The Lure of the Eh

THE LURE OF THE EH BRUCE BERESFORD It must have been sometime in 1975, on I know that now the EJ and EH Holdens the Pacific Highway at St Leonards. I nearly are much sought after (a quick browse ran off the road when I spotted a 1963 EH on Google revealed they sell for anything in a car yard. I’m not sure why I had always from $20,000 to $35,000), but at that found this model appealing; perhaps it was time this was not the case. I remember a because it vaguely resembled a miniaturised rather furtive salesman looking at me with version of the American cars of the 1950s I curiosity as I walked purposefully around admired. my new purchase, hoping, undoubtedly Around $900 changed hands. It in vain, to give the impression of someone seemed a lot to me at the time, but I had who was not simply an impulse buyer. just signed a contract to direct a film of The exterior two-tone gunmetal grey was David Williamson’s play Don’s Party and profoundly unexciting, but the 1950s was thrilled to be receiving a $10,000 fee American Chrysler-style dashboard and, – though, in retrospect, it was not all that especially, the purple-and-silver vinyl seats spectacular for a year’s work, even in the were a joyous counterpoint. These stretched 1970s. I was, however, intent on establishing gaudily across the front and rear – none of a little critical credibility after the hammering this individual aeroplane seat nonsense with I’d taken with two Barry McKenzie films. headrests that are all the rage these days, a previous spread: the eh premier – new styling, new ‘red’ motor 162 ‘development’ originated, no doubt, by commander, entombed under a cupola with some misogynist, a man deeply unappealing a peephole. The side mirrors on modern to women who resented the thought of cars are a further trap (there were none on attractive girlfriends, or possibly even wives, the EH) as they are aligned with a lethal snuggling up right next to the driver with blind spot, which leads inevitably to minor their right hand resting, arousingly, on his collisions and scrapes, providing plenty of left thigh as he skilfully manoeuvred the EH opportunity to witness otherwise normal through city traffic. people insane with road rage. The next five or six years were a delight. Perhaps the only modern addition The EH was driven all over NSW and meriting my endorsement is the now Victoria with never a hint of a mechanical ubiquitous air-conditioning. I remember problem. In fact, the engine was incredibly a number of EH outback trips in over one simple in comparison with cars built after hundred degrees Fahrenheit (otherwise the year 2000, where there are so many known as thirty-three degrees Celsius – bits and pieces that mechanics need PhDs another unwelcome change) with the only to be able to carry out minor adjustments. faint relief being the air (hot) blowing in from Even then they’d be stuck without access to a small side window that could be angled onto computer diagnostics. the driver. I invariably ignored the screams of A further delight was the exceptional my three children sitting on the back seat as vision from the interior. Huge front and their sweating legs became stuck to the vinyl. rear windows provided perfect views of In 1979 I directed the film Breaker all the other vehicles on the road. Modern Morant to considerable critical acclaim. After cars are a definite step backwards in this twenty-one years in the film industry, I was area. Now, tiny windows give the driver an overnight success. the miniaturised panorama of a WWII tank Despite the critical enthusiasm, BM 163 was ignored by vast audiences worldwide. Best Director. It won two awards: Best Actor I found out recently its box-office takings (Robert Duvall) and Best Screenplay. now total $4 million, a figure it has taken I am now moving rather lugubriously to thirty-four years to reach. My film Double the point of this recap of my film career. The Jeopardy, released in 1999, which never had move to the US to make a film clearly meant a single favourable review, took $26 million I would be leaving the adored EH for some in its opening week. time – for some years as it turned out. I knew In Los Angeles, BM screened for only it would rot away if left in a garage untended two days in a decrepit theatre (now closed) so I managed, after an extensive search on Wilshire Boulevard so I was surprised to without the aid of Google, to find a place on be sent a number of scripts from Hollywood the outskirts of Sydney where the car could executives. It turned out the film was be left in the company of other vehicles. showing as an in-flight movie on the LA– The somewhat feral owners of this property NYC run, so my directorial skills were on assured me the car would be started up display to a captive audience. from time to time, and cobwebs and various From the numerous scripts sent to me (no nesting marsupials would be removed. email in those days) I selected a beautifully Tender Mercies was filmed in 1982, another written drama by the playwright Horton American film followed, and I didn’t return Foote, Tender Mercies. I found out only a to Australia until sometime in 1986. The day couple of years ago that this simple story, after landing I managed to find my way out set in Texas, of a country-and-western singer to the bush-car resting home. The EH looked and his girlfriend had been turned down a bit grimy, but there was no rust and the by a gaggle of American directors – luckily engine started instantly. I drove back to the for me. The film had five Academy Award city, lovingly washed the car, and RE-POed nominations in 1983 including one for me as the glorious two-tone grey duco. (RE-PO was 164 ‘ once again, the eh reliably carted my family and me all over nsw.’ the polish of that time; Google tells me it still by a Canadian producer and having no ‘star’ exists.) I was aware that the cost of a couple names in the cast. Jessica Tandy was a stage of years garaging was considerably more than actress, and Morgan Freeman had previously the value of the car, but … I had it back. only had a supporting role in one film. It Once again, the EH reliably carted surprised everyone, myself included, with my family and me all over NSW. We often nine Academy Award nominations. It won visited my uncle’s farm near Coolah, NSW, four, including Best Picture (1989). where the EH proved to be the master, Despite an improvement in my financial having such high clearance, of the miles of situation, I was not prepared to contemplate pot-holed roads, bush tracks, innumerable returning the EH to the outback farmyard gullies, and even paddocks strewn with logs for abandoned cars. I had, after all, been and rabbit warrens. directing essentially art-house films and not A couple of years later I was off to America the blockbusters that would have ensured again, this time to direct Driving Miss Daisy, the yacht, the house in Elizabeth Bay, and another small-scale drama with, like Tender the holiday villa in St Tropez. Mercies, a cast of only three significant roles. With a lot of hesitation, I acceded to Again, it was predicted that this low-budget my father’s entreaties to leave the car with film would sink without trace. Instead, it him while I was overseas. At least there was rose without trace: being modestly financed a garage at my parents’ house at Kurrajong 165 Heights, about fifty miles (aka eighty the numerous ‘non-serious’ ones as the kilometres) from Sydney, so I wouldn’t fault of other idiots behind the wheel. He be paying out thousands of dollars a year even classed as ‘non-serious’ the time he while in America. The drawback was that drove well over the speed limit the wrong my father was a truly shocking driver and, way down a one-way street and hit another like all terrible drivers, was quite convinced vehicle head on. Amazingly, no one was that he was the sole person on the road who hurt in either car, which he saw as justifying drove well. Ever since a horrific trip to a his assertion of a “minor accident”. boat race at the age of ten – during which His licence had been revoked a number the police had booked him three times of times, but he assured me he had it back for speeding – I refused to travel in a car once again. I actually doubted, and still when he was driving and, some years later, doubt, that this was true, but weakly gave forbade my three children to let him drive in to his ultimate argument that he would them anywhere, no matter how he pleaded. be driving nowhere but three or four miles It was true he was now car-less in up the road – a quiet country road – to the Kurrajong. (My mother, who had died bowling club and back again. Apart from about a year previously, had put her foot an occasional beer, he was not a drinker down about him being behind the wheel of so there was, I knew, little chance that he anything with an engine some time prior to would plunge over a cliff while inebriated.

Load more