Emotional Abuse Forms, Process, Patterns and Ways to Overcome
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Please Don't Praise It: How Compliments on Identity Signals
ASSOCIATION FOR CONSUMER RESEARCH Labovitz School of Business & Economics, University of Minnesota Duluth, 11 E. Superior Street, Suite 210, Duluth, MN 55802 Please Don’T Praise It: How Compliments on Identity Signals Result in Embarrassment Lisa A. Cavanaugh, University of Southern California, USA Joseph C. Nunes, University of Southern California, USA Young Jee Han, Sungkyunkwan University, Korea Four studies show that receiving a compliment related to an identity signal often results in embarrassment, an arguably unforeseen and generally unwelcome self-conscious emotion. Consumer embarrassment depends on the conspicuousness of the signal as well as the extent to which the signal and one’s beliefs about oneself are incongruent. [to cite]: Lisa A. Cavanaugh, Joseph C. Nunes, and Young Jee Han (2016) ,"Please Don’T Praise It: How Compliments on Identity Signals Result in Embarrassment", in NA - Advances in Consumer Research Volume 44, eds. Page Moreau and Stefano Puntoni, Duluth, MN : Association for Consumer Research, Pages: 70-75. [url]: http://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/1021685/volumes/v44/NA-44 [copyright notice]: This work is copyrighted by The Association for Consumer Research. For permission to copy or use this work in whole or in part, please contact the Copyright Clearance Center at http://www.copyright.com/. My Heart on my Sleeve: Emotion as Information in a Social World Chair: Yimin Cheng, Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, China Paper #1: Please Don’t Praise It: How Compliments on Identity to signal intrinsic (vs. extrinsic or control) motivation strategically Signals Result in Embarrassment display larger smiles to potential observers. Lisa A. Cavanaugh, University of Southern California, USA These informational effects of emotions may at times be highly Joseph C. -
Guilt, Shame, and Grief: an Empirical Study of Perinatal Bereavement
Guilt, Shame, and Grief: An Empirical Study of Perinatal Bereavement by Peter Barr 'Death in the sickroom', Edvard Munch 1893 A thesis submitted in fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Centre for Behavioural Sciences Faculty of Medicine University of Sydney November, 2003 Preface All of the work described in this thesis was carried out personally by the author under the auspices of the Centre for Behavioural Sciences, Department of Medicine, Faculty of Medicine, University of Sydney. None of the work has been submitted previously for the purpose of obtaining any other degree. Peter Barr OAM, MB BS, FRACP ii The investigator cannot truthfully maintain his relationship with reality—a relationship without which all his work becomes a well-regulated game—if he does not again and again, whenever it is necessary, gaze beyond the limits into a sphere which is not his sphere of work, yet which he must contemplate with all his power of research in order to do justice to his own task. Buber, M. (1957). Guilt and guilt feelings. Psychiatry, 20, p. 114. iii Acknowledgements I am thankful to the Department of Obstetrics and Department of Neonatology of the following hospitals for giving me permission to approach parents bereaved by stillbirth or neonatal death: Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, Royal Hospital for Women, Royal North Shore Hospital and Westmead Hospital. I am most grateful to Associate Professor Susan Hayes and Dr Douglas Farnill for their insightful supervision and unstinting encouragement and support. Dr Andrew Martin and Dr Julie Pallant gave me sensible statistical advice. -
About Emotions There Are 8 Primary Emotions. You Are Born with These
About Emotions There are 8 primary emotions. You are born with these emotions wired into your brain. That wiring causes your body to react in certain ways and for you to have certain urges when the emotion arises. Here is a list of primary emotions: Eight Primary Emotions Anger: fury, outrage, wrath, irritability, hostility, resentment and violence. Sadness: grief, sorrow, gloom, melancholy, despair, loneliness, and depression. Fear: anxiety, apprehension, nervousness, dread, fright, and panic. Joy: enjoyment, happiness, relief, bliss, delight, pride, thrill, and ecstasy. Interest: acceptance, friendliness, trust, kindness, affection, love, and devotion. Surprise: shock, astonishment, amazement, astound, and wonder. Disgust: contempt, disdain, scorn, aversion, distaste, and revulsion. Shame: guilt, embarrassment, chagrin, remorse, regret, and contrition. All other emotions are made up by combining these basic 8 emotions. Sometimes we have secondary emotions, an emotional reaction to an emotion. We learn these. Some examples of these are: o Feeling shame when you get angry. o Feeling angry when you have a shame response (e.g., hurt feelings). o Feeling fear when you get angry (maybe you’ve been punished for anger). There are many more. These are NOT wired into our bodies and brains, but are learned from our families, our culture, and others. When you have a secondary emotion, the key is to figure out what the primary emotion, the feeling at the root of your reaction is, so that you can take an action that is most helpful. . -
Research Update -- October 10, 2019
Research Update -- October 10, 2019 What’s Here: ● Communicating With Leadership: Behavioral Health and HIPAA in the Field. ● Longitudinal Associations between Sleep, Intrusive Thoughts, and Alcohol Problems Among Veterans. ● An Attempt to Identify Reproducible High-Density EEG Markers of PTSD during Sleep. ● Cortical hyperarousal in NREM sleep normalizes from pre- to post- REM periods in individuals with frequent nightmares. ● A Longitudinal Investigation of Military Sexual Trauma and Perinatal Depression. ● Risk for suicide attempts among United States Air Force active duty members with suicide ideation: An ecological perspective. ● United States Military Service Members Demonstrate Substantial and Heterogeneous Long-Term Neuropsychological Dysfunction Following Moderate, Severe, and Penetrating Traumatic Brain Injury. ● Combat and Trajectories of Physical Health Functioning in U.S. Service Members. ● Multi-omic biomarker identification and validation for diagnosing warzone-related post-traumatic stress disorder. ● Can Mindfulness Help to Predict Veterans’ Mental Health Service Utilization? ● Incidence of major depression diagnoses in the Canadian Armed Forces: longitudinal analysis of clinical and health administrative data. ● Patterns of Strengths in U.S. Military Couples. ● Opponent Effects of Hyperarousal and Re-experiencing on Affective Habituation in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. ● Leveraging Digital Health and Machine Learning Toward Reducing Suicide— From Panacea to Practical Tool. ● Caring E-mails for Military and Veteran Suicide Prevention: A Randomized Controlled Trial. ● Insomnia symptoms predict the development of post-traumatic stress symptoms following an experimental trauma. ● Suicide prevention: Putting the person at the center. (Editorial) ● The Need for Innovation in Health Care Systems to Improve Suicide Prevention. (Special Communication) ● All-cause mortality in patients with treatment-resistant depression: a cohort study in the US population. -
Empathic Embarrassment Responses While Viewing Romantic-Rejection and General Embarrassment Situations" (2011)
San Jose State University SJSU ScholarWorks Master's Theses Master's Theses and Graduate Research Fall 2011 Empathic Embarrassment Responses While Viewing Romantic- Rejection and General Embarrassment Situations Giuliana Louise Garbini San Jose State University Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.sjsu.edu/etd_theses Recommended Citation Garbini, Giuliana Louise, "Empathic Embarrassment Responses While Viewing Romantic-Rejection and General Embarrassment Situations" (2011). Master's Theses. 4090. DOI: https://doi.org/10.31979/etd.xss5-ebfv https://scholarworks.sjsu.edu/etd_theses/4090 This Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by the Master's Theses and Graduate Research at SJSU ScholarWorks. It has been accepted for inclusion in Master's Theses by an authorized administrator of SJSU ScholarWorks. For more information, please contact [email protected]. EMPATHIC EMBARRASSMENT RESPONSES WHILE VIEWING ROMANTIC-REJECTION AND GENERAL EMBARRASSMENT SITUATIONS A Thesis Presented to The Faculty of the Department of Psychology San José State University In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Master of Arts by Giuliana L. Garbini December 2011 © 2011 Giuliana L. Garbini ALL RIGHTS RESERVED The Designated Thesis Committee Approves the Thesis Titled EMPATHIC EMBARRASSMENT RESPONSES WHILE VIEWING ROMANTIC-REJECTION AND GENERAL EMBARRASSMENT SITUATIONS by Giuliana L. Garbini APPROVED FOR THE DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY SAN JOSÉ STATE UNIVERSITY December 2011 Dr. Arlene G. Asuncion Department of Psychology Dr. Ronald F. Rogers Department of Psychology Dr. Clifton Oyamot Department of Psychology ABSTRACT EMPATHIC EMBARRASSMENT RESPONSES WHILE VIEWING ROMANTIC-REJECTION AND GENERAL EMBARRASSMENT SITUATIONS by Giuliana L. Garbini Empathic embarrassment occurs when an observer experiences embarrassment while viewing another person in an embarrassing situation. -
Miller, Rowland S. TITLE Predicting Susceptibility to Embarrassment: Social Skill Versus Social-Esteem
DOCUMENT RESUME ED 334 531 CG 023 548 AUTHOR Kerschenbaum, Nancy J.; Miller, Rowland S. TITLE Predicting Susceptibility to Embarrassment: Social Skill versus Social-Esteem. PUB DATE Aug 91 NOTE 9p.; Paper presented at the Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association (99th, San Francisco, CA, August 16-20, 1991). PUB TYPE Reports - Research/Technical (143) -- Speeches/Conference Papers (150) EDRS PRICE 14FOl/PC01 Plus Postage. DESCRIPTORS Affective Behavior; *Behavior Theories, College Students; Evaluation; Higher Educations *Interpersonal Competence; Predictor Variables; *Self Esteem; Self Evaluation (Individuals); Social Behavior IDENTIFIERS *Embarrassment ABSTRACT The precise events that cause embarrassability (a chronic susceptibility to embarrassment) have yet to be fully understood. Some theorists argue that embarrassing circumstances cause an acute concern for the manner in which one is being evaluated by others. Other theorists argue that maladroit interaction is the only necessary cause of embarrassment. College students (N=310) provided extensive self-reports of social skill, fear of negative evaluation, self-esteem, self-consciousness, shyness, and negative affectivity. Embarrassability was substantially, positively correlated with fear of negative evaluation, motive to avoid exclusion, and approval motivation. In general, the greater one's concern was about disapproval and rejection from others, the greater one's desire was to be liked and accepted by others, and the greater one's susceptibility was to embarrassment. Generalized concerns for social-esteem were clearly related to embarrassability. However, a global measure of social skill was entirely unrelated to embarrassability. skill at adept interaction was linked to embarrassability as well. This result clearly supports an awkward interaction model. Highly embarrassable people are particularly concerned with doing the right thing, but are less confident that they can do it, than are people who are less embarrassable. -
HOW to MAKE YOURSELF MISERABLE: DISCOVERING the SECRETS to UNHAPPINESS William F
HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF MISERABLE: DISCOVERING THE SECRETS TO UNHAPPINESS William F. Doverspike, Ph.D. Drdoverspike.com 770-913-0506 In the words of the 19th century philosopher focusing on daily hassles, cultivating an John Stuart Mill, “Ask yourself whether you are attitude of resentment, and developing a sense happy, and you cease to be so.” Mill’s of pessimism. observation highlights one of the hidden realities of life: It is in the pursuit of happiness that, paradoxically, we can find unhappiness. Try to change things that cannot be changed. From the sacred texts of antiquity to the Is there a best way to create happiness? journals of modern science, there are several According to psychologist Mihály themes that have been identified as ways to Csikszentmihályi (1990), one of the pioneers in create more unhappiness and greater the field of positive psychology, “My studies of dissatisfaction with life. For those seeking to be the past quarter century have convinced me that miserable, these empirical and spiritual texts there is a way. It is a circuitous path that begins hold the secrets to unhappiness. with achieving control over the contents of our consciousness” (p. 2). Conversely, Practice negative thinking. Historically, the psychological research reveals that people who importance of attitude has been recognized have an external locus of control over their since ancient times. The Greek philosopher lives report more unhappiness, depression, and Epictetus observed, “Men are not disturbed by stress than people who have an internal locus of things, but by the views they take of them.” In control (Benassi, Sweeney, & Dufour, 1988). -
Running Head: SHAME 1 the Significance of Shame: an Adlerian Perspective a Literature Review Presented to the Faculty of The
Running head: SHAME 1 The Significance of Shame: An Adlerian Perspective A Literature Review Presented to The Faculty of the Adler Graduate School _____________________ In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirement for the Degree of Master of Arts in Adlerian Counseling and Psychotherapy ______________________ By John R. Nord ______________________ Chair: Meg Whiston, PhD Reader: Rachelle J. Reinisch, DMFT _____________________ October, 2017 SHAME 2 The Significance of Shame: An Adlerian Perspective Copyright © 2017 John R. Nord All rights reserved SHAME 3 Abstract Shame is a universal affect and emotion which has application within cultures and to individuals throughout the world. It can be considered an aid to learning, teaching, or punishing, and it can also be imposed to control or defeat others. Shame refers to a reaction experience of having violated cultural, community, familial, or individual norms in an unacceptable way and having the hidden, vulnerable self exposed to others against our will. For some individuals, shame can represent a minor impact to their lives and well-being. For others, it can be an all-encompassing, life-threatening problem. Shame can appear as an affect during the course of a child’s normally healthy learning. Problematic shame can originate from a number of sources resulting in unmediated mistaken beliefs from dysfunctional infant/caregiving which are never adequately resolved. Traumatic shame can result from multiple sources including family or peer relationships with repetitive abuse. Any repetitive shaming can unconsciously become an internalized secret. An understanding of pathological shame is indeed critical for evaluating client functioning. Either shame or shame proneness within any societal, familial, or occupational relationship or manifesting within an individual can have far reaching implications and long-term consequences. -
Art and Science Cannot Exist but in Minutely Organized Particulars
Cooley and Goffman on the Ubiquity of Shame Thomas Scheff (6 k words) Abstract. This essay proposes that shame may be one of the hidden keys to understanding our civilization: shame or its anticipation is virtually ubiquitous, yet, at the same time, usually invisible. C. H. Cooley’s idea of the looking glass self implies that shame and pride can be seen as signals of the state of the social bond. Theoretical work by Cooley and Erving Goffman imply ubiquity, and empirical studies by Norbert Elias and by Helen Lewis provide support. Elias’s and Lewis’s findings also suggest that shame is usually invisible; Elias stated this proposition explicitly. Like other emotions, such as fear, shame can be recursive, acting back on itself (shame about shame). In some circumstances, limitless recursion of shame may explain extreme cases of silence or violence. The psychologist Gershen Kaufman is one of several writers who have argued that shame is taboo in our society: American society is a shame-based culture, but …shame remains hidden. Since there is shame about shame, it remains under taboo. ….The taboo on shame is so strict …that we behave as if shame does not exist (Kaufman 1989). Kaufman’s phrase, shame about shame, turns out to have meaning beyond what he intended: just as fear can lead to more fear, causing panic, shame about shame can loop back on itself to various degrees, even to the point of having no natural limit. Recursion of shame will be discussed further below1. Suppose that shame is usually hidden, as suggested by the idea of taboo. -
Embarrassment and the Analysis of Role Requirements Author(S): Edward Gross and Gregory P
Embarrassment and the Analysis of Role Requirements Author(s): Edward Gross and Gregory P. Stone Source: American Journal of Sociology, Vol. 70, No. 1 (Jul., 1964), pp. 1-15 Published by: The University of Chicago Press Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/2775007 . Accessed: 12/06/2014 11:12 Your use of the JSTOR archive indicates your acceptance of the Terms & Conditions of Use, available at . http://www.jstor.org/page/info/about/policies/terms.jsp . JSTOR is a not-for-profit service that helps scholars, researchers, and students discover, use, and build upon a wide range of content in a trusted digital archive. We use information technology and tools to increase productivity and facilitate new forms of scholarship. For more information about JSTOR, please contact [email protected]. The University of Chicago Press is collaborating with JSTOR to digitize, preserve and extend access to American Journal of Sociology. http://www.jstor.org This content downloaded from 137.99.63.107 on Thu, 12 Jun 2014 11:13:00 AM All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions the americanjournal of sociology Volume LXX Number 1 July 1964 Embarrassmentand the Analysis of Role Requirements1 EdwardGross and Gregory P. Stone ABSTRACT Since embarrassment incapacitates persons for continued role performance, it can provide an indicator of basic requirements of role performance. Study of one thousand instances of recalled embarrassment revealed three major requirements: identity, poise, and confidence in established identity and poise. The analysis of identity reveals the significance of adjunct roles and reserve and relict identities. Disturb- ances of poise revolve about the handling of spaces, props, equipment, clothing, and the body. -
The Self-Conscious Emotions
EMOTIONS The Self-Conscious Emotions Michael Lewis, PhD Institute for the Study of Child Development, UMDNJ-Robert Wood Johnson Medical School, Child Health Institute, USA September 2011 Introduction 1 Until recently, the self-conscious emotions have been poorly studied. Little research on their meaning, how they develop, and how individual differences arises have been conducted, even though Charles Darwin 2 discussed them in some detail as far back as his book, The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals. Darwin’s observations were not followed up by neither psychoanalysis nor developmental psychopathology until about 40 years ago. In part, this was due to Freud’s focus on guilt and on the confusion between such self- conscious emotions as embarrassment, guilt and shame. In fact, Darwin’s observations and theorizing were not able to differentiate these different self-conscious emotions, in large part due to his measurement of the self- conscious emotions, where he used blushing behaviour. While blushing is a useful behaviour to measure, many people do not blush. Moreover, blushing is a measure of self reflection in the presence of other people, most noticeable embarrassment, but is not a measure of all the other self-conscious emotions such as shame, guilt or pride. While Darwin recognized the role of a person’s thoughts, especially around the emotion of embarrassment, he did not use cognitive capacities as a way to differentiate between them. Subject Michael Lewis, in his studies of the origins of the self-conscious emotions, makes the point that to understand the ontogenesis of these emotions in children, it is necessary to consider the cognitive development of the child 3,4 which likely give rise to them. -
Emotional Blackmail
Emotional Blackmail In a wonderful book “50 Psychology Classics”, the author, Tom Butler Bowdon, writes on psychologist Susan Forward and emotional blackmail. There are parallels to “Corporate Greenmail” – an abhorrent practice used by people who are completely insecure. “If you have ever done something you did not want to, but felt you had to in order to preserve a relationship. It is not until you read Susan Forward's bestselling Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You that you realize how pervasive emotional blackmail may be. The actual playing out of blackmail, while worrying on its own, is only indicative of deeper issues in both the blackmailer and the blackmailed. Why does one person feel that threat or intimidation is the only way to get what they want? Why do their victims allow themselves to be victimized? What is emotional blackmail? Most of us have had someone in our lives-be it a spouse, child, or workmate-whom we placate because we don't want to cause trouble in the relationship. Or we may be in constant open conflict with them because we resent the pressure to do something we know is not right for us. An emotional blackmailer can be summed up by the one basic threat of “If you do not do what I want you to, you will suffer.” Because they know us well, they use their knowledge of our vulnerabilities to gain our compliance. In a normal relationship there is a give-and-take balance in which we get what we want some of the time, the other person getting what they want at other times.