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Final Thesis Mth Angus Kelly

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Final Thesis Mth Angus Kelly Is that your (real) child? Adoption: The Sacrament of Belonging By Rev Angus Kelly Supervisor: Prof Dion Forster Faculty of Theology Department of Systematic Theology and Ecclesiology March 2020 Stellenbosch University https://scholar.sun.ac.za Declaration By submitting this thesis electronically, I Angus Kelly declare that the entirety of the work contained therein is my own, original work, that I am the sole author thereof (save to the extent explicitly otherwise stated), that reproduction and publication thereof by Stellenbosch University will not infringe any third-party rights and that I have not previously in its entirety or in part submitted it for obtaining any qualification. Signature: Angus Kelly Date: March 2020 Copyright © 2020 Stellenbosch University All Rights Reserved i Stellenbosch University https://scholar.sun.ac.za Abstract Is it possible to call the relationship between adoptive parents and adopted children real in the sense that a sacrament is real? This study is a reflection on Kelley Nikondeha’s book Adopted: The Sacrament of Belonging in a Fractured World (2017). Through qualitative analysis and reflection on available media and literature this study will explore: a) Some of the circumstances that lead to relinquishment through abortion, and abandonment, or to belonging through foster care and adoption in South Africa. b) Perceptions and ethical controversies related to the history and practice of transcultural and international adoptions. Through theological analysis and reflection on literature suited to the South African context it will explore the narrative aspects of Desmond Mpilo Tutu’s Ubuntu theology and practice and Methodist Theological Ethics as described by Stanley Hauerwas and D Stephen Long (2011). Exploration of these theological frameworks will yield three connecting themes namely blessing, belonging and progressing outlining a theology characterised by a positive ontology, an inclusive ethic and imminent eschatology. This framework of blessing, belonging and progressing will be used as a lens through which to reflect on Kelley Nikondeha’s narrative in order to understand the possibility of calling ‘the relationship between adopted parents and adopted children real in the sense that a sacrament is real’. ii Stellenbosch University https://scholar.sun.ac.za Opsomming Is dit moontlik om die verhouding tussen aanneem ouers en hulle aangenome kinders wesenlik te noem op dieselfde manier as wat ‘n sakrament as wesenlik beskou word? Hierdie studie is ‘n besinning oor Kelley Nikondeha’s se boek, Adopted: The Sacrament of Belonging in a Fractured World (2017). Deur middel van kwalitatiewe ontleding en nadenke oor beskikbare media en literatuur wil hierdie studie die volgende verken: a) die omstandighede wat lei tot die afgee van kinders as gevolg van aborsie en verlating, sowel as pleegsorg en aanneming in Suid-Afrika; en b) die perspektiewe en etiese kontroversies in verband met die geskiedenis en praktyke van transkulturele en internasionale aannemings. Deur middel van teologiese analise en nadenke oor literatuur van toepassing op die Suid-Afrikaanse konteks, beoog die studie om die narratiewe aspekte van Desmond Mpilo Tutu’s Ubuntu theology and practice en Methodist Theological Ethics soos beskryf deur Stanley Hauerwas en D Stephen Long (2011) te ondersoek. Die verkenning van hierdie teologiese raamwerke sal drie aansluitende temas oplewer, naamlik seën, behoort en vordering belyn met 'n teologie wat gekenmerk word deur 'n positiewe ontologie, 'n inklusiewe etiek en ‘n immanente eskatologie. Hierdie raamwerk van seën, behoort en vordering, sal gebruik word as 'n lens om na te dink oor Kelley Nikondeha se narratief, om sodoende die verhouding tussen aanneem ouers en hulle aangenome kinders moontlik te verstaan as wesenlik, net soos wat ‘n sakrament wesenlik is. iii Stellenbosch University https://scholar.sun.ac.za Dedication This work is dedicated to my family: First to my wife Heather and our children Zachari and Emily. They teach me daily what it means to be blessed with love and hope, to belong unconditionally in the easy times and the hard times and to progress determinedly along life’s surprising journey. Second it is dedicated, to my mother, father, brother and sister you are the family that formed me, taught me to ask questions and instilled in me a passion for wisdom and knowledge. Our house was always filled with books and my parents have been very patient with me in my studies especially when I was younger and still discovering my vocation. Which brings me to my larger church family in which I now minister, from my baptism at St Catherine’s in Johannesburg to my teenage years at Vincent Methodist Church in East London, my student years at Rosebank Methodist, Coronation Avenue Methodist, Wynberg Methodist, Potchefstroom Methodist and John Wesley College in Pretoria. And then my years as a probationer minister in the Paarl Valley Circuit where Zachari and Emily were baptized by my colleagues Rev Anele Bonoyi and Rev Zamani Sikupela and my children were raised in the Sunday School. With my larger church family I also want to dedicate this to the celebration of our newly inducted woman bishops Rev Yvette Moses & Rev Purity Malinga. As I write I am a minister in the Cape West Coast Circuit serving at the Table View Methodist Church. My colleagues in the circuit and my congregation at Table View Methodist and in the Wesley Guild have been very patient with me while I study. This thesis is dedicated to all of the above and especially dedicated to adoptive and relinquishing mothers and fathers and adopted children. To those who mourn their loss through relinquishment, may you be comforted. To those who celebrate love and belonging in adoption goodness, may you be blessed. And finally, as I pray every Sunday: “May the words of my mouth (or word processer), and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight O Lord.” - God is love - iv Stellenbosch University https://scholar.sun.ac.za Acknowledgements When I submitted my proposed topic for the Church of Sweden bursary application I really didn’t expect to be accepted. When I received notification to say that I could begin my studies I thought it was an administrative error. I would like to thank the Church of Sweden for this visionary project. I hope that my academic work here and ministry to the church will honour your gift. I’d like to thank my Professor Dion Forster for believing in me and guiding me patiently in my reading. Thank you too, to all the staff at the Stellenbosch University Theology faculty for the friendly way in which you serve all your students, your gifts of hospitality made me feel like I belong. I feel I must also acknowledge Kelley Nikondeha, the author of Adopted: The Sacrament of Belonging for helping me to see adoption in a new way. Your book is an open window into your heart and your experience. My work in this paper is just a map, a two-dimensional exploration of the multi-dimensional landscape you have described. v Stellenbosch University https://scholar.sun.ac.za Table of Contents ABSTRACT ................................................................................................................................................................................................ II OPSOMMING ........................................................................................................................................................................................... III DEDICATION ........................................................................................................................................................................................... IV ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ............................................................................................................................................................................ V TABLE OF CONTENTS ............................................................................................................................................................................. 1 CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION TO THE STUDY ......................................................................................................... 4 1.1 IS THAT YOUR (REAL) CHILD? ........................................................................................................................................................ 4 1.2 LIMITATIONS OF METAPHORS, HELPFULNESS OF SACRAMENTS ............................................................................................. 7 1.2.1 A Faith-filled / Methodist / Sacramental / Ubuntu Ontology ............................................................................. 8 1.2.2 A Life of Beatitude and Ngumuntu Lowo .................................................................................................................. 10 1.2.3 Conclusion ............................................................................................................................................................................... 11 1.3 PRIMARY RESEARCH QUESTION: ................................................................................................................................................ 12 1.3.1 Secondary Themes ............................................................................................................................................................... 12 1.4 METHODOLOGY .............................................................................................................................................................................
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