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Here Comes the Boom.Pdf Here Comes The Boom by Allan Loeb & Kevin James Revisions by Kevin James, Rock Reuben & Nick Bakay CONFIDENTIAL READER/SENDER NAME: Andrew Dodge \ Shari LaFranchi Blakney White Draft February 25th, 2011 FADE IN: 1 INT. SCOTT’S BACHELOR APARTMENT - MORNING 1 PAN across the messy bedroom: - A collection of WRESTLING TROPHIES and a Division 1 Championship MEDAL. - A framed, black and white PHOTO of a muscular YOUNG MAN posing in a PENN STATE WRESTLING SINGLET. - A FRAMED CERTIFICATE reading: “Teacher of the Year 2004.” WE LAND on a LUMP in bed... this is SCOTT VOSS, 40, our hero. TIGHT ON Scott’s face... sleeping peacefully. He opens an EYE and glances at his ALARM CLOCK on the night stand. It reads: 7:42 am. Scott processes this, then his eyes SNAP OPEN. SCOTT AHHHHHHHHH! No. No. Scott bounds out of bed... 2 EXT. BOSTON STREETS - MORNING 2 In the distance, we HEAR the sound of a screaming engine - - growing LOUDER. An old school TRIUMPH MOTORCYCLE RIPS over a the top of a HILL -- GETTING AIR. Scott’s in the saddle. SCOTT CONFIDENTIALNo. No. No. The motorcycle WEAVES through TRAFFIC. READER/SENDER NAME: Andrew Dodge \ Shari LaFranchi Blakney A DELIVERY TRUCK cut’s Scott off, he skids between cars to avoid it. He accelerates back up to speed. 3 EXT. WILKINSON HIGH SCHOOL -- MORNING 3 Scott approaches a building, but he’s too late -- the GATES to the parking lot are closed. He stops, contemplating his next move. He revs his engine and peels out. 4 EXT. WILKINSON HIGH SCHOOL - NEW FOOTBALL FIELD 4 Scott comes ripping across the Football FIELD dodging the SPRINKLERS as they KICK ON. Scott exits through the GATES into the school. White Production Draft 2/25/11 2. 5 EXT. WILKINSON HIGH SCHOOL - PARKING LOT 5 Scott stops, takes off his helmet and sees... BRUCE BETCHER -- the School Principal, 50s, closing the front doors with his ASST. PRINCIPAL ELKINS 60’s. Principal Betcher hasn’t noticed Scott. He looks at his watch. PRINCIPAL BETCHER Alright lock ‘em up. The doors are closed and locked. Scott breaks into a sprint around the building. 6 EXT. SCHOOL - MOMENTS LATER 6 Scott now runs parallel to the fence that surrounds the school until he finds a HOLE which he rips back. He slides through, passing TWO DELINQUENTS who are behind the school. DELINQUENT Hey Mr. Voss. Scott doesn’t break stride, running towards a DUMPSTER in the distance. 7 INT. BIOLOGY LAB - MOMENTS LATER 7 HANDS pressed on glass, shimmy open a window. Scott’s BACKPACK flies in. Hands grasp the radiator. Scott pulls himself into the BIOLOGY LAB, filled with waiting STUDENTS. He stands up, not realizing that Principal Betcher is sitting, arms folded, at Scott’s desk. SCOTT (to the class) It’s okay, the baby bird’s going CONFIDENTIALto make it, kids. (ultra cheery) READER/SENDERHey, NAME: Mr. Andrew Elkins. Dodge \ ShariWhat LaFranchi brings Blakney you by these parts? As Betcher steps to Scott, and leans in... PRINCIPAL BETCHER I warned you if you were late one more time, I’d dock you a vacation day. SCOTT You were serious about that? PRINCIPAL BETCHER Dead serious. SCOTT Come on, I was teacher of the year. White Production Draft 2/25/11 3. PRINCIPAL BETCHER Ten years ago... SCOTT Closer to eight, but... Principal Betcher picks up a REFLECTIVE VEST off the desk and hands it to Scott... PRINCIPAL BETCHER I’m also giving you bus duty today. Scott deflates. Principal Betcher exits. SCOTT (then, to class) Okay, open your books to whatever we were doing yesterday. A TOUGH KID, named DERRICK chimes in. DERRICK Yesterday was Sunday. SCOTT Whatever. Scott sits at his desk, throws on his SUNGLASSES, reclines and puts his feet up on his desk. SCOTT (CONT’D) Apparently this is now a vacation day, so I’m gonna shut ‘er down. TITLE CARD: “HERE COMES THE BOOM” 8 INT. BIOLOGY LAB - A BIT LATER 8 The class is half working on an assignment, half fooling CONFIDENTIALaround. Scott peruses the SPORTS SECTION. READER/SENDER NAME: Andrew Dodge \ Shari LaFranchi Blakney A student, MALIA, 17, a Filipino girl with cool specs and a pair of HEADPHONES always around her neck, RAISES her hand. MALIA Mr. Voss? Scott HOLDS UP THE PAPER to tune her out. After a beat, she POPS UP over the paper, having approached his desk. MALIA (CONT’D) Mr. Voss? SCOTT (barely audible) Yah? White Production Draft 2/25/11 4. MALIA Our text book says the discovery of Penicillin was the most important biological discovery of the twenty century. SCOTT Okay... MALIA But I read online that the use of anti-bacterial agents actually encourages more potent strains of infections. SCOTT That’s some very advanced college- y stuff. You need to focus on what we’re working on. The magical journey from tadpole to frog. MALIA I finished the worksheet already. Scott PUTS DOWN the newspaper. SCOTT Malia, truth is you’ll probably never use anything you learn in this class anyway. So, if you’re finished, just do me a favor and draw on your desk like Martinez. Malia SIGHS in frustration and heads back to her seat. And Scott sets to return to his paper when he notices something out the window that gets his attention. A tiny LITTLE GUY, probably weighs 90 pounds soaking wet, lugging a huge STAND UP BASS CASE across the field. CONFIDENTIALScott just SHAKES HIS HEAD and returns to his paper. READER/SENDER NAME: Andrew Dodge \ Shari LaFranchi Blakney 9 INT. HALLWAY - LATER 9 Scott, the Reflective Vest in his back pocket, stands at a VENDING MACHINE, puts in some money and makes a selection. The SKEWER that holds the DORITOS, TURNS moving the bag forward, but they DON’T DROP. Scott reacts. SCOTT No, no, no. Not today Scott waits until the coast is clear, then SMACKS the side of the vending machine. Nothing. SCOTT (CONT’D) Come on. Then, Scott steps back and DRIVES HIS SHOULDER into the machine, lifting it off it’s legs. Two bags of Doritos and a sleeve of OREOS DROP. White Production Draft 2/25/11 5. Scott opens the hopper and removes the snacks. He smiles pleased with his score, then notices... A weird looking KID staring at him from a door well. Scott, considers a beat, then THROWS the Kid the Oreos... SCOTT (CONT’D) This never happened. We clear? The Kid nods in agreement, and moves off. Scott hears MUSIC from a nearby room. Wheels turning, Scott crosses into... 10 INT. MUSIC HALL - CONTINUOUS ACTION 10 To find... MARTY STREB, early 60’s, currently conducting the school ORCHESTRA. It’s far from perfect. He’s shouting as he conducts, completely wired... loving every second of it. MARTY Cellos, come in a beat earlier! Flutes, declare yourself -- Mozart wrote his first symphony for his father when he was eight! You guys are twice that age, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Scott sees that little FRESHMAN in the back... the one lugging his stand up bass outside. The Kid has his eyes closed with a smile... lost in his own world, playing away. MARTY (CONT’D) Wait a minute! What’s that I hear? Yes -- the beautiful sound CONFIDENTIALof improvement... play it louder! Playing the PIANO in the front, Malia looks over to Scott READER/SENDERand SMILES. NAME: Andrew Dodge \ Shari LaFranchi Blakney Scott shakes his head at Marty's unbridled enthusiasm. MARTY (CONT’D) You’re ingenious! You’re spectacular! Crescendooooo...! (checking his watch) And you’re done. Music stops on a dime, Marty catches his breath. THE BELL RINGS But the students don’t pack their instruments just yet... no they all look to Marty. MARTY (CONT’D) Right, I almost forgot... the quote of the day. (beat) (MORE) White Production Draft 2/25/11 6. MARTY (CONT’D) I’ll go with Friedrich Nietzsche, rock star philosopher, who said... wait for it... drum roll please... And literally from the back... a drum rolls. The students all LAUGH. MARTY (CONT’D) “Without music... life would be a mistake.” That hangs a beat. Then the Students gather their things and start to leave. MARTY (CONT’D) Practice people. Practice! Marty notices Scott. MARTY (CONT’D) Mr. Voss, what brings you by? SCOTT Heard the music. Sounds great. Listen, is there any chance you could do me a huge-- Marty's cellphone PLAYS A CLASSICAL TUNE. MARTY Sorry -- I’ve been waiting for this. He takes his phone out and reacts to a text. A beat then; SCOTT So... I got bus duty today, but... Marty falls into his chair -- exasperated. CONFIDENTIALSCOTT (CONT’D) I’ve got a little family emergency READER/SENDER-- NAME: and Andrew was kinda Dodge \ wondering...Shari LaFranchi Blakney could you cover for me? I wouldn’t just ask anybody, but I’ve seen the way you handle the whole bus/safety situation. You have a gift. (noticing Marty's state) You alright? MARTY You teach biology -- what are the chances a forty-five year old woman can get pregnant? SCOTT That depends on what she looks like. Scott CHUCKLES, nothing from Marty who’s clearly troubled. White Production Draft 2/25/11 7. SCOTT (CONT’D) Kidding. That’s really more of a fertility question. MARTY I would have guessed... slim. A beat, Scott waits impatiently. MARTY (CONT’D) My wife’s pregnant. You’re the first to know. It’s still early, so please, don’t say anything. SCOTT Oh... of course not. It’s in the vault.
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