28/02/02 The University of Surrey Students’ Newspaper www.ussu.co.uk Issue no: 1027 FREE UniS or Uni$? - Accomodation Price Accelerator Exposed - Page 3

News In Brief BY MICHAEL CHAMBERS

Train Disaster Kills 373

An electrical short-circuit was to blame for a devastating fire which swept through an Egyptian NO express train, killing 373 people. The train was packed to twice its capacity when it caught fire shortly after leaving Cairo for Luxor last Wednesday. The cause of the accident was initially believed to be the responsibility of passengers using portable cookers, however this theory was SURRENDER virtually ruled by evidence of electrical circuit fail- ure in one of the passenger carriages. Investigators found that carriages were not equipped with fire alarms, extinguishers, or emergency brakes or windows. Egyptian president, Honi Mubarak, has tried to reduce the public’s anger over the disaster Reuben Thompson ON FEES by promising to punish anyone found to have been negligent. Egypt’s Transport Minister and the head News and Political Editor of the country’s railway authority both resigned last Friday. Nearly 200 bodies were identified and On Wednesday, a group of thirty stu- taken away by relatives for private burials, but dents accompanied by sabbaticals John many of the remains were beyond recognition. A mass funeral for the unidentified victims was held Geeson and James Buller attended over the weekend. this years’ NUS national rally with a total group of over 7,000 students. Byers Under Pressure To Resign Participants had been told to wear red UK Transport Secretary Stephen Byers was under to show just how angry students are at pressure to resign this week following the contro- having to put up with living below the versy surrounding the resignations of transport poverty line. communications director Martin Sixsmith and special adviser Jo Moore, announced by Mr. Byers Once again, the Surrey group was on the 15th of February. Mr Sixsmith insists he did (marginally) late and joined the march not agree to go in the first place and was promised towards the back, but still had an excel- no announcement by Mr Byers. According to Mr. lent opportunity to help make the posi- Byers, Mr. Sixmith had to leave as a result of his dealings with Ms Moore, who was Mr Byers’ tion clear on student funding: it’s not personal spin doctor. On the 11th September, Ms fair and it’s not good enough. Moore sent an e-mail suggesting to colleagues it Chanting and mocking the govern- was a good day to “bury” bad news, she apologised, ment were the order of the day, with kept her job and the row dissipated. Recently, on the 14th of February, Ms Moore sent an e-mail to new chants for this year including the Mr Sixsmith proposing that news about the poor inspired “Hey, Tony!” to the tune of DJ state of transport be released on the day of Princess Otzi’s inspired pop hit “Hey, Baby”. Margaret’s funeral - she initially denied the e-mail. Having made its way through the city, Byers said he regretted giving the impression dur- ing a television interview on Sunday that he had the march assembled in Trafalgar Square The NUS Team Get Involved played no role in the discussions leading up to the where the crowd was addressed by several the NATFE union, who represent a large deciding the fate of a whole new genera- departure of Mr Sixsmith, when in fact he had. He important speakers—Ken Livingstone, number of lecturers. At every mention of tion of students.” said “I am clear that Martin Sixsmith, in the way that he conducted himself in the department, was the mayor of London; David Rendel, the the Prime Minister’s name, there were At present, the government is plan- not a suitable person to remain in government”. Lib Dem spokesman; and the head of shouts of “Tory” and “Traitor”. ning a major review of student funding The Prime Minister, who had talks with Mr. Finance sabb in England and Wales, and is widely Byers on Tuesday, has dismissed Mr. Sixsmith’s John Geeson expected to introduce not only some form allegations that the Transport Secretary lied over his resignation, and has expressed his support for commented, “It’s of top up grant for the very poor, but also Mr. Byers. Theresa May, the Opposition transport great that we can commercial interest on Student Loans. spokeswoman said “Just what does it take for all stand together This could mean that instead of a real you to go? You are content to stay at any price, a despised secretary of state that no-one trusts and united against the terms zero increase in your borrowing as no-one will deal with”. system, where we happens now (we simply pay inflation), can make a big you could be charged the same kind of Regulars impact.” rate that parents pay on mortgages. News 1-3 NUS President To sum up, let’s not forget what Ken Letters 4 Owain James Livingstone said at last year’s march: Barearts 6-12 said “It is vital “Not one MP in the House of Commons Services 14 that students keep paid for their University education. Let’s Sport 16 pressure on those not let them pull the ladder up behind at the top who, them.” ultimately, will be USSU students get involved 2 News 28/02/02

Editorial Team To Pay Or Not To Pay... Editor Tristan O’Dwyer ...that is the cliche Deputy Editor Richard Watts Following the march in London this week, we offer two different approaches to the ‘problem’ that is “tuition fees” News and Political Editor Last week’s march Let’s first deal with the idealism. I believe that leads to many potentially talented individuals Reuben Thompson in London sent a education is not a commodity and it should not only missing out on an opportunity of their Music Editor clear message to not be seen as an “investment” in order to help own, but also society missing out on the use of Kevin Marston the Government. get a better paid job. Human kind has always that individuals talents. Film Editor Students should not been curious, and society should be encourag- There is also the issue of research. With Navroop Sehmi Sports Editor have to pay tuition ing this, rather than saying that it should have a mounting debts, it will become increasingly Dave Chapman fees. But it’s not cost. Higher education should be seen as some- hard to persuade people to stay in higher edu- Production Editor only students who thing that people go into because they want to cation and take on Phds. This could potentially Vacant believe this. The learn more about what interests them and about lead to a big drop in quality and amount of Features Editor governments big- how the world works. By charging people to fundamental research being carried out, which, Vacant Tristan O’Dwyer gest criticism on go to University you take away this impres- in time could again lead to the country and the Arts Editor the doorstep from sion and people will only go to University for world missing out on some potentially useful Vacant Editor students and non- selfish reasons – to get a degree and earn more discoveries. students alike, at money than the next man! With the government wanting 50% of school Contributors the last election was of its handling of student However, there are also many pragmatic leavers to enter H.E. then surely it must realise finance. The Daily Mirror has recently come reasons why I believe paying tuition fees is that its policies on student funding are ludi- out in support of the NUS’ campaign, and counterproductive. First of all, there are many crous, and need looking at urgently. And their [email protected] many leading commentators believe tuition reports that show that people from less well off first priority should be – SCRAP TUITION fees are a bad idea. backgrounds are being put off by the cost of FEES. There are several reasons why I too hold this going to University and by the high debts that view, some idealistic and some pragmatic. many graduates have when they leave. This barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper, published by the University of Surrey Students’ Union Communications Office. A fairly standard reaction to the matter of tui- for higher education (who, generally speaking, about tuition

The views expressed within the paper are those of tion fees is that we should not have to pay them are more than likely paying taxes and work- fees, I find most individual authors, and do not necessarily repre- and that, quite frankly, is that. Though a seem- ing full-time for a living) and the parallels we people are in sent the views of the Editor, the Editorial Board, ingly flawless argument (“why should we have can draw between their lives and ours, let us the latter camp the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the University of Surrey. to pay for education?” etc. etc.) there are a few consider only our own situation and determine and are thus

This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in points that I feel are being over-looked, and it precisely where the majority of our cash goes. arguing for the part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without is these that I would like to share with you. Without even considering tuition fees, we can reintroduction the express permission Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, I think include accommodation, food and entertain- of a grant as of the publisher. it appropriate that we question why we feel we ment as expenses that all need to be accounted opposed to the All submissions must include the author’s name and should not have to pay tuition fees – what fun- for. Taking a very rough estimate of each of abolishment Union or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee of publication. damental reason is there for us to not contribute the above, including the remarkably conserva- of tuition fees. Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not be to the beneficial process that we are under- tive estimate of £20 a week “drinking money”, Therein lies the published. barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions. taking? By the time we have entered higher we find our expenditure from these areas to be problem – what © USSU Communications Office 2001 education, at the age of eighteen or so, we in the region of around £3000, or the majority is it that we are already the beneficiaries of some fourteen of a student loan, if you will. Observing this, are actually Richard Watts Deadline for Publication years of free education (excluding those whose you would expect these outgoings to be the asking for? Deputy Editor Features and Arts: Friday 2pm attendance at a private school was deemed perfect argument for the abolishment of tui- Perhaps our News: Monday 2pm necessary by parents unwilling to accept the tion fees, what with the latter accounting for requirements SubmissionOn disk / email in current schooling system as adequate) and at another £1000 or so on top, but what seems are something we need to address first, then, Word 6.0 Format, Text in Times New no point would we have had to contribute to to be neglected here, and this, I feel, is the before signing any petitions on a website or Roman, size 9.5 font national funds (i.e. paid tax). Quite why we fundamental point of it all, is that the £3000 demonstrating on an “abolishment march.” Let should feel it just, therefore, to claim we should mentioned earlier would still be required, were us ask ourselves the question: do we oppose barefacts receive another four or five years free education we attending university or not. Are people paying money, or paying for education? Union House, from the government (which, after all, is hardly moaning about the principle behind paying for University Of Surrey compulsory) I simply do not know – I find it education, therefore, or for the fact they are Guildford, quite bemusing, in fact, to be perfectly honest. having to increase their expenditure in order to Surrey, Without considering those that did not opt successfully complete a degree? When talking GU2 7XH

Tel: 01483 689275 Fax: 01483 534749 School Of Engineering To Lose Jobs email: [email protected]

Do you have a complaint against this newspaper? In “New Strategy” If you have a complaint about any item BY TRISTAN O’DWYER Applications for engineering across the country have been in sharp de- in this newspaper which contains inac- curacy, harassment, intrusion or dis- Editor cline, decreasing more than 30% in the last five years. However, engineer- crimination write to our editor about it. ing at Surrey will not be entirely scrapped, and new courses which teach The University engineering department is set to make a series of job cuts, broader based skills, such as IT, business management and communica- If you remain dissatisfied please contact UniS has recently announced. tions, will be introduced. The University see this as creating a “new learn- the Press Complaints Commission - an independant organisation established to Currently employing around 140 people, the School of Engineering is ing environment”, which would see a return of the ‘learning by problem uphold an editorial Code of Practice for looking to lose around 20% of its work force, mainly through natural solving’ methods and more group work. A statement embodying the vision the Press. This newspaper will abide by wastage (not replacing retiring staff) and moving staff to other University of the new school has been released: their decision. departments. There is however the prospect that redundancies will need to “To be an Engineering School of the highest international standard which Press Complaints Commission be made, although the University is quick to stress that all will be done to will be regarded as a Centre of Excellence for the education and training 1 Salisbury Square ensure that as many of these will be voluntary as possible. The losses will of engineering students fit for the challenges and opportunities of the 21st London EC4Y 8JB occur across the board, including both academic and support staff. Century and carrying out research of the highest international quality to Telephone: 020 7353 1248 It would appear that the cuts are to be made in response to signs that the serve the needs of a society which is increasingly technologically based Fax: 020 7353 8351 engineering industry is undergoing significant changes. A new “strategy” and environmentally aware.” Printed by South West Wales for engineering at Surrey, launched by Vice-Chancellor Patrick Dowling, As well as losing jobs, the department will be required to reduce the total Publications Ltd, needs to respond to the emerging market, to attract more student applica- space it occupies by 36%, most of which is located in buildings AA and Adelaide Street, Swansea tions (which the University is currently having trouble doing), and to re- AB. Tel: 01792 510000 position engineering research. 28/02/02 3 Shocking Uni$ Car Burns Outside Accommodation AP Building

Price Accelerator BY TRISTAN O’DWYER Editor

A car caught fire on campus outside the AP building on the afternoon of tuesday 26th February. Exposed As ever, Barefacts was quickly on the scene to fin dout what happened. According to a fire officer on the scene a fire burnt in the engione compartment of the Peugeot 205, but the cause was unknown. A bus driver following the car noticed flames coming from the A social exclusion policy? exhaust of the car and flagged down the driver before calling the fire brigade. BY JOHN GEESON Two officers wearing breathing apparatus quickly put the fire out and no one was injured. The VP Finance and Development fire officers were however seriously concerned about the suspension of the car. Apparently a common problem with 205’s, when on fire, is that the suspension can sometimes give was and A recent meeting between sabbaticals and senior university management has uncovered are can come shooting through the bonnet of the car. This can obviuously be quite dangerous, but rather sinister student accommodation policy – the Uni$ student rent price accelerator. The fortunately in this case was not a problem. price accelerator policy is simple: to increase prices of accommodation at double the rate of inflation for the next 5 years.

The policy, which is 4 years old, is set to continue for another five years at the very least. With rent prices in University Court of over £ 303 per month, how much higher can we go? A 15 % increase in the last four years applied to the next four years could see the rents for our en-suite accommodation nearing the £ 350 mark in 2006. Basically, the sky is the limit.

In the University’s defence, they do have their budgets to stick to. Extra money cannot be raised from the University (with Uni$$$ reserves over £112,000,000) as the accommodation office has its money ‘ring fenced’. This means it has to find its own cash for essential main- tenance. And essential maintenance it is, because when you complain to a court attendant that your window is leaking, and they give you a towel, you know there is a problem. As a sab- batical and student representative, I tabled a number of questions to the accommodation bods. They seemed to talk about their budgets a lot, but it is the student budget the matters to me. By affording the extra money in rent, what are we not affording? One less book? Less study time, to work to help cover that extra rent? These are the questions Uni$ need to ask itself when addressing the rather woeful statistic of worst application rate in the whole of the country.

The University is committed to the government policy of ‘Widening (university) Participation’. For this policy to work students from less privileged backgrounds need to attend university for certain government targets to be met. With the shocking University accommodation price accelerator can this be achieved? The answer I feel is obvious. People from less affluent back- Mugabe Planning grounds find themselves socially excluded. Uni$ need to reconsider pricing policy, and it is the student bodies duty and responsibility to shout-out for those priced-out. The Uni$ stance on accommodation pricing is contributing to the already large student debt, going against government policy and scaring potential students away from what could be a “rising star in higher education”. Escape Route

Have your say, Student Council, Thursday 14th March, 1 pm. BY MICHAEL CHAMBERS News Correspondant Kennedy Calls For President Mugabe is believed to be ready to flee Zimbabwe after his private polling predicted he could be defeated in next month’s elections. The ailing 78-year-old has been sounding out some of his African neighbours and his dwindling number of friends abroad about providing him with a safe haven. Fearing his opponents might try to jail him before he had a chance Quick Euro Vote As to slip into exile, Mr Mugabe reluctantly agreed that overtures should be made to opposi- tion rivals. He is said to have asked President Obasanjo of Nigeria to arrange a deal about his future at an extraordinary late-night meeting in Zimbabwe’s capital, Harare, last month, where Morgan Tsvangirai, the presidential candidate for the opposition was present. Mr Party Splits Tvangirai, who has survived several assas- sination attempts, agreed to go to the meet- BY MICHAEL CHAMBERS ing only after he was given guarantees for News Correspondant his own security by President Obasanjo. The deal also guarantees that Mr Mugabe’s wife, Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy is upping pressure for an early Euro referendum by Grace, and his three children can leave, but suggesting a date for the vote for the first time. In a speech on Monday, Mr Kennedy called the opposition leader insists he will ensure for Tony Blair to have the “courage of his convictions” and hold the referendum on 5 June that Mr Mugabe does not take any looted next year. His proposal was announced during the same week that the Britain in Europe group money and treasures with him. At his rallies, released plans for a poll on 1 May 2003. So far the government has only said it will complete Mr Mugabe refuses even to countenance its economic tests for joining the single currency by June next year, Kennedy claims nearly all defeat, but his closest advisers are saying the five economic tests have already been met. He said “There’s every reason to suppose that that despite a campaign of intimidation he is conditions can be met and that we can hold a referendum in 2003”. Mr Kennedy’s comments facing the end of his 22-year rule. Rumours come after a cross-party campaign group said key Lib Dem MPs, including senior figures in circulate in Harare, that Mr. Mugabe ha the the party, were secretly planning to ditch their support for the single European currency. New crew of his presidential helicopter on 24- Europe claimed it had assurances from many Lib Dem MPs that they would back a no vote if a hour standby and the aircraft is parked on the referendum was held in the current parliament. The news maintains rumours of deep divisions lawn of State House should a swift getaway emerging over European policy within the party. Charles Kennedy, in his effort to prevent a be needed. split in the party, wants Britain to join the Euro as soon as possible. 4 Letters and Sex On Campus 28/02/02

Sex On Campus; Episode Two - Life with my other half

Okay I complain about being single all the time, infact some is a good start, and can be rewarded. So if I burn one of the pumps some steel? I thought I was in heaven. people would say that I’m obsessed by the fact. Yes I am four mars bars I’ve eaten today, I can reward myself with I’ve come to a conclusion: healthy living is great. Buying bloody well obsessed. I am not happy being single and hence another. That’s bloody great – cool! my true trouser size is easier. Low fat eating is a good idea I write this article when I could well be down the cinema on Okay to cut a long story short, I went to the gym, after but nice food is fatty. Being single is lonely, but being myself a Sunday evening with all the happy couples, watching some climbing all those bloody stairs, after swiping the damn card is the best company. I know its good to make yourself look drab movie staring George Clooney or Brad Pitt. You’re all for about half an hour before I realised that the machine better, but is it really wise to change so much of yourself fantasizing about them and not your partners, I know! doesn’t work, after getting through the barrage of gym for somebody who doesn’t even exist yet? I don’t think so. I’ve realised something though. I have a part of me (like queens (Or are they the staff?) I managed to get my saggy I want to be able to find somebody who loves me for all my a growing abscess) that needs feeding, cleaning, maintain- ass on the exercise bike. Well the gym was definitely what excess baggage (maybe they could carry some of it for me). ing and being carefully dressed in all the finest attire that the doctor ordered. I was building up a sweat and the blood I don’t want to be in a relationship based on looks alone, as Top Man has to offer. My other half is my FAT! In fact I’m was definitely rushing around certain muscles that have laid we all know looks don’t last, even though Botox is getting sure that the only thing coming between intercourse and me dormant for a while. But fellow students don’t get me wrong, cheaper. What I’m scared of the most though is waking up is the four tyre tracks that seem to inflate every time the it wasn’t the exercise bike making me feel this way (I don’t in a couple of years and not recognising the person in the pump starts to extend (use your imagination people). So I’ve think it was plugged in) it was all the incredibly attractive mirror. I don’t want to be the “other half “. I want to be Alex decided that the fat has to go, and the way I’m gonna do it people in there. I think the air conditioning was working fine who is having a relationship with so and so. The “other half” is by wearing the finest, brightest, strechiest, skimpiest piece but I could still smell the pheromones in the air. I was by so makes the individual not feel complete. I am sure we’ll all of lycra (and no I’m not going to the Elm Tree in town, I’m far the fattest lard arse in there, and some of sights were a still exist during the relationship and after, whether we be fat going to the gym). I’ve had this unisport card in my wallet true shocker. The use of the step machine for example - yes or thin. It doesn’t take a relationship to make us feel whole or and, well, I should at least attempt to use it once this year or it may get you in great shape eventually but man did I see complete, it takes being happy first. Enough said. Until Sex it would have been a complete waste of money, right? I’m some arse wobble. Ladies if haven’t realised it yet, nobody’s on Campus Episode 3. I won’t be seeing you in the gym. sure that burning a few calories a day, building up a sweat, is watching the TV’s (that’s televisions), they’re all looking at gonna be good for my body and my mental health problems the tight ass on the step machine. Men come on, even though Alex Callice. (sorry that’s state, mental state). And if I’m right (like all I couldn’t lift, is there really any need for all that screaming, health magazines write) even the littlest amount of exercise shouting, manly bonding when one of you gets down and

Letters must be received by 5pm on the Friday before publication to guarentee their Letters to the Editor presence in the next newspaper. So there.

Dear Students. bad losses of 1999/2000 and is starting to regain a stronger financial position which Stop, Thief! I have to say I was some what concerned and will allow us to develop the long term direc- saddened to read in last weeks Barefacts that tion of the union and put more money back Dear Editor, they are is inconsiderate members of bar staff a student employed by the Union feels that into students life. We have tried to give (such as the erstwhile letter writer last week) giv- it is acceptable to STEAL from his fellow value for money. All price were reduced in In response to the letter (Issue 1026) complaining ing away free drinks to satisfy their friends. This students. The member of staff who feels that January 2001, and even though our suppliers about beverage prices in the Union I would like to costs us hundreds, if not thousands, of pounds a due to the cost of drinks he can give away have increased their prices to us we have not make a couple of comments. I can honestly say year in lost revenue and is also theft. free drinks is in fact STEALING from 9000+ passed them on. We need the support of every that I don’t know how much we buy our products Adding to this are the irresponsible and reckless students at Surrey. The members of the club student and every member of staff. in for, but I believe that the prices from the sup- individuals who find it necessary to vandalise and own all the stock we hold and that’s every If this THIEF in our midst wants to change pliers have gone up considerably in the last year. deface Union property, repairs are not free and student at Surrey. things they can join club committee (there Before anyone suggests changing suppliers, we someone has to pay the price, unfortunately that Quote: “drinks that are given away by are vacancies) or they can task the president can’t. As a member of the NUS, USSU can only someone is every other user of the facilities. sympathetic staff like myself”. Does this at student council, subject to a vote, to look buy from approved suppliers, these are Scottish If prices are ever to come down then theft from thief give drinks to everyone or only to their into pricing. Not take the law into there own Courage (1664), Bass (Carling, Worthingtons, the bars and vandalism in general need to stop, if friends? hands. Beamish and PPS ), Waverleys (wines and spirits this includes culprits being banned or losing their As for the cost price of Kronenberg being If as this THIEF states “ the current state of and Strongbow (I think – Shaggy will correct jobs then on their own heads be it, it can only lead only 40p that is misleading rubbish. It’s dou- affairs greatly saddens me to a point of almost me if I am wrong!)). I do know the average to a better Union for the rest of us. ble that plus V.A.T. to be added to the selling hatred to the place” he should do his fellow markup (which I shall not divulge as I don’t feel price. Therefore we are left with circa 89p per students and us a favour by resigning. Or is it is information that the general public needs to Yours Faithfully, pint. On top of that we have to run the Union. that to honorable a thing to do in this day and know) and it is not greatly different to any other During happy hour Carling is only £1.20p age? All I can say is that things have a habit Students Union or Public House. Dan Driscoll (USSU Cellar Staff) a pint and £1.59 at other times. I don’t feel of coming out and these people will be found One of the chief reasons the prices remain where these are rip off prices when you compare out and sacked for THEFT. with the bulk of pubs on the high street. Our aim is to try and give everybody a balanced Bob Anderson Dear Sir, under 21s). We are flexible, patient and cater for value for money Union. General Manager student welfare. This Union has come a long way since the I am saddened to read that a student and I must address the issue about giving away free Chancellors employee is deeply dissatisfied with beer. Are you aware that Surrey students are pay- Union Beer prices. To clarify a few issues, a pint ing the price for you contempt of Chancellors? of Kronenberg costs 75p, not 40p a pint to buy Beers IS more expensive because you are stealing in. This 75p pint has to be fully costed out. We it, thus you are stealing money from ALL Surrey Ben’s Back need to pay bar staff, admin support (to process students who use the Union! Do me a favour and the money) and pay lighting and other such costs. resign. We don’t want thieves behind the bar. This Don’t forget, the £ 250, 000 chancellors re-fit is the STUDENTS Union, we are here for you, so Hi! It’s me again. will be organised in the near future. I have (1998) and major Union Re-decoration during why steal from us? enjoyed the various “ents” during my time as last summer. So in short the £ 1.99 retail charge is I am doing a “Union Money Awareness” Student Welcome to the first semester of 2002 ( I a student here. During my time here, I have the cheapest non-promotional pint in Guildford, council in week nine, so come along! Also there know it’s a bit late, since we’ve been back for entered the talent contest twice, and I had fun with pubs like the Five & Lime charging a mas- is a Club Committee which influences prices, so weeks now, but……………). on both occasions sive £ 2.90. if you have any genuine concern, come and repre- I hope everyone enjoyed themselves over Finally, I would like to say: good luck Reading between the lines, you are unhappy sents your peers instead of stealing from them! the Christmas break. I’m currently in my final to anyone taking exams over the next few about the pay and benefits at chancellors. As year, and I will be graduating this summer. I months. a former student and employee of Chancellors John Geeson would like to thank everyone involved in the I’ll remind you that pay is up 27 % on the 1998 Vice-president 60s evening on January 23rd. It was a very Benjamin Yoong hourly rate. The cost of a pint is down 10 %. We Finance & Development enjoyable evening. The 60s DJ was wonder- pay 40 pence per hour above minimum wage (for ful, and I hope that similar theme nights 28/02/02 Feature 5 International Week - Spread the word

Spread the word, because the University of Surrey’s annual international week is here once again from Monday 4th March. This will be a fun packed week, full of music, dancing, eating and drinking. Forget ’80 days around the world’ we bring you the world in 7 days. Give your taste buds the chance to explore some of the world’s fin- est cusines on Exhibition Night. Test your world knowledge at Chancellor’s special international quiz night. Learn about world customs, clothes, music, dances and traditions at the ever popular International Gala Show. And finally end the week with a bang dancing to the beats of the world from Latin to R ‘n’ B vibes, Hellenic to Asian fever and Arabic to Chinese music at the Global Tour international party. So regardless of where you are from, UK, Japan, Outer Mongolia or even Mars, be there or be square.

Simple International Recipes Bored of eating beans on toast every night? Have you exhausted all the possible com- binations of items from the One Stop? Can’t afford to eat out every night? Well, never fear, because this week we bring you a couple of recipes from around the world for you to try.

International Week Planner

Monday 4th March: EXHIBITION NIGHT (7-11pm Main Union) Tuesday 5th March: INTERNATIONAL QUIZ NIGHT (9pm Chancellors) Wednesday 6th March: GREEK CONCERT (University Hall) Friday 8th March: INTERNATIONAL GALA SHOW (7pm University Hall) Nordic dish Saturday 9th March: GLOBAL TOUR (international party 9pm-2am Main Union) Meat patties/Meat balls with gravy. (4 persons) 500g minced beef 1 tsp salt 1 tsp freshly ground pepper 1 tsp ground ginger 1 tbsp potato flour 2.5 dl water 1 egg fat for frying Mix the beef with the spices and potato flour, and add the water a little at a time. Stir in the lightly beaten egg. Shape fairly large patties and brown them on both sides. Place the meat patties in the gravy and let them simmer for 5-10 min before serving.

Gravy 2 1/2 tbps butter 2 1/2 tbsp flour 5 dl meat juices or stock Brown the flour and butter well in a cast-iron pan. Stir constantly. Bring the meat Directions juices or stock to the boil. Add the browned mixture of butter and flour, and beat Nigerian Peanut Soup 1 In 1-quart saucepan add broth and chili pep- until smooth. Let the sauce cook for about 10 min. Add salt and pepper to taste. A pers and touch of cream makes a good addition, but this is optional. Prep Time: approx. 15 Minutes. Cook Time: approx. 30 Minutes. bring mixture to a boil. Stir in bell pepper Ready in: approx. 45 Minutes. Makes 4 serv- and onion and Lebanese dish ings. return to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and let simmer For a starter than for a meal: Ingredients: until vegetables are tender, about 10 min- it is called “moutabbal”. You grill aubergines then you peal them, and smash them. 950 ml chicken broth utes. You mix them with Tahine, olive oil, lemon and 1 smashed garlic with salt. Better 1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced eaten cold. 74 g chopped green bell pepper 2 Reduce heat to lowest possible temperature; 80 g chopped onion add peanut 130 g crunchy peanut butter butter and cook, stirring constantly, until peanut butter is melted and mixture is well blended. This Week: Summer Festival News Films: Vanilla Sky, A Beautiful Mind, Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Ghum Reviews Music: Album of the Week A - Hi Fi Serious Single of the Week Scrotum Grinder - Dirty Scrut

This year Glastonbury Festival is back with a vengeance, along with all the usual suspects such as the Reading/Leeds Carling Weekender, Festival Season Is Almost Upon Us (Yay!) V2002, Creamfields not to men- tion Homelands, Gatecrasher, and Essential amongst other more local festivals such as Guildford Live 2002 or the newly restored Isle Of Wight Festival. So here is a run down of the rumours of acts that are playing at the festivals, from the sub- lime to the down right ridiculous.

Glastonbury Festival this year, takes place on 28-30 June 2002 and looks set to have the usual diverse range of music that has kept it going for all this time. Amongst the rumours this year, are that Dido, Rod Stewart, Neil Young, Radiohead and festival favourite Rolf Harris all look set to play. Other not so strong rumours are that Moby and The Prodigy are also set to play. The Charlatans have confirmed that they will play on the Friday night.

Reading/Leeds Carling Weekender starts on 23 August and looks set to have Foo Fighters, Blur, New Order, Incubus, The Prodigy and Linkin Park, among it’s line-up. The less strong rumours are that garbage, Andrew WK and The Offspring are all set to play over the weekend.

V2002 takes place on the 17-18 August and at the moment only has a few bands rumoured to play over both festival organisers or band is place on 4-6 May and then there Therapy, Six By Seven, Randy, and Pulp, Stereophonics, and the weekend. The bands that are that U2 will hopefully be playing. will be another Festival. The Bristol Hundred Reasons are all set to play. White Stripes. rumoured to be playing are, Oasis, Festival has been split up into three Roots Day sees Johnny Clarke, Afro Stereophonics, Elbow, Ryan Adams Creamfields looks set to take place different days of music, 4 May sees Celt Sound System, Dreadzone and Homelands takes place 1 June and and Sophie Ellis Bexter. Like the on 24 August at Liverpool Airfield Dance Day, 5 May sees an indie rock Crazy Penis are all set to play. so far the acts playing are Basement Reading/Leeds weekender, V2002 is and so far Timo Maas and Faithless day and 6 May sees a roots day so it Jaxx, Oxide & Neutrino, Roger set up at 2 sites, these are Highlands have been rumoured to play but the looks set to cover a wide variety of Isle Of Wight Festival starts on 3 June Sanchez, Soft Cell, Beta Band and Park, Chelmsford and Weston Park, official line-up will be announced on tastes. Dance Day sees Judge Jules, and lasts for 2 weeks. The rumours Stanton Warriors along with So Solid Staffordshire. A rumour that has 27 February. Lisa Pin Up, Lisa Lashes, Lost of people playing so far go like this, Crew. Julia Walker neither been confirmed or denied by Witness and Afro Celt Sound System David Bowie, The Charlatans, Ash, Essential festival (Bristol) takes all set to play. Indie Rock Day sees Manic Street Preachers, Placebo, Competition Time

Win an Eastern break with To be in with a chance of winning, just send your name, college and email address to [email protected]

Tiger Eastern Beats At each of the tour dates and launch nights their will be a further opportunity to get your hands on a Tiger Eastern Beats exclusive free mix CD from Distinctýive Tiger Beer have teamed up with progressive breaks label ‘Distinctive Breaks’ and Breaks when you buy four Tiger Beers from your union bar, and a chance to win NUS Ents to present the Tiger Eastern Beats national competition. instant prizes including stickers, CDs and t-shirts. The Tiger Eastern Beats national competition is part of the Tiger Eastern Beats students’ union club tour and Y4k Tiger launch nights, which will be bringing an element of mystery and cultural intrigue fused with cutting edge breaks music, to USSU on March 8th.

Prizes for the Tiger Eatern Beats National Competition include:

1st prize STA Travel holiday for two in Bangkok - including flights and accommodation 2nd prize PlayStation®2 games console plus Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon DVDs 3rd prize A selection of Mahirishi clothing 28/02/02 Single Reviews 7 also includes a cover of ‘Eight Days A Week’ and is likely to build on the SINGLES success of last year’s advertising SINGLE OF THE WEEK theme tune ‘Bohemian Like You’. SCROTUM GRINDER THE SUPERNATURALS 7/10 M.R. What We Did Last Summer (Koch Dirty Scrut EP (Rabid Badger) International) KARATE Quite a remarkable release this; put out by the Cancel / Sing (Southern Records) Funnily enough it was these guys, frequently ace Fierce Panda offshoot label, this not Tetra Splendour, who were with is the sound of a fat, hairy, grotesque thug not Two songs, twenty-five minutes. It’s entirely unlike Andrew W(an)K with his bol- EMI 5 years ago when they released a kind of abstract and haunting, if ‘Smile’ (you know it, the song from locks stuck in a rusty vice, bellowing like he’s somewhat melodic venture into slow just had his pint spilt in some filthy backstreet all those internet banking ads!). jazz meets indie. Casual and repeti- Things have changed since then: gone Dickensian London pub. Simultaneously rau- tive though and it does become a bit cous, detestable and tumultuous, it’s even got are the big name record companies of a chore and require a bit of patience and the happy clappy singles – ‘What some industrial grinding noises in the back- to listen to but certainly not bad, even ground! Cliched biker cheese metal at its fero- We Did Last Summer’ is a somewhat if it is very slow. One for lovers of darker, edgier and even more infec- cious best. BAAAAARRRRRRGHHHH!!! instrumental and calm tracks with an 9/10 M.F. tious tune. Very noice. 8/10 S.P. eerie twist. 7/10 O.Z. LAST MAN STANDING 45S it’s not brilliant, but it’s got a really THE DANDY WARHOLS ZERO 7 Nobody (Sublime) Waiting For My Heart To Break annoying sound going in the back- Get Off (Capitol) Distractions (Ultimate Dilemma) (Mercury) ground. 5/10 J.K. Following up their pretty success- Another annoyingly infectious If you haven’t yet heard Zero 7’s ful debut single ‘Shotgun Mouth’, This second single from the 45s TETRA SPLENDOUR release from the band that like to use excellent debut album ‘Simple Last Man Standing’s latest effort is offers melodies of soft rock pop that’s Pollen Fever (EMI Records) the powers of advertising to infiltrate Things’, stop reading this review and a reasonably good punk-rock tune, sits firmly in the middle of commer- your subconscious. Instincts tell you do it now dammit! Their fourth sin- which grows with every play. It’s cial and slightly off beat. Lyrics This is disappointing. The whiny not to like this stomp-a-long, thigh- gle, ‘Distractions’, utilises the sultry also backed up by a real head-bang- like ‘you can be a little cruel’ and lead singer seems to be whinging all slapping, country-pop hybrid, but vocals of Sia, and yet again sends ing B-side (Inside Out), and an acous- ‘waiting for my heart to break could the way through about having pollen after a few spins you catch yourself you nodding into their wonderfully tic version of the first single, which easily have been written about when in his eye, and it’s making him cry. singing along to the “oompa-loompa” chilled world of electronic loveliness. certainly boosts it’s buying potential. we met recently but no, its about girl Who cares? I don’t! Especially when style chorus that could easily have 8/10 A.T.S. 7/10 A.T.S. trouble. The single is average show- the rest of the song is mediocre rock, you confused with one of Willy ing potential but as the song says, monotonous and without any sort of Wonker’s finest workers. The single they are waiting for their hearts to climax. Don’t waste three and a half be break and that could be very soon! minutes of your life on this one. Pants CORNERSHOP 5/10 M.B. doesn’t come close. 2/10 S.P. Lessons Learned From Rocky I To Rocky III (Wiija) SATELLITE ALCAZAR Lighten Up The Load (Mercury Sexual Gratification (BMG) Ok, so it sounds like The Rolling Stones, but RL) that’s a good thing right? Leaving that aside, I really wonder what I did wrong in this is a happy-go-lucky guide to life brought ‘Lighten Up The Load’ is the first sin- my life to deserve listening to this. to you by the people behind ‘Brimful Of Asha’ gle from Satellite, aka Jonny Green. Swedish dance trio, two girls, one with the help of a few friends (ex-Oasis bloke I think I’ve listened to the song a guy produce appalling pop single Guigsy is the man behind the bass-line). It’s dozen times, and I’m honestly not – and life goes on. I actually care got quality lyrics about Miami Beach and sure what to say about it. The fact more about what toothpaste brand chicks with dicks, as well as a foot-tapping that it is “recorded at Jonny’s house” I’m gonna buy next than this single. beat. What more do you want? 8/10 P.G.S. says a great deal. The song in itself Complete manufactured garbage.

RECOMMENDED isn’t bad, and I’m sure it’ll be played 1/10 O.Z. quite a lot on the radio. It’s not bad, Live Music Vid BLISTERS ON MY BRAIN filled can of dance whoop-ass in the Polish Social Club, ASH LO FIDELITY ALLSTARS crowd’s direction. ‘Lo Fi’s In Ibiza’, Balham Tokyo Blitz (video) London Kings Cross Scala 22nd February 2002 ‘Incision Decision’ and ‘Sleeping This video is from Ash’s performance in 31st January 2002 Faster’ all stir up an excellent party FYI kicked off the night at this strangest of their 2001 tour. Tim Wheeler’s normal live vibe, and there’s one or two nice venues with a display of simply how generic flat vocals with the band’s raw live sound The intimacy of the Kings Cross is brilliant. They have a fantastic way of chilled moments, which allow punt- punk can be. Combining downright haggard Scala is fantastic; no barriers, great riffs with a complete lack of lyrical inspiration, changing every song just a little into a sound quality, nice friendly crowd. ers to get their breaths back, and it’s fair to say that FYI won’t be headlining superb display of harsh guitaring and drum- It’s a shame that bands become too reclaim lost trainers. But the high- Glastonbury this year, or in fact anywhere until ming. However poppy you think Ash are, light of the evening is by far the they locate some stage presence. their live performances are fantastic. They big to grace it’s stage, but if you Devon skater punk kings, Brat, were second played most of “No Angel” with highlights ever get the chance to catch an up thumping ‘Battleflag’: five minutes up in what was for them a somewhat lackluster from “Nuclear Sounds” and “1977”. They and coming band there, then book of adrenaline-injected mosh-pit hys- effort (which I suppose could be blamed on the also played their first single, “Jack Names the Planets” from “Captain” and did a your ticket early. teria. The tune has abysmal PA), buoyed only by covers of the almost anthem-like version of Weezer’s “Only in Dreams”. Tonight is officially the first of the Its no surprise that the highlights in the NME Carling gigs, but publicity status, and judging by form of “Kung Fu”, “Lose Control” and seems a little more scarce than one the reaction, it shows “Numbskull” were from previous albums but the newer songs were also excellent. would usually expect. However, that being two mem- bers shy doesn’t mean The video also includes interviews with once the Lo Fi’s come onstage (after the band members and them out in the bars a surprisingly pitiful support slot the Lo Fi’s have to across Tokyo which is quite entertaining. from Capitol K), the small, casually forget where it’s at. Jurassic Park. 8/10 J.S. down-tempo venue becomes a sea of Andy Smith euphoric madness. With a set-list dominated by tunes A N O T H E R from the new LP (‘Don’t Be Afraid POGO SPORT Of Love’), they unleash a bass- MOUTHWASH / BRAT / FYI

10 Albums 28/02/02 beats from ‘Rock’ to ‘Drum and Base’. ‘Roni Size/Reprazent offer ALBUMS a U.K. flavour with ‘Idi Banashapan’ ABLUM OF THE WEEK that’s not their finest but still is qual- A ity from the master of psycodelic VARIOUS ARTISTS Hi-Fi Serious (London) HMV Playlist beats. The sound track ends with BT’s ‘Fast and Furious Theme’ that’s Despite being previously ignored, now that atmospheric using mystical strings This cd is HMV’s attempt at sharing the enduring kings of British power-punk A and beats which is quiet supreme. new music from lesser-known bands have achieved that Holy Grail of a Radio1 The soundtrack as a whole has many and pushing them into the more playlisting, it could finally be their time. good elements but lacks all round mainstream market. This month’s Their frustration at previous ignorance is laid quality. 6/10 M.B. bands include The Hives, Haven, A bare in the bitter sounding ‘Took it Away’, and Vex Red to name but a few. A’s key lyric “Radio playlists, terminally ill”. DEPARTURE LOUNGE track ‘The Distance’ is another slice There’s precious little A can now do to Too Late To Die Young (Bella of cool guitar pop-punk taken from push their case further; they have the tunes Union) their soon to be released album ‘Hi-Fi (‘Starbucks’, ‘Why Don’t You Cry About Serious’. ‘The Distance’ is a worthy It’), industrial-strength riffs (‘Nothing’) and This is the third album from the follow up to current single ‘Nothing’ a barrage of upbeat, lively 3-minute punk Brighton based quartet within the last and another piece explosive piece of songs. 3 years after forming in 1998. Tim hyperactive pop punk. A fantastic closing salvo is capped by the Keegan (vocals) worked with trip- The other highlights, for me, were magnificent title track, an ambitious 6- hop producer, Kid Loco on his most Vex Red’s track called ‘Untitled’ a minute epic taking in everything covered recent album ‘Kill Your Darlings,’ dark, angst-ridden track that starts on this fine record and spitting it back with and he returns the favour by turn- of quietly and then gets louder and added venom. ing up as producer for the bands more guitars driven as the tension Sadly, it’s not as fun as it used to be. But, latest release. While this album may builds. The other good band on this flying in the face of the dumb-fuck punk be loosely badged as “electronica/ cd is Haven, they follow up their last torrent from the US, A have crafted a well- dance” it is hard to see why as the single ‘Say Something’ with another rounded and consistently third album. The album has more of a pop/indie sound. superbly melodic track called ‘Out blue touchpaper is lit; let’s see what happens It would be little surprise to see the Of Reach’. Overall, this is a good now… 8/10 M.F. cd with a diverse range of music and band really get into the mainstream it’s nice to see someone championing consciousness after this release due delusions of grandeur. There’s some tive albums like this receive. Go to either way, the music struggles to the lesser-known bands for a change. to the current popularity (and similar- great songs in here ‘Terrible Lie’ the back of the queue Montell. 5/10 stand on its own. 3/10 C.L. 8/10 J.W. ity) of acts like ‘Zero 7’. The album is wicked and ‘Sin’ is bang on the A.R. Jennie Bomb (BMG) VARIOUS ARTISTS Long Time Dead Soundtrack This week’s reviews by Wohoo! A new Sahara Hotnights album! (Mercury Records) Kevin Marston, Jana Kristensen, These Swedish girls may not be as well known Julia Walker, Andrew Smith, Alex over here as they are in Scandinavia, but if Depending what you expect from a Read, OZ, Duncan Hills, John you ask me it won’t take long before they are. horror movie soundtrack, this will Swarbrick, Catherine Lee, Simon Although the four girls aren’t more than 20-22 most probably disappoint. On the Pearson, Matthew Badcock, Michael years old, they’ve already been around for a whole, it’s a series of electronically Field & Pete ‘ Is Still Moan About few years, with an EP out in 1997 and their produced tracks featuring thumping BRMC’ Smith first album ‘C’mon Let’s Pretend’ two years bass lines, pounding drums and the later. With ‘Jennie Bomb’ they are keeping occasional whooshy “scary” noise up the /grunge style from their first that proves repetitive to the point of album, and they’ve also built up an image as irritating. Amidst all this, intermittent If you fancy trying your hand at a brilliant live band touring with bands such tracks from Zero 7 and St.Germain writing a music review, live review as ‘The Donnas’ and ‘The Hives’. The album stand in refreshing contrast but leave or even an article on muisc then opens with ‘Alright Alright (Here’s My First you slightly bewildered as to what please email barefacts or come Where’s The Fight?)’ and the catchy new sin- direction the album is taking. Soon along to the music meeting at 6pm gle ‘On Top Of Your World’ and it keeps up enough though, the bass-orientated on Mondays in the Society Activity the energy all through the 13 tracks with few music returns with the likes of Roni Centre week points. Girls Rock on it’s best and defi- Size. It’s hard to say whether this album would make more sense hav- RECOMMENDED nitely worth checking out! 8/10 J.K. ing seen the film, but to be honest, makes for nice, dreamy, late night money however I can only recom- ELBOW TIMO MAAS listening yet I felt it lacked the pas- mend this album to die-hard fans. I’m Loud (Perfecto) sion and feeling to really make this a a little sceptical hence. 6/10 A.R. (V2) great album. Consistently mediocre, Timo has returned to give us an but certainly not bad. 6/10 D.H. MONTELL JORDAN This is a re-release of indepth look into his eclectic style Montell Jordan (Def Soul) Elbow’s sparkling full- of dance music with the pulsating NINE INCH NAILS length debut from Spring sounds of Loud. Loud combines And All That Could Have Been This is Montell Jordan’s fifth studio 2001, complete with the the best of house, breaks, big beat (Interscope) album and on this one Montell’s gone recent single and title and even trance together in whirl of all inward and personal, wow how track they “forgot” last noises that fundamentaly dissolves You know those Winamp equaliser original! This collection of songs time. the so called boundaries of genres settings that no one ever uses? You is unquestionably his most personal Guy Garvey’s remark- to the minimalistic measures of know the ones: party, pop, rock, since popular debut album “This Is able voice, occupying ones own egotistical mind. ‘To Get soft etc. Well there’s a preset called How We Do It”. This is pretty con- some superior plane between SFA’s Gruf Rhys and The Beta Band’s Down’, ‘Hard Life’ and ‘Manga’ all ‘Large hall’. Now don’t quote me but servative R&B as things go and I’m Steve Mason, complements masterfully the similitude of spine-tin- reverberate this feeling and are the I think NIN have taken their original sure it’s aimed at the slightly older gling melancholia meets dense, enticing rock experimentation. structural foundations of this great recordings and simply subjected R&B fan. Like a lot of the music I ‘Any Day Now’s hypnotic, despairing chorus, the heart-wrenching record. 8/10 K.M. them to the ‘Large hall’ preset. This review for this paper, I find little to lyrical desolation of ‘Powder Blue’ together with some stunningly live album consists of sixteen songs get excited about with this release; intricate acoustic guitar washes on ‘Newborn’ and ‘Scattered Black MORE FAST AND FURIOUS written by the band between 1989 by the numbers R&B in particular and Whites’ make this one of the first essential British guitar albums Sound Track (The Island Def Jam and 1999. I’m not sure how relevant is becoming increasingly tiresome. this decade. Music Group) any of this is, especially when com- The usual church and love themes Forget Starsailor’s farcical whinnying; Elbow’s tortured misery pared to other recent live albums surface like a bad smell – frankly was the real deal in 2001. The New Acoustic Movement may have A second helping of music from and notably Radiohead’s ‘I Might Be this stuffs been covered a thousand proved short-lived, but ‘AITB’ is truly one of the finest albums in inspired by the ‘Fast and Furious film Wrong’. Why release a live compi- times already. I’d like to see more recent memory, made by five ordinary blokes from who coincides with the DVD and VHS lation if none of the featured songs British R&B and hip hop acts com- by their own admission would be working as bricklayers if not in a release. ‘BT’ offers a large chunk sound any better outside the studio? ing through, Roots Manuva, Aspects, band. And what a loss that would have been. 9/10 M.F. of the album offering three tracks. Lead singer and Radiohead obsessive The Streets etc have to work twice RE-ISSUE The style is thumping base and heavy Trent Reznor appears to be suffering as hard for the recognition conserva- 28/02/02 Film 11 A Beautiful Mind Vanilla Sky

Director: Ron Howard Director: Cameron Crowe Writer: Akiva Goldsman, based on the book by Sylvia Writers: Alejandro Amenabar, Mateo Gill Nasar (Film: ‘Abre Los Ojos’ a.k.a ‘Open Your Eyes’) Cast: Russell Crowe, Ed Harris, Jennifer Connelly, Paul Cast: Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Bettany, Adam Goldberg, Vivien Cardone, Judd Jason Lee, Kurt Russel Hirsch, Josh Lucas, Anthony Rapp, Christopher Plummer, Clint Howard Tom Cruise plays David Aames, a publishing tycoon lead- Certificate: 12 ing a dream playboy lifestyle. David has everything – huge Running time: 135 minutes luxurious apartments, loads of money and women jumping at his feet. He has a casual relationship with model Julie Gianni Based on the non-fiction book of the same name by Sylvia Nasar, A (Cameron Diaz) until he meets the exotic Sofia (Penelope Beautiful Mind is the story of John Forbes Nash, Jr., a mathematical Cruz) at his party. David spends a romantic night with Sofia genius who invented the concept for game theory, which has since and when leaving in the morning meets a very jealous Julie. He been applied to everything from economics to biology. accepts a lift from her and then suddenly in rage she drives the The film follows Nash through five decades of his academic career, his relationship with his wife car off a bridge. David survives but is horribly disfigured and an emotional wreck. He meets Alicia, and his various demons and difficulties. up with Sofia, but it goes embarrassingly wrong, he ends up on the street alone and drunk. My initial impression of Nash was an arrogant Forrest Gump. Russell Crowe reminded me Sofia awakes him in the morning and they begin their relationship. A miracle treatment allows immediately of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man, the only difference being that Crowe’s character David’s face to be restored to it’s former glory – everything seems perfect now, a beautiful knew he was gifted. His self-confidence was something that I personally could relate to, that partner, two beautiful faces. However it doesn’t last long. David starts to experience hallucina- belief that regardless of the challenge he would tions where he confuses Sofia for being Julie and ends up killing her. What is happening? Who come out of it on top. is doing this? Is he being framed by greedy executives trying to rob him of his wealth? Or is he Now, a lot has been said about this film; Russell going mad with the guilt of his treatment of Julie? Crowe is phenomenal, Jennifer Connelly is fan- Vanilla Sky is a remake of the Spanish film ‘Abre Los Ojos’ a.k.a ‘Open Your Eyes’ (also star- tastic the screenplay is superb etc etc. To that I ring Penelope Cruz) by Alejandro Amenabar (dir: The Others). I have to say I was very surprised would say, don’t listen to a word, if you do, you to see that Cameron Crowe gives himself a screenplay credit when nothing significant has been will expect too much. Before I saw Lord of the added/deleted from the original film. Comparing the two I would have to say that the original Rings I had been told so many times how great it is better. Cameron Crowe’s previous efforts, ‘Jerry Maguire’ and ‘Almost Famous’ show that he was, I hated it before I even saw it. I knew very is a ‘light’ director whereas this story requires a much more sombre and darker tone as shown little about this film before I saw it and I prefer it in the original. Vanilla Sky has all of that way, my advice to you, reader, is do the same. Hollywood’s gloss and a great sound- Seeing this movie will broaden your outlook on track (R.E.M, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, life and I believe go some way to making most Leftfield) and because of the gloss it of us more understanding better people, that is all does at times feel hollow. The relation- I want to say. I have done my best to reveal as ship between the main characters doesn’t little of plot as possible because that is the way I seem to stick as well as in the original. think it should be. This is a film worth seeing, go However, despite this, the film does man- see it. 8/10 age to pull through simply because of it’s Stewart Fudge (Captain story and it does manage to be entertain- Extraordinaire of the Slurrey ing. My recommendation, if you can, then get hold of a copy of the original, if not Slingers) then sit back and chill to this. 6/10. Navroop Sehmi.

Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Ghum he is still devoted to his parents and the family never talk about it. Yashovardhan plans for Rahul to marry (Sometimes Happy, Sometimes Sad) Naina who is of similar social status but Rahul falls in love with Anjali, a village girl. Rahul is disowned by his Director: Karan Johar father and he heads off to live in London with Anjali. Writers: Karan Johar and Sheena Parekh Rohan, who has been at boarding school all this time, Cast: Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bhaduri, hears of it and plans to reunite the family. He moves to Shahrukh Khan, Kajol, Hrithick London and manages to stay at Rahul’s house as a guest Roshan, Kareena Kapoor (Rahul has not seen Rohan since he was a child and so doesn’t recognise him) with the aid of Pooja, Anjali’s How the hell do you pronounce that you must be won- sister and childhood friend. Eventually Rohan’s identity dering? What the hell is it may be another. Well, Kabhie is revealed and he manages to get his parents to visit the Khushie Kabhie Ghum, also known as K3G (!) is the UK. Mother and son embrace but the father is as stub- latest Bollywood blockbuster which has managaed to born as ever and they return to India. The son’s follow cross-over onto Western screens. You may have noticed and after much commotion, the family is reunited. that the Pakastini Socitey screened this film last week The film’s cast is a who’s who of Indian Film. There and that the Odeon showed it yesterday (when they is veteran actor Amitabh Bachchan along with current haven’t shown, and I’ve been told will not show ‘From heart-throbs, Shahrukh Khan and Hrithchick Roshan. Hell’!). Well what is all the fuss about? The problem with this is movie is that it’s all been done K3G is a film about “loving your parents”. Yashovardhan before. The actors and actresses play the same roles that Raichand is a business millionaire and head of the fam- they have played hundreds of times before. The basic ily with his wife Nandini and two sons, Rahul and plot of the divided family has also been done many Rohan. Rahul is actually Rohan’s adopted brother but times over. The film borrows heavily from ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’. Kajol plays her usual tomboy village girl and Kareena Kapoor plays a disgustingly bad (yes, I felt physically sick when I saw this) Alicia Silverstone Clueless rip-off – I’m getting nauseous simply remembering her prancing about at King’s University (it was that bad). To top it all off, even the music is unoriginal with only the bhangra-based tune ‘Shava-Shava’ deserves a few taps from my foot. Basically this film is way overatted. If you want a taste of good Indian Cinema then look up films like ‘Sholay’, ‘Maachis’ and ‘Dil Se’. I really don’t know what rating to give it, probably out of fear of hundreds of fans hungering for my blood – what the hell, I’ll write my name instead. Navroop Sehmi.

28/02/02 Personals/Society Profiles 13 The Stars Wot A Proper Astrologer Did Society Profiles: NOTE: This week in an bid to ease the job of our resident astrologer (he’s got a good union), we’ve simplified the star signs. So, just go down until you find the one that coincides with your birthday. Actually, we can’t find last week’s issue, so we’re not sure what order they go in... EESoc MONKEY (Jan 1st - Jan 31st) This week you will be astounded to discover you have won a car, and then Name & Age: Boi Yimwilai, 20 Ultimate dream for you more astounded when you wake up. Don’t extend your overdraft til Thursday personally in the societies next, since it’s the bank mananger’s anniversary on Tuesday, and she has to be activity: Apart from home early. Position in Society: Vice- helping the society reach the top President of EESOC ten, i haven’t really got an ultimate OSTRITCH (Feb 1st - Feb 28th) dream Don’t bury your head in the sand-- you won’t be able to breathe. Go out there Your Best Feature: Got and deal with your problems, they won’t go away on their own. If you shy Worst injury: Getting hit by away, things will only be far worse when you return. be my spiky hair and my winning smile very drunk Quincy (the society’s secretary) CAMEL (March 1st - March 31st) Beware the jabberwock, my son. In this case, the jabberwock will be an What do you look for in a Society activity idol: Haven’t got unwanted face from the past. Don’t believe the hype-- a leopard never changes one his spots, and neither does a thieving caniving bastard of an ex-friend. man/woman: Single would be nice and she must have a nice personality Most embarrassing/amusing PLATYPUS (April 1st - April 30th) society moment: Whole society Life hasn’t been great lately-- you’ve missed out on a lot of what you should Best thing about the lining up pissing in the river on our have gained through no fault of your own. Don’t take it personally and keep on last pub golf going-- you’ll succeed in the end. society activity: Our ‘Pub Golf’ Tournament has been highly rated by various members Hidden aspects of your society: It’s still hidden, LLAMA (May 1st - May 31st) we haven’t found it yet. But if you come and join Pleasant allapaca wooly coat or no, it’s hot in hell, so make sure you don’t end the society, maybe you can help us find it. up there with some good behaviour this week. You can redeem yourself, so do. Best single moment of your society life: Never a Be a good Samaritan. single moment, all equally great Worst fear: Falling into the river after pissing in it. COD (June 1st - June 30th) Best moment for society: Getting positive Overfishing will result in your extinction within fifteen years so make the most Lunchtime lasagne in Chancellors or HRB? of life while you can. (Come on, it’s green week...). Remember the motto, feedback from members telling us how much they enjoyed being part of the society Never had one but apparently HRB is Carpe Diem (excuse pun) and get out there and have some fun. the better of the two

BRUSSELS SPROUT (July 1st - July 31st) Worst thing about your society: Lack of girls in the society You in three words: According to my female Things aren’t all they’ve cracked up to be-- take a long hard look at new activ- friends, i am ‘Crazy, Sexy, Cool’ ities and decide if they really are for you after all. Ultimate society dream: The society hasn’t really got a dream but we’re trying to be within the top The society in three words: Awesome Brilliant MOUSE (August 1st - August 30th) ten societies in UniS RRRRAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!! Be true to your nature-- timidity is going to be a great virtue this week.

PYGMY SHREW (September 1st - September 30th) Small is beautiful and don’t forget it-- hence avoid tall people this week. I really mean that; it’s easy to get squashed when you’re less than an inch long. PILCHARD (October 1st - October 31st) CHINESE/ Life is like a bowl of beans-- it stinks after you’ve had too much. Lucky for you that too much is about 103 years. Live long and prosper.

PORCUPINE (of Doom) (November 1st - November 30th) Smile all week. It’ll make both you and those around you happier. Spread a lit- JAPANESE tle love into the world. Rainbows and bunny rabbits. VOLUNTEERS REQUIRED TO HELP WITH A RESEARCH STUDY. THIS WILL BE LOOKING AT THE GENETIC VARIATION BETWEEN THE EGGS (1st December - December 31st) ETHNIC GROUPS SPECIFIED BELOW: Give up, go home, it’s half ten at night and I can’t be arsed.

N.B. If your birthday is August 31st, then tough, cos I am not going to predict · Chinese - person with Chinese parents and grandparents anything for you. · Japanese - person with Japanese parents and grandparents Personals The purpose of this study is to investigate and further our understanding into the difference of why MORRRRRRNING! I really must come Lisa - please don’t kill me....i’m so round for that cupprrrrrr! scared i’m t-t-trembling! some people respond better to certain medicines than others. This can be done by looking at the variations in the patterns of DNA between ethnic populations. 2 working fridges, clean? Rich can’t cook for shit FREE TO A GOOD HOME If you participate in this study you will be required to give a blood sample and complete a ques- please take them away!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [email protected] tionnaire. The study visit will last half an hour and you will be compensated for your time and expenses. One-Legged Prostitutes are about as [email protected] real as Mr. Watt’s chances of coming FOR FURTHER INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT: up with a convincing scam www.sunvisorsaregay.com

What’s all this about lecture turtles? www.can’tcatchforshit.com Dr Mould or Alison Hepworth on 01483 455375/406886 Guildford Clinical Pharmacology Unit Rich, we saw the potential of curling you will be beaten with your own shoes Royal Surrey County Hospital long ago - everyone else has just jumped on the bandwagon www.malibu.wrote.all.of.those.if.y Guildford, GU2 7XX ou’re.interested.rich.com 14 Services 28/02/02 Dr Russ says “...... Money Matters! Speculative Applications like Prospects Directory or the If you find you are in DEBT con- card in your pocket. Graduate Careers Directory to sidering the following points may You may wonder whether it is identify the major employers of help you to find a way through the Keep in touch. Contact your lend- really worth writing speculatively graduates. Alternatively, you could difficulty. ers, creditors and any one else send- to an employer. Surely they’d use a directory such as Kompass ing you reminders advertise the job if they wanted to locate all the employers who Face the facts as soon as pos- operate in very specialist areas someone badly enough? There is - don’t ignore sible. such as nuclear instrumentation a lot of truth in that, which is why the problem and manufacture or the production of it is important to keep a watch- hope that it will Consider consoli- ful eye on advertised vacancies. automotive components. We also go away, work dating your debts Unfortunately, you can’t guarantee have local employer lists for most out exactly how Give your debts a you will spot the ad when it comes parts of the country. The more you out, so writing ‘on spec’ at least move off the beaten track, by the much you owe and free transfer gives you a chance to be considered way, the greater your chances of immediately cut Swallow your for something you might otherwise you are, why you are writing, what unearthing a vacancy which no-one out most of your pride and ask for have missed. There are two other particular skills and experience else has found. little luxuries. help very good reasons for writing out you have to offer and a closing of the blue. First of all, it can be paragraph to say how much you’d Writing on spec is definitely worth Prioritise your For more informa- pretty expensive to advertise a job value having an opportunity to trying. You might end up with debts in order of tion about these and employers wouldn’t waste their discuss your application with them. piles of rejection letters or even no scariness. Look carefully at the list issues come and talk to us a SAIS. money if they had sufficient specu- We have examples of both CVs responses at all, but then you might of people you owe money to. Rent Remember we are here to help and lative applications sitting on their and covering letters in the Careers just uncover an opportunity which (or mortgage) arrears should be dealt we can refer you to other useful desks. Secondly, it really works, as Service. gets your career off to a brilliant with as soon as possible and your agencies if necessary. about 10% of University of Surrey start. utility bills should come high up graduates find every year. You may, of course, feel a bit your list. Hire purchase bills should Student Advice and Information stuck in trying to decide who to probably come next with credit card Service, Russ Clark When writing speculatively, most apply to. If that is the case, you’d bills and loans for things you could Wey Flat 2, Surrey Court Careers Service people send a curriculum vitae and probably find it helpful to use one really live without towards the bot- Tel: 01483 869261 of the employer directories we a covering letter. The letter would tom of the pile. It’s better to have E-mail student- typically be four paragraphs - who carry. You could use something a roof over your head than a credit [email protected] Notices March, TB2 Euchrist - Every Thursday by Rev John Strain, 12: 30pm, Grant Mitchel Room The Nordic Society is going on a coach pub trip Friday March 1st! Great Union cashiers office is open 12:00 - 14:00 every venue out-of-town! Games and drinks! Open to working day except wednesdays. non-members. See homepage www.surrey.ac.uk/Union/societies/norsoc for Active Thinkers Society AGM, Thursday 28th details. Feb, 6.30pm, GMR, Music Soc - Underground AGM, Monday Week 8, 5pm, GMR Ecconomics Society AGM @ 6pm Monday 4th March, LT M American Football AGM - 28th Feb, Varsity Centre, 9pm Tennis Club AGM Thursday Week 8 (7-Mar-02), 1pm Womens Rugby AGM, Monday Week9, 6pm, TB22 GMR Any queries contact: [email protected] Ploice Community Partnership Group Public Meeting - LT L, 7pm, 13/3/02 - ALL WELCOME Conservative Society AGM @ 7pm Monday 4th

SURREY PRIDE Olympic Medals Results Gold Silver Bronze Points Sports Well, the Olympics are over amd, surprise surprise the USA is in the top 3. Anyway, Germany 12 16 7 75 here are the results. The points column has United States of America 10 13 11 67 been added, with a gold worth 3 points, a Norway 11 7 6 53 Profile silver 2 points and a bronze 1 point. Russian Federation 6 6 4 34 Canada 6 3 8 32 Austria 2 4 10 24 PRAGUE HERE Italy 4 4 4 24 France 4 5 2 24 WE COME! Switzerland 3 2 6 19 May 29th will see the Men’s Footy Aces depart Netherlands 3 5 0 19 on a German-Czech adventure like no other. The Finland 4 2 1 17 exams will be long forgotten; anticipation for the World Cup will be electric. China 2 2 4 14 The beer will be ridiculously cheap and will Croatia 3 1 0 11 flow all hours of the day and night, while on the Korea 2 2 0 pitch the Surrey Pride will test the meanest of 10 Eastern European defences. 0 2 4 8 The coach trip each way will involve a stop- Estonia 1 1 1 6 over in Frankfurt, what better opportunity to bask Name and Age: Annabel Canaven, 21 in the glory of September 4th? Bring your 5-1 Australia 2 0 0 6 T-shirts lads! Spain 2 0 0 6 To be involved in this 7-day mayhem, we need Nicknames: Fanny, Anchorgirl your deposits by THIS WEEKEND. £35 cheques Great Britain 1 0 2 5 payable to USFC: give them either to the Twins Bulgaria 0 1 2 4 Best Feature: Big smile - cheesy grin or Mark ‘Sink’ Richards. Total cost should be Czech Republic 1 0 1 4 ~£259. A Bargain. What do you look for in a guy? Baggy For info, news, banter and the all important Japan 0 1 1 3 trousers, trainers only - no shoes tour name suggestions check out the website Poland 0 1 1 3 at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/prague2002/ and subscribe to the mailing list: prague2002- Belarus 0 0 1 1 Marital status: attached and happy [email protected] Slovenia 0 0 1 1 Favourite position: On top and in control

Best thing about your sport: Bouncing MENS FENCING TEAM TRIUMPH around on beds (see above!)

Worst thing about your sport: Waxing IN COUNTY CHAMPIONSHIP your bikini line and showing your bum to By Jana Kristensen & Daniel Kerr everyone.

This weekend, our gallant trio took a break from student competitions to take on all- comers at the Surrey County Championship. After some tough first round matches, the Best single moment in your sporting life: three amigos went on to face the venerable ‘Q club’ in a tense and at times controversial Winning the BUSA natioanls for the past final. Saracen finished the match in style defeating the very experienced Joe Shackell to two years lift the trophy. Also, two of our fledgling fencers, Damien ‘The Devil’ Clarke & Oran ‘Oddball’ Worst injury: haven’t had one... yet. Touch Maliphant were joined by a guest fencer from Wimbledon and put in a very creditable wood performance, which bodes well for the future of the team. Sporting Idol: Ellen McArthur

Most embarrassing Sporting Moment: STINGERS PLAY OFF THIS my leotard slipping up my bum, exposing a cheek, during a routine. WEEK Hidden aspects to your sport:It’s not just The Personal Assurance sponsored University then. The Canes have added Junior Price (GB The Canes have been National Champions bouncing around. there is some skill in there of Surrey Stingers embark upon their first Quarterback) to their team and his battle with in 3 of the last 4 years - this will be no easy too... somewhere. ever play off challenge this coming Sunday the Stingers QB Ashley Heath (England and ride for the Surrey based team as they seek to at the Guildford Varsity Sports Centre (KO the PA Knights) will be fascinating. win through to the Southern Conference Final Last time you were drunk and threw up/ 1-00pm). Both teams have players from the British against either the Oxford Cavaliers or the DCI The Stingers recorded a perfect regular Senior League and Tony Groden of the Bristol Bullets. swam a lake? Most times I drink. I’m a bit season with 8 wins out of 8 games on their Ipswich Cardinals is another key to the Canes Stingers Head Coach Pete Vaughan of a lightweight. way to the British Collegiate American both on Offense and Defense.His play will commented “ There are no easy games at Football League South Eastern Division title. be compared to the Stingers own utility man this stage. We know the Hurricanes very Favourite Food: Cheesecake followed by Ranked as the #1 team in the South Andy Mitchell (Ireland and PA Knights) who well - they are steeped in success and have a the Stingers practiced last Sunday while the leads the team in receiving and is also a top very experienced coaching staff. There is no cheesecake with extra cheesecake. With a wild card games decided their opponents. tackler on defense. doubt in my mind however that we can win side order of cheesecake. Divisional rivals (and runners up) the Whilst the battles between experienced this game, but we will need to be at our very Hertfordshire Hurricanes battled through a players will provide some keys it is perhaps best. Its a knockout tournament from here on You in three words: loud, happy, fun. tough game in Birmingham and will now the first year players on both teams that will - one slip and you are gone - it will be a great provide the opposition to Surrey. finally swing the result. Both teams hada game on Sunday and I am sure that it will be The Stingers defeated the Hurricanes in good recruiting year and the test for those very entertaining for those watching - I hope the first game of the regular season (35-19) players now comes as the post season gets we have plenty of support for the team - they but both teams have come a long way since underway. deserve it”.