B NDINGS Vol. 30, No. 4 A Publication of New Ways Ministry Winter 2010-11 What is a Catholic response to suicide?

By James Martin, S.J. But often the how God builds nity all speak to the great gift that every www.americamagazine.org/blog Catholic message on the individual- person's life represents. Or the Cate- October 4, 2010\ to gay and lebian ity of each person chism , which states (in a line often ig- Catholics starts to create some- nored) that gays and must be It's impossible not to be moved by the off with the thing wonderful welcomed with "respect, sensitivity and terrible stories of the five youths who "Thou shall nots" and holy, are pow- compassion." They can also reach recently took their own lives because instead of the erful messages to "Christian perfection," that is, holiness, they were being harassed as gays and " T h o u all who feel too says the Catechism . lesbians. In New York the story of Tyler Shalls." We in- "different" to be Those places in our tradition might Clementi, the Rutgers freshman who was variably start off part of the Body all be good places to start when it comes filmed having a romantic encounter with with "Thou Shall of Christ. (Even to outreach, especially with youth (and another man, which was then live- Not Have Sex" specific episodes not just with gay and youth, but streamed by his "friends," seemed par- instead of "Thou Tyler Clementi from the lives of with all who feel excluded). And if pro- ticularly harrowing. A despairing Are a Beloved Creation of the saints--like the story life means trying to avoid anything that Clementi, age 18, ended his life by jump- God," or "Thou Art a Full Member of of St. Francis of Assisi leaping off his will threaten any life, from natural con- ing off of the George Washington the Community," or "Thou Have Much horse to tend to the leper, the outcast, and ception to natural death, then we should Bridge. Any suicide is an unspeak- to Bring to the Church." To what other being rewarded with a mystical vision-- be finding ways to protect all life, which able tragedy, just as any murder of any group is the "Thou Shall Not" our open- speak of the Christian call to reach out also means preventing suicides, and pre- kind is a tragedy, but there is something ing line? For example, have you ever precisely to those who feel most margin- venting gay suicides. In any event, there especially sad about a young person be- been to a gathering of Catholic married alized.) The voluminous writings of is much for us, the church, still to do.  lieving that their life will never be, or can couples where the opening line was popes and theologians on human dig- never be, better. The Christian heart is, "Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery"? Or as Jesus's heart was, "moved with pity." a gathering of Catholic business leaders This rash of deaths has prompted a where the opening line was, "Thou Shall response, especially on college cam- Not Steal"? We are all "loved sinners," A Prayer When I Feel Hated puses, and the "It Gets Better" project, as Jesuits like to say, but people-- which has adult gays and lesbians re- especially young people, especially peo- minding youth that as one matures "it ple on the margins, and especially young Loving God, you made me who I am. gets better." Essentially, it is an argu- people on the margins--should be re- I praise you and I love you, for I am wonderfully made, ment against despair and suicide. Sadly, minded of the "loved" part before the in your own image. many of the people interviewed speak of "sinner" part. overcoming the hatred that they felt in Simply speaking about outreach to Christian churches, schools and other gays and lesbians brings forth such swift But when people make fun of me, organizations and terrible condemnations in some I feel hurt and embarrassed and even ashamed. We Catholics, at least as I see it, can Catholic circles these days that it surely So please God, help me remember my own goodness, do a better job in reaching out to young must make the gay Catholic want to say which lies in you. gays and lesbians. On the positive side, to his or her church, as Jesus said to St. the USCCB's document "Always Our Peter, "Do you love me?" Help me remember my dignity, which you gave me Children" is a fine start, especially for It's a sad irony, because there is when I was conceived. parents who have homosexual chil- one life-changing resource in the Chris- Help me remember that I can live a life of love, dren. And many large dioceses and arch- tian tradition that can transform those because you created my heart. dioceses, like the Archdiocese of Los who feel unloved--that is, Jesus. The Angeles, have excellent outreach pro- Son of God reached out specifically to grams for gay and lesbian Catho- those on the margins, specifically to Be with me, loving God, when people hate me, lics. And of course on the local level those who felt rejected, specifically to and help me to respond how you would want me to: many gays and lesbians feel not only those who felt excluded from the com- with a love that respects others, but also respects me. welcomed by their pastors and pastoral munity. For Jesus, as the theologian Help me find friends who love me for who I am. staffs, but have become key members of James Alison has written, there was no their parishes communities, serving in a "other." And there is much in the Catho- Help me, most of all, to be a loving person. variety of roles. Without them our lic tradition in particular that can help church would be immeasurably poorer. gays and lesbians as well. To begin with, And God, help me remember that Jesus loves me. the lives of the saints, which show us For he was seen as an outcast, too. He was misunderstood, too. He was beaten and spat upon. Minnesota pastor challenges Jesus understands me, and loves me with a special love, Nienstedt's DVD campaign because of the way you made me. By Tom Roberts wrote Tegeder. "It is very hard to make And when I am feeling lonely, Ncronline.org the case that a small percentage of the help me to remember October 5, 2010 population who bond with members of that Jesus welcomed everyone as a friend. their own sex and seek to live in a com- A Minnesota pastor, in a letter to the mitted relationship with members of their Jesus reminded everyone that God loved them. editor of a major newspaper, has sharply own sex could have anything but a posi- Jesus encouraged everyone to embrace their dignity, criticized the campaign against same-sex tive effect on the general population's even when others were blind to seeing that dignity. marriage spearheaded by his archbishop, appreciation of stable, faithful, life- Jesus loved everyone with the boundless love that you John C. Nienstedt, of the Archdiocese of giving unions." St. Paul and Minneapolis. The DVD promotes a state constitu- gave him. Fr. Michael Tegeder, 62, pastor of St. tional amendment that would limit mar- And he loves me, too. Edward , Bloomington, took issue riage to one man and one woman. with the content of a 18-minute DVD Tegeder said the amendment "does not One more thing, God: sent by Minnesota to more than allow even for civil unions, and it would Help me remember that nothing is impossible with you, 400,000 Catholics throughout the state. limit current rights for gay and lesbian "The premise of the DVD," wrote citizens. We as Catholics can have our that you have a way of making things better, Tegeder, in a letter published Oct. 2 by own beliefs about marriage. But we must and that you can find a way of love for me, even if I the Star-Tribune , "is that same-sex cou- recognize that people of other faiths and can’t see it right now. ples and their committed relationships of no faith have conscientious beliefs as Help me remember all these things in the heart you cre- are a grave threat to marriage." well." The real threat to marriage, the pastor The DVDs were mailed out in late ated, loving God. argued, is poverty, citing an earlier report September and contain a six minute ad- on the effects of the economic downturn dress by Nienstedt and a 12-minute pres- Amen. on marriage. entation produced by the Knights of Co- —James Martin, SJ "In every serious study, poverty is the lumbus. According to a report in the top reason for marital breakdowns," (Continued on page 3) Page 2 BONDINGS Vol. 30, No. 4 B NDINGS Canadian condemns alleged hate crime Cbc.ca "Hatred is a sin and any action that Winter 2010-11 Vol. 30, No. 4 November 4, 2010 comes out of hatred is not only a sin, but in this case a crime and it must be denounced The leader of the on by all churches," he said. Francis DeBernardo, Editor is denouncing an "Anybody that claims to perpetrate these alleged hate crime that took place last kinds of hate crimes in the name of religion Board of Directors month. — what they're doing is abusing and misus- Mary Byers In October, a gay couple's home in ing religion and doing it harm." Frank O’Donnell, SM Little Pond was burned down. The cou- Grecco said the church rejects violence Rev. Paul Thomas ple, who escaped uninjured, believe the and hatred. fire was started because of their sexual He said church followers should love all

orientation. Bishop Richard Grecco people, even those who may live a lifestyle Board of Advisors One of the men told a reporter that the church disagrees with. Cornelius Hubbuch, CFX shortly after they moved into the community, they received Although Grecco has not formally asked his priests Anna Koop, SL a church card in their mailbox condemning gay sexuality as to talk about the issue on Sunday, he hopes they will. Elizabeth Linehan, RSM sinful. The fire is the subject of a criminal investigation. Patricia McDermott, RSM Bishop Richard Grecco said the news is very upset- but police say they don't have enough evidence to suggest Rev. Joe Muth ting. it was motivated by .  Matthew Myers

Staff San Antonio Archdiocese Says Francis DeBernardo, Executive Director Kelly Stewart, Staff Associate No More Dignity Mass at Catholic parish

Co-Founders By Michael Jones as their top social priorities. In are the days where church Sr. Jeannine Gramick Gayrights.change.org leaders want to denounce gay people, even if most folks in October 23, 2010 the pews have friends and family who identify as LGBT. Rev. Robert Nugent The actions of the Archdiocese, however, aren't going For 15 years, LGBT Catholics and allies were able to to keep LGBT Catholics from speaking out. Fred Anthony Bondings is a seasonal publication designed worship at St. Ann Catholic Church in San Antonio. On a Garza, the President of a local chapter of Dignity, said that to keep our subscribers informed of issues weekly basis these folks would filter into the pews, and the definition of Church isn't a building, but rather a com- that pertain to lesbian and gay people honor that age-old commandment to keep holy the Sab- munity of people. If the San Antonio Archdiocese won't let and the Catholic Church. bath. Priests and other Catholics interested in building a the LGBT community inside its doors without pre- better relationship between the Church and the LGBT com- conditions, then LGBT Catholics will just find another Founded in 1977, New Ways Ministry munity would attend, setting aside whatever divisions place to meet. is an educational and bridge-building might exist the other six days of the week, and focus on "We will continue to meet in a more welcoming envi- ministry of reconciliation between the reconciliation, forgiveness, and a little love between ronment. There are many people who believe that the Catholic gay and lesbian community neighbors. Catholic Church needs to do a better job of providing care and the institutional structures But in a memo released by their acting head bishop, for lesbian and gay people and our families," Garza said, in the Roman Catholic Church. the Archdiocese of San Antonio has said goodbye to recon- according to mySanAntonio.com. ciliation, forgiveness, and the whole 'love thy neighbor' His comments were echoed by local priests who inter- New Ways Ministry seeks to eradicate mission, and instead are telling LGBT people in San Anto- acted with LGBT Catholics, and said that the Archdiocese nio that they're no longer welcome in Church. Well, that is, is missing a grand opportunity to put politics aside, and prevalent myths and stereotypes unless they want to change their sexual orientation. focus on community. about homosexuality and supports civil Oscar Cantú, the interim head of the "We need to provide good preaching and good teach- rights for lesbian and gay persons in society. San Antonio archdiocese, said that creating a safe space for ing to this community,” said Father Eddie Bernal. “I have LGBT Catholics (and their friends and families) to worship met some of the most wonderful people in my life in Dig- New Ways Ministry was contradictory to the tenets of Catholicism, and that nity. They've changed my life for the better. And I've 4012 29th Street simply allowing LGBT Catholics to worship as a group learned so much.” Mount Rainier, Maryland 20712 made Jesus weep, and could simply not be tolerated. His If only there were more Fr. Bernals in the Archdio- (301) 277-5674 suggestion? That LGBT Catholics pledge celibacy if they cese, instead of Bishop Cantús. Send the Archdiocese of [email protected] really want to worship. San Antonio a message that you disagree with their deci- The sad part is that for 15 years this has been a non- sion to squash a 15-year service that has had a positive issue, as leaders within the Archdiocese felt it more impor- impact on both straight and LGBT Catholics alike. There tant to welcome all folks to the table, rather than exclude a are so many more important issues facing our communities heaping portion of the population. But as with many Catho- and our globe. Does the subject of homosexuality, and the TO SUBSCRIBE lic dioceses around the country, the politicization of the decision by church leaders to focus on treating LGBT peo- issue of homosexuality has taken center stage. Gone are the ple like outcasts, really have to own so much space within COMPLETE AND RETURN THE FORM days where many churches can be counted on to focus on today's Catholic Church? poverty, homelessness, hunger, education, and health care It is definitely time to speak up. 

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Email ______Fortunate Families’ First Conference Held Please make check payable to “New Ways Ministry.” Outside the US, please use only Fortunate Families, a national organization for Catholic parents of LGBT people, held its first conference, entitled checks drawn on a US bank in US dollars or “Joining Hands, Reaching Out,” on October 22-24, 2010, in Techny, Illinois. Over 50 parents from across the na- go to www.newwaysministry.org. tion attended the meeting. Pictured above is a panel session, featuring leaders of several Catholic pro-LGBT groups. At the podium, introducing the panelists is Deb Word, a Fortunate Families board member. At the table, Mail to: from left to right are Mary Ellen Lopata, co-founder of Fortunate Families, Marianne Duddy-Burke, executive di- New Ways Ministry rector of DignityUSA, Francis DeBernardo, executive director of New Ways Ministry, and Sheila Nelson, board 4012 29th Street president of the Catholic Association of Lesbian/Gay Ministries. (Tom Nelson Photograph) Mount Rainier, MD 20712 Winter 2010-11 BONDINGS Page 3 Catholic students denied communion at St. John’s Abbey, Minn. During Mass, students and others wearing protest buttons and sashes received Archbishop John Nienstedt's hand of blessing rather than the Eucharist.

By Paul Walsh and Maria Elena Baca body to make political statements or any "Jesus didn't play politics with com- Startribune.com kind of protest." munion," Harry Knox, the HRC's relig- October 6, 2010 St. Benedict theology junior Eliza- ion and faith program director, said beth Gleich, PRiSM vice president, said, Tuesday in a statement. "He offered his About 25 college students and com- "We were making a statement during body and blood for everyone." munity members at St. John's Abbey in the eucharist, and many have disagreed In the Twin Cities area, at least two Collegeville, Minn., were denied com- with that. But when we have no other efforts have gathered hundreds of DVDs munion by Twin Cities Roman Catholic way of dialoguing with our church, no from Catholics opposed to its message. Archbishop John C. Nienstedt because other way of telling him how we feel, Minneapolis artist Lucinda Naylor esti- they were displaying rainbow buttons and how else to do it than in liturgy?" mated Tuesday that she'd gathered about sashes in protest of the church's stand on She said their complaint is with 600. A group called Return the DVD gay relationships. church hierarchy, not with the colleges. has received about 1,000 in its Burns- The conflict between the archbishop Another student, senior Andrew ville post office box, and also has gar- and the group, mostly students from the Grausam, said he sat behind the group. nered about $5,000 in donations to help Catholic St. John's University and the "It was sad to see the mass politicized the poor, said organizer Bob Radecki. College of St. Benedict, occurred during like that," Grausam said. "And even The archdiocese has received about evening mass Sept. 26. though I wholeheartedly disagree with 100 DVDs back by mail, McGrath said. It came amid news that the state's the archbishop on this issue, I was hurt The campaign was made possible by bishops were mailing 400,000 DVDs to to see my worship become a place of anonymous donors and not by church Minnesota Catholics, spelling out church demonstration." funds, he said. teachings on gay marriage. The Human Rights Campaign The U.S. Postal Service will not The St. John's action was coordinated (HRC), which describes itself as the Archbishop John Nienstedt return bulk-mailed items. Spokesman by students, including members of People nation's largest civil rights organization Pete Nowacki said there's no way of Representing the Sexual Minority on behalf of gays, lesbians, bisexual and people, expressed outrage at knowing how many have been received  (PRiSM), which represents gay and les- Nienstedt's actions. and discarded. bian students and their friends and allies. That Sunday, according to those at the mass, about two dozen worshipers posi- Equally Blessed Protests Denial of Communion in Minnesota tioned themselves to receive communion from Nienstedt, who was saying his first Equally Blessed stands with Min- lics in the church and society. “The support of lesbian, gay, bisexual, student mass at the abbey. Some reached nesota Catholics who are taking their rainbows they wore speak of God’s transgender people and issues,” said for the communion wafer but were denied support for equality into Mass by covenant with all people, and sent a Francis DeBernardo, another spokes- it. Rather, the archbishop raised his hand wearing a rainbow ribbon or pin. message of hope to gay Catholics and person for Equally Blessed. “Instead in blessing. About two dozen people who wore family members at that Mass. The of imposing punitive measures, bish- The archdiocese long has denied com- these symbols to a Mass recently cele- Archbishop refused them Communion ops should be responding by listening munion to members of the Rainbow Sash brated by Archbishop John C. based on his own interpretation of to the lived faith of the people in their Movement, who wear the colors to mass Nienstedt were denied Communion Church teaching. He acted in a way flocks .” in protest of the church's stance in opposi- by the Archbishop. that is totally opposed to Jesus’ mes- Equally Blessed is a coalition of tion to homosexual relationships. Its “These Catholics took a coura- sage of welcome to all.” faithful Catholics who support full leader, Brian McNeil, said the action at St. geous step to demonstrate their sup- The bishops of Minnesota recently equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and John's was not connected to his group. port for gay and lesbian people in mailed 400,000 DVDs about the transgender (LGBT) people both in Archdiocese spokesman Dennis their state, who are feeling disheart- Church’s teaching on marriage to the church and in civil society. McGrath said the church has told ened by the recent actions of the bish- Catholics across the state. The mes- Equally Blessed includes four organi- McNeil's group "for years you cannot ops,” said Marianne Duddy-Burke, a sage in the DVDs urges recipients to zations that have spent a combined receive communion if you wear the rain- spokesperson for Equally Blessed, a vote for candidates articulating views 112 years working on behalf of LGBT bow sash, because it's a political state- coalition of Catholics working for opposed to marriage equality. people and their families: Call to ment, a sign of protest. Going to the com- justice and full inclusion of lesbian, “Catholics in the pews are increas- Action, DignityUSA, Fortunate Fami- munion rail is the most sacred part of our gay, bisexual and transgender Catho- ingly becoming more vocal in their lies, and New Ways Ministry  faith, the eucharist. We don't allow any-

Minnesota pastor challenges Archbishop Nienstedt's DVD campaign

(Continued from page 1) "comprised his office with the use of know how to defend yourself," he said, to begin getting to know each others' Start Tribune , Dennis McGrath, spokes- anonymous money." He said the cam- "because a lot of what we're being told names. We're all up in arms about some- man for the archdiocese, said the bishops paign leaves the impression "that politi- we have to follow just isn't true." thing that is about love, about people "felt the situation had gotten to the point cal funding is at work here." He also referred to Paul's instruction trying to find some happiness in this very that they had to do something. They He also cited comments last spring, to Timothy to be "strong, loving and difficult world. I've been to the moun- couldn't stand by and let this thing go reported in the German press and in the wise." While being strong "in our con- tain. I laughed when he sent that letter any further. The same-sex marriage train British Catholic publication The Tablet , victions, including our conviction about threatening excommunication and inter- was chugging along." McGrath also said by Austrian Cardinal Christoph Schön- marriage," said Tegeder, "we also have dict," Tegeder said. the mailing was paid for with a private born of Vienna, who told an interviewer to be wise and loving." It is those last "If he throws me out I can walk away donation. Nienstedt has described the that the church "should give more con- two qualities, he said, that he finds "so from this with my head up … I love min- DVD as a "teaching tool" for voters in sideration to the quality of homosexual missing in this DVD campaign." istry. I wake up at 5 every day and stay advance of the November gubernatorial relationships. A stable relationship is He recalled the theme of a recent busy until midnight. I love it. I'm ener- election. Two candidates running support certainly better than if someone chooses sermon he'd given on the rich man and gized by the opportunities." But some same-sex marriage and one doesn't. to be promiscuous." The Tablet also re- Lazarus. The names of the rich and fa- things just need to be said, he remarked. Tegeder's letter is the latest example ported that the cardinal said lasting gay mous are easily known today, he said, "This man is leading us in the wrong of push back against the DVD effort by relationships deserve respect. "but Jesus turns that around in this story. direction," on this issue, he said of Catholics. Lucinda Naylor, artist in resi- Schönborn, as Tegeder noted, is a It's the rich man who doesn't have a Nienstedt. "We have to call it for what it dence at the Basilica of St. Mary for the close friend of Pope Benedict XVI and a name." In the story, Tegeder said, Jesus is – it's bullying behavior. It's not the past 15 years, was recently suspended principal author of the Catechism of the also wants to expand the idea of brother. work of Jesus Christ. It's not the work of from that position when she went public Catholic Church. What struck him in the DVD campaign, Jesus Christ." with her opposition to the church cam- In an interview Oct. 4 with NCR , he said, "is that there were no names in On the matter of obedience, he paign. She has asked other Catholics Tegeder said he had received over- it. It's all ideology, all a theoretical view- quoted from a book that he's reading by opposed to the effort to send the DVDs whelmingly positive response to his let- point." Msgr. Dennis Murphy, A View from the to her for an art project. She told the ter, but had not yet received any reaction He couldn't help thinking, he said, of Trenches: Ups and Downs of Today's Minnesota Independent that she was from Nienstedt. the two gay men in a long, committed Parish Priest : "One dimension of this thinking of doing something related to Asked if he feared reprisal, he re- relationship, who have adopted two boys obedience that has become clearer in water or flames, "since both are impor- called that he'd already been threatened "out of a hell hole of a Russian orphan- recent years is that there is more to this tant Catholic symbols of the Holy by the archbishop "with excommunica- age" and recently spent thousands to help promise than a pledge or a commitment Spirit." tion and interdict" for installing a crema- one of their sons overcome a learning made only to a bishop. It encompasses She'll receive help from another tion garden at the church. When he was disability." One's view of the issue, he obedience commitment to the church, group, ReturnTheDVD.org, formed re- called on the carpet, he said, he was able said, changes profoundly when you get and especially to the church understood cently by a group of Catholics opposed to produce documentation that showed to know people's names and their cir- as the people of the diocese within which to the initiative. his parish had complied with all of the cumstances. the priest serves."  In his letter, Tegeder said it was diocesan and state regulations. He said "In this very difficult world where "That says it all," said Tegeder. "most scandalous" that Nienstedt he's heard nothing further. "You have to there are many divisive issues, we've got Page 4 BONDINGS Vol. 30, No. 4 Yes to civil unions and yes to my Catholic faith By Kristen McQueary lot. church focuses more resources toward ). Southtownstar.com With the state and country in fiscal opposing civil unions while virtually "It was not an easy vote. I really December 5, 2010 shambles, with troops in Afghanistan ignoring debate over reasonable social struggled with it. But one comment that and Iraq, with health care policy facing program expansion. stuck with me was from a person in the Let's talk about sex, shall we? Be- dramatic change, with an unemployment "Not all issues have the same moral church I really respect, and that was, cause that's really what last week's civil rate of 10 percent, with Chicago Public weight," explained Robert Gilligan, ex- 'Any loving relationship is a blessed rela- union vote in Springfield was all about. School children gunned down by gang- ecutive director of the Catholic Confer- tionship,' " Maloney said. For years, I've struggled with my sters, with examples of wasteful spend- ence of Illinois. "This is a bedrock prin- "If you read the bill, it is not an at- own church's recoil toward homosexual ing splashed across front pages, with ciple of Catholic social teaching, a call to tack on marriage," added state Sen. behavior. I am Catholic. foreclosures dumping families into family and to protecting life from con- Maggie Crotty (D-Oak Forest), also a My confusion is twofold: If you homeless shelters, with the state $6 bil- ception to natural death." Catholic. "When we wake up, married believe homosexuals are born gay, as I lion behind in money it owes to small The church does get involved in couples have nothing to fear. This was do, then you believe God created them businesses - no, I'm not going to vote other issues, but "there are not as many not a religious issue. It really deals with that way. Under no circumstance should based solely on a candidate's position on groups defending traditional marriage," the rights of persons who want to enter they - as made-to-order miracles of God abortion. he said. "There are many other voices on into a partnership." - be expected to refrain from the natural In the governor's race, for example, those other issues." The church also believes man plus urges that guide their relationships. Gov. Pat Quinn faced state Sen. Bill As for the sex part, the church be- woman equals children. Procreation is Sexuality is inherent. It's chemical. Brady (R-Bloomington). Quinn supports lieves condoning same-sex marriage is the bedrock of the Catholic faith. So between consenting, loving adults, abortion rights. Brady, reflecting Catho- detrimental to traditional marriage. But God doesn't always allow men sexual activity should be viewed as a lic doctrine, believes life starts with con- Frankly, I don't get that either. and women to procreate the old- natural progression of a relationship, no ception. Ending that life is murder. Whether gay people unite in a civil un- fashioned way. Millions of heterosexual matter the body parts involved. My deacon would have wanted me ion impacts my heterosexual marriage married couples choose not to have chil- I'm also confused about the Catholic to vote for Brady, period. zero percent. dren or physically cannot. If they rely church's aggressive lobbying against Here is what I wrestled with: Brady Apparently, the church still hopes to too heavily on science to treat infertility, civil unions and abortion while devoting also voted against increases in the mini- convert gay people to heterosexuality. the church blasts them, too. far fewer resources to a host of issues in mum wage, which is a pitiful, unliveable Marriage is an incentive to that. So re- Lastly, you should know I am a Springfield that counter Catholic teach- wage; against expanded health care for moving that incentive and allowing proud Catholic. I am Catholic because I ing. the working poor and their children; and "marriage" between gay people means respect, follow and support the church's Let me give you a few examples. against a tax credit for working, poor fewer homosexuals will choose hetero- missionary devotions and its humble, Then we'll get back to the sex. families (meanwhile approving tax cred- sexual unions. service-based teachings. During Mass shortly before the No- its for business owners). But come on. Does that make sense? But because of my liberal views on vember election, my church deacon re- Was the Catholic lobby rattling his It doesn't to me. Gay people are gay, gay marriage, the church would prefer to minded us to vote for candidates who cage about those votes? Was the Catho- right down to their genetic core. Nudg- cleanse me of its pews. I am not "pure." oppose abortion. That was the singular lic lobby even involved as those bills ing them into heterosexual relationships But guess what? message during a 15-minute homily. moved to the floor? is wrong and will, most of the time, end I'm not leaving. I was baptized, con- Voting based on that one issue? Not Because as I sit in the pew listening in painful divorce. firmed and married into the faith, and I'm my cup of tea. to scripture and singing from the hym- Southland Catholic legislators who staying put. In fact, single-issue voting, in my nal, the message consistently is focused supported last week's civil unions bill Right where God calls me to be.  opinion, is an ignorant way to cast a bal- on helping the needy. Yet the Catholic included state Sen. Edward Maloney (D- Nuns blast U.S. bishops over silence on gay teen suicide By Lou Chibbaro Jr. | Catholic Bishops failed to make a single Chicago, the outgoing president of the holy and just society and church.” www.washingtonblade.com, statement regarding these tragic, prevent- conference, announced to the gathering Sister Jeannine Gramick, a longtime November 18, 2010 able deaths.” that the ad hoc committee was being ele- supporter of LGBT rights from the D.C.- The statement adds, “Not one vated to an official subcommittee of the Baltimore area, is a board member and An organization of American Catho- bishop’s voice was raised to condemn a Conference of Bishops. executive coordinator of the National lic nuns has denounced the U.S. Confer- culture where youths are bullied for be- Clemmer said he was not aware of Coalition of American Nuns. ence of Catholic Bishops for reiterating ing who God created them to be and are any discussion or agenda items at the In a separate statement, the LGBT- its opposition to legalizing same-sex sometimes pushed by society’s judg- Baltimore meeting addressing gay teen supportive group Catholics for Equality marriage at its annual meeting in Balti- ments to attempt suicide.” suicide or anti-gay harassment or bully- expressed concern that the U.S. Confer- more this week while remaining silent on The Conference of Catholic Bishops, ing. He said the final two days of the ence of Catholic Bishops broke a long- anti-gay bullying and gay teen suicide. which represents Roman Catholic bish- meeting set for Wednesday and today standing tradition this week by not elect- In a statement ( see box below) ops in the U.S., held its annual fall Gen- were closed to the public and it was pos- ing its current vice president, Bishop Ge- released Tuesday, the National Coalition eral Assembly meeting this week in Bal- sible that items not posted on the public rald Kicanas of Tucson, Ariz., as the new of American Nuns accused the bishops of timore. agenda could be discussed. president. acting like “blinded Pharisees” for wag- Don Clemmer, a spokesperson for “The National Coalition of Catholic Kicanas, who Catholics for Equality ing a fight against marriage equality the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, Nuns calls on all U.S. Catholics to rise describes as a “social justice champion,” while failing to speak out on gay teen said Archbishop Joseph Kurtz of Louis- up and say, ‘Enough, enough!” says the was bypassed for the president’s position suicides brought about by school bully- ville, Ky., the newly elected vice presi- nuns’ statement. “No more discrimina- when the Conference of Bishops elected ing and harassment. dent of the bishops’ conference, gave a tory rhetoric and repressive measures instead Archbishop Timothy Dolan of “More than a month has gone by presentation on the marriage issue before from men who lay heavy burdens on the New York, an outspoken opponent of since the media broke the news about a the conference’s Ad Hoc Committee on shoulders of others and do not lift one same-sex marriage equality and LGBT series of gay suicides,” the nuns’ state- Defense of Marriage. finger of human kindness and compas- rights, according to Catholics for Equality. ment says. “During that time, the U.S. He said Cardinal Frances George of sion,” it says “We all need to work for a The group noted that the bishops’ conference elected Archbishop Kurtz, the head of the Ad Hoc Committee for the Defense of Marriage, as its new vice president. Nuns to Bishops: Condemn Bullying, Not Marriage “Archbishop Kurtz … has led the Catholic hierarchy’s national campaign to On behalf of GLBT Catholics, their families and against marriage equality—all at a time when their credibil- deny marriage and family rights to gay friends, and thoughtful Catholics across the United States, ity on sexual matters is at a record low. and lesbian citizens,” Catholics for Equal- the National Coalition of American Nuns is appalled at the The bishops have not learned from the Minnesota ex- ity said in a statement released Wednes- lack of sensitivity of the United States Conference of perience, where Catholics returned the anti-gay DVD’s the day. Catholic Bishops to lesbian and gay persons. hierarchy sent to each household in the state. The anger of “That campaign has been financially More than a month has gone by since the media broke Minnesota Catholics is erupting all across our country. assisted by the national office of the the news about a series of gay suicides. During that time, Faithful Catholics believe their bishops should be preaching Knights of Columbus, most recently the US Catholic Bishops failed to make a single statement a message of concern and understanding, instead of rejec- through the production of videos that de- regarding these tragic, preventable deaths. Not one bishop’s tion and hate. mean and discredit gay and lesbian rela- voice was raised to condemn a culture where youths are The National Coalition of American Nuns calls on all tionship, as well as single parent and ex- bullied for being who God created them to be and are some- US Catholics to rise up and say, “Enough, enough! No tended family households,” the statement times pushed by society’s judgments to attempt suicide. more discriminatory rhetoric and repressive measures from says. Many people have accused certain segments of organized men who lay heavy burdens on the shoulders of others and “In his report from the Ad Hoc Com- religion, including the Catholic hierarchy, of fueling these do not lift one finger of human kindness and compassion.” mittee for the Defense of Marriage, attacks and contributing to suicides. Founded in 1969 to study and to speak out on issues of Archbishop Kurtz makes it clear that our The annual meeting in Baltimore of the US Catholic justice in church and society, the National Coalition of bishops are waging a new political cam- Bishops this week offered an opportunity to decry these American Nuns (NCAN) consists of approximately 500 paign to change the laws in our country,” horrendous events. Instead, the bishops have chosen to dis- Catholic sisters from different congregations of women said Ariello Alioto, a Catholics for Equal- cuss “the defense of marriage,” their well-funded attack on religious in the United States. NCAN, 12434 Klinger St., ity board member.  same-gender couples. Detroit, MI 48212, 313-891-2192, www.ncan.us, Like blinded Pharisees, they fail to see that the Catho- [email protected].  lic community is embarrassed by their silence in the face of brutality and incensed by their push of a political agenda Winter 2010-11 BONDINGS Page 5 Sullivan v. Gallagher: Catholics Debate LGBT Rights At Georgetown By Sarah Posner that the reason why the hierarchy has a Religion Dispatches.org problem with gay people is that many of December 9, 2010 them are gay, and then engaged in a fully justifiable rant about the church sex If you were anywhere near George- abuse scandals. town University last night, you might Gallagher's chief protest as self- have felt the earth tremble beneath your appointed martyr, an article of faith in the feet. In a cavernous auditorium at the religious anti-gay movement, is that revered Catholic institution, to an audi- LGBT equality spells a lack of freedom ence of about 300 students, faculty, and for religious people, an effort to "repress members of the public, Atlantic blogger and marginalize" them. Yet her own most Andrew Sullivan thanked God for homo- unseemly moment -- and there were sexuality. many -- was NOM's distribution of a Sullivan was speaking at what was sheet of paper about Catholics for Equal- billed as a "family" event -- as in a dis- ity, "In Their Own Words," intended to cussion among fellow Catholics -- co- smear the group as an anti-Catholic tool sponsored by the College Democrats and of evil liberals. Its most telling portions: College Republicans and publicized by Andrew Sullivan Maggie Gallagher two mentions of associations of groups the pro-LGBT group Catholics for Equal- that work with Catholics for Equality ity. With Washington Post columnist and Someone send them back for a grade point of Sullivan's disquisition on love with "noted atheist" George Soros. (The Georgetown professor E.J. Dionne serv- school vocabulary lesson. and the sacredness of his own marriage. sheet also falsely depicted People for the ing as moderator, Sullivan went toe to toe Only with ice water running through As he put it to her, "You keep sexualiz- American Way as "an anti-religious with Maggie Gallagher, the pundit and one's veins could one have been unmoved ing the homosexual relationship in a group.") driving force behind the anti-gay group by Sullivan's recount- way that you wouldn't The invoking of Soros was stunning: National Organization for Marriage. ing of his Catholic "You keep sexualize the hetero- the standard conservative false smear That such an event was held at a boyhood, his sexual sexual relationship." against Soros is that he betrayed his own Catholic institution was historic, Catho- awakening as an ado- sexualizing the Sullivan, a devout Jewish people to the Nazis, while another lics for Equality founding board member lescent, and, as he Catholic, condemned popularized falsehood in the anti-gay Joe Palacios told me. Palacios, a priest, is told it, what a lucky homosexual the Catholic hierarchy movement centers on an attempt to link also an adjunct professor at Georgetown. bloke he considered relationship in a way for "dehumanizing" homosexuality to Nazism. There was, of As advertised, the gathering had himself to be when he LGBT people through course, no need to debate Catholics for much in common with a family holiday discovered sexual that you wouldn't its teachings, which Equality's mission by mentioning Soros. dinner: passive aggressive recriminations, desire. As he has done sexualize the elicited an angry reac- The fact that NOM did speaks to an effort eye rolls, and a regular playing of the in his writing, Sulli- tion from Gallagher. to deploy conservative tropes about who victim card. That, at least, was what Gal- van celebrated his heterosexual "One way of making a is or isn't the "real" religious person, and lagher brought to the table. gayness, describing kid feel awful is to to drop code that political adversaries Gallagher is insistent upon the pri- his sexuality as a di- relationship." call him intrinsically betray God to support evil. macy of natural law; that God's intent for vine gift, and that "the disordered," was Sulli- But it was Gallagher who had the marriage was for procreation and absent first person I came out van's retort. Gallagher gall to call out Catholics for Equality in that possibility, marriage isn't marriage. to was God." Even the —Andrew Sullivan attempted to fudge the her prepared remarks. "There is still time (She offered an exemption for infertility, persistence of the Catholic teaching on to repent," she said without a shred of self something about which she has previ- teenage erection was that matter, claiming -reflection. "Truth and love will pre- ously written, unconvincingly.) The audi- depicted as a wondrous joy. That same- all are sinners and other sexual sin is vail."  ence was largely in disagreement with sex sexual desire -- not just civil rights -- also considered disordered. Sullivan her, but NOM supporters were out in is equally celebrated in God's eyes was further incensed her with his assertion force, passing out buttons that both a divine (double entendre intended) (deceptively) proclaimed in large letters and human argument to which Gallagher support for "marriage equality;" below, had no decent (again, double entendre the graphic depicted a man and a woman intended) rebuttal. figure = marriage. That's the equality, for Sexual desire, Gallagher insisted, "is Gallagher. "I do support marriage equal- not an appetite, it is a vocation" to create ity," she said, echoing the button, but "I babies. But to dismiss gay desire as just don't think gay unions are marriage." an appetite of course missed the entire Irish priest banned from writing because of pro-gay stance

By Patsy McGarry Irishtimes.com November 13, 2010

An Irish Catholic priest has been banned by the Vatican from publishing any more of his writings after he sug- gested homosexuality is “simply a facet of the human condition”. This follows an article on homo- sexuality by Capuchin priest Fr Owen O’Sullivan, published in last March’s edition of the Furrow magazine. De- scribed as “a journal for the contempo- rary Church”, the Furrow is published at St Patrick’s College Maynooth. Commenting on teachings that Fr. Owen O’Sullivan, OFM Cap. “homosexuality is unnatural”, Fr O’Sullivan wrote that “nature is a loose saying... ‘There’s nothing in itself wrong peg on which to hang a theology of hu- with being Irish... But that doesn’t mean man relationships”. The Concise Oxford you may act on it. So, no more Guinness, Dictionary listed nine meanings for going to Croke Park, singing rebel songs “nature” and 14 for “natural”, he said. into the early hours of the morning, wav- He noted it was argued that the natu- ing Tricolours, no more craic.” ral purpose of sexuality is procreation The Congregation for the Doctrine “and that, since homosexual relationships of the Faith at the Vatican contacted the are not procreative of life, they are there- Capuchin secretary general in with fore unnatural”. an instruction Fr O’Sullivan was no Throughout history “same-sex at- longer to write for publication without traction and acts have been a consistent first having his articles approved by it. feature of human life . . . Same-sex at- Capuchin headquarters in Rome traction is simply a facet of the human contacted Fr O’Sullivan’s superiors. condition,” he said. He recalled church Contacted by The Irish Times , Fr teaching says it is not wrong to be gay, O’Sullivan did not feel free to discuss it ‘‘but it is wrong to act gay”. nor did Fr Ronan Drury, editor of the He suggested: “Imagine someone Furrow .  Page 6 BONDINGS Vol. 30, No. 4 Welcome is mixed for gays on Catholic campuses By Catherine M. Odell college campuses do a good job with gay Ncronline.org ministry even if it’s done “under the ra- November 15, 2010 dar. You have places like the George- town model where they actually have a As warm September days gave way program and space for gays and lesbians. to a crisp October, most college students Then you have campuses like Marquette across the country heard something about where a lesbian [Jodi O’Brien] was of- the Sept. 22 suicide of Rutgers freshman fered a deanship and was then rejected. Tyler Clementi. The 18-year-old jumped What does that say to gay students on off the George Washington Bridge in campus?” New York when fellow freshmen In 2004, Georgetown University in streamed a video on the Internet of Washington created an Office of LGBTQ Clementi in a homosexual encounter. (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and Gay college students, including questioning) Community Resources and some at the nation’s 230 Catholic col- hired a part-time coordinator. Officials at leges, held candlelight vigils to remem- the Jesuit university were discussing the ber Clementi and bear witness to the need to expand the outreach when anti- agony that gay young people often live gay attacks on Georgetown students were with every day. reported in the fall of 2007. University of Notre Dame senior Georgetown’s president, John J. Brandon Buchanan said he couldn’t DeGioia, acted quickly, establishing imagine how painful and humiliating it three working groups. A new LGBTQ must have been to be “outed” as Resource Center was the result. It re- Elizabeth Gleich, center, meets with fellow Minnesota student activists follow- Clementi was. He came out on his own. cently opened with two full-time staff ing the Sept. 26 Mass in which they were denied Communion for wearing rain- “I honestly don’t think Notre Dame peo- members, new programming and a new bow sashes as a sign of protest against the church’s position on homosexual- ple think it [anti-gay bullying and sui- campus alert system. ity. (Sophouen T. Chhin Photo) cide] could happen here,” he told the DeGioia and Georgetown adminis- student newspaper, The Observer . “I trators make it clear that they are advo- Mary’s student to a GLBT leadership This September, Anthony Garrison would disagree.” cating for the students -- not a gay camp,” he said. started work as the interim director at the Clementi might have been thinking agenda. “As a Catholic and Jesuit univer- Dacey contends that there is a sort of newly opened Office for Lesbian, Gay, of an anti-gay cartoon that was published sity, a university administrator cannot “brick wall” erected around gays at Bisexual and Transgendered Student in the Observer last January. In the car- advocate for policies or practices that are Notre Dame. The president, Holy Cross Services at Loyola Marymount Univer- toon, a character posed the question, counter to Catholic teaching,” DeGioia Fr. John Jenkins, he reports, has not met sity in Los Angeles. Following the lead “What’s the best way to turn a fruit into a told the Georgetown community. with GALA-ND/SMC. “He sent me an e- of Georgetown and Seattle Universities - vegetable?” The answer: “A baseball At Notre Dame, Holy Cross Sr. mail and said that he will not meet with - both Jesuit schools -- Loyola Mary- bat.” A firestorm of protests followed -- Mary Lou Gude was assistant vice presi- us,” Dacey said. mount established an office devoted to on and off the Indiana campus. Although dent for student affairs from 1998 to Because gay students who are out answering gay, lesbian, bisexual and some at Notre Dame said that the cartoon 2006. She now serves neighboring St. are often activists, clashes over gay is- transgender needs. Previously, the needs slipped into the paper because the editor Mary’s College as vice president for mis- sues are likely to play out on Catholic of these students were addressed by the never saw it, many on campus were ap- sion. Though Notre Dame has not estab- campuses. director of Intercultural Affairs, Garrison palled. In the spring, the university lished a center for the gay community On Sept. 26, Archbishop John C. reported. hosted programs to air the issue, high- like Georgetown did, she thinks good Nienstadt of Minneapolis-St. Paul re- “What was happening was great,” light gay rights and let gays tell their progress was made. fused to give Communion to 25 gay ac- Garrison said, “but the efforts needed to own stories. be expanded. This is just another popula- Particularly on Catholic campuses, tion that we’re supporting.” The new gay students live and pursue their educa- center, Garrison said, includes a resource tion in the midst of an intensifying center, a lounge for students to hang out, Catholic debate over homosexuality. and a technology center. Acceptance of traditional church teach- At Seattle University, outreach is a ing that homosexual inclinations are dis- combined effort from Campus Ministry ordered, and that same-sex marriage vio- and the Office of Multicultural Affairs. lates natural law, is decreasing among Jesuit Fr. Michael Bayard is Seattle’s Catholics overall. Support for gay mar- director of Campus Ministry and sees the riage among Catholics has now grown to pairing of these two university offices as 45 percent, according to the Pew Re- ideal. Gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans- search Center. gender students constitute a minority that “Our current college students have needs a particular ministry, and they just grown up in a culture where they have their own unique culture. have been exposed to gay people in their Ten years ago, according to Bayard, families, in their schools, in their church Seattle University began to offer week- communities, in the media,” explained end retreats for gay, lesbian, bisexual and Marianne Duddy-Burke, executive direc- transgender students each spring. The tor of DignityUSA. It’s easy to see, she retreats, now called “Colors Retreats,” says, why the Catholic college student supported students exploring sexuality. population is even more accepting of the The retreats helped them to look at faith, gay agenda than their parents. the social implications of being gay, safe DignityUSA is a member of Equally Marquette University students protest May 6 after the Jesuit university in Mil- sex, dealing with community responses, Blessed, a new coalition of four estab- waukee rescinded a job offer to professor Jodi O’Brien to be dean of the Col- and making friends. lished Catholic organizations that have lege of Arts and Sciences. Marquette’s president said the offer to O’Brien, a Not everyone endorses the higher supported gay rights for many years. department chair at Jesuit-run Seattle University, was premature. Some Mar- profile outreach to gay students emerging Duddy-Burke serves as a spokesperson quette students and faculty angry over the decision suggested it was because on some Catholic campuses. In a late for that coalition. O’Brien is openly gay. September opinion column in Loyola U.S. Catholic colleges offer top Marymount’s student newspaper, the Los quality education and openly gay stu- “Sister M.L.,” as students, faculty tivists from St. John’s University and the Angeles Loyolan , one student expressed dents are often willing to trade a less and administrators called her, said she College of St. Benedict in Minnesota. the hope that his university would not welcoming environment for the educa- spent much of her time working to create They came to Mass wearing rainbow compromise Catholic teaching for gay tional benefits and career payoff. New a better campus response to gay students. sashes to protest the church’s position on outreach. Ways Ministry, a Catholic gay advocacy The resulting Core Council for Gay, Les- homosexuality. A spokesman for the The university, Kenneth Valahos group founded in 1977, publishes an bian, Bisexual & Questioning Students archdiocese later explained that the wrote, should post its mission statement online listing of “Gay-friendly Catholic still acts today as the only official re- archbishop had offered a blessing rather as a Catholic university next to its new Colleges and Universities.” A “gay- source for gays at Notre Dame. It is over- than the Eucharist because wearing rain- office, saying: “We love and support the friendly” college, the Web site says, is seen by the vice president for student bow sashes had constituted “a political LGBT student, but we do not support the one that offers “some type of lesbian/gay affairs. statement, a sign of protest” and wasn’t sin of a homosexual lifestyle.” student group or support group.” Cur- Dacey said he still feels frustration an appropriate disposition for receiving But gay outreach, Seattle Univer- rently, there are 107 schools listed. that Notre Dame undergrads do not have the Eucharist. sity’s Bayard argued, does echo essential Although Notre Dame is on that list, a recognized student club, let alone a Elizabeth Gleich, a junior and theol- Catholic teaching. At a Catholic institu- Liam Dacey, who graduated from Notre center. He serves as chair of GALA-ND/ ogy major at the College of St. Benedict tion like Seattle University, ministry to Dame in 2004, agreed with Buchanan’s SMC, an alumni organization of about and one of the rainbow sash protesters the gay and lesbian student population sentiments: Notre Dame is not that wel- 1000 gay and lesbian graduates of Notre argued, “When we have no other way of answers questions about what Catholi- coming to gays. Unlike other Catholic Dame and nearby St. Mary’s College. dialoguing with our church, no other way cism means. “We feel we are called to be schools, Notre Dame will not recognize Because the university will not fund a of telling him [the bishop] how we feel, very inclusively Catholic,” concluded or fund gay groups or clubs. club, GALA-ND/SMC does. “We fund how else to do it than in liturgy?” Bayard, “regardless of faith, gender ori- “We see a huge variety [in Catholic their social activities and have a scholar- Some Catholic colleges are now entation, and ethnicity. We should try to colleges],” reported Duddy-Burke, ship for a current Notre Dame or St. presenting their gay ministries as out- create a welcoming community for all.” though she maintains that most Catholic reach to minority populations.  Winter 2010-11 BONDINGS Page 7 Catholic school pulls op-ed on gay issues from website

By Mila Koumpilova online debate. They said they felt offi- and count," said Sean, who came out on the student newspaper site, Benilde-St. pioneerpress.com cials had caved in to calls from online his Facebook page earlier this school Margaret Principal Sue Skinner said the November 16, 2010 commentators to remove the pieces, year. discussion's "level of intensity has cre- which some found offensive. The Knight Errant enjoys great edi- ated an unsafe environment for students." Senior Sean Simonson didn't foresee "I feel that by complying with those torial independence, Vigil said. A faculty Several recent suicides of college the stir his account of life as a gay teen requests, our administration is implying adviser oversees the newspaper, but the and high school students who were ap- would cause: dozens of occasionally solidarity with them, which is more dam- administration does not preview cover- parently bullied because of their sexual sharply worded online comments and a aging than allowing the debate to con- age. orientation have given the subject a high debate over how his school handled a tinue," said senior Bernardo Vigil, one of The newspaper team expected a profile nationwide. According to Jane sensitive, high-profile topic. the editors at the student newspaper, the lively debate over Kirtley, director of Administrators at Benilde-St. Mar- Knight Errant. the editorial but the University of garet's, a Catholic school in St. Louis In its Thursday print edition, the not the nearly 100 Minnesota's Silha Park, removed Simonson's piece and a paper published a story about a DVD the comments on Center for the Study staff editorial dealing with homosexual- Minnesota Catholic Conference distrib- Simonson's per- of Media Ethics and ity from the student newspaper website uted in September, which called for a sonal piece. Many Law, that high pro- Friday. They said online comments the constitutional amendment to ban same- of the comments file has made writings triggered were creating an un- sex marriage in the state. Along with the were supportive, schools especially safe environment for gay students. article ran a staff editorial critical of the but some were eager to keep de- After initial cries of censorship, stu- DVD and Simonson's piece, in which he sharply critical of bate polite. Kirtley dent journalists said Monday that the shared that the pressures of growing up the essay, which said she under- school's reaction was well-intentioned. as a gay youth had driven him to ponder they felt did not stands administra- Still, they decried the decision to halt the suicide. belong in a tors' reluctance to "I wanted to stand up and speak out Catholic school provide a forum newspaper. that includes nega- Simonson wasn't tive comments fazed: "All of about gay students. these arguments But "I think you're were ones I've had to face and overcome abrogating one of your responsibilities as to accept my sexuality." an educator, which is not to ban contro- But administrators apparently versial topics but to encourage civil dis- thought the comments went too far. cussion about them," she said. "This is a "As a Catholic school, our responsi- time for students to explore those diffi- bility is to respect and uphold the dignity cult issues, and educators should not of the vulnerable, including students who discourage that." are attracted to the same sex," school Student journalists said that though president Bob Tift said in a statement, it was cut short online, a robust debate which went on to say, "The online com- continued at school Monday. More than ments regarding the editorial and opinion a dozen students wore rainbow-colored piece in question were creating a disre- clothing to school in support of spectful environment as well as confu- Simonson, and religion classes hosted sion about the teachings of the Catholic discussions about the Knight Errant's Church." coverage. The newspaper staff met with The school, the statement said, had administrators, and the meeting reassured to balance its goal of promoting student Vigil of the school's sincerity. dialogue and its responsibility to uphold "Those were all steps in the right The Benilde-St. Margaret’s student newspaper website those teachings. In a brief statement on direction," he said.  Illinois Gov. Quinn to 'follow conscience' on civil unions By Dave McKinney most important thing to do in life, and Chicago Sun-Times my conscience is not kicking me in the December 2, 2010 shins today,'' the governor told reporters. The legislation does not alter state SPRINGFIELD -- The Illinois Sen- law recognizing marriage as being be- ate Wednesday passed landmark civil tween a man and woman. But it would unions legislation that is now headed to grant gays and lesbians new rights to Gov. Quinn, who has pledged to sign it make health care decisions involving despite new church criticism he would their sick partners, decide how to dispose not be a good Roman Catholic in doing of their deceased partners' remains and so. have new standing in how their estates "Today was a great day for the peo- are divvied up, among other things. ple of Illinois, for the family of Illinois,'' An air of history being made envel- Quinn said after the Senate's 32-24 vote oped the Senate, which fell silent as a for legislation that would make Illinois succession of speakers debated the bill in the sixth state to recognize civil unions a discussion that, at times, turned emo- between gay and lesbian couples. tional. The Senate's vote followed House approval Tuesday and came despite criti- "I follow my cisms over the measure's potential cost to taxpayers, the likelihood it would lead to conscience. I think Gov. Pat Quinn (center) and two directors in the Governor's office -- legislative legalization of gay marriages and con- director Lindsay Anderson (left) and legislative operations director Deb Shipley cern that it had trumped fixing the state's everyone should do -- applaud the passage of legislation in the state Senate legalizing civil unions budget ills among legislative priorities. Wednesday. Shortly after the Senate's move, the governor, who is Roman Catholic, got an that. I think that's the rights as the other two, and I don't under- unions, Meeks said, "I don't know. But I earful from the head of Springfield's stand that,'' Koehler said. believe in the sanctity of marriage. Per- Catholic archdiocese, Bishop Thomas most important thing Mayoral politics also flared as a haps it will help among everybody who John Paprocki, who questioned Quinn's result of Wednesday's vote. believes in the sanctity of marriage." adherence to church teachings. to do in life. . .” State Sen. James Meeks (D- Other city mayoral candidates, in- "If the governor wishes to pursue a Chicago) -- a mayoral candidate, the cluding Rahm Emanuel, Carol Moseley secular agenda for political purposes, — Gov. Pat Quinn pastor of Salem Baptist Church and past Braun, and Danny Davis, that is his prerogative for which he is critic of gay rights -- voted against the made calls to lobby lawmakers to sup- accountable to the voters. But if he legislation, calling it a "sea change'' for port the legislation. wishes to speak as a Catholic, then he is the state. Opposition did not break entirely accountable to Catholic authority, and "I have a gay daughter," said state "I believe a bill this big and with this along party lines, with Downstaters from the Catholic Church does not support Sen. David Koehler (D-Peoria), the bill's much magnitude probably should have both parties casting "no'' votes. The only civil unions or other measures that are chief Senate sponsor, whose child, been placed on a ballot for a referendum. Republican to vote for the bill was Sen. contrary to the natural moral law,'' Pa- Maggie, watched the deliberations from I believe in the sanctity of marriage be- Dan Rutherford (R-Chenoa), the incom- procki said. the Senate gallery with her partner. tween a man and a woman. That was the ing state treasurer. State Sen. Ira Told of the bishop's statement, "I've seen this issue through the eyes impetus for my vote," Meeks said. Silverstein (D-Chicago) was the only Quinn shrugged. of a father who has a gay child. What it Asked if he thought his vote would senator to vote "present."  "I follow my conscience. I think means is I have one daughter amongst damage his standing among gay and les- everyone should do that. I think that's the my three who doesn't have the same bian voters and others who favor civil Page 8 BONDINGS Vol. 30, No. 4 A letter to LGBT Catholics: It gets better By Kate Childs-Graham God made me. I questioned my faith. I Help create and promote welcoming and gay is wrong or LGBT rights aren’t Ncronline.org questioned my God. I wondered if this inclusive schools, churches and homes rights at all, know that there are many October 7, 2010 life was worth living. I hit rock bottom. that are free from judgment and bullying. more Catholics who will love and sup- And it got better. I left CUA with Young people are looking to you for port you for who you are. I found my At the end my admissions interview diploma in my hand and scars on my moral guidance and support. Please do Catholic home with organizations like for the Catholic University of America heart only to find a world full of accep- not let them down. Don’t be a reason Call To Action and Dignity USA who (CUA), I asked, “Is this school welcom- tance and love. I realized that the people they feel unsafe, unloved and unwel- provide a safe and welcoming place for ing for gay and lesbian people?” The who mattered most were the people who comed. Be the reason they know they are gay Catholics -- for any Catholics -- to interviewer responded simply, “Yes.” love and support me for who I am. I rec- children of God and therefore are loved express our faith. I know that you will When I walked onto CUA’s campus onciled my sexuality with my faith with and worthy of respect. find your place in and out of the church. for the first time as a student, I thought I the help of a few incredible friends. I met To commenters and bloggers: To all Catholics: was walking on to a safe and welcoming my partner, and our friends and family Please know that the impact of bully- Yes, it does get better for LGBT campus. Unfortunately, I was wrong. stood around us as we exchanged vows ing doesn’t stop at the schoolhouse or Catholic youth, but please know that we In my years at CUA, I was called a just two years ago. I found my place in church door. The impact of bullying is have the power to make it great. The fag in class. I was constantly reminded this church and this world. also felt from words of hate and judg- teachings of the church hierarchy on ho- about the rules against “homosexual ac- It’s gotten better at CUA as well, as a ment seen online. I challenge you to find mosexuality do not reflect the values and tivity” on campus. I was encouraged to group of students have started an creative ways to critique and debate beliefs of the vast majority of Catholics. live a chaste life by campus ministers. I “unofficial” gay-straight alliance on ideas without attacking the character, Standing together, we can create a was asked to resign from leading a campus called CUAllies. They are work- dignity or values of any person. I know church that is truly welcoming of all peo- women’s prayer group. I was ostracized ing to make the campus a safe and wel- that together we can make the internet a ple. We can create a safe space for from campus ministry activities. I was coming place. I couldn’t be prouder. safe place for any person to express their Catholic youth to explore their faith and laughed at when I tried to start a support In the recent months, we have seen thoughts or stories without being subject their sexuality. We can create lasting group for lesbian, gay, bisexual and too many young people take their lives as to personal ridicule or attack. change in a world and a church that so transgender (LGBT) students on campus. a result of bullying. The world has spo- To Catholic youth: badly needs it. We can make life great. The list goes on. ken out. I hope that the Catholic church It does get better. I once thought that If you are a young person who needs And I struggled. I went to daily Mass will do the same. in order to live my life as an openly gay help, please contact the Trevor Project. as an act of repentance, denying myself To the church hierarchy and other person, I would have to give up my faith. For LGBT Catholics and allies who are the Holy Eucharist for months on end. I leaders of the church: Now I know that I can be both proudly looking for a safe space in our church, went to confession week after week, con- Please do not let yourselves or our gay and devoutly Catholic. For every please check out Call to Action and Dig- fessing one and only sin -- being who church be labeled as a source of bullying. person in the church who says that being nity USA.  On sexual orientation, it's time for the church to join the bandwagon By Mike Sweitzer-Beckman It is time for church leaders to stop wearing a rainbow sash are not allowed clarified their sexual orientation to the Ncronline.org waiting for the bandwagon to pull on to receive the Eucharist because they are world. Rather than hiding in a closet, a October 14, 2010 past and to take a stand to lead the making a political statement. gay or lesbian person is given new life. charge. However, in denying these Catholic Building on Kate Childs Graham’s This past month, I read with a heavy Who really wants to be known for faithful the Eucharist, the church is ironi- column from last week (see above), the heart about the multiple reports of gay affirming a woman’s right to vote after cally making a political statement. It is a church has a mandate to start providing teenagers who took their own lives as a 1919, or for promoting the Civil Rights case where a church leader took a stance “a positive and prudent sexual educa- result of bullying. Their names include Act after 1964? Do we want our church and it doesn’t seem to agree with Jesus’ tion.” Cody Barker, Billy Lucas, Seth Walsh, to pull another Galileo and get it right teachings on justice and love for There are many rich resources and Tyler Clementi, and Asher Brown. These some 500 years later? neighbor. materials out there. It’s not like the kids are from New Jersey, Texas, Indi- The church has a mission to be pro- There is plenty of scriptural basis for church would have to start from scratch ana, and California. They were in high phetic, to listen to the social and natural treating our gay and lesbian brothers and in order to promote an educational at- school and college. science experts around us and it is time sisters with dignity and respect. mosphere that affirms one’s dignity and Somehow, as a society we are fail- to start living out that vision that Jesus Jesus commands us to live in right respect. ing. taught us. relationship with one another in John Locally, I look to the Gay Straight Some people say that bullying hap- Instead, it seems that the Church is 15:12-13, 17: Alliance for Safe Schools. That organiza- pens to everyone. I would say that there going backwards.Last month a group of “This is my commandment, that you tion envisions educational systems in is a difference between getting picked on students and even some clergy at the love one another, just as I have loved which all students thrive regardless of because you got some new glasses or College of Saint Benedict and Saint you. Greater love has no one than this, sexual orientation or gender identity/ braces and being bullied because of a John’s University in Minnesota attended that one lay down his life for his expression and they train dozens of stu- marker of your human identity. the weekly Mass wearing rainbow- friends ... This I command you, that you dent leaders around Wisconsin to build Many people are beginning to speak colored bands to stand in solidarity with love one another.” safer, stronger communities. out on this issue and the need for more those in the gay and lesbian community Thanks to this recent op-ed in the The church has a choice.It can either comprehensive education in our schools, who are being bullied across the country. Washington Pos t, we learn about the choose to join the bandwagon that is from Phoenix Suns point guard Steve They did not raise a ruckus. They spiritual side of ‘coming out’ from Fran- calling for dignity and respect for our Nash to Arizona Cardinals safety Kerry did not shout out during the homily. cis DeBernardo, Marianne Duddy-Burke, gay and lesbian brothers and sisters, or it Rhodes, and Secretary of Education Arne Regardless, they were refused the Casey Lopata, and Nicole Sotelo. can continue the course of standing idly Duncan to CNN host Larry King. Eucharist by Archbishop John Nienstedt They crack open another story from by while injustices and abuses are com- Who is missing from this list? I have of the Minneapolis/St. Paul archdiocese. the Gospel of John when Lazarus is mitted.  not heard any prominent Catholic Church The Minneapolis StarTribune re- called out of the tomb by Jesus and be- clergy speak out on this catastrophe. ported that Dennis McGrath, the spokes- gins to live a new life. This is a metaphor man for the archdiocese, said people for gay and lesbian people who have just Barry U. students join others around in anti-bullying protest

By John Dorschner ``It was really difficult,'' Cohen said In Miami Beach, about 200 people at Barry, a Roman Catholic institution, The Miami Herald before the rally. turned out for a candlelight vigil that ran the focus was more general, covering October 20, 2010 ``I was out to my family and they from Drexel Avenue to Alton Road and bullying of all sorts, including against the weren't happy. They didn't even want me back on Wednesday night. Alex Febres, disabled. Gays were not mentioned di- Decrying the bullying that led to the to touch the refrigerator. And then to go 18, youth treasurer of Pridelines Youth rectly; the acronym LGBT was used recent suicides of seven youths, about to school and have that kind of harass- Services and a Miami Dade College stu- once. 100 people gathered at Barry University ment, it was like the last straw.'' dent, organized the event. Later, Mary Ross Agosta, spokes- Wednesday for a midday prayer vigil to Cohen said she had briefly suicidal Through Bible readings and short woman for the archdiocese, said the honor victims of oppression. thoughts about the incident, which hap- speeches, Barry students and officials church does not tolerate any form of vio- Wearing purple as part of a national pened at Dr. Michael M. Krop High talked about the need to publicly decry lence or hatred, against gays or anyone grass-roots Spirit Day rally, the crowd School in North Miami-Dade, but got bullying whenever then saw it. ``Do else. ``We don't ask anybody's orienta- heard Barry administrator Thomas Paul over them quickly. Others didn't. whatever you can to help end all dis- tion'' when they enter a church. But she Severino pray, ``Strengthen our resolve At the vigil, Severino read the names crimination,'' students were urged in a acknowledged that the church's formal to stand up for justice.'' of the seven who ``suffered violence, printed program. ``Let's not forget entire position is that sex is prohibited outside Among those in the audience on the hatred and oppression,'' including Tyler segments of our community.'' Severino, of marriage and Catholic doctrine firmly lawn facing the campus chapel was En- Clementi, the Rutgers student who the associate vice president for institu- states that marriage is between a man and bar Cohen, 22, a Barry senior who said jumped off a bridge after a roommate tional advancement, quoted Harvey a woman. she experienced a devastating attack in secretly taped him having sex. Milk, a celebrated gay San Francisco At the Barry rally, students were not high school when someone distributed The Barry vigil was one of several politician, ``Give them hope.'' focused on doctrine. Senior Providencia hundreds of fliers giving her name, events in Wilton Manors and elsewhere On Facebook, Spirit Day is dedicated Gousse said she knew that most of the phone number and address, saying she in South Florida Wednesday for ``Spirit to LGBT (lesbian gay bisexual trans- thousands of students had not attended was a lesbian ``willing to perform sexual Day -- It Gets Better'' -- a viral event that gender) youth who ``have committed the rally. ``This is just the beginning -- acts for you.'' spread quickly through news on you- suicide in recent weeks/months due to spreading the awareness to prevent sui- tube.com and Facebook. homophobic abuse.'' At the prayer vigil cide.''  Winter 2010-11 BONDINGS Page 9 'Angels in America' welcomes dialogue on campus By Heidi Alvarado University in Austin, Texas has banned The Collegian the gay support group Equality Texas St. Mary’s College, Moraga, California from the volunteer fair, and Seton Hall October 5, 2010 University in New Jersey had a commit- tee discussion about whether a course in A low hum echoes throughout the same-sex marriage should be allowed in chapel at Saint Mary's, as churchgoers the curriculum. The course was allowed, settle in for prayer. Meanwhile, students regardless of active protestors. bustle around the stage at LeFevre Thea- But one of Saint Mary's own tre, preparing for their upcoming perform- priests, Father John Morris OP, feels an ance academic setting is the place for a play This year the Catholic campus of of this nature. "A University should be a Saint Mary's College is putting on the place for open dialogue and discussion." production Angels in America, a script Tony Kushner premiered the play revolving around issues in the gay com- in 1991 and won the Pulitzer Prize in munity. 1993 for Angels in America: A Gay "College is the place to express one's Fantasia on National Themes. The plot individuality and beliefs," said Saint deals with many concerns the gay com- Mary's alumnus Elizabeth Godinez, munity has to face such as religion, "along with being a place where 'taboo' reputations, relationships, AIDS and subjects can be talked about in an open closeted sexual orientation. fashion." The Facebook group "Angels in Other Catholic colleges in America America at SMC" updates its members A scene from Angels in America are also having the subject of homosexu- about the production and welcomes ality brought up on campus. St. Edward's comments from students who are eager though he notes, "Any college should lic institution is allowing this type of to be a part of the show. never be hesitant to teach due to possi- production to go on." However, not all members of the ble negative responses." The cast for the play has been se- Lesbian community are excited about the up- Two years ago, alumni and donors lected and rehearsals are in session. The coming production. Father Morris men- withdrew their support after Bill Ayers play is broken into two parts, both of tioned there are people who think it is came to speak at the College. Students which will debut at Saint Mary's starting loses job after inappropriate and could bring up prob- wonder if the same reaction can be ex- November 11. The Facebook group an- lems with the donors and alumni. He pected. ticipates that the production will be wedding sees the issue on both sides of the Homosexuality is not a subject that huge: "History is about to crack wide Catholic faith: "The teachings are liberal we can avoid in today's society," Godi- open."  announcement but the Church is conservative," al- nez said. "I think it is great that a Catho-

ByLouise McFetridge news.PinkPaper.com November 12, 2010 Gay-friendly Catholic

A woman lost her job at a Catholic university after she posted a wedding an- Colleges and Universities nouncement for herself and her partner in the local paper, it is claimed. Below is a list of known gay-friendly Catholic colleges and universities, that is, those Catholic Laine Tadlock, director of education institutions that have some type of gay/lesbian student group, support group, ally group, etc. If you programs at Bene- are aware of such a college that is known as welcoming to gay/lesbian people, please let us know! dictine University in Springfield, California Chestnut Hill : Boston College Ohio Illinois, lost her Belmont : Notre Dame de Namur University Easton : Stonehill College Cincinnati : Xavier University job after placing a Goleta : St. Mark’s University North Andover : Merrimack College Cleveland Heights: John Carroll University wedding notice in Los Angeles : Loyola Marymount University, Weston : Regis College Dayton : University of Dayton the Springfield Mount Saint Mary’s College Worcester : Assumption College, Pepper Pike : Ursuline College Moraga : St. Mary’s College College of the Holy Cross South Euclid : Notre Dame College Journal-Register to Ranchos Palos Verde : Marymount College Sylvania : Lourdes College celebrate her mar- San Diego : University of San Diego Michigan riage to partner San Francisco : University of San Francisco Detroit: University of Detroit Mercy Oregon Laine Tadlock Kae Helstrom. Santa Clara : Santa Clara University Grand Rapids : Aquinas College Marylhurst : Marylhurst University The Chicago Sun Times reported that Portland : University of Portland Colorado Minnesota bosses at Benedictine knew that 60-year- Denver : Regis University Collegeville : St. John’s University Pennsylvania old Tadlock was a lesbian and only re- Duluth : College of St. Scholastica Cresson : Mount Aloysius College moved her from her post after she placed Connecticut Minneapolis : College of St. Catherine : Misericordia University the wedding announcement, which in- Fairfield : Fairfield University, St. Joseph : College of Saint Benedict Erie : Mercyhurst College cluded her position at Benedictine. Sacred Heart University St. Paul : St. Thomas University Greensburg : Seton Hill University The university stated that keeping her New Haven : Albertus Magnus College Winona : St. Mary’s University of Minnesota Philadelphia : Chestnut Hill College, LaSalle West Hartford : Saint Joseph College University, St. Joseph’s University in the role “would not be consistent with Missouri Pittsburgh : Carlow University, the university’s mission as a Catholic in- District of Columbia Kansas City: Avila University, Duquesne University stitution,” and that “aspects of her life- Georgetown University, Trinity University Rockhurst University Radnor : Cabrini College are incompatible with fundamental St. Louis : Fontbonne University, Reading : Alvernia University Catholic beliefs.” Florida St. Louis University Scranton : Marywood University Benedictine, advertises that they are Miami Gardens : St. Thomas University Villanova : Villanova University Miami Shores : Barry University Montana equal opportunities employers, offered Helena : Carroll College Rhode Island Tadlock early retirement under the pro- Hawaii Newport : Salve Regina University viso that she would waiver to filing a law- Honolulu : Chaminade University Nebraska Providence : Providence College suit against the university. Omaha : Creighton University After refusing this offer she was then Illinois Texas Chicago : DePaul University, New Hampshire propositioned with a newly created role as Austin : Saint Edward’s University Loyola University, St. Xavier University Nashua : Rivier College San Antonio : University of the Incarnate Word, director of accreditation, assessment and Romeoville : Lewis University Our Lady of the Lake University institutional effectiveness. Under the rea- New Jersey soning that she had turned down this role Indiana Caldwell: Caldwell College Vermont also, the university understood this as an Notre Dame : Holy Cross College, St. Mary’s Jersey City: St. Peter’s College Colchester : Saint Michael’s College effective resignation. College, University of Notre Dame South Orange : Seton Hall Washington The bishop of Springfield, John Pa- Iowa New York Lacey : St. Martin’s College procki, said the school “is to be com- Dubuque : Loras College Albany : College of Saint Rose Seattle : Seattle University mended for its fidelity to the truth in up- Bronx : Fordham University, Manhattan College Spokane : Gonzaga University holding the faith and morals as taught by Kentucky Buffalo : Canisius College the Catholic Church.” Louisville : Spalding University, Loudonville : Sienna College West Virginia “The bishops were concerned about Bellarmine University New Rochelle : College of New Rochelle, Wheeling : Wheeling Jesuit University Iona College my influence over parochial school teach- Louisiana Poughkeepsie : Marist College Wisconsin ers,” Tadlock said. “Helping students is New Orleans : Loyola University Riverdale : College of Mount St. Vincent De Pere : St. Norbert College my passion…” Rochester : Nazareth College of Rochester, Madison : Edgewood College Tadlock, who has held her post since Maryland St. John Fisher College Milwaukee : Alverno College, Cardinal Stritch 2007 and previously worked at public Baltimore : College of Notre Dame of St. Bonaventure : St. Bonaventure University University, Marquette University Maryland, Loyola College of Maryland Sparkill : St. Thomas Aquinas College elementary schools, is now exploring her Syracuse : LeMoyne College Canada options for legal recourse with the back- Massachusetts Queens : St. John’s University : Regis College ing of her former students.  Boston : Emmanuel College, Boston College Page 10 BONDINGS Vol. 30, No. 4 Knights, Minnesota archbishop endanger church neutrality

By Nicole Sotelo Then, last week, the Knights ven- On Sept. 22, NOM's public relations As Nienstedt speaks the lines that Ncronline.org tured into political propaganda even fur- firm issued a press release announcing it mirror those provided by NOM in other September 30, 2010 ther. had launched a television ad supporting settings, sitting over the archbishop’s Archbishop John Nienstedt of the St. Republican gubernatorial candidate Tom shoulder in the camera's frame is a strate- For the last 128 years, millions of Paul and Minneapolis archdiocese filmed Emmer. Their release reads: “Thirty-one gically-placed Knights of Columbus hat Catholic men have faithfully served the a DVD video message that was sent to other states have exercised their constitu- (see photos in this column). church through the Knights of Columbus' more than 400,000 Catholic households tional right to vote on marriage…. Mark While the archbishop does not ex- mission to help those in need. But do in Minnesota. Nienstedt exhorts Catho- Dayton and Tom Horner [the Independ- plicitly call on Catholics to vote for Re- today's 1.8 million members and their lics to take ence Party candi- publican candidate Tom Emmer, he does supporters know that their Supreme political ac- date for gover- not have to do so. Any Catholic Minne- Knight, Carl Anderson, is endangering tion in order nor] do not want sotan who watches the archbishop's their legacy by contributing their hard- to prevent the people of DVD and the candidate's television ad -- earned charitable dollars not to the civil marriage Minnesota to both issued in the same week -- receives needy, but to political battles? equality. have any say." a one-two punch and knows exactly who In October 2008, the Knights of Co- While the The release has the archbishop is championing. lumbus and the United States Conference archbishop is remarkably simi- The archbishop may not have ex- of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) an- careful not to lar wording to plicitly crossed over the IRS tax-exempt nounced that they had formed a partner- mention the the DVD mailed line, but -- with NOM's help -- he is ship. The Knights would fund the bish- name of the to Catholic walking the tightrope. By associating so ops' anti-marriage equality campaigns gubernatorial households the closely with a political organization, he and Carl Anderson himself would sit as a candidate for same week. In runs the risk of endangering the charita- consultant to the bishops’ ad hoc com- whom he the video ble status of the archdiocese and -- with mittee on the same topic. wishes Catho- Nienstedt says: that -- the hard-earned money with which Since then, the Knights of Columbus lics would "Thirty-one the Catholic faithful of the diocese have have contributed millions of dollars to vote, there are states have entrusted him. restrict the freedom to marry in state- a number of passed marriage Similarly, Carl Anderson who leads based political battles ranging from Cali- indicators that make it appear that this amendments and it is time for Minneso- the Knights of Columbus is risking fornia to Maine. DVD was not merely a faith-based edu- tans to have their say." While Nienstedt something perhaps even more hallow: Let me be clear that this was en- cational video sent to the faithful but takes care to not mention the political the legacy of the Knights of Columbus. gagement in political battles -- not efforts rather a politically-influenced campaign candidates, his sentence closely resem- Knights work year-round to raise money to simply promote among Catholics the tool supported by NOM and the Knights bles that of the press release for NOM's for the needy and promote service in the Vatican's teaching on same-gender mar- of Columbus: candidate. church. "Charity" is the first of their four riage, a teaching the majority of U.S. On Sept. 19, Catholic News Agency The next line from the archbishop in core principles. I imagine the majority of Catholics reject as unjust discrimination. reported that the archdiocese "brought in the DVD is: "A question as important as Knights never imagined that their Su- Since the Knights and the bishops Maggie Gallagher, head of the National the future of this great social institution preme Knight would take the money made their alliance, the Knights have Organization for Marriage, to discuss should not be decided by a ruling elite, meant for charity and contribute millions funneled money through the "National strategies for opposing the redefinition of but by the people of Minnesota them- of dollars not to the poor, but to political Organization for Marriage" (NOM), a marriage." Later, the article explained selves…. Let the people speak!" battles. political organization that seeks to deny why: "The issue is relevant to the gover- A television ad supporting Emmer Pope John Paul II referred to the same-gender couples the civil freedom to nor's race in Minnesota. Democratic- that NOM aired the same week, titled Knights of Columbus as "the strong right marry. Last year alone the Knights con- Farmer-Labor Party candidate Mark 'Most Important Civil Right,' includes arm of the Catholic Church." I can only tributed $1.4 million of its charitable Dayton supports same-sex 'marriage,' this line: "Shouldn't something this im- hope that the Knights do not let Carl contributions, not to the needy, but to while Republican candidate Tom Emmer portant be decided by Minnesota voters, Anderson change their mission from NOM, as listed in the 2009 Supreme does not." not politicians?.... Let the people vote!" knights who serve the church to knights Knight's Annual Report. who serve the political right.  Homophobia in the Church: What Catholics Are Doing About It, and What Still Needs to Be Done

By Michele Somerville married in them. Good question. I broke objections to homosexual marriage tend The Pope is smart enough to make Huffingtonpost.com it down for her. I told her a far greater not to fix upon the biblical notion that small accommodations in order to keep October 10, 2010 percentage of Catholics support gay mar- being gay is an "abomination." Indeed gay people in the pews. Gay people are riage than support the Vatican. I charac- some of the most holy among us enjoy currently welcome to receive the sacra- I attended a Roman Catholic baptism terized the failure of my church to offer the biblical abominations without the ments and serve in ministry, but remind- about two weeks ago. A crowd of young gay Catholics marriage in the church as slightest fear of being accused of sinful- ers from Vatican City never let it be for- parents and others of all ages stood in just that -- "a failure." And a sin. ness: we eat shrimp and pork at every gotten that only gay people who abstain semi-circle around the font. The atmos- There are many layers to the sin of opportunity, and we give little thought to entirely from sex are truly fit for the sac- phere was reverent yet festive. Toddlers homophobia that the leadership of the shaving our beards or to wearing linen raments. While the prohibition against all squirmed. The church was exquisite. Roman Catholic Church commits. Most with wool. sexual activity outside sacramental mar- Blades of late-morning light slid down people within and outside the church riage extends to straight, gay, bisexual through colored glass. The priest exuded know, for example, that the Vatican and transgendered people, it can hardly hope and delight as he kicked off the preaches homophobia and does not con- Catholics are leaving be said to apply equally to all when for a rites. As the two parents approached the secrate same-sex marriages. gay Catholic there is no sacramental font to offer their child to the church, I But many Catholics do not know that in droves, marriage option. began to tear up. My 11-year-old daugh- hundreds of thousands of their charitable Catholics are leaving in droves, but ter, not unaccustomed to my poet's pen- dollars to groups like Knights of Colum- but dissenters, dissenters, many of whom are gay, are chant for being capsized by moments so bus are currently being used to bankroll also staying in droves. On the matter of tender, saw my waterworks start up, the fight against legislation that would many of whom gay Catholics, the Holy See wishes to rolled her eyes as adolescents do, smiled, make civil gay marriage legal. have its cake and eat it, too. Thus, the and handed me a tissue. As I often do Most Catholics know that the church are gay, Pope blesses with one hand and pummels when my emotions get the best of me in is in a unique position when it comes to with the other. the presence of my children, I get all the question of gay marriage for several are also staying But the dissenters have a City of God pedagogical on them. I whispered side- reasons, not the least of which is that by in mind, too. bars to my girl: "That's the litany of the many estimates, more than 50 percent of in droves . The Ad Hoc Committee of the U.S. saints, it's beautiful when sung in Latin... Catholic priests are gay. Many Catholics Conference of Bishops, in its "Defense And that the part about Satan and the know that many of the bishops who set of Marriage," defines traditional Roman empty promises -- it's technically an ex- the homophobic agenda are themselves Catholic marriage as "a covenant be- orcism!" closeted gay men grappling with the psy- No, the Vatican's homophobia de- tween one man and one woman directed I didn't have to explain that it was no chological fallout of growing up gay in a rives from political and economic con- to the good of the spouses and the pro- ordinary baptism we were witnessing. hostile homophobic world and church. cerns, as well as from the larger erotic creation and education of children." Al- She knew it was extraordinary, because I Rumbling so ironically beneath the sur- dysfunction that pervades the church. though the traditional view is that mar- had taught her. The two parents at the face of the Catholic homophobia ques- Patriarchal heterosexual marriage keeps riage is first and foremost procreative, font were bravely (or so I believe) dem- tion is that even the most conservative the coffers filled. Two gay men or two there's more to it. There's the good of the onstrating their desire not to throw the Roman Catholic often has an expansive lesbians may have a few children but spouses. Were non-procreative marital baby out with the baptismal water. view of gay priests. Catholics of all they won't be easily coerced by doctrine sex viewed by the Magisterium as sinful, They were two gay dads asking a stripes agree that many of our finest to welcome a child a year. People who menopausal wives and sterile spouses church governed by bullies to bless their priests are gay. actually plan the size of their families would be called upon to abstain from sex child. Another unique feature of Roman aren't likely to make the kind of large even within marriage. But the bishops do My daughter later asked how it was Catholic homophobia has to do with the lockstep Catholic clans the Holy See not teach that all marital sex need be that gay people could have their children way we look at the Bible. Catholics don't envisions for its City of God. procreative. Allowances are made for sex baptized in Catholic churches but not be construe the Bible literally, so Catholic (Continued on page 12) Winter 2010-11 BONDINGS Page 11

Gay-friendly Catholic Parishes Below is a partial list of known “gay-friendly” Catholic parishes. Thank you for helping us add to this growing list! If you are aware of such a parish that is known as welcoming to lesbian/gay Catholics as members and active parishioners, please let us know. Tell us if this welcome is because of a support program, spirituality group, mission statement, participation in gay community events, or involvement with parents.

Fort Collins : Blessed John XXIII St. Ignace : St. Ignatius Loyola Westlake : St. Ladislas Genessee : St. Frances Cabrini Shrine Westland: Ss. Simon and Jude Wooster : St. Mary of the Immaculate Highlands Ranch : Pax Christi Conception Littleton : Light of the World, St Fran- Minnesota Oregon ces Cabrini Minneapolis : St. Frances Cabrini, Beaverton: Mission of the Atonement Alabama St. Joan of Arc Portland : Journey and Koinonia Montgomery : St. Bede Connecticut Catholic Community, St. Andrew, Hartford : St. Patrick-St. Anthony Missouri St. Phillip Neri, Downtown Chapel Arizona Kansas City : Guardian Angels, (St. Vincent de Paul) Mesa : Christ the King District of Columbia St. Francis Xavier, St. James Scottsdale : Franciscan Renewal Holy Trinity, St. Aloysius, St. Joseph: St. Francis Xavier Pennsylvania Center St. Matthew Cathedral St. Louis : St. Cronan, St. Margaret of Huntingdon: Most Holy Trinity Tucson : St. Cyril of Alexandria, Scotland, St. Pius V Philadelphia : Old St. Joseph, SS. Peter and Paul, St. Pius X, Florida Old St. Mary, St. John the Our Mother of Sorrows, St. Odilia Cocoa Beach: Our Savior Montana Evangelist, St. Vincent DePaul Ft. Lauderdale : St. Anthony, Billings : Holy Rosary, St. Pius X California St. Maurice Rhode Island Berkeley : Holy Spirit Parish Naples : St. John the Evangelist Nebraska Providence : St. Francis Chapel Burney : St Francis of Assisi St. Petersburg: Holy Cross Omaha : Holy Family, Sacred Heart Wickford : St. Bernard Carlesbad : St. Patrick Tampa : Franciscan Center, Claremont : Our Lady of the Sacred Heart, Christ the King Nevada Tennessee Assumption Las Vegas : Christ the King, Memphis : Cathedral of the El Cajon : St. Luke Georgia Guardian Angel Cathedral Immaculate Conception Encino : Our Lady of Grace Atlanta : Shrine of the Immaculate Escondido : St. Timothy Conception New Hampshire Texas Fremont : St. Joseph - Mission San Merrimack : St. John Neumann Colleyville: Good Shepherd Jose Illinois Pelham : St. Patrick Dallas : Holy Trinity Goleta : St. Mark Univ. Parish Berwyn : St. Mary of the Celle Houston : St. Anne Hawthorne : St. Joseph (Spanish) Chicago : Immaculate Conception, New Jersey Plano : St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Hayward : All Saints St. Clement, St. Gertrude, Clifton : St. Brendan LaPuente : St. Martha St. Gregory, St. Peter, St. Sylvester, Lawrenceville : St. Ann Virginia Lemon Grove : St. John of the Cross St. Teresa of Avila, St. Thomas the Long Beach Island : St. Francis of Arlington : Our Lady Queen of Peace Long Beach : St. Matthew Apostle, Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, Assisi Richmond : Cathedral of the Sacred Los Angeles : Blessed Sacrament, Old St. Patrick Trenton Falls : St. Anselm Heart, Sacred Heart Parish Christ the King, Mother of Good Clarendon Hills : Notre Dame Roanoke : St. Gerard Counsel, St. Camillus Center-LA Country Club Hills : St. Emeric New Mexico Triangle : St. Francis USC Medical Center (Spanish), Evanston : St. Nicholas Albuquerque: Holy Family, Virginia Beach : St. Nicholas St. Paul the Apostle Morton Grove : St. Martha Shrine of St. Bernadette North Hollywood : Blessed Sacrament, Oak Park : Ascension, St. Catherine of Espanola : Sacred Heart of Jesus Washington St. Jane Frances de Chantal, Sienna-St. Lucy Pullman: Sacred Heart St. Patrick Schaumburg : St. Marcelline New York Seattle : St. Benedict, Prince of Peace Oakland : Our Lady of Lourdes Baldwinsville : St. Augustine Newman Center Oceanside : St. Thomas More Indiana Bellmore : St. Barnabas the Apostle Tacoma : St. Leo Orange : Holy Family Cathedral, Evansville : St. Mary Bellport : Mary Immaculate Koinoia Indianapolis : St. Thomas Aquinas Brooklyn : St. Andrew the Apostle, Wisconsin Pleasanton : Catholic Community of St. Boniface, St. Athanasius, Madison : Our Lady Queen of Peace, Pleasanton Iowa St. Augustine St. Benedict Center Sunday Sacramento : St. Francis of Assisi Iowa City : St. Thomas More Deer Park: Ss. Cyril and Methodius Assembly San Carlos : St. Charles East Islip : St. Mary Menomonee Falls : Good Shepherd San Diego : Ascension, San Rafael, Kentucky Elmira : St. Mary Milwaukee : Good Shepherd, St. Jude Shrine Louisville : Epiphany, Cathedral of the Fairport : Church of the Assumption Prince of Peace, Trinity-Guadalupe San Francisco : Most Holy Redeemer, Assumption, St. William Henrietta: Good Shepherd Old St. Mary Cathedral, St. Agnes, Manhattan : Holy Name of Jesus, Canada St. Dominic Louisiana St. Francis Xavier, St. Paul the Montreal: Holy Cross San Jose : St. Julie Billiart, New Orleans : St. Augustine Apostle, Church of the Ascension, Ottawa : St. Joseph St. Martin of Tours (Emmaus St. Francis of Assisi Toronto : Our Lady of Lourdes Community) Maine Melville : St. Elizabeth San Luis Obispo : Old Mission of Portland : Sacred Heart-St. Dominic Pittsford : Church of the England San Luis Obispo Saco : Most Holy Trinity Transfiguration London : Our Lady of the San Rafael : Church of San Rafael & Rochester : Blessed Sacrament, Assumption & St. Gregory Mission San Rafael Archangel Maryland St. Mary (Downtown), St. Monica Santa Barbara : OL of Guadalupe Baltimore : Corpus Christi, St. Francis Syracuse : St. Lucy, All Saints To add your faith community to our Santa Clara : GALA of Assisi, St. Matthew, St. Philip Utica : St. Francis DeSales list, please contact New Ways Minis- Santa Cruz : Holy Cross and James, St. Vincent dePaul Wantaugh : St. Frances de Chantal Santa Monica : St. Monica Columbia : St. John the Evangelist Westbury : St. Brigid Simi Valley : St. Rose of Lima Gaithersburg : St. Rose of Lima Spring Valley : Santa Sophia Hagerstown : St. Ann North Carolina Valinda : St. Martha Severn : St. Bernadette Charlotte: St. Peter Vernon : Holy Angels Church of Durham : Immaculate Conception the Deaf Massachusetts Fayetteville : St. Patrick Walnut Creek : St. John Vianney Boston : Paulist Center, St. Anthony Raleigh : St. Francis of Assisi West Hollywood : St. Ambrose, Shrine, St. Cecilia St. Victor East Longmeadow : St. Michael Ohio Whittier : St. Mary of the Assumption Newton : St. Ignatius Akron : St. Bernard Sharon : Our Lady of Sorrows Cincinnati : St. George-St. Monica, Colorado Springfield : Sacred Heart St. Robert Bellarmine Arvada : Spirit of Christ Worcester : Holy Cross College Cleveland : Ascension of Our Lord, Avon : St. Edward St. Malachi, St. Martha Colorado Springs : Our Lady of Michigan Columbus : St. Thomas More Guadalupe, Sacred Heart Ann Arbor: St. Mary Student Parish Newman Center Denver : St. Dominic, Christ the King, Detroit : St. Leo, Christ the King Mentor : St. John Vianney Mount Carmel Kalamazoo : Lambda Catholics University Heights : Church of the Gesu Page 12 BONDINGS Vol. 30, No. 4 Catholic Voters Don't Want to Ban Gay Marriage By Michael A. Jones cial issues on the minds of Catholic vot- service to gays and lesbians, they found range of levels, in part because they Gayrights.change.org ers, concerns over gay people getting that support for repealing "Don't Ask, show that pro-equality Catholics actually October 13, 2010 married ran dead last. Don't Tell" was high among Catholics, make up a majority (or darn near major- That's right, despite the fact that the with 68 percent favoring a repeal of the ity) of the Church. These numbers also, The divide between the Catholic Church has invested heavily as an insti- law, to only 23 percent who wanted to hopefully, provide cover for religious Church as an institution and Catholics in tution in denying gay people the right to deny gays and lesbians the opportunity to leaders to challenge the conventional the pews has perhaps never been larger, get married -- especially in states like serve. wisdom that to be Catholic is to be anti- at least in regards to the issue of same- Maine, California, Minnesota, Rhode Numbers like these are pleasing on a gay . sex marriage. While the institutional Island, New York, and New Jersey -- Here's hoping they also serve as an Church spends a significant amount of Catholic voters care more about ... well, impetus for Catholics in the pews to resources trying to ban gay marriage and pretty much everything, than they do challenge the institutional Church, much supporting organizations that are decid- about preventing same-sex marriage. like they have been doing in places like edly anti-gay, Catholics themselves have Create your own analogy here about Minnesota, to stop spending resources so little to no interest in standing in the way how misplaced and messed up the priori- poorly. Economic troubles? Stopping of marriage equality. ties of the institutional Catholic Church war? Unemployment? Healthcare? Those Exhibit A goes to the Pew Forum on are right now. It would be like giving are issues that merit significant resources Religion & Public Life, which presented millions of dollars to fund the creation of from the Church. But spending millions at the National Press Club today to dis- 8-tracks or VCRs. In other words, a lot to fund groups like the National Organi- cuss the role of religion and religious of money wasted. zation for Marriage, or to produce hun- voters in the upcoming November elec- In Pew's report about Catholics and dreds of thousands of anti-gay DVDs to tions. Among the topics touched on by same-sex marriage, they found that close mail to Catholic families? folks from the Pew Forum was same-sex to 50 percent of all Catholics support the Nobody wants that. Least of all marriage, with a particular nod to Catho- right of same-sex couples to get married. Catholics themselves.  lic voters. Among major political or so- And on the issue of opening up military Homophobia in the Church: What Still Needs to Be Done

(Continued from page 10) the preponderance of variations on the Uncle Frank thing." (I'd have said the originates in and takes its license from they characterize as "unitive." Sex to following plot: kid comes out to his par- same thing about an "Aunt Franny.") But worship communities. keep the marriage strong, in other words, ents, kid gets beaten by his parents, kid once I met Scott's beloved, I wanted him Many priests like Georgetown sociol- has a divine purpose. I like this idea; It runs away, kid is victimized by street to be "Uncle Frank." I wanted my chil- ogy professor and author Joseph reminds me of how Shabbos (marital) predators, kid tries to make it all go away dren to witness my brother's freedom to Palacios, who co-founded Catholics for sex is thought by many Jews to be a mitz- with an accidental overdose. The preoc- claim his right to love in a committed, Equality, speak out courageously against vah . While committed gay partners obvi- cupation with suicide seemed to go be- authentic, whole and holy way. I jumped injustice as it pertains to gay people ously cannot have procreative sex, they yond depression. These young men had at the chance to present "Uncle Frank" to within and outside of the Roman Catho- can and do certainly have the unitive learned self-hatred early. The musings on my children and saw the opportunity to lic Church, but Ratzinger and his legions kind, yet the Catholic Church hierarchy suicide seemed not so much about the do so as a blessing, for there may be no are doing all they can to silence such persists in depriving LGBT people of desire to end one's own misery as about lesson more important than teaching chil- men. It may be safer for a priest to sod- this mitzvah (blessing) on the grounds seeking to murder oneself. Sexual iden- dren to eschew bigotry in all its guises. omize a child than to challenge the Vati- that marriage is essentially procreative tity is not an incidental or add-on; it in- Very recently, around the time of can's position on gay marriage. even while teaching that marriage is not fuses one's whole self. what would have been my brother's 51st How odd it is that as bishops begin to exclusively procreative. birthday, I received a press release de- close down parishes for reasons of eco- It's no secret that Ratzinger's enmity What is a church scribing Equally Blessed, a new group nomic hardship, Catholic funding can be and the bishops' disrespect for LGBT formed by four Catholic organizations: found to support efforts to defeat civil people runs deep. The bishop of the good for if it requires DignityUSA, Fortunate Families, New marriage legislation outside the church. Brooklyn and Queens diocese has al- Ways Ministry and Call to Action. (The Holy See doesn't recognize the civil ready been caught on the radio compar- its people to divorce Equally Blessed is "a coalition of faithful marriages of Catholics!) The readiness to ing homosexual love to bestiality. A themselves from Catholics who support full equality for use Catholic donations to stop civil legis- child being educated in Catholic schools lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender lation indicates an increasing willingness learns that only gay men and women who they are? (LGBT) people both in the church and in on the part of church leaders to export who abstain from sex are worthy of the What is a church civil society." Three of the Catholic or- Roman Catholic homophobia into the sacraments, but that sinful heterosexual ganizations that comprise Equally secular world. Too many leaders (of vari- lovemaking is transformed by a sacra- good for if it’s not a Blessed have been in existence for more ous sects) lend their seals of approval to ment (marriage) powerful enough to ren- sanctuary for all who than 30 years. Call to Action has 25,000 those who would couch homophobic der the sexual aspect of love a radiant members. Support for gay marriage in messages in doctrine or scripture, and reflection of Christ's love, from which would come out of the Roman Catholic Church is strong and use their spiritual and psychological lev- radiance the Vatican insists gay Catho- on the increase. Like Equally Blessed, erage -- and cash donations -- to cheat lics should be excluded. the closet? Catholics for Equality, a group newly LGBT people out of their legal and Fortunately, many gay Catholics, and formed to "draw on the rich Catholic moral rights. so many others in the church, disregard Which is why the "love the sinner, tradition of social justice teaching" to Until the homophobes in Vatican the perverse and tyrannical efforts of the hate the sin" principle does not apply. advocate for "equality for lesbian, gay, City grow up decide it is time to "reject bishops to police the sex lives of Catho- Being gay is not a sin. bisexual, and transgendered (LGBT) of Satan... and all his empty promises," all lics and discern. But tuning out the ha- My brother Scott came out of the any religious group on the United States" Catholics -- but especially catechists, tred the bishops disseminate may not be closet about a decade ago at the age of 42 currently denounces the use (or misuse, pastors and parents of children receiving enough when it comes to homophobia. and died three years later. I still can't get rather) of Catholic resources to prevent religious instruction -- need to step in as When the daughter of the two afore- my head around the idea that he didn't civil gay marriage reform. It is important godparents to our leaders, summon the mentioned dads undertakes preparation come out to me sooner. We were very for active Catholics to support groups Holy Spirit, and work for peace by wag- to receive the sacraments, it is entirely close; we both knew that I would have like Equally Blessed and Catholics for ing war on homophobia -- which people possible that she will be exposed to the celebrated his coming out. When he fi- Equality because secular homophobia do die of.  diluted version of the "God hates fags" nally did come out, we talked about why message that issues from the Vatican he had waited so long. "I couldn't come today. Parents like hers will surely inter- out to myself," he said. You can stay in touch with the latest news and opinions fere; they will come between her and the What is a church good for if it re- concerning the Catholic Church and the LGBT community hideous so-called "Christian" message. quires its people to divorce themselves by visiting New Ways Ministsry’s website Such vigilance can help to protect the 10 from who they are? percent of children in the pews who hap- What is a church good for if it's not a pen to be gay, but Catholics must not sanctuary for all who would come out of leave this work to gay Catholic parents the closet? www.newwaysministry.org alone. Pastors, catechists and parents I have vivid memories of our father's who fail to challenge homophobia help disapproval of Scott in childhood. When You can also find information on the website to make the church a dangerous place for I look at my own children, I find it al- gay children and keep the world outside most unbearable to imagine them suffer- about programs, events, and resources the church safe for bigotry. ing such a lack of acceptance at home. which may be helpful to you and your faith community. I worked for more than a decade As the parent of a child with a develop- teaching writing in New York high mental disability, I have seen close-up schools and colleges, during which time I how damaging the failure to educate Please consider becoming came to notice that the autobiographical children about prejudice can be. No child New Ways Ministry’s writing of many of my gay male students should ever learn from a trusted adult frequently contained talk of suicide. So that it is somehow unholy to be gay. That friend on Facebook common were these accounts of suicide truly is an abomination. and attempts and fantasies that I came to ex- My children were about eight and following us on Twitter. pect them, as cultural norms, almost, in four when their Uncle Scott brought his coming-out/coming-of-age narratives. I partner, to whom he referred as "Uncle was as confounded as I was alarmed by Frank." I told him to "slow down on the