2622 W. Central - Suite 401B, Wichita, KS 67203 316-612-0700 August 2019 Good Grief of Kansas, Inc. Website: www.goodgriefofkansas.org Email: [email protected] The Joy of Laughter The character of life’s path tends to be Smiling and laughing emit chemicals Each and every day is a turning point cyclical. In order to integrate our called endorphins which work with the and challenge in our growth process. experiences along with the dualities of brain to cause a feeling of elation. It As we alter the reality levels of the joy and sorrow, pain and pleasure, also shows us the need to embrace smallest corner of our worldly tears and laughter, we need to every single moment of life, no matter existence, we can refocus and our contemplate the rich and healing what unpleasant circumstances come energies, behavior and attitude. properties that come from the effects our way. Isn’t it therefore good sense to Laughter and heartache do not of humor and pure unadulterated discern the common pitfalls of present a paradox. They are a laughter. That there are benefits in negativity, pick ourselves up, dust blueprint for endurance and survival. laughter as a therapeutic form of ourselves off, and become enriched The slightest bit of a smile is definitely healing is an understatement. The and sustained by laughter? A small the course to embark upon to reach a same brain receptors that assimilate giggle or a cataclysmic chortle will full blown all-out guffaw. So go impressions get recharged from a have the same effect. ahead…try a dose of humor. Strain hearty burst of joviality. This In the quest to cleanse, purify and yourself and engage in the contraction mechanism allows us to handle our redistribute our thoughts, we are trying of all fifteen of your facial muscles. problems in a more logical manner. It to move on and enjoy the passion of Laugh you heart out and chase away also puts a different perspective on our living. Candace Pert said in the Bill the pain. After all---isn’t that what it’s problems. Moyers television series, “Healing and all about? Humor is a universal language and a the Mind,” that “emotions registered contagious emotion. We don’t have to and stored in the body in the form of learn how to laugh. It happens chemical messages are the best “Time spent laughing is time spent with unconsciously. Laughter predates candidates for the key to the health the Gods” (Japanese proverb) evolution. Even newborn babies begin connection between mind and body.” to laugh at the age of ten weeks. More Furthermore, according to Pert, Bereavement Magazine July/August 2004 importantly, it is the one pleasure in complex molecules, called life that is free and there for the neuropeptides, are found throughout asking. It is the least threatening of any our body, brain and immune system. interventional therapy. These same peptides help all the cells in the body communicate with each Laughter serves as a coping device, other. If we instill humor and laughter reduces tension and pain, lowers blood in our lives, we can be assured that pressure, improves our mental outlook, these chemical messages are working enhances the immune system and acts for us rather than against us. as a form of cardiac exercise. Voltaire noted that “the art of It was Norman Cousins who first spoke medicine consists in keeping the about the value of laughter in his patient amused while nature heals the book, “Anatomy of an Illness” (1980). disease.” Dr. Bernie Siegel commented, After he developed a debilitating “If you laugh, you’re gonna feel good. spinal disease, je discovered that along And if you feel good, you’re gonna with traditional treatment, being look marvelous.” We can now finally exposed to humor over a period of admit that laughter is not solely about time made his illness less painful and humor. It is about releasing pain and eventually cured him. trying to heal ourselves. Page 2 www.goodgriefofkansas.org 316-612-0700 Good Grief News SCHEDULE OF GROUP MEETINGS FOR THE BEREAVED Be sure to check the website for any changes to meeting schedules. You are welcome to attend any support group of your choice. Mondays: 7:00 - 8:30 PM SOUTH WICHITA Grace Baptist Church – (1414 W Pawnee) It is normal to feel confused, Facilitators: Bob & Connie Westerfield forgetful, crazy, lost and alone, plus a wide range of other emotions. Mondays: 7:00 - 8:30 PM EAST WICHITA It may not feel like it just now, East Point Church of Christ - (747 N 127th Street E) but it does get better . . . let us Go to separate building north of playground help. Please commit to attend at Facilitators: Adrienne Massey, Melissa Warnken, Phyllis Nichols least three times. The first two times may be difficult but you will begin to feel a Tuesdays: 10:00 - 11:30 AM CENTRAL WICHITA difference in your grieving as you RiverWalk Church of Christ - (225 N Waco) Use South Office Entrance, Fireside Room are able to share about your loss Facilitators: Marjorie Watkins & Jack Elder and other issues that come along

at this time. You might want to visit several Tuesdays: 6:30 - 8:00 PM WEST WICHITA West Heights UMC - (745 N Westlink Avenue) Use North parking lot off Delano Street, groups until you find the one you Building Entrance A2 “CHAPEL”. Look for brown double doors just west of A1 Entrance. feel most comfortable with. Facilitators: Evelyn Reece, Marsha Huffman, Bonnie Workman

Tuesdays: 7:00 - 8:30 PM CLEARWATER Clearwater Church of Christ - (13900 N Diagonal Road) Use West Door You’re so hard on yourself. Facilitators: Kathy Thomas & Linda Burris

Take a moment. Wednesdays: 7:00 - 8:00 PM CENTRAL WICHITA Sit back. W.A.Y. Widowed and Young (Ages 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s) RiverWalk Church of Christ - (225 N Waco) Use SW entrance door, Fireside Room Facilitators: Deana King, Jenny Mitchell, David Span Marvel at your life:

At the grief that softened ———————————————————————————————————————— you, SURVIVORS OF SUICIDE LOSS At the heartache that

Mondays: 7:00 - 8:00 PM CENTRAL WICHITA wisened you, RiverWalk Church of Christ - (225 N Waco) Use NW entrance door. This door is usually At the suffering that locked, knock loudly - Room 106. Please call the Facilitator before attending, to ensure materials are available. This group is for those who have suffered the loss of a loved one strengthened you. through suicide. Facilitator: Jim Yoder 316-727-0663 Despite everything,

If you or someone you know is in need of help, be sure to contact the National Suicide You still grow. Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255. Be proud of this.

Thursdays: Breakfast at 9:00 AM Saturdays: Breakfast at 10:00 AM IHOP - 11855 E Kellogg Drive Spears Restaurant - 4823 West Maple (Hosts: Cindy Swan, John McBride) (Hostess: Janet Cook)

Thursdays: Lunch/Brunch at 10:00 AM Country breakfast Café - 2804 S Seneca Street (Hostess: Lois Pardee) Good Grief News www.goodgriefofkansas.org 316-612-0700 Page 3 AUGUST 2019 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1 2 3 Breakfast 9 am IHOP Brunch/Lunch 10 am Breakfast 10 am Country Café Spears Restaurant

TLC Meeting - 5PM

4 5 6 7 8 9 10 SOSL Wichita 7:00 pm Central Group 10 am Breakfast 9 am IHOP Breakfast 10 am West Group 6:30 pm W.A.Y. Group Brunch/Lunch 10 am Spears Restaurant South Group 7:00 pm Clearwater 7:00 pm 7:00 pm Country Café East Group 7:00 pm

11 12 13 14 15 16 17 SOSL Wichita 7:00 pm Central Group 10 am Breakfast 9 am IHOP W.A.Y. Group Breakfast 10 am West Group 6:30 pm Brunch/Lunch 10 am South Group 7:00 pm Clearwater 7:00 pm 7:00 pm Country Café Spears Restaurant

East Group 7:00 pm

18 19 20 21 22 23 24 SOSL Wichita 7:00 pm Central Group 10 am Breakfast 10 am W.A.Y. Group Breakfast 9 am IHOP West Group 6:30 pm Brunch/Lunch 10 am 7:00 pm Spears Restaurant South Group 7:00 pm Clearwater 7:00 pm Country Café

East Group 7:00 pm

25 26 27 28 29 30 31 SOSL Wichita 7:00 pm Central Group 10 am Breakfast 9 am IHOP West Group 6:30 pm W.A.Y. Group Brunch/Lunch 10 am Breakfast 10 am South Group 7:00 pm Clearwater 7:00 pm 7:00 pm Country Café Spears Restaurant

East Group 7:00 pm

“Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make a room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence, Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more . You’re doing just fine.” Page 4 www.goodgriefofkansas.org 316-612-0700 Good Grief News

Contributions for last month(s) totaled $710.00 July THANK YOU for your donation which makes it possible for Good Grief of Kansas to continue to serve the bereaved.

July Krista Arnold ...... 2 Contributors: Memorial Gifts Randy Rowe...... 2 Lois Siemers ...... 2 In Loving Memory Lois Pardee Anita Downey ...... 3

Jarree Miller Jessie Silver Dewayne H. McGuire ..... 4 Jeannie Webber ...... 5 By Fred Silver Ted McMurphy Patricia Vaughn ...... 11

W H Ford Elaine Carney...... 12 Margie Gwinn ...... 12 Dewayne McGuire Love Gifts At this time there are no dues Sylvia Akins ...... 16 Carolyn Hummon or fees to belong to Good Beverly Whitman ...... 18 Grief of Kansas. However, Merri Reed your gift is very important. We Cynthia Escamilla...... 20 depend on donations from Gayla Shrank ...... 21 Janet Cunningham individuals and organizations to meet our Janet S Cook...... 23 Phyllis Nichols program expenses and to Gary Appleman ...... 25 keep the Good Grief office Velena Hamilton ...... 29 Jay McNeil open. Please help make sure that others who need Good Cherri Alderson ...... 30 Carmen Suter Grief will hear the message Dianna Knoblauch...... 30 that we can and will help them Mike Gillihan through their grief. Gifts may Rexann Wood...... 31 be designated in honor or memory of a special individual Remember to send or occasion. We also your donation to: appreciate monetary gifts to help with the expense of 2622 W Central producing and mailing this Suite 401B newsletter. Wichita, KS 67203

Memorial tributes and gifts always welcome.

Note: For memorials with a special remembrance date, submit information one month early for timely publication. Good Grief News www.goodgriefofkansas.org 316-612-0700 Page 5

bereaved parents, and we know how to Grief, speak the forbidden words about an Unpaid Bill death; something the rest of the world avoids. I have become more familiar with “I can’t help it,” my friend says. death, now. I know what it is to grieve, “The thoughts just come.” to feel loss, to remember my dead child Time passes and I continue to learn with flesh and bones. In the beginning, the lessons that death and life teach. I was numb. Nature is kind; we can’t They are patient teachers, so if I don’t feel more pain than we can endure, but learn, they will teach me again. I have the pain waits. Like an unpaid bill, it learned that death is as much a part of remains until it is opened. We may bury life as the air that I breathe. our feelings, but they are buried alive, It will not stay away because I avoid and the time of payment always comes. speaking it ‘s name. The grief that I I find myself crying at unexpected feel, I must feel. I have loved; now I times. In my car on the way to work, I must grieve. see a young man riding a bicycle near It is the homage the heart pays. the side of the road. Suddenly, I remember that Ken bought one just a - By Anita Kirschner few years ago when he was already ill. Woodbury, New York “It makes me feel young again,” he told me. As we looked at each other then, we both understood the wish to go back to an easier time, when the future still seemed certain. My tears come, and I make another small payment on this outstanding bill of pain. Today is July eleventh, the birthday of my friend’s dead son. “Steven would have been forty today,” she tells me on the telephone. “Don’t add to your anguish” I warn, not being afraid to enter the fray. We are both part of this community of Page 6 Good Grief News www.goodgriefofkansas.org 316-612-0700

Do you get impatient with your grief? Wish it would go away. Wish you could have it over and done with. It’s so painful - enough already!! If only we could. As much as we wish it, it will have it’s way with us. It will tumble and spin us and spit us out. Then it will decide to gobble us whole again. There can be no getting away from it. There comes a time when realization dawns. That inner knowing that we must experience and feel our grief for all that it is. That we must go through it and let it sit with us until its ferocity is ready to leave us for a bit. And we even learn and grow in acceptance. The acceptance that it is a frequent visitor. It regurgitates through us and through our life. To see this new life for ourselves is finally to surrender to our grief and to our loss. To know its fury and its nuances. To begin to face forwards. And to begin to face life again. It’s not an easy life nor the life we ever envisioned. Oh how very different it is, this life of contrasts. This life that begins to bring us its nuggets of truth for us to digest as best we can. This life that we have now snakes its way through the harsh winters and the blazing summer suns. We will unfurl and will grow into it. We will begin to seed and plant our new and very different life. Each in our own way and in our own time. And one thing we will always know, that the seeds of love will be forever planted in the gardens of our heart. Good Grief News www.goodgriefofkansas.org 316-612-0700 Page 7

New office hours DILLONS COMMUNITY REWARDS

Monday 8:00 - 12:00 Dillons Plus Card Instructions

1:00 - 5:00 Step 1: Go online to www.dillons.com Tuesday 8:00 - 10:00 Step 2: (If you already have an online account please go to instruction below.) Wednesday 8:00 - 10:00 Click on Community/then Community Rewards. Click Thursday 8:00 - 10:00 on Create Account, enter email address and password, select preferred store, then click on create Closed Fri/Sat/Sun account at the bottom of the page. Step 3: Add Dillons Plus Shoppers Card - Enter the 12 digit number from the back of your Dillon’s Plus OFFICE SUPPLY NEEDS: Card or alternate phone number and your last name, then click on save. Envelopes: Step 4: This will bring up Account Summary page, # 6 Security scroll to bottom of page and at Community Rewards,

# 10 Standard Click Edit button. Step 5: You will be asked your organization number - (Dollar Tree envelops work just fine) enter AQ480 to see organization name, select, then

click on “enroll to complete your enrollment”. You Colored Paper: are done! Every time you use your Dillons card, your Pastel - Cream total $$’s will be credited to Good Grief of Kansas. Ask your friends & family to select us too! 8½ x 11, 24 lb Already have a Dillons Account? Step 1: Go online to www.dillons.com Step 2: Click on Community /then Community We would like to take this opportunity Rewards to give a big THANK YOU to Donna Step 3: Sign In - enter email and password, then Rhodes. Donna has been our Office enroll now. Step 4: You will be asked your organization number - Manager here at Good Grief for the enter AQ480 to see organization name, select, then past ten years. click on “enroll to complete your enrollment”. You We appreciate you & everything you are done! Every time you use your Dillon’s card, your did to make our lives easier. total $$’s will be credited to Good Grief of Kansas. Ask your friends & family to select us too! You will be missed ! If you have any problems, please call Enjoy your retirement!! the Good Grief office and leave a message.

I Want To Help Support Good Grief of Kansas Enclosed is a memorial gift in memory of (Name) ______

Enclosed is my tax-deductible gift in the amount of $ ______

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$20 ___ $25 ___ $50 ___ $75 ___ $100 $ ______I would like more information Send Memorial acknowledgment to: My phone # is ( ) ______Name ______My Name ______Address ______Address ______City, State, Zip ______City State, Zip ______NON-PROFIT Good Grief News ORG. Good Grief of Kansas, Inc. U.S. Postage 2622 W Central - Suite 401B PAID Wichita KS 67203 WICHITA, KS Permit No. 426

Good Grief of Kansas, Inc. RETURN SERVICE REQUESTED

www.goodgriefofkansas.org 316-612-0700 Good Grief News

Executive Board Program Outreach: Good Grief of Kansas Rick Cline, President is a TAX EXEMPT Kelly Blades, Secretary non-profit 501(c)(3) organization Mary Evans, Treasurer  Widowed Support Group funded by: Board Members  Survivors of Suicide Loss Marilyn Nichols Ted Swan Support Group  Memorials, Gifts & Donations Merri Reed Jim Yoder  Other Adult Family Loss Program Director Support (parent/child) Good Grief of Kansas, Inc. does not discriminate Janet Cook  Social Support on the basis of race, religion, color, national Founder  Seminars/Workshops origin, sexual orientation, sex, age or disability. If Phyllis L. Gadaire-Sauer you feel that you have been discriminated  Community Presentations against, you have the right to file a complaint Office Manager  Counseling Referrals with Good Grief of Kansas, Inc. by mail or to: Marsha Huffman [email protected]. Trainers, Facilitators & Substitutes Linda Burris Fang Richards Janet Cook Cathy Sexton Thomas Downer Debbie Selsor To be REMOVED from Marge Glazier Jack Elder Cindy Swan this mailing Kathy Harbert Kathy Thomas Rhonda Hinkle Marjorie Watkins Marsha Huffman Melissa Warnken call 316-612-0700 or Frank Jarmer Bob Westerfield email your name and address as Adrienne Massey Connie Westerfield it appears on your mailing label Lois Pardee Bonnie Workman Mary Piotrowski Jim Yoder to [email protected] Evelyn Reece and put “remove from mailing” in the subject line. Mission Statement: Newsletters may be viewed Century 21 Grigsby Good Grief of Kansas provides grief on-line by going to Cell 316-648-7415 support for persons who have lost a Office 316-978-9200 www.goodgriefofkansas.org. loved one through death. Marge Glazier, Broker Associate