TM 2 Twice-Exceptionale 2January/February 2006 Newsletter Issuee 14 For parents, teachers and professionals. . Price US$8 Helping twice-exceptional children reach their potential. Finding a School that Fits By Barbara Probst, LMSW likely to be a good fit. Similarly, a school that only Quote Like most parents of 2e kids, you’ve prob- addresses your child’s difficulties may also be a ably spent a lot of time and energy making sure poor match. Though it’s nice to have a program The biggest mistake we your child gets all the “extras” he or she needs at that can remediate learning disabilities (LDs) or school – whether it’s modification, enrichment, or manage AD/HD, be careful of choosing one that make in life is to treat alternative instruction. At some point, though, you focuses primarily on the child’s weaknesses. You may find yourself thinking, “Wait a minute! Why need a program in which educators also respect, everyone equally when it do I keep working so hard to change the school enjoy, value, and nurture the child’s strengths. comes to learning. to fit my child? Why not find a school that already A school will also be a poor fit if its agenda fits my son or daughter, a place where my child is to “fix” your child, like a car needing repair. – Dr Mel Levine belongs, is understood, and doesn’t always feel Many programs take this approach, even if it isn’t like an outsider?” stated explicitly. For a 2e child who’s sensitive It makes sense to look for an environment and perceptive, this approach may backfire and where your child can be nourished instead of just actually make the situation worse. It may lead to “accommodated,” though it’s not always easy. anger or depression, causing your child to reject Some of the questions you may face include: offers of help out of pride and defensiveness. • How can I figure out what kind of school my The best schools for your 2e child are likely child needs? to be places with an unconventional approach, • What are my options? What’s out there? rather than conventional schools with a few ex- • What are the obstacles? tras tagged on. These schools will have the flex- • Who can help? ibility to adapt to your child’s needs, rather than INSIDE requiring your child to adapt to the school’s struc- News...... 3 How Can I Figure Out What Kind of School My ture (as public schools must, in order to educate ! Child Needs? large numbers of children, and as elite private Alternatives...... 4 What all parents want is a place where their schools often do, in order to maintain their repu- Brideun School..... 6 children can thrive – where they’ll be nurtured tations). and helped to develop. For a 2e child whose How, then, can you figure out which school Gifted Homeschool- needs are complex, that means a combination of would be a good fit? The first step is to list your ers Forum...... 8 fostering strengths and addressing weaknesses. child’s core or salient traits, without labeling A Homeschool Suc- You may hear about wonderful programs; but them as either good or bad. Your child might be cess Story...... 10 if they don’t take this two-pronged approach, a divergent thinker, have an unusually wide or they’re probably not right, no matter how attrac- narrow range of interests, need to learn through Hampshire Country tive they seem. touch and movement, be emotionally sensitive, School...... 11 Including both exceptionalities can be a chal- need time alone, crave variety, have an artistic Review: A Guide to lenge. A traditional high-stakes prep school or a flair, tend toward perfectionism, have a slow or 17 .. 13 program for high achievers (even if your child’s IQ seems to qualify him or her for admission) is un- Featured. Columns...... 14 2e: Twice-Exceptional Newsletter is a bi-monthly publication about twice-exceptional children, children who are gifted and who have LDs – learning difficulties that go by many names, including learning disabilities, learning disorders, and just Events...... 20 plain learning differences. Our goal is to promote a holistic view of the 2e child – not just the high IQ, or the quirkiness, or the disabilities, but the child as a whole person. Comments and suggestions are always welcome by phone, fax, or email.

www.2eNewsletter.com  2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 2e F r o m t h e P u b l i s h e r s 2e: Twice-Exceptional News- Welcome! letter (ISSN 1546-0762) is published six times a year by Happy New Year to subscribers and friends of Glen Ellyn Media 2e: Twice-Exceptional Newsletter! PO Box 582 Glen Ellyn, IL 60138-0582 We start 2006 with a new publishing schedule. Phone: 630-790-2252 We’re still publishing six times a year, but begin- Fax: 630-790-2267 www.2eNewsletter.com ning with January instead of February. If December [email protected] was to be the last issue of your subscription, it Linda Neumann, Editor will now end with the January issue. (But we hope Mark Bade, Business Manager you’ll renew!) Editorial Board: That’s not the only change taking place at Glen Ellyn Media. We’ll be moving to a new loca- Susan Assouline, EdS, PhD tion in February. So if you try to contact us over the next month and we don’t respond, please Susan Baum, PhD Kathi Kearney, MA Ed be patient and persistent. Deirdre Lovecky, PhD The focus of this issue is finding alternatives to traditional public school education for our Marlo Payne Rice, MS Linda Kreger Silverman, PhD twice-exceptional kids. Sometimes we find that no amount of finessing will get our “square peg” Joan Franklin Smutny, MA children to fit in the round hole of traditional public schooling. Then what do we do? Our lead ar- Meredith Warshaw, MSS, MA ticle, written by Barbara Probst, offers guidance; and an article by Hoagies website creator Car- The cost for a one-year US sub- olyn K. offers moral support. Other articles in this issue provide a look at alternatives that have scription is $45, for a two-year subscription $80. Electronic worked for some 2e kids. Each provides insight into what helps 2e children learn and thrive, edition, $35. Contact us for ideas that can be adapted to any learning environment, even the traditional public school set- international or institu- tional rates. Send changes ting. Along with these articles, you’ll find our regular columns and features. of address to us by mail or to Some print subscribers are missing the monthly email briefing we put out containing items [email protected]. of interest to those in the 2e community. The reason? Those subscribers haven’t yet shared The contents of 2e Newsletter their email addresses with us. Beside allowing subscribers to get the briefing, email addresses are not intended to constitute medical or clinical advice, allow us to communicate quickly and efficiently with subscribers. If you haven’t already done which should be obtained so, please send your email address to [email protected]. We promise not to share those from a licensed practitioner. The use of information from email addresses without your permission. 2e Newsletter for commercial If there are copies of 2e Newsletter from the past that you’d like to have for yourself or to purposes is prohibited without consent in writing from Glen pass along to someone else, all back issues are available for purchase. Look for ordering infor- Ellyn Media. We thank our sup- mation on our website: www.2eNewsletter.com/past issues.htm. porters and subscribers. We thank you for reading 2e Newsletter. Member of AEGUS, CEC, – Linda Neumann and Mark Bade NAGC, Independent Press As- sociation. Glen Ellyn Media Copyright © 2006 by Glen Ellyn Media, January, 2006 unless otherwise noted. The yellow and red 2e logo on blue is a trademark of Glen Ellyn Media.

2e Newsletter • January/February 2006  www.2eNewsletter.com N e w s , E t c . 2e Items of Interest

But Surely Not 2e Parents. status damages relationships he was 42. When his sons For You Visual/Spatial Under the title “Bundles of among parents and may also were diagnosed with , Learners. The entry deadline Misery,” the Washington Post set up children for failure.” the specialist offered to test for the Future Filmmakers recently reported on a study the elder Stewart as well. Festival, to be held in Chi- of 13,000 US parents and Subscriber Presentation. Con- “Far from [the diagnosis] be- cago from June 16 to 18, is non-parents. Parents, the sulting psychologist and ing a crushing blow,” Stewart January 31. Films and videos study found, were more likely newsletter subscriber Mi- is quoted, “I felt as if I had of any genre that were com- to be unhappy than those chael E. Gerner, PhD, has been saved from drowning. pleted within the past two adults without children. The been invited to present a All my life I had been told I years can be entered into article goes on to quote a pro- paper at the 2006 conven- was stupid and that’s what I the festival. Producers must fessor of pediatrics and psy- tion of the National Associa- had come to believe…. I can be residents of the United chiatry as saying that the idea tion of School Psychologists still remember the shame States and must have been of parenthood as pure joy in March. Titled “Twice and humiliation of being 20 years or younger when “was always a bit of a won- Exceptional: Reading Dis- laughed at in class for being they completed their project. derful myth.” In a rejoinder, a abilities in Verbally Advanced unable to read.” In the 1960s It is strongly encouraged Washington, DC-area family Secondary/Postsecondary and 1970s, Stewart won 27 that the project length be 10 therapist suggests that “what Students,” the presentation’s Grand Prix races; he is now minutes or under. There is parents need to know and goal is to inform school psy- a knighted, multi-millionaire a processing fee of $10 for take away from this is that it’s chologists about the unique businessman and head of each entry. See www.future- important to look after your patterns, required documen- the Scottish Dyslexia Associa- filmfestival.com. 2e own mental health, not to tation, and successful accom- tion. live vicariously through your modation strategies of older child.” [We suggest this ad- 2e learners with reading vice from Nikita Khrushchev: disabilities. Gerner says, ”I Fifth-grade Aspie Charged with Assault Life is short. Live it up.] am especially dedicated to work on behalf of 2e students Could this happen to a 2e family you know? And If You Are a Parent, Avoid in medical schools and the Subscriber JJ’s son was diagnosed with Asperger’s in first This. The New York Times medical licensing exam. The grade and is now a fifth-grader. JJ says that she and her hus- covered parental bragging in manner in which a psycholo- band have been involved parents, working with the school to an article on January 5. An gist evaluates and writes up develop IEPs, participating in meetings, providing resources, example: “Oh, gifted children. the documentation can have volunteering, and so forth. She notes that over the past few I’ve got’em. What am I going serious implications regard- years her son’s skills have improved and that there have to do with my gifted chil- ing whether extended time been fewer outbursts – but not, evidently, few enough for the dren?” Well, says the article, is granted on the medical school’s current administration, new this school year. stop bragging. The article licensing exam.” In October JJ discovered the new principal’s approach for hypothesizes that competitive dealing with her son’s Asperger-related outbursts. The family bragging is a trait of “upper- 2e Person of the Issue. “I can received a phone call from a juvenile officer concerning three middle-class parents deeply remember every gear shift assault charges submitted by the principal against their son. involved in their children’s and every braking distance All three of the incidents started, admits JJ, when the development,” contrasting for the 187 corners of the child reacted inappropriately to a comment or situation he that group’s penchant for Nurburgring,” says Scottish didn’t understand – for example, by saying “Oh, that’s stu- intensive cultivation of chil- race driver Jackie Stewart, pid,” or writing a threatening note. Once her son felt cornered dren with the working-class “but I can’t even read or re- by an adult’s response, says JJ, he then went into “fight or parent’s more hands-off member the National Anthem flight mode,” which challenged the adult’s authority. The child approach. The article urges or the Lord’s Prayer.” Accord- would become physically aggressive with adults who kept parents to avoid one-upman- ing to an article in the Guard- trying to tell him, before he had a chance to calm ship, saying that “bragging for ian Unlimited, Stewart’s dys- down, what he was doing inappropriately. 12 lexia was not diagnosed until www.2eNewsletter.com  2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 2e Feature: School Alternatives Parents’ Stories: Alternatives to Public School The teacher insinuates profound speech and motor with my son’s teacher. She Families of participating stu- that the problems are due impairments, he’s often con- is never more than an e-mail dents also organize activities to poor parenting or a lazy sidered by casual observers message away, and she pro- such as gym classes at local child. The district says that a – even those with profes- vides her counsel through facilities, band/orchestra child can’t be GT and LD at sional credentials – as being constant supervision of my instruction, arts and crafts the same time. School per- profoundly mentally retarded. son’s progress. We all – as classes, and so forth. Stu- sonnel won’t read the books He is not. a family – look forward with dents can complete their and articles you offer. The This year, in a virtual enthusiasm to our biweekly work at any time of the day or school/home relationship (online) charter school, he phone conferences, which night from anyplace that has has become too adversarial has soared. He began with we have now moved into an an Internet connection. For to salvage. Maybe it’s time to a seventh-grade placement online environment so that more information, visit: www. call it quits. (at age 8), and completed all my son can participate more wivcs.org/who-chooses/in- Sometimes the tradi- of his year-long courses with fully. dex.html tional public school environ- flying colors by the end of the Although my son was This year Morton Ann’s ment is just not equipped to first semester. He fell in love previously home-schooled, son is enrolled in iQ Acad- meet the needs of a twice- with literature; he adored our hope was always to find emies at Wisconsin, a virtual exceptional student. Here are vocabulary from Greek and an ideal public school place- public charter high school. accounts of some parents Latin roots; he craved U.S. ment, preferably by the time Courses are taught by differ- who made other choices for history; he sailed through he entered middle school or, ent teachers, as in a regular their 2e children. (In all but pre-algebra. He participated at the latest, by high school. high school, but much of the the first account the parents’ fully in a book club; he shared My husband and I (both col- course content is presented names have been changed to course-related projects with lege professors) cherish the via the computer. Part of the protect their privacy.) other classmates; he was right and the gift of public time students work indepen- commended by the assistant education. We also sought dently and part of the time A Virtual Charter School principal for placing in the public education as a valida- they spend interacting with This account of virtual stratosphere on standardized tion of my son’s academic teachers and other students charter schools was adapted tests. accomplishments. He de- using software that allows for with permission from an ar- Most importantly, my son serves to have his hard work live, online instruction and ticle written by Morton Ann and his teacher built a rela- and intellectual acumen au- discussions. Gernsbacher for the website tionship that is the epitome thenticated. Wisconsin Coalition of Virtual of mutual respect. In my fond- A Private Boarding School School Families (www.wivirtu- est dreams and from my own When her article was Cindy explained: “Since alschoolfamilies.org). 30 years of teaching (both at written last year, Morton preschool I had looked for a The only thing about the high school and university Ann’s son was a student school, a teacher, or an ad- my son that’s average is his level) I have never experi- at the Wisconsin Virtual ministrator who understood height and weight. Coupled enced such a responsive Academy, an independent my son’s incredible mind. He with his extraordinary relationship between student public online elementary thrived on learning, had an academic, intellectual, and and teacher. school that serves children insatiable appetite for ideas, interpersonal genius are My son’s teacher is the from grades K through 8. It but short-circuited himself some striking disabilities. finest coach, heartiest cheer- is a public charter school along the way. By the time For example, at age 9 he can leader, and most energetic program available free to he was ten, he was suffer- barely talk. He has intrac- player on my son’s public residents of Wisconsin. The ing from fits so severe that table difficulty executing even school team, which includes curriculum can be tailored we had to restrain him. He the most mundane of motor fully my husband and me. to fit a child’s was diagnosed with Asperger sequences, such as touch- My colleagues and friends and abilities. Students inter- Syndrome, and we were told ing his nose, to say the least marvel at the relationship act through online discussion that he was “defi- of tying his shoes. Given his my husband and I have built boards and a monthly outing. nitely” developing 5

2e Newsletter • January/February 2006  www.2eNewsletter.com Feature: School Alternatives 2e Alternatives, continued early onset bipolar disor- ther Asperger Syndrome nor He’s struggled with so much unhappy. The school people der. My son moved schools bipolar disorder. He was just for so long.” became frustrated and be- five times including public, a misdiagnosed profoundly gan to try again to make French-immersion, a private gifted boy. The alternative high him fit in those ‘modified, one-room school, and finally “I have a bumper sticker school that Beth’s son at- but still present’ round peg homeschool. that reads, “Environment is tended is The Learning Cen- holes. It turned disastrous. “Homeschooling was ef- Everything.” Hampshire Coun- ter at Westlake High School in He began to have panic at- fective academically, but it try School has an environ- Austin, TX. TLC is a voluntary tacks at school and at home, had shortcomings for us. My ment that has meant every- program for which students too, when he thought about son was getting bored and thing to my son. It has been a apply. It was designed for school. His writings became needed more stimulation and lifesaver for our family.” non-traditional learners and dark and his anxiety spiked. physical activity – he fidgeted, at-risk students and has an “On his physician’s ad- fiddled, and paced while he Hampshire Country enrollment of about 40 stu- vice, my son stayed home worked. It became difficult to School is a very small board- dents with 4 full- or part-time from school. I notified the balance his needs with those ing school for boys in rural faculty and a part-time coun- school of the circumstances of his two younger brothers New Hampshire. For more selor. of his absence and subse- and his parents. information, see the interview According to Beth, “Each quently received a letter from “On the advice of a psy- with the HCS headmaster on student has a mentor to keep the district threatening to chiatrist, we started our son page 11 in this issue. him/her on track. Classes are take me to court and press on medication, but didn’t feel sometimes teacher directed, criminal charges unless I got it helped. If anything, it made An Alternative Public High especially for math. More my son back to his school im- him worse. His rigidity and in- School often, they’re self-paced, with mediately. I did take my son ability to cope within the fam- My son has a number of the student working with the back to the public school – ily led me to look into school LD issues along with bipolar instructor and from a list of just long enough to withdraw options for kids with Asperger disorder,” explained Beth. requirements and options to him. He insisted on being Syndrome. I found Hampshire “Because of all this, he had a complete the course. My son there to savor the moment. Country School, a boarding really spotted academic his- was able to complete many “I realized that as hard school, on the Internet. It tory. My son’s grades were of his classes well before the as the public school had tried looked like a perfect match; mostly mediocre and some- end of the semester, which to shave off my son’s corners but I couldn’t imagine having times worse. gave him more time to work and make him fit into their him move away from home at “Then two things hap- on areas that were harder for round holes during the past the age of 11, let alone af- pened. He became appro- him.” five years, I had been trying fording the tuition. Neverthe- priately medicated, and he just as hard to believe that less, we gave it a try. moved into a small, alterna- A Private Day School somehow I could make that “After one and a half tive high school – a wonderful “My son had an IEP that school system fit him. Impos- years at HCS, the change place with small groups, a included his gifted needs,” sible tasks, both. in my son is astonishing. teacher/mentor for each kid, said Mary Ellen. “He was in “Now, we finally get it. He hasn’t taken medication and self-paced learning. all GT classes and had his I see what it looks like for since he arrived there. His “His grades underwent own computer, keyboarding my son to be in a school “therapy” is playing outside, drastic improvement. We instruction, motor breaks, where he fits – without trying, building snow forts, and hik- recently got a letter from and much more. From the without , ing, all the while discussing one of the several colleges outside looking in, he had the without gifted programs. It ideas with other boys. My son that accepted him outright. perfect program and I was an works because it’s nothing is a happy, socially-engaged, They gave him a merit-based amazing advocate. like public school. It isn’t bright-eyed teenager. We scholarship of $5,000 a year “But it still didn’t fit. He just small classes, or grade now know that he has nei- for all four years!!! He really tried, he tolerated, he advo- skips, or special 6 needed this kind of boost. cated; and he became very accommodations www.2eNewsletter.com  2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 2e Feature: School Alternatives Profile: Brideun School Sometimes in school you just need to fidget; and some- are, the more likely they are to be out of sync. I’ve seen about times you just need some down time away from the noise, 5,000 kids, and I’d only rank five of them as not being out of light, and other people. Nowhere are these needs better un- sync.” derstood than at a small private school in Lafayette, Colorado. Of the approximately 60 children attending Brideun, many Accommodating individual differences was one of the founding have attention, reading, and writing difficulties. Others are principles of Brideun (pronounced Bri - doon ΄) School for Ex- bipolar or have Tourettes. About a third are diagnosed with ceptional Children. an disorder. Many of the students are also Walk through the school and you’ll see kids with the fidg- highly gifted. ets busily working while seated on a large ball or on a nubby “We get the really high IQ kids here,” Rice explains. Many cushion, each giving them are not identified when the sensory stimulation they they arrive and, accord- need in order to pay atten- ing to Rice, are not func- tion. Look in the cubby-sized tional. “When our stu- rooms located here and there dent with the highest IQ in the school and you’ll find a started at the school, he child relaxed on a comfy piece was suicidal and hadn’t of furniture, decompressing turned in work for three in the dim, quiet space. The and a half years. Now, school’s founder, psychologist after a year and a half at Marlo Payne Rice, explains Brideun, he’s no longer that “unless we address the suicidal and regularly sensory issues, we’re not re- turns in his work.” ally helping these kids.” Since it opened Much of Rice’s contact about five years ago, Bri- with gifted and twice-excep- Marlo Payne Rice in front of deun has offered its stu- the school she founded tional children has been in dents enrichment and her role as a trained school accelerated programs. psychologist. In her practice she has specialized in working The students range in age, with most in grades 1 through 8 with “extreme kids,” those she describes as having high intel- and a few in high school. Brideun has no assigned grade lev- ligence and significant issues.” Ask Rice what percentage of els, allowing children to work at their own academic level. gifted children are 2e and you might be surprised at her an- Students are grouped, however, by general age as well as swer. “I say 80 percent. Other people might say 15 percent.” by temperament for their morning classes, the 7 Based on her experience, Rice explains, “The more gifted they time of day when much of the academic work

Alternatives, continued tin, TX, and serves children in the public school, and began grades 6 through 12. Accord- eighth grade at the private and modifications. It’s an should have pressed criminal ing to the school’s website, its school. They completely sup- environment where learning charges against me for every mission is to provide an edu- port his radical acceleration and people are respected day my child attended their cational environment in which and, to the extent the sched- and there is time for discus- school, not for every day I “students are unique and ule will allow, the school ac- sion and for following one’s kept him away.” perfect exactly as they are.” commodates his abilities ful- curiosity and passion. My son According to Mary Ellen, ly. Individuality and indepen- explained, ‘It’s like a wonder- Mary Ellen’s son attends “The difference for my son dence are valued here. The ful summer camp where you The Khabele School (www. has been night and day. He adults in the school facilitate learn! It’s far too much fun to thekhabeleschool.org/cms/ is relaxed, enthusiastic, and the learning and the environ- call it school.’ index.php). This nonprofit pri- confident, with no more anxi- ment is respectful, encourag- “The public school vate school is located in Aus- ety. He left fourth grade at ing, and informal.” 2e 2e Newsletter • January/February 2006  www.2eNewsletter.com Feature: School Alternatives 2e Brideun, continued takes place. Students are assigned to groups based on wheth- The Brideun Name er or not they are adolescents and on how they handle frustra- tion – whether they are internalizing or externalizing. Students who are internalizing shut down when they are stressed. Those Brideun, in the Gaelic tradition, is translated as who are externalizing get angry. “little bird of the one who watches over us.” Similar Teaching at Brideun is done in two-person teams. One to our western symbolism of the dove of peace, the member, called the focus teacher, delivers the curriculum. Brideun bird represents safety, nurturing, and togeth- This teacher must know the content up to the college level and erness. is responsible for moving students from one level of content The actual Brideun bird is a small, oyster catcher to the next. The other member of the team, the core teacher, that is either black or black with white striped wings. helps students receive the curriculum. The core teacher han- Often referred to as Bridgid’s bird, the Brideun has dles behavior and mental health issues, addresses sensory/ motor skills, and provides emotional support. Core teachers mythical characteristics of being seen when children often come from the ranks of special education teachers and are near the waters of the ocean. A myth is told mental health professionals. that the ancestors asked Bridgid to assign her ani- Because Brideun is combined with Rice’s practice, The mal totem, the Brideun, to watch their children play Center for Education Enrichment, the school is able to offer and keep them from falling into the water while they students with disabilities a wide range of services, such as tended their fields. assessment, tutoring, private special education therapies, and The Brideun chant helps us remember our vision. counseling. The school also has a social worker on staff. There is a river of birds Afternoons at Brideun are a time for special education in migration and social skills instruction. During this time, students might take part in a listening program, take a study skills class, or a nation of children for the more aggressive students, take a peace skills class. with wings. Afternoons are also a time for enrichment. Students select Thus, Brideun is so named to represent what their enrichment classes from offerings such as flight simula- we believe to be the ultimate goal for all children, tor; outdoor recreation; vegetable gardening; role-playing and “Spread your wings and fly.” drama games; fantasy art; Spanish or French; book club; and creative writing. If they can’t find a class that interests them, – From the Brideun.com web site they can propose one. Parent and community volunteers help with these offerings. Underlying Brideun’s seemingly laid-back atmosphere are What does the future hold for Brideun? Marlo Rice has rules and structure. The school tracks students’ non-compli- an endless supply of ideas. Among them are a separate high ance and physical aggression. Failure to complete work can school, an early childhood center and therapy clinic, and cre- mean a mandatory study hall in place of enrichment class. ating videogame-like educational software. Her dream is to Aggressive behavior can lead to a trip to the time-out room, eventually see a Brideun-like classroom in all schools. known as “the dungeon.” There students must identify what These plans and dreams are motivated by Rice’s passion they did, come up with what they could have done instead, and for her students. “It’s about helping these kids have a life make amends if necessary. For some students an individual – some wouldn’t be here if they didn’t get this opportunity. behavior plan is drawn up. It’s exhausting to deal with these kids, asking teachers not Communication and negotiation are emphasized at the to fix, change, judge, or cure them – but toallow . If you allow school. Students can sign up at any time to meet with school long enough, they come into themselves. It’s very spiritual in directors Marlo Payne Rice and her husband Sean Rice, with a way.” the school social worker, or with a teacher. The school, accord- ing to Marlo Rice, is not a hierarchical system. The kids are Marlo Payne Rice serves on the editorial advisory board of 2e encouraged to defy authority; to ask “Why?”; to say “It isn’t Newsletter. 2e working for me”; and to find out what other options are avail- able. www.2eNewsletter.com  2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 2e Feature: School Alternatives Gifted Homeschoolers Forum It’s not hard to find information on homeschooling on the 300 active members.” web; that is, unless the child you’re homeschooling happens GHF members, who pay $24 a year to join, receive dis- to be gifted or twice-exceptional. Then you find yourself in what counts on certain books and on consultations with some pro- Corin Goodwin describes as that “no-person’s-land in between fessionals. For those who live in California, there are events homeschooling groups that don’t address gifted issues and such as programs with speakers and various activities for gifted groups that are very focused on school programs.” parents and kids. But you don’t have to be a member to take Goodwin knows about this difficult place because she part in the online discussion group or to take advantage of the homeschools her own two highly gifted, twice-exceptional chil- many articles and other resources available on the site, includ- dren. Plus, for several years she was the Gifted/Special Needs ing a listing of 2e resources. Advisor for the HomeSchool Association of California. “Almost The goal of Goodwin, of GHF co-founder Tiffany Tan, and of anyone wanting to homeschool their gifted child in California other involved parents is not to evangelize for homeschooling. got sent to me at some point,” she explains. “Their most com- “Rather,” explains Goodwin, “we’re trying to get the message mon concerns were finding friends and activities for their kids out that every gifted and 2e child has unique needs and that and peer support for themselves.” homeschooling or other alternatives to full-time traditional At the urging of several parents, Goodwin began an e-mail school are worth considering. discussion list in 2004 to address the needs of this special “With the budget issues in California and other states, population. The list, California Gifted Homeschoolers, grew and with the rise of NCLB and the standards-based curricula, quickly. public schools are less likely to provide good matches for our Before long, Goodwin and other parents active on the list kids. The number of families seeking options for educating saw the need for something more. Pooling their efforts, they their gifted and 2e children is growing rapidly. We want these created the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum, an organization families to know that homeschooling (in whatever form they with a website that serves as a repository of information on choose) is a valid option, and we are here to support them and and resources for homeschooling gifted and twice-exceptional help them get connected with resources and with other fami- children. lies like theirs.” “We ‘opened our doors’ in February, 2005,” remembers Goodwin is gratified at the positive response that the Goodwin, who serves as the director of the new organization. Gifted Homeschoolers Forum has received. “I really, really love “We are now approaching 200 members. Many are from out- that I can help,” she states. “I was one of those kids once, and side of California, and not all are homeschoolers. The e-mail I could have used the help.” 2e discussion list (now housed on the GHF website) has about

Finding GHF on the Web

The Gifted Homeschoolers Forum: http://giftedhome- schoolers.org

The e-mail discussion list California Gifted Home- schoolers: http://gifted- homeschoolers.org/mail- inglist.html

2e Newsletter • January/February 2006  www.2eNewsletter.com Feature: School Alternatives 2e Kinesthetic Learners: A Homeschool Success Story

Adapted with permission from an article by Kayla Garelick on teacher and the other students. Many educators prefer that the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum (http://giftedhomeschool- students remain seated at their desks or in a neat line. Being ers.org/2eresources.html). restricted can so frustrate kinesthetic learners, however, that they may shut down entirely – as did Gutsygirl. Many of us are homeschooling because our children are After years of struggling with many different schools, I twice exceptional and their needs could not be met in school. finally brought my kinesthetic Gutsygirl home to learn. At age Some of our children learn so differently that they need edu- 11, she could not sit still. She needed to touch to understand cational experiences designed to meet their unique needs. and, most important, she needed to be in a place where being Let me introduce my daughter (let’s call her Gutsygirl), who herself was okay. seems to learn only while in motion. From the beginning, she My first concern for her as we began homeschooling was has charged forward to meet the physical world and learn all that she should regain her sense of self. In school, her need about it through her body. She needs to touch and manipulate for motion was not acceptable and, as a result, she felt that objects and get her whole body involved. there was something wrong with her. I knew it was the educa- A kinesthetic learner, like Gutsygirl, can be at a distinct tional system, lacking in flexibility, that was flawed – not Gutsy- disadvantage in a typical classroom setting. A teacher might girl. I wanted her to be able to see that, too. give a highly verbal learner books through which to learn about At home, my daughter could excel in her areas of strength the world, or give a visual learner pictures and symbols to un- because we did not have to accommodate a classroom full of derstand the world. The kinesthetic learner, however, is often different kids with different learning styles. Homeschooling a mystery to teachers. While teachers usually try to reach all gave us the freedom to go in search of activities specific to the areas of their students’ strengths, the kinesthetic learning way Gutsygirl learned best. I realized the lessons I learned as style is the least considered and least tolerated in most typi- a preschool teacher about using the whole body for learning cal classroom settings. Having several people in the class- could be adapted to teach my middle schooler. I knew that I room moving at once would be chaotic, unsettling to both the 10

The Least-Worst Educational Option On the Other Hand

By Carolyn K., Webmistress of Hoagies’ Page Says Carolyn K: “I do believe that there can be a per- fect educational situation, though what that ideal situation Long ago, a wise friend suggested that I was agonizing too is varies by child. For my kids, it would be a classroom with much over the educational decisions before me, concerning a collection of children who were about the same age, and my gifted child. In my usual way, I collected tons of informa- at about the same level in their academic subjects, who all tion (visit Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page!) on every aspect of learned at about the same pace. The teacher would be pas- every decision. I weighed the pros and cons, listened to every sionate about all of his subjects, and confident enough in potential expert, every experienced parent... and the inevitable his ability to admit when the kids know more than he does. result was... Terror! And the class day would be arranged so that the kids could That’s when I came up with the idea of the “least-worst” pursue each subject passionately and at length, before choice.... moving on to another subject; perhaps in a day, or a week, or a month. There would be places for the kids to learn Read the full text of Carolyn K’s article on the 2e Newsletter “actively,” including standing, rocking, and other unusual website. Find out what the least-worst choice is and how to options. And much of the learning would be “hands-on,” come up with it as you make decisions about your child’s edu- with lab sciences and math manipulatives through at least cation. 2e algebra. Field trips would be a regular part of the class ex- perience.” www.2eNewsletter.com  2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 2e Feature: School Alternatives Kinesthetic Learners, continued had to fully engage her by using her need to move, her love of was important to bring Gutsygirl together with people just like drama, and her ability to transform through her body. her. Theater classes were a wonderful opportunity to do this. As our learning at home began, we immediately got on They were taught at a theater, with actors from the theater the move. We drove out to historical recreations of gold mines company doing the teaching. One of the local homeschooling and to the epicenter of the 1906 earthquake, where she could charter schools even gave credit for the classes. walk the distance between the fences that moved when the We also belonged to a history group. The group studied ground moved. We went to a hands-on science and art center a time period, met weekly for crafts and other activities, and in San Francisco that requires people to move to interact with cooked food relevant to the era. At the end of the year, we had the exhibits. I also signed my daughter up for classes and ac- a culminating “history faire.” Everyone came as characters de- tivities – circus classes, acting classes, martial arts, gymnas- veloped by the kids and based on fictional or real historic fig- tics, and swimming. ures who existed or could have existed at that time in history. Once my daughter, then 12, began to recover from her My daughter left homeschooling for a public high school unpleasant school experiences, it was time to start thinking that offered a great arts program and a fabulous theater pro- about using her strengths to teach some academics. I knew gram! In school, the kids work on academics in the morning that any concept can be more fully explored by kinesthetic and theater, movement, physical theater, Afro-Haitian dance, learners when they act it out. For example, they can create and Asian drama in the afternoon. They recently presented a and direct a play about an historical event with other home- program to show what they’d learned in their theater classes. schoolers; or they can storyboard, tape, and edit a video about I was blown away by how great these kids are! She is so happy the ecosystem of their backyard. Everything for kinesthetic to be surrounded by kids just like her! learners is better conveyed in the context of movement, even if it does not involve actually moving. For her, creating and using Kayla Garelick homeschooled her daughter through middle artifacts works better than examining them at a museum, un- school and her son through high school. She holds a Masters less she can pick them up and play with them! Degree from the Bank Street School of Education, a Masters A big challenge was teaching math. While math manipu- in Law from New York University, and a JD from Rutgers Law latives are great, they have their limits. Manipulatives can School. She can be reached at [email protected]. 2e promote understanding of concepts and operations, but they don’t put math in the context of its practical uses, or come with sound and motion, or make use of story. So we looked for Suggestions for Learning through Touch and Movement teaching moments in everyday situations. Shopping, cooking, From the website LDpride.net tipping the server at a restaurant or the taxi driver all got my daughter to regularly use pre-algebra operations. • Take frequent study breaks. Computer math games like the various Clue Finders Ad- • Move around to learn new things (e.g., read on an exer- ventures also helped. To promote memorization, I found Times cise bike, mold a piece of clay to learn a concept). Tables the Fun Way: A Picture Method of Learning Multiplica- • Work in a standing position. tion Facts. This system for memorizing time tables relies on • Chew gum while studying. story associations and funny rhymes placed in strongly visual • Use bright colors to highlight reading material. settings, an approach that can work for many types of learn- • Dress up your work space with posters. ers. • Listen to music while studying. In homeschooling our daughter, we used books on tape, • Skim through reading material to get a rough idea what which Gutsygirl usually read along with in order to help her it is about before settling down to read it in detail. stay focused. It was easy to daydream, she admitted, if she just listened. We also rented videos about the cultures that we For more information and resources on different learning were studying. styles, please see the 2e resources pages on this website: Kinesthetic learners are often loud and boisterous, or sim- Gifted Homeschoolers Forum (http:// giftedhomeschool- ply seem to bounce off of the walls. They can seem entirely out ers.org/2eresources.html). of place in many settings, even family gatherings. I realized it

2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 10 www.2eNewsletter.com Feature: School Alternatives 2e Hampshire Country School Several subscribers to 2e Newsletter have contacted us to We are an excellent option for certain 2e children, especially praise the job Hampshire Country School has been doing with those with diagnoses such as Asperger Syndrome or Nonver- their twice-exceptional children. The school, located in rural bal . However, our school and its program New Hampshire, is a very small boarding school for boys, most are decades older than those labels, and we do not focus on between the ages of 8 and 15. 2e Newsletter conducted an diagnoses the way many newer programs might; nor do we interview by e-mail with the school’s headmaster, Bill Dicker- view ourselves as a treatment program. We are best charac- man, to find out what sets this school apart from others. terized as an alternative school that happens to like certain students who may be con-

Q: How long have you been The Main House at HCS sidered irritants (or worse) in the head of the school? many other school settings. A: I joined the faculty in 1971 Hampshire Country School and became headmaster in is an especially good choice 1996. for students seeking a place where they will thrive for a Q: Has it always been a few years, rather than just a school for twice-exceptional transition program of a year boys? or two. A: Hampshire Country School was founded on our present Q: Are many of your kids on site in 1948, but its begin- medication? nings go back to the 1930s, A: Most arrive taking quite a when Henry and Adelaide Patey began taking children into bit of medication – sometimes three or four major psychiatric/ their home. The Pateys were unusual in their liking for and behavioral medicines that they have been taking for several understanding of certain bright, complex youngsters that years. Because our school is less stressful for most students most people found perplexing. Rather than follow the psycho- than their previous settings, and because we are able to adapt therapeutic approaches common at the time, the Pateys ap- to (and, in fact, often enjoy) some of their idiosyncratic behav- proached their youngsters in very ordinary ways, but with the ior, most students reduce, and then discontinue, their medica- Pateys’ special confidence and understanding. (Henry Patey tion during their first months with us. In general, our students was a psychologist; Adelaide Patey was a teacher of music and are more lively, enthusiastic, and connected without their languages.) medication. The most consistent changes are that they laugh The Pateys’ interest was in children of unusually high ability and play more and enjoy the fun and pleasure of life. who had difficulty managing the high pressure and complex social expectations of other settings and who would respond Q: Can you describe the typical new arrival to your school and well to the somewhat relaxed, nurturing, and predictable life in how that student might change over time? the Pateys’ home. Hampshire Country School has developed A: Parents see bigger initial changes than we do because they in many ways since those early days, but both the general phi- have years of experience with a boy who has not fit well into losophy and the kind of students we serve are the same. other schools or his community (or perhaps home). Often, the students likely to fit at Hampshire Country School realize the Q: Can you describe the school? match during their first visit. They seem to know almost at A: We are smaller than most schools, have a large number of once that this is their kind of place. Parents also tend to notice adults for so few students, live in a beautiful country setting, their child’s reaction during the visit, and they often mention a enjoy our particular students, and share with them an enthu- change in their son’s demeanor just in the few hours the fam- siasm for the simple things in life. Both students and adults ily is here. After the visit, most students enroll with enthusiasm here take special pleasure in reading, thinking, and learning (although also with the apprehensions that char- 12 (compared, for instance, with those schools where athletics or acterize anyone entering a new setting). a modern social life might be primary interests). www.2eNewsletter.com 11 2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 2e Feature: School Alternatives News, continued

JJ says, “Apparently the principal felt this was the way to ting action. In addition, the district sent eight teachers to a Fu- teach our son.” The principal reportedly told the juvenile of- ture Horizon conference on Asperger’s/autism and has hired ficer that the reason for the assault charges was that “the a consultant. The school has also developed a program for parents need to know where this is going.” At the time, JJ won- social skill issues. dered whether the actions represented discrimination toward Since these actions, says JJ, she has noticed a change in the disability, or whether the principal simply believed that her son’s tension level. She believes teachers are now com- there was no disability. municating more effectively with him, and she says “It will be Since the charges and the resulting suspension from interesting to see where this goes with the new year.” school, JJ and her husband have had several IEP meetings To JJ, the incident shows both the importance and the fra- during which they discovered that teachers and staff were not gility of relationships with school system administrators. It also familiar with Asperger’s. It also turns out, according to JJ, that illustrates, she says, how at-risk those with Asperger’s can be none of the teachers or new staff had read her son’s IEP be- in interactions with authority figures and the law enforcement fore the incidents that led to the charges. system. In November, a state advocate for children with disabili- ties was assigned to the family. The advocate has attended For more information on Asperger Syndrome and other ASDs, IEP meetings, which, JJ says, seems to be “the ticket” to get- see the June, 2005 issue of 2e Newsletter. 2e

Hampshire Country School, continued

Over time, our students tend to grow in confidence, maturity, Hillary Clinton said, “It takes a village to raise a child.” For our and good scholastic habits. Difficulties with fellow students, students, we are that village, where every person is involved adults, and school work are not uncommon; but the difficul- in caring for everyone else. All of this sounds a bit dreamy and ties become an expected and manageable part of life rather idealistic, but this is indeed a very nice place for a child or than the precursors of a crisis. Maladaptive personal char- young adolescent to spend a few years growing acteristics may not disappear, but they are likely to become up. 2e benign rather than malignant. In other words, they may still be noticeable, but no longer dominate the student’s life; and they no longer severely interfere with school work, participation in Some Facts about Hampshire Country School activities, and general relationships with other people. • Designed especially for middle-school students Q: What do you think you offer that public schools don’t or • Especially suitable for high-ability boys who require an can’t? unusual amount of adult attention, support, and energy A: Public schools have responsibilities to many different kinds • Faculty to student ratio 2 : 3 of students and to the public. We have a tiny niche in the edu- cation world and can concentrate all our energy on one par- • Usual entering ages 8–12 ticular group of students. We offer a small, safe, educationally • Number of students: 25 oriented, and generally happy boarding school community in • Tuition: $39,000 a beautiful and relatively isolated country setting. Our world is • Financial aid: None completely free of illegal drugs or alcohol; and our days are not • Web site: www.hampshirecountryschool.org interrupted by television, violent video games, or noisy traffic.

2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 12 www.2eNewsletter.com Book Review 2e Lisa Rivero’s Guide for Homeschooling Creative Home Schooling: A Resource Guide for In Part 2 of the book, Smart Families “Creating Your Home School By Lisa Rivero Approach,” Rivero explains Great Potential Press (April, 2002) how homeschooling can be Reviewed by Linda C. Neumann very different from “school at home,” and she examines When I first readCreative Home Schooling back in 2002, four common approaches to it had a different title. Then it was called Creative Home homeschooling: Schooling for Gifted Children: A Resource Guide. Since then, • Unschooling and self-di- only the name has changed; the content is the same. rected learning Whatever the title (and however it’s spelled: home • Studying individual sub- schooling or homeschooling), this book is a “must read” for jects anyone raising and teaching gifted kids, whether they are • Classical home schooling homeschooling or not. While the book does a fine job of ful- • Unit studies. filling its role as a resource guide for homeschooling, it also In these chapters Rivero discusses how to apply gifted ed- serves as an excellent guide for understanding gifted and ucation and creativity research to these different approaches. twice-exceptional learners. Again, much of the information provided here has relevance Author Lisa Rivero begins this book by explaining what beyond the homeschooling community. led her and her husband to decide to homeschool their very The title of Part 3 is "Your Creative Home School Toolbox." bright, intense, and sensitive son. However, she states that the Here the author delves into the details of homeschooling, book is not about her family’s journey through homeschooling. including selecting curriculum materials, keeping records, Instead, she explains, she wrote “the kind of homeschooling testing, and preparing for college. She also addresses spe- book I wish I’d had – one that is informed by the research and cial issues such as profoundly gifted children and learning scholarship of gifted education and homeschooling advocates differences. The last chapter of the book offers a wealth of as well as by the wisdom of other families of homeschooled homeschooling resources. gifted learners….” Creative Home Schooling can give undecided parents the Rivero combines the “scholarship and wisdom” into well confidence and guidance to give homeschooling a try. It can structured chapters. Most start with a quote that gives insight provide those already teaching their children at home plenty into the topic covered in the chapter. The heart of each chap- of useful information and resources. And for the rest of us, it ter is research-based discussion interspersed with quotes con- offers well researched and well written discussions of topics veying the thoughts and experiences of homeschooling par- relevant to raising and teaching exceptional children, like the ents. Wrapping up each chapter is a summary of main points following: followed by questions for reflection. These encourage parents An educational environment that respects the to think about what they have just read in terms of how it re- complexity of children does not force a particular lates to their own child. Next is a list of resources that range learning style or characteristic but will encourage from books and other publications to organizations, websites, children to explore all facets of their personalities software, and media. Finally, chapters conclude with the words and will resist the temptation to limit children’s of homeschooled students themselves. views of themselves. While understanding a child’s The book is organized into three parts. The first, “At Home preferred modes of learning or dominant personal- with Gifted Children,” provides readers with the background ity traits – such as a visual-spatial learning style they need to understand giftedness. As the author explains, in – can be valuable for both parents and children, a Part 1 she wants to show the reader “how being gifted shapes creative learning environment presumes that such a child’s personality, behavior, and education.” Two especially “diagnoses” are never ends in themselves, but rath- useful topics covered here are traits of giftedness and learning er jumping-off places for broader understanding styles. Part 1 also helps parents understand what it means to and inclusivity, paving the way for the possibility of play two roles in their child’s life: parent and teacher, informa- fuller integration of dimensions as the child grows tion essential in deciding whether or not to homeschool. to adulthood. 2e www.2eNewsletter.com 13 2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 2e Meredith Warshaw’s Column The Power of a Name The Good and Bad Side of Labels

Max finds reading painfully difficult. Assessed as dyslexic, The Positives he’s eligible to get help from a special ed teacher at school. Despite all of these negatives, there are also positives to Hannah often talks out in class at the wrong time and has using labels, as long as the labels are correct for that child. trouble understanding social interactions. She’s been diag- These include: nosed with Asperger Syndrome. Max’s and Hannah’s parents • Seal of Authenticity. When teachers and other adults in a face a set of difficult decisions shared by all parents of chil- child’s life are apprised of a child’s diagnosis, it tells them dren with special needs – should they share the diagnosis that there’s a reason for the child’s behaviors that might with the school? With their special needs children? With otherwise be attributed to bad parenting, naughtiness, or siblings, other family members, and friends? What are the not trying. It also gives them information on more produc- benefits of sharing? Will “labeling” their children help or hurt tive ways to manage the child’s behaviors in the class- them? There are no easy answers. room and at home. Giving a name to a child’s difficulties brings with it both • Validation. Children already know they’re different from costs and benefits – names are powerful. The balance will their classmates. Very often, they interpret that difference vary with each family situation. The following discussion lays as meaning that they’re “stupid” or “weird.” It can help out some of the considerations parents need to weigh in mak- children who are demoralized to learn the reason for their ing their decisions. struggles, such as: “It’s hard for you to pay attention in the classroom because you have more trouble than most The Negatives people hearing when there’s background noise”; or “The • Stereotyping. A label can give people a false sense of reason you have trouble reading is because you have dys- knowing all about a child. Most special needs are het- lexia; and now that we know, we can get you reading in- erogeneous within categories; that is, they encompass a struction that fits the way you learn.” Providing this type of broad range of symptoms and behaviors. For example, explanation also lets children know that we believe them three children with AD/HD may present with three very when they say they can’t (rather than won’t) do something different profiles of strengths and weaknesses and vary – often after years of being berated for not trying. widely in the types of support and management they need • Understanding. For all the risks of stereotyping, knowing at school and home. However, a teacher told that Terry a label can help the people around a child better under- has AD/HD may think he knows all he needs to about the stand her challenges and strengths. Teachers can be child. For this reason, Dr. Mel Levine, author of Education- more patient with a child who needs directions repeated al Care, prefers to use what he calls a phenomenological due to a hearing problem rather than lack of attention. approach, outlining a child’s strengths and weaknesses Once the school knows that a child has Asperger Syn- and then formulating educational and home strategies to drome, behavior seen as “sassy” can now be seen as the support the child. result of not understanding what is being requested or not • Hopelessness. Parents may fear that once their child has knowing how to act appropriately. a label, those who work with her will give up on her, lower- • Education. If we give in to the fear of stigma, we lose the ing their expectations to match their (possibly erroneous) chance to educate the community about the true nature ideas of the severity, pervasiveness, and permanence of of special needs. I am not suggesting sacrificing our kids’ the child’s limitations. well-being in order to teach others. However, showing • Stigma. Although there has been progress in the past few that we are not embarrassed by our child’s special needs decades, a stigma is still associated with most special teaches people around us that it’s not something shame- needs. Parents may fear that their special needs child will ful. be viewed as “dumb” or “crazy.” • Services. Having a diagnostic label is important for getting services in the schools. Children not identified as having special learning needs will not receive the accommoda- tions and remediation they need to succeed. 15

2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 14 www.2eNewsletter.com Dear Dr. Sylvia 2e Just a Stage? Or Ready for Professional Help?

My niece’s oldest sult a professional, if only ing her problem as boredom Dr. Sylvia child is a bright to get reassurance and di- is typical of a child who either Rimm is Q eight-year-old who’s rection, and to prevent any doesn’t understand what her a child further downward trend. How problem is (and eight-year- psycholo- been underachieving in school since first grade. She does one know whether prob- olds don’t often understand gist and rarely finishes her work, lems with a young child are their problems) or who may clinical though it’s work she could “just a stage” and when they be masking some fears she’s professor easily do. Her teacher has are serious enough to war- afraid to explore. at Case taken away everything in her rant professional help? My book Why Bright Kids University School of Medi- desk except what she needs Get Poor Grades (Crown, cine, author, newspaper and for a specific activity because When children go 1995) may be helpful to the magazine columnist, and she was shredding paper and through stages, girl’s mother. If it doesn’t radio/TV personality. You pouring glue on herself rather A they’re either brief or reveal the girl’s problems, can visit her website at www. sylviarimm.com. For a free than doing her work. She are typical of many children a professional psychologist loves her teacher, so person- their age. The characteristics may be helpful. The girl’s newsletter on underachieve- ality conflict isn’t the issue. of underachievement you’ve mother could check with the ment syndrome, send a large Just the other day, she began cited have gone on far too school to determine if the self-addressed, stamped peeling wallpaper off the long to be just a stage. Fur- school psychologist can do envelope to P.O. Box 32, walls of her bedroom. When thermore, the shredding of an evaluation, or if they can Watertown, WI, 53094, or asked why she does these paper at her desk or on her recommend a psychologist read Solving The Mysterious things, she says she doesn’t wall isn’t directly related to who works with children and Underachievement Problem know or she’s bored. underachievement and could their parents around school at www.sylviarimm.com. 2e I suggested to her mom be symptoms of other ten- or anxiety issues. that it might be time to con- sions she may feel. Describ-

Meredith Warshaw’s Column, continued

• Family Interactions. Siblings need to know about the label is often “lazy,” “unmotivated,” or “stupid.” In my experi- special needs in order to understand what’s going on in ence, being given the correct label is often liberating for a the family. Not only does it help them be more patient child and relieves stigma rather than bestowing it. and sympathetic, it can also be crucial for dealing with There’s no right answer to the question of when to use any teasing they may encounter at school. If classmates labels. As with everything else pertaining to our twice-excep- say “Your brother is a weirdo,” it makes a big difference tional kids, one size does not fit all. That said, it is always to know that he isn’t that way by choice but because he important to keep an open mind about labels and not reject has Asperger Syndrome. A lot is asked of siblings of spe- them out of hand. The information and explanation they give cial needs children, and they are better able to rise to the can be life-changing. challenge if they aren’t kept in the dark. (For more on this, see the article at http://uniquelygifted.org/siblings.htm.) Whether or not they have diagnoses, our kids are labeled. Meredith Warshaw, M.S.S., M.A., is a special needs educa- If a child has AD/HD but the school doesn’t know about it, tional advisor, writer, lecturer, and contributing editor for 2e the teacher’s label for the child may be “bad kid” or “behavior Newsletter. She may be reached for comment and response problem.” If a child has an undiagnosed learning disability, the to this column at [email protected]. 2e www.2eNewsletter.com 15 2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 2e Bob Seney on Books Surviving the Applewhites

When I learned that the theme for this issue was boy who already shows signs alternatives to public schooling, I knew exactly which book to of talent in the visual arts. share – Stephanie Tolan’s Surviving the Applewhites (2002, As the story unfolds, we HarperCollins Publishers). There are several reasons for see that both Jake and E. D. choosing this 2003 Newbery Honor Book. First, Stephanie are searching for their own is one of us – a former teacher of the gifted, a counselor worth and identity. Eventu- of the highly gifted, an active member of NAGC, and a well- ally, they find what they’re known speaker on giftedness. I hope that many of you know seeking through their work on her Welcome to the Ark (1996, Morrow Junior Books), a Randolph’s unorthodox com- particularly significant book for gifted students. The second munity theatre production book in the Ark series, Flight of the Raven (2001, Morrow of The Sound of the Music. Junior Books), is just as riveting; and I am impatiently awaiting Added to a multiracial cast the third and final book in the series. is a crazy goat, a parrot who In Surviving the Applewhites, Tolan has once again curses in three languages, a proven her versatility and her ability to succeed in any genre seemingly misfit young man of young adult literature. Applewhites is bound to please, who is drawn to the Applewhites, a dog named Winston, and and it provides a chuckle (if not a downright belly laugh) on finally Lucille’s guru. The mixture results in a truly fun reading nearly every page. The book deals with the wonderful, wacky experience. Applewhite family – each talented in his or her own way – and This is a novel that’s just too easy to say too much about. Jake Semple, a delinquent on the rise (or perhaps already However, we can’t leave “Wits End” without mentioning the there). Jake has been kicked out of several middle schools in school. The adults each have a day in which they are respon- at least two states, and his latest expulsion has landed him sible for “teaching,” but the real guiding force of the school is at “Wit’s End.” That’s not only the name of the Applewhite Zedediah. As Jake comments, “Unlike the rest of the family, farm, but a pretty good description of where Jake is in his life. Zedediah had a habit of actually showing up. He’d even de- He is now to be homeschooled at the Applewhites’ “Creative mand to see what they’d been doing and ask them questions Academy.” about it. Jake hated Zedediah days.” Surviving the Applewhites is not only Jake’s story, but also The school operates under the motto created by Zede- E.D.’s. She is the “normal” one in the very unusual Applewhite diah: “Education is an adventurous quest for the meaning of family. Surrounding her are the patriarch of the family, Zede- life, involving an ability to think things through.” At one time, diah, his two sons, and their wives and children. Zedediah is a he asks Jake “What gives you joy?” Then he explains that well-known maker of rocking chairs. One son, Archie, is equally once Jake could answer that question, he would know what well known for his modern wood sculptures. Archie’s wife, Lu- he wanted from an education – and life as well. It is both cille, is a mystic and a poet. The other son is Randolph, father Jake’s and E.D.’s search for joy that Surviving the Applewhites of E.D. and her siblings. Randolph is a celebrated theatre di- is all about. Their search provides us with a fun and signifi- rector of both on- and off-Broadway productions; and his wife, cant reading experience. Perhaps it also gives us a goal for Sybil Jameson, is an author of mystery novels. our schools as well! Happy reading! The talent and idiosyncrasies don’t stop with the adults. Hal, a 17-year-old, is a multi-talented artist, sculptor, and even- Bob Seney is a professor in the Masters tually, we find out, set designer. Not simply an introvert, he is a of Gifted Studies Program at Mississippi recluse, who for a year has not come out of his room, where he University for Women. His favorite gradu- is working on an unknown project. Cordelia, 15, is the beauty ate course to teach is Reading for the of the family in Jake’s eyes, a dancer who is creating a ballet Gifted Adolescent. At conferences, he of- for which she is also composing the music, making the cos- ten presents a session titled “What’s New tumes, and designing the set. Next is E. D., who just doesn’t in Young Adult Literature.” Bob serves on feel like a valued member of her remarkable family. Then the NAGC Board of Directors. Reach him there’s the youngest child, Destiny, a very verbal four-year-old at [email protected]. 2e

2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 16 www.2eNewsletter.com Feature Article 2e Finding a School that Fits, continued fast tempo, and so on. Focus on your child as a whole person, websites and in brochures can be misleading. Some schools not just on what you think are educational needs. that seem ideal for “quirky” kids who haven’t succeeded in Next to each trait, jot down activities and elements of the traditional environments are actually populated by youngsters environment that would suit a person like that. For example, a with more serious problems and less academic capability. divergent thinker would benefit from the opportunity to putter Some will only take youngsters with formal diagnoses of LD in a science lab or explore a craft without having to complete who have no history of disruptive behavior; they might not be projects on a timetable. An intense and driven child, on the willing to accept a child whose record describes him as vola- other hand, may need the challenge of competition and the tile, eccentric, or high-maintenance. And some schools are too chance to set new records. Depending on the kind of person high-pressured for your 2e child, who may be fragile, despite your child is, he might need clear structure or loose structure, her talents. an abundance and variety of students or a small setting with There are good programs, however. They may be public or few students, frequent changes of activity or time to pursue an private, day or boarding. Some, like Hampshire Country School interest without interruption, opportunity to compete and excel (page 11 in this issue), have been around for decades. Others, or de-emphasis on grades and freedom to learn at her own like Franklin Academy in Connecticut, or the Brideun School pace. Be as specific as you can. in Colorado, or Bridges Academy in California, are newer. Oc- Then you need to prioritize. Rate each item as either A or casionally a public school district will set up a special program B, depending on how essential each is for your child’s well-be- to address 2e needs, like those in Albuquerque, New Mexico; ing. The things you rated A are what you must have in a school. Cherry Creek, Colorado; and Montgomery County, Maryland. They are your priorities. Other features, the B items, may be Or, if you’re lucky, there may be a nearby and suitable option less important for your particular child. These are the features under another name (e.g., Westchester County, New York, has it would be nice to have because they support your child’s core an alternative public school program for the “gifted-handi- traits, but they’re not a priority. capped”) and you won’t have to search far or come up with a The important thing is that the school’s style shouldn’t hefty private school tuition. contradict your child’s basic nature. For instance, if your child tends to obsess and insist on perfection, a school with lots of Public Alternatives rules, inspections, and competition would only increase your Public school programs vary from district to district, ac- child’s anxiety. It’s not for him or her, even if the school’s other cording to budget constraints, priorities, and the style of the features seem right on target. Special Education Chairperson (the gatekeeper for services, Go back to the list of your child’s traits. Rank your current assuming your child’s diagnosis entitles him or her to classifi- school according to how well it matches each of your child’s cation as a special education student). Federal law states that needs. Then ask: does my child need a change? every child is entitled to an “appropriate” educational program, and district personnel may feel that your child can manage What Are My Options? What’s Out There? perfectly well in a regular school with a few extra supports and Once you figure out what your child needs, how do you find enrichment activities. The burden is on you to prove otherwise. it? New programs open up all the time, all over the country, Even if you do and your district is willing to find (and fund) with a spectrum of styles and price tags. However, finding the another program, it still has to be the “least restrictive,” mean- right match can be difficult. ing closest to regular mainstream schooling. Your child may If you go on the Internet and type in “schools, twice excep- have to go through a series of failed placements before the tional,” you’ll get lots of great articles but no list. You can try district will pay for a more comprehensive or distant program visiting www.petersons.com or consulting Peterson’s Private that’s actually the one he needs. The process can take a long Secondary Schools 2006, a nearly 1,500-page resource guide. time and waste valuable years – years in which your child can However, you’re still likely to spend frustrating and fruitless become frustrated, angry, or depressed from being in a setting hours scrolling through schools that turn out to be inappropri- where she doesn’t belong. ate. One reason for the difficulty is that there’s no name for Private Alternatives this kind of school, no category you can search for. The usual For those with the financial means, a private school is categories, like preparatory schools or therapeutic programs, often the best (and speediest) solution. When you explore 18 aren’t quite right. Another reason is that descriptions on private schools, however, there are no guidance www.2eNewsletter.com 17 2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 2e Feature Article Finding a School that Fits, continued counselors or school psychologists to provide screening and quality control, so you need to be cautious. Impressions can this can be a long and uncertain road. Alternatively, if your be misleading. Every website looks terrific; facilities can be child sees a psychiatrist willing to state that he or she requires impressive; and many schools, even the ones that are “hard a specialized program, you may be able to deduct a percent- to get into,” will put their best foot forward in order to compete age of tuition from your taxes as a medical expense. Loans for your business. and scholarships from nonprofit organizations like the David- You should have a clear sense of every private school you son Institute for Talent Development and the Jack Kent Cook investigate. A school should know, and be able to communi- Foundation are also possible. cate, what it is and who it serves. No school can be all things If you find a terrific program that’s far away, you have an to all people; a school needs to be comfortable with what it additional dilemma. Should you try to relocate, perhaps tem- is and what it is not. You may find yourself tempted by a pres- porarily, or should you consider boarding school? Sending your tigious program that accepts a certain percentage of young- child to boarding school can be a hard decision for parents. sters with LD, Asperger Syndrome, or AD/HD; but be sure that It can make you feel that you’re giving up control, losing your services are provided to help those students succeed. When place in your child’s life, or that you’ve failed your child at a school tries to serve two agendas – accepting children with home. Adjusting to boarding school is often more difficult for issues in order to boost enrollment or qualify for certain fund- the parents than for the child, especially if the child is happy ing, while still projecting the image of a traditional prep school and has found peers, perhaps for the first time. to please parents and donors – it’s the 2e youngster, caught There may be additional internal obstacles to accepting between agendas, who suffers most. that your child needs something other than a mainstream You’ll have a wider range of possibility in private schools education. It may require a shift in expectations, the abandon- than in public, as long as you’re careful and discerning. While ment of old dreams, and the acceptance of new ones. Both a track record is important and convenience is nice, the most parents may not go through this process in the same way or at important thing is the fit for your child. Fit comes from the the same time; and strained family relations can result, espe- school’s philosophy and also from the people, students, and cially with members of your extended family, who may not un- staff who comprise its community. Because some programs derstand what you’re going through or why you want to “send change character from year to year, depending on the students your child away.” enrolled, it’s important to visit rather than relying on alumni data or printed testimonials that reflect the school’s past, and Who Can Help? not necessarily its present, character. You may need a guide on your journey. Often this means an educational consultant. Though this involves an additional What Are the Obstacles? expense (up to several thousand dollars), it can be money well There may be external obstacles, like constraints of lo- spent. The consultant is likely to have much broader knowl- cation and tuition. Cost is obviously a factor in considering edge about schools – and greater objectivity about your child a private school, especially one with small class size, high – than you do and can save you many false starts. staff/student ratio, and other special features like individual- You can do some legwork yourself before deciding if a con- ized instruction, tutorial services, counseling, and so on. Day sultant is necessary. Start with the Petersons’ Guide, making schools usually cost from $15,000 to $25,000 per year, and sure to read the entire description of a school and not just the full boarding schools from $35,000 to $55,000 per year. “blurb.” Log onto twice-exceptional websites and follow every Some are even higher. link. Go to conferences and gather literature. Find information You may need to be creative about financing your child’s and support groups that may know about programs, and ask schooling. If the school has a therapeutic component, you may everyone whose opinion you respect – guidance counselors, be able to get your health insurance carrier to pay the thera- doctors, camp specialists, clergy – about schools they’ve peutic portion. If you can convince your school district to pay heard about. for the educational part, you’ll only need to cover incidentals If you decide to use an educational consultant, make sure and the residential cost (room and board, if appropriate). Tak- you find one through the Independent Educational Consultants ing your school district to court, if you feel it’s refused to meet Association (IECA), rather than through advertisements or per- your child’s needs, may be a way to finance tuition; however, sonal websites. Go to www.educationalconsulting. org, IECA’s website, to be sure the consultant 19 2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 18 www.2eNewsletter.com The End of the Issue 2e Finding a School that Fits, continued you’re considering is a member. Founded in 1976, IECA has Barbara Probst, CSW, LMSW, developed a set of ethical guidelines that members must sub- is a clinical social worker spe- scribe to. According to the group’s website, the organization cializing in helping families “sponsors professional training institutes, workshops and con- whose “different” children ferences, publishes a directory of qualified consultants, offers have somehow become “dif- information to students and their families regarding school ficult” children – often be- selection issues, and works to ensure that those in the profes- cause their sensitivity, inten- sion adhere to the highest ethical and business standards.” sity, or giftedness is mistaken That’s important, because anyone can set himself up as for a “disorder.” In addition an educational consultant. There’s no licensing, professional to running parent support requirement, or enforceable standard – it’s strictly a business, groups and working with in- dependent on customer satisfaction. Although membership dividuals and families, she teaches at Fordham University’s in IECA is voluntary and the organization has no actual power Graduate School of Social Service; and she is the mother of over its members, a consultant’s choice to belong is an indica- two adolescents. In her “spare time” she is working on a book tion of a commitment to professional ethics. about a non-pathological framework for understanding and Educational consultants’ fees vary, depending on the helping children when the usual labels don’t fit. She may be extent of their services. The better ones will insist on meet- reached at [email protected]. 2e ing you and your child and doing an observation in the child’s present educational setting. (Distance, however, may limit con- tact to phone consultations and a review of written records.) As you interview consultants, be sure to ask lots of questions. Prepare your list of questions using the IECA’s Principles of Good Practice, plus additional questions, such as: • How long have you been practicing? • How many children have you placed? On the 2e Newsletter Website • How many of your clients have been 2e children? See the subscriber-only area of the 2e Newsletter website • What do you know about twice-exceptional issues? for: • What educational conferences have you attended in the • The rest of the article “The Least-Worst Educational past year? Option” • How recent is your school information? • How often do you return to visit a school? • Links to resources for choosing a private school • Are any former clients willing to serve as references? • Coverage of the NAGC 2005 conference in Louisville

All in All In conclusion, here are the steps to follow in finding a school that fits your child: Next Issue 1. Focus on your child’s specific traits, both strengths and • weaknesses. For each trait, what would be an ideal envi- Visual/spatial learners ronment? • More NAGC coverage 2. Know your priorities. Be flexible and open-minded about • A profile of another school for 2e students other features of the school. 3. Find people who can help. You may be too close to the • Our usual columns and features situation to be the best judge. 4. Let your child have the final word. Remember that the school must feel right to him or her.

www.2eNewsletter.com 19 2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 2e E v e n t s February 24, 2006, Beyond Giftedness XIII, Millennium Harvest House, Boulder, Colorado. Keynote by Maureen Neihart. For educators, parents, counselors. By Open Space Communications, LLC. Info at www.openspacecomm.com or 303.444.7020. February 26–March 1, 2006, LDA 43rd Annual International Conference, Jacksonville, Florida. For adults with learning disabilities and AD/HD, parents of children with LDs, teachers, and other professionals. By the Learning Disabilities Association of America, www.ldanatl.org or 412.341.1515. March 31–April 1, 2006, 20th Annual AEGUS Conference, “The Puzzling Paradox: Solving the Mysteries of the Gifted Underachiever,” College of New Rochelle, New York. Info at www.aegus.org. April 5–9, 2006, CEC Annual Convention & Expo, Salt Lake City, Utah. For educators, parents, and service providers. By the Council for Exceptional Children. Information at www.ced.sped.org or 888.232.7733. May 3–7, 2006, 12th Annual Adult AD/HD Conference, Orlando, Florida. For adults with AD/HD, their families, and the professionals who work with them. By the Attention Deficit Disorder Association. Info at www.add.org/conferences/2006_ conference/index.html. June through August, 2006, Summer Institute for the Gifted, at various college campuses across the US. For academically gifted and talented children. More info at www.giftedstudy.com or 866.303.4744 x5159. July 7–9, 2006, SENG Conference (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted), Irvine, California. More info at www. sengifted.org or 773.907.8092. For state association conferences relating to giftedness, see www.hoagiesgifted.org/conferences.htm on Hoagies’ website. For additional conferences on learning differences, see www.sped.cec.org/pd/meet.html on the website of the Council for Exceptional Children.

Twice-Exceptional Newsletter from Glen Ellyn Media PO Box 582 Glen Ellyn, IL 60138-0582

Feature: School Alternatives

First Class 2e Newsletter • January/February 2006 20 www.2eNewsletter.com