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5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW

Hi! I’m Mary Allen, known to many as America’s Inner Peace Coach, author of The Power of Inner Choice and host of Conversations with the Masters. For 17 years now, I’ve had the distinct privilege of coaching high achieving clients including business owners, professionals, moms, and even a couple billionaires. I help people get out of their own way, and transform distracting stressors, achieve their goals and embody their highest selves — and I’m looking forward to supporting YOU through this ebook and audio, “5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW.”

Thank you so much for taking the time to allow me to guide you on your path to exponentially more inner peace as you’re living into your highest potential and creating the best possible life for yourself!

• Would like to feel connected and grounded to your best, most powerful self -- more of the time?

• Do you get frustrated with yourself for feeling stressed, anxious, or reacting to everyday challenges?

• Do you long for more inner peace in your life, but aren’t sure how to take it to a new level?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re in the right place.

Maybe you’re an entrepreneur or business owner, busy mom or professional who is overwhelmed with stress and responsibility.

Maybe you’re a life or business coach, transformational leader, teacher or parent who wants to help others enjoy greater inner calm.

Maybe you’re just curious about how to create more success and inner peace in your life.

Whether you’ve been a student of personal and professional growth for a couple decades or more – or are new to the path — it would be my pleasure to help you along your journey.

Imagine for a minute…

• Ecstatically enjoying every single delicious moment of the day, no matter what the day brings.

• Or basking in a sense of exhilarated aliveness while achieving your goals and living more into your highest potential, in every area of life.

• Imagine having the tools to automatically summon a calm, confident and serene sense of inner peace (any time you choose) whether you’re working or playing.

• Or easily focusing your awareness on living in the present moment while creating far-reaching impact in the areas of life most important to you.

When you embody that elusive balance between your “beingness” and “doingingness,” the balance between the Yin & the Yang, the balance between “Inner Peace” and “Success,” I call it “living in the sweet spot.”

Maybe you’ve already felt what it’s like to live in the sweet spot -- doing something athletic or even watching someone else:

• Skiing down a mogul run at the Olympics. • A surfer riding a wave. • Hitting a tennis or golf ball just the right way.

What about watching someone share their gift, a professional singer like Celine Dion or Elton John, a speaker sharing an inspired message from the stage or watching a well- written movie or show.

Or participating in your own creative flow - writing or journaling, doing something artistic like painting or photography.

With each of these activities there is action AND there is a centered beingness or awareness that is also engaged.

Embodying this elusive balance between inner peace and success is the sweet spot I’m talking about, and it’s a powerful combination for creating your best life! I’d love to support you in enjoying more of it.

So, are you thinking, this is all too good to be true?

Or are you hopeful that I’ve got all the answers for having easy access to inner peace while magically achieving your goals?

Let me say this, I’m not promising you’ll have instant inner peace all the time after you’ve read this ebook or listened to the audio. The reality is finding, keeping and deepening inner peace as you’re living into your highest potential is a process – maybe even a lifelong one.

But, here’s what I feel comfortable promising. If you take the ideas offered in this audio, and put them into practice consistently in your own life, you’ll begin to notice more inner peace is available to you, at will. And you’ll also recognize in the core of your being the symbiotic relationship between success and inner peace.

There is a kind of softening that happens when one commits to expanding inner peace in their lives. But with it, there will be challenges and bumps, even travesties, along the way.

That’s where sticking with the work is most important. But those challenges can truly be tremendous gifts if we use them to transform our lives for the better. And, let’s face it, no matter who you are, we all get tested. Why not use them to propel yourself to another level of happiness and peace?

Today I hope I can inspire you, and get you excited about what’s possible with more inner peace in your life. My mission in life is about helping people find, keep, and deepen inner peace in their lives as they are living more into their highest potential and creating their best life.

I also want you to get to know me, and my work, especially if we haven’t met already, so you’ll know how I can potentially support you.

And I want to give you some concrete actions you can take, starting today, to give you greater access to that powerful place inside of you, known as inner peace.

We’re going to cover the "5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW”

We’ll also talk about…

• Why inner peace is something that deserves your attention.

• Why most people don’t have inner peace.

• We’ll also talk about easy and effective strategies for instantaneous inner peace (no matter what is interfering with it).

I’m going to give you as much as humanly possible today and, I want to let you know, I lead a 5 day retreat on this material, and have an entire suite of audio programs. If you want more support from me, beyond what I’m sharing here, I’ll be pointing to additional resources along the way.

There are a couple additional things I want to share about myself that goes beyond the introduction you heard at the beginning of this audio.

1. I wasn’t always drawn to inner peace. About 14 years ago, one of my girlfriends was on a kick about “making inner peace her #1 goal” and at the time I thought to myself, “inner peace – inner schmese.”

• I didn’t seem to have the time, energy or interest in inner peace. • It seemed boring and it wasn’t a priority, even though I was committed to my personal and spiritual growth. • Then I hit a wall and became incredibly frustrated with my life circumstances. • Had back-to-back relationship break ups. • Was struggling in my business and got present to the $65K of debt I’d accumulated (something I’m not proud of).

• I moved three times in one year. • My self-esteem was at all time low.

All of a sudden inner peace sounded really good. This moment of consciously deciding to make inner peace a focus was a defining moment in my life that I’ll never forget.

Ironically, I spent 3 years really struggling, and doing lots and lots of personal growth work. I found myself in a difficult relationship where I was constantly pushing his buttons, and he was pushing mine.

I thought embracing inner peace would be easier than this.

Then, in the middle of an argument, something finally clicked into place, and I found myself in the sweet spot of inner peace. My boyfriend at the time was so angry and upset, and I was genuinely serene and calm inside – simply observing the dynamics of the conversation and connecting so profoundly to the inner peace within myself. This was another significant moment for me, and a major turning point in my life.

After this, I noticed everything in my life got EASIER.

Out of that inner peace…

• I wrote my first book “The Power of Inner Choice.” • Within 18 months I met my now husband, and we’ve been married almost a decade now and have 2 beautiful children. • Health became the best ever without the struggle it had been previously. • My business took off and I started earning six figures consistently and was able to eliminate $65K of debt within an 8 month period and started rebuilding my savings. • Started leading group coaching programs, Inner Peace Retreats and helping more people. • Life became more enjoyable and fulfilling and it was EASIER to live in the present moment.

And while I was clearly taking inspired action, I really give this newfound sense of inner peace the credit. It provided a strength and the backdrop that allowed everything to flow easier. Even the challenges and bumps now are easier to manage.

I’ve spent the last 10+ years fine-tuning the distinctions to make inner peace possible. There are many paths to inner peace, and we’ll explore several of these in this audio.

-- How to find it? -- How to return to it in moments of challenge? -- How to deepen it?

-- How to create from it?

2) I’m not at peace all the time. The second thing I want you to know about me is I’m not at peace all the time. I hope you’re not disappointed by that fact. I used to believe that if I was teaching inner peace, then I should be experiencing inner peace all the time. Ha! That’s not how life works. The goal of this work is not about ONLY feeling inner peace. But, when I get derailed, the downtime is way shorter, and often times I find myself experiencing a sense of calm in challenging moments that would’ve previously pushed a button.

I’ll also say, knowing how to access inner peace has given me a special kind of confidence during those times I get “pulled under.” I know at the deepest level, I can handle anything, even if it’s challenging in the moment.

The truth is, even with a strong inner peace skill set, life is hard at times, and it’s going to test us. Maybe you’re getting tested right now in some way. I know this is true for so many people right now.

The stressors can be joyful ones like starting a new business or career, having children, or moving into a new home or planning a special event.

Many stressors just happen – caring for elderly parents, raising children or teenagers, layoffs, a life-threatening diagnosis or serious illnesses (for yourself or a loved one), divorce, or making peace with loneliness after the death of a loved one.

Financial pressure is another stressor almost everyone dances with. Some people are struggling to keep up with basic overhead like groceries and a mortgage. But, even my wealthiest clients worry about losing what they have created, and sustaining their lifestyle in an ever changing world.

And when we’re exhausted, sick or not taking care of ourselves – it can make it even more challenging to find inner peace in any moment.

Just naming these stressors can be stressful, right? But, ya know, it’s life – and when we meet them with our eyes wide open, and choose to consciously align with what life is dishing out – we really can access inner peace – even if what’s arising in our lives is not exactly on our bucket list.

The reason I share that I’m not at peace all the time is because I want you to have realistic expectations, and to know I get it. I understand what it is to be human, stressed, overwhelmed and frustrated. Anyone who claims there is some magical point of enlightenment where life is blissful from this point forward isn’t being honest.

It’s super tricky to balance running a business, being the best mom I can be to my twin toddlers, spend quality time with my husband and friends, and manage self-care and sanity.

• There is WAY more to worry about now that I have young children to care for, including their safety, health and future.

• There is way more financial pressure since I’m not working the same number of hours I once did, yet our expenses have gone up.

• There is always something unexpected. All of which tests my inner peace every day.

So, I GET IT!

But, does that mean we should just get swept away in the experience of being human and suffer? Or do we embrace the wisdom, skills and tips to help us navigate life’s journey with greater joy and fulfillment?

I’d like to support you to:

• Find those moments of serenity even if it’s initially in small moments throughout the day – a trip to the bathroom, walking to your mailbox, or consciously breathing at the end of the day. • Run your business or career as you design it, handpicking the projects you embrace and finding your perfect way of making a living and contributing to the world. • Be fully present with your clients, husband, wife, partner or children so you can make every moment count. • And ultimately to set your life up in a way to maximize fulfillment and inner peace in your life, even if it’s always a work in progress.

I know this is possible, because this is what I experience, and it’s what I help my clients do in their lives too! There is a growing population of conscious human beings, like you, who are ready for more inner peace.

So, what is inner peace?

One of my favorite quotes sums it up nicely.

“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” --- Unknown

I believe inner peace and our true inner power are synonymous.

I often use the metaphor of a vacuum cleaner. When it’s plugged into the wall, it has access to a source of power. When it’s not plugged into the wall, it doesn’t work. In any given moment we can assess ourselves. Am I plugged into my power in this moment, or not?

Wikipedia describes inner peace as the emotional state of being, mentally and spiritually at peace with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress. It’s generally associated with bliss, happiness and contentment. That’s how I would describe being connected to our inner power. Generally, this sense of inner peace is largely influenced by external stimulus. Watching a sunset, spending time in nature, relaxing poolside, enjoying a delicious meal or glass of wine, spending time with people who love us – all draw us into inner peace.

In some cultures, inner peace is also considered a state of consciousness or enlightenment that may be cultivated by various forms of training, such as prayer, meditation, Tai Chi, or yoga. Many spiritual practices refer to this peace as an experience of knowing oneself, and what many, many people have discovered is their truest nature is inner peace. Imagine that, who you are at the core is inner peace. It’s true. This sense of inner peace is available to each and every one of us. It’s within us, not outside of us. You may already have a sense of this and just want to access this part of yourself more of the time. If you haven’t, that’s okay too.

When I think of inner peace, I consider both of these – BOTH the emotional state of inner peace and the consciousness of inner peace.

How we’re FEELING in any moment definitely reflects our sense of inner peace. If we’re irritated, stressed or doubting ourselves, it’s an indication that we’re not connected to a state of inner peace. So that’s something we want to pay attention to.

Yet, if we’re fully conscious in a moment of frustration or self-doubt, and simply observing life’s unfolding circumstances from the part of us that is aware and conscious, we can experience the frustration or self-doubt WHILE simultaneously experiencing a genuine sense of inner peace.

I remember one of the first times I experienced this phenomena for myself. I was feeling very angry at the time, and was journaling about it. I asked myself, “I’m angry, is it true?” And the answer that arose was a genuine, “no.” It was almost shocking. In that moment of asking, I was more identified with the part of myself that was AWARE of the anger. That part of me that was aware, is me, and a truer me.

My approach toward inner peace is twofold. We can address the stressors, learning how to shift our emotional state in minutes AND set up our lives in a way to make it easier to experience the state of inner peace.

Simultaneously we strengthen the part of ourselves that is aware, our inner peace headquarters. We all have it. But, most of us are so identified with the part of ourselves

Copyright © 2015 Mary Allen. 7 All rights reserved. www.lifecoachmary.com 5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW that is experiencing life – our thoughts and feelings -- that we neglect the part of ourselves that provides a constant backdrop of inner peace.

Ultimately this combined approach helps us access inner peace in any moment, within ourselves, and at will.

So, why do you want more inner peace? Why does it call to you?

There must be something inside of you that is hungry for more inner peace, or you wouldn’t be reading this ebook or listening to the audio now.

Everything we do in life is motivated by either “pain” or “pleasure,” and that’s also true in the pursuit of inner peace and power.

1. Some people are simply ready to be relieved of the hundreds of stressors plaguing them daily. No one is immune. From minor annoyances to excessive mind chatter, stress, uncertainty (fear, worry, doubt), inability to control emotions, self-judgment and overwhelm. These people are at a tipping point, and are ready to be done with unnecessary pain, annoying distractions and frustrations. They want to even out the really high highs and the dramatic lows. Is this true for you? Are you ready to experience more inner peace because you’re tired of being controlled by reactive emotions? That’s exactly how I felt before I got curious about affecting my inner peace.

2. Maybe you fall into the second group. You’re living a successful and happy life by most people’s standards, yet you long for inner peace because deep down you recognize it as an unrealized potential – truly recognizing who you really are at the core. You long for easy access to your sanctuary of inner peace and power, greater capacity to achieve your goals without getting distracted. You want to access to the flowing benefits inner peace brings including greater health and vitality, more connectedness in loving relationships, and greater access to intuition and creativity. You want to feel calm and focused.

People in this category want to remain young and feel happy. They want to walk through life with a stronger center and a clearer mind. They want to live from their heart, live in the present moment and be fully alive. They want to be unaffected by things that could upset them and be content with life, just the way it is. They want to bring out the best in themselves and others, live their life purpose and have choice in each and every moment. They want the confidence to handle anything life throws their way. They want that sense of exhilarated aliveness. They want to look forward to each unfolding moment and spread it to others.

I know this is why people want inner peace because these are the answers they gave me through a survey recently. And these are the reasons I’m one of many people making inner peace a priority. Are you one of these people too?

The reason I’m asking why you want inner peace is because the path of inner peace is not for the faint of heart. Being mindful of why you want more inner peace comes in handy when life gets tough, and it’s certain it will.

One of the things that keeps me committed to working through the fears, struggle and difficult times that test my inner peace is my desire to help others. I don’t enjoy those painful moments, and Lord knows I still get my share; but I know if I can work through a challenging moment, I can help others do the same.

So are you ready to get out of your own way, own your power and embody your highest self, so you can find and keep inner peace alive? Great, then keep reading.

So if people want more inner peace and power and there are so many benefits -- why don’t people have more?

• People don’t feel they have the time or energy to give it.

• People don’t know how or where to find it within them or maybe they don’t believe it’s possible and remain stuck in a victim mentality.

• They are constantly distracted by everything around them – business, jobs, family, TV, commitments and activities galore, and inner peace is not a big enough priority, at least not yet.

• And they don’t have the tools, knowledge or wisdom to get out of their own way.

As I’ve said before, the good news is inner peace is already within you. I’m going to support you by giving you a set of tools and a system for finding, keeping and deepening inner peace and power in your life, whether you already have access to A LOT of inner peace or not.

But, you will need to take responsibility for your own inner peace. You will have to make it a priority, and give it your attention, so it can be integrated into your life.

So, let’s jump into it! And go through the 5 Keys to having more Inner Peace NOW.

I wanted an easy way to help people remember the 5 core elements needed to maximize inner peace. The 5 core elements spell PEACE. P, E, A, C, E.

I’ll go through each of the elements. I want you to really understand the importance of each element as it relates to inner peace. I’ll give you a chance to assess yourself in each area, and give you action steps to help strengthen each of these 5 keys.

The first key begins with P.

1) PARTNER with Your Inner Peace Place

You must know where to find inner peace in order to access it when you want to experience more of it.

We’ve all had glimpses of inner peace. You may or may not recognize it as such as the moment before we drift off to sleep, relaxing while watching a sunset, or time with a loved one.

On a scale of 1-10, how easy is it for you to find inner peace in a moment of stillness?

Ultimately, I’d like you to confidently say 10, if that isn’t already true for you. If you’ve got easy access to inner peace, I really want to acknowledge you.

If not, that’s okay, it’ll take some practice to do so, but it’s so doable. You just need to know where to look.

Regardless of where you are now, I invite you to practice accessing inner peace in any moment. When you do, inner peace can ultimately become your more predominate state of being – and it’ll be easier to find when you need it most.

To put it simply, inner peace is AWARENESS. You may already be familiar with this part of yourself. I’m not the first person to be talking about it. It’s pretty easy to understand. In any given moment, there is a part of you that is “experiencing” the moment – AND there is a part of yourself that is “observing” the moment unfolding. We could also say there is a part of you that is fully present.

Let’s say you’re driving your car. When we’re living life on autopilot you might safely get from point A to point B – but, you’re kind of checked out. You know those moments. We’ve all had them. Your “observer” was on vacation. You weren’t really present even though your body was going through the motions.

Other times you may be driving your car and fully aware of the beautiful day, the itch on your left toe, and your breath going in and out. Your observer is fully present, as you’re simultaneously aware of how hot or cold you are, where you’re going, and any thoughts or emotions that may be arising.

You can be aware of stress, but check it out… the awareness itself isn’t actually stressed.

You’ll soon discover your observer or awareness is a backdrop of inner peace. And it’s always there if we know to look for it, and you can get good at recognizing it.

One way to strengthen this awareness is by giving it your attention.

When you give it your attention, you’ll begin to create a reservoir of inner peace inside of you, and that will help you better navigate life’s challenges when they arise.

Lots of TV series these days are narrated by one of the character’s stream of consciousness or awareness. The commentary simply describes the thoughts, feelings and situation arising in a neutral and matter of fact way, much like our own awareness. Exciting, sad or confusing, it simply notices “what is” and “names it,” whether we’re reacting to “what is” or going with the flow.

Another way to strengthen awareness and connect to inner peace is our ability to live in the present moment. When we’re present, awareness is engaged and alive.

So many people talk about the value of living in the present moment. When I first read about it years ago, I quickly noticed that I was NOT living in the present moment.

But, I really wanted to get good at it, because it made sense to me. Enjoying each moment more fully sounded attractive to me. Right? So, I created a practice that hundreds of other people have since embraced.

It’s called NOW Practices. A NOW Practice is taking something you do everyday anyway, but you consciously practice being more present during the activity. It’s the practice of being present.

It’s not about doing it 24/7 in a moving dynamic world or adding something new in your life.

I like to encourage people to select 2 NOW Practices.

Let me give you some examples of the more popular NOW Practices people have taken on, including showering, driving, walking the dog, eating, and listening to your spouse.

So, how does this work? Let’s say you’ve selected “showering.”

SHOWERING as a NOW Practice.

There are 5 Keys to Being Present.

1. The first key is to engage the senses. What are you seeing, hearing, tasting, touching or smelling?

• Seeing. The shampoo bottles, tile, colors, shapes. • Hearing. The sound of water falling on you and to the ground. • Tasting. Well, hopefully you do NOT taste soap, but maybe you’re present with a mint taste, if you’ve just brushed your teeth. • Smelling. The soaps, shampoos, the smell of fresh water. • Touching. How it feels to have water washing over you, it’s pressure and temperature warming your body, how it feels to massage your head with shampoo or scrub your arms and legs.

See how much there is to be present to just by engaging the senses?

The second key to being present is: 2) Gratitude. Hot, running water, having a moment to yourself.

The third key to being present is: 3) Connect to your body. Feel your feet standing on the tile. Feel your body in the experience of a shower.

The fourth key is: 4) Connect outside your body. Unlike meditation, a NOW practice is actively engaged with the outside world. Just be aware and present to your surroundings.

The fifth and final key is: 5) Embrace reality. Simply put, this means you’re not wishing you were doing anything other that “taking a shower” and all it involves.

Clients and students who do this over time find themselves naturally becoming more present over time. They experience it like an active meditation. And it’s something anyone can do! It can transform mundane activities into a rich and alive experience.

ASSIGNMENTS

• If you’re serious about experiencing more inner peace, adopt 2 NOW Practices and commit to them for 30 days. It’ll change your life!

• I also invite you to consciously relax into awareness as much as you can remember to. Aim for at least 3-5 minutes each day.

• Commit to it! Given inner peace, awareness, the present moment your attention. This is where your inner peace headquarters lives, and it’s available to you, any time you choose it.

RESOURCES

If you’re struggling to find that place of inner peace, check out my 5 Minutes to Inner Peace audio in my store www.lifecoachmary.com. It is taken from a series of live events I did, and I’ll guide you into an experience of inner peace as I’ve done for hundreds.

Also, you can find more information about NOW Practices in my book Power of Inner Choice and on the audio series Secrets to Profound Peace and Soaring Success.

Let’s move to the second inner peace component. It’s the first E in PEACE.

2. EXPEDITE Your Return to Inner Peace In Any Moment.

Most of us don’t live in a utopian world where we simply bliss out all day. Inevitably life is going to test us. But, when inner peace is intact, we have clearer thinking and it’s easier to empathize with others. We create more options and have fewer regrets.

On a scale of 1-10, how easy is it for you to find inner peace in a moment of CHALLENGE, FRUSTRATION or REACTION? Most find it HARDER!

There are literally dozens of ways to return to inner peace and I talk about them in detail at my 5 day Inner Peace Immersion Retreat where you get a chance to really integrate these strategies so they become second nature. I also go into more detail about these on the Inner Peace Infusion Retreat Home Study CD’s and MP3’s. You can learn more about these on my website www.lifecoachmary.com.

But, don’t worry, I am going to share a few of my favorite inner peace strategies now.

First, let me talk about two things you’ll need to return to inner peace in any moment.

• The first is Awareness. Recognizing when you’re not at peace is the first step in getting out of your own way. Sometimes, just becoming aware of your power slipping away is enough to bring you back, depending on the situation.

• The second is Willingness. Our willingness is our ability to make new choices in any moment. As simple as this is, it can be challenging at times! When we’re not in our power, usually the reactive ego is! And the reactive ego loves drama, misery and being a victim. But the more you flex the muscle of willingness, the easier it gets.

So, let’s get into those Inner Peace Strategies:

1. BREATHING. The first is a simple breathing technique I learned this strategy at the top of a 30-foot trapeze platform. One of my friends thought it would be fun to fly on the trapeze. I would climb the ladder, and inevitably, at the top of the platform, my legs would be shaking uncontrollably. I already had a passion for finding inner peace in any moment, but could not mind over matter it. After the third time up, the instructor could see I wanted to find my calm and stop my legs from shaking. He said, “Take a DEEP breath in and HOLD 1, 2, 3, 4 and exhale as you drop your shoulders.” He guided me through this breathing exercise again, “Take a DEEP breath in – and HOLD 1, 2, 3, 4 and exhale – dropping your shoulders.” Within seconds, I found myself breathing as calmly on the 30-foot high platform as I was on the ground.

Since then, I’ve used and taught this simple exercise countless times. I’ve shared this tip on social media for years, and it’s one of the quickest and most effective ways to return to your center in minutes or seconds. Pay attention to your breathing. When we’re stressed we have an unconscious tendency to hold our breath. Just being mindful of how easily you’re breathing or not, as the case may be, can make a big difference in your sense of

The second strategy is to… 2. Question your thinking. A good friend, who is one of the most together people I know, called the other day and admitted she’d been having anxiety attacks. It’s more common than we’d think! She remembered I was an inner peace coach and asked for support. My first question to her was, “What are you believing in the moment right before you have an anxiety attack? And what are you believe during the anxiety attack?

This is one of the first questions I ask any client who is stuck, afraid to take action, or battling depression. Our thoughts are always influencing our emotional state.

When we believe our thoughts, it becomes our reality -- physically, mentally and emotionally, even if it’s not the real truth. It rarely is.

Sometimes the angst of thoughts serves us by nudging us in a different direction. They say, “Not now.” Or, “This path isn’t right for me anymore.” Or, “This doesn’t align with my values and integrity.”

But more often, our thoughts are the source of our angst and suffering. We believe, something that diametrically opposes the reality that is unfolding something should be different” than it is.

• My husband should have called (and he didn’t.) • My children shouldn’t be whining (and they are.) • My friend shouldn’t be late (but she is). • I should have gotten everything on my task list done today (but I didn’t).

Sometimes the thoughts are judgments about ourselves. “I can’t do it. I’m not good enough. I won’t follow through.” Hmmmm. Is that true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Just because you haven’t yet, doesn’t mean you can’t.

We can challenge the truth of our thoughts by asking questions. Is it true? I can’t do it? Is it true? I’m not good enough? Is it true I won’t follow through? We can begin to notice that when we believe our thoughts, it runs us. And when we let go of those thoughts or focus elsewhere, our power is intact.

I’m a lover of truth. When you look for it, you’ll find it.

One of the tools I created to help identify truth is my Inner Peace Reality Check. Essentially, it’s a tool to help you shift your perspective. I’ll talk more about this later.

In the meantime, get curious about the thoughts you’re believing, and question them.

The third strategy for finding inner peace in any moment is…

3. Get into motion. One of the other quickest ways to change your emotional state is through movement of some kind. The reason this is so effective has a lot to do with your breath. When you get up from your desk and go for a quick walk or get a drink of water – your breathing automatically changes. When our breath changes, the emotions change. Stretching like yoga, working out or doing 25 jumping jacks all help us reset our breathing. The next time you’re feeling tense, try it. And be mindful of your breath in the process. Eating also changes our breathing. But if we’re unconscious, we can just keep eating and eating and eating, all in an attempt to change our emotional state. So I’m not recommending eating as a path back to inner peace. I am recommending going for a walk, stretching or getting a glass of water.

The fourth and final strategy I’m going to share here today to expedite your return to inner peace in any moment is… 4. Authentic self-expression. One of my favorite inner peace tips is about authentic self- expression. When we’re feeling tense, confused or frustrated with life, the simple act of expressing that frustration to a friend, spouse or journal can be SO cathartic, especially when the listener hears it from a place of kindness and compassion.

It’s one of the reasons social media is so popular these days. When we’re feeling frustrated, and express it authentically on Facebook or Twitter, many people notice a relief, just by getting it out. Here’s why. When we share or write out our feelings, it almost forces us to “feel the feelings” behind the situation. And it’s IN the feeling of the feelings that we get the relief to return back to inner peace.

However, if we’re expressing something to stay attached to our viewpoint, then I’m sorry to say, you’re more likely to keep experiencing the negative feelings that go with it. It’s more useful to say something with the intention to release it and to express it, instead of keeping it trapped within you. Often times, the situation that triggered the emotional reaction can be released quickly.

Having an experienced coach, spouse or friend who is a great listener, or a Facebook community who can “hear” you – without judgment – can be a beautiful way to allow feelings to pass through you.

I’m grateful for my community on Facebook. Especially when my twins were infants, and even now that they are toddlers, there have been so many challenging moments. Just articulating what’s going on, is often enough for me to move on. Or other perspectives are offered that shift my perspective and thoughts.

Each strategy has its place. These are just a few of the strategies I talk about on my Inner Peace Infusion Retreat CD’s and at my live Inner Peace Immersion Retreat.

The other powerful tool I already mentioned are the 6 questions in my Inner Peace Reality Check Process. This is what I recommend when clients find themselves in an emotional traffic jam, and simpler strategies aren’t doing the trick. I talk about how you

ASSIGNMENT

The next time you’re feeling tense remember your breath, take a look at the thoughts you’re believing in and challenge them, get yourself moving or authentically express yourself – all with the intention of returning to your inner peace. Each of these strategies takes practice, but over time, you’ll see how simple and effective they are at helping you find inner peace in any moment.

Let’s move to the third inner peace component. It’s the A in PEACE.

But let’s do a quick review of what we’ve covered so far.

1) PARTNER with Your Inner Peace Place. 2) EXPEDITE Your Return to Inner Peace in Any Moment.

3) ACTIVELY Keep Inner Peace Alive.

We can know where inner peace lives within us, we can master strategies for returning to inner peace, but unless we master this third key, you’re going to eventually grow frustrated and exhausted because you’ll need to be reaching for inner peace tips all day long, trying to manipulate your emotions, if your life isn’t set up in a way to make it more conducive for inner peace to thrive. I’d like to encourage you to set your life up to be easier.

The A is for Actively Keeping Inner Peace Alive.

This inner peace key is all about having the right:

1. Practices or habits to support your optimal flow.

2. It’s about having your environment set up in a way to make it easier and more natural to experience inner peace. Organized. Simplified. The right systems. Makes sense, doesn’t it? When you have great systems, life flows easier.

3. This key is also about your relationship with yourself and others. Self-love and having boundaries makes it easier to get your needs met and experience inner peace. Boundaries are about being clear about what people can and can’t do around you. What you say “yes” and “no” to.

When you have a strong foundation of habits, you’ll still get tested by life, but you’ll minimize unnecessary drama, suffering and frustration.

And the reality is, if you don’t have that strong foundation of habits and then find yourself feeling maxed out with stress. When challenges arise, you’ll respond poorly,

Copyright © 2015 Mary Allen. 16 All rights reserved. www.lifecoachmary.com 5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW and you’ll be constantly taken along for the ride, which is how most people live their lives. And you’ll likely forget the strategies that can help you most.

One of the first places to begin is Practices or Daily Habits.

What do you do to keep yourself nourished and supported to live your best life while maximizing your inner calm on a daily, weekly or monthly basis? Are you doing enough? What’s missing?

Examples of Practices and Daily Habits:

• Meditating may be the most popular practice when it comes to supporting one’s inner peace. Taking 10-30 minutes once or twice a day is a powerful practice. It has also been scientifically proven to change brain waves. Long-term meditators literally have more, alpha waves. This is what’s associated with relaxation, reflection and inner peace.

• Reading something inspiring or journaling are also popular practices.

• Taking time to plan the day or week to sharpen your focus and allow the mind to let go of competing priorities.

Here are a few of my own practices…

• Good nutrition. I typically have a veggie smoothie each morning, vitamins and water. When I don’t get my veggie smoothie, I feel it. On the contrary, when I eat certain foods like sugar or heavy carbs, I notice its affect. So it’s both what I eat and what I don’t eat that serves my inner peace.

• Sleep. I aim for 8 hours because I know I’m at my best with this much sleep, allowing me to keep up with my business and toddlers. And wow, do I notice it, when my sleep is compromised.

• Quality time with husband. Date nights, talks on the couch, Jacuzzi time, or relaxing on the patio after kids to bed.

• Perhaps the biggest one is quality time for self. This is all about doing something you love that supports your well-being. This is particularly important if you’re running a business or have projects, babies or kids consuming large parts of your life. It’s also the easiest one to neglect.

For me – here’s what helps:

- Yoga. Ideally, 2-3 times a week. - Massage 1-2x’s a month. - Taking time to get my hair and nails done.

- Ideally I’d add cardio and weight lifting to the list.

You probably have some ideas of what you COULD do. Maybe you feel like me, that all this sounds great, but…

• You don’t always have the time or energy for them. • You don’t believe they’ll really make THAT big of a difference. • You don’t want to be selfish, and take time away from work or family or friends.

My most successful and happy clients make these daily habits a priority. And when life gets busier, they go back to the basics. They make their “things” as important as a meeting with a client. And it pays dividends, especially over time, in the form of increased energy, decreased stress and a feeling of well being.

It’s SELFISH to ignore your needs. I want you to really hear this, so you can give yourself permission to embrace the right set of daily habits for yourself. It’s selfish to ignore your needs.

Here’s why. If you’re running on fumes:

• It’s hard to impossible to be fully present with clients, loved ones or kids.

• You tend to be grumpier and moodier. Yeah, others can put up with it, but you know you feel better about you when you’re at your best.

• You’ll be more stressed, decreasing your immune system, accelerating aging, agitating relationships, increasing diabetes and disease, making it harder to sleep.

• And when you’re stressed and running on fumes, it’s fertile ground for more mind chatter.

I’ve been there.

• ½ hour more of tackling to-do’s or mustering the energy to hop on the exercise bike, treadmill or elliptical?

• One more hour of delicious sleep and snuggling in your sheets or getting up to savor 30 minutes of meditation or quiet time.

• Mindless TV vs. an inspiring book.

Daily habits are not something you do once in awhile, like a vacation.

It’s more like brushing your teeth. You can’t just do it once a month or once a week. You need to do it daily, ideally twice. And it needs to be ongoing. If you had a great habit of brushing your teeth for 30 years, and then suddenly stopped, it wouldn’t take long to feel

Copyright © 2015 Mary Allen. 18 All rights reserved. www.lifecoachmary.com 5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW the consequences. If you really want to enjoy more inner peace, it’s important to embrace daily habits consistently, just as it’s essential to “brush your teeth” consistently for optimal dental health.

Most of us can’t just name 10 habits and magically start doing them all. But, I want to invite you to brainstorm 10 daily habits. Then pick one to commit to this week. Get that integrated into your life. Get the support of a coach or a friend. Once you’ve got one habit down, add the next, and the next — until you ultimately have the right flow for yourself. You’ll tweak and adjust along the way.

I’m always tweaking and adjusting my own based on the commitments and time available in my life. With it comes…

BENEFITS of Practices and Daily Habits:

• More energy, health, fitness and joy. • More availability to connect and respond. • More creative juices and access to intuition.

RESOURCES

I’d love to point you to my audio series called Secrets to Profound Peace and Soaring Success where I talk a lot about Daily Habits, Systems and Boundaries so you can make it easier for yourself to experience inner peace on a consistent basis.

Let’s move to the fourth inner peace component. It’s the C in PEACE.

Let’s do another quick review. 1) The P in PEACE is Partner With Your Inner Peace Place. 2) The E is Expedite Your Return to Inner Peace In Any Moment. 3) The A is Actively Keep Inner Peace Alive.

The fourth key is the C. 4. CREATE Your BEST LIFE from Inner Peace

We can know where inner peace is, we can know how to return to inner peace in any moment, we can have a strong foundation of inner peace with nourishing daily habits, systems and boundaries – and still we can feel something is “off” or “nagging” at us.

Most of the teachers helping their students’ access more inner peace, are not into setting goals. It’s more about “accepting what is” and not trying to create something new. There is a natural tension in the pursuit of goals. And trying to find a sense of inner peace in pursuit of our goals by striving and striving is not how we’ll ever achieve inner peace. But does that mean we shouldn’t have goals? I don’t think so.

On the flipside, most of the teachers and coaches helping students achieve more success,

Copyright © 2015 Mary Allen. 19 All rights reserved. www.lifecoachmary.com 5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW aren’t concerned with your inner well-being. It’s often a sacrifice everything to the bone mentality, or you may end up compromising your values and integrity along the way.

My approach is unique because I believe in the symbiotic relationship between success and inner peace. It’s about combining the yin and yang in life. The yin is the inner peace or beingness within yourself. (Breathe.) The yang is the active, expressive part of yourself that creates and achieves. When you can leverage the best of yin or your beingness, with the best of the yang and action piece – I call it “living in the sweet spot.” I also refer to at times as “living in the heart of the paradox” because often we think success and inner peace are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

When we’re creating from inner peace, there is a different force that moves through us than simply desire. It’s something bigger than ourselves, and in service for more than ourselves. It’s as though something is moving through us, using us as a vessel to accomplish something bigger than us. That’s different than just accumulating a lot of money for the sake of money. But, don’t assume that people who are earning lots of money aren’t also being guided by the sense of inner peace. Many of them are!

This is also a good time to talk about a big misunderstanding about the pursuit of happiness. In the classical definition, Aristotle talked about happiness as “doing what you were meant to do.” The constitution of the United States was originally designed on this principle, though most people think of “the right to pursue happiness” as “the right to making money and having material success.” What our founding fathers really had in mind was giving people the right and freedom to exercise their talents and abilities in pursuit of what each person feels called to do. When you’re doing what you were meant to do, that is what has you feel happy and alive. When we’re not living into this potential, it’s painful.

I remember when one of my favorite clients came to me. He already had a very successful accounting practice, was married to his soulmate, and well respected in his community. But, he knew he wasn’t living into his full potential. Through our coaching, and his dedication, he discovered how he could embrace a steady stream of inner peace throughout tax season (naturally his most stressful time of year), he took his health at 50 to a new level, wrote two books and started giving scholarships to students. He also made new choices in his business, letting go of clients that weren’t ideal, and has doubled his business while enjoying it more than ever. How many tax accountants do you know who say they have the best job on the planet?

This is exactly what’s at the core of this component “creating your best life from inner peace.” When you’re connected to your inner peace, you have greater access to your inner guidance and can listen to your calling, and it shapes your success.

Imagine being stressed out or afraid of failing, how does that shape your best life? You probably know people who live their lives out of a perpetual stream of stress and fear.

But, when you’re connected to inner peace and an inspired focus -- creativity,

Copyright © 2015 Mary Allen. 20 All rights reserved. www.lifecoachmary.com 5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW productivity, and effectiveness are high. When inner peace is high, you naturally attract relationships to help you thrive. When you’re connected to inner peace, you’re more likely to have the health and energy to live into your highest calling.

Everything comes from inner peace.

Most people don’t believe BOTH are possible, and lean on one more than the other, sabotaging their deepest inner peace and highest potential. Pursuing success without inner peace leads to burn out, always grasping for more and never fully able to enjoy life. The resulting stress, overwhelm and anxiety negatively impacts health, well-being and relationships.

Focusing on inner peace without living into your true potential often results in a struggle to provide financially for yourself or your family, maybe even becoming a burden to others, settling for less than you desire or neglecting your higher calling.

Embodying both success and inner peace challenges us to higher levels of consciousness and results in living into our highest potential of freedom, flow and fulfillment. It also fuels life purpose and your greatest contribution to the world.

On a scale of 1-10 are you living your best life? Think about that for a minute. Are you pursuing the things in life that make you happy? Are you in tune with your calling?

Whether you already have a fulfilling career, amazing relationships and optimal health or are struggling in one or more of these areas, our lives are always unfolding. Creating our best life can change and evolve each month and each year.

What is your deepest longing now? Your goals? What’s next for you?

Everyone has a dream or vision. You can shape your future.

What gets in the way of creating your best life?

• Time, energy and too many distractions? • Lacking clarity, vision and strategy? • Standing in your own way?

If you remember, these are the same culprits that get in the way of inner peace.

There are several steps to creating your best life from inner peace. Here are a few to get started.

1. Take an honest inventory of where you’re at. 2. Take an honest inventory of what’s important to you. 3. Get clear. Clarity is power. Allow yourself to create a vision.

One of the best years of my life started when I was at a retreat in Hawaii, and decided to take a couple extra days at the end of it, to clarify my goals and vision for the coming year. The retreat helped me get in a beautiful place of inner peace. Okay, it also helped I was in relaxing Hawaii. From that space, I started describing in detail what I wanted each area of my life to look like. I got clear. I articulated it on paper. I got connected to that vision. That year I found the coaching industry, met my husband, and created the body and health I desired.

There is certainly a lot to creating your best life from inner peace. There are two programs I’d like to point you to if you’d like additional support.

• Awakening Beyond Achievement. Taken from one of my live day-long events about creating and sustaining success and inner peace. • Secrets to Profound Peace and Soaring Success. 24 CD’s or MP3’s taken from a popular yearlong group coaching program I lead for years.

Please check both of these out at www.lifecoachmary.com.

Let’s move to the fifth and final inner peace component. It’s the final E in PEACE.

Let’s review. 1) PARTNER With Your Inner Peace Place. 2) EXPEDITE Your Return to Inner Peace In Any Moment 3) ACTIVELY Keep Inner Peace Alive. 4) CREATE Your Best Life From Inner Peace.

You can know where inner peace is, you can know how to return to inner peace in any moment, you can have a strong foundation of inner peace with nourishing daily habits and systems, and you can be in tune with your calling and potential, but if you ignore key #5, you’ll inadvertently stand in your own way and limit your success and inner peace. Maybe you’ll even blame others along the way. This key affects each of the four keys we’ve already discussed. The key begins with E.

5. ELIMINATE and Evolve Past Your Inner Peace Stressors.

This key is essentially about personal and spiritual growth and development.

The JUICIEST WORK lies here. The HARDEST work lies here. A lot like running a business or having children, there is always a new phase or challenge to work through. And yes, it often sucks when you’re in it -- stressed, stuck or reacting -- but the rewards that come by working through them EVENTUALLY lead to more access inner peace, even if there is pain along the way.

The next time you’re in it, I want you to get excited about it. You can’t transform something unless it’s alive. It simply means something isn’t working the way it is, and there is an opportunity to CHANGE!

Hopefully you’ve already discovered the exhilaration of a breakthrough or light bulb moment. It’s part of what keeps people on a path of personal or spiritual growth. You probably already know, when you get these insights it’s incredibly liberating and joyous! I’d love to be a resource for you, challenging you to new levels of growth, support you in having lots of light bulb moments, and with it, new levels of success and inner peace.

There are many kinds of inner peace stressors that can clog up your ability to experience inner peace and live into your highest potential. I break them up into a couple different categories.

1. Some stressors you can ELIMINATE completely, and others you’ll need to EVOLVE through – maybe even for a lifetime.

What’s an example of something you can ELIMINATE? In coaching, there is something we refer to as tolerations. A “toleration” is something you’ve been putting up with, putting off or not dealing with — that drains your energy. It could be as simple as a button missing off your favorite shirt, a cluttered desk, or thank you cards you’ve been meaning to send. When that “something” isn’t handled, just thinking about it zaps your already depleted energy.

Some “tolerations” are small and can be handled quickly, but they get put off because they’re not necessarily urgent. Procrastination is the breeding ground of “tolerations.” The longer a “pesky little task” is “not handled,” the more energy and inner peace is potentially drained.

Writing them down is the first step in addressing these energy vampires and freeing up precious energy and inner peace. Tolerations come in all shapes and sizes. Let me give you some examples. Clutter and organization is a big one. Piles of paper on your deck, overstuffed closets or messy garages. Something needing fixing, such as the A/C in your car. Maintenance items like getting the oil changed in the car or replacing a light bulb. Maybe an unfinished project or lingering to-do, like finishing a presentation or remodeling the bathroom. I talk about 9 different types of tolerations and how to tackle them in one of the 24 audios in my Secrets to Profound Peace and Soaring Success program. Many of my coaching clients have told me that eliminating a few tolerations each week, over time, was one of the most significant things that has dramatically transformed their lives for the better.

“Tolerations” are an example of a stressor that can be eliminated.

2. There are other stressors that are bigger than just getting a drawer organized or tackling a lingering to-do. So instead of trying to eliminate the stressor, the goal is to EVOLVE through it. Our self-confidence or sense of worthiness is a good example. Almost every human being struggles with his or her sense of worthiness to one degree or another. Spiritual awakening or expanding our consciousness may be another great example of an area that can continually evolve with attention. Our relationships are another. Each of these examples are less about arriving at a specific endpoint, and more

Copyright © 2015 Mary Allen. 23 All rights reserved. www.lifecoachmary.com 5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW about continuing to deepen, grow and evolve to new levels. The work for the most part in these examples is focused inward – shifting our perspectives, embracing our strengths, challenging ourselves to become more and more aware. And working together with others whose ideas and beliefs may be different than us.

Over time, we can become more and more authentically self-confident. We can continually expand and deepen our consciousness. And we can continually work on improving our relationships.

3. Another way we can categorize stressors is whether they are triggered EXTERNALLY vs. INTERNALLY.

EXTERNAL stressors have a physical component and are generally outside of you. It could be a “toleration,” a relationship challenge, disorganized environment or something physical like weight or having a disease like diabetes. I put weight in the “external stressors” category because weight can be measured. If you eat less and exercise more, you’ll lose weight. If you have diabetes, physically, you can adjust your eating habits or take insulin, and in some cases, no longer need insulin to balance blood sugar.

INTERNAL stressors relate to the mind and emotions. Excessive mind chatter or limiting thoughts and beliefs that keep you stuck are examples. Also, a negative relationship with yourself or a poor sense of self-worth or confidence can be internal stressors.

So we just talked about 4 different categories of stressors.

1. Those we can ELIMINATE. 2. Those we can EVOLVE through. 3. EXTERNAL stressors and 4. INTERNAL stressors.

So what can we do to address these?

The personal growth and development industry supports people on countless topics relating to all kinds of stressors interfering with our purest and deepest sense of inner peace and potential. It’s one of the best times in history if you want to grow and evolve into your best self because there are so many bodies of work to support your evolution and growth. Let me share some of the topics people work on to eliminate or evolve through inner peace stressors, which is what this fifth key is all about. See which ones you’d like to address:

! The work on yourself. Getting out of your own way. Learning to dance with your Inner critic and calm distracting mind chatter.

! Learning how to manage or embrace emotions, including fear, anxiety, anger, depression, loneliness, overwhelm, self-doubt and uncertainty.

! Cultivating a sense of discipline and follow through while embracing your strengths and confidence consistently.

! Understanding and embracing your shadow, otherwise known as your humanity.

! Questioning your thoughts and transforming limiting beliefs instead of letting them run your life.

! Mastering money and financial issues, which can be both external (strategy) and internal (mindset around money.)

! Setting up systems to be more productive, organized and efficient.

! Navigating relationship challenges with grace.

! Issues related to self-love and acceptance.

! Learning how to create boundaries instead of letting others demands rule your world.

! Forgiving people who’ve betrayed or hurt you in some way.

! Health issues including losing weight, gaining weight, getting fit or managing an illness.

! Learning how to manage the 24 hours of time you get each day without overcommitting or overwhelming yourself.

! Discovering how you can “be” with just about anything and still find your calm center in the middle of it all.

At first glance it might seem that everyone would LOVE to address each and every one of these issues or stressors I just named here. How about you?

But, we’ve all heard the saying, “People don’t change.” I don’t necessarily believe that, because I’ve seen too many people make real and lasting changes in every one of the areas above. But, the saying is almost true.

So, why don’t most people change and evolve and grow? What gets in the way of people addressing these issues? Especially, since there are so many resources available today to help us.

We can go back to the same set of excuses we named previously.

• Not enough time or energy.

• Lacking clarity, vision or the strategies to change, grow or evolve because there are too many distractions. Maybe you’re too overwhelmed by the number of things that could use your attention. • And finally, getting ourselves, namely the ego, out of the way.

What are the biggest obstacles in the way of your inner peace and highest potential? Stop and take a moment, and see if you can pinpoint it. I know that could be a big question, but sit with it.

See if you can name the 3 biggest things standing in the way of your inner peace and potential.

1. Identifying the obstacles is the first step in eliminating or evolving through your inner peace stressors. AWARENESS is always the first step, as we’ve seen throughout the 5 inner peace components. Awareness helps us find inner peace. Awareness helps us recognize when we’re not at peace. Awareness helps us identify what’s needed to make it easier to experience inner peace. Awareness helps us clarify what’s most important to us. And awareness helps us hone in on the issues and challenges keeping us stuck.

But, people often stop here. What can you do beyond identifying the challenges? That’s the easier part.

2. Next is FOCUS. Pick ONE thing to focus on. I remember different phases in my own life. I remember I ignored my finances for years, then it became the focus. There are times when relationships have gotten a large focus. And there are distinct periods where my inner peace got a lot of focused attention. Each time, the focus paid off.

3. The next step is WILLINGNESS, which is the same ingredient needed to find new depths of inner peace, to apply a tip or technique to return to inner peace, to follow through on the daily habits that can make it easier to keep inner peace alive and willingness to honor the inner guidance in pursuing our happiness and creating our best life.

We need to become AWARE, FOCUS and be WILLING to eliminate or evolve through our inner peace stressors. That may mean following through on what you know needs to be done. That may mean getting help and support.

STORY: Over the years I’ve had numerous key shifts that have dramatically impacted my ability to experience more inner peace. Perhaps the biggest was with a guy I dated for a short time.

He kept telling me “You’re making stuff up.” At first I thought, “What are you talking about, that’s not true at all! I’m NOT making stuff up!” I was defensive and angry. But, after I’d heard this numerous times, I had a light bulb moment and finally understood what the heck he was talking about.

I was “making stuff up” every time I attached a meaning or interpretation to this person’s action or non-action without investigating the “made up” thought. I didn’t even realize I was doing this!

He wouldn’t call me for days, and I would say something like “You don’t really care.” Or “I’m not important to you.” Sounds reasonable enough, right? We’ve all watched enough TV and movies to know that sometimes in the absence of information horrible things happen. They stopped loving us, we’re no longer important in their life, they’re secretly upset with you, torturing you purposely, or worse yet they fell in love with someone else.

I was “making stuff up” all the time! And didn’t even know it!

This AWARENESS or recognition is the first step in being able to recognize reality for what it is, and what it isn’t.

Your relationship with reality is key to your inner peace.

“When we attach to a thought that is not grounded in reality, we are literally giving ourselves a “head-trip” and creating “stress” in our lives for no good reason.”

For the most part “making stuff up” is ludicrous, and only creates drama and siphons off our inner peace and energy. Not to pick on women, but I believe our gender tends to “make up” that we’re “not loved” or “no longer important,” more quickly and often than men do. Although I’ve known men to “make stuff up” too. Maybe you’ve experienced this phenomenon both ways. It can be frustrating when you do something, seemingly innocent, that someone else interprets as hurtful. I remember being at a concert in the park with friends, and one of the gals there was with her new baby, maybe a year old or so. I didn’t know her that well, and wanted to get to know her more since it seemed we had quite a few things in common. She seemed so consumed by her toddler, it was difficult to have much of a conversation. I left the evening with a lot of judgment about how inaccessible she was. It wasn’t until I had my own twins, maybe 4-5 years later, when I finally understood. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to connect or wasn’t interested in becoming friends. She was just doing what it takes to care for a little one. Busted!

Often times, reality is NOT what we want it to be. And before you know it, we’ve added our story or interpretation onto reality, leaving us with an emotional charge we can’t shake. It’s really what’s at the core of almost all drama.

Someone doesn’t do or say what we’d like in the moment. Our bank accounts have less than we desire. We don’t like being responsible. We don’t weigh what we’d like. We don’t like how we’re feeling in the moment.

The truth is reality is almost always kinder than the story we tell about it. And the

Copyright © 2015 Mary Allen. 27 All rights reserved. www.lifecoachmary.com 5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW quicker we can acknowledge reality simply as it is – without judging it as good or bad, right or wrong, fair or unfair – the more clearly we’ll see the world. We may not like what we see, but if you see reality without a story, you may notice your inner peace staying intact. And you’ll be more resourceful in addressing the person or challenge in front of you.

When we’re fighting reality, I sometimes refer to it as a “temper tantrum with reality.” Not much different than a children’s temper tantrum, although often quieter. This is one way many people get in the way of their inner peace.

We want to start by simply recognizing reality for what it is before we start making up a story about what something means.

We may or may not like being responsible, but when we’re not responsible, there are sometimes consequences in reality.

• Our bank accounts are what they are, in this moment. Life is dynamic. There are many ways our bank accounts can grow if we’re willing to get creative and resourceful.

• Our weight is what it is. Each day we can make new choices about what to eat, or how much to exercise or not.

• How are you feeling in this moment? Happy. Sad. Inspired. Recognizing “what is,” is the first step. If I don’t have a story about it, I can simply “be with what is,” whether it’s a positive or seemingly negative emotion. I notice I’m sad. I breathe into it. I might get curious about it. I could love myself in this human experience. Maybe I’ll reach for support. Maybe I’ll journal. Maybe I just need a good cry.

If I make up a story about the sadness, I might judge it as wrong. Or I’m weak. My life isn’t working right. I’m a failure. No one loves me. I’m alone.

See the difference?

One of the tools I created to help people recognize reality for what it is, and identify the options available to take in any moment is my six simple questions to transform overwhelm, frustration or turmoil in minutes. It’s called the INNER PEACE REALITY CHECK

It’s particularly helpful to use when you’re in an emotional traffic jam, stuck or you just want some fresh momentum.

I go through these six questions in several of my audio programs, so I’m not going to do it here. But, if you’re wanting a simple process to navigate sticky moments, and find inner peace in any moment, then you may want to purchase the Essential Foundations for Inner Peace package, which includes 2 CD’s where I go through these six questions

Copyright © 2015 Mary Allen. 28 All rights reserved. www.lifecoachmary.com 5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW in detail, and you get a PDF of the questions. The Essential Foundations for Inner Peace package also includes a copy of my book, The Power of Inner Choice. And it’s only $29.

I also talk about the Inner Peace Reality Check process in Secrets to Profound Peace and Soaring Success, and the Inner Peace Infusion Retreat Home Study Program, which I’ve mentioned previously.

ASSIGNMENT

Here’s an exercise for you. Start looking at reality BEFORE you add meaning or story to it. It’s a great practice. You might notice something missing, and think, “someone took it!” But, the reality is, “you simply haven’t found X” yet. Oftentimes, as soon as I let go of the story that involves blaming my husband or one of my toddlers for moving my keys, I remember where I put them.

Remember this fifth key in the PEACE model “Eliminating and Evolving Through Your Inner Peace Stressors” is a big key. Start with ONE inner peace stressor at first. Take them one by one. Maybe you start by looking at the thoughts you’re buying into around a current challenge. Or make a commitment to love yourself. Or embrace some solid self-care practices as we talked about in Key #3. Or you could look at an area of your life that needs to be addressed like “time management,” or “eliminating tolerations in your life” or “getting your home or work environment organized.”

My BEST TIP is GET SUPPORT!! Coaching, counseling, a good book, audio program or group coaching program can help tremendously! Make a commitment to yourself to get out of your own way and free up precious energy, and commit to eliminating or evolving through the stressors and blocks in your life.

I remember filling out an assessment when I started coaching about 17 years ago. It was almost embarrassing to see how many unchecked boxes there were. But, through the years, with the guidance and support of coaches, I’ve chipped away at it, and that same assessment now mostly has checked boxes. More than the checked boxes is a sense of power and control over my life, and a knowing inside me that I can shape it. I can improve it. I can become more and more whole in my humanity. I’ve done this by focusing on each area that needs attention, ONE at a time.

We’ve covered a lot in this ebook. Please feel free to read it again and again, to take it all in. You can also listen (or re-listen) to the audio “5 Keys to Inner Peace NOW” by downloading the MP3 for free at www.lifecoachmary.com. Some of the audios that have shaped my life the most, I’ve listened to as many as 7-8 times.

I hope this is the beginning of a long relationship together.

This is what I’d like to help you master over time…

• To know without a shadow of a doubt, where inner peace is within yourself, and have the confidence to return to inner peace in any moment regardless of circumstance.

• To strengthen your calm inner core so you can access your intuition, creativity, and inner guidance AND have greater focus and productivity. I want you to know you can handle any challenge, conflict, or crisis with greater ease and flow.

• I want to support you in designing your life in a way that makes it easy to experience more inner peace. I want to help you create clarity about what’s next for you and allow your best life to emerge from inner peace instead of fear, pressure or striving.

• And ultimately, I want to support you to get out of your own way and break old patterns and evolve into your best you as a business owner, parent, husband, wife, friend and contributor to the world.

For those who’d like to take this work further and really learn how to live in the sweet spot – enjoying that seemingly perfect blend of inner peace in action – I invite you to check out the resources available on my site at www.lifecoachmary.com.

1. Free Resources. Many of the resources are free, including:

• A Free Video series on Secrets to Profound Peace and Soaring Success • The Conversations with the Masters interview series • And the countless articles on my blog.

2. LifeCoachMary.com STORE. Visit my STORE to see which audio programs speak to you and keep an eye out for new ones.

3. Live Events. Maybe you’ll join us at an upcoming Inner Peace Immersion Retreat.

4. One-on-one Coaching. And, if you’d like to receive support from me personally, request an introductory coaching session with me.

Again visit www.lifecoachmary.com.

I hope I’ve inspired you to make inner peace a greater priority in your life and that you ultimately savor more of your life living in the sweet spot.

Here’s to your success and inner peace.