ISSUE 1667 ... the penultimate issue FRIDAY 9 JUNE 2017

THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON

v elix Imperial f academics talk Trump and climate change PAGE 3 News

It’s not rational to be scared of terror

PAGE 7 Comment

Archer, the show that keeps on giving

PAGE 16 Culture

The great age of 3DS

PAGE 18 Millennials

How to break up with someone (you met in Metric)

PAGE 22 Millennials 2 felixonline.co.uk [email protected] Friday 9 June 2017 felix EDITORIAL What a week

hat a week. Since last Friday, weekend when everyone was shit-faced, but we’ve shit has hit the fan. Much like an also had to deal with the General Election, less than evil mastermind in a superhero a week after the London Bridge and Borough Market movie, Donald Trump has incidents. (Also this is London and we don’t’ have time announced to the world his evil to care for other people. ) plan to fuck over the planet: Meanwhile we have Theresa May going around Wquitting the Paris Agreement. The only differences are making dirty confessionals, like that time she ran that he’s as thick (but slightly more orange) as mustard, through a field of wheat. I mean, how can someone and that the rest of the world has gone fuck you back that dirty be trusted with the leadership of a country? and is now probably conspiring to send him to deep And that’s coming from me! space, leaving behind only the faintest Cheeto-dust The thing that really pisses me off about the General trail as proof that he ever existed. Speaking of proof, Elections is that we need to get this paper to the printers Comey has started testifying which is bound to be the by 11pm so there’s no way in hell we can provide any best thing to hit the screens since OJ Simpson’s trial. The insightful commentary (as per usual). Unless we wing real question now is whether Trump gets impeached it. Which we did consider. A couple times. I’ve just had and flees the US first, or whether California beats him the term ‘hung parliament’ stuck in my head all week. to it and goes rogue joining China. Like how hung? Frankfurter hung? Beer can hung? Then on Saturday there were two terror attacks in Baseball bat hung? London which left seven people dead, 48 people Back to my editorial though: Don’t be too injured and thousands declaring themselves safe on disappointed we’re not covering the Election results. facebook. Just take this opportunity to read about all the other But no one probably remembers the attacks anymore depressing shit that’s happening in the world right now anyway, because not only did they happen over the and unwind with one of out thickest editions in weeks.

Editor-in-Chief | Lef Apostolakis || Deputy Editor | Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi || News Editor | Matt Johnston, Joanna Wormald || Comment THE Editors | Vivien Hadlow, Tessa Davey, Jonathan Masters || Culture Ringmaster | Fred Fyles || Culture Editors | Indira Mallik, Meryl Anil, Anurag Deshpande, Theo Farah, Simran Kukran || Puzzles Editor | Hamish Beck || Clubs & Societies Editor | Abigail de Bruin || Science TEAM Editors | Lizzie Riach, Ipsita Herlekar || Millennials Queen | Tessa Davey || Millennials Editors | Saad Ahmed, Sanjay Battacharaya, Matt Johnston || Sports Editor | Sam Smith || Illustrator | Nathan Macabuag || Copy Chief | Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi || Copy Editors | Alex Adler || Centrefold | Joe O’Connell-Danes || Front Page | Lef Apostolakis (Original image via NASA)

Address | felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB || Telephone | 02075948072 || Printed by | Mortons Media Group Ltd Media Centre, Morton Way, Horncastle, Lincolnshire, LN9 6JR || Registered Newspaper | ISSN 1040-0711 || Copyright © felix 2016 Friday 9 June 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/news 3 NEWS felix Imperial academics on Trump and climate

The Grantham Institute spills the beans Lef Apostolakis

ast week Trump Institute. goals and moving action is distressing.” Whether that’s because he’s declared to the world The Grantham Institute does forward every five years). The Gilbert’s role bridges the a climate skeptic remains that he’d be pulling multidisciplinary research, success of the Paris agreement work and knowledge of to be seen but the bit of the the US out of the Paris engaging with staff and lies in the declaration of academic researchers and story that’s telling us what the Agreement. Within students across College global intent to do something the action stakeholders who science says about the world hours, Elon Musk had interested in climate change. about climate change and the make decisions that impact around us seems to have had Lresigned from the President’s Jo Haigh is one of the institute’s exit of a major player like the the environment, such as quite a significant message Board of Advisors, American Co-Directors and has notably USA jeopardises the spirit of NGOs and governmental delivery over time.” states such as California went contributed to (and lead unity. bodies. Gilbert essentially Indeed, not only has rogue and protested the authored) several reports of “The USA is estimated to be ensures that the science is scientific evidence for global move, vouching to uphold the Intergovernmental Panel contributing nearly 20% of effectively communicated climate change been piling their commitment anyway, on Climate Change, and was the world’s CO2 emissions. to the public and translated up over the last decades, and world leaders expressed more than happy to discuss into policy. Which begs the some effects are frankly their disappointment and their recent developments. The Paris question: What motivated impossible to ignore, such determination to do their bit Accord was a triumph that not \\ The issue is that Trump’s decision? Was it a as the very measurable one for the planet. only surprised everyone at communication failure? degree increase in average Surprisingly, Trump’s war the time but keeps pleasantly you need everyone Gilbert doesn’t think so. global temperatures since the on sustainability seems to surprising scientists across the to agree that we “In no time in his speech beginning of the conversation. have united almost everyone globe. about leaving the Paris Gilbert thinks climate- else against him. The acting “You can’t imagine how need to make an Agreement did Donald skepticism is not really the head of the US embassy in fantastic it was, because effort. That’s why Trump say anything skeptical issue anymore, instead the Beijing resigned over his previous to that we had the about climate change. real challenge is in convincing country’s withdrawal from Copenhagen meeting which we have these people that the Paris climate change was such a disappointment,” big international urgent accord. France, Germany says Haigh. “We were all action and Italy penned a joint letter hoping there’d be a climate agreements. We all i s condemning Trump’s decision agreement and it got need to play our (Theresa May reportedly absolutely nowhere. This declined to co-sign the time round we were thinking part, which is why statement). By Monday over if they can just agree on the US detaching is 1,000 mayors, governors anything it will be so good. and companies in the US And not only did they have distressing \\ had expressed defiance to a unanimous agreement but Washington. they agreed to try and limit And yes, even North Korea global temperature increase called out the decision, to less than two degrees Pulling out is no minor branding it “short-sighted and above pre-industrial [levels] or event. The thought that the silly ”. preferably 1.5 degrees. This US wouldn’t do anything to Climate change is rightfully was signed up and agreed mitigate climate change is the hottest topic of discussion and then less than a year later bad in itself but it could also at the moment, so we talked it got ratified. I think this is the be bad in the sense that other fastest any treaty has been countries might think likewise ratified through the United – if they’re not doing it, why \\ Surprisingly, Nations.” would we bother – and the Trump’s war on The Paris Agreement whole thing could unravel.” is based on voluntary Alyssa Gilbert, Head of sustainability seems contributions to reducing Policy and Translation at the to have united CO2 emissions. It has been Grantham Institute, agrees. “A criticised for not providing a lot needs to be done locally. almost everyone legal framework for keeping The issue is that you need else against him \\ the international community everyone to agree that we in check. Realistically, even need to make an effort. That’s if signatories fulfilled their why we have these to some of Imperial’s leading pledges, we would be big international scientists to see what they’re nowhere near hitting the two agreements. We all making of this turn of events. degree target. But that’s not need to play our And what better place to the point. (Besides, there are part, which is why find them than the Grantham mechanisms for reassessing the US detaching Fuck this guy // Gage Skidmore 4 felixonline.co.uk/news [email protected] Friday 9 June 2017 Friday 9 June 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/news 5

elix NEWS NEWS elix \\ fBut even with sustainability ideology works to electricity generation government could face legal one that are being harmed f other countries is unclear. It might as well increased by 81% in the consequences as a result of most by the actions of the be a communication failure. last financial year. its inaction. “Legally polluters.” Already a group of Union awards ceremony honours volunteers picking up the slack, “It might be not being able Meanwhile China the American American teens and preteens to communicate with people is considered a government are suing President Obama to mitigate climate outside our usual audiences leader in solar is required and various federal agencies change we will need but also not being able to expansion. to reduce for failing to protect the Earth’s make messages meet the But even CO2, and natural resources for future RCSU President boycotts event Lef Apostolakis to eventually zero value sets of different groups with other somebody generations. Imagine the case carbon emission of people.” countries in the US they’d launch against Trump. For now, Trump’s picking up c o u l d “I feel that Donald Trump and to achieve that inflammatory remarks are the slack, take the has declared war on us we will need global just that, and are unlikely to mitigate government and our planet,” says Sir onday saw of Imperial, a facebook page Blythe. Founders Tristan Dell were concerned that “this Council Chair Abigail de to have immediate effects. climate to court Brian Hoskins, Chair of the the Union that highlights confessionals and Debesh Mandal, who had unfairly biased the awards Bruin also disagreed. “I’m cooperation \\ Already many other countries change we because Grantham Institute. “I hope thank its and tries to erase the stigma earlier this year been invited process towards those ‘known honestly disappointed that have been turning green at will need to they’re not that the very positive actions volunteers surrounding mental health. to speak at the Union’s social to’ / friends of members of someone would take expired surprising paces. India and eventually zero Home //NASA doing their legally in many US States, cities and at the Community connections entrepreneurship scheme, the committee, and it went policy and use it to try and needed. “Trump’s decision to China are making huge leaps carbon emission and bound duty. There’s companies and the support annual volunteer of the year was ACT Now , thanked the Union against the spirit of an open, deny recognition for student withdraw is really purely a in sustainable development. to achieve that we will need also a possibility that poorer from the majority of its people MUnion Awards. awarded to Antonia Evans for for the help they provided over level playing field provided volunteers. After all, that’s political one. It’s where most According to data from the global cooperation. countries in the world could will matter more.” During the event, which is her outreach, bringing coding the last two years and stressed by an awards system with a primarily what the Union Republicans align themselves Central Electricity Authority, In the future, Haigh entertains sue the US for loss and meant to showcase the best to school, and her involvement the importance of support. nominations process equally Awards are – a chance to with,” she says. How this anti- India’s solar contribution a scenario where the American damage, because they’re the of Imperial College Union with Amnesty International’s “If you know anyone who accessible by all students” say thank you and formally and its membership, 69 Write for Rights campaign. does any enterprise social or Tessa Davey, who’s been at recognise the work of the (wink) students were awarded Project of the year was otherwise I ask you to support Imperial for almost a decade most outstanding student colours, a further 19 were awarded to Paediatrics Play them, because any little bit of and was also honoured volunteers. Personally I think awarded outstanding service team, which supports children what would have been much and a final five students were at Saint Mary’s Hospital. worse for the committee given fellowship. The awards Contribution to College was would be to have not awarded Consent Matters pilot launched are nominated, decided and awarded to Islamic Society for someone that they had noticed awarded by students. their Shake Break initiative, was missed.“ “From campaigning to which offered students a time Union President, Nas innovation, sporting success and place to chill, socialise and Andriopoulos, acknowledged to academic representation, enjoy some free milkshakes. that finding Union policies Lef Apostolakis Consent training could become mandatory from October onwards community volunteering to live Mechanical Engineering and isn’t the easiest thing, but he events, there is an unmatched The Centre for Environmental maintained that all procedures depth and breadth of activities Policy were recognised for were done in accordance at Imperial College Union” their undergraduate and with policy. “If Lloyd has said Union Managing director postgraduate representation concerns with the way these wo terms since told felix that “putting it on As part of the pilot, 300 welcomed by a compulsory £5,000 College expenditure, Jarlath O‘Hara. respectively, and Abhijay few [the awards tabled in the consent training blackboard means acquiring students representing a training course before they and subsequently in a O’Hara, who came to Sood was awarded network meeting] were handled, he became a subject of more anonymised data cross-section of the Imperial take up their academic comment piece published in Imperial from LSE last year, rep of the year. The newly must also have a problem with contention amongst without students having to community were selected responsibilities. “Ideally we’ll felix he said that “this purchase said he was excited to see the established City Varsity was how all Union Awards were Imperial students, manually fill in a lot of the and invited to trial the be able to launch it as part of will contribute nothing to breadth of activities Imperial crowned event of the year. deliberated on. the Consent information themselves.” training course. Though the startup session in October,” the student experience on students were involved in. Quality coverage from your fave paper // felix “If he has a problem with TMatters pilot has finally been Unfortunately a series of progress seems promising and says Cramphorn. “We’ll have campus,” and referred to “A world leading student the committee’s judgement, launched. unexpected difficulties with the Cramphorn herself has found a big media campaign around the funds that went into the experience is about more than \\ I don’t believe the Council Chair’s, or my Consent Matters is an integration of the course into the training very informative, it and potentially make it licensing of Consent Matters just academic achievement, support that you give them will with an outstanding service own actions I encourage him interactive course aiming blackboard and the staffing of she is cautious. compulsory. I know other as “£5,000 completely and it’s about a broader balance they were conducted help them on their way,” said award (again), and sat on the to pursue a formal complaint at educating students on the project has meant that the “I don’t know how people people in the discussions are utterly wasted”. The RCSU education in which students in a fair and open Mandal. awards committee, disagreed. through this channel. areas of sexual consent, effort was abandoned and the will take it. I do think some General Committee also voted have the opportunities to manner and I Notably absent were several “The awards were conducted Finally, if I were a student of communication and people will ignore it and \\ I don’t know how unanimously to condemn enjoy their free time, develop RCSU committee members who in the same way as it’s my Natural Sciences I would be relationships, and bystander others will be resistant to it. the expenditure, which they skills, preserve their well being believe Council received outstanding service understanding they’re done frustrated to hear that my \\ Staffing issues people will take intervention. The creators of Earlier in the year there was described as “a wasteful and understand their learning was unfairly denied awards. RCSU president Lloyd every year. No students were RCSU President has voted the course , epigeum, claim it have meant that a lot of resistance and a lot it, I do think some and ineffective method of in the wider context of society. James told felix he boycotted missed out because the out- against awarding deserving “shows students how to seek of debate and if you look at informing students on the “Universities, employers the opportunity the event. “I don’t believe they of-date student union policy members of our community, the effort was people will ignore consent, how to recognise it other universities there has important issue of consent.” and graduates all recognise to scrutinise the were conducted in a fair and wasn’t followed. It simply or attending the celebration and how to identify situations abandoned and the been a lot of backlash against it and others will be Either way, it’s exciting to see that students with leadership open manner and I believe means that more students were of their achievements, without where it can’t be given.” consent training.” College tackling consent and experience gained through Awards process \\ Council was unfairly denied able to be recognised for their consulting his members first.” Bringing Consent Matters students will have Many universities have made resistant to it \\ sexual violence, according to extra-curricular activities, the opportunity to scrutinise hard work and dedication to James told felix he does to Imperial was an initiative to use the epigeum consent training mandatory Cramphorn. “It does go hand are more desirable and the Awards process.” James the Union. “ not intend to pursue this issue spearheaded by ICU and (last October freshers in hand with the work we’re more valuable than students clarified that this was not an It should be noted that these further this year, but he does supported and financed by platform at least for at Oxford had to attend against this so we might have doing with the catalyst fund who solely focused on their Last but not least, Iris Drone RCSU boycott and that other awards are purely symbolic intend to propose a revised College. Though discussions the duration of the compulsory sexual consent to discuss it further.” which is moving more quickly. academic work and didn’t’ technologies were awarded members were tied up in other (with the exception of Union Awards Policy next around the training course workshops), yet students who Cramphorn is referring to We’re already training people take a chance to develop for their innovation and obligations. fellowship which comes with year that will prevent this from have been going on for pilot \\ protest the training remain, several student voices who to be sexual violence liaison themselves as fully rounded enterprise. “Imperial is a Union policy was updated honorary life membership to happening again. two terms, the pilot is only usually characterising such protested the expenditure officers and Consent Matters people.” catalyst for taking students’ earlier this year to allow the Union and is generally now being launched due to measures as patronising. last November. During one will only help to strengthen Students were also amazing ideas, and helping to nomination from the floor given out rarely). They aren’t difficulties with integrating it students will have to use the The pilot should yield of the first council meetings that project and make it an all recognised across nine support and nurture these life during Awards committee even accompanied by a into blackboard. epigeum platform at least for feedback by August, meaning of the year Lloyd James, encompassing project.” categories. Campaign of the and sometimes world changing session. James told us he Nando’s voucher or curly- DPW Emily-Jane Cramphorn the duration of the pilot. freshers in October might be RCSU president, criticised the year was awarded to Medics projects,” said DPFS Rachel and other Council members fries.

For more comment visit felixonline.co.uk/comment

Friday 9 June 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/comment 7 FREEZE PEACH COMMENT felix It's not rational An ode to to be scared of Shepherd's terrorism Bush

An anonymous writer thinks you Tessa Davey really, really loves should stop making this all about Shepherd's Bush, and she wants you you to know why

very time there’s a terrorist attack, makes these attacks all about 've lived in various places takeaway and a Nepalese restaurant, that the more skittish of my friends you. all over London over never fail to make me hungry as I pass. set about panicking. Marking We should talk about these the last eight years, but In the evenings, the streets fill with themselves safe on Facebook, attacks. We should honour the I always come back to people talking, walking, and sitting in the making dramatic social media victims – their suffering is real Shepherd’s Bush. It's not the cafés and restaurants. Where other parts posts, and generally creating the and tragic and should not be geographical convenience of London become dark and deserted at Ehysteria and alarm that follows a terrorist in vain – but we should not Ior the relative cheapness that night, the pavements of Uxbridge Road attack. pretend that they are anything keeps me there, it’s the fact line with tables and people, light pouring If a chemical weapon had been used, or other than what they really that Shepherd’s Bush feels like out from every window. It’s lively and if the numbers affected were large, then a are: a drop in the ocean of home. vibrant around the clock, a mix of people response of this kind would be more logical. people who die before their I feel at home on the Green, from different countries, histories and But your friends and family are far more time, an outlying occurrence, with its gently undulating classes. likely to be killed on their commute than a freak incident. We can’t com- mounds. It’s where I had my When there was a stabbing on my in an attack, and you don’t wish everyone pletely prevent attacks, but in first kiss with a boyfriend, street in 2009, the neighbours started good luck on their travels every morning. a city where the situation was and where I've spent balmy a neighbourhood watch to make sure it It’s not rational to be paralysed by fear. resolved within eight minutes, summer evenings lying on the didn't happen again. During the 2011 You probably don’t know one of the very we don’t need to lose our grass, drinking wine from the riots, people knocked on the door to make few people who died: there are millions of minds. bottle and smoking until my sure that we were safe at home, offering to Perhaps I lack empathy, but lungs burned, musing with drive and pick up anyone who was afraid I just don’t get it. Did you pre- friends over ill-advised text to travel. When I was knocked off my bike \\ Social media starts buzzing viously lack the understanding messages to crushes. by a careless minicab driver one evening that there was a very real I love Shepherd’s Bush last year, a dozen people rushed over with hysteria, macabre threat? London is safer than Market, that resists to pull me to my feet and offer me seats fascination, and – face it – just about any other large met- gentrification by having real and glasses of water. I've been to street ropolitan area. The threat is community spirit. Hipster cafés parties where residents, whose families excitement \\ real, but it is minuscule. You’re bought houses when they were dirt cheap entitled to be afraid; it’s good after the war, ate sandwiches with young to empathise with the victims immigrant families, students, and trendy people in London. If you are affected, you and the families of the people young professionals. Shepherd’s Bush have my earnest sympathies, but for the who have died and suffered is somewhere that is truly a home to its vast majority of people who won’t person- life-changing injuries. But residents, more than a temporary place ally know anyone who has been impacted don’t act like we’re in any more that people pass through as they grind by this recent spate of attacks, save your danger now, don’t talk about their way through life. energy. how it could have been you There is something for everyone in Social media starts buzzing with hysteria, because you passed through Shepherd’s Bush, where it’s crowded and macabre fascination, and – face it – excite- London Bridge on the tube cosmopolitan, and where everyone jostles ment. Among the posts about prayers for three days earlier. for space without trying to push anyone London and Facebook safety checks, mes- You are as safe as you always are springing up but they're else out. I love Shepherd’s Bush because sages appear offering rooms to those who were, so stop acting like this embedded in the community, it doesn't feel like the rest of England, but are stranded away from home. These posts changes anything. with local area at the heart of it undeniably feels like the London I want – to friends – are entirely self-indulgent. everything they do. You can to live in. Anyone in need of help will let you know, just as likely get Mr. Falafel keeping their plight as private as they (reputed to be the best in would like it to be. #RoomForLondon can London) as goat curry (both help people who may not know anyone in excellent choices) or you can the city, but posting on Facebook – reach- visit the Polish sweet shop, ing a small network of your friends – serves the Australian store or the only to draw admiration. Demanding reas- Lebanese bakery that all sit surance and declaring your benevolence nestled next to a Caribbean For more comment visit felixonline.co.uk/comment

8 felixonline.co. uk /comment [email protected] Friday 9 June 2017 Friday 9 June 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/comment 9

BLAH!!! blah

BLAH...blah? Blah. Blah.Blah.Blah blah..! blah? blah blah blah blah BLAH? COMMENT blah

Blah!? FREEZE PEACH BLAH! ...blah Blah.blah blahblah- COMMENT felix ...BLAH! blah! felix Charles Titmuss thinks that in order Sara Hamilton thinks the withdrawal of to combat terrorism, we must first the US from the Paris Agreement is not Defeating ISIS understand its root causes Trump can't ruin ideal, but the rest of the world can still is impossible. the environment try to make a difference \\ Deportations and snap- imprisonment of those willing \\ The US stands alongside Dealing with to commit terrorist acts may by himself (even only two other countries not be the best course of worldwide in not supporting them is not action \\ if he is trying) the deal \\

he UK has been internet, as well as proximity and militant groups that to radicalise more people, here’s a lot one can greenhouse gas emissions believes the deal does not do as Elon Musk and leaders of different terms that are “fairer subjected to a to other people sharing preach hatred of the West. as well as reducing the time say against Donald as soon as possible. Trump enough for climate change. companies such as Google, to the US”, but it remains number of terrorist the same views, can serve These personas are easy to taken to commit attacks. Trump, but thus far referred to the deal as Apple and hundreds of others unclear what these are. In the acts. At this point in to entrench these feelings. access on the internet and \\ A wedge must The controversial Prevent he has stuck to his ‘draconian’, which hardly including major fossil fuel meantime, the EU and China time it is appropriate These feelings then need to often preach around the UK programme must be fully word (or tried to a seems fair for an agreement producers such as Exxon are expected to move forward to mourn and honour be inserted into a context to in order to recruit vulnerable be driven between funded, and better integrated least). After doing that is, by definition, non- Mobil have urged Trump to as leaders in clean energy Tthe dead and remember that provide direction and purpose people to their cause. those who preach into communities. This best to rid the US of ‘bad binding and in which each stay in the Paris agreement, and the fight against climate nothing can justify these acts. for their hatred. Islamism is Militant groups especially, Funding for the security hombres’, last Thursday country plans its own with Musk even quitting change. On a lighter note, it is At the same time, it is important rooted in Wahhabism or Jihadi but also some preachers, extremism and services should be increased, he proceeded to attack contribution to the combined Trump’s advisory board likely that the energy future of to look at this topic with nuance Salafism, which preaches, rely heavily on funding from intolerance and the but their powers for another of his enemies – the attempt to mitigate global altogether the US will not be as coal-filled if we as a nation wish to solve amongst other things, that the states in the Middle East. A surveillance should not. I am of environment – by announcing warming. as one could imagine, due to this problem. Two questions West is fundamentally evil and recent report commissioned rest of society \\ the opinion that they possess the withdrawal of the US What will the withdrawal the falling prices of renewable need to be answered: what must be destroyed in order to by the Home Office looking the appropriate tools, but from the Paris agreement. mean? energy technologies and the are the driving factors behind replace it with a version more into Saudi funding of not the means. An emphasis The withdrawal process is There is no doubt that rising prowess of shale gas. these attacks, and what can in accordance with their ideas terrorist organisations was on the role of the internet in expected to take four years, \\ 61 US mayors What has the response been Trump’s withdrawal will make The Environmental Agency’s be done to reduce the impact of absolute good. Proximate controversially buried as made by all political parties. radicalising individuals should but has already invoked a so far? it more difficult for the world policies are, for the moment, that terrorism can have on our examples such as the Iraq it contained potentially Personally I believe that a be avoided. While it is a large outcry from scientists have said they will Trump’s decision has proven to reach the goals that it set still largely intact (sigh of daily lives? The emphasis in war or bombing in Syria are diplomatically damaging range of approaches are critical battleground, social everywhere. Read below for work independently to be largely unpopular. out to achieve in the Paris relief), so it looks like US this article will be on Islamist often used in order to further information about Saudi necessary in order to lessen media companies do not host a full analysis for some of the According to the Yale Agreement, given that the US citizens will at least be able terrorism. justify the use of violence in activities. Qatar recently had the possible impact Islamic that much extremist content, as questions and answers of what to adopt the Paris program on climate change is the second-largest emitter to enjoy clean air until Trump accomplishing their goals. diplomatic relations severed extremism can have on the the deal is, why Trump pulled accord \\ communication, 69% of all of greenhouse gases, and has decides that that’s a hoax too. Therefore, looking to the with several different Middle UK. out and the repercussions this Americans were in favour also been a leader in financing All in all, this withdrawal future, these attacks are likely Eastern states over its role in Firstly, efforts need to be has. of remaining in the deal. and providing technological seems like just another to continue, for a range of funding this form of terrorism. made to restrict Wahhabi and Barack Obama, under whose expertise in carbon-reducing indication of the scary way in reasons. Anger at certain The preaching of Wahhabi Salafist Jihadi movements and Why is Trump pulling out? administration the US spent measures. which major world powers are elements of UK foreign policy and Salafist Jihadi movements the funding that they receive. Trump claims to have pulled years negotiating the Paris looking inwards, rather than is unlikely to dissipate. It has is also unlikely to go away any The repressed report should out of Paris “In order to fulfil Agreement, has criticised this outwards, home rather than been cast, incorrectly, as a war time soon. be published and acted [his] solemn duty to protect move as an abdication of US abroad, and looking to make on Islam by Islamist preachers The economic and social upon to disrupt the powerful America and its citizens”. leadership on the global scale. \\ The Environmental their own countries prosper and with the current instability factors that begin the path individuals that wish to spread He has repeatedly dismissed 61 US mayors have said that rather than considering in the Middle East, some form to radicalisation will also violence around the world. climate change as a hoax, they will work independently Agency's policies international goals. It is now of UK military commitment to prove difficult to remedy. In a Secondly, more community concocted by scientists and the to adopt the Paris accord are still largely time for the rest of the world In order for terrorism to be the region is likely for a long world of rising inequality, it is policing and engagement most has moved to places such Chinese (the blame has shifted and sent a letter to Trump to rise up to the climate enacted it is first necessary period of time. possible that these problems is required. This is vital as it as Telegram. A recent report between the two at different saying “If the president wants intact, so it looks challenge, with or without the to radicalise individuals. Secondly, there is the will only increase, and lead would help provide a counter by the BBC into IS militants points in time) to undercut US to break the promises made like US citizens will US. The Earth clock is ticking Radicalisation can take place presence of radical Sheikhs to a greater amount of anger narrative to that provided by found that a significant What is the Paris Climate manufacturing and his much- to our allies… we’ll build and the effects of carbon for a whole range of reasons. from those communities that extremist preachers, and help proportion were radicalised Deal ? loved oil and gas industries. and strengthen relationships at least be able to emissions don’t care much for The first requirement is often a do not feel the economic protect vulnerable individuals. by local preachers. The Paris Agreement is He did, at the same time, try to around the world to protect enjoy clean air until negotiation. sense of social and economic benefit and remain excluded A significant amount of I believe that these efforts an agreement within the reassure us in his speech that the climate from devastating Trump decides that's isolation and exclusion. This \\ In a world of from society. It is worth noting radicalisation occurs within would reduce the risk to the United Nations Framework he “still cares deeply about climate risks”. The Pittsburgh can take the form of relative that these feelings of anger the community, and a wedge public. We must not descend Convention on Climate climate change”. There’s some mayor is a personal favourite. a hoax too \\ poverty, or suffering from rising inequality, it is only make people vulnerable must be driven between those into hysteria, we must remain Change, signed in 2015 by Trump logic for you. As a result After Trump stated that he had racism and discrimination. possible that these to extremism, and in no way who preach extremism and calm and remember that this 195 countries, which sets the US, the world’s second- been “elected to represent This leads to resentment and justify extremist actions. intolerance and the rest of evil ideology will not defeat a global goal of keeping largest emitter of greenhouse the citizens of Pittsburgh, not anger directed towards the problems will only Having ascertained that this society. Deportations and us. average global temperatures gases, stands alongside only Paris” the mayor replied with Trump has said he is willing society in which they are increase \\ problem is not going away, snap-imprisonment of those from rising 2°C, compared two other countries worldwide the statement “we stand with to “begin negotiations” for living, and is a critical primer what can be done to lessen willing to commit terrorist acts to pre-industrial levels, by the in not supporting the deal the world and will follow the the US to rejoin the Paris to radicalisation. Interactions the impact or even remedy may not be the best course end of the century. Its aim is – Syria, immersed in a civil agreement”. Furthermore, Agreement, or a different with extremist content on the it? Suggestions have been of action as this could serve for countries to reduce their war, and Nicaragua, which global business leaders such climate agreement, on 10 felixonline.co.uk/science [email protected] Friday 9 June 2017 Friday 9 June 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/science 11 felix SCIENCE SCIENCE felix Diesel pollution poses serious risk for Ice, Ice ‘Bionic Skin’ could give robots the sense of asthma sufferers Baby touch

act: Hot water Sophie Protheroe discusses how robots are becoming increasingly humanoid, and how refining Rachel Baxter explores new research conducted by Imperial researchers freezes faster than cold water. 3D printing is creating endless opportunities for new innovative technology that identifies exactly how thediesel pollution that hangs in our air may Once upon a time, Erasto Mpemba was be affecting our health making ice cream in of devices directly on your Fhis cookery class. The sign of s we are \\ Shuang-Zhuang Guo & Michael McAlpine body to achieve super-human a good scientist? He noticed entering an University of Minnesota capabilities, it’s not really so orty million British that the mix froze faster if it was age where science fiction anymore,” he people are living hot, rather than just eating it. robots are says. in cities and towns First observed in the becoming Kevin Warwick, former with illegally high 1960s, this experiment has more human, Professor of Cybernetics at air pollution levels. been repeated many times Aso are humans becoming the University of Reading, This alarming since but, despite gallons of increasingly attached to supports the idea of enhanc- Fstatistic is in part due to diesel warm ice cream, a satisfy- technology. Scientists have ing human capabilities using exhaust, which according to ing explanation remained created a 3D printed ‘bionic technology. Warwick became new research can directly elusive. As such, this phe- skin’ which could give robots the world’s first cyborg when, affect our lungs and make nomenon has remained the sense of touch. This is a in 1998, he implanted a respiratory conditions worse. a mystery – until now. major step towards printing microchip under the skin of his An international team of sci- Time to get molecular: electronics onto human skin. forearm which enabled him

entists led by Imperial College Water is H2O – one oxygen Cyborgs, part human part to remotely control devices London’s National Heart and and two hydrogen atoms held machine, are no longer in the room. Since then, he Lung Institute recently found \\ David Holt together by covalent bonds. confined to science fiction. has been disappointed that that diesel fumes directly The different water molecules Researchers at the Uni- other scientists have been stimulate nerves in our lungs are attracted to each other by versity of Minnesota have reluctant to experiment with leading to reflex actions like hydrogen bonding. Now, Mr developed a revolutionary wheezing and coughing. like PAHs behave in the cough and have to use my me not only for my health but Xi Zhang has recently pro- process for making stretcha- This is bad news for sufferers human body is of growing inhaler more often.” UK air for everyone else’s – it might posed that when the water ble electronic sensory devices of respiratory disorders like concern to scientists. “With quality is currently very poor; cause increases in things like molecules are pulled together using a unique, custom-built \\ In the future, you asthma as inhaling diesel things like asbestos we found in fact pollution levels in cities lung cancer.” by hydrogen bonding, their 3D printer. “A 3D printer is could take the aver- exhaust could make these out too late what the effect like London and Birmingham “It concerns me,” adds covalent bonds stretch, which typically used to print hard conditions more extreme. was,” says Dean, “we need are technically illegal accord- Dean, “because my research, stores energy. So, when the plastic objects – we want age person and give The new study is the first to do studies to carry out risk ing to standards set out by the as well as the body of litera- water is heated, and the water to go beyond hard plastics them an enhanced to demonstrate exactly how assessment for the potential EU. The government recently ture out there, has shown that molecules move further apart, to the realm of functional \\ Kevin Warwick, the “living cyborg” with his wife particles from diesel exhaust effects of chronic exposure to increases in particulate matter those same covalent bonds materials and devices, such sense of touch\\ affect the lungs by triggering other nanoparticles.” like diesel exhaust leads to an can relax, which releases as electronic and biolog- nerve cells. When diesel is The new finding emphasises \\ My research, as increase in mortality risk. The energy. And releasing energy ical materials,” explains burnt it releases tiny nano- the need to address the wor- epidemiological evidence is is the same as cooling. lead researcher Michael tools on a monitor, you could would be quite limiting,” he motion; I think we’re close electronic implants. “Printing particles called polycyclic rying levels of air pollution in well as the body really robust.” This alternative cooling McAlpine, an associate actually give doctors a sense says. However, there is more to being able to put this 3D on top of the skin [as opposed aromatic hydrocarbons big cities in order to protect of literature out As well as exacerbating mechanism works in addition professor of mechanical of touch, allowing them to do work to be done before printing device to practical to implanting under the skin] (PAHs), which easily enter our public health. “People with conditions like asthma, PAHs to normal cooling, and when engineering. more accurate surgery,” says devices can be 3D printed use and we’re pretty excited reduces the chance of poten- airways. pre-existing lung disorders there, has shown are known to cause cancer. you do the maths, that turns So far, the scientists have McAlpine. directly onto the human body. about it,” he says. tial medical problems and I “It’s essentially because of are most at risk,” says Dean, that increases in So why is diesel still being out to perfectly explain our printed 3D touch sensors The researchers also inte- “One of the key things in The researchers say the do see it as an excellent, prac- their small size that they can “particularly people with burnt? The government is ice cream mystery. It may onto a model hand. The next grated a 3D printed sensory being able to print on a real possible uses for 3D printed tical way forward for getting be inhaled,” explains Lareb asthma and COPD (chronic particulate matter under pressure to implement seem counter-intuitive, but in step is to integrate these into device onto real human skin human hand is being able devices are endless. They more people involved,” he Dean, a PhD researcher from obstructive pulmonary dis- like diesel exhaust charges on diesel cars enter- a cocktail-party emergency and found that it was sensitive to track the small move- could be used by soldiers in says. Imperial’s National Heart and ease), as well as people that ing cities but is reluctant to do you’re better off sticking warm enough to measure pulse. This the field to detect dangerous The integration of tech- Lung Institute. “Inhalation is are occupationally exposed leads to an increase so having previously encour- water in your ice cube tray. paves the way for 3D printing chemicals or explosives. They nological devices with the our primary interest as res- to diesel fumes, like lorry in mortality risk \\ aged drivers to purchase This one was a bit too ‘sci- \\ 3D printed devic- wearable health monitoring \\ The researchers could be used to develop new human body is set to become piratory scientists – clearance drivers.” them due to lower carbon ence’ – don’t worry, next devices. therapies for people who more accessible in the future. mechanisms exist in the upper Lucy Gumbiti-Zimuto, dioxide emissions. To combat week we’re back to sex. es could become the 3D printed electronic say the possible uses have lost their sense of touch, Perhaps you’ll be able to airways but because of their a medical student at the published new plans to tackle the issue, legal activist group tattoos of the 21st devices could become “the for 3D printed devic- such as leprosy sufferers. become a cyborg at the local small size, density and shape, University of Cambridge, has air pollution but these have ClientEarth will take the tattoos of the 21st century”, “People wear smart tattoo parlour. Maybe you’ll nanoparticles are able to go been suffering from asthma been criticised for being too government to court to chal- century \\ says Andy Miah, a fellow of es are endless \\ watches on their wrist now even be able to do it yourself. through the lungs and reach for the past 12 years. “I’ve weak. lenge its failure to effectively Another one of Mr Aran the Institute for Ethics and and that gives them extra “You could take this tool with peripheral areas like the had asthma since I was 10,” “I am concerned about address the UK’s air pollution Shaunak’s Little Bites of Emerging Technologies, USA. capabilities – you have the you, put a 3D printer in your alveoli. Then we have these she says, “I have noticed that high pollution as my asthma crisis so far. Science robots to give them a sense of Yet Miah is sceptical about whole world’s information on backpack and print all kinds questions of whether they are when I come to London, or isn’t that bad so people touch. “You could integrate it their usefulness for daily life. ments of the hand,” explains your wrist,” says McAlpine. of cool 3D objects,” says able to translocate to other I’ve been in London for a few who have it worse must get into surgical robots. Instead “Having something stuck to McAlpine. “We’re developing “Taking that a step further McAlpine. areas of the body.” days especially, I get more really bad symptoms,” says of just observing the surgical you on a permanent basis algorithms now that can track and integrating other types Exactly how nanoparticles asthmatic, develop a slight Gumbiti-Zimuto, “it worries 12 felixonline.co.uk/culture [email protected] Friday 9 June 2017

elix CULTURE f lberto moment to work out, but they brother Diego and his wife Giacometti’s all have names that guide Annette. Despite reworking work has you along his train of thought. their features over and over always been A piece titled Disagreeable again through intense scru- Feverish Pro- close to my Object cracked a few wry tiny, Giacometti was rarely heart. He was smiles due to being slightly satisfied with the end result, Acentral to the wider body of phallic, and Composition claiming that his work lacked artwork that inspired me to (Man and Woman), had "likeness". gress | Giacom- do art for GCSE and A level, heads tilting to distinguish The exhibition ends with a and I've based countless of which head was which. video, showing his creative my own pieces on his. Despite My favourite room was process and outlook on his being known more for his one holding a tiny collection artistic inspiration. It was etti at the Tate extremely thinly sculpted of figures and heads – all clear he was transfixed with figures, it was actually his encased behind glass with the human face in particular, drawing and paintwork that plenty of space to appreciate and loved the way sculpting inspired the majority of my the beauty of each minuscule makes use of the hands in Modern work. When I found out the piece. There was one no such a purposeful way. The Tate Modern was exhibiting bigger than the nail on my exhibition itself lived up to my him, I sincerely hoped that little finger, which led me to expectations, to say the least. it would do his work justice, appreciate the craftsmanship Each room is very different. especially as it was his first and overwhelming attention The mix of media – bronze, large scale retrospective to the most minute of details. clay and plaster sculptures of exhibition in the UK for To Giacometti the act of creat- all sizes alongside paintings ing such diminutive work was carrying his distinct style just as much a philosophy as made for a truly engaging \\ By doing a display of skill; “by doing show. By following the rise something a centimetre high, and progression of one of the something a you are more likely to get a most prolific and well-known centimetre high, sense of the universe than artists of the 20th century, if you try and do the whole through times of struggle you are more likely sky.” when he made housing dec- to get a sense of His main works were show- orations, to his late work and cased at various points – the large scale bronze sculptures the universe than if famous walking man – a of the 60s, you leave with a you try and do the bronze larger-than-life figure wealth of knowledge of his chipped meticulously to the work and character. Gia- whole sky\\ sheer core of the original. cometti would've approved, These stretched out people “I don’t mind whether the became synonymous to the exhibition presents success of twenty years. post-war spirit in Europe, failures" he said of one of the Giacometti (1901-1966) representing the alienation exhibitions of his work during was a Swiss sculptor, painter, and anxieties that were rife his life, "I have no requests, draughtsman, and print- throughout the nations. His only to proceed feverishly.” Alberto Giacometti \\ Tate, The Estate of Alber- maker, whose work mainly works are deeply emotional The show on at the Tate is to Giacometti (Fondation Giacometti, Paris and focused on the human form. – a personal favourite was testament to a life dedicated ADAGP, Paris), licensed in the UK by ACS and DACS, London, 2017 As I walked into the exhibi- one created shortly after his to exploration. This is a truly tion, I was met with a very father’s death. It was titled phenomenal collection of an unusual sight. In the centre of Woman with Her Throat Cut artist who lived for his craft. the room were rows of busts and looked less like a woman on plinths, arranged into and more like some sort of a square formation so that insect. Despite its odd shape, visitors could walk around there is no doubt of the pain them. These stylised depic- and turmoil Giacometti was tions of heads hailed from all going through when he cre- over Giacometti’s life, from ated it. His sculptures are not Lizzie Riach early naturalistic sculptures to just interesting to look at, they minute versions. It was clear make you feel. he held a lifelong fascination His paintings complement Giacometti is on at the Tate with the face, particuarly the his sculptures – the figures eyes and their expression. within them appearing small Modern until 10th September From there onwards, it and lost in the surrounding became apparent that every frame. For some he would room was laid out specifi- even paint a small box within cally to reflect his style and the canvas itself, and then Tickets interests at different points in paint the figure inside it, to Adult £18.50 (without donation £16.80) his life. The second room fol- make it appear small and lowed his extremely abstract diminished in a similar way Student £16.50 (witho3ut donation £15) surrealist work – bizarre to his sculptures. His life sculptures involving stones models were always those and strings. Some take a closest to him – mainly his Union Page Friday 9 June

Design an educational escape room Imperial Plus are recruiting

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Imperial Plus gives our 2,500+ volunteers the opportunity to develop transferrable skills through workshops delivered by Student Trainers. We ensure our Trainers benefit from the experience too by providing them with Would you like to try your hand at designing an educational escape room? training and ongoing support. Applications close on Monday 5 June. Interviews will take place on Wednesday 21 June. We are excited to present and advertise an opportunity which Imperial College Union have developed in collaboration with members of the Horizons imperialcollegeunion.org/student-trainer department. The experience is the first of its kind in that you as students will work in teams to be in charge of designing an escape room puzzle.

We’re offering 25 students the opportunity to attend a workshop on 17th and 18th July 2017 on designing an escape room. We’ll put you into teams and skill you up!

The workshop will take place at South Kensington campus on 17th July and at the White City campus on 18th July where you’ll visit the Advanced Hackspace and find out how you can use it to build puzzles. For more information visit: imperialcollegeunion.org/escape-rooms THE SUMMER BALL Officer Academy - 20 June MasqueradE Attention Club Officers! SATURDAY 24 JUNE 2017

So, you’ve successfully secured your place on a committee, exams are coming to an end and Summer Ball is close (but yet so far away). Now what…? BUY YOUR TICKET TODAY! Enter the 2017 Officer Academy! Only This year’s Officer Academy will provide you with the tools and knowledge to run your Club, Society or Project well, while providing useful tips to help you £43.00 plan your year over the summer break. For more information visit: imperialcollegeunion.org/OfficerAcademy2017 Headliners: Philip George | Neiked (DJ Set) (More acts to be announced!)

performances from students groups, inlcuding Battle of Summer Language Socials the Bands winner, Garden Party

We are looking to recruit a team of enthusiastic English speakers to help Funfair | Photobooths | Great value food & drink enhance the experience of those students taking the Centre for Academic English Pre-sessional English course. If you’d like to get involved visit: go to our website to buy your ticket imperialcollegeunion.org/summersocials

imperialcollegeunion.org IC Radio 16 felixonline.co.uk/culture [email protected] Friday 9 June 2017 Friday 9 June 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/culture 17

elix CULTURE CULTURE elix f clear, with the show’s creator, season onwards, the show course. Most glaringly, per- f Adam Reed, being quite had frequently resorted to haps, are Archer’s recurring vocal that he’d like to move just making the characters WW2 flashbacks, that seem An Ode to Sense8 Lef Apostolakis onto something different. It incompetent in order to gen- like they’re building to some Death in is no surprise then, that Reed erate laughs, something that crescendo, whereas in reality uses season seven’s cliff- is no longer necessary. they’re just sort of there. hanger to completely renew The refresh of setting also This decision is particularly hree weeks ago I Archer’s central premise, does much for the show’s strange and egregious embarked on an a near death experience, Dreamland | going even further than past wit. In particular, the banter given how well Dr. Krieger’s emotional binge- causing every member of the efforts like Vice. between characters feels a flashbacks are developed watch of the 2015 cluster to experience agony, Season eight puts Archer in lot sharper and more tightly and integrated into the plot. Netflix original is possibly one of the most a coma, using his subcon- paced than it has been in Additionally, the resolution Sense8. Within nerve-wracking and emo- Archer S8 scious as an excuse to weave recent seasons. The pacing to the central mystery is both Ttwo weeks I’d managed to tional scenes I’ve sat through. a season-long detective noir. in general is one of the predictable and unsatisfying. watch the 23 near hour- Just like Cloud Atlas, highlights of this season. long episodes of the first Sense8 succeeds as a result Momentum is never lost, and two seasons. Then a week of pandering to the ultimate \\ While many of at no point did there seem to \\ It now very much later it was announced that fantasy – connection. We be any filler. Unlike previous sense8 would not be getting are alone in this world. No the characteristics seasons, every character and feels akin to some- renewed, that episode matter what, no one will of their non-coma incident has some role to play thing like Kiss Kiss, 23 would be the last ever ever be able to share our in the overall arc. episode, and just like that existence completely. No counterparts, they In that sense, the show Bang Bang, or a I was heart broken. To one will be able to fully could easily have really undergoes a tonal more humourous the uninitiated, the series understand our views, our shift. While it is certainly still revolves around the lives of feelings, or even something been replaced with a comedy, it now very much version of The Long eight strangers who one day as simple as the meaning of new ones \\ feels akin to something like Goodbye \\ find themselves connected, turquoise. This is beautifully Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, or a reborn as one as sensates. put by Lito and Capheus in a more humorous version of They become a cluster of scene in season two where As a tribute to the passing The Long Goodbye. Accord- Although, it is worth nothing eight people sharing their they are asked who they are of George Coe, voice of ingly, if you’re just hoping for that this is, perhaps, a lives, their existence; for all by a journalist. “Who I am Archer’s long-suffering butler more of the same old Archer, conscious choice. Echoing intents and purposes from is exactly the same as who Woodhouse, the series deals you may be disappointed. Coe’s passing, it is a reminder that point onwards they you are. Not better than, not with a P.I. version of Archer However, for me this is a wel- that death is often random are a single fundamental less than. Because there is attempting to solve the mys- come change given how long and unsatisfying, and that in unit. That’s the cornerstone no one who has been or will tery of Woodhouse’s death the show has been going, truth things in life don’t have of the title and this idea of ever be exactly the same as in 1950s LA. Opting for a and thematically I enjoyed proper endings. In that sense, interconnectedness is also its either you or me.” The only shorter eight episode long this season far more than it is very much in the keeping success. force we have to mitigate the H8 to see you go \\Netflix A Private Dick in every sense of the season allows the telling of any that have come before. with the spirit of noir. If it sounds familiar it’s crippling loneliness that being And that leads to another word\\ FX \ Floyd County Productions coherent season-long story, Visually, the series also gets On the whole, the season because it is. Sense8 is the human entails, is love, but in amazing consequence I’ve felt some proper queer healthiest and most beautiful with tight pacing. The series much darker than anything it is an excellent renewal brainchild of the Wachowskis, the world on this side of the – empathy. The cluster is representation. Nomi and relationships I’ve seen repre- fully commits to the theme has covered before, and the for Archer, even if it does directors of the Matrix and screen love more often than surprisingly diverse. A white Lito aren’t just trans and sented on-screen. and setting; gone are the show actually becomes quite so by moving away from Cloud Atlas. All three of these not fails to break the barriers straight American cop, an gay tokens. They’re fully It’s unclear what has led hallmark anachronisms, and serious at points. some of the staples of the pieces address in some way between humans. Behind the Icelandic DJ, a trans hacker, developed characters that to the cancellation of the deliberately sliding timescale. That’s not to say there aren’t series. There’s a lot to enjoy or another the human condi- screen however, by dissolving a Korean businesswoman/ happen to be trans or gay. series. Many have blamed its In fact, in many ways the elements to find here, particularly for fans tion, our place in the universe this barrier that blocks human underground fighter, a This is not surprising given outrageous budget (though Anurag Deshpande series feels distinct from the fault with, of detective stories and the nature of the glue connection the Wachowskis Kenyan bus driver, an Indian that Lana Wachowski started at $9 million per episode rest of Archer. While many of or noir. However, that connects us. In a way get to titillatingly ask, what biochemist, a German thief publicly addressing her sense8 is on the same level of the characters share the long-standing sense8 feels like a philosoph- if we weren’t alone? What and a Mexican gay action transness in 2012, while Lilly as HBO’s Westworld and same characteristics of their fans may find ical sequel to Cloud Atlas would life be like if we could movie star. It is unlikely that Wachowski came out last cheaper than The Crown). non-coma counterparts, that it’s not (written by David Mitchell). really truly connect with other anyone watching will fail to year as a trans woman. But In a recent interview with he ever popular they could have easily been quite what Who can forget Somni-451 people? Perhaps playing identify with at least one of CNBC, Netflix CEO Reed action-spy-office- replaced with new ones. The they delivering her revelation? with this concept alone would the characters. But identifying Hastings said they just had whatever comedy season feels like a proof- expect “Our lives are not our own. have been enough to create with one of them means iden- \\ Speaking of too many hits in their hands. returns for yet of-concept for an entirely or From womb to tomb, we are great TV but the direction and tifying with all of them. Sadly that seems to mean that another season; different show. Actually, this wanted bound to others. Past and production ensure the mes- You’ll feel for Will losing his gender and sexual if a title doesn’t prove to be one that again opts proves to be a strength for a out of present. And by each crime sage is driven straight home. father just as much as you’ll identity, this might a mega-hit it doesn’t stand Tto change the show’s setting season, as Reed deftly com- Archer. and every kindness, we birth It’s hard to describe exactly feel for Riley losing her family, be the first major a chance. Maybe a petition altogether. Given the show’s bines the grasp the viewer has our future.” what the Wachowskis do, but for Sun taking the blame for will give Sense8 a second relatively niche premise, and with characters’ personalities While Cloud Atlas explores they’ve undoubtedly create her brother’s embezzlement, mainstream produc- wind. Until then all that’s left its ever-falling viewership, it’s with new, and deeper, back- the connections of human some of the most beautiful for Capheus trying to find to say is farewell. You’ll be quite impressive that it has stories to build a robustly real lives across time, sense8 toys cinematic scenes I’ve ever sat meds for his mother, for Kala tion where I’ve felt missed. You took us to places made it this far. It has even world. This allows for subtle with the same connections through (and honestly the sex getting married to a man she some proper queer we never thought we could managed to be renewed alterations to their behaviour, across space. The fact that scenes are some of the steam- does not love, for Wolfgang be taken and gave many of through till a tenth season. and prevents the fatigue that Doona Bae (Somni-451) iest and most breathtaking extracting his revenge, for representation \\ us the representation we only Not that I’m complaining, would be expected after eight happens to play Sun Bak, a scenes I’ve ever seen). Nomi having her transness dreamed we could get. Thank given that I’m a huge fan seasons. As a result, one of business woman/fighter from Most importantly though rejected and for Lito being you. of the series. Over the past the minor issues that had Seoul in Sense8 and one of they manage to really convey called a faggot. Speaking of it’s certainly refreshing and so few seasons, however, the popped up around season Beating your meat meant something different the cluster’s eight is far from the feeling of a no-barriers gender and sexual identity, very empowering as in some creative fatigue has become five is also resolved. From that back then\\ FX \ Floyd County Productions serendipitous. A scene in connection between their this might be the first major ways the queer characters season two that puts Sun in main cast. mainstream production where are blessed with some of the 18 felixonline.co.uk/millennials [email protected] Friday 9 June 2017 Friday 9 June 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/millennials 19 felix MILLENNIALS MILLENNIALS elix I know all this talk has probably whetted your gaming appetite, so next I’ve preparedf a list of The great age of the 3DS recommendations of what you should be playing on the 3DS. (If you don’t see Pokémon it’s because I’ve played and talked about it to death and maybe it’s time to move on)

The Legend of Zelda: A Link Fire Emblem: Awakening Between Worlds The Fire Emblem series was on its way out and it looked like only a miracle could save With Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask the franchise. And indeed a miracle being remakes of old titles, A Link Between happened, and its name was Awaken- Worlds was the first original Zelda title ing. This sequel combined features on the 3DS and boy, did it deliver. It is from old games while streamlining an amazing production that is lovingly everything to make it suitable Saad Ahmed fanboys about crafted with nostalgia from previous for newcomers. It is an amazing games and built to perfectly fit the speci- turn-based, tactical game with a why the Nintendo 3DS is the fications of the 3DS. It makes a great use gameplay that gets you thinking of the 3D and has enough new features and a well-written story that keeps greatest handheld console to make it look exquisite. While most you engrossed. It’s battle mechan- Legend of Zelda games are a little more ics are addicting and personally I to date hardcore and are for the serious gamers, think Awakening is the perfect game this game reminds you to have fun again and to bring in new fans and remind old marvel at beautiful sceneries. players why they love the series so much. \\ Nintendo \\ Ichijinsha Six years since the initial release and still going strong \\ Nintendo

he 3DS has been forgotten in dark bedroom engaging experiences that to buy and download so you to the single-screened Switch the go-to portable corners collecting dust. stand in a league of their can even enjoy games from would take some work. Only Phoenix Wright: Dual Super Smash Bros. games machine of To combat this, Nintendo own. literally 20 years ago. Nintendo can answer these its time, testified by decided to change their mar- At the end of the day, The 3D feature isn’t com- questions, it’s just a matter of Destinies Super Smash Brothers is one the most popu- the sales of over 65 keting strategy. They slashed there’s basically a shit-ton of monly used these days, and when; maybe E3 will reveal lar fighting game franchises of all time and million units, and the price so much, people games you can play on the in fact, no one really talks some secrets. One-half detective game and one-half visual one which everyone has heard of. The Tis a shining example of how claimed they were digging 3DS and regardless of which about it anymore. But once Having said that, I still novel, Dual Destinies tells the story of defence fact that its latest entry was released to make a perfect handheld their own grave. They also game you get, it’s almost cer- you’re able to adapt to it, it’s believe the 3DS is a worth- attorney Phoenix Wright and his subordi- on the 3DS makes it all the better. console. Its only other stopped focusing on the 3D tainly going to be good. With actually really amazing. Cut while investment. You still nates Apollo and Athena (I’m not kidding, The newest addition to the Smash portable rival, the Playstation gimmick and started to work just over 1000 titles, there scenes and battle sequences have access to a large variety these are the characters’ actual names) Bros family introduces several new Vita is as good as dead these on actually making good are multiple opportunities are brought to life and of games which stand their as they get involved in all sorts of adven- players and stages, while taking the games. Slowly but surely, for you to entertain yourself. literally jump out at you. It ground for the next couple tures in the name of justice. This game series to new heights and reworking the 3DS rose from its former Another quality which makes makes all the surreal worlds of years. With portability, is a good entry point into the series as its competitive edge. Admittedly, \\ Nintendo’s position until it became Nin- the 3DS so great is the fact and adventures all the more you also have the freedom no prior knowledge is necessary. It’s a there’s not much in single player tendo’s anthropomorphised engaging and impressive; of gaming wherever you are, bit light on action but it’s worth playing mode so this is a game best served to anthropomorphised golden boy. Arguable even definitely worth the extra even when you should be if you’re a wannabe detective, animé multiple people. Just make sure they’re golden boy \\ more so than the Wii U when battery drain. paying attention in a lecture. fan, someone who likes jokes and/or a on the same level of skill as you, otherwise it was released. Unfortunately all great The 3DS isn’t just the portable hawk-enthusiast (Play the game, it’ll make it quickly becomes you losing immediately and For a portable console things must come to an end console of its generation, it’s sense) watching the other players fight for half an \\ Bandai Namco days, and mobile games you can take anywhere, and the same is true for the hour. don’t even come close to the 3DS has an insanely 3DS. People predict that it \\ Capcom meeting the phenomenon that large collection of games. has another year or so to go \\ With just over is the 3DS. It has a large and There is literally something before Nintendo decide to 1000 titles, there Luigi’s Mansion: Dark stable fanbase and its market for everyone with family move on. What comes next Professor Layton and the dominance has been absolute friendly, light hearted games is anyone’s guess. A lot of are multiple Moon for the past few years. like Animal Crossing and people are looking at the Azran Legacy Things weren’t always hardcore games like Monster Switch as the successor, which opportunities for It’d be a disservice not to mention a successful however, and early Hunter for the more serious could be possible, but right you to entertain This is the sixth entry in the Professor Mario game on this list but I’m going reception was poor to put it gamer. Nintendo also played that it has backwards com- now, it’s still too early to tell. Layton series, but one that’s written so to go with a spin-off title as opposed politely. When it first came into nostalgia quite heavily patibility, unlike some other Maybe we’ll get a slimmer yourself \\ you can enjoy it with no prior knowl- to a main series game. This game out, all the way back in 2011, by reintroducing old games consoles *cough* Playstation version of the Switch in the edge of the others. Professor Layton will make you laugh as you control it’s major selling point was such as Ocarina of Time 4! *cough*. The ability to future because at the moment, is a series that is less about frantic Mario’s lesser known, skinnier and that it packed the 3D without and breathing fresh life into play old games is one of the it’s a little too big and clunky a platform for gaming across button mashing and more about younger brother Luigi and basically the need for 3D-glasses. their old franchises like Fire main reasons the “PC Master and not exactly pocket size. the ages and a means to play using your head to solve puzzles and become a ghostbuster. Beyond that, There weren’t really any great Emblem: Awakening, the first Race” is a thing. On the On the other hand, we could many beloved titles from more move the story forward. This game it has a nice multiplayer mode as well games on it at the time and entry of the series on the 3DS, you can play any of the get a console that’s a sequel than three decades of gaming features a rich world, full of colourful as some cool features that make this a the 3D tidbit was all Nintendo 3DS, breaking records and games released on the DS so to the 3DS. What’s unique history while on the move. characters, and offers lots of things to do fun enjoyable experience. It’s nice to see had going for it. Due to this, it bringing in new fans. The that’s a further 2000 more about the 3DS and the DS and even more player choice regarding in Luigi stand on his feet and be resourceful was overshadowed by other games aren’t just pocket sized games you can play. On the is that they both have dual what order you do them. If you want to take in taking down ghosts as opposed to playing consoles at the time and for versions of the main console eShop, Nintendo have also screens, so trying to adapt \\ Level-5 things easy and like to actually think before second fiddle to Mario like he usually does. \\ Next Level Games a long time, bought units lay games, they are fresh and started releasing old games the gameplay of certain titled you jump, this is the game for you. 20 felixonline.co.uk/millennials [email protected] Friday 9 June 2017 felix MILLENNIALS E3 2017 | What to expect

Qasim Mahmood spills the beans on what to look forward to from E3 this weekend

Expos are where the fun is at! \\ Sergey Galyonkin

he biggest gaming cancelled and completely Kickstarter, and the Final definitely have both the skill to the warm reception of the event of the year scrapped. Therefore, all Fantasy 7 Remake. This and pedigree to do the wall- original, and this looks to be and is right around their previous showrunners year they still have a wealth crawler justice, and another taking the franchise in the the corner; all the underperformed in some of titles to show off. Hideo good Spider-Man game is right direction. Xenoblade biggest gaming way, which leaves Microsoft Kojima’s Death Stranding is long overdue. Chronicles 2 will also make companies will be with very little to show this sure to make an appearance, God of War and The Last an appearance after its Ttaking the stage to announce year in terms of established and after the two great, very of Us Part II are likely to be brief announcement trailer their plans for the upcoming franchises. cryptic trailers we’ve received Sony’s frontrunners, and both year and showcase brand However, they have a so far it would be great to are hotly anticipated. God of new games and consoles. potential ace-in-the-hole: see more of the world Kojima War features an older Kratos \\ Nintendo are in First up of the big three is Project Scorpio, their new wants to create. As the game with a son, and after killing Microsoft, and they are in the 4K console, and the most is very early in its devel- the pantheon of gods in the a great place with most interesting position of powerful gaming console opment it’s highly unlikely previous games, this is set in the release of the all the companies attending. ever produced. It’s likely they the realms of Norse mythol- Unlike Sony and Nintendo, will sell the Scorpio as much ogy. The Last of Us Part II is Switch, and their who have definite plans as they can but they need to the direct sequel to Naughty Digital Event will and large releases coming double down on the games. Dog’s critically acclaimed soon, Microsoft is in a rather The only games we know of The Last of Us, and the trailer focus on upcoming unique, and arguably pre- that may be given a definite indicated that Ellie and Joel games \\ carious, position. In 2016, release date are Forza Mot- would be on the hunt for Microsoft shone the spotlight orsport 7, which should show members of the Fireflies. on four major franchises on off the Scorpio’s 4K visuals Finally, Nintendo are in a Xbox: Halo, Gears of War, spectacularly; Crackdown 3, great place with the release previously, likely showing Scalebound and Tomb Raider. which has been stuck in devel- of the Switch, and their Digital off gameplay, and after the However, soon afterwards, opment for years on end; and Event will focus on upcoming critical acclaim the original Sea of Thieves, Rare’s new games. Their showrunner is of received it should have a multiplayer pirate game. This course Super Mario Odyssey, great showing. \\ Sony stole the leaves them with a significant likely the most highly antici- Finally, the Mario and amount of room to (hope- pated Switch game; we’ll find Rabbid crossover game – show in 2015 and fully) surprise and exceed out more about the gameplay likely the worst-kept secret 2016 \\ expectations. mechanics and stages, and it of this year’s E3 – will also Sony stole the show in will also be playable on the be announced and detailed, 2015 and 2016, and going we will see any gameplay, show floor. along with details on the Halo 5: Guardians and Gears into E3 this year it is difficult though that would make it all Splatoon 2 and Arms will Zelda DLC packs, Virtual of War 4 both received to see how they can top their the more exciting. also be present and playable Console and Nintendo’s plans rather lukewarm receptions. previous showings. They have There is also the new at the tournament this year; for their Online Services. Tomb Raider was only a a track record for surprising Spider-Man game from both will be heavily featured timed exclusive on Xbox and delighting fans with Insomniac, which we saw and are evidence of Ninten- and released on the PS4 their announcements, which very briefly last year. do’s push towards esports. the following year. Most include the return of The Last Insomniac are known for pro- Splatoon 2 in particular has surprisingly, Scalebound was Guardian, the Shenmue III ducing fun, frantic games and a lot of hype behind it due Friday 9 June 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/millennials 21 MILLENNIALS felix Lazy food edition | Chilled rice pudding with

berry compote Chill

Are you close to passing out from v the lack of ventilation in the library? Are you tossing and turning in bed lamenting the passing of spring anf the lack of an AC? Do your friends describe you as a rice enthusiast? Well we might just have what you need.

’m back you fools and to sweets and you will not feel celebrate let me share a particularly guilty for having story from my childhood. a break as this one has, in my When I was in elemen- opinion, very few chances tary school, our teacher of turning into another used to teach us different let’s-watch-all-of-Orange- I‘life hacks’ based on science is-the-new-black-in-one-go – she said. One of the most incident. Basically, you just memorable things she ever make a nice-healthy-huge cup said was that it’s better to of coffee and while it is still 200mL of water and all the drink a hot drink (hot tea) hot, you take spoons of ice Regardless, my rice pud- \\ You cannot ingredients (except the corn- when it’s hot outside, if you cream and you eat them at ding brings all the boys to the flour) into a pan and bring want to cool down. I don’t the same time with the coffee. yard. For real it’s the shit. convince me that to boil. Simmer for 10-15 want to say that this is bullshit, I have friends who just put having a hot drink minutes. but it never quite worked for ice cream in the coffee and In a separate bowl, whisk me. And frankly, you cannot then eat it, but I think that’s will make you feel the cornflour with 2 tbsp of convince me that having a disgusting. The special taste Ingredients better than having cold water (it should have hot drink will make you feel of covfefe comes exactly from some ice cream in a the consistency of a paste). better than having some ice the combination of very cold For the pudding Slowly add the paste to the cream in a flaming hot day. ice cream and hot coffee con- flaming hot day\\ berry compote and keep I’d normally make some sumed at the same time – just 1.5l semi-skimmed milk stirring over low heat until chilled treat or other but before the ice cream melts 1 vanilla pod, seeds only it thickens. Stir for 2-5 more as you might have noticed, into your mouth, taking care 250g pudding rice minutes and then remove from the fact that I have so much of any potential minor burns. simmer for 25 minutes or until the heat. 2 tbsp brown sugar revision *cough* learning And if you want to feel it is tender – yes, this is the Serve the cold rice pudding *cough* to do now means fancy – fancier than downing 200 ml double cream best way to work those flabby in some fancy bowls or I cannot lose too much pre- an ice cream tube – and if arms since you haven’t gone glasses and top with fruit com- cious time even with eating. you have enough time now to the gym once in the past pote. It should be enough for And because I truly, deeply and you’ve finished your For the compote month. Depending on the 4-6 servings, but I know you believe at this point of frantic exams, or if you want to density of the mixture, you will eat it all in one go when revision that I don’t need procrastinate with cooking if 700g mixed berries might need to add some extra you’ve got dem cravings sleep and/or that you can live you still have work to do, here 100g caster sugar milk. And muscle. only some mushy white ricey on coffee, I have found myself I am, presenting you with the ½ tsp sea salt Add the brown sugar and goodness can satisfy. I won’t at a culinary block which I most impressive rice pudding keep stirring. Remove from mention sharing it with others. 1 vanilla pod, seeds only have resorted to solving with you can imagine!... Though the heat and, after it cools a That’s just blasphemous. one of my favourite Italian the truth is I’ve been way too juice of 1 lemon bit, refrigerate for at least 30 P.S. I missed you, but my ‘things’: covfefe. I am sure lazy to cook anything more 1 tbsp cornflour minutes. lovely exams have been keep- that you’ve had a covfefe at complex than this over the In a separate bowl, whip ing me busy :) least a couple times but you past month. Instead I’ve suc- the double cream and mix might not be familiar with this cumbed to being a lazy-ass Place the milk and the it with the cooled pudding. particular name. student who uses restaurants vanilla seeds in a pan over Refrigerate for another hour The covfefe is going to and deliveries as their main medium heat. While stirring (at least). solve your enormous need for sources of nutrition. constantly, add the rice and For the compote, place Andrada Balmez coffee and your cravings for 22 felixonline.co.uk/millennials [email protected] Friday 9 June 2017 Friday 9 June 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/millennials 23 felix MILLENNIALS MILLENNIALS felix The unwelcome guest Use all the clichés Make them really unwelcome in your space. If they’re They will have never heard them before allergic to cats, get a cat. If they’re not allergic to cats, get because they are Imperial students and it’s a mean cat that likes to bite. It sounds like a lot of effort but unlikely that they will have had an extensive 5 maybe your pet will end up being a social media star and 7 love life. But flip them round for clarity. You you can be a full time YouTuber. Then you’ll definitely be don’t still want to be friends, it really is them, broken up with. L not you. You did mean to hurt them, and A you will love again soon you’re sure. JUST THE TIP The fake cheat T Manufacture a scenario where they find Spread the love you cheating on them (possibly using the SEX Keep saying you want to open friend finder app). If they’re not the snoopy up the relationship. Tell them, type you’ll have to get creative. Pay some- E “I just don’t think that there’s 6 one to throw their drink in your face at a a finite amount of love that I restaurant in front of your partner, saying A How to dump someone (you met in Metric and can give”. Unless you’re poly, something like “You said she was fat and in which case you’re probably ugly!”. Hopefully you’ll shortly get another Just ghost them already so used to communicat- drink thrown in your face. If they persist, change your subsequently fell in love with) ing that this whole thing really number. If they show up at your 4 ought not to be a problem. flat or your department, move Keep pushing for a threesome 8 house, transfer universities, burn Everyone knows breaking up is horrible. We’re here to make the process better for you (although with their hot best friend. They’ll off your fingerprints and start a either oblige or refuse, which new life in suburban Spain. You’re probably worse for the other person) Lef Apostolakis & Tessa Davey you can use later. It’s a win-win Alex Macgee now. Embrace it. situation. Once they agree to ou were weak. Despite our foolproof guides on how to have a one night stand (in Metric), ‘How to have a one night stand (in Metric)’, and how not to fall the threesome, have the three- in love with someone (from Metric), ‘How not to fall in love with someone (from Metric)’, you went ahead and fell in love with someone (from Metric) and some, and then dump them now you’ve been stuck in a relationship with them (someone you met in Metric) for months. Somehow, this relationship still sort of revolves around Metric. immediately after because you The Congratulations, you’re trash. But, just like a gastrobug, it’s run its course, and more importantly, summer is nearly here and you want to bang some hotties in think they’re cheating on you final choice a hostel in Indonesia as you travel around trying to find yourself. Or, it’s your final year, and you’re ready to Gold Rush. You can’t do that with a relationship, with the other person. 9 or a gastrobug. So you want out. But how? C If they resist breaking up with you despite all Y these measures, you need to do something drastic. The Prove their friends right fact alone that they still want to be with you Be a dick They were warned by their friends about you, means they’re a sociopath and you You Piss off their house- now it’s time to prove them right. Spread rumours Cool things need to end this relation- mates so much that about your own infidelity. Then lie, say you’ve ship fast. have two their friends insist been cheating on them for months. Lying to them down that they break up 2 is kinder than being honest with them: they’ve Forget your anniversary, 1 options with you. Force their taken such a toll on your appearance and street 3 their birthday, maybe even It’s time to talk about your Or, fake your own Obviously the grown up thing to do is sit them hand. Tommy and cred that no one could possibly want you, and their name for a second feelings. Just do it some- death. down and have a conversation with them, but you’re not Gina never back E of course there’s not someone else. All you want there. Keep reminiscing where public. Maybe on a ready for that. You’re a pathetic excuse for a human being, down. Unfortunately really is to sit at home in your underwear eating about things you didn’t do bus. Right as they’re getting The long game and you forgot to pack your spine when you were it could backfire, Ben and Jerry’s straight from the carton and with them. “Remember when off. It’s all backfired, and they’re even moving into halls. You’ve chosen to go down and you could be masturbating over that hot girl from Biology’s S we went to M&M World? more in love with you now. Stop the route of making them break up coerced into getting Instagram. Why can’t you just be alone?! Oh wait no that wasn’t with trying, you’re clearly meant to be. with you. Nice job. a love pad. Avoid at you”. Ask them how many If you don’t manage to kill your Let us help 8 all costs. siblings they have at least relationship, marriage probably twice a week. And always will, so get out there and start make their tea wrong. shopping for engagement rings. BOOM The sooner you get this over with, Failing all that, send them this flow- the sooner you can get divorced chart from felix. You’re welcome. and finally be free. You might need Smother them with love a child or two to drive them away Give them so much love that they can’t even cope. Be Lef Tessa but that’s what boarding schools there every waking hour with a compliment. Be there 10 are for. in their sleep. Be ever present, oppressive with love Create false and undesired affection. intimacy by Get a tattoo of their Swamp their S Y sharing false name on your body social media The high stakes play Show them your new tattoo. Repeat- This is for the ones who’ve stood The reverse ghost It’s now or never, book a really extrava- secrets 4 edly. Show their friends. Show their 5 their ground. Start taking loads Constantly call and text them, gant holiday six months in the future. Once Be extremely clingy Like maybe tell them about that mum. Don’t tell them it’s not a real of photos of them sleeping and and ask why they’re not calling there’s no chance that you’ll get your money Change their contact name on your phone to 3 time you killed your ex’s dog, tattoo, it’s a transfer tattoo, obviously. post them on Facebook. Caption you back. Feign being ghosted. 7 back, it’s almost guaranteed that you will “The One”. Show them. Look proud. You’re because they were spending too You’re not an idiot, you don’t really them, “I wish you were here. Demand to know why they’re break up. Hopefully, by the time you’re trying to freak them out with emotional prox- much time together. That could be T love them. There’s only space for one Closer. Inside me.” Yeah we 6 ghosting you! It’s your life, how ready to hit Hawaii you’ll be single and imity. You’ll know you’ve succeeded if you can them. You could be like Alex in man on your skin and that’s Jon Bon E don’t know either, you freak. could they do such a thing?! ready to mingle. see the terror in their eyes. If not, escalate. Fatal Attraction. Only your bond is Jovi. You ain’t gonna live forever, so 2 important... this relationship needs to die. Now. I F I N N 24 felixonline.co.uk/millennials [email protected] Friday 9 June 2017 felix MILLENNIALS DDRRUUGGSS

We’re all a bunch of boozy drug addicts Theo Welwyn

very single one before we are taking advan- drug which left them in such laugh at, and other things risks should be considered of us has as tage of the newly affordable a state, you would be con- that will go on to shape who as thoroughly as they are for some point been shot-racks in Metric. From that cerned, yet we regularly drink we are as people for the rest other drugs. lectured about day forward, grotesque quan- booze in the name of fun. of our lives. In the same fash- I like a drink as much as the dangers of tities of alcohol are consumed For a lot of people, rampant ion, our over indulgence in the next person. Alcohol is cocaine, Adderall, on a near-nightly basis at alcoholism, like other drug alcohol can continue past our Eand heroin. Take them once pre-drinks sessions and in the use, is confined to a soon-to- Uni days, with all the health and it might not be long Union at circles. Friends’ hair be-nostalgic experimental risks that entails. Just a three- \\ Just a three- before you’re finding an is held up as they chunder phase, filled with embar- year stint of alcohol abuse is excuse to take them again. into a toilet, if they’re feeling rassing Facebook pictures seen as a rite of passage in year stint of alcohol Regardless of whether it’s the particularly conscientious, of those four months you students’ lives, but we would abuse is seen as oh-so-good high or a few too or onto the pavement if not. committed to growing your be horrified at the thought if many nights out one week, During freshers’ week, black- hair out, or that Bob Marley it were another recreational a rite of passage you can easily stumble from ing out before you make it to lyric you had tattooed on drug. in students’ lives, a ‘managed’ habit into an the club becomes a great ice your left ankle. University is Alcohol is a drug. It is addiction without realising it. a depressant, resulting in but we would be The risk of addiction and its slurred speech, reduced horrified at the woes are hammered home by cognitive ability, focus, our parents and teachers in If it wasn’t for higher education, Rich and Geoffrey wouldn’t have had perceptual disturbances, thought if it were school, and most of us enter the mind expanding opportunity to eyeball shots of Tequila and slowed reactions. Most another recreational University holding an oath people drink it to relax and never to touch ‘those bad employ their reduced inhibi- drug \\ drugs’. Financial destitution, tions by throwing shapes and a septum on permanent attempting to chat potential leave, and those “This is your partners up on a night out, brain on drugs” PSAs haunt yet at higher doses its depres- deeply embedded in many our thoughts at the mention sant effects are felt in full cultures as a gastronomic of Class As. Yet despite this force. I’m sure I don’t need pleasure and social enabler. oath (however long it remains to say more about the con- It is this long cultural history, intact throughout our years sequences of overindulging; combined with the incredi- at University), many of us many of us have experienced ble lobbying power of the become addicts in our first them ourselves. Most of us Goliath alcohol industry that week here. Our drug of are also aware of its toll on exempts alcohol from being choice? Alcohol. society. In 2014, there were included in drug awareness With Summer imminent, nearly 9,000 alcohol-related talks, or most recently, the excuses today become as deaths in the UK. Drinking Psychoactive Substances common as much : BBQs, makes up 10% of the UK Act 2016, which saw other lads’ holidays, and epic trips burden of disease and death, formerly legal highs banned. to find yourself in Southeast ranking it third in lifestyle In a society that prioritises Asia are all socially conven- risk factors, after smoking science as a means of know- ient ways of fuelling your and obesity. Even moderate ing the world, we need an addiction. An addiction borne use can have health effects, evidence-based drugs policy of the almost unlimited free- from weight gain to reduced that gives fair consideration to dom gifted to us as freshers, exercise performance, while all substances based on their having moved out from under heavy use can lead to serious health risks. As long as we the watchful eyes of our par- health risks such as cirrhosis continue to ignore the facts, ents and landed a seemingly about testing our limits and of the liver and oesophageal substance abuse will take its astronomical stipend from the breaker rather than a wor- defining our boundaries. It’s varices, which can cause you toll on our health and our Government. After waving rying harbinger of nascent often where we invent our to literally spew blood. I’m economy. goodbye to our parents on alcoholism. If someone told identity. We all do things we not advocating prohibition, all move-in day, it is mere hours you they regularly took a will later look back on and I’m saying is that its uses and Friday 9 June 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/millennials 25 MILLENNIALS felix

CRISIS Damn, antihistamines and persist. Make sure from now on, whenever your alpha is in the same Nothing makes my day like advice on how space as your offending housemate you explic- Dear Chris, Chris to deal with a good dom top. I have to say, I itly scorn them. Maybe spit on them in passing. don’t know who you are Vivien but it sounds This should calm things down for a while. Yesterday one of my houesemates bought me flowers. Big like you’re loving it. And you should. Being in woop I know. Only my girlfriend came over and saw them a relationship with a dom top is like having Now on to the rest of your life: milking it. This and got really jealous (she’s a dom top). to care for a chocolate covered puppy. That’s is your opportunity to get all those things you My housemate only got them because they were reduced to also covered in nails. Some of which carry always wanted but couldn’t justify the cost of. something like 50p but this innocent gesture has now sparked hepatitis. But if you can navigate straight to All you have to do is pretend you’re getting a diplomatic incident. the gooey centre you’ll never want out again. minor gifts from random friends or admirers I’m pretty sure the girlfriend is going to ‘surprise’ me with and your dom top will immediately try to... a massive bouquet tomorrow (obviously hers have to be So let’s see. Your daddy is jelly. Good. That’s well top them. A second hand scarf will turn bigger) which is great, only I’m actually allergic to flowers. the hallmark of every healthy relationship! into a new summer wardrobe, an open mic Also I’m afraid she might hurt my housemate. Maybe set fire It sounds like she’s gonna be getting you a night will turn into Lady Gaga tickets and a to our flat. Out of love. really big bouquet tomorrow. It will probably tamagotchi will turn into an actual puppy. Suggestions? be packing some pollen-heavy flowers, just to make you suffer. But we both know that’s Next stop: gimp life. Best, what you really want from this relationship anyway so let’s not make a big deal out of it. Big luv, Viv All you have to do is fill your fragile body with Chris xxxx

HOROSCOPES VIRGO ARIES TAURUS LEO CANCER GEMINI

This week you decide This week you quit This week you wake This week you trade This week you’re This week you get you hate student drinking beer ‘cos every up and realise you your union colours for a Sport Imperial and drunk with a bunch of volunteers. time you taste it, all you slept through Thursday Nando’s voucher. Cheeky. you’re wondering if scientists from your lab can think of is running and failed to vote. This you’re gonna get one and wake up the next through fields of wheat. is all your fault. Oh more shout out in felix day with five emails well. before the end of term. offering you PhDs. You Maybe. didn’t even have to suck anyone off. You think. SAGITTARIUS LIBRA SCORPIO AQUARIUS CAPRICORN PISCES

This week you decide This week you’re This week you This week you This week you ask This week you’re to apply tactical voting felix and you don’t decide to go on a diet decide to grow a felix to break up with Donald Trump. People to your exams. You have any material on consisting entirely of soul patch to match your significant other. are wondering why go to two out of three. the election because curly-fries. If you can’t your soul-searching Sorry Phil. This isn’t you want to fuck Resits will be fine. you go to print right get a beach bod you’ll Southeast Asia working out. It’s you. the planet. What as the polls close. This at least have a bod as summer plans. You stupid fuck. Delete they don’t know is is clearly a silencing wide as a beach. Congratulations. my number. Sara. that you’ve already attempt by The Man. You’re officially trash. purchased Mars and can’t wait to put it on the real estate market. Student Support Fund

If you suddenly find ContaCt the Student yourself in financial FinanCial Support team to Find out more: difficulties or experience an unexpected change +44 (0)20 7594 9014 in circumstances, you Student Hub, Level 3, Sherfield Building may be eligible to apply for emergency financial www.imperial.ac.uk/fees-and-funding help through the Student Support Fund. Friday 9 June 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/sport 27

SPORT elix Keeping Track of Imperial’s Cross Countryf & Athletics Club

In the women’s events Liv aturday the 27th In the even more difficult Papaioannou came 5th in of May saw women’s 400m hurdles, Jenny shot put with 7.21m, ahead the final event Lea ran 1:36.16, despite of Mundell with 5.79m. Both in the London having never jumped over Papaioannou and Mundell Universities a hurdle before! She also also threw the javelin along and Colleges hopped, skipped and jumped with Meuriot, with Papaioan- SAthletics (LUCA) outdoors valiantly in the triple jump. nou finishing 3rd with 23.91m, championship take place. With the sun beating down ahead of Mundell’s 15.88m, The series of three athletics on the Battersea track, a and Meuriot’s 8.50m. Meuri- meets between the London water station was set up ot’s final event was the discus, universities had previously for the longest event of the in which she threw 9.45m. visited St. Mary’s and day – the 5000m. In her Some of the most exciting Woodford athletics tracks, third of six events, Ophélie races of the day were the and the destination for Meuriot finished strongly to relay races. Imperial’s the final was Battersea’s run 23:55.77, just ahead of 4x100m teams finished in Millennium Arena. Catherine Spurin’s 24:14.17. 48.84 and 63.82, and the The warm but windy day In the men’s event, McKeon men’s 4x400m team came began with a 1-2 for Imperial home in 4:19.19. in an excellent women’s In the medley relay, a 1500m led home by Kate \\ In the even special event which has Olding in a time of 4:57.16, 200m, 400m and 800m legs closely followed by Sarah more difficult compete in the 800m, running lap over two or three km, with and both men and women Johnson in 5:03.29 and women’s 400m 2:28.71, just behind Duncan water jumps to contend with competing in one event, Ophélie Meuriot finishing 5th Ingram’s 2:27.58, finishing each lap too. A crowd typi- Imperial assembled a strong i n 6 :11.17. hurdles, Jenny Lea 3rd and 2nd respectively in the cally gather around the water team enough team to podium; The men’s race saw some ran 1:36.16, de- second heat. Imperial’s future jump, with plenty of splashes finishing rd3 in 7:49.55. good performances too, with athletics captain Max Thorp and tumbles occurring during As the event was the 3rd Fergus Johnson (4:54.13) spite having never earlier posted a speedy each race. Representing and final meet of the series, and Duncan Hunter (4:58.90) jumped over a hur- 2:10.46 to finish 5th in the first Imperial in the men’s race was medals were presented for competing in the first heat, heat. Duncan Ingram, who went the highest points scored and Duncan Ingram (5:01.51) dle before \\ In the women’s 800m, wom- in each discipline over the and Lawrence Tse (5:48.01) en’s captain Alex Mundell ran course of the championship. running in the second. extremely well to finish rd3 in \\ Some of the Overall, bronze medals Meanwhile, five Imperial posted a new personal best 2:24.16. went to Women’s Captain athletes competed in the long of 18:04.92 despite the heat, Next was the turn of the most exciting races Alex Mundell for 800m and jump; David Fong leapt 5.94m gusts on the back straight of spectators’ favourite – the of the day were the our medley relay team, silver – enough to finish nd2 on the track, and suspect water steeplechase. This event medals to next year’s Athlet- the day – with multi-eventer delivery from his teammates. involves hurdling five large relay races \\ ics Captain Max Thorp for Hunter jumping 4.49m and McKeon then went on to barriers (91.4cm for men) per 800m, Liv Papaioannou for Jack McKeon 4.22m. In the javelin, David Fong for long women’s event, Zhen Wang- on to finish in 12:31.00 after jump, and Athletics Captain Koh flew 2.99m and Meuriot a surge in pace on the penul- Raul Rinken for shotput and reached 2.84m shortly after timate lap to ensure he was gold medals to Kate Olding her 1500m. Wang-Koh later not lapped by the eventual for the 1500m and Raul for went on to clear 1.20m in the winner! discus. high jump. Over in the field events, In the final standings, Impe- In the 100m sprints, Impe- Athletics Captain Raul rial managed a respectable rial’s Paul Guillon ran 12.83, Rinken came 2nd in the shot 4th place out of all the compet- with Stefan Renstrom finishing put, throwing 10.47m, while ing universities and colleges, in a rapid 12.21, and Hunter James Davis reached 7.70m behind UCL, King’s and LSE. running an impressive 13.07 and multi-eventer Ingram Special thanks go to Imperi- after his 1500m and long threw 5.86m. Davis and al’s Matt Douthwaite and Shiv jump. Hunter and Guillon Ingram also competed in the Patel for all their hard work then went on to run the 200m javelin, with throws of 26.81m and dedication in organising in times of 26.86 and 26.01 and 20.04m respectively. the championships. respectively. Not satisfied Davis also entered the discus, with two sprint events, Guillon throwing 17.69m, while next ran the notoriously Rinken won the event by difficult 400m to post an over 7m with a huge throw of Fergus Johnson impressive 56.20. 36.38m. 28 felixonline.co.uk/puzzles [email protected] Friday 9 June 2017

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