The Student Newspaper of Imperial College 15 November 1999 : Issue 1157

Guilds Union forced to cancel again

ANDREW OFORI President Dinesh Ganesarajah explained his intention was to try and The innovation of the City and Guilds keep the students entertained during Union is yet to impress its students, the winter term, viewing this as a forcing them to scale down their lat weakness of Guilds in previous years. est venture. Mr Ganesarajah took the view C&GU intended to take a bus that risks needed to be taken in order load of students to Brighton on Sun to find appropriate entertainment, day 7 November in support of Bo1 saying "The experimental nature of (the Guild's mascot) who was taking the previous events always meant they part in the veteran car run. The held the possibility of being unpopu antique car successfully completed lar to the masses, hence the minimal the journey in 7hours. Unfortunately expenditure." with only 12 people showing any A few Guildsmen still made it to Brighton Photo: Archive He hopes that the combination of interest in the 72 possible places, him to the car run in their Guildsmo- the perimeter fencing and then stood a strong reputation and creative pro

C&GU was unable to justify the cost bile1. It was decided to go ahead if it by as Mr Butt appeared from behind duction will make the upcoming of the coach. could be done legally. They formed a wall and shot at them with a Super- C&G Fresher's Dinner a success. Despite the withdrawal of the bus an alliance With Chris Campbell, the soaker. The event is to be held in Sher trip the Guilds had intended to take a London Student Editor, and arrived at This latest flop comes soon after field on Friday 1 9 November at 7pm. special guest supporter to Brighton Mr Butt's house on Sunday morning, the Star Wars party where only 35 out Tickets are available at Waterstones for the day - the ULU President. They only to learn they had been set up. Mr of a possible 100 tickets were sold and the CCS shop costing £15 for hatched a plot to kidnap and drive Campbell refused to let them through resulting in a loss of £236. C&GU Freshers and £1 7 for other students. Newton sets out plan for an NUS free future for all

SUNIL RAO a bulk discount. The sheer size of Many student unions that disagree December, will present a range of this student market has resulted in with the political stance of the NUS options to the unions, including set Imperial College Union is to host a NUSSL reaching the maximum level are remaining with it because of ting up a "Southern Services" group, conference for independent student of discounting that most suppliers NUSSL. Tasha Newton, ICU Presi or expanding TUCO. Both would unions and those who are consider can provide. However, a student dent, believes that the rate of disaf offer considerable buying power for ing disaffiliating from the National union cannot be a part of NUSSL filiation will rise dramatically as members and be a viable alterna Union of Students, with the aim of without paying a large subscription - soon as a local alternative that is tive to NUSSL. They would also setting up a buying consortium. This if ICU were to join, it would mean demonstrably as good is offered. allow ICU access to greater dis would be an alternative to the paying around thirty thousand ICU buys from a range of sup counts and therefore better value National Union of Students Services pounds annually. pliers including Northern Services goods. Limited (NUSSL), the NUS purchas NUSSL is inextricably mired in (annual fee £25), a consortium set When contacted, Tasha Newton ing group. the politics of the NUS, and it is up to serve the Scottish Universities, commented, "This is potentially Currently, NUSSL provides a impossible to leave the NUS without and TUCO, the College purchasing something really exciting, but my platform to buy beer and other also leaving NUSSL [as described in group. priority will always be getting the goods that student unions require at Them and NUS in Felix 1155]. The conference, to be held on 4 best deals for IC students". 2 News Felix . 15 November 1999 Dawn of the Virtual University?

ANDREW OFORI sity depicted large scale institutes versity) runs its courses in 15 linked to a global information states, 1 00 of them conducted via Advisor Martin Thomson pro A new breed of virtual universities base. Educational institutes will the internet and television. vides some much needed quid- is set to change the face of further develop around digital connec Wall Street has shown an inter education, leaving traditional uni tions and a demand, rendering est in the concept of the virtual versities "well and truly stuffed" existing universities useless. Sixth university, but its commercial via according to 'Universities in the form colleges are predicted to bility is presently limited by regula

Future1. take their place. tions. Sir Alec Broers, the Vice In his book, Michael Thome, Electronic lectures (similar to Chancellor at Cambridge said

We address1 one of the major Vice-Principal of Napier University, those currently underway in the "unless their government allows issues of the day in the way that discussed the vulnerability of Med School) will put an end to the them [universities] to operate as only Felix can. British universities. Virtual universi face to face sessions and tutorials publicly traded corporations, their ties will offer students tailored will be a combination of video growth will be limited by lack of learning where and when it is conferencing and e-mails. capital and... by their inability to Itlnion required, jeopardising the reputa Coursework will be carried out generate maximum performance tion of Britain's Universities. online. by providing them with the oppor "The image of the isolated A number of US universities tunity to build personal wealth Once again it's C&G Union's computer buff is no longer realis have already taken the first steps through stock options". The former tic" commented the chief executive towards this method of teaching, principal of Strathclyde University, and why they exist. of the Scottish Higher Education Wester University has 15 000 stu Sir Graham Hills was among those Funding Council, Professor John dents at 64 locations and the unconvinced by this new era, ask 0gMwts§m p;:4;!^ip:''":-; --;:: : : Sizer. Southern Regional Electronic ing "What would we do with all the One view of the virtual univer Campus (Similar to the Open Uni professors?" leiephene; con'rous and politics

seem to he the 1 of the day. In Brief

SUMMER BALL CHAIR ing that time he oversaw the intro tative body for the leaders of all The postbag'S'back up to it's nor FINALLY ELECTED duction of IC's first Summer Ball. Britain's Higher Education institu

mal i " " 11 - He promised to keep ticket levels tions) looks set to effectively veto Last Tuesday's meeting of Imperi below £50, and hinted that the government's new plans for al College Union Council saw the Alexandra Palace is now almost post 1 6 education, with Vice Pres election process for this year's certain to house this year's Ball. ident Roderick Flaud suggesting ICU Summer Ball Chair reach a We'll bring you further develop that "it is very unlikely that we will successful conclusion. After a ments as they happen. require any of the new qualifica I wo major films - Fight Club and string of no-shows and failures to tions for entry to higher educa Sixth Sense - receive ihe officio! find any willing candidates, two tion". If colleges and universities Felix ma\ of quality. Union members eventually put CVCP BLOCK NEW refuse to accept the new A-level their names forward, with Andy QUALIFICATIONS alternatives then it is believed that Heeps the run-away winner. Mr there will be no desire from Heeps was ICU President in the The Committee of Vice-Chancel schools or students to implement 1 997-98 academic year, and dur lors and Principles (the represen the new scheme.

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L- ii i'i:ng to get repsBtive;, 15 November 1999 . Felix News 3 ICU Careers Fair Pugwash lecture

THE NEWS TEAM ment in the near future. PATRICK BRANNAC weapons. This is the biggest independ Dr Hassard argued that if dra For all final year students there are ent careers fair in the country, and Student Pugwash continued its series matic changes to the climate did few more stressful things in life is a valuable chance to check out of lectures with a talk given by Dr occur over a time scale of years, than traipsing around a seemingly a wide range of different opportu John Hassard from Imperial Col then nuclear energy could be a endless succession of companies, nities. Companies attending lege's Physics department. The title short-term solution, halting the trying to find yourself that career include a cross section of the of the lecture was 'Will Climate increase in CO2 levels in the atmos opportunity that helps to make management, technical, financial Change Drive Nuclear Prolifera phere until renewable energy three or more years at IC worth and consulting world, with Ander tion?' and it focused on whether sources become viable. Nuclear while. sen Consulting, Arthur Andersen, nuclear energy could provide a solu proliferation need not result, provid To save you at least some of PriceWaterhouseCoopers, Gold tion to the threat of global warming. ing the reactors are designed to the hassle, the Union organises an man Sachs, Deloitte Consulting, If CO2 produced from fossil minimise the weapons grade materi annual Careers Fair where the NatWest IT, Oxygen Solutions Ltd, fuels is causing a substantial al produced. Nuclear accountancy cream of Europe's biggest corpo Cambridge Technology Partners, increase in global temperature, one could be sufficiently reliable to rate and graduate recruiters come Ricardo, Ove Arup, Lehman obvious solution would be to use an ensure that there is no increase in directly to you. So, if you want to Brothers, Rolls Royce, The Army, energy source that puts out no CO2, the availability of such material to see what to see what almost fifty of Chase Manhattan Bank and over such as nuclear. A problem with despotic regimes. Europe's best graduate employers forty others, as well as the College nuclear energy is that it produces The next lecture to be held is have to offer you, all you need to Careers Service. material that, especially when 'Verifying Nuclear Disarmament: A do is turn up at Beit Quad this If you want a job this year or reprocessed, can be used to build Role For AWE Aldermaston' by Tom Wednesday (17 November) next year there's only one place to nuclear weapons. This manifests Milne on 2 December at 1 pm. If you between 11am and 5pm and start, so make sure you visit the itself in nuclear proliferation, are interested in the implementation they'll be keen to talk to you. You Careers Fair on Wednesday. because nearly every country in the of ethics in science, then come don't need to be a final year stu Details about the companies world would have their own factories along to the societies weekly meet dent or have any particularly attending are available from the pumping out material, which has up ings held every Thursday at 1 pm in strong goals or career plans, just Union Office and the College until now been the major limiting the BCR (top floor of the Union the desire to find yourself employ Careers Service. factor in the making of nuclear building).

Practice your case study interview technique and get a head Mitchell start on applying to one of the top management consulting firms! Madison roup Mitchell Madison Group are looking for final year students to participate in an interviewer A USWeb/CKS Company training day on Friday December 3rd, 1999

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BY MARTIN THOMSON, graphs, it can be very hard to lord, simply notifying him/her of .cash flowj UNION ADVISOR argue a case. the problem. Keep a copy and c If anything breaks while you make sure it is dated. The reason It's boring I know but if you haven't are in the property through wear for this is that if the landlord were done it this term, make sure you set ^ working in the ukj and tear (a chair, an appliance etc) to refuse to do the repair and you yourself a budget for the next. Bud you must write to the landlord and had to take further action, a court geting is as simple as dividing your Many international (non European) notify them of this. Otherwise when would not expect the landlord to termly income into weeks, and then students may still be unaware that you leave you may face deductions know about the problem until you subdividing into the things that you as long as they don't have an entry from your deposit. can show that you brought it to need and the things that you want. clearance stamp which states that Similarly, if something is in their attention. If a landlord does We're working on revising and they are prohibited from working, reprinting our Financial Guide they can now work for up to 20 which will have more information hours per week in term time, or full on budgeting. If you need any help time in the vacations. This is in working out a budget, get in because the government gave what touch. they described as "blanket permis Access funds are available now sion" to all students who have the for home students from the Student restriction stamp in June of this Finance Office, room 335 Sher year. (The restriction stamp is the field. Look out for the notices one that says that you need to get around College. There are also permission from the Secretary of limited hardship funds for interna State for Employment before you tional students and the City and can work). Therefore, you can work Guilds, Royal College of Science, in the Union or in College, you can and Royal School of Mines all have take up summer placements or do Constituent College Association any other kind of work without Hardship Trusts which might be needing to go through any further able to give some help to students bureaucracy (apart from getting a in genuine and unexpected hard National Insurance numberl). ship. Fundraising is very difficult for Some employers are still confused students who have started a course by the changes, however, so if you without adequate funding, but it is experience any difficulties please usually possible to get at least some contact me. The situation for work help for those who are in the last six ing after graduation is still the same months of a course and facing and work permits are required. It unexpected difficulties. can be possible to stay on for a Christmas is a great time for year or so to get work experience or racking up credit debts. There is a to do some training but this won't lot that can be done to manage allowed you to switch over to a full credit debts when things become work permit. Let me know if you hard to cope with and this includes have any questions. getting help arranging affordable repayment plans with creditors and holding off court action. If you find .housing^ yourself with multiple credit debts C and you are juggling one debt to You'll have to forgive me for going need of repair, there are two steps not carry out repairs within a rea pay for the other then please come on about housing, and I hope that you must take. Firstly, check your sonable time, they are in breach of and see me. The Advice Service everyone is reasonably settled into tenancy agreement to see whether contract. assists people with debt problems in their accommodation at this point. or not the landlord can end it early. If, for whatever reason, you are a strictly impartial and non-judge I think that a couple of things This can only be done if the land thinking of leaving your accommo mental manner. I'm here to help, are worthy of reminder; firstly, if lord has a "break clause" in dation early, it is essential that you not to lecture. you did not get an inventory taken his/her favour, and this is not a check your legal position. Even when you moved in, you should standard clause. If there is a break though you might have a morally have done one yourselves. If you clause, this should have an impact good reason for moving out, this contact haven't done this, do it now and on your negotiating position may not release you from your c take photographs of the property because you may want to be as contract. If you break a contract, To make an appointment to call in so you can show what it was like in nice to the landlord as possible landlords can (and sometimes do) for a confidential chat about any the event of a dispute when you while getting the repair done. If sue former tenants, especially problem, big or small, call Union leave. Landlords do often keep there is no break clause and you when they have guarantors. It is Reception on 0171 594 8060, deposits claiming that students are, for example, secure in your also sometimes possible for your contact me directly on internal have caused damage. If you leave flat until the end of term, the first co-tenants to sue you if you break extension 48067, or email without an inventory or photo thing to do is to write to your land- your contract and they lose money. [email protected]. ICII presents

The wsa

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COMPANY INFORMATION DROCHORE NOW FROM ICO AND THE CAREERS OFFICE 6 Feature Felix 15 November 1999

Nothing toifb with me? The nature of scwKific responsibility

ngage any group of scientists or engineers incredibly complex) problem. trust based or even Imperial College of Science, in discussion over any ethical, political or To use a reasonably recent example, if you Technology and Medicine. And most backers will sociological issue and you're sure to hear are on the verge of discovering the terminator have funded your research from profit driven, not E the mantra "knowledge for knowledge's gene for GM modified crops, should you follow altruistic, motives, so the likelihood of them lis sake" repeated more than once. The insinuation is through your research. On one hand, you'll gain tening to your moral judgements is slim to say the that pure research is free from any outside influ prestige, cash and the foundations for GM least. Even if the most dangerous aspects of your ences or concerns, that it is driven by a desire to research that could change the world for the bet discoveries are entirely accidental (they frequently understand, not by global impact or implication. ter. On the other hand you'll develop a crop that are) your backers will still want to maximise their But is this true? Can scientists and engineers deny could destroy many third world economies and profits (because, if nothing else, they will only be responsibility for their work, or must they share give one producer an incredibly dangerous able to finance future R & D if your developments blame and culpability along with credit? monopoly. So, do you go ahead and give Mon prove marketable). The most obvious (and cliched) example is santo the fruits of your research, or do you lock So, does all that mean that the scientific com obviously the Manhattan Project. Years later, everything in a darkened cupboard? Well, some munity can deny all responsibility for the results of many of the leading figures on the project accept of you are probably thinking that you should (and it's work? The problem is that, if taken too far, ed that what they did, what they created, changed maybe would) take the moral highground and bin logic of this kind can remove the weight of the face of the world - indeed it would be easy to your work. But hang on, if you don't do it, you responsibility from everyone. If the scientist is not argue that the invention of the atomic bomb inti know full well that a group of US researchers in responsible for designing the invention, the man mately shaped the history and politics of the entire Chicago are only a few months behind you, and ufacturer cannot be responsible for building it, or second half of the twentieth century. Yet some they'll probably have given the gene to their the Chief Executive for deploying it. So we are left would still say that what they were engaged in was backers by the end of the year... So is there ever to hang the blame on the poor guy at the bottom still a research based programme (attempting to any point in trying to control your research, or with his finger on the big red button or the syringe harness atomic energy for the first time), and thus should you always follow through on your work to - but surely he's just obeying orders? Ultimately, the responsibility lies not with Oppenheimer and the greatest possible extent? Well, do you really everyone must accept their share, because all his team, but rather with President Truman and his think that if the scientists engaged in the Manhat have had a chance to make a difference, yet military advisors, who authorised the dropping of tan Project had followed through on their threat none have. You could block the use of your inven the bomb. and walked out on the US government in 1944 tion, by one means or another, and if you choose In actual fact, the Manhattan Project high the H bomb would never have happened? No, of not to then with that choice you accept responsi lights the real problem with scientific responsibili course not - someone would have made the bility. ty - if you see the impending implications of your breakthrough (although quite possibly not for As a final note, there's one interesting sidebar research, should you stop your work, despite the many years) and who's to say that they would to my main example, the Manhattan Project. In (seeming) certainty that someone else will reach have been any more cautious with their inven the fifty four years since the bombs were dropped, the same discoveries within the next few years? In tion? almost everyone involved in the programme has this case, their desire to design the bomb was The real problem, then, is the fact that you expressed sorrow and remorse for what they did - driven by the threat of the German's constructing will be labelled with the responsibility (whether the scientists, the pilot, the man who opened the one first (whether or not there ever was actually you choose to take it or not) for your discoveries, bomb bay doors - with one key exception - the US any chance of a Nazi atomic bomb is a whole dif and yet you really have no say over them. The government. Interpret that as you will... ferent discussion). Although this is a very extreme way research is funded means that there will Comments and feedback are very welcome - example, it's still a single example of a much always be someone else out there with a say in email [email protected]. more widespread (and, from a moral standpoint, your invention, be they governmental, corporate, DAVID ROBERTS London Transport Student Photocard 1999/2000

ICU WILL STOP ISSUING DISCOUNT CARDS

THIS FRIDAY (NOVEMBER 19th)

Cards will be available from Union Reception from 9.30 5.30 every day this week

Don't forget that you need one passport sized photo, your College Registration

form and £3 (cash or cheque)

Computer Shop Level 4 Mechanical Engineering Building Ext. 46953 9.30am - 5.00pm

[email protected]

Prices @ http://www.cc.ic.ac.uk/admin/shop/

, BLANK CD OFFER 25 CD's in a PLASTIC CASE P only £25.00

Prices Include VAT - Available whilst stocks last 8 Union Felix 15 November 1999

reengineering (he THE CITY & GUILDS COLLEGE UNION SECTION What is way you think City & Guilds College Union?

CGCU are back - this time to answer the one big question that students want an answer to...

or the ordinary Joe Bloggs don Bleu of Engineering" David been an excellent commodity in that strolls down the walk Bishop, City & Guilds Coiiege life. Guildsheet is the student F way, the thought of City & Union President 1965/1966. publication for CGCU, and as Guilds College Union seems to such provides a humourous alter bring up one guestion above all City & Guilds College Union native medium, reporting on the else - what is it? There is little Reengineering The Way You Think activities of CGCU as well as understanding in the general stu entertaining the C&G College dent populous of what City & City & Guilds College Union students. Guilds College Union is, or what (CGCU) is the student union for Our events grow from it does. If you are one of these C&G College. As such, it repre strength to strength. Atlantis - The unenlightened souls, hold tight to sents this engineering portion of C&G Freshers Dinner, the annual these pages, read on and prepare the students in Imperial College. hit extravaganza returns this to be illuminated. Your academic year representa week, and future events are all set tives are just one face of City & to be grade A standard. A taster, City & Guilds College Guilds College Union. These stu to give reassurance, is the London The Cream of Imperial dents represent your interests at a Boat Race in February, where local level in your degree, raising Guilds face UCL, Kings and any City & Guilds College is concerns in that year group. other London college that wants Imperial College's Constituent CGCU also has Departmental to be involved in a massive 100 College for the engineering pro Representatives, who will raise pint Boat (drinking) Race. fession. Hence all students in issues which are not dealt with at As a Union, we also aim to do C&G College are on a degree a local level, or those that affect a more. In recent years we have that is engineering focused, as department as a whole. The added to our artillery of services. opposed to medical, environmen CGCU Academic Affairs officer CGCU Buddies, the system for tal or scientific. What does this co-ordinates with the Departmen pairing up new fresher students mean? As an example, science tal Representatives to raise mat with older students from the seeks to uncover new laws of ters insufficiently dealt with at a department to help freshers settle nature. The science degrees opti local level at the highest levels of into university life was a success mise this. Engineering seeks to college, and to bring to the fore in its pilot year on ISE and Civil solve client based problems with issues that effect the C&G Col Engineering, and is set to be in given constraints. All engineer lege engineers as a whole. expanded to the rest of C&G Col ing degrees, i.e. those of City & Your Departmental Society is lege for the next intake. The Guilds College, are focused the face of CGCU that you will Internship Centre is in the CGCU production line, and will ultimate around this implementation orien see on a more day to day basis. ly be a place where students seek tated approach. The type of stu These societies represent the spe ing summer vacation work can dent on a C&G College degree is cific interests of your department come by and apply for jobs rele also different to that of a student socially as well as in arranging vant to their degrees. CGCU in any other constituency. C&G activities that are an extension of Active is the new "society exten College students come, to Imperi your degree. Extraordinary Soci sion" of the CGCU Executive al with an A Level points average eties such as the C&G Motor Committee, allowing you to get of almost 29. This is over one Club, C&G Rugby Club and involved in the particular running point more than the average Eestec provide opportunities to of a certain area of CGCU, as medic or scientist, and several explore your engineering interests such allowing you to do more and points more than the average as a whole, or to become getting more of what you want miner. Because of the lucrative involved in representing the engi from CGCU. nature of the C&G College neering identity of C&G Coiiege. degrees, since they are orientated CGCU also has strong links CGCU is a Union that is towards industry, C&G College with the CGCA, the corporate evolving to meet the needs of its students also earn more when association of C&G College for students, and as the Millennium they leave college than the aver past and present member of C&G approaches, it will continue to age medic, scientist or miner. College. The CGCA provides net become bigger and better. "Ready Hence C&G College is distinctly working opportunities - the to play a prominent part in the different to the other constituen opportunity to meet and know advancement of the University" cies. "When you enter industry, people in industry and elsewhere. Guilds Union, as described by your degree represents the Cor "Having contacts" has always The Central in 1910. 15 November 1999 Felix Union 9 The State of the Union

State of the Union By Tasha Newton, Imperial College Union President IC student who contracted meningitis After consultation with one IC nearer the start of term. I have sent male (who said this column made massively high charging - ahhh. individual branches have extra cards him a card on behalf of all the stu me sound 'blonde') I am trying to They care in fact so much that they to issue to non NUS colleges, unfor dents of Imperial College Union. sound a bit more 'nails' this week! are prepared to wait until December tunately, the local branch's Saturday to discuss us at their next pricing staff are slow to get the message and - This Week's Union Meetings - CHESA meeting!! Still the Imperial College have been demanding NUS ID. After I don't need to explain again why Union President is not letting them a very guick discussion with the man Tue 16th Nov we are not NUS, Dave Roberts did it forget that 'student discount' means from HQ, this has all now been sort 12.00 Services Committee, well last time. Besides he is far more discounts for students and has sug ed with: a memo to ALL branches to Clubs Committee Room. friendly about the backstabbing gits gested they remove their digit from be nice to us and 300 cards which 13.00 A&E Treasurers meeting, that run it than I could ever be. We're their lower sphincter. They will now are winging their way to ICU as I Resource Centre. out and it's good for us. We're not decide at the meeting whether they speak! HMV have also offered their 1 7.00 VP Question time for the alone in thinking this - other Unions can allow our cards direct or whether sincere apologies. HMV discount medics. St Mary's. have left, some never joined! In pre they want to produce a card which cards should be available from the 20.00 CAG Soup run, meet in vious years there have been ideas on we could hand out for them. (That Union office this week, hurrah. Weeks Hall getting us together as a cohesive was my idea, and you'll believe that unit. For the first time ever (we think) until you read the next paragraph.) Voting for the GLA Wed 1 7th Nov They fully apologise for any incon we met up last weekend for training Democracy! Register to vote so 11.00 Careers Fair, Beit Quad. venience and understand if none of and talks. The most exiting thing was you can choose who runs London for 13.00 Academic Afairs Commit the suggestion that Northern Services you guys choose to go to Warner's in the time you are here as a student. It tee. (a buying consortium which we use, the near future. In the mean time they couldn't be easier, just email me and but that is based in Scotland) could take ISIC cards, which are available I'll send you a copy of the slip or pick Thur 18th Nov provide a new southern division. This from STA on the walkway. Can I point up a post card from the office. ULU 12.30 RCC Treasures meeting, could lead to some even better bar out that Virgin are IC friendly and will be organising hustings for the Resource Centre. gains for ICU. cheaper?! candidates, so if you are interested in 18.00 Executive Committee, what your mayor will do (or not) for Resource Centre. Wamer Brothers update HMV you, watch this space. 20.00 CAG Soup run. Allegedly, Warner Brothers care This year HMV have been dis about IC students. They are really tributing discount cards, for ALL stu Meningitis update Fri 19th Nov sorry that they don't give us a dis dents. They have been sent out via At the time this went to press 1 3.00 SCC Treasurers meeting, count at the moment and for their the NUS to be issued 'in House'. But, things were going much better for the Resource Centre.

Student Rights as Consumers / Student Debt NATIONAL DEMO 25th November 1999 From ULU to Kennington Park Assemble outside ULU at 11:00 If you have a disability making it difficult to get to ULU and back from Kennington Park, contact Kevin (DP(E&W)) on x.58064 or [email protected] to arrange a place on the minibus.

Event organised by NUS and ULU, supported by /'CU. 10 Feedback Felix 15 November 1999

SLIDING TO SAFETY which is also available. Kevin is watching the network will be far from comprehensive. movies, because as part of the deal there is an Excuses are already reaching Kevin. For exam This week Kevin has been in Nottingham. option to choose between free sports, or free ple: IC's halls are old, some of them are about While in Queen's Medical Centre; a hospital movies when you sign up. As an added bonus to be sold, or refurbished so it is not worth which is also the home of various biological the service also gives free calls to all the other connecting them - apparently even Southside and medical faculties, Kevin noticed that there NTL users in the area, which unsurprisingly is not going to be in the first phase of connec were curved black plastic doors in the corners covers pretty much all students in Nottingham. tions. There are also supposedly difficulties at of many of the labs. On asking as to the pur One student's comment summed up the bene IC because we have got so many disparate pose of the doors Kevin learnt that they were fits of the system: " We all use it loads. It costs campuses, and our students are spread out all escape routes - not just your standard fire exit, us hardly anything." over London. but amazingly cool chutes, which in an emer In Kevin's opinion all these excuses could gency you could use to slide down to the be applied to some degree at the University of ground floor and to safety. Nottingham, but there the students have been provided with a first rate service, for a very rea sonable cost. FREE MOVIES Mish

During his time in Nottingham, Kevin stayed in OUCH a house with a bunch of students. Kevin was pleasantly surprised to find that his hosts had Surely intelligent IC students do not walk into got cable TV and was able to spend a couple Mash glass doors and bash their heads on huge steel of evenings watching Sky Movies. Later in the A Mostly Harmless Column by staircases. However Kevin has noticed steps week Kevin learnt that the movies were in fact Kevin, a random entity who have been taken to make the edges of the free, courtesy of the telecommunications com knows nothing about nothing staircase in the BMS foyer more visible, a sim pany NTL. NTL> has an agreement with the ilar approach has been taken with the glass University to provide a service to the campus, doors in the Health Centre which have also halls of residence, and students living else ERICSSON EXCUSES been marked. Kevin can only presume that where in the city. In return for being the sole these measures have been taken in response telecommunications provider, the University, Ericsson, the company chosen to provide com to incidents - perhaps this year the Freshers are on behalf of the students have been able to munication services for IC is not going to come a more dopey bunch than usual. negotiate a brilliant deal with NTL. For a close to the level of excellent student orientat monthly rental, which is comparable to that ed service as is provided at Nottingham. At IC charged for a BT 'phone, students get a the system is going to be expensive. The To comment or contribute: 'phone, an answering service, and cable TV. charges are going to be partially hidden in hall http://come.to/mishmash Connection to the college network is an extra rents, calls will not be particularly cheep, and or email [email protected] Worn*

Oh my god! ICU's gone all politi that ICU suddenly does, thanks to "right" people on, and you can position previously occupied by cal on us. Before you all get a little prod from equal opportuni force ICU to blow great big Jack Straw, Steven Twigg, Jim Mur alarmed, Tony hasn't selected this ties officer George Constantinides. wodges of cash on virtually any phy and Lorna Fitzsimmons. Just year's sabbs to sit in the "all new" And it's this sudden about-face thing you like. Thus, there is like them, he's using it as a step House of Lords (we should be so that worries me. absolutely NO connection ping stone into parliament. The lucky) ; instead I'm referring to While it's true that over the between certain new members of only difference between him and ICU Council's decision actually to years ICU Council has been reli council this year, and ICU "decid them is that they voted against support something (well, there's a ably as dull as the proverbial dish ing" to spend your money on tuition fees while students, waiting first time for everything). water, it has meant that things can advertising the NUS march against until they were in government before becoming hypocritical and And what is to be the event be discussed reasonably, and tuition fees. Oh no. two-faced. I'm telling you, Trainer which causes council to lose its (shock) that meetings can be rela After all, this particular horse will go far. collective political virginity? Why, tively quick and clear. The NUS, bolted 18 months ago, so how the NUS national demonstration on the other hand, has been con much good is it going to be to And the moral of this story? against tuition fees. Of course. sistently stuffed full of the kind of march into London now, shouting When groups purporting to repre Hang on : tuition fees are bad, loonies that make Red Ken look "here horsey horsey" ? Let's not sent students start playing in the aren't they? We should be rejoic like Himmler. It is for precisely this forget that this march is being murky world of politics, they soon ing in the streets, shouldn't we? reason that ICU has traditionally organised by the same group sell their credibility for a few coins. Well, maybe yes and maybe no : hated the NUS with a passion of which helped Tony to unlock that Those members of ICU Council let's wait and see.... Oh, sorry, I which Gary Glitter would be very stable door. who lust after a more political mean "prepare and decide". proud. Thinking about it, though, it's forum should learn the lesson of While I don't want to get into The point is that Council gets not that surprising. Doug Trainer Straw and his mates : Abandon the tuition fee argument, it seems its way, whatever it wants. Get the was NUS president back then : a morals, all ye who enter here. RECRUITING NOW!

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FELIX ISLAMOPHOBIA? Jews. funded entirely by our current and What we can expect from Felix, former members, and are open to SSIl IISJ Dear Sir, however, is clear reporting which all members of IC - everyone is very breaks down stereotypes rather than welcome to all CU events. Imagine if Hitler had claimed to strengthening them. Islam is now the The CU aims to uphold Biblical Mimm Stuff be a Christian. Imagine if he had second most widely practised reli Christianity, so it is essential that this claimed that Nazi views and polcies gion in Britain (and indeed the rest is upheld by the society officers. For -De. 1 1 were Christrian teachings. Would we of the world). Followers come from this reason all our officers sign a I,, hrjii refer to him (or other fascists) as all walks of life and it is neither widely accepted declaration of faith, Christian fundamentalists, fanatics fanatical nor exteremist. Its mes which is why we are not currently an N f; ws And AW ()f o r ] or extremists? Almost certainly not sage, however, is often distorted by ICU society. because we know that fascist think some people claiming to be Mus

ii, Paul ing goes against true Christian lims for their own political ends Peter Middleton Science Vacant teaching and thus that his claims to (especially when an ignorant body Christian Union President Fiji::,,' be Christian were false. of people can be exploited). I trust film,..' Helen Clork So why is that Felix has decided that Gareth Morgan will, in future, '3 ir-c-s 1 '.'AM 1,1 Mark to insult the some 300 Muslim stu make a more appropriate choice of VOICE OF REASON RETURNS jciii k & B 1 R01 dents and staff at IC by declaring on words when describing extremist

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i'iiatY Tom l.cggctt ic" fundamentalists? These and Hating ding-dong battles on the other wacko groups may well be Yours faithfully, letters page as I do, I'll be brief. "fundamentalist", "extremeist" or Mustafa Arif Breakpoint, this is my final word "fanatical" but the message they ISE 1 before they nail the lid back down convey is not Islamic. on my coffin. Firstly, the medics did

,1 >i! ' : .. 1. .,!..< , Of course, while we might read my column, which is why so ! ' ' Mf rtir, deserve an apology, we probably WATERSTONES SURVEY many of them took offence. Second ' Iran iom can't expect one. After all, the Run- ly, the Union fed me remarkably lit Lsggst*, Yasmin Ahmad, Gus nymede Trust in 1997 published a Dear Felix, tle information- false or otherwise- i-iarojah detailed report on the endemic over the course of my time; while

! '.MM , , i 1 '.'I, ,11 & nature of Islamopbobia in the British I would like to start another dis members of Sherfield will sing like L> '1s . . media and has set up a commission cussion. Waterstones is a wonderful canaries, getting juicy titbits out of to monitor it. Virtually a day goes by shop which gets all the books the most of ICU is much less simple. without some newspaper report of students need and on time too / Thirdly, my letter, if you recall, mere ' ' '"n 11 !( I [' I ,IKll, some dodgy group claiming to be Waterstones is a terrible shop which ly stated that attacks on the Union Islamic who are then portrayed as gets massive advantage of being on should be undertaken cautiously, not such. Holywood films such as True campus and yet gives nothing in avoided entirely. For me to claim Hel Lies (which portray Muslims as ter return. that the Union should not be rorists) don't help much either. The attacked in Felix is about as believ average Briton's steoretype of a [* Delete as applicable. Game on.] able as George Best being a front- Muslim is an Arab or Asian branding man for Alcoholics Anonymous. a kalashnikov out to kill all the Jew Cheers, Finally, I have never been in the ish people they can find. M I/:,' Tasha, pocket of any Union official. I may In fact, Islamaphobia is not just ICU President have got on amicably with several of

i ' ' :, M , a British phenomenon but a world them, but then I have had a pint with MM,,, i -:. „'.:(.:!, ,W/ ^KB wide problem. So much so that it Ian Caldwell. Nuff said. i MMMM MM ffiij/V has enabled people like Solbodan CHRISTIAN UNION I shouldn't really be writing this. : .M.;, M^M'M- ' 594 8072 Milosevic to exploit public sentiment It doesn't offend me, but it was a tad M ' , , 111- 'helix by gaining popular support, in their Dear Felix, wide of the mark. Last week's col 'ail: "fell: own country, for "ethnic" cleansing umn was very good, though if you of Muslims in Bosnia and Kosova. Following last week's front page meet me down Southside, I'll tell you We now see Russian leaders exploit article, I would like to set the record who the real frontrunner is for the ing their own citizens' Islamaphobia straight on the position of the Chris Rector's job. Heeps was close, but Union Media Group and is in exactly the same way to gain sup tian Union towards membership of the preferred choice is a little more printed at MCP Litho Limited, port for slaughtering more Muslims Imperial College Union. surprising. Jnits B2 & B3, Hatton Square, in Chechenya. These practices are, The Christian Union at Imperial Good night and God bless 16 - 16a Baldwins Gardens, of course, very similar to those used College is entirely run by IC stu London EC1N 7RJ by Hitler in Germany to gain popu dents, and is affiliated with CUs at Simon Baker lar support for the persection of most other UK Universities. We are Chem PG

:elix is a registered newspaper; ISSN 1040 - 071 1 The deadline for letters intended for publication is Wednesday 12 noon - drop into the porta- Copyright i Felix 1999- cabins or email [email protected]. Letters may be edited for length but not grammar or spelling. 15 November 1999 Felix Feedback 13

the staff seemed more interested in STUDENT BODIES ignoring the request for fear of stick ing more price tags on t-shirts. On Dear Editor, the Monday before graduation, I was told the graduation items would Oof t©Li /cll^ We were offended by the article be included in stock and visited in last week's In Brief on page two of again but to no avail but was told Felix. The author suggested that no- sanctuary was available on the day LATENT MEDIA BIAS rvice that would act as one at IC 'had it in them' when in the Union with a little stall. No nal academic flagship referring to the Maths couple caught such luck - it was only T-shirts and First of all this week, a massive o and a half years after in flagrante delicto in their locker mugs. apology to Mustafa Arif and any opened, where do we room. How can a simple card like one else who found last week's elves? Well, aside from Does the Editor not think it is graduation be omitted from stocks front page lead to be offensive. demeaning to the students here at at Graduation time? If I wanted to Mustafa raises an interesting pint JS now been unceremo- IC to have their own student news buy a card from ICU shop on prac that applies not just to so-called umped in favour of one paper put them down as unadven- tically any other subject, I could do "Islamic" fundamentalists but, on turous when we already have to put so, even if I wanted to make inde a broader canvass, to any form up with insults from the rest of the cent proposals I could do so from of supposedly religion-based country's student body? the vast collection available! Let terrorism or extremism. After all, enough books. Now, l m sorry, We assure you that this is not a other IC students join in the celebra to the best of my knowledge, but it seems to me that if you're solitary example and the maths cou tion of their peer's excellence at there is no major religion on the running a bookstore on a univer ple should not be made a spectacle leaving Imperial and not say, "Oh, planet that actually condones (let sity campus if might be wise to of in a paper with such a wide audi sorry, ICU shop couldn't be assed to alone advocates) the murder of stock sufficient quantities of the ence. stock it " others (non-believers, sinners, core first year text books, if noth Maybe the Editor has heard of whatever) - and yet, throughout ing else. It's patently obvious couples using such places as the Yours faithfully, history, religion has been the that at least three-quarters of the main library, or even the Sherfield ICU Shop's best customer cause of more and bloodier wars new intake will always buy at building for uses other than those than anything or anyone else. least one recommended book the buildings were intended for? So, (to get back to the point) within the first two weeks (and Obviously not. A walk around AND FINALLY... both myself and Gareth apolo then leave it to fester on the shelf campus may open the Editor's eyes gise unreservedly. We term them until they realise, three years to the more exciting aspects of Dear Felix "Islamic" simply because they do later, that they can't remember Imperial College. so themselves, not out of any the Second Law of Thermody I would like to commend you on sense of abuse or discrimination. namics any more) - so why, for Happy hunting, the improvements made within the - indeed the biggest problem pity'sP sake, does Waterstone's RSM II reviews pages this year. The breadth with finding an adequate termi and depth across fhe whole of the nology for these groups is the stock. Of course, whether or not music, clubbing, film, books and fact that it's very hard to find out filling half the shop with fiction SHOP STRIFE arts world is to be applauded. I what they do believe in. and travel titles helps is debat- would especially like to mention the As a final point, I do take the Dear Sir, Blair Witch feature and the diverse suggestion that I am Islamopho- club and art features that have fea bic very personally, but I hope minimum of a service that we It was interesting to be remind ture gay and fetish themes. I was this reply will help to change should expect. A good campus ed of this year's graduation by the therefore appalled when I read the your mind. bookstore would use it's pur account in Felix a few issues ago slating Felix received in Prince Albert chasing power (a few hundred because as well as being the edi this week. Not only were the insults copies might not be much in fic tor's graduation, it was also my ill thought out, but the text content CAMPU tion terms, but in terms of aca friend's. Imagine how joyous this was worse than the childish rants demic texts it's huge) to negoti occasion is: the proud family look that I have sometimes seen in the The various shopping facilities ate good discounts and sensible ing on, the photographs, the pres C&G rag - Guildsheet. The writers offered on campus have been on student prices - much like the old ents and the graduation card with of this magazine obvious have a my mind a lot this week. On the Union Bookstore used to. It "congratulations" inscribed. Not, number of problems, the first is opposite page you'll find com however, if one were to visit ICU being happy to come to an opinion ments on both Waterstone's and- shop. based on nothing less than prejudice the ICU Shop, and in various A week before graduation, I and the second is being obsessed discussions I've had with College (shock, horror) could actually went to buy all the associated mem with rude words (very clever). staff this week, Waterstones and offer some helpful advice. orabilia, i.e. ties, teddies and 'he Computer Centre Shop in So, now I've finished my scarves to remind the graduate of Yours with love Mech Eng have been frequent rant, what do you all think? OK, his past life at Imperial along with a Ben James (not my real name) topics of debate. so the contract might not be up graduation card. Quite a common Medicine 4 All of these services have a occurrence, graduation, especially very powerful position on cam at a college one might be lead to PS. Please put my sleepless nights at pus, perhaps none more so than believe but not one single card was end - who is this amazing girl [see Waterstone's. Having won a very where when it's time to buy the available at the shop. After asking, I editorial, 1156]. I've spent all last prestigious contract nearly three next ludicrously over-priced text was told they might be ordered but week searching for her. years ago (usurping the old

Union bookstore), Waterstonc's Waterstone's, I'm waiting for All complaints should be addressed to the Editor. If no satisfactory promised to establish a well reply is received, contact ICU Exec via the Union President stocked, competitive and profes- ' :::»

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Oh dear. We're only in the Foo Fighters Marian Carey sixth week of a thirty one week year and the backlash There Is Nothing Left To Lose Rainbow against Felix has begun again. Sadly for me, the (Roswell/RCA) (Columbia) reviews section always seems to bare the brunt of this What have your heroes been? Actors? Politicians? Sportsmen and Oh, Mariah, Mariah, Mariah. Back so abuse. However, insults such sportswomen? Outstanding scientists and businessmen? Balls to all soon? I'm not generally of the school of as everything we review is that. My heroes have always been musicians. Not your poncy lack of thought that thinks that if anything is popu unheard of is just plain substance boy bands or those more than useless one-hit-wonders, lar it must by definition be bad, but I heard wrong. If the slanderers had but proper kick-ass don't-give-a-shit stars: Jimmy Page, Kurt Cobain, an interesting statistic the other day that bothered to examine the Jimi Hendrix, Flea - all those with a presence and attitude. The Foo has started to change my mind. It was that review pages of Felix in recent Fighters' Dave Grohl is up there too - he's got to be. From power Mariah Carey is the best selling female weeks they'd have seen inter house drumming with you-know-who, to laying down the Foo Fight artist of the 1 990s, has sold over 1 1 5 mil views, reviews and competi ers' 1 995 debut alone, he's more than just a slightly motivated bloke. lion albums. I mean, who bought these tions involving some of the This latest offering from the Foos is more of that driven power pop albums? Where are they and why are they most mainstream artists in that they've made their own. still allowed their statutory rights? music, films, art and books. This week again sees another I read somewhere that the Foo Fighters missed the mark with There That Ms Carey should outsell Madonna, storming line- up. For a start Is Nothing Left To Lose because ifs too upbeat to be grunge. Can we Whitney Houston or even her musical in the two following columns please set the record straight: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS nemesis Celine Dion is unbelievable. I we see reviews of the new GRUNGE. Invented to create a niche and sell records; 'nuff said. And admit that in the past she has released Foo Fighters and Marioh no, this album isn't that Seattle sound that served Dave Grohl so well some fairly good singles, notably Hero, (7/ Carey albums - and who can in the past - I'm sure he doesn't want it to be. Be There and.. .er.. .anyway, she can cer complain about that? tainly Sing (she's a vocal range of 8 octaves We kick off as we mean to go on with the huge chorus of Stacked you know). Fine, but the point is, should we ... frequency... Actors. I had this on my Walkman and ended up dancing along the buy this album for musical pleasure or street like a lunatic, a sure sign of a premium tune. The drums play because it is able to communicate within ifs rubbish, a large part in the Foo Fighters' sound, possibly because that's what the hearing range of next door's dog? Dave Grohl started with, but I always find the drumlines are that lit nobody reads it? tle bit more involving and subsequently the songs are given a greater Rainbow sees Mariah collaborating with depth. That's not to say any other part of the track is neglected; the many R 'n' B superstars but this is not an With the rest of this space I'd guitars have a distinctive warm, fuzzy overdrive and in Dave Grohl's album for R 'n' B fans. The first track Heart like to make another plea for voice there's a harsh edge to the soft gentleness as demonstrated to Broker begins in typical Mariah style with people interested in writing good effect on Live-In Skin. all the usual vocal acrobatics but then we music articles for Felix. Club get a somewhat unexpected rap interlude writers are especially hard to There are so many tracks worthy of being singles on There Is... I'm halfway through. Finally, it's back to Mari come by and if anyone is surprised there weren't two albums released. There really isn't any ah. It really just doesn't work. She should interested in writing in going filler. Generator has a great Talkbox effect on lead guitar, Next Year stick to her epic ballads - they at least suit clubbing for free for the small is a superb song to lead us into Autumn with ifs wistful lyrics and her style. The personal and understated exchange of a short article Aurora is in a similar cavernous vein to February Stars. melody of Petals is the nearest she gets to about the night then I'd be this but the rest, I'm afraid, just bored me.

more than happy to have The Foo Fighters have brought us a beautiful third album, a more She may be trying to move with the times you. If you're interested just poppy sound but a rounded one too. They'll be around for a while but ifs doubtful if all the millions who (for pop along to the Felix Porta yet, but I wouldn't expect any less from a man who has the band's whatever reason) love her, will want to cabins for our music meetings logo tattooed on the back of his neck. move with her. at 1 2.30pm on Tuesdays and we'll sort it out. Christian Rachael 15 November 1999 Felix Music

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Mere Rage Against The Machine Cat Stevens Mere The Battle of LA. Remeber ICJ (Epic) (Island)

It's the voice. Unique, instinctu RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE! Somehow, these boys are still angry after The Cat's hippie back catalogue has al, lively, but most of all it's fear three albums. Which makes me happy - as it would have been ali too been raided by numerous artistes of less. Merz (Conrad Lambert) easy for Rage to sell out - become all post rock and non-abrasive. late, with covers of Wild World and has a wonderful array of tunes, But they still rock. Father and Son among a shed load of but instead of messing them tracks that have been resurrected by around in order to make it If you didn't like Rage before, this album won't endear them to you in popular modern beat combos. As a interesting, they're innovatively any special new way. But if, like me, you loved to listen to a band with result you can hear his stuff on Radio 2 embellished to gorgeous effect. a bit of integrity rather than the usual money grabbing layabouts then as well as Radio 1 , which is kind of an This means you're going to this will be right up your street. The track listing says it all really - achievement. hear a bunch of things you Calm As Bomb, Voice Of The Voiceless, Born As Ghosts and Broken don't always get from your Man being some of the more mellow titles. But it really isn't about the Cat isn't his real name of course, and usual pop album. Lotus begins titles, it's all about the depth of real emotion that goes into these isn't even his name now. He got into with a brass band picking out a songs - the way they smack you in the face and make you think while religion in a big way after a near death lonely tune, before comput getting you moshing round the room as well. I defy anyone to listen experience type thing, and changed his erised breakbeats pick up the to Sleep Now In The Fire on full volume and not end up bouncing off name to Yusuf islam (nice). Which reli tempo, followed by that voice. the walls. gion he found escapes me for the The gospel choir in CC Con moment... He's turned his back on the scious gives way to chunky per The reason they are still the same after all these years is that the sys whole pop star thang, so there is no cussion, squelchy bass and a tems that they were originally protesting against still exists. Further, as new material on this collection - but I keening vocal. Although these far as Rage are concerned, in many cases these systems have daresay at fifty one he still doesn't mind are seemingly disparate and become even more extreme and unjust. We should be ali this angry. the royalties... contrasting elements, every But this isn't a political forum, so on with the critique. After listening song sounds incredibly cohe to this album a couple of times, most US (and US influenced) rock Time hasn't dimmed the tender appeal sive. bands sounded hopelessly weedy and apathetic. I suppose not every of most of the twenty four (count 'em) one wants to be made to think while rocking out, but I think it's very musical gems contained on this compi This album sounds so original refreshing to hear it - even if you don't subscribe to their stance. lation. Buy it for your mum or dad this and alive. Music has recently Christmas. You may have a job finding been finding new and exciting The same rock/funk/industrial/rap style is very much in evidence, it, cos you'll be embarrassed asking the ways to diversify and merge, and there's some sparks of reggae (yes, that's reggae), electronica girl with pierced bits at the counter in but never to such joyful extent (as the yanks would term it) and even folky flavours too. Of course HMV. Try looking under 'rock' or 'pop' as it does here. Everything from there's still plenty of grunting and wailing. As voices go, Zack de la or maybe even 'folk' or '(ch)easy lis techno, drum 'n' bass, folk, jazz, Rocha's certainly has a lot of feeling. While he rarely 'sings', I don't tening'. Better still, you could wait until electro, indie... (the list could think that many people at Rage gigs fail to understand the emotions the sales and rummage in the less than go on forever) is absorbed and involved in his rap/rant style of orating. five quid bargain buckets. Then if you fearlessly implemented to cre do get a copy make sure you listen to

ate something unique. But best I think the world would be a better place with a few more bands like the lyrics. of all, the tunes are good. Not Rage Against the Machine. A few more that question the society that just good, fantastic. Indeed, they are in - rather than singing about how fine Micky is, or that they Choose long hair. Choose a beard. there's a whole new world out are going to blame everything on the weatherman. More of the same Choose a funny old man called Cat there. Let Merz into your life. - but when it's this great, who cares? Stevens. Enjoy.

Kunal ID Joel Ian Music 15 November 1999 Felix

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Little Mothers Counting Crows Royal Trux Title This Desert Life Veterans of Disorder (Island) (Geffen/PAL) (Domino)

Song titles such as The Worry, Everyone has listened to the Crows' first album - August and Every The musical landscape at the end of Bad to Worse and Moody sug thing After - whilst not so many have heard their second - Recover the 90's is plagued by irony. Most of gested a slightly downbeat feel ing the Satellites. This is due to the fact that August is regarded as our pop stars are sufficiently well might hang about this album. a classic whilst Satellites is not. Everyone knows the songs Round trained to talk the talk complete with a Likewise, the maudlin sleeve shot Here and Mr Jones but fewer people would be able to name any photogenic smile / grimace / look of of the four unsmiling lads nes songs from Satellites. The strange thing about this is that any reviews contemptuous aloofness, plastered tled amongst a depressingly (both critical and popular) of Satellites that you read credit it as a upon their smug faces. In this climate, empty furniture sale implied a worthy sequel to the bands first album. praise the fallen angel for bands like Radiohead-esque offering of the Royal Trux who are prepared to doom and despair. And in fact, if This Desert Life has been in my stereo non-stop since I received it believe in rock 'n' roll as not just a you listen to what they're saying due to the simple fact that it is excellent. Adam Duritz's vocals con badge but as a way of life. The two on the tracks, this is pretty much tinue in their despair whilst the music continues to rock in the chill main Trux, Neil Hagerty and Jennifer what you get. Subject matter out manner to which we have become accustomed. I can't find one Herrema, live a notoriously narcotic includes a badly failed relation bad track on the whole album - but I can find a number that I just existence and over the past decade or ship with a mate's little sister, have to comment on. so they have put out a string of records depression over other similarly dubbed by many as unlistenable and fated relationships, and cynicism Hanginaround opens the album with a bounce and vigour that will shambolic. about... well... broken relation have you singing along and moving your body in ways that you ships. Hmm. Not one to play if know are embarrassing but that you just can't stop. All My Friends is 'Veterans of Disorder1 is rock 'n' roll in you have any doubts about your both one of the best things they've done and a classic mellowed out the truest sense of that much maligned ability to hold down a steady tune of despair. Highlife brings together a stellar arrangement with word. The first half of VOD sees Trux girl/boyfriend. perfectly voiced lyrics. Finally / Wish I Was A Girl is just a ridiculously drawl and snarl their way through a catchy tune even if it does go on for hours. clutch of gloriously fucked up, raw and dirty mini masterpieces, every one suf Having said this, The Little Moth fused with the kind of swagger and ers' outlook on life never did the One thing I did notice however is that there are a couple of tracks attitude identifiable as the real deal. As great blues musicians any harm which seem to have been heavily influenced by Ben Folds Five. Both time progresses we reach Lunch Money (or Radiohead, for that matter), Mrs Potters Lullaby and Colourblind really could have been written in which the Trux get a bit atonal and and there are a couple of gen by Ben Folds - but the strange (and great) thing is that they would experimental on our asses, but even uinely good tracks on this both (especially Colourblind) be among the best tracks on the album the most dim right winger would find it album; If Love's What You Want and actually sound better with Duritz's vocals. hard not to see the beauty in the being perhaps the best example squawking racket. We have now - an acoustic tune about... It's possible that as in All My Friends "All my friends and lovers leave reached the point at which things start guess what? Lyrics aside, the me alone to try and have a little fun" but I really wouldn't mind if I to self-destruct. The album could have musical arrangement make this had this to listen to on my stereo. Or at least I wouldn't apart from done without a teeth grindingly self- a good record for late at night - the fact that I really want to go to that party on Friday night... indulgent seven-minute guitar solo just make sure you haven't eaten finale which is Sickass Dog, but in the cheese as well, or when you If you didn't like August (or Satellites] then you probably won't like wake of such a joyous, unholy (and wake up your dreams will have this either, but if like me you loved them, then your money should yes, shambolic) piece of rock 'n' roll turned you into a shivering neu already be out on the record shops counter. This Desert Life is an this seems like a minor complaint. rotic pile of rubble. Ouch. album that only the tasteless should miss.

Mart Tim The Masked Bandit 15 November 1999 Felix Music

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Bob Marley feat. Lauryn Hill Beck Woodbine Turn Your b'ghis Down Low Sexxlaws Blackalicious Mound of Venus (Columbia) (Geffen) Deception (Domino) (Mo Wax) The granddaddy of Beck was diagnosed at fourteen as Surely after just hearing ganj greets us once chronically unable to release a weak My single of the week! The simple the name, anything on more from beyond the single, and so far no cure has been story has a talented MC who loses this CD has to be an grave, via a Lauryn Hill found. Sexxlaws is the latest and the plot (Pt. 1, Don't Let Money anticlimax! But Wood cover/remix. It's a clas most multi-faceted of his symptoms. Change Ya), goes through hell (Pt. bine left me writhing on sic tune, with a lovely Backing up the usual fare of lyrics 2, Turmoil), and has to rediscover the floor in pleasure simple guitar, wasted catchier and more nonsensical than / his roots (Pt. 3, Redemption) Tracks and agony. Pleasure at on Hill's R&B keyboard Am The Walrus, we find that Mr. 1 and 3 have this kick-ass sung the sheer lesbian show demo remix. Then Hansen's extraordinarily polished refrain which hooks you like crack, er music of it and again, at least she has production spawns the most infec and the rest of the tunage is just agony, well, mild the taste to pick some tious dancing record of 1999. sooo dark! Enough said. embarrassment at thing tasty and keep words like 'mound of true to the vibe, unlike Venus, ask me to play', the run-of-the-mill hip- and 'don't go to bed pop dross which with some wet head plagues our charts whose name is Fred'. I

Thunderbugs Shack It's About Time You... Pull Together (Epic) (Sony)

It's the band with the Robbie Williams Puff Daddy With a hurried verse, lead singer who thinks She's The One / It's Only Us Best Friend the chorus combines she's seductive because (EMI) (Arista) the formula of both she's wearing intellectu Spiritualized and al glasses. The follow This is nothing but a money-spinner When a man with a bottom lip wor Embrace, made epic up to the mind burrow from the boy wonder. No matter thy of a ramp on Tony Hawk's Skate and loud with a lot of ing Friends Forever is how good She's The One is, and it is board Challenge and the musical harmonies. They even tragic; it even has truly beautiful, everyone already has talent of a peanut manages to manage to pull it off, backing vocals of the album. So he's lumped it engage Jennifer Lopez, you know he but sadly, they are lack 'doop doo'. Please. together with It's Only Us, presum must be doing something right, but ing the character and ably to be taken from the third this is not it. This song is all about individuality they need album. Although it's from the same his friendship with God, and to gain credibility. team as Old Before I Die and Let Me although that's admirable, it's not

Entertain You, it clearly isn't as good. much of a compliment; imagine how .Singles reviews by The result is a package of two annoyed you'd be if your girlfriend Dave & Kier... songs, the theory being two halves bought you a token of her love for make a whole. you and gave her some used socks. an Music Felix 15 November 1999 frequency NA

IIS 1 Montel Jordan Chill, it's Will, Keepin' it Will Smith Get It On Real and if s Mil (Def Jam) using the skill to kill (Columbia)

From the man that gave us What's up IC! We're gonna run through the latest news and have a quick The man in black is back with this egomani- This How We Do It, this new glance at the singles that are doing it, but first up I'm gonna have a serious acally titled new album. This follow up to Big release from Montell will moan about the state of the UK scene. Willie Style is a collection of funk and 80's not surprise any of his fans. groove-inspired tunes that are guaranteed to The problem with the UK scene is that there are no problems with the UK pack the dance floor (though not all the The first section comprises scene, it's really performing at the minute. Some of the tunes that are being tracks can do this). One thing that comes of some phat tunes associ released are actually good enough to blow away the so-called originators dear is the definite old skool flava to the ated with Montell. Check of R&B, the Americans. The British stuff that's being released has a vibe and whole album. Tracks on this album feature out the track Get It Tonight. a gloss that is as good as anything they could bring out, but then why is quite a few guys: K-Ci, Lit1 Kim, Slick Rick, This will certainly be big in British R&B still looked at in a negative way. So many people refuse to Kool Mo Dee, Dru Hill, his wife Jada Pinkett the clubs. The hits just keep believe that Beverly Knight's album could stand on the same level as a Mary Smith and even the first lady of the ruff on coming from Everybody J album; I'm sorry but it can. In fact the thing's got more bounce than Mary's ryders, Eve. Jazzie Jeff is back with the (Get Down) to the futuristi- by a good mile. So what's the problem? People are hooked up on the a scratching he is able to do well. (Half of track cally sounding Can't Get belief that the phattest stuff can only come from the States... well people 8 is Jazzie ripping it up with some dope Enough. The second half better recognise, UK R&B is moving up on the right side and we all better scratching). slows down the beat to come correct. more soulful tracks oozing The first couple of tracks are your party jams sensuality. That said quite a The Spice Girls have made breaking up the latest thing to do, following on (the ones meant to pack the floor). From the few tracks in this section are from them and the so-called disintegration of Blackstreet, we have Anoth first single Will 2K currently on general concerned with uncertain er Level. It seems that one of the boys thinks he'll do better on his own and release now with a slamming video, to the relationships. Despite this, is ready to hit the road. It's been confirmed that Wayne, the black guy, you Latino La Fiesta (everyone is going Spanish), there are some songs for a know, the one who can sing, is gonna be breaking up with his buddies and these songs will keep you moving to the beat. good bump and grind. do his own thang. He's gonna finish off all his duties with Another Level with Tracks worth listening to are their current hit "Bombdiggy" before embarking on what he hopes is going Afro Angel slows things down just a little with Let's Cuddle Up and the to be a fruitful solo career. The rest of the boys gotta be hoping he fucks Jada laying down some spoken word. The very sensual Do You? Mon up, but somehow I doubt it, because he's already got the master don pro real 'old skool' tracks are next, casting your tell also does a very good ducer lined up to start work on his album... no not fucking Puff Daddy... mind back in time to when Slick Rick and Biz cover of the classic Phi! the Darkchild Rodney Jerkins is supposedly willing to do production duties Markie were at the top of the game. An inter Collins track Against Al! for Wayne. esting track on this album is Potnas where Mr Odds. Smith experiments with DMX of the ruff After the Bob Marley duet with the multi-talented Miss Hill it seems one of ryders' flow. He does okay but he should stick

The song Once Upon A the biggest stars of rap is gonna be making his presence felt from beyond to what he has 'perfected1. Time has a Spanish influ the grave. Biggie's back! The man is weighing in with another post death ence, to the point where the album. Like Tupac it seems that there is no limit to the records that can be Overall, Willennium is average, without as second version is in Span pulled out of the bag, not that that's a bad thing. In the past, I've gone on many jams as Big Willie Style but an OK ish. Not bad! about the number on guests that turn up on people's albums, well the new album with a variety of tracks using different Biggie album, "Born Again", has got more big name stars than the Holly styles. The main grumble is that some would

Overall, a very good album wood. Puff Daddy, Li!1 Kim, 2Pac, Busta Rhymes, Snoop Dogg, Mobb Deep, argue Will's flow as being too commercial that should have a position Eminem, Method Man, Redman, Missy 'Misdemeanor' Elliot, Ice Cube, DJ and downright whack. That may be true but in your musical collection. Premier, Clark Kent and anyone else you can think of, they're all there. The you can't stop this guy stacking chips with his Or first single "Dead Wrong" has already been doing the rounds on import. flow so don't playa hate. Milen inO 15 November 1999 Felix Music

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ClubOne Ram Trilogy Parly @ The End Recommended @ YenueTwo ..if you like it hard... Clubbing

Some club nights manage to stand out With the recent opening of home and Fabric, the End could have This week's selection is more than from others with effortless ease. It's found itself struggling to keep up. However, Friday night proved impressive, so take your pick from this nothing to do with their DJ line-up, that this venue and the genre of drum and bass can still get the veritable box of delights. nothing to with the venue where they punters in. This was a 'roadblock' event with the club almost full are held and nothing whatsoever to do to capacity by midnight. Monday 15th November with the state of the toilets. Quite sim Boom or Bust @ The Project; £4 ply, the club nights that stand head and The first couple of sets in the main room were good without real Fat Tony on the decks with more shoulders above others are all about ly getting the crowd jumping, playing music that anyone can eas flavours than most. This club has the vibe. They seem to capture the spir ily get a hold of. The lounge was a more laid back affair with drum changed names loads, but remains a it of the house party and transport this and bass being played first up, but not the real heavy bass line quality night out. heavenly atmosphere directly to a club stuff, complementing the havoc being created in the main room. Thursday 18th November venue. Last Saturday's ClubOne night It then switched to hip hop before finishing with some chilled out The Beginning @ The End; £3 was a perfect example of this. breaks and beats. This night is a proper party so make sure you're dressed up. DJs on rotation Put on by a group of people clearly Enter Roni Size on the decks, in the main room. His reputation include Brandon Block, Streetboy and more interested in having a good time precedes him with main room getting packed out to the point that Alex P and three quid for this is more than impressing anybody, ClubOne it was almost impossible to move. He played an excellent set with than a bargain. proved to be an excellent night for a mixture of jazzy breaks, vocal tunes and bass heavy dubplates. Friday 19th November more than just those out for a big one. He really did get the crowd going and the presence of MC Dyna Varsity @ 2 New Burlington Street; £8 With a techno-trance mix in the main mite only added to experience. Ex-clubscene writer Jo Public is a resi room and eclectic mix of beats in the dent at this new up and coming back room, clubbers were treated to a Next up came the highlight of the night. Andy C came to the decks garage club. There are good guests mystical experience of music rarely with crowd at boiling point. Now to those of you that don't know, each week from some of the best Lon served in the more mainstream clubs. Ram records is Andy C s label and so you would expect this set don radio stations. From people dancing like no one was to be special. He didn't disappoint. He played a technically amaz Saturday 20th November watching to those just sitting around on ing set, running mixes at length and constructing the set well. He Fabric @ Fabric; £12 the floor chilling out, this was a house mixed up the set playing the very newest dubplates and dropping Fabric's in these listings again! Sorry for party in a club and the vibe was clear the odd blast from the past- you didn't know which way he was the repetition, but this really is a brilliant for all to see. Indeed, as one walked going to take it next. Some might have felt that his set was maybe club. This week sees Felix favourite Ash around a feeling that everyone knew too bass heavy, but the nutters in the crowd were feeling it hard!!! ley Beedle in room 3, and this surely will each other seemed to ooze from every be a stormer. Next up on the decks were the highly acclaimed producers, ed- Sonic Mook Experiment @ Scala; £8 rush & optical - they played a good set although it was a little anti- Held in a converted cinema, Sonic Sadly though, these ClubOne nights climactic after the mayhem that preceded it. Randall closed the Mook is a night getting better all the are something of a rarity, as they only night off with a tight set mixing the b-line styles with the more time. Tonight sees the wonderful Psyco- seem to appear every few months with experimental stuff. nauts get groovy, so do you really want little promotion. Yet it is maybe this to miss out? infrequency that keeps the vibe so All in all a good night was had by all, with a broad spectrum of alive, and the people present so spe drum and bass catered for. Those of you that are interested, there To have your club added to this list just cial. And this is why this club is not many more drum and bass nights from now to the end of the year invite us along, we'll check it out and if called ClubOne and why it is not held at the End. It's still a wicked venue - pretty modern with a body we like it we'll put it down at VenueTwo. Sorry. shaking sound system. Watch out Fabric, the End isn't dead yet. e-mail: [email protected] James Gov phone: 020 7594 8072 ask for James Films Felix 15 November 1999 screen |—| ODEON MA What's on at ICU Cinema This Week Brokedown Palace Competition

As you can tell from the screen pages there are some good films in cin This week the Odeon Kensington have five pairs of tickets for Brokedown emas out there. Our very own ICU Cinema is no different. This week they Palace to give away. As well as these tickets we have a cd of the sound boost a fantastic line up for you to feast your eyes upon. Films that are track including tracks from Audioweb and Asian Dub Foundation to give being shown this week are 'Mickey Blue Eyes', 'Shakespeare in Love1 and to one lucky winner, 'Saving Private Ryan'. Brokedown Palace is a story about two high schoolers Alice (Claire Mickey Blue Eyes stars Hugh Grant, James Caan and Jeanne Tripplehorn Danes) and Darlene (Kate Beckinsale) who go to Thailand for a mega- in this romantic comedy about love, fine art and The Mob. Michael Fel- holiday to celebrate their graduation. From there they plan to go to gate (Hugh Grant), an elegant, debonair Englishman who runs an auc Hong Kong but drugs get found in their bags so instead the end up in a tion house in New York, is head-over-heels in love for the first time in his Thai jail also known as a brokedown palace. Hank (Bill Pullman) is their life. After only three months of dating his beautiful girlfriend Gina lawyer who tries to get them out. (Jeanne Tripplehorn), Michael gathers up his courage and proposes mar riage. But, to Michael's shock, Gina declares that, though she loves The Odeon is at the far end of High Street Kensington and the number Michael very much, she can never marry him. Michael doesn't give up 9 and 1 0 buses will take you down there for a small charge. These buses easily and ends up getting involved with the Mob curtesey of Gina's father go from the park side of the Albert Hall, So now you know how to get (James Caan). there all you have to do is answer a question, I realise that last weeks question didn't go down too well and that IC students don't want to think Saving Private Ryan is about World War II, which was a pivotal event of up interesting answers they just want an excuse to surf the web. Well if the 20th century. It shifted the borders of the globe. It forever changed this is the case then here is this week's question: those who lived through it, and shaped generations to come. It has been called "the last Great War." Captain John Miller (Tom Hanks) is ordered In what film did Bill Pullman star as Lone Star? to take his squad behind enemy lines on a dangerous mission to find and retrieve one man: Private James Ryan (Matt Damon). This film deals with Answers to [email protected] before noon on Wednesday 1 7 Novem difficult issues such as sacrifice and death.. ber.

Shakespeare in Love is a brilliant comedy starring Gwyneth Paltrow and The people that made the effort to enter last weeks competition and win Ralph Fienes. Set in the late 1 500's, Shakespeare has writer's block and a pair of tickets each are: is struggling to finish his latest piece of work. He needs inspiration, enter M Doering the lovely Gwyneth, to help him get over the block. This movie is amaz P Sharma ing but don't expect factual historical detail. This film boasts a fine Eng M Obhrai lish supporting cast with Dame Judi Dench and the guys from the Fast C Toffis Show. A must see for everyone. M Arendt

There has been some confusion with the prices at the cinema. You don't Please call by the Felix office to collect your tickets. need to be a member to go and see the films, as all screenings are now £3. So you now have no excuse s everyone can afford £3 to see some of the best films ever. Go get a beer and a curry and enjoy some fan More Offers, Offers, Offers tastic films this week. To find out the times of the films just go to the walk way you'll see posters. All the information about screenings is on those The Odeon have yet another offer to delight you film-loving people, posters. They have introduced a booklet that allows you to buy three cinema tick ets and get one free. These booklets also contain vouchers for money ICU Cinema is still looking for people to help out selling tickets and sell off Heat or Empire magazine and go large vouchers for drinks and pop ing ice creams. In return you get to see the films for free. Just e-mail corn. "What's the catch?" I hear you shout. There is no catch. The book cinema @ ic.ac.uk and they will be able to tell you more or ask the peo let is free and you can get them from the Felix office any time you like. ple in charge when you go and se a film this week. So come on what are you waiting for?! 15 November 1999 Felix Films 23

Despite what you have probably heard about Fight Club, this is not a With the recent spate of "slasher" movies, finally abating with the release film about violence. Sorry to those of you who wanted to see Brad Pitt of Scream 3 early next year, it's a refreshing surprise to see more con get his head smacked in. While it does involve a lot of bare knuckle ventional supernatural thrillers picking up steam. The Sixth Sense is a fighting, it is more a story about one person, acted by Edward Norton, welcome addition to this genre. and how he accidentally founds a cult. This movie must have been a nightmare to pitch to studio executives. Based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk this film has been adapted for Let's take a story, by an unproven screenwriter/director, set in a genre screen by Jim Uhls. This is his debut screenplay and he has done last made popular in the mid 1 970's, with the emphasis of the acting on extremely well. David Fincher directs this film in his very distinctive a 9 year old kid. Then add Bruce Willis as a psychiatrist, into the mix! style. Most of you will know him from films such as The Game, Seven, Granted that Willis hasn't had a great track record when it comes to and Alien 3. playing a psychologist [Colour of Night anyone!) or acting opposite a child (Mercury Rising), it's a surprise that this movie works so well - the The main character narrates the story for you and occasionally talks to studio execs must have had great hindsight to green-light this project. the viewer in the first person. He tells you about himself and his day to But we should be thankful because M Night Shyamalan has been able day life. All goes well until he meets Tyler Durden (Pitt). Durden is the to craft an extremely well acted and well delivered thriller that may not sort of person who is always popular and everyone would love to be. scare you out of your wits, but will definitely leave you with a sense of He and the narrator start a fight club completely by accident and, as unease as you leave the cinema. you have probably heard from the film trailers, "The first rule about Fight Club is not to talk about Fight Club." So I won't. Willis plays Dr Malcolm Crowe, a psychologist, who at the start of the movie is shot by a former patient before the patient turns the gun on Making a starring and fantastic appearance is Meatloaf He plays himself. We are then whisked towards "The Next Fall" where we meet Robert Paulson who has had testicular cancer and now has big bitch Crowe. He now has a new patient, 9-year-old Cole Sear (Haley Joel breasts. He acts his part extremely well and it is worth watching this Osment), who exhibits the same problems as the former patient - and so film just for him. Also starring is Helen Bohnam Carter, not playing her Crowe sees the ability to redeem himself in the boy. usual English Rose character but more of a leachy type of person. The cast works incredibly well and it is rare to see so many famous people What unfolds is an exceptionally well-crafted piece of moviemaking in actually giving a good performance in one film. which the suspense factor is cranked right up. But what makes this movie really work is the acting. Who would have thought that Bruce Willis Fight Club is one of those films that you think you understand and could be able to convey emotions in a subtle manner without giving a quite enjoy. That is until about three-quarters of the way through when one-liner, cracking his trademark smirk and then whipping out a gun it suddenly changes. The plot doesn't quite lose you as much as it con before all hell breaks loose? Toni Collette, who plays Cole's mother, is fuses you. This is the type of film that takes a while to sink in and also outstanding as a woman who is trying to understand what is wrong leaves you wondering about various aspects for days later. It is full of with her son whilst keeping her family together. But the real discovery is dark humour and there is even a brief moment of idiocy when the film Osment, whose acting in this movie is nothing short of incredible - there suddenly seems like a modern day scene from Monty Python's Life of are already whispers of an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor. Brian. He's able to hold his own in scenes with Willis and it's these scenes which provide the backbone of this movie. Ok, what I said about violence isn't exactly true. There are fights and where they occur there are lots of fantastic special effects. It does get Much has been said about this movie's big twist ending, and all I can a bit gruesome at times but at least the blood does look like blood. say is whatever you've heard is right. The ending in this movie belongs on the same mantelpiece as The Usual Suspects, and Seven among oth ers, with the hints towards it being provided all through out the movie.

Helen Imran 24 Games Felix 15 November 1999

In association with (o) react gameswire.com A WHOLE NEW WORLD

Eidos/Post-it Rage of Mages I (PC) Nocturne (PC) competition Rage of Mages II is much like the original, a hybrid of I can't remember the last time I was as disappointed in a RPG and strategy, but there have been some very game as I was with Nocturne. I read all the hype, This competition was really over welcome refinements. As before you wander about a drooled over the screenshots and was so excited to have subscribed mmmm. What is the Warcrafr-like map, fighting monsters and trying to a preview copy, I could hardly get the CD into the drive. matter with everyone? We are pre accomplish goals. As you whack monsters, they can pared to give away FREE stuff to leave behind gold and equipment that you can use to I would guess that the feeling of excitement lasted about you poor students but not many improve your character, plus your skills and hit points two minutes once I started playing the game itself. The people entered the competition. as you fight. Upon completing your goal, you can problem is that it iacks that most important element in - We would like to see an improve move on to the next mission, or hang around and a decent, original, idea. This game has been made so ment next time. Anyway the win explore the map fully, looking for more monsters and many times before, so much better. This is the kind of ners of the REACT acronym com more gold. Between missions, you stop at towns to game that causes me to lose faith in the industry. I mean, petition are: trade stuff, or hire mercenaries if you think the next the guys who write these games must be intelligent or mission will require an extra body. they couldn't cope with the programming. So how can Peter Reeves-Hall no one in this big group of intelligent people spot that Chris Haynes What is great about this game is its non-linearity. You what you are releasing is a pile of warmed-over repeti Chris Dickinson don't have to do the quests in a particular order, you tive rubbish? Joel Dearden can choose which quest and when. On the down side Paul Alexander the graphics are not very advanced so do not expect First off, any sense of immersion in the game, vitally to be wowed. Also, the character's movements are important in horror games if it is going to be scary in the The 3 best acronyms in our hum quite jerky and slow. Saying this graphics are sec slightest, is destroyed by the infuriating fixed third person ble opinion were: ondary in these sorts of games and it is really the viewpoint. The graphics may be good, but as the only playability and interaction that you're after. thing that actually moves is the main character and a Reality Endures And Computers few pathetic looking walking corpses the visuals soon Tease ROM2 features a simple but effective battle structure, lose their appeal. The camera angles are so bad half the akin to the world of WarCraft. Point and click to tell time you can't even see your character - falling to your Really Enthusiastic About your character what to do, which spell to cast, which death over a precipice you couldn't even see because Computer Technology monster to attack, etc. Real time gameplay forces you the game engine is so poor is not my idea of fun. to determine plans of attack before the fight, and Runny Ectoplasmic Arseholes ROM2 will keep you constantly thinking. Then there is the combat. Aiming in third person is diffi Creating Treacle cult enough, but the control system is even worse, lead One thing which I found annoying about this game is ing to bizarre situations with my character standing in the Please come and collect your that it is very hard. Usually hard games make for an corner shooting at the ground instead of at the dog that goody bags at the Felix office. interesting challenge but when you keep on dying was busy gnawing my leg off. Personally, I think the only you lose interest. It was a case of saving every couple reason the bad guys are all slow moving zombies is that of minutes for fearing of being massacred by certain shooting anything moving much faster would be impos IB zombies and other nefarious creature. sible due to the poor controls and camera angles.

In conclusion the game is a nice RPG/strategy but Even worse, in order to play Nocturne properly requires there is not much new here. I, personally enjoyed it a very high-end machine (about a Pentiumlll-450 and a but it does have a jerky quality and is sometimes very decent 32-bit 3D card). This is most definitely not the tricky. If it weren't for the likes of Diablo II coming out kind of game that would encourage me to upgrade. soon I might have bought this game straight off but I Avoid it as you would the walking, disease ridden think it is best to wait for it to come out in budget. corpse of Maggie Thatcher. Just look what the winners are enjoying... Mark Ben 15 November 1999 Felix Games 25

liiiilll

Flanker 2.0 (PC)

Flight simulations are usually divided into two types fanatic would notice the difference I doubt very game: during one anti-ship mission I took out the - the mindless, arcade style affairs and the type that much, however - when was the last time you actu combat air patrol from long range and dove in on comes with a manual four hundred pages long ally flew an F-1 6? the target ship. Firing two sea-skimming missiles at requiring a degree in aeronautics and a private it I turned for home on full afterburner, skimming pilots license to fly. I do think that perhaps this realism drive might the waves at 1300kph. As I watched the missiles have gone a little far though - all the cockpit streak targetwards, two ship-launched SAMS Flanker 2 is supposed to fill the void between these switches are labelled in Russian only, which does downed both of them, leaving me with no two types - even without the manual I was in the air nothing to enhance playability. Indeed the whole weapons and looking a right fool. Now that is and shooting things down well enough after a few game seems to have been designed with a very detail. minutes. There are also various training missions Russian military design policy in mind: keep it sim available in-game in which, and as a learning ple, build something that does the job and forget If you take the time to get beyond the initial train method they are extremely effective. The Flanker of the rest. Where it counts (ie around target areas) ing missions, this is a big game with loads of mis the game's title is the SU-27, the latest, hardest the graphics are very detailed, but elsewhere they sions to play. The multiplayer section is well imple (and probably biggest) Russian fighter plane. I am become blurry and lack colour depth. This means mented and entertaining, although it lacks the per told that because the Russian armed services do it runs extremely smoothly even on my old PC, sonal combat touch of World War II dogfighting pretty much anything for money these days, the something many other modern flight sims don't do. games. It is not a new benchmark in combat flight developers were allowed access to all sorts of The emphasis is very much on the details of flying, simulations, but it's definitely up their with the best information on the plane that wouldn't have been not on flashy eye-candy. of them. available if they'd chosen an American plane. Whether anyone but the most dedicated flight Here's one example of the kind of mission in the Ben

times, but then who really takes any notice of plots standard 'pull the switch to open the door1 kind in games anyway? Basically, you play Rayman, a really, but you need pretty good coordination to floppy-eared creature with no arms or legs - his get far. On the whole the camera angles are good, feet and hands just float around - and have to save and you can always move the camera if you need the world by jumping around and collecting things. to.

The game eases you in gradually with a lot of easy The graphics are well drawn and detailed, and the levels early on. With a bit of patience you'll soon sound effects are suitably squeaky and cartoon get on to the more challenging and fun levels. This like. The music is bouncy and fun, with nice little is certainly a big game, as I've been playing for a trills when you do something important. It's a little week now and my score is still only 8%. It's also like playing in one of those kids cartoons that are rewarding, as you are always discovering new lev on TV early Saturday morning. els and special sections, not just frustratingly walk ing round the same levels again and again look All in all, Rayman 2 is an extremely well polished The most important fact about this game is that it's ing for the exit game. It may be a little childish, but if you treat it great fun to play. From the cutesy, squeaky cartoon as a bit of a laugh and just play the game, it'll soon characters to the very clear graphics, everything is A fair bit of thought has obviously gone into the draw you in and have you hitting the keyboard in enjoyable. level design, and some of the puzzles and tricks are disgust when you miss an easy jump and poor lit especially cunning. They are also varied, not just tle Rayman plunges to his doom just before you A 3D platform game along the lines of Mario 64, the endless repeating "jump, walk, jump, shoot" of complete the level. Rayman 2 is definitely worth a try if you like that many 3D platform games on the PC. The puzzles sort of thing. The storyline may be a bit weird at aren't exactly brain-taxers, never going beyond the Ben Arts Felix 15 November 1999 method ^

U J *

The David's The Turner Prize 1 999 Dirk

Finbourough Theatre - Tate Gallery - Pimlico tube The countdown begins for Dram- Earls Court tube Free Soc's amazing Christmas production £5 Cone.

Hard core. I am well If you decide to visit this exhibition (and you should), you will not depart with the Imperial's thespians are taking on aware that this play was same impression as us. That's what the Turner Prize is all about; it challenges our something huge; the first inde not aimed at a wide sec definition of "art". Short-listed for the prize this year are four very controversial artists pendent showing ever of Dirk. The tion of the public and - none more so than Tracy Emin. Her work is striking because of the wide range of script is adapted from Dirk Gen unless you are a middle- responses that it provokes. Her showpiece comprises of her sick bed, embroidered tly 's Holistic Detective Agency by aged homosexual quilt (pictured above), memorabilia and video footage. Is she a self-centred narcis Douglas Adams (author of the unable to find the bal sistic tart who boosts her ego through capturing our sympathy? Or is she wanting Hitch Hickers Guide to the ance between a monog to shame herself through laying bare her life to the judgement of others? Do you feel Galaxy). amous relationship and sorrow for her or contempt? Either way she has had a colourful and, at times, sor midnight sodomy with did past, which perhaps she is trying to reconcile through her work, coming to terms Mr. Adams was involved in the strangers on the heath, with the trauma (particularly sexual) she describes in her childish scribbles. It's prob writing of this play and has sent then the issues of this ably the most immediately accessible of all the work shown. words of advice to DramSoc; play will perhaps seem a "Don't worry about the story and little distant. Jane and Louise Wilson's display also studies aspects of human nature, through just have fun". looking at how experiences have become ingrained in the fabric of two distinct loca The play attempted to tions; the Hoover dam and a Las Vegas casino. Their wall to wall cinematic display This play is easily the most techni deal with these issues not only recreates the atmosphere and disorientation of the Casino life style (with it's cally challenging that DramSoc through the uncertain wrap-around visuals and evocative sound track), but it also reflects the uncertainly has ever done (it includes a space relationship between an and cheapness of such an existence. The dam's corridors stretch away into nothing ship landing on stage), but if any older lover and a young ness, complementing the casino footage, making you unsure which path or chance tech crew can handle it, DramSoc guy in a boy band. The to take. are da boyz. characters spent almost half the time butt naked Steve McQueen aims to produce a physical reaction in the viewer, this time more for Tickets £4.50 from 29th Nov - at or shagging. I respect comic effect. His Dead Pan is a recreation of a Buster Keaton sketch, with the side the Union Office or on the door. the actors for attempting of a house falling on the artist, only for him to miraculously survive since the empty Showing 8-11 December such a hard core piece window frame falls around him. This promotes the idea of gravity creating a solid of theatre and the writer and very real threat, and of the artist taking a risk for his trade. His work can be for dealing with the interpreted in a number of ways, and in spite of the fact that it is not immediately Time's Running Out To See issues in such a frank accessible, this makes is all the more rewarding. way but it never really Higher than Bable worked. On the surface Steven Pippin's work seems more like science than art. He has con The relationship between Science verted twelve washing machines in to pin hole cameras, capable of developing their and Society is explored. Basically the production slides within the washing cycle. These pictures are displayed in series along the wall, Bridwell Theatre. was out of it's depth and but unfortunately the concept of how they were taken is more exciting than what you Finishes 20 Nov - £8 as a result ended up actually see - although him walking through the launderette in his y-fronts with a vis being long periods of ible erection may be interesting to some. A good idea but the results were uninspir Some Explicit Polaroids boredom punctuated by ing. Do we care about any real princi brief moments of bug ples or do we just want to get gery. We couldn't agree on an overall winner. pissed all the time? New Ambassador Theatre Ben Tom & Emma Finishes 20 Nov - £5 -20 15 November 1999 Felix Arts method /\

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m III mi

Amazons of the Avant-Garde The Art of Bloomsbury

Sackler Wing, Royal Academy of Arts - Nearest Tube: Green Park Tate Gallery - Nearest Tube: Pimlico Until: 6 February 2000 Until: 30 January 2000

This exhibition was something of an October Revolution. If you go, you Gatecrashing Thursday Night Cocktails at UCL Union. Is this your only may be forced to agree that it is the exhibition of the year. Amazing as a Bloomsbury Experience? If it is, Bloomsbury will not be a very evocative whole and yet every painting is special in its own right. The hype was: place for you. After closing time, we all know that you need a junior doctor's Five Russian (Natalia Goncharova, Luibov Popova, Olga Rozanova, Var- stamina just to stand near those sloshed students sicking up and up and up. vara Stepanova, Nadezhda Udaltsova) and one Ukrainian (Alexandra Exter) artist showing more than fifty paintings, many never before seen in But having been a UCL undergraduate and sometime resident of Cartwright the West. We follow the careers of these artists in a sweep through the Gardens, I also know Bloomsbury for its leafy squares and graceful Geor years immediately before and after the 1917 Revolution. I went in want gian terraces: semi-mythical homeland of that famous collective of radical ing to like this exhibition and came out in love. But there are just too intellectuals known as the Bloomsbury Group. Within easy stumbling dis many fantastic pictures here and I am struggling to describe them. tance of UCL are the former houses of Virginia Woolf, John Maynard Keynes, EM Forster, Roger Fry, Vanessa Bell and Duncan Grant. The last

Approach Olga Rozanova's Jack of Hearts and you think: she is copying three were artists and this new exhibition follows their interlinked careers Picasso. Then you read: painted about 1912. Then you wonder: this from 1910. painting would pass for a Picasso circa 1 960. In 1917, Rozanova paint ed Green Stripe (Colour Painting). This is purely abstract, reductive and Sadly, this exhibition inadvertently portrays Bloomsbury as a fossilised back almost unbelievably ahead of its time. Popova is equally impressive with water of artistic mediocrity. Although Roger Fry was the first to introduce her bold, dramatic, often abstract forms (Painterly Architectonics). These Impressionism into the British art mainstream, most of his own work and that artists were so avant-garde that they foresaw the future of Western art. Its of Bell and Grant is, without doubt, incredibly dull and very much of its age. almost as surprising as Queen Victoria predicting the internet, and then having her palace wired up for it. There were over a hundred archetypal Bloomsbury works (still-lifes, portraits) and some of them were distinctly third rate. Vanessa Bell's The Ha/stack, Of the six, Goncharova was the most dedicated painter (the others Asheham is barely distinguishable from the poorly executed daubs of an worked on theatre sets and textiles). She picked up Western influences amateur. Yet others give the impression of boredom: imagine Vanessa Bell and madly ran with them, producing pictures of quite striking originality. sitting around with nothing to do and desperately racking her brains for Starting in 1907 with a beautifully executed Impressionist self-portrait something 'clever' to paint. In the background of Duncan Grant's Still Life (Self-Portrait with Yellow Lilies), she evolves effortlessly into a more futur With Matisse, there is a reproduction of Matisse's Blue Nude I. I'm afraid to ist style (Pillars of Salt, 1 908). Then, in a little over two years, she paints say that Matisse, even in imitation, put everything else to shame. the darkly-brooding masterpiece Apocalypse (Elder with Seven Stars), which could be contemporary art. So forward looking, it was considered The tragedy is that there were only five really striking paintings in the entire blasphemous and caused a political storm at the time. Unperturbed, she exhibition. These were actually not all that wonderful and have been done spearheaded the Russian Cubo-Futurist movement, with pictures like The elsewhere and better. Yet they were aesthetically pleasing and captivated me Weaver (Loom and Woman). either by their intimacy with the subject (Grant: Vanessa Bell at Charleston and Vanessa Bell Pregnant) or their vibrant warmth (Grant: The Doorway and But the paintings are more than wonderful. Every one is a unique syner South of France; Fry: View of Cassis). gy of Western influence and Russian folk art. Goncharova takes the tra ditions of Russia and reinterprets them in pictures like Mowers, which has The impact of this exhibition relies entirely upon its context. The Bloomsbury the air of a medieval allegorical painting. Alexandra Exter painted in an celebrity connection means that people hand over money to see something abstract style but was forever interested in the traditional, classical rep that would be, under normal circumstances, firmly rooted in the second divi resentation of landscape, magically expressed in Cityscape (Composi sion (and I am being charitable here). But, in spite of this, I couldn't help but tion). I am speechless! fall into the celebrity trap and begin to like these pictures.

William Burns William Burns methoArts d Felix 15 November 1999 Royal College Science Union an u an

Rocket Girl Fringe Thoughts

Finborough Theatre "Let a thousand flowers bloom" said Mao Nearest Tube: Earls Court Tse Teung then stamped on their heads as Until: 27 November 1999 he didn't like the colour.

Houston, we have a prob The fringe scene. It's made up of a number lem! Or rather several prob of sides; we have the writers who strive to lems, which left this play create the truly original - actors who try and drifting somewhat forlornly breath life into the new scripts - and critics in space. All two of us in the who slag off both the others for being crap. audience were told the

wacky story of a Kentish Is there any way out of this paradox. Nope. Town caterer who believed For every great play there are thousands of that his mother was an rubbish ones - there has to be. Yet without astronaut. The play ended the fringe scene (which allows experimental to the strains of Lucy In The theatre to develop) we would never have Sky With Diamonds, which I the truly great. think just about summed up

this surreal experience. Most of the stuff on at the fringe is bad. But this does not mean it is worthless. For Given the constraints of this something to be original it must take a risk tiny theatre, the two-person - and that risk is that it will end up being cast (Anthony Best and crap. Denise Lane) did what they could. Mr Best did not We all remember Shakespeare, but there always do his best, once for were hundreds of playwrites around at the getting his lines rather time; most were infinitely forgettable, but noticeably and needing Shakespeare would never have developed three loud prompts. Ms Lane without actors willing to act and theatres in also suffered from First need of shows. Night Nerves and it con

cerns me that professional New original theatre is very rare and - to actors should be so ama top it off - when it does come along, soci teurish, especially when the ety dismisses it as worthless as it is not punters are paying good ready yet. But this is the only way it can be money. - there needs to be a large and vibrant fringe scene full off crap which the great I find it hard to slam this play will transcend. And yes we even need the Monday 15 November (I feel sorry for them). But if critics trashing every thing they don't under you want to go, I'd hurry, stand and hailing something as a master because I suspect this per piece every fortnight or so. formance will be pulled long 7:30pm in the before the end of its sched Let a thousand flowers bloom, but accept uled season. most of them will be ugly. Senior Common Room

William Burns Ben 15 November 1999 Felix Books 29 books

Three Women.

Three Women, England England, Julian Barnes The Restraint Marge Piercy of Beasts,

Three Women is the latest novel This one goes out to all the Murdoch-haters out there. Nominated for the 1998 Magnus Mills from American author Marge Booker, here is a book that builds upon the standard theme of art being used as Piercy and follows three genera a substitute for reality. The book starts out with an exploration of the manner in tions of women: Suzanne is a which we construct artificial worlds, only to finish with a scathing attack on what The first novel by Mills, highly successful lawyer who has Barnes generally perceives as a lack of consciousness with regard to true authen who worked as a bus just embarked on a new era in ticity and heritage. driver during its writing, her life, teaching at Boston Uni The Restraint of Beasts is versity and beginning a new rela The basic story line follows the rather grandiose scheme of multimillionaire Sir a book of real character tionship following an internet Jack Pitman to create the greatest tourist attraction ever - the theme park to beat and comic charm. romance. Beverly, her mother and all theme parks. This is no ordinary park, this one occupies the whole of the Isle one time political activist, is of Wight! The isle, now re-christened "England, England" has lifelike replicas - Two Scottish working fiercely independent yet her life is and in some cases, the originals which have been specially moved there - of all class brothers, Tarn and shattered as she suffers a debili the usual tourist attractions that earn the British Isles so much of their wealth. Richie, wannabe hard- tating stroke and becomes Stonehenge, Westminster Abbey and even Buckingham Palace are included in Pit rockers and slacker increasingly reliant on those man's collection. With the Royal Family, The Times and Manchester United FC all fence builders, provide around her. Elena, Suzanne's set firmly in place on the Isle, "England, England" sets all out to bring the once- the humour as viewed by feisty daughter, loses her job as a mighty nation to its knees. the poor soul freshly waitress and is forced to move assigned as the boys back in with her mother. The central character is the cynic Martha Cochrane who, despite being unusual foreman. ly dissatisfied about things in general, manages to get involved with this giant As they are thrown together, the project and eventually blackmails her way right to the top. Barnes is at his best While not quite a laugh women are forced to readjust when depicting Martha, whose dialogue rings very true and is never overly harsh a page, I did laugh out their lives and reconsider their despite the ever-present sarcastic undertones. loud countless times relationships. Piercy tackles both during the course of maternal responsibilities and filial However, the end is fairly dire and predictable; England, England declares its reading, prompted by loyalty in a way that is challeng independence, joins the EU, shrugs off the mainland completely and generally Mills dead pan delivery ing yet poignant. The story also leads the rest of the world to first ignore and then condemn the mainland. Old and the apparent idiocy touches on issues as diverse as England in a desperate bid to regain some credibility re-christens itself "Anglia" of the two brothers, who euthanasia and adultery. and then expels the errant island. The Times (which has moved - along with all manage to get them other institutions - to the Isle) labels this the act of a "bankrupt parent exasperat- selves into all sorts of The book is written from the point edly declaring that it would no longer underwrite the bills of its millionaire child". trouble. of view of all three women and The world at large begins to forget about everything to do directly with Old Eng the author' attention to detail land, and the island simply reverts back to the quaint primitive days of yore. The A fresh change of pace allows the reader to empathise focus shifts back to Martha at this point, as she reflects on how things have and well worth a look. with all the main characters. changed so rapidly.

However, at times I found the You will laugh book, particularly the references The end really does seem tagged on, however. It is extremely abrupt and every to American law, very heavy thing changes in the space of a few pages. This disturbs the narrative flow and Russell going. If you like intense, roman means that it doesn't finish strongly. tic sagas, this is the book for youl Remember to stop by Unfortunately, it is not the book If you're a fan of the dry acerbic form of satirical wit Barnes has employed fre Waterstone's on Cam for me. quently, then there are a few gems, but if not then there is little reason to read it. pus where 'Felix Recom mends' titles are at a Helen Sun/7 20% discount. 15 November 1999 Felix Seven Days 30 Seven Days Felix 15 November 1999 31

FELIX V N D A Y Saturday Sunday Next Week Monday Tuesday I Wednesday Friday I^H HH Southside pub STA Quiz Night XS Pop Tarts quiz It doesn't matter what ACTION Classic party tunes The quiz for regulars Win £50 cash or a for the post-match Friday night at the and newcomers party. 9-1 am, dBs union is called - it's Group alike continues 8pm, da Vine, s always cheesy and it today. Standing Rm Only always sounds the ICU Community Action 7pm Southside bar RAG England v Scotland same. The bar opens at Group URGENTLY NEEDS 0. JCR 5.00 and the pre- match build-up com MINIBUS DRIVERS for the mences at 7.00. Tuesday and Thursday night soup runs. Kung Fu Club Kung Fu Club Archery Fencing Club CAG PhotoSoc (Wu Shu Kwan) {Wu Shu Kwan) 6 lOprn, Po'iectile Union Gym, 1 2pm Soup run, 8.15pm a, i. pm Southside Gym '..!-.*: Cv":": Centre) Week's Basement So if you're over 21, have been driving in 4:30pm - 6:30pm 4-30pm - 6:30pm Wine Tasting the UK for at least 2 years, and can spare a 6pm, dB's ICU Choir Rehearsal, 6.1 5pm couple of hours on Tuesday or Thursday Canoe Club Room 342, Mech evenings, then ... Practice session, 7pm Eng.

CAG Contact Nada at [email protected] Soup run, 8.1 5pm

CARWASH (o >Lon- Comedy Store, Boom or Bust @ Space @Bar @ Sneaker Pimps @ don Astoria Piccadilly Circus Project Club Rhumba £3 B4 11 Wembley Arena ULU £8.50 ACCESS FUNDS Glamorous di sro and Cheapish entry on a Free entry B4 1 1 pm. Deep- tech- disco- E35-25 Sure to be fantastic. funk dub, aim d for a Sunday. Drinks £1 each, usual funky-house grooves. Do not miss. AUTUMN TERM 1999 Music lough mix of music, Excellent night. Full-time home students (including EU students registered as "home" for fees purposes) are Bowfinger The Out of Towners Random Hearts East is East Ride with the Devil Ratcatcher Fight Club An all star cast of c A.'C'f:'*, C\V" y The new Harrison invited to apply for Access Funds this round. Comedy set m early Epic of the American Set in 70's Glasgow Violent, bloody, Brad comedy greats. 'Pre on1-..o'Kri i. Ford flick opens on Civil War, huge critical about a bloke who Pitt stars in this rec posterous and utterly the 19th. sucess. feels guilty about ommended film self-absorbed.' Undergraduate students should note that Film family/ - -: " \> ' killing his pal. Trocadero Empire. Virgin Fulham Rd. applications can only be accepted from those 4.00, 6.30 9.00 ,-...2C -.3-5 2.10, 5.30, 8.30 12.30, 2.40, 4.50 4.00, 7.00, 9.20 who have taken out a student loan this session. First and second year undergraduates are also Casualty EastEnders A river runs Embarrasing The Big Match Who wants to be Top of the Pops required to apply for an additional hardship loan. 8 05, BBC 1 omnibus through it llnesses 7.30, ITV a millionaire? 7.30, CI ": . . :' 1.00, BBC 1 10.00, C4 8.30. C4 England and Scot 8.00; ITV More cheesy chart has to offer - stay in Catch up on the Brad Pitt stars in an land battle it out in a Chris Tarrant makes hits from the coun Forms are available from Student Finance Office TV and watch pretend ever popular soap. 'unexceptional' fami Euro 2000 qualifier. some more people try's top ten. .-.b-rfois. (334, Sherfield Building, South Ken) or /CU ly drama. Reception (South Ken). Contact Student Finance Higher than Artists book fair (x. 58010), Kevin Butcher (x.58064) or Martin Some explicit Mnemonic King Lear Resident Alien Babel polaroids Riverside Studios Bnrhirnn Thomson (x.48067). The Bridewell The three day event New Ambasadors A new show about About the scientist's - A refreshing play that place and memory role in society. Fin Arts tackles many issues previews today. th ishes today. Closing Date: 19 November including socialism. eccentric. Finishes Friday. 32 Crossword Felix 15 November 1999 The Felix Crossword, by Turnip Henry

Across Down 3. Vehicle hits dogs on 1. Spice Spice. (6) the floor. (7) 2. Chocolate god. (4) 8. Married barber. (6) 3. Tasty speaker. (4) 9. Girl's songs, perhaps. 4. O no! Point to glass. (4)

(6) 5. Stuart can keep the 10. Playing Sega for rhythm. (4) years. (4) 6. 1.3 yards by 4 metres. 1 1. Old Etonian mixes (4) Latin. Joy! (7) 7. Two men please Victo 14. Copies monkeys. (4) ria. (6) 15. Walk to the stars. (4) 12 Sail round a nick 1 7. Fall ill in fang. Not name. (5) doing very well. (7) 1 3. Silly person 1 do con- 19. Sounds like hitting a fuse in it. (5) symbol. (4) 15 "Bird-seed", Edward sang. (7) 21. Walkthrough band. 16 Vital beans. (7) (5) 17 Arranger has lillies or 22. Only a butcher has roses, initially, in fist. (7) the stomach for it. (5) 18 Go South around 23. Animal sounds false. Beatle to be non-Mex (4) icans. (7) 24. Signal to a swell. (5) 19. Berry we mistakenly 25. Cuttings are missing used to make beer. (7) from step backwards. 20. Mistake love in Alistair (5) for breathing. (7) 27. Disagree about 26. Used to suck warts up. (5) ague? Right. (5) 27. A goddess of art will 28. Ineffectual clothes. (4) entertain. (5) 30. Bits of trouser for the 29. A church in Rome books. (4-3) Answers to 1156: looks after orphan. (6) 31. Spiritual bear. (4) 32. RAG up amd left Across: Deserts, Earlobes, A Long Time Ago, Jacob, Talent, Intoner, Orator, Bandicoot, 33. Race around a field imperial because of a Newsagent, Ticket, Inhabit, Quiche, Euler, Aphrodisiacs, Admitted, Totters. (4) plant? (6) Down: Doorjamb, Rhombi, Signet, Eliminate, Llama, Senator, Ancient China, Over The 35. Sellers of birds? (7) 34. Eastern study is like Hills, Trotski, Necktie, One-Handed, Thermals, Tequila, Bedsit, Tenant, Hi-Hat. 38. Compain to the fish. the garden. (4) (4) 35. Emotion from going 39. Process summary. (6) quickly; not south. (4) 40. Build iota up. Par 36. Bend perversion. (4) adise. (6) 37. Bullet for garden pest? 41 . Calling forth bit of (4) evolving monarch. (7) 38. Cut up pork. (4)

And the winner is.

Back in Issue 1 154 Felix gave you bona fide Imperial College stu the chance to win a pair of Euro- dents. And their names? They were lines one month coach passes (or indeed are): around Europe. A massive number of people entered the contest, and, Terrence Choi finally, the winners can be & announced. Michelle Choi

But first, the answers. Some JUIOH'S fXHHJ COACH HtlWOSK what unsurprisingly, every single Congratulations - please come to entry that I saw got the answers responses : So, now that's out of the way, the Felix office (situated in the por- right (which may have had some The capital of Hungary is down to the important stuff - the tacabins outside of the Physics thing to do with the fact that they Budapest. winners identities. Well, after apply department, hidden behind the liq were contained in the accompany A Eurolines pass starts at an ing the wondrous invention that is uid nitrogen tank) or email the edi ing blurb - see, your teachers were unbelievably cheap £159 if the official Felix winnerometer™, I tor [ [email protected] ] so that we can right, reading is important). Any you're under 26. was stunned to discover that the arrange for you to to receive your how, just in case you're still interest Gothenberg is situated in Swe winner wasn't someone from the prizes. For more chances to win, ed, I was looking for the following den office, and was in fact a pair of see page 22. 15 November 1999 Felix Clubs & Societies 33 Team Bo

Bo Goes to Brighton '99 Unfortunately Paul made full use of his pilot like reactions and very lit At the crack of dawn the intrepid tle use of the brakes. He is yet to two, Paul and Mark, got out of bed understand that ninety-seven year and headed for the Bo' [short for old cars are not meant to out Boangeres, City & Guilds College accelerate and overtake modern Union's motorised mascot] vehicles. garage. Last Sunday was the After a remarkably smooth trip, biggest day of Bo's year, the Bo' arrived in Brighton to be greet Brighton run. ed by a Boomalaka. This year all Along with five hundred other the motorized mascots made it to veteran cars, Bo' headed to Hyde Brighton and the RSM even joined Park and the starting line. Paul C&G for dinner. Copious quanti knew he had forgotten something ties of wine were drunk, especially until a silver car suddenly pulled up by Mike the Derrick rider. The sto in front of him. Out jumped Profes ries of his hangover will be leg sor Briscoe, the Dean of C&G. No endary. wonder Bo' was going so well - Thanks should be extended to we'd forgotten the passenger. Paul the Bo' driver and Mike the Eight o'clock was Bo's starting Derrick rider for al! their work in time and he set off from the start getting the vehicles ready, Profes line doing his own impression of twenty-five years between the con I believe the Dean would like sor Briscoe for being willing to nine three-legged horses in an struction of the two mascots, they to say the journey was uneventful. spend the day freezing in the back attempt to catch up with Clem, the had learnt how to make engines - What he did say is he was of Bo' and Stuart Hamilton for RSM mascot. Unfortunately in the so Bo' had no chance. impressed with Bo's road holding. organising a fantastic dinner.

iCU Jazz and Rock presents... IMPERIAL'S NEW SPORTS CENTRE TEXKET ian cauldwell (the director of ic's estates division) and a representative of the sports centre will present the college's plans - which have recently received SOUL DOUBT planning permission - and will answer any questions relating to the project

although representatives of the clubs affected by the programme are ALONE IN A GOOLESS UNIVERSE particularly welcome, all students are invited to attend (and out of "shake and vac")

when : 12pm, thursday 18 november In DBs on : where : union dining hall (on the th first floor of the union building) Thursday 18 November

contact tim trailor First band on stage @8pm [ [email protected] ] for details FREE!!!!!! 34 Sport Felix 15 November 1999 Reserves show the rest how it's done

Football - 5ths and 6ths

Sat 6th Nov 1999 again but failed to break through. School Of Pharmacy 1 now clicked into gear with great UCL VI 1 Instead, Animesh, with Rival- IC V 3 midfield work from JP in particular. IC VI 8 doesque brilliance ran from His reward was a chance to pick halfway (with the ball for once!), After a midweek break for the up the ball on right, drive infield, This fixture saw the return of the thrust through the hole in their back team, with no match on Wednes and let fly a fantastic shot which mighty sixths to the ground where line and lobbed his shot over the day, it was back to the serious sailed over the keeper into the far we thrashed the UCL whipping keeper into the net. Another own business of the league on Satur corner for a man-of-the-match boys 7 - 1 in the cup last season. goal put us 5 up and the game lost day. winning goal, and it was 2-0. The journey was a contest in itself - al! edge. With 20mins to go, James With a record of 2 wins, 1 loss More was to come, as Dino's per a breakdown in communication left decided to start playing and scored so far, we needed to put together sistence on the left led to a sharp us without a keeper. The match a hatrick. Blatantly offside (their ref. a run of victories to climb the cross to the centre, where "Space started untidily, with the wind and was awful) for his first, no. two table. SOP were last year's whip man" Lovell waited to apply an wet pitch causing problems for came from smart play by Matt on ping boys, losing all but 2 of their expert finish for 3-0. both sides. Mark, our new midfield the left, who, abng with Rob and games, so we fancied our We were now cruising, and er (and a games editor of this Luis, worked hard all game even chances of boosting that goal dif thought the game was won by half esteemed paper, might I add) fero though out of position. Before no. ference. time. Unfortunately we took our ciously went for the bob... knees of 3, they pulled one back. A long ball After taking 2 hours by foot off the pedal, and in the sec their players, sliding in from all from the back went over the other minibus to travel from South Ken ond half it was all SOP, with only angles and nearly always winning wise excellent centre back pairing to Turkey Street, just by the M25 great work by Buzz Foster at left the ball! After probing their box of the two Alex's to first-rate stand in in North London, we were in no back, along with Dij, skippy and several times, IC scored albeit by keeper Leon. The slippery wet ball mood to slip up, and started the Dave preventing more than the an own goal from a Dan M cross. fell from his gloveless hands into the game brightly with skippy return one SOP header. So, a disap We scored again soon afterwards, path of their onrushing striker who ing to Centre Back while Sol was pointing result in the end, as we a Dan W penalty from a foul on gently stroked it in. Furious at this away, giving "tiger" Rob free reign just never got started after the Dan M. OK, so perhaps we had lapse, Alex Jekyll n' Hyde went in at right back. This soon proved to break. 3 points, but standards been lucky so far but our third was search of a goal, steaming forward be a great move, with the 1 st goal need to go higher if promotion is pure class, Dan M passed to Dan like Jonah Lomu but getting coming from Dino' head, the age going to look likely. Luckily, a W who flicked it back and the shot nowhere before James sealed it ing beast feeding off a great cross lovely warm 5th team bath after the game helped keep spirits hit the top corner. In the second with his third, a simple nutmeg and from Tiger, which left their keeper high... half the Dan and Dan show started the last kick of the game. flapping and helpless. 1 -0. IC Ultimate projectile is force to be reckoned with

Ultimate Frisbee

Friendly Fire Tournament three points on the trot. Jez kindly on their 50th attempt, they finally adoring fans with some storming made an appearance, and with managed to huck it into the end play and solid defence. They didn't Wednesday 3rd November saw the brushes firmly fixed in our minds, zone for a point. stand a chance, perhaps a little first games of the new year for the we finished whitewashing Kings, unfair but we still managed a win DiscDoctors (the Imperial College taking them apart with 1-2 com The Lightside with the final score 1 2 - 7 to the Ultimate Frisbee team) in the form bos from "Waterboy" and Worship Lightside. of a friend!y fire tournament at Me. We finally beat them 1 3-6. Our first match of the day was Our final and most challeng Regents Park. Kings and UCL UCL were up next. "Jabba the against UCL. Within the first half ing match was against ourselves stepped up to play, and as there Tat" kept up his extremely solid hour we were up 5 - 0. The arriva! (?). OK against the Darkside. With were so many of us, we split into and tight defence, with "The Ital of Catch started our plummet to Astro-fuck having gone to work we two teams - a Darkside, and a ian Stallion", although new was the depths of despair. Within 15 were forced to pay iron-man (no Lightside. making some very tasty cuts from minutes we were level at 7 all, how subs). We started off well, but real the stack and was rewarded with could we be doing so badly? After ly couldn't be arsed. The final

The Darkside some nice passes to him. The an hour the game was capped at straw came when Baby subbed off hammering of UCL was short and 1 1 points, with the score 10-9 to injured and in the true spirit of the

The Darkside played Kings first, sweet, and although we didn't UCL. All we needed was 2 straight game they gave us their Waterboy whose recent addition was an ex bagel them, we still trounced them points to seal victory. The first as a replacement. With that we Discdoctors player (and ISE stu 13-4. came from a quick response to our quit with the score at 6 - 2 to the dent). We opened with a gorgeous Finally, before it got too dark impending doom. But their Darkside. response was just too good and cut from Martin into the opposi to play, we played the Lightside. A special mention has to go out they stole the game from us. 1 1 - tions' end zone. Unfortunately Although not really a match, we to Constant Pressure who coura 10 to UCL. Kings replied with two cheeky still beat them 6-2, and Worship geously managed 5 minutes of a points. The Darkside felt they had Me and Martin demonstrated that The second match was against match, then adopted his position of had their chance and promptly took practice makes perfect, because Kings. We didn't disappoint our the month - the sideline. 15 November 1999 Felix Sport 35 (continued from back page) IC edge J^gy C^ggj a lightning start with a hat trick m$\\nn within the first twenty minutes. All Holloway ' 5_ three goals illustrated his goal scoring prowess but the pick of the Football ICSM Football bunch was the third set up by an unselfish pass off the goal post by IC I 1 Carried over from Saturday all over the place. Jez Welch led Geography teacher. Royal Holloway I 0 30/10/99 (sorry for the delay) the way by flying in where angels The team the relaxed expecting fear to tread, and was ably fol a walkover but were broken up by Another day, another game and RUMS 1 lowed by the rest of his team a textbook short corner by the another victory for the mighty ICSM I 3 mates who showed the passion opposition. From the restart IC firsts. The fine form of recent and teamwork that has been a were back into action and attack weeks continued straight from the ICSM continued their winning defining feature of the season so ing form as the Geography teacher kick off. Resolute defending, fine streak by beating RUMS at Turkey far. got the just deserts for his phenom passing in the midfield and varied Street. Formed as a result of the The ICSM defence fared well enal midfield vision and individual movement from . the forwards merger between Royal Free and against a potent attack and Eam- skill with a hat trick forever logged combined to leave the boys from UCH, RUMS had the capability to mon Rabie in particular helped in all our minds. After a textbook Holloway in a daze. Early in the provide tricky opposition. Howev neuter the RUMS strikers. The short corner strike, our main man second half, with the wind in our er, ICSM had the upper hand in ICSM team lost its way somewhat dribbled past 5 men and struck the sails, Foulstone whipped in a cor the first half and took the lead as the game degenerated into a ball firmly past the keeper into the ner that found the boot of Rich. after some clever wing play result physical battle, but then wrapped ed in Jonathan Kennedy putting in the game up with 20 minutes left left corner. The crowd went wild The resulting shot curled past the an excellent cross for Kash Akhtar as Kash Akhtar pounced on a and girls started throwing their bemused Holloway keeper into to head home. The lead was dou fumble by the RUMS keeper and knickers on the field, as Geogra the roof of the net. The team bled 10 minutes later when Jere back heeled the ball beyond the phy teacher came back to strike his maintained its impenetrable my Welch pounced on a loose despairing defenders into the net. third. Giles tamely scored a sev integrity until the final whistle, ball after a corner and thundered enth, roofing the ball into the net. holding out for a fine victory. RUMS scored a solitary goal home from close range. A sensational team perform This result leaves the firsts in a near the end after a goalmouth ance worthy of the scoreline strong position in the BUSA The game became a lot more scramble, but by then ICSM had against a fired and organised league: Bring on the rest of the physical in the second half with the game wel! and truly in the team. country! lots of late tackles flying in from bag. IN BRIEF

Ladies Rugby Netball Tennis Ladies Football

Bart's 0 GKT 25 IO s tennis season began with a IC I 5 IC Virgins walkover ICI 24 disappointing start. Despite QMW I 1 Magic Hani and Captain Julien

Because of our superior skills We arrived at the court just as the displaying great skills in their Our strong 10 player team held And natural ability, this week's rain started. The scene was impressive victories, Olivier and the game well with an excellent Rugby match was the easiest yet. windswept, desolate and the GA Antonis were severely crushed by start and showed domination Tries were was at least 8 foot tall. Great. This Royal Holloway's "bizarre" tal throughout the match. ents. The score was all even Scored left, right and centre, meant that Rachel had no chance Helga von Crick, Hedge, again after the doubles but the set With every player of getting rebounds and therefore Hard Kaur and Frenchie were lost in one of the doubles proved In the squad scoring Alex had the novel task of marking dazzling in defence and midfield to be fatal. Multiple points and no injuries. both the GS and the GA in the cir ers 'Dumb and Dumber', Girl Passing skills greatly improved, cle. Well done Alex. At half time Final Score: IC 3-3 RHUL but friend and The Mayor showed Enabling a fine performance. the scores were evens. But then the RHUL won 7-6 in sets. continuous skill. It didn't take Dropped balls were a thing curse of the third quarter struck Match 2 of IC's campaign much for the talented Clark Kent Of the past - all that training hey! again and we fell behind 15-22 quickly turned into a nightmare for to beat the (larger than life) Unfortunately, we couldn't stay out with 15 minutes to go. Some fab UCH. Fielding the same team that QMW defenders. Her 2 added to The Mayors first goal of the sea There all day. Lots of love Bart's. ulous play from the girls in the had lost 6-0 last year, UCH were son meant we were 3 nil up at We kicked your butts!!I centre (Dorothy, Becky and Paula) once more whitewashed. Playboy half time. Clark's final goal was and some hot shooting from those Chris and our German prodigies shortly followed by a lucky shot starlets Rebekah and Sarah saw us Jan and Christoph each thrashed from the opposition but Jazzy Jeff Sports reports. pull it back. Next week we're their opponents, dropping only brought the score to 5-1, finally trekking out to Wye.. .fingers one game each. Medic Jason decided to do the same only after striking on target. Goalie G'n' T Wednesday evening. crossed. having lost the first set. In doubles, held her ground well with her our German duo crushed their excellent dives saving the day. Or you team Sports players beware! opponents while Stuart and Remy Felix's crack team of sports It was a tres magnifique per finished the job with a clean 6-0, won't be in. reporters will be at Harlington formance all round and The 6-0. on Wednesday - so wear your Shady Ladies walked away with Simple as that. best kit! Final Score: IC 6-0 UCH style. 36 Sport Felix 15 November 1999 SPORT SCOREBOARD Imperial rack up the points BADMINTON Rugby IC 1 st 5-2 UCL 1st

Sponsored by ^ALTRAN FENCING IC Men 24 - 3 Kings IC I 30 taking in too many salty sub- that is good about the game of IC Women 7-11 Kings University of Essex 0 stances. IC 2nd XV still prove to be rugby. Right from the start the IC a force to be reckoned with, run- pack were rampant, untamed and FOOTBALL (Mens) Another day, another set of victims. ning some flowing play just after wild! RUMS clearly had no answer IC 1st XI 1-0 RHUL 1st XI After two hours on the coach, the kick off that even the All-blacks to the "witchcraft-like" skills of IC. IC 2nd XI 4 - 2 RHUL 2nd XI boys were slow starting and the for- would have been proud of, before The first try came from an inspira- IC 3rd XI 4 - 0 Barts wards never really got it together all our first try was put down in the cor- tional interception from the IC cap- IC 4th XI w/o RUMS game. The first try came after sus- ner. Once first blood had been tain, Dave "Boyo" White with some IC 5th XI 3 - 1 SoP tained pressure with Ricky Martin drawn, the flood gates opened and sexy support play from Sam Bale IC 6th XI 8 - 1 UCL 6th XI diving in at the corner. Then Gayro there was no chance of stopping and Akira. Man of the match scored the first of two tries. Further the indomitable IC war machine, Devon rampaged over from the ICSM 1 st 3-1 RUMS 1 st scores from Wonderboy Willis and with the score at half time being far resulting scrum. The floodgates Gayro again completed a disap- too large to count. Second half then opened and IC pulled away, FOOTBALL (Womens) pointing but workmanlike victory. started in much the same vain with Halftime came upon us unexpect- IC XI 5-1 QMW XI They were a bunch Essex wideboys IC continuing their merciless romp edly due to the shortened match but we stole the keys to their Escorts to victory. Tries came from Alessan- length. HOCKEY (Mens) and shagged their women. Nice dro, Rich, Frank, Jan, Matt and a Throughout the second half the IC 1st XI 1-1 GKT 1st XI one. couple each from Nick, Texz and pack were dominant with some IC 2nd XI 7 - 3 RHUL 2nd XI Huy. Next time we are again on our good lineout play by James Ireland. IC 3rd XI w/o Barts University of Essex 0 travels, this time to raid Norwich's Little opposition was offered by the IC II 63 UEA with more tries to follow. floundering RUMS midfield and the NETBALL Watch this space. tries were scoring themselves. A IClstXI 24 - 25 GKT After a two hour coach journey, we total of eleven in all coming from arrived in some god-forsaken hell IC III 69 Devon(3), Ollie(2), Paul(2), RUGBY (Mens) hole in the depths of Essex. IC took RUMS III 0 James(l), Akira(l), Dave(l), Stu- IC 1 st XI 32-0 Essex 1 st XI to the field with some notable art(l). James Welch slotted over 7 IC 2nd XI 63-0 Essex 2nd XI absentees including Gl Tim, who On the 10th of November, Harling- conversions in windy conditions, IC 3rd XI 69-0 Essex 3rd XI had a dodgy stomach due to par- ton witnessed a celebration of all Nice! RUGBY (Womens) IC XV w/o Barts XV

Hockey: Firsts draw, seconds win VOLLEYBALL IC Men KCL IC Women 3 0 KCL Hockey TENNIS IC I 1 After an inspirational half time So there we go, a 1 -1 draw. But IC Men 6-0 UCH GKT 1 talk, the team decided to play! the mens 1 sx XI are still unbeaten IC Women 4-2 UCL Some good attacking play by and going strong in BUSA. Role on Turning up an hour and a half Jambo, Herpes, Pink Gash and UCL and the medics, before the game we had plenty of 11 + saw IC unlucky not to take the time to talk about team plays and lead at the start of the 2nd half. IC II 7 tactics. However, after a few min- This bad luck contrived with a RHC 3 utes we had returned to the village shortie blown as the ball went into style hockey seen in the first game the back of the net. The seconds built on recent form of the season. But luckily, after a Their keeper's good form con- with a convincing win which G.Minger own goal we saw some tinued as he saved Pink Gash's ensures a top spot finish in their champagne, 1 1 + giving us the deflection with his armpit and 2 BUSA merit league with a game to equaliser courtesy of Jambo just minutes of shot stopping even spare. Bermuda triangle provided before half time. though he didn't realise it. (continued p35 col. 1)