bare Dancer! Hah! still cool to pretend like you’re still in the sixties in the seventies, earned too much why do all girls’ breast’s look bigger in summer? are they solar powered? money in the eighties to even think about anything remotely sixties or seventies like Beware loose women write these and lived the drem in the nineties. It is our casue to carry it on. Let us do that. Bumbletoad is getting regular jiggy GREAT! TOP personals! 10 Services 25/04/02 Dr Russ says “...... Money Matters! Networking course, they’re going through a bad patch at the time! Gradually, There are many different ways you pick up information about Going On Placement? to look for a job. Replying to the overall recruitment situation. Organise your accommodation as adverts, writing ‘on spec’, using They might even invite you for lunch or a drink after work so you Think about your finances soon as possible to avoid being left recruitment agencies and going with the most expensive! to recruitment fairs are tried and can talk for longer. Better still, – they might know someone else tested paths to gaining employ- Check your tenancy agreement for Most, but not all, students who are ment. So what is networking and who could help you even more. your Guildford accommodation on a professional training year are where does it fit in? And so your network of contacts and make sure that you meet all the entitled to request a grows. Eventually one of these requirements in student loan – how- Networking is really only an might mention a specific vacancy good time. Christmas card list, relatives, ever, be warned, this abbreviation for what started which you could apply for, or friends of the family, contacts is unlikely to the sort life as the “old boy network”. they might be able to offer you a Don’t forget that made through your Professional of amount you have Equal opportunities policies and period of work experience. you can still ask year, members of academic staff had during your previ- for help from enlightened recruitment practices and so on. ous years of study, it With the “old boy network”, jobs the University have fortunately consigned that is likely to be closer often came to people on a plate, Hardship Funds particular form of job-hunting The next step is simple in con- to 50% Contact your but then, they didn’t necessar- even though you largely to the bin. But it lives on cept, but a bit threatening in LEA to receive an ily end up doing something they are on place- in a new form which is a lot fairer practice. You need to contact accurate figure of the really wanted to. The modern ment. If you are and just as effective. as many of the people on your sum you will be able to equivalent is harder work, but at in an unpaid or low paid placement it list as possible. Let them know borrow. least you remain in control and is possible that we can help. Contact This is how it works. Sit down the kind of work you’re looking when something finally turns SAIS as soon as possible. with a blank sheet of paper and for and then ask them how they Fees will still need to be paid to the up, you feel as if you’ve really University so don’t forget to apply to write down the names of all the would advise you to go about Student Advice and Information earned it. your Local Education Authority for people you know who are in any job-hunting. Generally speaking, Service, (SAIS) funding – don’t assume that because way connected with the kind of people love giving advice. They Wey Flat 2, Surrey Court, Russ Clark you are not attending lectures there work or the kind of employer you are also usually happy to talk Tel: 01483 689261 Careers Service is nothing to pay. have in mind. Try using your about their own work, unless, of E-mail [email protected] FIRST AID COURSE

• If you were at work and you witnessed an accident, would you know what to do? • If you are at home and a friend collapses, would you know what action to take?

Can you save somebody’s life?

St. John Ambulance LINKS Group are running a First Aid at Work course on the 27th and 28th April and 4th and 5th May. This four day course will give you a nationally recog- nised qualification to enhance your C.V., as well as teaching you useful lifesaving skills.

For more information email Joanne Payne on [email protected] or come along to one of our weekly meetings on Tuesday nights in TB11 from 7.30pm. There are a limited number of places on the course which will be allocated on a first come, first served basis.

You CAN save somebody’s life! Notices Euchrist - Every Thursday by Rev John 9th May, Roots Strain, 12:30pm, Grant Mitchel Room Ecconomics Society AGM @ 6pm Union cashiers office is open 12:00 - 14: Thursday 25th April, 04 AD G 00 every working day except wednes- days. Jiu Jitsu AGM Wednesday 8th May (week13) Nordic Society AGM @ 6pm Tuesday 7:15pm 30th April, Venue tba Chemistry Society AGM @ 12pm Nightline Society AGM @ 6pm Thursday Tuesday 7th May, GMR 25th April, 18AD04 Traidcraft will be in the Union from 10-3 Music Society - Alternative AGM @ 7.30 on the 2nd May (Thursday week) 2nd May, Granrt Mitchell Room selling the usual fair trade food, crafts, gifts and household goods. 7pm Thursday 9th May (week 13) @ Please come along and support fair trade! Hari’s Bar Quality for Quality!

Green Society AGM @ 6pm Thursday Classes & Courses

The new programme started this week. The activities are a great way reduc- ing stress especially for those who are studying for exams. Try Tai Chi, Yoga, aerobics, any of our diverse dance classes or drop into a workshop in Tennis, Badminton or Canoeing. Pick up a brochure for more details.

Social Sports Day 2002 Wednesday 8th May

Last year’s day was so successful with 20 teams competing we have decided to run it again so get your teams ready for this day of laughs and competition. Teams can be made up from departments, houses & friends of both men and women. Pick up an application form now! SURREY PRIDE

:

CANOEING WORKSHOPS SPORTS PROFILE: BY CATHERINE MARSHALL sessions are open to all and will cost £1 (incl. minibus hire). Meet in the Union foyer at 1.30pm and bring Trampolining Well, it’s nearly the end of term, the weather’s getting hotter and a set of old clothes to wear in the canoe (including what better way to relieve the stress of exams than to spend the old trainers). For more information please contact afternoon canoeing on the river Wey! The next four consecutive Catherine on [email protected] or just Wednesday afternoons will be devoted to workshops aimed at turn up! beginners and those who want to brush up on their skills. These 29th Annual Colours Ball close up magicians entertain- rd ing the tables, as well as all (3 May 2002) the other ents still available – Program’s on tables. 5pm. ‘Drinks Meet’ Trophy awards will take Shaggy is putting on some special drinks place during this time. offers up in Harris Bar for those eager beaver drinkers pre colours. 9.30pm. Jazz / Soul band Name and Age: Kirsten Lawton, 21 Some easy going tunes for Nickname: Curly 6pm. Meet @ Natwest the coffee course, followed Coaches will be leaving Natwest just by some soul music Best Feature: My big gob and nice teeth. after 6pm, so be prompt – especially for those who remember last year! What do you look for in a man? Big hands and 11.30pm. DJ Kam feet Time to get on those danc- 7pm. Arrive @ Savill Court ing shoes to work off the Marital Status: Taken, by a lecturer (not from this Drinks will be available from the various bars as dinner with a variety of Uni! well as the following entertainment – tunes from ‘Kam the Man’ • Favourite move: Rand ball out - 2 1/2 twisting som- Bunking Bronco ersault from my back! • Bungee Run 1.30am. Bar Closes • Kangaroo Boxing Sorry guys, it always has to Best thing about my sport: The feeling of flying, • Vodka Luge – only £1 per shot come to an end!! getting money, and free clothes! • Caricaturist Worst thing: It doesn’t get the recognition it • Photographer 2am. Coaches Depart deserves. (£4 on the night – photos sent after- Back to Guildford – bin wards but it is computerized so you bags will be available on Best sporting moments: Getting the world record can see what you are buying) in 2001, coming second to the olympic cham- the coaches for any mess pion at the Russian World Cup, and meeting that may arrive during the the queen. 7.30pm. Colours Awards journey home. Caps / Full Colours / Half Colours / Club Colours Sporting idol: Denise Lewis - she’s amazing Presented by the Warden of Colours Any further questions please email the Most embarassing momnet: Doing a double sports office on: back somersault off the side of the trampo- 8pm. Dinner line oto my front on the floor. Four Course meal including wine, with [email protected] Hidden aspects to the sport: Bum glue, waist elastic, tramp. shoes.

Last time you were drunk and threw Against the odds... up: Last year at the Internationals in Russia. The party was in a lap Womens football times!! They got another into the back of the net, from dancing club in our hotel! a hasty corner, which was first given as a free kick!! But Favourite Food: Anything On the arrival to the grounds at Sussex University, Denise was already we grit our teeth and slid back into the game, quite liter- sweet, especially sticky on the blower complaining about the state of the pitch. Lets just say it ally, and so at half time it was even stevens. The rain got toffee. wasn’t Anfield!! Her opening comment was “even though the pitch is worse in the second half, but the stamina of the girls was s**t, it doesn’t mean we have to play like it!!” Nice one Dee. great. The best moment of the match again goes to Beasty!! You in 3 words: We won the toss and chose to play up hill, i.e. at a 20-degree angle. We She decided to swear very loudly at the ref, after a bad deci- Crazy, sexy, knocked the first one in the back of the net, to which they calmly replied. sion on his part, telling him in her own choice words where to cool. At this point it started to chuck it down, and so we quite happily got stuck go!! Thankfully she didn’t get sent off, and the ref angle was on in, slide tackles were abundant and our bright yellow and blue kit was our side at that moment in time!! This was definitely a well fought rapidly resembling the colour of the turf!! Rachel had to work a bit more match and all the girls were showing great skill. this week, and put in some great saves, literally flying through the air at Gobs of the match…. Dee and Beast!!