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 e WEEK Independent  Student LENT Newspaper  est. 1947 Friday 3rd February 2012 Issue No 752 | .co.uk

3News: David 5 Science: David Nutt talks about falling out with 16 Film: on his 22 Sport: Ladies Blues continue their Miliband the government over drug policy unexpected rise to success winning form I’m an undergraduate... get me out of here!

by Stephanie Barrett Not only has it surpassed previous The land race saw more intense DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR years in sponsorship and participant rivalry, as Team 150 narrowly beat “Good teachers fi gures, but the mileage the escapee Team 33 by just 35 miles, reaching MUSIC Leonard Cohen, Cambridge RAG’s annual Jailbreak is prisoners amassed is the most impres- Marcia, Spain ahead of their oppo- Cloud Nothings realise that the set to smash all fundraising records, as sive to date. nents, who made it to Suwalki, Poland they envisage raising over £50,000 for  e teams overall travelled to over without taking any planes. Team 150’s You Can’t Read students are the their chosen charities. 28 countries in just 36 hours, accumu- Daisy and Husein both receive a Big- BOOKS The event is RAG’s biggest sin- lating 100,000 miles – the equivalent Fish Ents Life Pass. is Book antenna; they are gle-event fundraiser, which last year of travelling the earth’s circumference With students dressed as anything contributed £40,000 to the annual over four times. Students reached as from Mario Brothers to Mr Men, e Descendants sensing things that Cambridge RAG total of approximately far as Los Angeles, New York, Miami, teams sought to make the experience FILM £150,000. Hong Kong and Dubai – all without as entertaining as possible. Poppy and the teachers don’t This year, however, the Jailbreak spending a penny of their own money. Clare from Homerton, respectively an Committee is confi dent that the total The winners, Team 111, remark- asparagus and carrot for the weekend, ART Grey Matters at the yet sense” sponsorship amount, when confi rmed ably fl ed 6,705 miles from Cambridge busked for money and ended up in in March, will exceed this by more to Singapore, trumping last year’s win- Amsterdam. than £10,000, considering the unprec- ning team who reached Buenos Aires, Equally extraordinary were Team edented scale of the event. Argentina. 159, Aaron and Yichaun, who, dodg- THEATRE yestes, “Delighted” at its success, Treasurer The triumphant first years Mat- ing traffi c on dual carriageways, ran to Wolfson Howler Owen Jones feels “the target is very ilda Carr, from St. John’s College, and London. achievable given the number of partici- Matthew Walton, from Trinity Hall,  ose who spent last weekend in the

pants and the distances they managed succeeded in having their entire jour- library struggled to contain their jeal- WEEKEND >

to travel.” ney and accommodation funded by an ousy as updates fed in from the likes of 5 Already the committee is hearing of American businessman who they met Team 23, who borrowed skiwear from WEATHER 0 individual teams raising over £500 and en route. friends in London before heading off to 2

several individual donations of £67 for  ey excitedly posted to the RAG Canada and Team 104, who checked in 0 0

the winning team, who were sponsored website’s live feed: “probably gonna to  e Ritz, Dubai. 4

on a penny-per-mile basis…and then struggle to make Monday lectures…” Whilst participants are now trapped 4 travelled more than 6,000 miles. As if a free trip to Singapore wasn’t once more in the Cambubble, it is not 4 8

More teams took part in Jailbreak enough, the victorious pair receive tick- too late to sponsor a deserving team. 5 7

Interview: 2012 than ever before and with 300 ets to the Robinson May Ball  e money goes to RAG’s selected ten 1 7 10 participants, this makes the event the Coming 782 miles behind Matilda charities, as listed on their website, 7

largest student-run Jailbreak the UK and Matthew was second-place Team www.cambridgerag.org.uk. 9 has ever seen. 110, who reached Hong Kong. ●  e Great Escape page 4 forget to check out our brand new Podcast section online! PS. Don’t 1CM 1CM 2 EDITORIAL february 3 2012 — week 3

I still believe that if your aim is to change the world, journalism is a more immediate short-term weapon. – EDITORIAL

...24 pages of words, pictures, facts, opinions, thoughts, clues, statements, Inside conclusions, insinuations and the occasional flashof genius... Dissent: there’s more to DIgITAL cOnTEnTs nEws university than a degree Blogs: Interview 5 Tony Benn 4 he student protests against beliefs as students. Varsitech: ‘Equality or GTFO’ - Jake The Great Escape Government cuts to higher The space that not only Varsity Harris tells us why boys who play Hear the story behind this year’s Jailbreak champions education resources are but the university experience as a game don’t like girls who play game. surely one of the starkest whole provides is central not only to memories of the last academic year. expressing our views, but formulat- Varsity Blues: ‘Motivational Even those not directly involved will ing and coming to understand them Millions - Rory Boyd asks whether T FEATuREs recall the banners decorating the in the first place. Studies published we should be worried about the exterior of the Senate House, the in The Financial Times on Monday African football teams getting strains of music heard from beyond detailed “messy and haphazard million dollar bonuses for sporting Enotes 10 the railings, and perhaps even the reforms” to the university admis- success. impromptu games of football played sions system, in which higher fees A brief insight into the varied artistic career of Brian Eno across the frosty lawn that December. and lower subsidies will create market Verified: ‘Guns and Bananas’ As for those current first-years who conditions in which universities are - George Baker takes a look at had not yet arrived in Cambridge, set in direct competition to appeal to the original banana republic; its the cenotaph stunt splashed across applicants (or, as the FT aptly terms it, government, sponsored by the MusIc headlines arrived just about the same “customers”), thereby, in theory, forc- Unified Fruit Company. time as their offer letters, providing ing teaching standards up. It is noted, a rather misleadingly rambunctious though, that increasingly the greatest Vetements: ‘The Void at Dior’ - 14 introduction to Cambridge life. concern amongst applicants is their Kristina Bugeja wonders whether King Creosote Studying here in Cambridge cer- perceived job prospects. the sacking of John Galliano has left interview’s King Creosote & Jon Hopkins Varsity tainly does open up innumerable While this assists institutions who Dior rudderless. about their recent collaboration, ‘Diamond Mine’ opportunities to broaden our hori- offer clearly vocational courses, those Vice: ‘Cake With Kate: Auntie’s’ In zons, both in academic study and universities who fall in the ether the means provided to communicate between polarities of the prominent Helena Pike’s latest stop on a round- BOOks trip of Cambridge Caffs we look in our discoveries, ideas and opinions red-brick and career-geared will find at Auntie’s for banana cake and ice effectively. Our libraries are filled to it difficult to survive. Most concern- cream. the rafters with books, and funding ing of all is the diminishing concept Righting the world?15 is given at every turn for the pursuit of the university experience as a plat- Vulture: ‘The J-Word: Black Does writing books actually change anything for the better? of everything from theatre produc- form for discovery and expression. In American Music’ - Alex Hithcock tions, your own personal chapbook fact, as Stefan Collini, professor here continues his tour through the of poems, and even (our favourite) at Cambridge, stated publicly this dreaded J-Word by asking ‘what’s in a grant available “for strenuous out- week, applicants may, in any case, be a name?’ door excursions, preferably amongst “wrong about what many employers ART mountains.” w a n t .” Protest for change is certainly It is exactly such an awareness that Team List (Figure of dissent) necessary; the power to express ideo- we need to remember in the midst of Where’s Weiwei? 17 logical beliefs, though, in writing, art, our academic life here. The skills we Editors Madeleine Morley and Louise Benson [email protected] (Yoko Ono) Blurring the line between fashion and architecture cinema, music, theatre, and even our gather outside of our degrees are to Business Manager Michael Derringer weekly studies, can be more effec- be valued and carried forward – to [email protected] (Robin Hood) Senior Arts Editor Zoe Large tive than more explicit stunts – and overlook this is to miss out on a huge [email protected] (Joan of Arc) potentially save you a lot of face. amount. News Editor Matt Russell We ought to use all such mediums [email protected] (Giuseppe Garibaldi) sPORT to look towards a different social land- Online Editor James Vincent [email protected] (Clay Shirky) scape, and not only lament the state of Science and Theatre Editor Helen Cahill things as they stand. Varsity stands to [email protected] (Guy Fawkes) Blues Lose 24 be used as a forum for such protest: it Perspectives Editor Emily Fitzell [email protected] (Arthur Rimbaud) Disappointing post-Varsity loss to Durham exists as a forum for debate, dissent, Features Editor Katy Browse and the occasional diatribe. Most of [email protected] (Bob Dylan) all, it is a space in which to express our Music Editor Rory Williamson [email protected] (Harvey Milk) Books Editor Charlotte Keith DOn’T FORgET [email protected] (Doris Lessing) Madeleine Morley & Louise Benson Film/TV Editor India Ross Editors, Lent 2012 [email protected](Alex DeLarge) TheVarsity Crossword 23 Art Editor Holly Gupta [email protected] (Valerie Solanas) Fashion Editors Claire Healy & Naomi Pallas [email protected] (Sean Parker) Sport Editors Laura Kirk, Olivia Fitzgerald, Adam Fuller sweet-figured single stripper on recur- mind that, if these things had no appeal It’s a consumer’s market and so audi- [email protected] (Zinedine Zidane) Post VarsiTV Editor Vicki Perrin ring display there. Stripped to nothing whatsoever to younger generations, ences will dictate what television is [email protected] (Rosa Parks) Paloma the Polish stripper but heels and maybe a hairpiece, Paloma they would not have become tradition made from the comfort of their living Podcasts Editor Patrick Sykes [email protected] (A. J. Hackett) worked the attentive audience simply in the first place. room. Whatever they decide, it is not Head of Investigations Isabella Cookson Dear Editors, by walking back and forth with abso- fiona love fair for you to launch broad and base- [email protected] (Ghandi) Michal Murawski’s detailed report lutely no expression on her beautiful Pembroke College less criticism based on the idea of Business & Advertising Associate Tristan Dunn on the Stalin-era Palace of Culture in face, making never a suggestion of a via facebook artistic integrity. [email protected] (Sid Vicioous) Warsaw brought back vivid memories. seductive move with any of her delec- jacob z klimaszewski Chief Sub Editor Alice Bolland (Oscar Wilde) In 1988-89, when the Communist gov- table body parts. The Decline and Fall of British TV? via facebook Design Louise Benson and Madeleine Morley Response to last weeks TV comment Chief Illustrator Lizzie Marx ernment was routed by followers of kevin lewis Solidarity and the first free elections Visiting fellow, Wolfson College Week 3 Sub Editors Emily Chan, Bryony Bates, Jennifer l Bottomley were held as we departed in June, via email Dear Editors, Apologies to last weeks Sub-Editors, Varsity Board Dr Michael Franklin (Chair), Prof. Peter I taught eager young people at the Who on earth are you to judge the Orlando Lazar-Gillard, Jennifer Robinson, Dr Tim Harris, Mr Chris Wright, Mr Michael Jagiellonian Univ. in Krakow on a For folk’s sake! British public for their viewing prac- Bottomley, Stephanie Darin and Derringer, Ms Alice Hancock (Varsity Society President), Fulbright. When my wife and I occa- In regards to last week’s tices? They are not forced to watch Jonathan Booth, who were omitted from Ms Charlotte Wu, Mr Rhys Treharne, Mr Laurie Martin, Ms sionally visited Warsaw we invariably folk comment piece television, and I don’t believe they last week’s team list. Louise Benson & Ms Madeleine Morley hit the nightclub in the basement of the would struggle to find other leisure “Palace” - yes, “grotesquely outsized,” Dear Editors, activities if they truly hated everything NEWSPAPERS Varsity, Old Examination Hall, Free SUPPORT School Lane, Cambridge CB2 3RF. as Murawski puts it. In that nightclub ‘Folk is uncool. The young don’t get on the schedules. RECYCLING Recycled paper made Tel 01223 337575. Fax 01223 up 77.4% of the raw we enjoyed Hungarian champagne for excited by the idea of tradition any The programming is carefully material for UK 760949. Varsity is published by newspapers in 2010 NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT Varsity Publications Ltd. $1.00 a bottle and floor shows in the more than the old get excited by the researched and tailored to meet con- RECYCLING Varsity Publications also publishes BlueSci and . arena encircled by tables often filled avant-garde.’ temporary trends and attitudes. If you ©2012 Varsity Publications Ltd. All rights reserved. No part of this with men of Mediterranean or African On the contrary, there is quite a large find it wanting, blame the audiences publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or trans- mitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical pho- origin. and enthusiastic community of young that applaud it and justify its creation. tocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the Nothing in that delightful club is people interested in folk music and Producers are frightened of producing publisher. Printed at Iliffe Print Cambridge — Winship Road, Milton, Cambridge CB24 6PP on 48gsm UPM Matt Paper. Registered as a more memorable than the person of other traditions, both at Cambridge work that is too challenging, or doesn’t newspaper at the Post Office. ISSN 1758-4442 Paloma, stage name for the blonde, and elsewhere. It is worth bearing in have mass market appeal. WEEK 3 — FEBRUARY 3 2012 NEWS 3

INTERVIEW

Cutting edge David Miliband snippets A mysterious attacker has been Labour MP and former Secretary of surreptitiously cutting squares of clothing off unaware library goers State for Foreign and Commonwealth in what has been described as the strangest behavior yet in the Affairs speaks to Matt Russell about his University Library.  e suspect, thought to be dressed in a mind- blowing patchwork suit, has been family, the Living Wage campaign and leaving unsuspecting readers with squares missing from their clothing the future of the Labour party for over a week now. Students and fellows alike have fallen victim. Having miscalculated t has been a peculiar few years for many ways, been one of comparisons, the lights timer and fi nding David Miliband. Once an infl u- not just to his brother and his father but themselves in darkness, they ential voice in frontline politics, to those in the Labour party too. Having reported hearing a strange snipping he is now a quiet backbencher been an important fi gure in the forma- noise, only to discover that a square after losing out on the Labour tion of the New Labour image, he has of their clothing was missing. leadership to his brother, Ed. often been categorised as a ‘Blairite’. In addition, the attacker has been  ough the signs of a busy political life He is keen to distance himself from preying on students who enjoy Iwere clear as he sat down to speak to such labels without dismissing the value switching the light off when in the Varsity, his personal and political dif- of New Labour.  is was clear in rela- lift. Installed as an energy-saving fi culties of recent years were kept fi rmly tion to the sensitive issue of the war in device, the light switch has since under wraps. Iraq. David Miliband wants to open dialogue to tackle the living wage problem been appropriated by students who He certainly did not take long to get Miliband was blunter in his appraisal like to feel like they’re in a sci-fi fi lm. into his stride as he refl ected on how the than Blair’s recent equivocation on the for being here: the Living Wage cam- the living wage. His message was plain:  e practice is being discouraged social context of his upbringing meant war: “Obviously I would not have sup- paign. Earlier in the morning he had “ ose institutions that are able to lead since six students emerged from the a father with a more radical political ported it because there were no WMDs. spoken with the Cambridge University the way in paying the living wage should lift unaware of a seventh person, ideology than his son: “I grew up in a If we had known then what we know Labour Club about the living wage, and pay it as it is the right thing to do. each with a square of their clothing period where Britain was having indus- now, there wouldn’t have been a war.” was positive in pressing the importance “ ere is the basic principle of the missing. trial strike, but nothing like the kind of of the issue: “I am here to support the dignity of labour in all this.” One librarian said: “We urge problem 1930s and 40s.” ‘If we had known then Living Wage campaign, the idea that  ough there is an ulterior motive students to use the lifts like normal Family ties have followed Miliband cleaners and security and others can get behind Miliband’s support of the living people, leave plenty of time on light around for much of his career – his what we know now, a wage that allows them to cover for the wage as a way of engaging students in a timers and under no circumstances brother was a surprise winner in the there wouldn’t have been basics of life.” political exercise, his commitment to the browse the stacks using only the Labour leadership contest two years He believes that the answer to living cause is clear, as is his wish to bridge the light of a mobile.” Police have ago. Constant rumours of a fractured a war. Defi nitely not.’ wage lies not in legislation, but dialogue large gap between the top and bottom released an e-fi t that looks like relationship have evidently given David and political activity: “I don’t think earners. Whatever past associations every person on the planet and an air of caution over anything that Now, with worries over the relation- that the national government should there may be with New Labour, David advised students to avoid the dark could be misconstrued regarding his ship with Iran, Miliband is critical of legislate for it; it’s right that we have a Miliband remains focused on helping to of the Library. brother. the government’s move to shut down minimum wage not a living wage, but forge the party’s future. Asked about whether he would its embassy in Tehran: “ e day Britain essentially we know that there is a great change the way the Labour party elect closed its embassy in Tehran was a very polarisation of wages.” their leader, he hesitates and is at his sad day for British diplomacy.” In preparation for the day, as well as most tentative, avoiding mentioning However, he was reluctant to com- reading Varsity, he spoke to university his brother directly: “I think that that’s ment on the incumbent Foreign offi cials about opening up a dialogue something my – er – the leader of the Secretary for fear of being perceived as with students on the issue. party will have to address when it comes catty.  ough relaxed, his political nous “It’s not just about standing outside to maintaining a healthy balance.” was never far away as he quickly added: with a megaphone, but actually about He does sheepishly admit, though, “I appreciate that it closed the embassy saying here’s a real problem, there’s no that he cannot do the Rubik’s Cube, under intense provocation from the Ira- costless solution but let’s work through What career involves fi nance, economics, while Ed can manage it in an impressive nians but the only people who win from the right way of doing it.” law, buildings and allows you to travel? 90 seconds. its closure are the hardliners in Iran.” I asked, then, about the importance Miliband’s political career has, in We then turned to David’s real reason of the University and colleges paying PROPERTY! The Cambridge University Land Society is hosting a talk and drinks reception at 5.30pm on Tuesday 21st February 2012 at Corpus’ silver smelted Lucia Windsor Room by Laura Rowson Paul Brown, prosecuting, told Newnham College NEWS CORRESPONDENT Cambridge Magistrate’s Court the sil- Sidgewick Avenue verware was “totally irreplaceable.” Cambridge  e police have charged Scott  omas Appearing in court via a video link CB3 9DF with the theft of silverware from Corpus from prison last Friday,  omas admit- Christi College. ted to handling the stolen silverware,  e set of silver was stolen on the as well as another charge of handling International property bankers, global property developers 9th January after a chest residing in stolen goods. and fund managers will talk about their careers the sanctuary of the college chapel was  e eff ects of the theft continue to and the job opportunities in the industry. smashed open. be felt by members of the college. A Numerous senior people from the industry will also be  ree pieces had been recovered and student at Corpus has expressed his it has now emerged that the remaining £10,640 worth of silver has been lost sadness that the chapel is now con- available to talk to you during drinks. pieces have been melted down and are stantly chained and padlocked as a lost forever. immediately informing the local police. consequence of the theft. Corpus has The event is free and all are welcome. Serial thief Scott  omas has been Thomas told police where the a well-renowned silver collection. Yet committed to Crown Court for sen- remaining stolen items were located it is an uncomfortable refl ection that To book your place please email Kathy Wallen at tencing, after admitting 18 charges, but offi cers regrettably reached them in order to protect its artifacts from including trying to sell the stolen silver- too late, finding £10,640 worth of light-fi ngered thieves, Corpus may [email protected] ware to an antiques dealer. antique silverware melted down before have to lock out those who simply wish  e antiques dealer in question, Ste- they could retrieve it. to enjoy and admire its beauty and Kindly sponsored by: phen Hunt, helped to recover three Hunt purchased the items for £30, architecture. silver religious artifacts, after they after  omas said he had been clearing At a time when many colleges are were brought into his shop for valua- out some items and wanted to sell them increasingly restrictive about allowing tion. Hunt acted with great presence for £100.  is suggests that  omas access to members of the public, events of mind, purchasing the items from the had very little idea of their true value such as this provide only greater justifi - suspicious-acting  omas and then and was acting opportunistically. cation for keeping people out. 4 neWS febRuARy 3 2012 — Week 3

Catz worker claims harassment Cambridge A computer assistant at St Catharine’s College who suffers from epilepsy has claimed she was “bullied and harassed” into retirement . Jennifer Tucker, 61, appeared at The Great Escape an employment tribunal at Bury St Varsity follows the journey of the 150 teams who made a break for it over the weekend, Edmund’s on Monday. After starting to take medication covering more than 100,000 miles, and raising over £50,000 for RAG charities for her epilepsy in January 2010, she received an appraisal from her supervi- sor raising questions about the quality of her work. Ms Tucker said the series of devel- opment meetings which followed her appraisal were oppressive and more like a trial. She said: “I was being routinely criti- The Winners’ Story cised and demeaned, and my views and evidence ignored.” Stephanie barrett speaks to Matt Walton, of winning Te a m 111, about the chance encounter that On Tuesday, however, the tribunal heard that Ms Tucker made students turned out to be their lucky break, and how it felt to arrive in Singapore feel “foolish and unwelcome”. The result of the tribunal is expected sking Matt whether he and Cambridge and London and even Singapore, a hotel for two nights and JaiLbreaking soon. Matilda ever envisaged win- buying £9 tube tickets to Heathrow, the arranged for a colleague, Teo Seng Ee, reCordS ning Jailbreak, he exclaims pair decided to head to the Oxbridge to collect the pair from the airport Trinity buys stake in Tesco “absolutely not!” Given the Alumni Club at approximately 3pm. and take them out for a meal. He even series of chance events which led to 10 metres after starting to shake their offered them spending money, which hours: 36 Cambridge A Trinity College, Cambridge’s what he describes as “the most memo- fundraising bucket en route, they met they declined. richest college, has acquired 11 Tesco rable 36 hours of our lives”, Matt and businessman Ron. He told them: “I want you guys to Teams: 150 stores worth £440m. Matilda’s story almost had an entirely He donated £20 and the team contin- win. I felt like I hadn’t done anything The investment amounts to a fifty different ending. ued walking, when 2 minutes later, Ron good this week.” Participants: 300 percent stake in the supermarket. “Our original plan was to go straight ran to catch up with them and offered After excited celebrations, the team The portfolio includes stores in to Heathrow, buy £80 flights to the his support. set off to Heathrow. Now being deter- Countries: 28 London, Bradford and Doncaster, as nearest place with the money raised “He told us he was in a meeting until mined to win and establishing Team well as a development site in Wool- and hitchhike by road from there the 6pm but to go to a travel agent until 111’s destination of Singapore, talk Total miles travelled: 100,000 wich, south-east London. next day!” then. He asked: ‘If you could maybe get turned to tactics and they decided to This is the first time the college has However, after fundraising around flights to somewhere like South Africa, post onto the RAG online map only that Furthest travelled (air): 6,705 invested in a supermarket, although it do you think you could win?’ they were heading to an “undisclosed (Singapore) has a property portfolio worth more “It felt like a dream when it dawned on location”, to avoid other long-haulers than £800m. us that the unbelievable had happened trying to overtake them. Furthest travelled (land): 982 (Spain) It is the biggest development in the and we actually may have a chance of Matt and Matilda, 12 hours later, college’s investment since it bought the not just getting out of the country but were going shopping for shorts and anticipated money raised: £50,000+ lease to the O2 Arena in 2009. actually winning!” flip-flops before retiring to the Orchard Whilst waiting for Ron to meet them Parade Hotel. Matt recalls they just kept and “surreal”, a dazed and still extremely Cambridge academics after his interview, the pair were terri- looking at each other and “shaking our excited Matt finished by saying: “we feel fied he would not return, or would have heads in disbelief.” like the luckiest people ever. weigh the world rethought his proposal. Upon waking up at 4am for the Jail- “You hear about these things hap- However, they reconvened with him break results, they were “ecstatic.” pening but you never think it’ll happen Cambridge A group of academics from 30 minutes earlier than expected, to the As champions, they then spent their to you – two first year medics who met the have welcome, “Hey, I bet you guys thought day watching the sunrise by the pool, incidentally over the dissection table.” helped answer BBC Radio 4’s ques- you’d never see me again! Have a little touring the city, orchard gardens and tion about the weight of the earth this faith!” waterfront, before flying home on Thank you to all of those who week. Not only had Ron returned but he Monday. contriuted photographs. The recent crash landing of Russian The winners arrive in Singapore! had booked them two return flights to Describing the experience as “insane” Special thanks to Husein Meghji spacecraft Phobos-Grunt has focused attention on the impact of space junk orbiting the planet. Dr Chris Smith and Dave Ansell drew up a balance sheet. They found that dust falling from space and the Earth’s rising tempera- ture are making it heavier. But the Earth’s core is gradually losing energy over time and gases such as hydrogen are so light, they are escap- ing from the atmosphere. Launching rockets and satellites into space, like Phobos-Grunt, does not have an impact, however, as most of them will fall back down to Earth inTervieW WiTh The Team Who ran To London again. AARON MILES and YICHUAN XU Overall, Dr Smith reckons the Earth Why did you decide to run to London? Did you receive any quirky is getting about 50,000 tonnes lighter On the road It wasn’t something anyone had ever sponsorship requests? a year. done for Jailbreak and we thought it We skipped across the M25 into London Winners of the landrace, daisy bard and would be interesting to see how far we for a 2 minute skipping sponsorship. Smart but not safe could get on foot. husein meghji send a postcard back to Varsity What was the most random Cambridge Researchers at Oxford Uni- Did you have to train in advance? thing that happened? versity have developed a new brain We’re both regular runners anyway Running along a dual carriageway, stimulation technique that could make Team 150’s final blog entry, several miles away to book flights Sunday 29 January but obviously never over distances sprinting between sections of it on the us all much smarter. home...on Monday. that long! But we ended up alternating actual road during gaps in the traffic Tests using the technique, which Sorry supervisors. In the meantime, between walking and running for when the bushes next to the road were involves passing a small electric cur- “Jailbreak is over, and we ended we have a day to play with in beautiful most of the trip. too thick to get through. Definitely the rent across regions in the brain, up staying at John’s house in the Murcia, thundering around on John’s scariest part of the whole journey. suggest it can enhance overall cognitive vineyard province of Murcia as he motorbikes and target-shooting with What did you do when you arrived? performance. was exhausted from something like 20 his air rifles. His home is a fortress We were too tired to do much more Funniest incident? But Barbara Sahakian, a neurosci- hours’ worth of driving... of masculinity, with a punch bag, a than finish off a few of the challenges Stopping at a random village pub and entist at Cambridge University, has When we got there, after ‘helping’ collection of cars and more tools than we were sponsored for and have getting told in a West-country accent questioned whether it would be a good him change the water pipe (i.e. holding you can shake a stick at.... dinner in Chinatown! “You’re not from around here are you? idea to use electrical stimulation on the a torch as it was pitch black by that He has been our saviour, with a We don’t like people who aren’t from brains of children swatting for exams. time whilst admiring his skill), we competitive spirit and a disdain for What was a particular highlight? around here.” “I don’t think we know enough about received the best hospitality possible: speed limits that we could only envy, Finishing after hobbling the last ten the long-term safety of these tech- four glasses of locally-produced rose, and ensured that we won the land miles through central London – such How much do you hope to raise? niques to justify using them on the showers and a bed for the night. He race... a good feeling! A few hundred pounds. developing brains of children.” had taken us to his local internet cafe Hasta luego companeros.” Massive Camera & Up to Camcorder Clearance t H s u la rry ks OFF whilst stoc 30%Light, compact Cyber-shot Save camera with simple operation Slim, light, easy to use • 12.1 megapixels • 4x optical zoom camcorder with very high £30 • 6.7cm LCD power zoom • Sweep Panorama • iAUTO • Record on memory card • Carl Zeiss 60x optical zoom • 70x extended zoom £ .99 • 7.5cm LCD Sony DSC-W510 Save • iAUTO Also available in Silver Colour Was £89.9959 Sony DCR-SX45EB High performance £50 Cybershot with powerful Save zoom, Full HD & GPS £ .99 • 16.2 megapixels • Exmor R CMOS • 10x Zoom Was £229.99 £80 • 7.5cm LCD 179 • Sweep Panorama £ .99 Full HD Flash Memory Sony DSC-HX7VB Camcorder. 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16 Lyon Yard Shopping Centre CAMBRIDGE. CB2 3NA Tel: 01223 351135 http://cambridge.sony.co.uk ‘Sony’,’make.believe’,’Sony Centre’, and their logos are registered trademarks of Sony Corporation. All pictures are for illustration only. Offer valid only whilst stocks last. Prices correct at time of going to press. E & O.E. Operated by Shasonic Centres Ltd. 6 NEWS february 3 2012 — week 3 Third body in twelve months Old books won’t discovered in River Cam expire thanks to UL by Helena Pike at the Murray Edwards/Peterhouse found over a week after her disappear- by Michael Walker to put on display as part of Shelf Lives: News CorrespoNdeNt boathouse, only to discover part of the ance by an outing of Newnham rowers News CorrespoNdeNt Four Centuries of Collectors and their river and the Fort St George footbridge in late November. The death of the Books. A body was discovered in the River had been closed. She said she was sixty-year-old, who reportedly suffered A sermon book that once belonged to Such an approach has helped put Cam in the early hours of Sunday, “stunned” and “shocked” by the inci- from depression and extreme paranoia, Queen Elizabeth I, Napoleon Bonaparte’s together a wide-ranging collection of 29th January, and the pending police dent and added that it was “horrible to was not treated suspiciously. copy of Montaigne’s Essais from his written and printed works, spanning investigation is treating the death as think this has happened so close to the The events of Sunday morning mark library on St. Helena, and a chronicle of more than a millennium. suspicious. boat house, and even more so to think the third death in the River Cam over world history, composed in 1493, in the Exhibits include handwritten man- Police were alerted and called to this is the second body that has been the course of the past 12 months. Last form of the Nuremburg Chronicle. uscripts of John Donne and Virginia the site, near Fort St. George Pub on found recently.” saw the murder of 52-year- This is just a miniscule part of the Woolf, alongside a view of the ninth- Midsummer Common, by a rower in A similar incident occurred earlier old homeless man, Raymond Boyle, extraordinary collection featured in the century Mercian prayer book, known as a single scull who is believed to have in the academic year, when the body of following an incident on Jesus Green. University Library’s latest exhibition: the Book of Cerne. spotted the body underneath the Fort ARU lecturer Professor Julia Swindells, The trial for this case continues, with extraordinary not only in the collec- University librarian Anne Jarvis St George foot bridge. The body, of a a former fellow and Director of Studies the accused denying all charges. tive sense of the diversity and volume of claimed that the library’s collection of man thought to be in his thirties, was in English at Homerton College, was such a list of literary treasures, but also books and manuscripts is “one of the recovered after police cordoned off a in an individual sense, with some of the most important in the world”. roughly 100-metre stretch of the river articles holding incredible significance, However, one curator, Ed Potten, was to carry out a forensic investigation. even when isolated from their collector’s keen to highlight that Shelf Lives was Speaking on behalf of the enquiry, libraries. about more than just the books, but also Inspector Kate Scott said that the inci- The exhibition is running from the the collectors themselves, exploring the dent would continue to be treated “as 18th January to the 16th June this year, fascinating obsessions hiding beneath suspicious until proven otherwise”, as and the organisers state that despite the such exhaustive collections. “more sinister” circumstances could not sheer magnitude of the UL, with over One of the collectors, Gilbert de be ruled out. Inspector Terry Furlong eight million books on its shelves, “some Botton, purchased his first edition assured the public that a “full investiga- of the most remarkable of these are the of Montaigne in 1981, and now holds tion is underway” and also requested collections gathered by ardent individ- the largest library of his work outside that the area of the river where the inci- ual book-lovers”. The exhibition is set to France. Having donated his collection dent occurred isn’t to be used in case of explore the “intensely personal passions” in 2008, he exemplifies the desire, shared disturbing the investigation. of those fanatical about collecting and by all of the collectors, to allow the One rower at the Murray Edwards preserving “rare and beautiful volumes”. public to indulge in the same passion Boat Club, Eleanor Dickinson, The exhibition’s curators asked ten of that led them to compile such wonderful expressed her concern upon her arrival The body was found by a rower in the early hours of Sunday morning their peers to select ten collectors’ works collections. Rubbish treatment Concern over anonymous of Bin Man Busker Chinese benefactors’ identity by Rosie Sargeant clear that he will “only be more resolved by Sam Hunt News editor to stay” if incidents continue to take News Correspondent place. Corpus students received an email on Although Black admitted that “it is A donation of £3.7 million that has Tuesday morning requesting that the completely understandable” that some been given to the university has been ‘Bin Man’ Busker outside of the college students find the ‘Bin Man’ a “real nui- brought under scrutiny as issues to be treated with more respect. sance”, he outlined his legal right to “ply do with concerns over its origin are Corpus JCR President James Black his trade”. raised. reported in the email sent out to He added that Cambridge City Presented by the Chong Hua Foun- Corpus students that, “there have been Council has received very few official dation in China, the fund is designed a number of incidents involving stu- complaints from students, meaning to create a new professorship of Inter- dents and this busker, most recently that it is unable to remove the busker national Development at the Centre of seeing fart bombs thrown into the bin from his pitch. Development Studies, to be occupied during one of his performances, but However, the JCR President attached by Peter Nolan, who is currently the also extending to the bin being attacked a form “outlining the fairly straightfor- Professor of Chinese Management at with bleach”. ward process for alerting the council Cambridge’s Judge Business School. With the busker also playing in the whenever the ‘Bin Man’ is breaking the The official statement issuing from vicinity of King’s College and St Catha- Street Performers’ Code of Practice”. the university claims that the Chong rine’s College, Black was keen to stress He said that “evidence would suggest Hua Foundation “is focused on advanc- that those responsible are not necessar- he does [break the code] regularly, by ing education for the benefit of the ily Corpus students and could also be playing too loudly, too frequently and People’s Republic of China”. members of the public. for more than one hour a day”, which is However, a number of members of The Head Porter of Corpus, and Black especially off-putting for students who the university’s staff have become con- Professor Nolan, of Cambridge Judge Business School, is set to become Professor of claimed that “such acts of vigilantism live in rooms opposite where he plays. cerned over the questionable origins International Development at the Centre of Development Studies and vandalism are obviously unaccept- If they succeed in moving the busker of the fund. Tim Holt, the university’s able” and threatened offending students elsewhere, Black assured Corpus Head of Communications expressed independent educational foundation.” without knowing the exact source of with punishments from the Dean. students that “the problem should his disquiet, referring to the source as Professor Nolan has strong connec- the donation, sceptics can only specu- The busker himself has spoken to hopefully be resolved well before exam “wealthy individuals who wished to tions to the son-in-law of Wen Jiabao, late on the possible unethical ties that porters about the issue and has made t e r m ”. remain anonymous”. who is the current Premier and Party the university could have to a nation The organisation, which has been Secretary of the State Council of the constantly questioned over its abuse of cleared by the university’s general People’s Republic of China, the head human rights. board, may not even exist; attempts of the Chinese government. Jiabao’s The ethical guidelines the univer- to find records of Chong Hua on vari- son-in-law, Liu Chunhang, is also a sity adheres to on the acceptance of ous charity lists in Beijing have proved member of one of the wealthiest and benefactions condemn the acceptance fruitless. most powerful families in China. Nolan of any donation, no matter how large, Tarak Barkawi, a senior lecturer in apparently provided the idea for the that may be connected to any viola- the Department of Politics and Interna- source of this fund, causing sceptics to tion of human rights conventions, the tional Studies, stated that he believed it question whether the foundation has suppression or falsification of any aca- is “reckless” of the university to accept contributed towards his appointment demic research or restraint of freedom such a donation, when the queries over as first occupant of the Chong Hua of speech or inquiry. the of its source are taken into Professorship. This, in conjunction with the ques- consideration. The university denies this, stating tions raised over the identity of the Barkwai questioned not only the fact that donors have no power over the Chong Hua Foundation, has led some that the authenticity of the foundation allocation of positions. to compare the donation to the con- appears to be dubious but that it could Tim Holt has stated that the fund troversy over the £1.5m donation given be linked to the Chinese government. has been considered “in line with our to the LSE by a foundation run by Saif He went on to say that “In a dicta- published ethical guidelines for the al-Islam Gaddafi, which also caused Students have been accused of treating the Bin Man Busker like dirt torship, there is no such thing as an acceptance of donations.” However, controversy. WEEK 3 — FEBRUARY 3 2012 SCIENCE 7

Rock WillInjecting Lawn speaks to Professor a Davidlittle Nutt about controversy drug policy and being of the one of the most outspoken government advisers of recent years Week SILTSTONE s our interview begins, being used to treat terminal illness”. He After being fi red from the ACMD in Professor David Nutt is perplexed by the decision not to use 2009, his antipathy towards much of Don’t sneer, Lucy. If a sedimentary rock was chuckles, “Very few people it, as are many other experts: “it’s a bit the government remains. “ e Home good enough for Kiki and Antonia, it’s now stand up and talk bol- weird that you’ve got potentially eff ec- Offi ce listened very intently when you good enough for you. This week it’s locks about drugs when tive drugs that you can’t use because told them what they wanted to hear: siltstone, that fi ne-grained rarity that’s I’m around”. Slumped in his chair with they’ve been banned by the govern- ban a drug. And they didn’t listen at all as crumbly as a chunk of Cheshire Aa grin on his face, he is both relaxed and ment for no obvious reason”. when you told them what they didn’t cheese. Indeed, siltstone is so fi ne enthusiastic. want to hear” he shrugs, still clearly grained that many geologists As we sit in the empty lecture the- The Home Offi ce stunned by their actions. rub their teeth against the atre, which will later be fi lled by people ‘ His dismissal provoked signifi cant stone to detect the fi ne grit of listening to his both hilarious and listened very intently confusion, in the press and in his own silt. This is probably to blame morbid talk, I ask him why he became mind. “Probably anger” he ponders, for the so-called ‘Geologist’s involved with drug policy. when you told them what considering why he was sacked, “I think tooth’ – a highly aggressive He describes his time as a trainee they wanted to hear: ban they were angry that I didn’t ask per- and gruesome infection of the doctor in the ‘70s, “I started seeing mission to say what I thought”. ‘pulp’ or nerve of the tooth. My people dying for the fi rst time, and I a drug. And they didn’t Most interesting, however, are his editor’s explanation for the white remembered having read about LSD thoughts on the notorious reclassifi ca- markings on this specimen is ‘Roots were listen at all when you told tion of cannabis from C to B, “certainly there, then they degraded.’ A shame – I was FAQS it’s alleged that a three part deal was cut really hoping for some CaCO . Joseph White them what they didn’t with the Mail to support Labour, and 3 What is the ACMD? want to hear’ one of those three things was, I believe, Advisory Council on Misuse of Drugs to reclassify cannabis”. “I think they’ll stop arresting So, what’s the story behind Professor Professor Nutt is now the most people for possessing can- Nutt being fi red? prominent fi gure in drug policy reform, nabis” Professor Nutt says Alan Johnson dismissed Nutt from famed specifi cally for his comments cautiously when asked his position after the professor gave a lecture on the assessment of the concerning the comparative dangers of about the future, unwill- harmful effects of drugs. ecstasy and alcohol. “ ing to give too much hope In a letter to The Guardian, It’s very hard to fi nd much in the of radical reform. Johnson explained, ‘He was way of harms from LSD and ecstasy, In his world all drug use TAKE FIVE asked to go because he cannot be when people are tripping or under would be decriminalised both a government adviser and a ecstasy they don’t harm other people”, and drugs less harmful campaigner against government he smiles. “We found no impact what- than alcohol would be sold policy. [...]’. soever [on serotonin function]” Nutt “through registered out- Professor Nutt defended himself in announces proudly, contrary to what lets, like the Dutch coff ee a letter to The Times saying, “I gave many believe. As he moves onto alco- shops”. But what can we do to Controversial a lecture on the assessment of drug hol his expression becomes rather less help the cause, I ask sub- harms and how these relate to the friendly, “huge, huge rising death rates sequently, “sign up to Scientists legislation controlling drugs. of liver disease” moans Nutt, “and a my website and Charles Darwin According to Alan Johnson, the huge impact on society”. tell your parents Nobody liked hearing they were Home Secretary, some contents of His attitude towards alcohol is often the truth about related to apes, so people weren’t this lecture meant I had crossed the forgotten amongst more radical views drugs!” very happy to accept Darwin’s line from science to policy and so on illicit drugs, but it truly is his main theory of evolution. Frankly, I’m

he sacked me. I do not know which concern. When I quiz him on what he LIZZIE MARX unconfortable with plenty of humans comments were beyond the line or, would do if in charge, his fi rst response I’m related to, so I can empathise. indeed, where the line was”. Several is “make a government priority to members of the ACMD left after the reduce the harms of alcohol”, clearly Galileo Galilei incident. not the intoxicant-loving “Professor Today we look on the Poison” e S u n would like him to be. view of a geo-centric universe as incredibly absurd. Back in Galileo’s time, an Pandemic Publicity Panic?! alternate suggestion made people This week in Not-Sci, Leila Haghighat tells us not to be so mad at him that they forced him to recant his views and put him taken in by Hollywood’s fi lms about viral pandemics under house-arrest.

misguided, or a stooge. f the killer virus from the fi lm Con- originally predicted, due to its weak- James Watson Phew, that was thrilling. Here tagion made you think the end is ened effi cacy. Rapid responses meant Co-discoverer of the structure by James Vincent comes the fact-train to back it up. nigh, think again. Although viral that less than one in fi ve people were of DNA, Watson is also known Online Editor  ese bills are supported by an pandemics in fi lms theoretically infected and much less severely than for having some contentious industry trying to convince us its Icould occur, natural biological science first thought. These real-life pan- views. Claiming beauty could be business is failing, but the opposite makes it next to impossible.  e hype demics haven’t lived up to media genetically engineered, he said is true: PricewaterhouseCooper of these thrillers is just another illusion alarmism exemplifi ed by Ethan Huff “People say it would be terrible  is week  e Pirate Bay announced valued global entertainment revenue from Hollywood. of NaturalNews, who described the if we made all girls pretty. I think that because of the current vogue at $449 billion in 1998 - this fi gure Pandemics are caused by viruses and fi lm Contagion as a warning from the it would be great.” Don’t worry, amongst Western governments is now $745 billion; the percentage the most harmful viruses tend to be the US government designed to “condi- nobody at Varsity agrees with him. for enforcing fanatical copyright of household income spent on least contagious. A virus that spreads tion people’s minds” in advance of an legislation, 2012 would be the “Year entertainment has risen 1.5% in easily generally occurs because it has approaching lethal pandemic. J. Robert Oppenheimer of  e Storm”. As much as I hate to the same period; and revenue for In the past few months, further con- An American theoretical physicist, endorse such infl ammatory rhetoric independent artists has also risen cern has arisen over variants of the Bird Oppenheimer was the scientifi c  e Pirate Bay are right. And you can 43%. Flu (H5N1) virus, which has developed director of the Manhattan Project tell I mean it because I’m talking in  at last bit of data is the real give- the novel ability to travel through the air and known as “the father of the italics (feel free to also imagine my between ferrets. However, the World away (Google “ e Sky is Rising” atomic bomb”, a discovery that has The number of people who have died little fi sts shaking in mute anger). for more statistics and case-studies; Health Organisation recently reported unsettled people ever since. January’s blackout protests from no, really: do it). Content-creators from the H5N1332 virus since 2003 that fewer than 350 people have died Wikipedia and other sites may have have been freed by the internet to of H5N1 since 2003, with the major- Joseph Priestly introduced you to American bills deal directly with their consumers ity of deaths occurring in 2006/07 and Discoverer of oxygen SOPA and PIPA but the storm has and their profi ts are increasing – the infected several diff erent animal spe- primarily in Indonesia.  is is in com- and religious non- now gone global – Europe is under industry is losing control and, like cies.  is equips it with the ability to parison to a typical annual death toll conformist, Priestly threat from a bastard love-child of any dumb animal, is lashing out.  e evade our defence systems more eff ec- of hundreds of thousands from more fought hard for the these bills dubbed ACTA. It’s tough copyright aspects of these bills would tively. However, this cross-species common fl u strains. Anything is possi- rights of Dissenters in a column this small to deconstruct simply sacrifi ce the rights of content- transfer, is a double-edged sword, as it ble, but realistically, viral pandemics are and had to fl ee to the ACTA – it’s defi nitely got its good also renders the virus relatively harm- the the stuff of imaginative screenplays creators for the sake of an industry’s United States when a points – so, like TPB, I’m gonna money-lust (whilst doing a brisk less.  ey are less able to identify and and special eff ects and won’t be deci- mob burned down his have to deal in cheap absolutes. side-trade in stifl ing free speech).  e target key organs, such as the lungs, so mating the human race any time soon. house. Helen Cahill Forgive me, but anyone who supports rhetoric may be getting ridiculous cause less severe illnesses. these bills is either under-informed, but the dangers are real. Even Swine Flu (H1N1), took a much Not-Sci is produced by BlueSci, the Cambridge University science magazine from Varsity smaller toll on human life in 2009 than 8 PERSPECTIVES FEBRUARY 3 2012 — WEEK 3

“I like the noise of democracy” James Buchanan CUSU who? A closer look at ‘our’ student union Following another round of referendums concerning college affi liation with the university’s student union, we question the role and accomplishments of CUSU and the strength of their position within a collegiate university

What are your views about CUSU certainly have a larger role to supported at both colleges. CUSU and the work they do for play than many individual colleges can.  at, as well as the continued back- Cambridge students? While each college picks an area in the ing of the twenty-eight other affi liated UK to concentrate on with regards to colleges is a resounding vote of sup- Jessica Holland, Caius access, CUSU run the well-known port in what’s been, so far, a great year. espite being halfway through my Shadowing Scheme, bringing disadvan- We took a funding campaign to the degree, I can’t think of a single taged sixth-formers to Cambridge for university in Michaelmas and came thing off the top of my head that a weekend to experience student life. It away with a massive recurrent grant to Dhas been a CUSU exclusive action. I is hard to be negative about a scheme safeguard CUSU’s nationally-leading suppose they had a free garden party? which will hopefully help dispel the mis- Access work. CUSU’s Disabled Stu- Actually they did organise buses to go conceptions of private schools having a dents Campaign highlighted issues to the London NUS march, didn’t they? monopoly over Cambridge. with degrading, which we carried right Perhaps they are quite down with the Secondly, CUSU holds signifi cantly up to governing body – but working on kids, but the kids just aren’t listening. more power than each college’s SU. that is just the start. When a dispute arises between a stu- It’s a year when the university fol- Tim Benger, St Johns dent or JCR/SU and the college, CUSU lowed and echoed our lead on reacting USU urgently needs to concen- are consulted and drafted in to provide to the government’s White Paper, and trate and clarify the benefi ts for their support when suitable.  is may the much-talked about University colleges of affi liation. If not, our be something like allowing a student to Sports Centre looks set to fi nally break Cstudent union risks a dire negligence of defer a year due to health reasons. ground. its responsibility and a potential collapse With regards to issues that aff ect the Our victories are big and small – in the services that are fundamental to whole university, CUSU are undoubt- from saving bursaries last year, to student life in Cambridge. edly the main driving force for change. giving ongoing individual support to Currently, affi liation with CUSU does Perhaps the most recent example was students through the Advice Service. not provide colleges with support that their ‘Degrading is degrading’ cam- CUSU is delivering all this while merits the fee paid. Affi liation allows a paign, which highlighted one of CUSU’s freezing colleges’ affiliation fees college’s student committee seats on the most important roles: while many because we know JCR and MCR bud- fortnightly CUSU council, membership welfare issues can be provided by the gets are too squeezed. of CUSU committees. college, CUSU can help with cases in  e fair comment is not to decry However, CUSU council meetings immediate concerns. campaigning, welfare and representa- which the college’s welfare provisions CUSU for playing our part poorly – are often dominated by overly politi-  is makes disaffi liation an under- tion. It cannot be expected that colleges are not enough. Of course, the average when you fairly judge the outcomes, cised discussions of issues that are not standable option. If a college feels it is will continue to pay money that would student will probably be adequately sup- that’s just not true – but to fi nd ways refl ective of the priorities of students, not receiving a satisfactory return on its be better spent on themselves with the ported by the college, but just because we can communicate that better. It’s alienating colleges and their representa- investment, the signifi cant proportions mindset that their contribution benefi ts the average student does not see CUSU up to me to convey what we do and tives from its activities. Representation of college student committee budgets the functioning of CUSU as a whole, providing important welfare support how we do it. It is in everyone’s inter- is all very well until students are not that were being poured into CUSU affi l- especially when the college’s own expe- does not mean that we can disaffi liate est that more students still join the being represented on the issues that iation are, for the sake of the college’s riences with CUSU are frustrating. since not every student is gaining from several thousand who already vote in matter to them most. individual interest, better redirected it. Those who are experiencing the the CUSU elections, and suggest new Students are also unclear of whom, towards college facilities and societies. Ciaran McAuley, Trinity most trouble while being a student here avenues if we’re not doing enough in a amongst a web of Sabbaticals and CUSU Given that students do not lose out ue to the collegiate system, it deserve all the support they can have. certain area. committee members, to turn to for significantly on an individual basis is all too easy to become disil- CUSU is improving all the time and direct help, and of what help is on off er. from a college decision to disaffili- lusioned with what role CUSU Gerard Tully, CUSU President getting better at delivering its message.  e strongly politically minded council ate, it is an important component of Dplays in your time here as a student, was incredibly proud to go to Pem- We are strongest when we are together, meetings are far from a clear medium CUSU’s budgetary considerations that with CUSU appearing as a somewhat broke’s and Robinson’s recent CUSU and the recent reaffi liation votes are for the representation of students’ colleges receive satisfactory support in distant entity. However, access-wise, Iaffi liation debates, and see CUSU therefore to be celebrated. Whatever You Say IS FASHION ELITIST?

henever I turn on the TV and see sad eyes staring out of gaunt, et’s not mince words, dear readers. I am an extraordinarily fashion- hungry faces, when I see people – usually just children, really – able man. My feet are clad in brogues, my trousers are skinny, and draped in rags – colourful, well-cared for, but essentially – rags the previous occupants of most of my shirts died in them. Passers- that barely conceal their modesty; when I see in their expres- by gaze upon the majesty of my garments and say, awestruck: “Oh, Wsions the never-spoken, half-forgotten, ever-present plaintive despair – how LAhir, how could we possibly aspire to your lofty heights of sartorial excel- far they must walk every day, just to keep the show going; when I see how lence!” or so I imagine. However, can we honestly say that the rags in which ALI LEWIS they are fl aunted shamelessly in front of the cameras to induce shame in I am clad are - in addition to being incredibly elegant, dapper, and somehow the audience, and how celebrities stand around uselessly on the sidelines; simultaneously bang-on-trend and avant-garde (c’est impossible!) - whenever I see this, I think: blow me, it’s London Fashion Week again. elitist? Of course not, you ill-dressed cretin. Now, I don’t know much about fashion myself – apparently the neo- Deadline day came and went, and Liverpool did not offl oad prene-esque quality of my new blazer makes me look like I’m “at a Andy Carroll.  e striker, who pledged his allegiance to the dolphin’s wedding” – but, being a prick at Cambridge, I do know a club despite the terrible form that has dogged him since his AHIR SHAH few things about elitism. arrival at Anfi eld, rewarded manager Kenny Dalglish’s faith  e word itself has three meanings: by scoring the opener in the Red’s 3-0 victory against Wolves 1) ‘the criterion for success is inclusion in a narrow pre- on a day that marked the fi rst anniversary of his £35 million existing social elite’, 2) ‘the criterion for success is inclusion transfer from Newcastle. But I digress. If fashion were elitist, in a narrow meritocratic elite’, and 3) following the usage of it would mean that fashionable items would be restricted to a Oxford-botherer and neologist Elly Nowell, ‘the criterion small ‘elite’ group; the easiest way to do this would be to make for success is having really nice old buildings’. fashionable items incredibly expensive, or incredibly expen- 1) Stella McCartney is, I am given to believe, the daughter of a sive items fashionable. popular musician; Chloe Green’s father is the proprietor of a cloth- Knowing this, we can pinpoint the exact moment when ing shop, who, whilst of modest means himself, has a very wealthy wife fashion ceased to be elite: the moment when it was col- in Monaco; and Kelly Osbourne, designer of the Stiletto Killers range of lectively decided that anything from a charity shop was rock-inspired tees, knickers, hoodies and sweatpants, is the daughter of automatically fashionable. In this day and age, a black shirt the Prince of Darkness and a television talent show judge. and jackboots would be considered the height of cool as 2) Although these people have notable families, they also happen long as they were sourced in an obscure second-hand shop to be incredible designers, who would have made it anyway, and who called Save  e Parrots With Speech Impediments and are just unlucky to have such famous parents distracting from their then worn to the Fez nightclub. Charity shops mean that obvious talents. Chloe Green, Kelly Osbourne, the Hilton sisters, fashion is open to everyone. Absolutely everyone is free to Brooke Hogan – these are the names we think of when we hear the wear fashionable, cheap, unique, vintage pieces that loudly word ‘elite’. proclaim the wearer’s individuality, and thereby look just like 3)  ey all have nice houses. I beg to propose. all their friends. I beg to oppose. WEEK 3 — FEBRUARY 3 2012 PERSPECTIVES 9

Ladylike e Arab Spring: threat to the West? FREYA BERRY As the current situation in the Middle East makes its way to the debating chambers of the Union next week, we should confront the hypocrisy of the current Western outlook o last week, I totally didn’t stick to the prearranged ambridge Union’s deci- In many cases, the existing regime, doomed to defeat, then Middle Eastern newspaper theme. sion to debate the global however despotic, was considered DID YOU KNOW? self-determination becomes a hindrance I dissented from it, in threat posed by the Arab preferable to this likely democratic Over 2 million people gathered at rather than an ideological goal. Sfact (come with me on this meta- Spring may, understand- alternative. Cairo’s Tahrir Square during the In short, next week the Cambridge journey, do), it’s probably the most ably, come as a surprise At least a Middle Eastern tyrant 2011 Egyptian Revolution. Union intends to debate the threat rebellious thing I’ll do all year. to many onlookers. After was kept at arms-length, and was usu- posed, not merely by the Arab Spring, While we’re on this, the most all, the Western commitment to democ- ally willing to co-operate on issues that but also by the prospect of an Islamist rebellious bat-shit crazy thing I’ve Cracy and freedom, ideals shared by were real vote-winners: terrorism, trade fully represent their people, Muslim and government taking charge in the Middle ever done was when we were told protesters from Tahrir Square to Trip- and oil imports all came in exchange Christian alike. East. to draw a pet in Reception and I oli, seems unequivocal. for small inconsequential favours like is hardly seems like the basis for a said I wanted to draw a pink pony ere are laws passed every year to weapons, intelligence and photo-ops. new state which supports jihadist terror ‘Perhaps America (which I so didn’t actually have, promote religious and civic freedom, What the West now fears is the pros- attacks against the Christian West. bitches). I got told off , so I painted and the notion of people not being pect of an Islamist government which is fear of Islamist governments is has reconsidered its a rabbit instead. Which, come to allowed to decide their own futures may be fundamentally unwilling to do not a new phenomenon. Only fi ve years think of it, I didn’t have either. seems to us barbaric. business with them. What then happens ago, Hamas’ comprehensive victory in commitment to exporting is week, though, I’m fi rmly Leaders in the West were not so long when we need oil or intelligence? Palestinian elections was actively boy- democracy’ back in the warm thematic fold, ago falling over themselves to praise and Furthermore, chief amongst fears cotted by the West. snuggling in the fl eecy world of support the protesters in Egypt, Tunisia Which brings me to the next reason agreement. and Libya for daring to demand free- ‘This fear seems, for the West is afraid of allowing the people It is assumed that this will pose a Agreeing is so much easier. dom and democracy from their brutal of the Middle East to rule themselves: security risk to the West and its inter- Nobody shouts, slaps, or pours authoritarian leaders. So how then the most part, totally they don’t always share America’s for- ests; threaten trade and oil imports and beer on you. Why dissent, when did the Arab Spring and its advent of eign policy aims, particularly in relation upset their Israeli allies. you can consent? ‘Western’ ideals such as democracy and unfounded’ to Israel. e hypocrisy we witness in West- Sometimes in life though, you freedom, come to be seen as a potential Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood, the ern governments extolling the virtues have to say, ‘No’. You have to say security risk? in the West currently is that, because democratically elected majority party in of democracy, whilst fearing the will ‘I will not vote for/inject/have sex Following the recent spate of elec- many Islamist parties desire the cre- the country, has faced opposition from of another populous aspiring to our with this’. tions in the region, it seems the West ation of Islamist states, they will become the army after querying the country’s same democratic ideals is evident and And the thing that gives people has remembered why it spent so long havens for terrorist groups who wish to relationship with Israel. unacceptable. the confidence to dissent is propping up undemocratic and authori- attack the West. Judging by their silence on this issue, e issue at hand has shifted from education. tarian regimes across the Middle East. However, this fear seems for the most perhaps America has reconsidered its one of revolution against oppression to Girls have to be educated as Fear. A fear of what would likely replace part, totally unfounded, with the three commitment to exporting democracy. a fearful glance eastwards at neighbours much as possible about the outside that dictator if the people were given a victorious Islamist parties in Morocco, If a president who cannot guarantee who are diff erent enough, seemingly, world because they need to turn democratic voice. Put plainly, a fear of Tunisia and Egypt respectively pledging the protection of Israel by keeping a to justify fearing the consequences of down things more frequently than Islamist government. to enter into coalition governments to handle on its enemies is almost certainly empowering them. Patrick Fee boys. Right now, at this university, I could attend a pole dancing class or drape myself ornamentally round the neck of some skeezy Skype date? No thanks, mate Toryboy at the Pitt Club (no, Cambridge talks I’m not thinking of anyone in Room 101- what would YOU get rid of? Video calls are an awkward, artifi cial, attention- particular, they just all happen to seeking form of modern communication fi t that description). What would I put into But there’s simply no way I’m going to do either. Room 101? I would have e greatest achievement of an to say students who come Bigots: This is obviously t is always the case that new tech- preoccupation with self-image. education is to enable someone fairly self-explanatory. nology will have its reactionaries, The process of seeing yourself to look around and make an into the shop and take those people who (shock horror!) reminds me of when people hear a informed decision of their own: out free samples without Racism, sexism, delete their Facebooks, those mod- recording of their own voice and claim, whether to eat that pesky peach saying thank you! anti-semitism and Iern-day Siddarthas who remain in the “that doesn’t sound like me.” It is diffi - (pay attention at the back, English homophobia should be wilderness, indulging in handwrit- cult enough to speak with someone on students) or have the confi dence ten lecture notes and other outmoded the phone without now having to speak to turn somebody down. boringly irrelevant in activities. to this uncanny mixture of a camera, a “Women intellectual grow dull”, Hannah Parry from the 21st Century and for Skype, the globally successful video- face and your own (constantly-freez- wrote TS Eliot in a draft for The The Fudge Kitchen, most people it probably calling service is no stranger to the ing) refl ection. Waste Land. is is obviously not Kings Parade technophobic reactionary. However, the case, as anyone who has seen is. However, bigotry in this instance, they may actually have ‘Skype is as much about Mean Girls by the magnifi cent does rear its ugly head a point your own image as it is Tina Fey will know. Could anyone every so often – such as My initial charge against Skype was but a true educational maverick Comic Sans is just the obligation to remain patiently inside about the other person‘ have come up with the line that is: unacceptable as a font. John Galliano’s obscene that little box, that four-sided prison “Fetch is NOT COMING BACK, Even as a 6-year old I Holocaust outburst in a which leaves you nowhere to hide. I Gretchen!”? bar – and I’d love for it found myself having to take half-time e main thing that defi nes Skype is Yet education is not only the was deeply offended by breaks where I’d duck out of range to this combination of two cameras work- way that people are taught, but its revolting jauntiness to be eradicated. And brush my teeth, tidy some fi les or pre- ing together to simulate interaction. also the method by which people whilst I wouldn’t wish tend I’m doing either of those things e problem with this as a communi- learn how to disagree with things and blundering lack and actually just escape the camera’s cative device is that unless the camera or expand further upon what they of sophistication. A harm on anyone, if Nick glare and breathe a heavy sigh of relief. is coming out of the screen between already know. document in Comic Griffi n, presidential A typical Skype “session” begins their eyes you are never truly making I’m not saying that knowing candidate Governor when you pick up and the other person eye contact with the other person. is how to conjugate Latin verbs or Sans may as well be leaks onto your screen, invading your disjointedness is the profound fl aw in how to order food in a French bordered in glitter glue Rick Perry and the entire room with their presence. Skype also Skype, creating feelings of dissocia- restaurant will stave off a rapist and illustrated with fi nger- Westoro Baptist Church forces you to see your own image super- tion rather than association, of absence – although it might bamboozle vanished tomorrow then imposed onto a part of their room, rather than presence. them for a moment and allow you paintings. It is neither or even over a part of their face. How If I were to go into the implications of to escape. suitable for adults nor I’m not sure I’d be that wonderful. this when applied to the fact that most There are places where children and it should be upset. is in itself prompts a frenzied state people, if they’re being honest, tend to education can’t help you. of panic: you check your hair, check look at the small, projected image of But girls need to be educated eradicated completely! your room, check that there are no dirty themselves just as much (if not more) in order to give them the self- underpants within view. e conver- than they look at the other person then confi dence to reject things they sation stutters into life as you adjust this becomes even more unsettling. don’t agree with. William Lawrenson, Trinity your face to the screen, perhaps trying “Awkward” is how many people ere’s a reason why the fi lm Gareth Rhys, Magdalene to conjure a clever pose, concealing describe Skype. And whilst my friend ‘Yes Man’ was called as such. unwanted facial features. claims his long-distance relationship Saying ‘yes’ to everything for a Skype is as much about your own is being “kept afl oat” by it, I say revert week just isn’t feasible for girls. image as it is about seeing the other back to the phone, or to Skype without We get too many dodgy off ers as person and strikes caustically at the cameras – after all, vanity gets us it is. our own insecurities and obsessive nowhere. Niko Munz 10 FEATUrES fEBruary 3 2012 — wEEk 3

Rolex/ Hugo glendInnIng, 2011 Enotes Madeleine Morley and Louise Benson spend an afternoon discussing lightbulbs, art school and airports with Brian Eno

hen we arrive at I was very young, 17 or so. One day she Brian Eno’s Not- said to me, ‘Brian, I like you, but I just can’t ting Hill studio, he understand why someone with your kind is happily painting of brain wants to waste it being an artist.’ light bulbs. People That was possibly one of the most impor- know Brian Eno tant things that a person has ever said to best as founder member of , me. It started me on a process of not only Was writer, electronic musician and singer, be an artist but thinking about why people collaborating with, amongst others, David are artists, why we want art, and why we Bowie, and Devo, and most care about it.’” famously the producer of and Cold- He presses play and from all sides of the play. We meet him now as much more room emerges subtle, translucent noise, fill- than a musician; Eno is a visual artist, sci- ing the studio with deeply still yet somehow entist, philosopher, and teacher. The sheer active sound. On the wall, a small-scale ver- volume of his creative output over the last sion of Brian’s project 77 Million Paintings, forty years is immense, but we are not which he has displayed in places ranging meeting him to discuss the latest produc- from the arch of a historic roman corridor tion in such a prodigious list. Instead, what to the Sydney Opera House, is throbbing unfurls is a long, meandering afternoon softly. Its shifting, kaleidoscopic shapes (Clockwise, from left to right) an Italian palace) as if performing complex ‘Ambient 1: Music for Airports’, released in spent exploring the process behind any appear to react with – or rather, to create 1. Eno in his Notting HIll surgery, Brian tells us the story of another 1978, which effectively invented ambient number of his future opuses, real or imag- – the sounds trickling from the walls; the studio important teacher, his art professor, Tom music as a pop genre. “I was in an airport ined. And the lightbulbs. picture as music, the sound a painting as 2. ‘Decorative Panel’ Phillips, who taught him during his time at in Cologne, a newly built, very beautiful Brian is painting lightbulbs because he they merge. His studio expands with possi- (Stockholm, 1983). the Colchester Institute. “Tom came up to modern airport, lots of glass, sun stream- doesn’t like the harsh light that the regu- bilities and becomes a theme park, Brian a a painting I’d spent a lot of time on and was ing in on a Sunday morning, not very many lar ones produce. The layers of paint (glass cross between George Melies and the most rather proud of. He said ‘It’s a bit slight, other people there. It was really carefully paint, not regular, so as not to crack when astute of Willy Wonka figures. isn’t it?’ That was quite irritating, but in designed down to the details, except blar- heated) marble together, forming curiously a good way. After this I started thinking: ing across the PA system was the crappiest lovely objects of the bulbs. He screws one ‘The good teachers why isn’t this a good painting? What is piece of music, some German pop or some- into place in his studio, demonstrating the wrong with it? What do I want to do with thing, and I thought, this is completely softly warped colours it now emits, and that I’ve had are this? What am I painting anyway? I started insane! I went into a sort of thought exper- whose warm, brownish tinge illuminates thinking about a lot more fundamental iment of trying to imagine what you would the room from then on. people whose opinions questions rather than ‘is this the right kind want from music for this space. It should We ask Brian – who himself has con- alternately both fascinate of red or not?’ I’ve always thought that a be like sitting by a river, where things are sistently used his music and art to teach strong opinion, whether you agree with always changing in detail but at the larger others – about those that taught him. “An and irritate me‘ it or not, is worth more than a weak opin- scale they’re not changing. It’s the level of important teacher for me was a self-taught ion. The good teachers that I’ve had are all consistency versus surprise that interested woman named Joan Harvey, my then people whose opinions alternately both me. I felt that most of the music you ever girlfriend’s mother,” says Brian, inserting We move into his recording studio and fascinate and irritate me.” heard at airports was trying to conceal various CDs into the simple, worn, por- he tells us about his time at the Colchester Brian opens up a drum sample to show the fact that you were slightly nervous. I table players suspended mysteriously from Institute, where he began to seek answers us how subtle electronic changes can pro- wanted to change your state of mind so the lofty ceiling at ear level. “Joan was fas- to some of the questions raised by Joan. Eno as glam rock star duce staggeringly different effects. He puts that you sort of settled down and thought, cinated by science, very clever and free The teachers at the Colchester Institute in the speakers up to their loudest, the pulsat- okay, I’ll just be for a little while, I’ll stop thinking. I spent the whole summer in Essex had mixed reactions to Brian’s work, ing rhythm shaking the piled books on the worrying and just be.” the village of Harston in Cambridgshire, unable to easily categorise it. He recalls shelves above us. Books on John Cage, John From the other room, the 77 Million living in a double decker bus on her land. how his work divided the teachers at the Peel, , the electric music of Miles Paintings gently twists into the shape of a school, and details how this pushed him Davies, one titled the ‘Physics of Music’, river. Brian squints, seeing something else EnO AS cOLLABOrATOr to consider the nature and function of art and a book on No Wave by Sonic Youth’s entirely: “It’s the pizza again!” he shouts institutions, one of his enduring interests. Thurston Moore nearly crash down on our to a friend in the upstairs room. With all “There are two ways that art schools can heads (“Those are just the music books, the thousands of combinations his artwork The Passengers - Original Soundtracks work. The first is to ask, ‘Do we decide on the library in the other room was too full”) can mutate into, a sequence never repeats 1: U2 and Eno join forces, with Italian an area and teach it and get really good at Brian continues to contemplate the best itself twice. opera tenor Luciano Pavarotti guest teaching it?’ This is quite conservative in a Eno as international artist friends and teachers who helped to shape appearing on ‘’ way, because it decides that whatever you his philosophy and interest in the role of ‘Art is everything you plan to do in the rest of your life, it’ll be places and spaces forming a function for Fear, Slow Dazzle and Helen of Troy good if you master life drawing and colour music – and art – to fulfill. don’t have to do’ trilogy: Collaboration with John theory. Another way of running an art “I started asking myself these questions Cale school is to say, ‘We don’t know what art about what does art exist for, is it just some Brian shows us how he makes film is going to be in the future, in fact, these form of masturbation or a luxury add on music, transferring a distorted drum Everything That Happens Will Happen students probably have a better idea than to life, or is it crucial in some way? I have sound – “I’ll call it “Dark Drums Maddy Today: Second collaborative album we do, so we’ll let them mutate the course a broad definition of art, to include every- and Louise”– into his iTunes, and turn- between Eno and to their own satisfaction.’ Good teachers thing from crochet to Cezanne, anything ing it into soundtrack music. ‘I’d be sitting realise that the students are the antenna; that people do for stylistic reasons. Art is in the studio in the late 70s working on Evening Star: Collaboration between they are sensing things that the teachers Eno as visionary everything you don’t have to do. You have something, like now, and at the end of the Eno and , guitarist from don’t yet sense.” to wear clothes, but you don’t have to sty- day I’d say, now I’m going to do the film King Crimson “For that same reason, when you are lise them. You could just wear sacks or mix, and I would just slow the tape down at art school, the other students are your animal pelts. I started thinking about why by half speed. This has two effects, first it , Trope and Air applications: Eno learning environment. I think that this is we make those decisions. It started me makes everything softer, deeper, but it also collaboartes with Peter Chilvers something that nearly all other educational thinking about the role of music in public means that half as many events happen in to create for the iOS platform systems could learn from. It is unofficially places.” Brian’s black cat, Angel, with white the same amount of time. Immediately the like that everywhere – it is the people slipper paws slinks into the room and sits music opens out, there is twice as much (subtitled over one you’re at college with that you spend the beside Brian’s stained glass window that space as there was before. It’s what people hundred worthwhile dilemmas): Set most time with, talking in depth to. This he keeps propped up against a cupboard, started doing later on and they called it of cards, created by Eno and Peter should be encouraged more.” transforming the space from a white- ‘remixing.’ The shocking thing to me was Schmitt Playing with different buttons and filters washed studio room to somewhere with a that I’d often prefer those things that I did on his computer to tweak one of his new Eno as philospher hint of mysterious, shimmering history. in twenty minutes, over the version I’d been projects (a music piece commissioned for Brian talks about the inspiration for his working on all day. So I thought, I want WEEK 3 — FEBRUARY 3 2012 FEATURES 11

LETTICE e FRANKLIN Little Gem

hink of all the butteries you Tcan write about!” ended my editor’s 3.From a post-card for Eno’s they’re asking ‘why don’t you settle down message when she asked me to write ‘Generative Music’ and do one thing over and over and over this column. She knows me so well, 4. Four moments from again?’ It’s something every creative I thought, my heart dancing at the ‘Venice I’ (Venice, 1985). person understands, and all critics fi nd prospect. One of a group of 5 pieces, suspicious. Most critics and most people “One week the Sidgwick buttery and each independently who write about art, are still stuck with a would feature,” she continued. I illuminated by a 20” TV romantic notion of what an artist is. A lot nodded in agreement: obviously it’s monitor. of artists play to that, because they think Cambridge’s indisputable culinary 5. Eno’s ‘Bloom’ application it’s cool and they think it’s good publicity. hotspot. So I began to make more for iPhones  e romantic notion of an artist is some- detailed plans. to compose fi lm soundtracks, I’ll release much. But what people discovered was one who is not happy, deeply disturbed at “I’m sure you’ve got tried and an album called and then that multitrack recording enabled you to some level, unintellectual. Intellectual art- tested places – ‘the joys of butteries’, people will think that I have been already stop thinking about music as performance, ists are always suspect.  e romantic idea perhaps?” So stated the email producing music for fi lm soundtracks.” and start thinking about it as painting. It is that passion rules, passion and intellect explaining that the budget couldn’t For a while, we are collaborating with changed music completely from a medium don’t sit together well.  is is why Tracey send me to Midsummer House every Brian Eno, a very interesting place to be. that is trapped in time, to a medium that is Emin is so well loved, I believe, because week. Far from disappointed, I erased He loves to collaborate with others. free of time, which exists in space now. It’s she sits perfectly in the container that says that shabby waste of space from my “It’s a very good way of getting to know become what I call a plastic medium.” ‘fascinating female artist.’” diary and looked for places closer to someone.  ey say that you should never “I can guarantee that all the interest- Outside it is dark, though the light in Bri- the library. marry someone until you’ve gone camp- ing things that happen with apps will be an’s room never changes – due, perhaps, to “So Lettice, what will you be writing ing with them, how you really don’t know similar to that, they will be nothing to do the marbled paint on those lightbulbs, or about?  e Buttery’s spinach slices?” someone until you’ve seen them in a stress- with video games.  ere are three or four the eff ect of the shifting stream of music So went quite a few conversations at ful situation, and I think it’s true when that are interesting, one which is a sort of echoing from the hanging boomboxes. Varsity’s fi rst bonding drinks. It was you’re working with someone, it’s sort of oriental music making machine, and it’s Here, time runs slow, as with Brian’s col- then that I began to worry. when you’re tired and things haven’t been absolutely beautiful and quite mysteri- laborative project e Clock of the Long Am I alone in this love for butteries? going that well that day, if the relationship ous: that’s a little seed of the future there. Now, which strikes every 1,000 years. Particularly those found on Sidgwick holds up, then it’s pretty strong. Some- Brian’s new ‘Dark Drum’ mix sounds Site? Am I a buttery-aholic? Do I want times you meet people that you get on ‘Most critics and most like the strange journey we’ve been on to be permanently associated with terribly well with, but there is no working around his studio, from one disorienting a place resembling a petrol station, relationship, because you agree too much people who write about world to another. We ask how he chooses even one inexplicably decorated with with each other.” from the thousands of snippets and musi- pictures of elephants? We’ve been recording the interview on art, are still stuck with a cal sketches he creates, just like the one he A place that specializes in – an iPhone and suddenly get a call, momen- romantic notion of what has made with us, and how he knows when appropriately enough – excessively tarily disconcerting him. It seems a good a track is fi nished. “I feel something has buttery jacket potatoes as well as time to ask him about the iPad, iPhone, an artist is‘ worked when I get a feeling about a spe- items with rather mystifying names: Apple era. “I think what interests me about cifi c time and a place, or a kind of weather what could be in a Bombay Crunch apps and all other new technologies is Most of the apps I see, they’re histori- or something. I don’t want to just hear sandwich? that everything invented is invented for a cal – like what’s that famous one, fucking music, I’m not actually interested in music, What could NOT be in a Bombay historical reason. People invented multi- angry birds or something? – It’s fi ne, but more what it can generate and make you Crunch sandwich? Are the mysteries track recording, not so Phil Spector could it’s nothing new, that’s not the future, that’s feel. I want to be able to think, ‘Oh yes, I of the buttery to me what the culinary come along and do fabulous things, but the past. Apps should be the future.” can feel that place, it’s quite chilly.’” secrets of the Ivy are to Cheryl Cole? If simply so that recording engineers could Having taken on so many different After fi ve hours of Brian composing, so, is that really alright? have the voice and the band on separate roles, app maker, visual artist, lecturer, we answering, thinking and remembering, After this long, hard look at myself tracks so that they could balance after the wonder whether he minds being labeled in we emerge from his studio somewhat I have decided to elevate my eating event. Multitrack recording started for people’s minds as a musician alone. dazed to encounter the outside world once to new levels of sophistication. And the most mundane reason of all, simply “People think, particularly in Eng- more. It’s safe to say that Eno has taught us thankfully, this decision comes at the so we don’t have to pay the musicians so land, that I have a short attention span, something. perfect time.  ere is a new kid on the block: that’s right, there is a new buttery on Sidgwick Site. Indeed it is so classy that it is not even called a buttery. It is  e Arc Cafe. You can imagine the glitterati cooing down mobile phones: “Ah Cheryl, I will see you at the Arc for a roasted mushroom, followed by a free sample of a sickeningly sweet hazelnut latte?”  e food is really that exotic, and almost edible! Plus it is entirely walled by fl oor to ceiling glass windows, a la an airport departure lounge, off ering me views of fellow students fl ying conscientiously towards lectures and – this is the Arc Cafe’s only fl aw – off ering them an insight into just how many times I visit. e Comic Strip LEWIS WYNN Pull out and pin up on your board

1. Mist on a Monday morning. Friday Saturday Sunday Monday 3rd 4th 5th 6th AVOID: James Morrison Scott of the Antarctic Baroque Flute Music CoRn ExCHAnGE 8PM; £28.50 CoRn ExCHAnGE 7.30PM; FRoM £5 FitzwilliAM CollEGE 2.30-3PM; FREE Full of bland, emotion-by-numbers narrated by Downton Abbey’s Hugh Patrick welche (baroque flute) and sentiment, this is distressingly insipid and Bonneville accompanied by city of london Francis Knights (harpsichord) perform unchallenging ‘musak’ at its worst. Sinfonia, this tour retraces the steps of 18th-century chamber music. Captain Scott’s ill-fated expedition to the 2. Searching for Wittgenstein’s grave. South Pole in music, images and words. music

Lemon Tree Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Under the Bombs RM.1, ASiAn StuDiES FAC, 1.15-3.30PM; FREE FiSHER BuilDinG, St. joHn’S, 7&10PM RM. n7, PEMBRoKE CollEGE 8PM; FREE Portrays the legal efforts of a Palestinian English language adaptation of the best Part of the 2012 Festival of Middle widow to stop the israeli Defense selling Swedish novel by Stieg larsson. Eastern Film; a mother’s desperate search Minister, her next door neighbour, from Starring Daniel Craig, Rooney Mara and for her missing son in southern lebanon destroying the lemon trees in her family Christopher Plummer. under israeli attack. (lebanon, 2011) Film farm. open to all university members.

Against Qualia Banking in China GRounD FlooR, DEPt oF ExP. PSyCH. 4.30-6PM KEynES RM. 1, KinG’S CollEGE, 3-5PM Sex Differences in Mind 3. Searching for Kafka in the market. 15 CHAuCER RoAD, 4-5.30PM; FREE Prof. tim Crane discusses the problem of Steven timwell talks as part of the China

Ks Simon Baron-Cohen discusses the consciousness, and how to understand Research Seminar Series; suitable for hypothesis that there are “male brains” ways in which conscious events, states people who are interested in knowing built to understand mechanical systems, and processes are realised in the brain. more about China-related research topics. and “female brains”, hard-wired for empathy and reasoning about others. tal

Rookie Thyestes Corpus Smoker CoRPuS PlAyRooMS 9.30PM; £6/ £5 ADC tHEAtRE 11PM; £6 CoRPuS PlAyRooMS9.30PM; £6/ £5 (until 4th) A new sketch show featuring (last night) with characters locked in one of Cambridge’s newest and most six of Cambridge’s favourite female a never-ending struggle for control, the successful comedy nights. comedians, variously described as furious pace and outrageous spectacle of ‘Funny,’ ‘odd’ and ‘Stalkerish’. this play is brought from the court of nero 4. The most amazing charity shop, on Mill Road. View to the heart of Cambridge.

POD: Sincerely, L. Cohen READ: Complete Larkin Queen’s Diamond Jubilee HttP://www.BBC.Co.uK/PRoGRAMMES/ PHiliP lARKin, ED. ARCHiE BuRnEtt ouR BElovED BRitAnniA jarvis Cocker speaks to the legendary this new edition of Complete Poems, God save our gracious Queen, long live Y in leonard Cohen about song-writing, loves including 700-plus pages of scholarship our noble Queen. Raise a glass to Her and life ahead of the release of ‘old and material both familiar and unseen, Majesty today. Sixty years on the throne ideas’, his 12th studio album. is a must-have for pretty much anyone and not a step out of place.

sta interested in poetry.

Chinese New Year ArcSoc Cabaret Pub Quiz 5. Lunch time as an English student. 7PM CAMBRiDGE union 9PM-2AM CAMBRiDGE union 8PM Celebrate the start of a new year of the Roll up! Roll up! the spotlight is on. Are Grab a team of six and show off your Dragon. with Chinese music, decoration you ready to play? ArcSoc is BACK! we general knowledge for the chance to win and, most importantly, a delicious buffet are the performers, the dance floor is our some brilliant prizes. of Chinese food favourites. stage. go out

6. Some people spend too much time in the library. 1. cambridge cheese company 3. the red Brick cafe 5. haggis Farm A particularly pungent Eden, whiff Robinson’s crowning glory, full Seat of university polo, perfect for those stilton fumes up your nostrils of procrastinators and irresistibly charging around at speed and My Cambridge and feel alive. squashy sofas. feeling all grievances dissipate at sending a tiny ball soaring into the 2. the magic Joke shop 4. the rope swing air with a large croquet mallet. Week Every now and again, the only Hidden in Granchester meadows, possible answer ito the problem is for the most frivolous of danger- Charlotte Bellamy, Robinson, thea hawlin a red curly wig and a hula skirt. seekers. Philosophy student. 1st Year, murraY edwards miXed uP ■ ■ Molotov Not to be confused with the ingredients method CoCKtAil incendiary weapon of the 1 part Russian vodka 1. Pour the shot of Russian same name! is is a cocktail 1 part 151 proof rum vodka into a shot glass for those who want to enjoy 6 parts bravery a more peaceful sort of fi ery 12 parts foolishness 2. Add a splash of 151 proof oliVer rees dissent. rum. do understand how planes fl y. Honestly. But it NB: a thousand health and ■ You will need 3. Ignite and serve! doesn’t stop me from believing that they won’t. safety regulations apply. Lighter Last weekend I fl ew back from Bologna but, Safety goggles and fire Shot glass 4. We recommend that you as always, I just couldn’t believe that we were extinguishers at the ready Fire extinguisher extinguish before drinking. allI thousands of feet above the sea. Every time I fl y please. on a plane it just makes me so proud to be human, because it reminds me how impossible the idea really is. Did you know that 500,000 people are in the air at any one time? Amazing. Did you know that my brother wants to become a pilot? Amaz- ing. Flying demonstrates how an idea that may have Monday Tuesday Wednesday Th ursday seemed like ridiculous a fantasy a hundred years ago, can be made possible by innovation and think- th th th th ing diff erently. 6 7 8 9 Uni Jazz Orchestra Scout Killers Kate Jackson ADC tHEAtRE 11PM; £6/£5 PoRtlAnD ARMS 8PM; £3 PoRtlAnD ARMS 8PM; £7 ADv. Cujo have won gold awards in Critics have said ‘they kind of remind me Gone is the angular guitar that made uK-wide big band competitions and of nickleback but, you know, not shit’. the long Blondes’ music so popular. have collaborated with world-famous Sounds promising ... in its place, former lead-singer Kate musicians, composers and arrangers. jackson sings from a melodic solo album infl uenced by and Brian Eno.

Under the Bombs Economics of Happiness Politics and Sustainability VARSITY ACCoStED unwillinG StuDEntS AFtER tHEiR 9AM lECtuRE RM. n7, PEMBRoKE CollEGE 8PM; FREE ARtS PiCtuREHouSE 6.45PM CB1 CAFE, Mill RoAD 19:30-9PM; FREE to ASK tHEM wHAt tHEy woulD MoSt liKE to SEE invEntED. Part of the 2012 Festival of Middle A documentary about the worldwide How do sustainability policies get made, Eastern Film; a mother’s desperate search movement for economic localisation and how can we infl uence them? leading In Cambridge, RAG jailbreak showed just how for her missing son in southern lebanon followed by a Q&A session with this evening will be Phil Callaghan, ou this is possible. Would anyone believe that two under israeli attack. (lebanon, 2011) economist Professor Sir Partha Dasgupta. lecturer and former senior government Cambridge students with no money and only three offi cial. days could get all the way to Singapore, or Hong Kong, or Miami?  ough it seems unlikely, they did, and it just goes to show how much you can do with determination. Sex Diff erences in Mind Human Rights Rev. Ian Paisley Women and Global Market 15 CHAuCER RoAD, 4-5.30PM; FREE RM. 9, 8 Mill lAnE, 5-6.30PM CAMBRiDGE union 7.30PM; FREE to MEMBERS RM. 9, 8 Mill lAnE, 5-7PM; FREE Simon Baron-Cohen discusses the Baroness Helena Kennedy engages with As First Minister of northern ireland in A look at the impact of globalisation on hypothesis that there are “male brains” the claims of cultural relativism and steers 2007, Rev. ian Paisley made a deal with women from sex traffi cking to domestic built to understand mechanical systems, a course through the struggle for human the Republicans which has been hailed servitude to migrant labour and other and “female brains”, hard-wired for rights in societies which are multi-ethnic as a great breakthrough towards a more forms of exploitation. empathy and reasoning about others. and multi-religious. peaceful northern ireland.

Corpus Smoker Canterbury Tales Oleanna Machine of Death CoRPuS PlAyRooMS9.30PM; £6/ £5 ADC tHEAtRE 7.45PM; £6 CoRPuS PlAyRooMS 7PM; £6/ £5 CoRPuS PlAyRooMS 9.30PM; £6/ £5 one of Cambridge’s newest and most (until 11th) See Chaucer’s famous tales (until 11th) Carol asks her professor for (last night)the Machine of Death can successful comedy nights. expressed through a variety of genres extra tuition, and he agrees, as long predict, with complete accuracy, how including puppetry, physical theatre and as she meets with him privately and you are going to die. it gives no date,  ough it can be scary to challenge the things operetta style. frequently. when an allegation of rape is no specifi cs, only an informative slip of you see around you, it is the human race’s special- made, truth becomes irrelevant. paper. ity. My girlfriend, Anna, was talking to me about how unfair the education system is in the UK, and about how she wants to change it. And I know she will. And when you meet and see so many people Queen’s Diamond Jubilee and Pringle around you changing things, and seeing a diff erent ouR BElovED BRitAnniA HttP://www.DAzEDDiGitAl.CoM/FASHion and improved vision of the world, and fi ghting for God save our gracious Queen, long live to celebrate the Scottish brand’s fi rst it, there is nothing more refreshing.  e world does our noble Queen. Raise a glass to Her season on thecorner.com, the inimicable not need to be this way, and the bad can be changed Majesty today. Sixty years on the throne tilda Swinton fi lmed this interview with to good. and not a step out of place. Pringle’s new creative director. watch it online.

Pub Quiz Tangobar Hammer & Tongue Filthy Lucre 2 CAMBRiDGE union 8PM St. PAul’S, HillS RD., 7.30-8.30PM, £5/ £3 tHE FountAin, 12 REGEnt StREEt 8PM, £5 tHE vAultS 9PM onwARDS; £5 Grab a team of six and show off your no need to book, no previous experience Sign up to compete in this poetry slam, Music by joe Bates, Bjork, Bombay general knowledge for the chance to win neccessary, no need to bring a partner, or just listen. Dizraeli is a renowned Bicycle Club, neone, late of the Pier, some brilliant prizes. just wear comfortable clothes (slippery rapper, singer, and poet. local fella inja Portishead, Radiohead and more. soled shoes are best). does everything from dubstep to freestyle poetry.

theatre editor art editor senior arts

Rookie TALK - Grey matters Cambridge Series Poetry Readings Even Dwarves Started Small tues 31 jan - Sat 4 Feb 9.30PM thu 9 Feb 5.30 - 7.30PM thu 9 Feb 8PM Mon 6 Feb 7PM,Architecture Department Free Corpus Playrooms £6/ £5 Fitzwilliam Museum Free new Music Rm., First Court, St john’s

Werner Herzog’s fi lm is set in a dismal mental institution, wherein A new sketch show featuring six of John Kinsella, Jane Munro and Chris- Poets featured this week will be Alice dwell several midgets and other ‘oddities’. Sick of being tormented Cambridge’s favourite female come- topher Cook challenge our notional Notley, Anthony Barnett and Ralph and exploited by the so-called ‘normal’ people of the world, the dians. ‘limitations’ of monochrome. Hawkins. inmates take over the asylum. Helen Cahill Holly Gupta Zoe Large

want to draw a mind map, take your week in pictures, or see your event listed on these pages? get in touch with [email protected] 14 MUSIC FEBRUARY 3 2012 — WEEK 3

RORYListen WILLIAMSON he activists are at it again. Last Diamond Mine: simple treasures week saw the announcement Joey Frances talks to King Creosote and Jon Hopkins about their Mercury-nominated album, of the first release from Occupation Records, an fi nding a refreshing humility that is refl ective of their record’s quiet, subtle beauty Torganization set up to gather together the eff orts of the many artists in support of the Occupy London protest and its aving worked together on the music that they wanted to make. counterparts across the UK. various projects over the “When we started recording songs  e album, in true DIY style, will be last decade or so, Jon Hop- there was no end result, no goal; we available in exchange for a donation, kins and King Creosote just wanted to record songs together,” the proceeds of which will be funneled (Kenny Anderson) released their fi rst Anderson tells me. “It wasn’t until we both to Occupy London and related Hfully collaborative album, the Mercury- had 15 minutes worth that we thought, movements on a wider scale. nominated Diamond Mine, in March ‘another 6 minutes and we’ve got an The cause is one fully worth 2011. One of the things that comes album.’” supporting, and is a testament to the through most clearly when talking to  is goes hand in hand with a kind of enduring power of music as a source not them is the great mutual respect which confi dence, of having stuck to their the- only of dissent but also of an outlet for binds their relationship both as collab- people to unite their dissenting voices. orating musicians and as friends. ‘The whole thing was However, the line-up of this record, Hopkins tells me they fi rst began to entitled Folk the Banks, is far from work together predominantly because about making the least heartening: ageing legends though they he was a fan of Anderson’s music. pretentious record that may be, it’s hard to envision the national When I ask about the tensions of col- imagination being enraptured by Ani laboration between two artists used to we could make’ DiFranco, Tom Morello and Billy Bragg. working with very diff erent genres, I The fact that the artwork for the am unequivocally told that, in this case, record was designed by Jamie Reid, there are none.  ere is a strong divi- oretically uncommercial convictions, who designed the cover of ‘God Save sion of labour in their work: Hopkins and a disdain for the more mainstream Close pals and musical collaborators, Jon Hopkins and Kenny Anderson the Queen,’ only further points to this reworks and arranges King Creosote’s music industry. Anderson expresses movement’s inadequacy; punk it ain’t. songs as he wishes, taking as his start- some dissatisfaction with the fact that Yet this album has, by comparison increasing interest in this record, in From the seething rage of that ing point the aim to create a back drop anything with an accordion and some with the pair’s solo work, sold well, a keeping with the kind of music they movement to the abrasive feminism of which best brings out Anderson’s seagull sounds will be received as a fact they gracefully acknowledge. “ e believe they have created: it’s slow and Riot Grrrl, other political movements vocals. In return, Anderson gains a “coastal record,” and with the tendency reason this album works really well is melancholy, with an unassuming grace show a vitality this project seems new perspective on the songs he has for his music to be lumped into a folk that we made it away from all of the that sinks in more with each attentive distinctly to lack. Given the vigour of written, which are arranged in a way he category that is somewhat beside the constraints of making an album,” says listen.. the protest, it seems there is a dearth of could never do himself, something he point. Anderson. I wonder if there will be “To get everything out of Diamond active, relevant musicians to do justice fi nds “fresh and inspiring.” Any push I make for big themes more constraints on any future collab- Mine,” says Anderson, “you should to and raise the voices of its supporters.  e Domino Recording Company’s around which to spin the discussion oration, as a result of their increased really sit down in a quiet room and just So where is the movement to match website refers to Diamond Mine as a (such as the relation of this album to recognition; however, I’m assured that listen to it all.” And with their current this widespread political unrest? If it’s “genuine labour of love”; this admit- its home in the East Neuk of Fife) hits if outside forces start imposing, “we’ll tour all but sold out, more evidence to be found in Sam Duckworth, (AKA tedly clichéd statement is justifi ed by against the same rebuttal.  is album just remind them of what made Dia- than just theirs or mine suggests that Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. ), one of the the pair’s attitude towards each other’s was not made out of conscious deci- mond Mine a success.” this kind of eff ort pays off . few new musicians on work. As I probe further into the pro- sions to evoke this sound or that set of Amongst all this is an admission,  ey tell me that there’s a new col- Folk the Banks, then it cess of creating the record, this is only ideas, but crafted in a place they both without arrogance, that Hopkins and lection of songs in the pipeline; they’ve might well be time to strengthened; the way they worked love, out of the simple impulse to make Anderson know they have created written a number of new songs which, despair. on the album seems almost casual, music that sounds just right. “The something special here. As they point in typical unhurried fashion, they and their humility feels like the mark whole thing was about making the least out, copies didn’t fly off the racks, might, or might not, start recording at of musicians who have made exactly pretentious record we could make.” but there has been consistent and the end of 2012.

Attack on Memory is a refreshing change from the passive indie He is still dealing with the same themes he always has music of the moment, a throwback to a less self-aware time” but...he hasn’t lost an ounce of his charm or ability” ●●● Last year, Cleveland’s Dylan But the album isn’t a complete over- ●●●  ere’s a certain fear that accom- stride right to the forefront (‘Show Me Baldi’s one-man band Cloud Nothings haul of their past material. If this album panies any new releases from an old, the Place,’ ‘Come Healing’).  e 3rd released their debut album, a collec- really launches an off ensive on any established artist; always the hope they person opening track ‘Going Home’ tion of eff ulgent pop cuts with barely memories, it’s by combining the proto- haven’t gone completely mad in the displays his self-critical wit, as intact any songs stretching past the 3 minute emo pop-rock album tracks of the interim, the hope they can still capa- and punchy as it has ever been, as he mark. His sophomore effort finally mid-90s with the band’s own tones. bly produce music that is not merely remarks, “He will speak these words of feels like a full band rather than one  e breezy ‘Stay Useless’ resembles a a rehash of what has been and gone wisdom / Like a sage, a man of vision auteur calling the shots. If the title is Pinkerton-era Weezer track in the best before. /  ough he knows he’s really nothing anything to go by, Baldi wants to burst possible way; a self-loathing soliloquy Cohen’s aptly titled Old Ideas is a / But the brief elaboration of a tube.” the bubblegum sound of their past and boasting a raucous riff designed to be beautifully wry nod to his honest and Brief elaboration indeed. If only we start all over again. blasted out on an angst-addled Tues- plain acknowledgement of this fear. could all be so lucky. Opener ‘No Future / No day afternoon. ‘Fall In,’ on the other He is still dealing with the  e singing praises need not persist. Attack on Old Ideas Memory Past’ is certainly a stark hand, could have been separated at same themes he always has  e album is a true pleasure – sure to wake up call for their pre- birth from Green Day’s Dookie. but, despite the ripe age of please already eager fans and perhaps, Cloud Nothings vious fanbase, featuring a In no way are these comparisons Leonard Cohen seventy-seven, he hasn’t lost with its more stark approach, pull in a ★★★★★ ★★★★★ climbing crescendo and disparaging; Attack on Memory is a an ounce of his charm or few new listeners who may have been building from a down- refreshing change from the passive indie ability. afraid of his more synthesizer driven tuned, despondent beginning into a music of the moment, a throwback to a  ose more accustomed to Cohen’s forays in years past.  e only problem blisteringly heavy fi nale. less self-aware, more self-aggrandising output from the 80s and 90s will note here is one of innovation.  e epic album stand-out, ‘Wasted time. It is a worthy homage to Baldi’s the sparseness of this most recent As addressed before, Cohen is Days,’ similarly morphs into a rampage influences, but unfortunately lacks release. Gone are the drum machines acutely aware that his words follow of white noise and shoegazing guitars their beating, near bursting heart and and dense productions of old; instead, the same themes they always have: the that both  urston Moore and Kevin is therefore a diffi cult record to fall for. we are presented with impressive and arrangements, songwriting, produc- Shields would be proud of. Dominic Kelly persistent minimalism, a bare-bones tion, all incredibly solid and for Cohen, instrumentation that allows his voice risk-free. to carry through. While some of his contemporaries House Without a Door Pussy Whipped And to whom it may concern: his have engaged in bizarre (and largely LE BOEUF BROTHERS (2009) BIKINI KILL (1993) voice has not lost its beauty. It remains unsuccessful) departures elsewhere, be deep and hypnotic as ever; the man it Christmas albums or covering jazz Genetics can work some serious musical Worth far more than a simple nod to the is still blessed with one of the most standards, Cohen keeps doing what he wonders - identical twins Pascal (piano) famous ‘Rebel Girl,’ this record burns powerful and unique instruments in knows he does well; a mild disappoint- and Remy (saxophone) Le Boeuf have with volatile energy to this day. Kathleen popular music history, a revelation that ment perhaps, but it may well be for created one hell of a record. There is Hanna’s impassioned caterwaul raises just keeps on giving. Novelty value be the best. an unusual disparity and complexity these frenetic punk songs to startlingly damned. Cohen doesn’t need it.  at’s the end of it.  e whole record to these compositions, from the driving vital statements of intent. Pussy-Whipped Cohen’s lyrics have always been is a pleasure: clean, excellently written, etude ‘Tabula Rasa,’ reminiscent of goes much deeper than mere oppositional likened to poetry, and that’s no less but ultimately predictable. Another Chopin, to the fragmented ‘Code Word,’ attitude; its fearless confrontation of sex true of his current output. On display good record by a great artist, acting the staggering like a broken record. This is and violence is so powerful that the here is a wonderful mixture of self- way we’ve come to expect. Perhaps I’m what puts these boys in a class of their waves continue to be felt today. On top deprecation and humour, love and being hard on an old man. own, in a New York jazz scene already of all that, it’s also riotously good fun. spirituality. But that voice. Oh that wonderful saturated with talent. Theo Evan Rory Williamson Influences of gospel music, per- voice. haps more hidden in his older records, eo Evan WEEK 3 — FEBRUARY 3 2012 BOOKS 15

Are they really righting the world? CHARLOTTERead KEITH Laura Blomvall asks whether books - and discussing them - can claim to change anything for the better et me tell you a story: the writer-as-sell-out. CHARLOTTE BELLAMY Up-and-coming, radical o writers have a responsibil- “Everything is political” (a maxim every that it only considered the issue from young writer, angry and ity to refl ect and comment on Arts student will be familiar with, fre- the point of view of the writer: the act disaffL ected, produces brilliantly the society in which they live? quently invoked in attempts to justify of reception was hardly touched on – avant-garde work. Struggle Or is it perverse to view ‘the the study of the Humanities).“Writers and yet the politics of writing are fi nally with conservative publishers. Dwriter’ as some kind of shaman with have responsibilities not necessarily as realized in the act of reading. Jane Possible starvation in garret. unique insight and responsibility? And writers”, she said, “but as citizens, like Austen was a reactionary Tory to one Actually, scrap that, this isn’t the why does contemporary British fi ction the rest of us.” Well, clearly. generation; to another, a radical femi- nineteenth century – scathing seem so little engaged with contem- She argued that critics have cre- nist. Peter Brook’s world tour of his cultural commentary blog. Finally porary British life?” – from the LRB ated a false dichotomy between ‘the 1962 King Lear showed how painful published; genius recognized. publicity blurb. literary’ and ‘the personal’. “Pigeon Eng- political experience in Eastern Europe Darling of literary world. Money,  ursday January 26th.  e London lish, Snowdrops, Half Blood Blues, all can turn into histrionic melodrama in fame, book-signings. But success Review Bookshop is crammed. Just short-listed for the Man Booker prize, New York. Readers and viewers have of fi rst work can never be over a hundred people are sitting sip- their own agendas too. repeated once ‘integrity’ has been ping wine, listening to – and sometimes ‘The present is not Another question left undebated sacrifi ced by complicity with that participating in – a debate entitled e was the fi nal one from the publicity notorious chimera, the Literary Politics of Writing. Unsurprisingly, this inevitable: that is the blurb: “Why does contemporary Brit- Establishment.  e same thing starts off with the writers’ refl ections ish fi ction seem so little engaged with happens to rappers, except they can on the responsibility they feel comes point of dissent’ contemporary British political life?” then use the angst as subject matter with the job.  e growing trend for historical fi ction for all future albums. Middle-brow For journalist and author Marina were extremely political. But the crit- can be seen as refl ective of a desire for literary success is somehow less Benjamin, writing becomes political ics were so busy moaning that these escapism: at the 2010 Edinburgh Book interesting. Good story, perhaps, when it is “critically engaged”. Research- books weren’t culturally representa- Festival, A.S. Byatt commented that goal of the past. In the present, history but it’s based on a warped idea of ing the plight of Jews exiled from Iraq tive that they turned a blind eye to their “most novels about ‘life as it really is’ can take many directions – for better or ‘the artist’. When it comes down to for her latest book, she became con- political dimension.  ere is political are not interested in a very wide range for worse – and the actions of all sorts it, writers are simply people who scious of the search not only for her writing”, she said forcefully. “You just of things.” of ordinary individuals relate to ‘his- have a way with words (or, in some own roots, but also for the voice of an have to see it.” So, can writing change Gee argued that being a political tory’ in ways as important as those of lamentable cases, not). Tempting as unheard community. She was, she said, society? For Owen Jones, whose Chavs: writer means writing about the “polis”, politicians, although that relationship is it is to lampoon writers who make “both personal and detached”, writing e Demonization of the Working Class the society surrounding the author. “I clearly a more subtle one. public gaff es, it’s important to bear as an individual and as the representa- was published last June, writing is “just have always written about the present,  e present is not inevitable: there in mind that they are basically like tive of a collective. a means to an end”. “ e writer is not about the now”, she said. But might his- are always alternatives.  at is the point the rest of us, often with quirky Maggie Gee, meanwhile, whose accountable for what he says. He has torical fi ction fi t the bill after all?  e of dissent. What this evening did prove (read: downright novel The White Family was short not been elected, he does not represent genre is arguably part of a growing was that writing can lead to discussion, strange) views. Great listed for the 2003 Orange Prize for anyone. Writing can refl ect changes, interest in social history, which tries to which can lead to a shared feeling of dis- books can change Fiction, predictably tried to argue for it can explore what is happening, but recover voices from the margins. sent. Whether that can lead to action, the world, but so a wider defi nition of politics. Just as it cannot cause change in society.” Presenting historical events from the remains an open question. I should like can awful ones: predictably, she was forced by this posi- A refreshingly realistic – if defeatist point of view of individuals in the midst to think that it is not pure fi ction to what matters is that tion into making vacuous statements – perspective. of them removes the false determinism hope so – but I may be an optimist. they get read at all. such as “My duty is for the truth”, and  e major failing of the debate was that sees the present as the inevitable Laura Blomvall

state intrusion, religious censorship, and the cost I won’t patronise de Botton in the same way that of delivering truth to the masses” he patronises religion, but this is likely to off end”

●●● I remember almost every liberal academics who failed to speak ●●● To coincide with the release of as de Botton admits, is likely to off end moment of my Cambridge admis- out in favour of freedom of speech and this book, de Botton has proposed those on both sides of the debate. sions interview: the awkward pauses, artistic expression, fearing that their that a series of atheist temples be built I won’t patronise de Botton the way the stammering and the sheer terror. support could be viewed as racist. He around the UK, so that his fellow non- he patronises religion, commending its Answering a question on the impor- argues that academics shy away from believers can “have their own versions “intermittent” positives from a pedes- tance of free speech, I appealed to the controversial topics, just as journal- of the great churches and cathedrals”. tal of barely concealed distain. Overall, oft-referenced quote, “I disapprove of ists censor themselves for fear of libel e idea has not been well the book does not work, because it is what you say, but I will defend to the writs. Religion for received. My favourite com- based upon a narrow conception of death your right to say it”. My inter- While some of Cohen’s arguments Atheists: A non- ment on the article outlining religion and atheism as two fundamen- viewer immediately stopped and asked may not be brand new, his take on the believer’s guide to the scheme, posted on the tally opposed camps who ‘steal’ one me whether I really believed that. banking crisis, and the lack of protec- the uses of religion Guardian website reads “what another’s ideas and will not share. In Nick Cohen’s You Can’t Read is tion for whistleblowers within the UK, exactly do I need a temple reality, few atheists would take have a Book asks the same question, forcing us is particularly intriguing. Alain de Botton for? I already have a place to problem with celebrating the beauty ★★★★★ You Can’t Read to examine our consciences From the turn of the millennium, he express my nihilism and to of religious art, and few believers This Book: and take another look at argues, the fi nancial press has failed to feel superior to my religious would run at them screaming ‘hypo- Censorship In An free speech, both in histori- hold bankers to account for the risky friends. It’s called the pub”. Religion crite’ if they did. e problem with Age of Freedom cal terms, and in the world practices that were rife in the fi nancial for Atheists suffers from the same the temples-for-atheists project is that Nick Cohen today. Cohen challenges the sector, due to British libel laws. Simi- conceptual fl aws. An exploration of it is fundamentally unnecessary. e ★★★★★ reader to reassess whether larly, the lack of incentive for employees ‘religion-based’ concepts like com- same could well be said of Religion for western culture actually prepared to speak out meant that we munity and tenderness – which could Atheists, the secular temple’s holy text. embraces free expression, or were not suffi ciently prepared for the “usefully” enrich secular life – is an Emma Greensmith whether it shies away from the chal- crash. obviously precarious premise, which, ●Hamish Hamilton, £18.99, hardback lenges that inevitably accompany it. Cohen has a rare talent for being He details state intrusion, religious expanding eloquently upon a point censorship and the cost of deliver- and providing substantial detail, before ing the truth to the masses: it’s clearly summarising his argument succinctly. an issue that the author feels strongly  is accessibility is the cornerstone of about, judging by the venomous tone the book – quoting South Park and John he frequently adopts, but his skil- Stuart Mill in the same breath, mixing from e Working of Virtue ful manipulation of the written word human interest with political analysis, makes for arguments that combine the and above all, intriguing the reader, I bite, I bite, of course, and whip myself on theoretical with the anecdotal. is no mean feat. He does touch upon To the cold, realistic, organisation, We learn about the experiences of a certain points that demand greater  e promise of the cable-knit sanity, I am handful of characters - Salman Rush- analysis and explanation, namely the Seduced by an equinimitous vision of a nobler me: die, Simon Singh, acclaimed artist issue of super-injunctions and libel law. Ripened full and mellow, turgid with fact Maqbool Husain - involved in very dif- Cohen lambasts the former, but only And truth ferent fi ghts against censorship. One of briefl y touches upon the state of pri- And knowing the most interesting themes running vacy law in the introduction. And ever so balmingly calm and full up… through the book is that of self-cen- Nick Cohen has delivered an excel- But then, horribly sated sorship due to state intervention, lent commentary on the state of free I scratch for the sensual in it; legal costs, racism and even terror- expression today: even if you cannot  e papery, inky, and – we’re told – musty joy in it ism. Discussing the response to the agree with his conclusions, you have to – Of dog-eared learning– and fi nd merely: wanting. Satanic Verses and the Jyllands-Posten admire the skill demonstrated in reach- cartoons controversy, he attributes a ing them. Patrick Kane Lydia Morris-Jones (look online for the full poem) substantial portion of blame to western ●Fourth Estate, £12.99, paperback 16 FIlM FEbRuARy 3 2012 — wEEk 3

WatchINDIA ROSS Film Editor India Ross interviews the debutant director and Cambridge grad, Richard Ayoade ver since the New Wave of The Geek in the Pink the 1950s, the cinema has assumed a position of social urns out, nerds are on the up. commentary to equal the Even before interviewing 5 ON-The-Fly novel. With gritty social realism debutant filmmaker Rich- E College? came a wider understanding of ard Ayoade, it was apparent the disgruntled working classes, fromT the urban-ironic eyewear and St Catharine’s formerly overlooked in the the top-buttoned shirts that he has Favourite filmmaker? luxuriance of early Hollywood and hardly broken ground on Oxbridge Ingmar Bergman film noir. preconceptions; indeed, he is super- Desert island DVD? Ken Loach has been responsible smart, super-edgy, and, frankly, a bit The General of a geek. for numerous milestones in British Favourite band to work with? political dissent, from the heart- Fortunately, in casting the lead for wrenching gloom of Kes, to the his directorial debut, Submarine, he Other than the ones I have worked boldly anti-British The Wind that seems to have found something of a with, Dinosaur Jr Shakes the Barley, while similarly social doppelganger in the newcomer Actor you’d love to cast in a film? unflinching accounts of the lives Craig Roberts, who is shy and awk- Dustin Hoffman of ordinary people arise in Mike wardly cerebral in line with the current Leigh’s Secrets & Lies and Wolfgang wave of teen angst gurus, the likes of “most things I’ve been involved with on Becker’s Good Bye Lenin!. Jesse Eisenberg et al. TV have been cancelled”. Cultural naysaying is more often The film, which upon release At Cambridge, despite a degree of tired and obnoxious than it is smacked of over-hyped offbeatery, is disdain for all but the theatre tech- illuminating; The Help and Avatar in truth a touch more charming, and nicians – “I never met one I didn’t spring to mind. a touch less brutishly intellectual than like”– Ayoade was clearly more of a big Nevertheless, taboos have the usual big-hitting indie. Roberts’ deal than he cares to let on. He is suc- been decimated of late, from an persistent self-awareness differentiates cinct in his evaluation of the Cambridge unsurpassed account of broken Submarine from the rabble, envisioned experience, describing university life as families, Kramer vs. Kramer, to the as “a character with knowledge of com- “Pretentious. Self-conscious. Windy. gay rights biopic Milk. ing-of-age films who is deliberately Angry. Unforgivable.” Winning the No one does dissent quite like trying to reference them in his behav- Martin Steele Prize for play produc- Stanley Kubrick. Forty years on, iour”. Running against Tyrannosaur and tion, and with a year’s stint as President A Clockwork Orange remains the Black Pond for the Outstanding Debut of the , one could be forgiven definitive dystopian masterpiece. BAFTA, evidently Richard Ayoade is a for a little scepticism when he feigns With the parallel accounts of filmmaker to be taken seriously. chance success: “I don’t know if I’ll be regimented madness in the post-war Heavily influenced by the French Richard Ayoade made his directorial debut with the coming-of-age drama, Submarine allowed [to continue making films in western world in films New Wave, his take on youth and its ten years]”. Full Metal Jacket and flawed idealism is reminiscent of The his lukewarm self-appraisal. beloved for The IT Crowd and The Whether his self-deprecation is sin- Dr. Strangelove, Graduate, which Ayoade refers to as Another on the roll call of boringly Mighty Boosh, (along with the standard cere or for show, one can’t help feeling the legacy has “inescapable and unsurpassable”. Citing successful Footlights alumni, in Ayoade job on the side directing music videos, that the time for modesty has been and far outlived the Badlands and Taxi Driver as influences it is evident once again that comic back- apparently a prerequisite for all next- gone. I ask if life has changed since director. “for their interiority”, clearly he is shoot- grounds engender shit-hot filmmaking. big-thing directors), he insists that the releasing such a successful debut: “I ing higher than would be suggested by A reluctant star, already renowned and move into films was a case of do-or-die: don’t think so. I’m still going to die”.

GOING GlObAl This week my critic’s spotlight question involves the shocking Clooney, for the most part, relies on looking either argentina falls upon Argentinian noir rape and murder of a young thriller El Secreto de sus Ojos, woman, and represents the deep and charming, or distracted and charming” the film which unexpectedly biggest failure of his career. stole the highly desired Best Now, as much as for closure as FILM: El Secreto de sus Ojos Foreign Picture Oscar award for anything else, he once again ●●● Jim McAllister in Election, introductory voiceover by Clooney DIRECTOR: Campanella in 2010. digs up the evidence in the Warren Schmidt in About Schmidt, – think a more cynical Wild Thornber- YEAR: 2009 Underpinned by compelling hope of unearthing something and now George Clooney’s troubled rys opening- the film quickly weaves themes of obsession and wrath, new. Matt King in The Descendants; Alexan- through a thick mesh of subplots the film, which initially borders This is the kind of film that der Payne sure has a penchant for the accompanied by a tinkling and wistful on predictable, soon becomes stays with you long after you emotionally fraught and embittered Hawaiian soundtrack, rarely lagging. irresistibly captivating. watch it. The culmination of male protagonist. His latest offering The writing is sharp – Clooney com- Whilst writing a novel, events leads to a thrilling finale sees Clooney in Hawaii, struggling ments how some of the most powerful retired legal agent Esposito which, for me, positions the with a wife in a coma, two troubled, men in Hawaii look like “bums and decides to revisit a closed case film firmly at the top of any list The Descendants angst-ridden daughters, stuntmen” and the action is impul- in which he had once become of modern thrillers. and a sideline of bicker- sive and unpredictable with surprise deeply embroiled. The case in Alice Bolland Alexander Payne ing cousins concerned punches and flailing runs. Payne is ★★★★★ about the sale of family keen to emphasise the ‘trouble in par- land. adise’ shtick but it’s a bit patronising The plot isn’t especially and contrived. revolutionary; various dysfunctional Matt King hasn’t the dissectible char- family members learn some secrets acter quirks of Schmidt or McAllister, Cine-fileDISSeNT about themselves and each other, drift Clooney, for the most part relying on apart, drift back together, try to heal looking either deep and charming, or It is hard to know where to start resorting to cannibalism. scars et cetera et cetera; nevertheless distracted and charming. when considering dissent in In a world turned upside Payne attacks it artfully. The themes The much-praised emotional vul- cinema so I’ll take Werner down Herzog plays with ideas are heavy; death, lies and cuckoldry, nerability and rawness of his depiction Herzog’s, Even Dwarfs Started of the grotesque, a manner but he skirts the pitfalls of melodrama, seems more an appreciation of a Small (1970) as a starting that plays on an audience’s injecting wit and farce amid the tears change in appearance – his wrinkles point. Herzog’s belief has reluctance to identify with the and cloying metaphors likening fami- are more pronounced and he has bags always been that “film is not characters on screen. lies to archipelagos. Following an awful under his eyes – than a particularly the art of scholars but of illit- Fantastically awkward in many powerful portrayal. He is far outshone erates” and this film, a dark look senses, Herzog underlines very by a stellar supporting cast: Shailene at the consequences of imprisonment simply the potential consequences of Woodley, in particular, as his rebellious and rebellion, sheds light on the topic of imprisonment and a lack of basic liberty. older daughter is far more memorable dissent. You will laugh for a while when you – bitter and vulnerable – and entirely A cast comprised entirely of little watch this film, perhaps like with the convincing throughout. people (the first of its kind since the 1938 closing line of his recent film The Cave of The Descendants is funny and mel- western, The Terror of Tiny Town) the film Forgotten Dreams (2010), then the reality ancholy and imperfect; skillfully follows a rebellion in an institution in a will sink in, and the dwarfs won’t seem so capturing the messy intricacies of world in which everyone’s a dwarf. After small. Tom Hart family relationships. It may be slush- an inmate is taken hostage, the remaining EvEn Dwarfs startED small will bE ier and less cutting than Payne’s other inmates run amok as the place descends sCREEnEd FOR FREE – ARChitECtuRE dEPt – films but it still cements him as a great into madness with even the chickens MOndAy 6th FEbRuARy At 7PM

and ambitious Hollywood talent. Abby On a similar theme: Hunger (steve mcQueen, 2008), Zabriskie Point (antonioni, 1970) Kearney ● The Descendants is currently George Clooney plays troubled man in Oscar-nominated film showing at the Arts Picturehouse WEEK 3 — FEBRUARY 3 2012 ART 17

HOLLYLook GUPTA SamArt Hunt &looks backDissent: at a year of scare Where’s and support for the world’s Weiwei? ‘most powerful artist’ ooking back at the events PHOTOS BY MARTIN PARR surrounding Ai WeiWei (see n 3rd April last year, published a list of 5,835 names of stu- Sam Hunt’s article), I am the artist Ai Weiwei dents killed in the Sichuan earthquake struck by how little I have to disappeared from of 2008 – a list that he compiled as part Lsay about the physical traces of his public view. About to of an investigation into the poor con- practice: the objects, installations take a fl ight from Bei- struction of the collapsed schools. His and structures. We’re interested in jing airport, he was investigation led to police beating him ‘the artworld’s most powerful fi gure’ stopped and detained by Chinese offi - as he attempted to bear witness for Tan because of who he is: a political Ocials, who took him into custody, not to Zuoren, another investigator working activist and ‘cultural fi gure’, creator be seen by the public eye for 81 days. No on the project. of words and ideas. news of his whereabouts was released One of Ai Weiwei’s most high-pro- Twitter and 24-hour media have for days, until the Chinese govern- fi le pieces of art was his commission for allowed artists, musicians, actors ment announced that he was being held the Turbine Hall of the Tate Modern in and politicians, like everyone else, under charges of “economic crimes”. October 2010. His installation of one to become a self-professed (insert Funnily enough, not many people are hundred million scattered sunfl ower occupation here): anyone can truly deceived, since Weiwei is currently seeds made out of porcelain, each one become a social commentator, one of the most controversial artists in hand-painted by a team of 1,600 Chi- celebrity or, going full circle, artist. China, speaking words the government nese artisans in the town of Jingdezhen, Not to say that Ai Wei-Wei didn’t would be willing to silence. questioned and explored the role of the have had a leg up because of who he Weiwei was voted the art’s most individual in the society with its mag- was to begin with - which is where powerful voice in the Art Review’s nitude, and commented upon mass those objects and installations come “power 100” list in 2011, in which they consumption and the methods of Chi- into this. Without such a successful commented on how “Any public state- career in art and design, Ai would ment he made on China quickly became ‘He does not stand for profi t, probably never have gained such a world news. Ai’s subsequent political or for fame, but for voice.’ dedicated following. detention, and the outcry that followed, Artists, over the rest of us, have only increased the appetite of a public nese industry. Only a month after the had this power for longer than we already keen to see the artist’s work.” installation was opened in the Tate, the might think. Or to put it another Weiwei also made the top 10 of Time Chinese government ordered Weiwei’s way: this phenomenon isn’t that magazine’s most infl uential people in Shaghai studio to be demolished, after new. Carra and Boccioni, two of the the world, showing how his voice car- months of supporting its construction. creators of the Futurist Manifestos, ries beyond art to resonate, gaining Last year, after his release, Weiwei are as famous for writing on noise, political recognition. His words have was banned from discussing his con- music, cinema, politics and the sparked debates, his art has caused awe fi nement with the press. A source close sent him money to help him with the were signed, numerous voices spoke universe as for any painting and and controversy in equal measures, and to him, however, disclosed what he fees of his approaching court case, to out, and yet the crisis for Weiwei is still sculpture they ever did – which has his treatment by the Chinese govern- could not – that he had been “close to appeal over the £1.6m fi ne the Chinese on-going. also made its mark. Does the fact ment has received a global outcry of death”; that they had attempted to break government have charged him for his tax Ai Weiwei’s art stands for the basic that they were published in print protest. him into submission through multi- evasion. During his confi nement, gal- right of every human being to freedom rather than on tumblr Weiwei helped to design the Bird’s ple intense interrogations. He had not leries across the globe made gestures of of expression. He does not stand for matter? Artists will Nest for the 2008 Summer Olympics in been allowed outside, and had to ask outrage, with the Tate Modern plaster- profi t, or for fame, but for voice.  e continue to have the Beijing, but then attempted to entirely the guards for their permission to drink ing the words “RELEASE AI WEIWEI” current crackdown on dissent in China power to speak out, distance himself from the project. His or use the toilet – he was even made to on its outer wall.  e Museum of Con- is a reaction to the protests erupting regardless of the incredibly popular blog, full of his polit- salute as he did so. temporary Art in San Diego organised a throughout Africa and the Middle East, nature of their work ical opinions, was visited by 10,000  e outcry against the treatment of twenty-four hour silent protest, includ- say Human Rights groups, since up to or their message. people a day before it was shut down in Weiwei has been an international move- ing both staff and visitors, in an attempt 25 other dissidents have recently disap- May 2009.  is occurred after Weiwei ment of protest. 30,000 supporters have to gain support. Numerous petitions peared. Weiwei is not alone.

Even though you might be uncertain where to begin when you enter, one thing will be ...sleep, that mysterious kingdom we visit each blindingly evident: is. Exhibit. Is. About. Graphite.” night”

●●●  e lumps of black lead wrapped It is this medium, graphite, that Okay. But so what? What has the ●●● “I walk in my sleep through earth in sheepskin, hoarded by artists in is given due appreciation by the interplay between graphite and other and heaven. I have set the sky in two the sixteenth century, have Fitzwilliam in its new survey exhibit media been? Why should we be parts.”  is translation from ‘ e Egyp- Grey Matters: long since been distended, Grey Matters. Having thus far almost interested in one of William Blake’s tian Book of the Dead’ reminds us of the Graphite stretched and sharpened entirely avoided showing the secret, less-interesting sketches? As ever, the power of sleep, that mysterious king- out of all recognition. Yet shy sketches from which its luscious potential of the Fitzwilliam’s exhibit dom we visit each night.  e exhibit, Fitzwilliam Museum although the pencil does not collection of paintings was born, the (with fantastic pieces by L.S. Lowry, ‘Triumph, Protection & Dreams’ con- until 11 March resemble the lumbago stump Fitzwilliam has now outdone itself in Alessandro Maganza and George fi rmed just how interesting sleep, and ★★★★★ in appearance, it is made of leeching the Shiba Gallery of colour. Romney) is unbalanced by a blandness its accessories, can be. Showcasing the the same stuff — and as such Even though you might be uncertain of organisation and supplement that is strange, bold beauty of Triumph, Protection & performs the same tripartite where to begin when you enter, one damaging to a curious viewer without headrests and the craft- Dreams: East African function now as then: muse, whore… thing will be blindingly evident:  is. an art history degree behind them. manship behind them, it Headrests in Context beloved. Exhibit. Is. About. Graphite.  at being said, the exhibit does do proved their cultural sig- a good job in covering lots of ground. nifi cance, exploring links Fitzwilliam Museum  e regional and temporal variations between ancient Egyptian Ended 28 Jan in the use of graphite is convincingly and African culture. Orig- represented, and there are a couple of ★★★★★ inally used to support contemporary pieces by Christopher their user and to ward off Cook and Christopher le Brun – danger in the night, they were buried Hidden Treasures although fi nding them where they with their owners to ensure the head Last year Wu Wei-Shan, one of China’s have been hidden away (being as they remained attached in the afterlife. most pretigious contemporary artists, are, strange and modern) requires a  e exhibit traced the iconic ‘pillow gave his life-size bronze sculpture of military set of orientation skills.  ere of dreams’ through Africa, exploring its the Chinese sage Confucius to Clare is even a screen showing James Eden evolution; at times needed to protect and Olly Rooks’ performance video the body and soul, at others it seems College. The college is has also been Burst, in which they pop a graphite- to have been used just to cushion your loaned a sculpture by German artist fi lled balloon and demonstrate the ‘do’. Other uses included seats, cutting Michael Hischer. power of graphite when left to its own boards or even shields.

IMAGE REPRODUCED BY KIND PERMISSION OF TRINITY HALL COLLEGE. devices.  e vast divergence between 5000 years of use have caused fasci- Do you know what masterpieces your the video and the meticulous pencil- nating variations in appearance. Some college has tucked away? manship of the seventeenth century bear intriguing hieroglyphics, others miniatures by David Loggan and consist of chunky structures carved Watch VarsiTV’s series ‘Hidden Treasures’ to Thomas Forster in themselves say from singular hunks of wood. This fi nd out more. a lot about graphite. And perhaps small but exquisite exhibition demon- the humbleness of the exhibit is strates the artistic and thematic depth appropriate for a medium that even of the Fitzwilliam’s collections. Van Gogh could aff ord. Aliya Ram Holly Gupta 18 THEATRE FEBRUARY 3 2012 — WEEK 3

Playground HELEN CAHILL Too close to home? Mamet’s moment in the Corpus Playroom his week I suff ered Salome Wagaine visits a rehearsal of infuriating accusations that I wasn’t ‘saying’ Oleanna to talk to the director, cast anything in my column. TI was immediately spurred into and producer to fi nd out why they think action. After rampaging around the Sherlock library and consulting various philosophical texts (if not all they’ll be causing a stir of them), I have fi gured out how to respond. earing the words ‘don’t particularly fast sections proved to be  e tragedy is, I obviously have to leave after the fi rst half’ quite diffi cult. commit the very crime I’m accused from the production team Having seen Sexual Perversity last of in order to defend myself. If the and cast of a play would year and being unconvinced of its rel- Haters are correct in thinking I more often than not be a evancy on the Cambridge stage in 2011, fail to write something revelatory sign of trouble. However, rather than all four do convince me of Oleanna’s about  eatre each week, I’ll have Ha plea of desperation, the team behind urgency to this particular audience. to disappoint them once again. Oleanna, this term’s Corpus Week 3 In fact, this particular play has been Maintaining my integrity is far Mainshow are uttering a defence of a labelled the most misogynistic of the more important. play clearly close to their hearts. last century, which Hall attributes to Maybe it’s because I’m being Perhaps unusually for a show, direc- this production being the fi rst time it compared to the gray rectangle tor Emma Hall was the last amongst has been directed by a woman since its directly opposite my own. I her cast (consisting of Charlie Parham premier in 1992. understand, you look to Fred’s and Charlotte Hamblin) and producer Moreover, for Hamblin there is a column and it may seem natural topical element regarding the current to think that he writes in more ‘Hall hopes to direct state of higher education. Studying 1 2 depth. Critique may literally have Education with Drama and English, the more content, but since when again sometime, academic line Parham’s character John were column inches indicative of insisting that ‘all theatre takes on education is one to which she journalistic value? is accustomed. I would encourage my loving is worth experimenting Hamblin and Hall are familiar with readers - who doubtless worry that the relationship between gender and their judgement is under question - with’ power in a learning context as both are to think outside the box. yet to have a female supervisor. One I’m the  eatre Editor, and that Will Cartwright-Harwood to have read of the initial staging ideas was for the means something.  is realisation the play, but David Mamet’s work, con- events of the play to take place in a gave me hope when I consulted the cerning the potentially inappropriate supervision room, lending itself to an Sherlock - I’ve been appointed by relationship between a university pro- intimate Corpus setting. the Editors. Any indictment of my fessor and his female student, clearly Hall hopes to direct again, insisting merit undermines their credibility. captured her. that ‘all theatre is worth experimenting We have email addresses and ‘Mamet is not done enough in Cam- with’ but would not necessarily work headshots. Fail to appreciate the bridge’ Hall believes, excepting last again with actors whom she knows; all signifi cance of those epistolarian Easter’s production of Sexual Perversity three were keen to work together on honours at your peril. Claims that in Chicago at the ADC.  e attraction Oleanna, believing that having a pre- Playground is at all superfi cial or to putting on his play comes from an established relationship between them lacking in insight must be false by interest in the rhythm and pacing of his would provide a good basis for fi nd- virtue of the ludicrous conclusion writing, as well as the ability to work on ing performances that brought out the that it suggests.  ere’s no room accents, which does not happen when characters fully. for such absurdity in Varsity. Our working, as Cambridge theatre does  e team suggest that their produc- editorial hierachy is a meritocracy, so often, with Pinter, Shakespeare and tion will encourage the allegiances of you needn’t look futher Stoppard. the audience to shift during the course than my positions Interestingly, Pinter directed the of the three acts.  is will be a probing, in the team list fi rst British production of Oleanna. potentially uncomfortable experience, to feel assured of Hall observes there are some clear dif- one surely not be missed. the quality of my ferences between their writing styles. ● Oleanna will be showing from Tues 3 contributions. However, ‘Mamet is much faster in 7th-Sat 11th February at the Corpus 1. Head-scratcher: Charlie Parham talks about playing John 2. Charlotte Hamblin has thought long and hard about how to approach her character 3. The team together with tempo’. As a result, rehearsals of some Playroom director Emma Hall 4. The producer, Will Cartwright-Harwood

TheTelling team behind Tales: The Canterbury how Tales to allay bring Ani Brooker’s Chaucer to Cambridge e directors explained how they want to create fears about messing with Chaucer a piece true to Chaucer, Poulton, themselves and fter making the rare trek laughter is exactly the space in which describe how “it is the lack of complete an audience of all ages” across Parker’s Piece (almost literature comes alive. When I sit to chat continuity which makes it interesting”. LEO CAIRNS out of ‘the bubble’, perhaps with the directors on their lunch break  ey create a kind of layering of stories not quite), I fi nd myself in a the room is busy with noise, when I’m and ideas that, as is the point of the tale- Alarge, bright, very modern rehearsal watching two scenes from the play the telling, compete with one another. room. It might seem at odds with space seems as though it has expanded Along with James Evans (Pardoner) a long, complex poem that has often to accommodate their piece; we all and Kassi Chalk (Prioress) they make it been relegated to what many miscon- become acutely aware of every sound immediately clear that “story telling is ceive as ‘the dark ages’. and movement as the group lends so the driving force of the play”.  e poem It is important, I think, to consider aged a work a fresh, physical form. is taken out of its comfort zone, rewrit- Middle English writing on its own Directors Lizzie Schenk and Katie ten into modern English and staged, merit, as diverse and varied and unpin- White have been working from Mike while the cast and directors are taken downable as writing from any period. Poulton’s RSC adaptation of the Tales, out of theirs as they reconcile bawdy  e 14th century is not a vacant space an established rendering of the text into humour with violent, skewed morality. simply waiting for a Renaissance or modern English verse. Yet they remain  is works much to the play’s advan- desperately clawing at the remnants of selective and don’t shy away from new tage as the ensemble cast craft plays antiquity. And so, in a typically English styles and textures. within the play, in a show that promises student way, I worry a little, just for a While talking to some members of live harp music, opera, puppetry and second or two, when modern adapta- the 14 strong cast I fi nd them open physical theatre. tions fi ddle with language and move about how intimidating reshaping an  e directors explained how they too far from the source of a work.I RSC production can be.  ey are also, want to create a piece true to Chau- wonder apprehensively if there is a however, excited by the prospect of cer, Poulton, themselves and an space right for Chaucer in this large, making space in the play for their own, audience of all ages. An ambitious aim, bright, modern room. necessarily confl icting, interpretations yet it looks like they have every chance  en I come to my senses. I realise of the tales. of succeeding. Cambridge students tackle Chaucer ● that all art is up for grabs, and that this As they discuss doubling and mul- e Canterbury Tales will be showing The Varsity Star Guide ★★★★★ Pussying out ★★★★★ The claws are out rehearsal space, with all its bustling tiple role playing, Maria Pawlikowska from Tues 7th-Sat 11th February at the ★★★★★ ★★★★★ ★★★★★ pre-opening-night nervousness and (Friar) and Pete Skidmore (Physician) ADC Scratching the surface Easy, tiger Purrfect week 3 — february 3 2012 THeaTre 19

Mapping the Greek tragedy onto the Critique Too close to home? Mamet’s moment in the Corpus PlayroomHelen CAHill cast’s lives is clever and original, but Fred Maynard unsatisfyingly incomplete.” espite what you may think about the kind of ●●● This is a Thyestes story not confusingly inconsistent, with Tom person who volunteers merely acted in a theatre but *set* in a Powell’s Thyestes giving a seemingly toD thrust their opinion about things theatre. In an ingenious twist, it is not straight speech explaining the state of on a weekly basis in a student paper, Seneca’s characters who plot revenge his relations with his brother while his most of the time I actually have and stage gruesome murders, but children, Harry Sheehan and Katherine no idea what I think. I suffer from Cambridge’s student actors. Soper, comically mime their innocence a chronic lack of certainty about The ADC’s backstage is brought with slow-blinking, upturned faces my own aesthetic judgements, and forward a few meters so that chairs, behind his back. always feel that everyone else picked costume rail and the stage manager’s Mapping the Greek tragedy onto the up a memo at some point in their desk frame the performance area, a cast’s lives is clever and original, but lives that told them definitively what stage marked out in white unsatisfyingly incomplete. The direc- ‘good acting’ and ‘good writing’ Thyestes tape. We are privy to the tor and stage manager’s motivation for were. backstage conversations murder is somewhat hazy: rather than It probably comes from having adC Lateshow and gossip of the cast, and being the next affront in a gory chain grown up being told by two older ★★★★★ it emerges that the direc- of familial bloodshed down the house brothers what was ‘good’ and what tor and stage manager of Atreus, the murders of Sheehan and was ‘bad’: Oasis, my seven-year old have had enough of Tom Soper seem a slightly unrelated reaction self in 1998 was told, were ‘good’, [Powell], playing Thyestes. to Tom’s having has slept with the stage and Steps were ‘bad’ I just accepted In a fast-paced opening scene Jamie manager’s girlfriend. The infidelity is this, and never bothered to ask why Hansen (director) and Stephen Ber- reminiscent of the mythical adultery of until much later. It was only recently mingham (stage manager/Atreus) toss Thyestes with Atreus’ wife Aerope, but I realised that almost all the chord aside the psychological, moral and legal it is not a readily available connection. progressions in Oasis songs are in arguments against murder and develop Tom’s gruesome fate of unknowingly fact shockingly unoriginal. their plot to destroy Tom. Though the eating his fellow cast members’ flesh is Without any guidance on these stage manager is initially unimpressed similarly not quite Thyestes’ horror of matters, I became a sucker for with the director’s revenge plan, he having eaten his own murdered chil- conventional wisdom. I went along quickly becomes a willing murderer, dren, and is an absurd ending rather to the rehearsal in King’s Chapel on and mysteriously knows all of Atreus’s than a tragic culmination. Though it is Saturday of Wagner’s Parsifal. Not lines so that he is able to take over the hard to follow at times, Phil Howe and being a musical type, I desperately role of Tom’s brother. Familiarity with Rachel Cunliffe’s adaptation is inven- tried to ‘get’ Wagner: all those atonal the original play, or a classics student to tive and full of perverse humour, and is bits and complex harmonies and sit next to, is helpful as they obliquely a novel way of staging Seneca. incredibly long vocal lines must be hint that Tom shall suffer the torment Sophie Lewisohn SAlome WAgAine brilliant, surely, otherwise people of Thyestes at the hands of Atreus. wouldn’t go on about Wagner so The play flits between the open- much. So I told myself it was my ing night of Seneca’s Thyestes and the fault for not getting it. antics of the cast and crew backstage. When I review plays I have similar Perhaps to emphasize the demarcation moments of self-doubt. I can watch of on-stage and off-stage personas, a performance, think that the actor half the cast inexplicably became bad is doing something fantastic with actors when they cross the white line that nervous tick thing they’re doing onto the stage. The girls of the chorus, with their hand, and then at the Ailis Creavin, Juliet Cameron-Wilson interval overhear someone else call and Georgia Ingles, play overly-theat- the very same tick the result of the rical fledgling actresses, tossing their actor’s terrible indiscipline, causing hair and flouncing off stage after their me to spend the rest of the show speeches. The over-acting might be hating that goddamn hand for partly a nod to the extremity and excess of being undisciplined, but mainly for Seneca’s text, but it makes an obscure having fooled me into thinking it play even harder to follow as the scene was meant to be there. Most of these 4 setting and lyrical evocation normally judgements are at the mercy of your Dancing with death: murder and may- 1. Head-scratcher: Charlie Parham talks about playing John 2. Charlotte Hamblin has thought long and hard about how to approach her character 3. The team together with offered by the chorus are lost in a mood when you go in, as to how far hem at the ADC director emma Hall 4. The producer, Will Cartwright-Harwood rush of dramatic declaiming. It is also you’re willing to indulge actors and directors their choices, or indulge the idea that they were conscious choices in the first place. Why be a director? What I’m saying is that most Seeing things that the comedians didn’t critics don’t actually know much, quite get right was an insight into how I really enjoy the but to save face they have to pretend demanding stand-up is ” process of translating to in no uncertain terms to produce the vision of the play something that is readable and not utterly vacillating. That’s fine. But I ●●● As I got to see a stand-up gig this was imitating other people’s observations you have in your head have no illusions – I’m basically as week, and was actually able to see the rather than making his own. His set was into something that is qualified to write this stuff as the notes as I was taking them down, I’ve meant to be naturalistic as far as I could next guy. It would really help me if come away with more than a haphazardly see, so it would probably improve a lot if actually performed on people would disagree with me and scrawled mess that’s written over the top we had been able to get more of a sense of stage. Also as director, told me why I’m wrong, specifically. of itself for once. Marc’s character. it’s great to be able to Luckily, they can! The Varsity These jottings quote a lot of moronic The set of the night, though, came from website has a Facebook comments moments but also flashes of brilliance (Ben Pierre Novellie, who has to be one of the bring together all the feature, so we can all debate to our Pope’s description of someone looking like few to have begin a set by quoting from an separate aspects of a hearts’ content what makes good “a novelty clock made out of overcooked Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic set text. production, allowing acting. bacon” was nicely done). A lot Especially good was his questioning of But the comments section Wolfson Howler of jokes were so bad I felt like the veracity of adverts for the military (“I you to work with lots remains oddly empty. Why? The biting my knees with horror. thought life would be a series of montages of different people to articles get read enough. Could Wolfson The compere, Ed Gamble, of me turning away from what I was doing solve a wide range of it possibly be because the Varsity is a talented and quick impro- to tell people about it!”). website forces you to identify ★★★★★ viser. He was sometimes a Carl Donnelly was a somewhat under- challenges. yourself? The Tab website, on the touch too bullying in his inter- whelming headline act. He lampooned other hand, has a lively anonymous actions with the audience and I couldn’t cut-up fruit, bad sandwich choices and conversation going with plenty of write about this set whithout mentioning discussed the awkwardness of ordering juicy ad hominems (apparently my Joey, the primary victim in the front row, Dominoes late at night. positive Mother Courage review was whose skewed stomach story that turned Seeing things that the comedians didn’t a case of my trying to make friends) out to be an internet self-diagnosis pro- quite get right was an insight into how and if you’re very lucky, some actual vided ample material for Gamble. Marc demanding stand-up is, and how much substantive discussion. We could get Shalet opened with some fairly weak work and practice needs to go into it much more if we owned up to who jokes about Avatar and some ‘you know for a set to work. Despite some patchy we were. Get to it, readers – debate Cambridge students tackle Chaucer you go to Cambridge when...’ examples, moments, I enjoyed my trip to the college under your own names! And while which sounded rather like posts on nov- that the compere described as looking like Tom Adams you’re there, could someone tell me elty Facebook pages. The main problem a 1970s mental hospital. what was wrong with Steps? was how artificially it came across, as if he Lucinda Higgie Director 20 FASHION FEBRUARY 3 2012 — WEEK 3

CORSET Vivienne Westwood CHOKER Cam Girls Vintage Is there more to the humble webcam than vanity blogging? Claire Healy discusses the phenomenon of (Web)Cam Girls

t seems to me that Leslie Bloomfi eld picture of the computer-generated gaze: has been doing the whole ‘Tumblr’ “There is a whole generation being thing since way before Tumblr was archived through their self portraiture a thing. How so?  e pared down online - why not utilise it in a context Idesign of her site is something to do other than casual social networking?” with it: random inspiration images Of course, it’s hard not to think that abound, and the overuse of emoticons Manifesto is too strong a word for a plus *:.*stars and stuff .*.:* means jelly- phenomenon that makes it okay to take bones.net/blog at once resembles a site photos of your bum just to show off the circa Windows ’98 and a site incredibly cool pocket patch on your new super relevant to now. 90s jeans. Doesn’t it all come down to In an unusual move, Leslie - a design pure narcissism? For Leslie, this isn’t student at UCLA - has always shunned necessarily a bad thing. “Webcam blog- blogging platforms in favour of her own domain. ‘This bare bones For her, it’s a more direct, personal and

permanent space for her self-appointed blogging all comes down TSHIRT Vintage SKIRT h&m SOCKS Topshop SHOES Converse HAT Stylist’s Own ‘POV: “my focus is more on the content than on the surrounding interaction.” to having fun’ After all, keeping things ’personal’ in this way might seem at odds with the ging is narcissistic because you have stereotype of the fashion blogger v 2.0, the option to take basically an infi nite who takes outfi t posting to the next amount of photos in sequence. But level of ‘now.’ Whilst lolcats, Nietzsche there’s also truthfulness in the minimal quotes and glitter gifs abound, webcam ability to manipulate the photos and the outfi t posts present the internet trend relatable, intimate context.” that refuses to go away. And relatable these girls certainly are. Without expensive SLRs, Photoshop airbrushing and designer endorsements, this bare bones blogging all comes down to having fun. Just take a look at the ‘zine Cam Girls, with a tagline that says it all: ‘girls from the internet on their web- cams wearing nice stuff .’  is is collaboration at its most level- ling, and such projects are supporting Don’t be fooled by the light and cultural vitality on a larger scale. In an fl uff y appearance of these Cam Girls, age undergoing “book anxiety” brought however, because some of them mean on by literary digitalisation, the humble business - including Ms. Jellybones, ‘zine assigns a frame for looking at whose Webcam Blogging Manifesto computers, and even, as Leslie points makes for less than light bedtime read- out, “the way we use computers as art ing: one-liners include, “ e internet is pieces”. neither an agent for ted mooney’s pro- Even after reading this, I suspect not phetic information sickness nor does it all of you will be convinced by the Cam numb traditional intellectual or artis- Girl way of thinking. But let’s face it, tic pursuits in favor of 140 characters we’ve all been there - it’s easy to let your worth of uselessness.” mouse slip to webcam in a moment’s Gosh. When Leslie explains the man- boredom. ifesto herself, however, the intellectual So let’s stop criticising: the webcam mist clears. For her, webcam blogging blogging manifesto has spoken, and if is all about what users want from style the alternative is blogger ‘brands’ and blogs as opposed to the industry itself. slick commercial design, then I’m pretty PHOTOGRAPHS STYLING MODEL DESIGN Enter the humble webcam, and its thor- convinced. Marsida Rexhepaj Naomi Pallas & Claire Healy Ellie Tomassi Naomi Pallas oughly unique point of view. More than ● Check out Leslie’s Webcam Blogging just fashion fodder, Leslie sees the bigger manifesto at jellybones.net/blog

From Vintage Mugshot prints to questionable swimsuits, it’s fun to be a Rebel Rebel Hot stuff !

Vintage Mugshot Print, £6.53, Underground for Ashish etsy.com/shop/larkendesign Studded Creepers, On Sale at £87.50, Asos Cambridge University Hip Flask, £26.59, Amazon ‘3-D’ Inital Jeremy Scott for Earrings, £5, Adidas Originals, Tripp NYC Split Leopard Jeans, ASOS £75.51, £70, Urban Outfi tters Luisaviaroma.com WEEK 3 — FEBRUARY 3 2012 FASHION 21

SWIMSUIT Urban Outfi tters DRESS Vintage SHOES Ashish

TasteCLAIRE HEALY & NAOMI PALLAS

t’s hard to pull off the look of a ‘rebel’ in Cambridge. An air of general dissent is possible, sure – unwashed hair, slightly off -colour Islogan tees and protest placards are the makings of a Cambridge malcontent. But at the end of the day, we’re at Cambridge. We’re pretty, you know, good, and you probably shouldn’t try too hard HEADBAND Topshop to pretend that you’re bad.Didn’t make that 9am lecture? Rebel without a cause! Overdue library fi nes? Ultimate bad boy! But no, seriously - if your new supervisor asks you, ‘Who are you?’, replying in the style of Ryan circa  e OC Pilot Episode is probably a bad idea: ‘Whoever you want me to be’ (cringe). But fear not – with a few hot picks here and a few fi lm muses there, this week’s fashion pages will treble your rebel in no time. After all, especially in Cambridge, being a rebel has got to be a state of mind – and, probably, of clothes.  us, rather than bombard you with all the classic makings of a Vogue friendly fashion ‘rebel’ (read: ‘studded leather jackets’, ‘Doctor Martens’ and ‘Christina Aguilera chaps’) we thought we’d inject some fun into proceedings. Modelling this week is girl-about- the-house Ellie, who gets a little distracted from her daily chores on an average Saturday morning. Her Mom may have told her to water the plants and hoover the house, but she’d rather reach for the dressing up box: complete with sky-high heels, a naked lady dress and, somewhat inexplicably, a tequila gun. With a little help from her friends Mickey, My Little Pony and all the gang, we reckon she’ll get the job done in no time. But fi rst, there’s time for a

bath... DRESS Topshop EARRINGS Topshop FUR COLLAR Stylist’s Own Stylist’s COLLAR FUR Topshop EARRINGS Topshop DRESS

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PHOTOGRAPHS Marsida Rexhepaj STYLING Naomi Pallas & Claire Healy MODEL Ellie Tomassi DESIGN Naomi Pallas 5. selleckwaterfallsandwich.tumblr.com

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Mickey and Mallory know the difference between right and Natural wrong (fashion choices) - they just don’t this week give a damn.Born Killer Release your

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tiMKickabout kennett Lacrosse Blues ease Mario Balotelli: the ultimate celebrity?

hen I braved Lola Lo held on until getting home, Super past Manchester LAurA KIrK last week, I enjoyed Mario was immediately satisfied. watching my friend Such rashness is at odds with much rampaging around of modern football and modern theW light-up dancefloor. In a state celebrity. Everyone in the public eye of inebriation, he seemingly has agents and managers and PR indulged his every impulse. Mostly firms organising their every move. this involved vigorously licking This, I suspect, is why scandals like unfortunate victims. He also pulled Ryan Giggs’s affair with his brother’s some crazy moves. wife are such big news (besides all While at the time I was humiliated that superinjunction stuff): clearly, by his actions, thinking back on the this is unmediated information. It traumatic events of that Thursday gives the public a glimpse at the real night has provided food for thought. characters of the stars. The rash impulses of a drunken young Footballers are in a curious male may be somewhat unsavoury, position, adored by millions, but but my friend’s ability to act on said really known by none. This is why desires was, in its way, admirable. Balotelli is such a phenomenon. He Certainly I could look to be more oozes character. And this character impulsive on occasion. has given him fame far beyond his Which brings me to Mario sporting achievements. Balotelli, currently my favourite His other great advantage is that his footballer. Not because of his actions are not universally despicable. magnificent on-the-pitch ability What we discover about Giggs, or – although he is pretty good – but Wayne Rooney, or Ashley Cole, is because of his consistently hilarious merely a predilection for sordid extra- off-the-pitch lad-banter. The marital affairs. These men appear most recent of his antics is a good mean. Balotelli seems exuberant and illustration: apparently Balotelli generous hearted. He once reportedly entered a local school, needing to the gave his casino winnings to a nearby use the toilet. After relieving himself, tramp. Another time, he resolved a Mr Balotelli then introduced himself child’s bullying problem. to pupils before heading to the staff These acts of charity are too bizarre room to have a quick chat with the to be PR stunts. They are acts of a Cambridge make a play towards the Manchester goal faculty. kind of genius based on pure impulse. What is beautiful about this story is In the staid, tedious, predictable by Isy Foster finishing prowess that has seen them go Cambridge enjoying almost 100% of Balotelli’s rashness. He seems to just world of modern celebrity, we need LACROSSE CAPTAIN from strength to strength this season. the possession and some excellent have an impulse and instantly follow more tabloid stars like Goals from Daniella Allard and Laura finishing from Ellie Russel and Welsh it through, to an extent most of us Balotelli. More genuine The Lacrosse Blues continued their Plant gave Cambridge the upper-hand international Ellie Walshe. With Man- could only dream of. ‘I need the toilet,’ eccentrics. More unbeaten season with an impressive from early on, accompanied by some chester withering from the barrage he thinks, ‘and that school might have players fans can feel performance against Manchester in of Cambridge attacking moves, Anna one.’ Where a lesser man might have genuine affection for. the quarter-final of the BUCS cham- ‘Anna Pugh was able Pugh was able to dance through their pionship. Buoyed by the return of entire defence to score a superb solo co-Captain Alana Livesey who had to dance through their goal, bringing the score to 17-2 at the interVieW been away on international duty with final whistle. the Senior Team, the Blues entire defence’ The Blues will be delighted with the dominated Manchester throughout the way they have started the second half game in freezing cold temperatures. slick finishing by Livesey. Manchester’s of the season, especially as they build The Blues started slowy, unable to attacking opportunities were few and towards Varsity at the end of February. Off the field capitalise on numerous chances and far between, but they were able to They face a tougher challenge in the This week Olivia Fitzgerald meets Chris Marriott, uncharacteristically throwing away exploit one such opportunity, bringing semi-final, coming up against a Bristol posession. After this scrappy start, the score to 8-1 at half-time. side fresh from victory over reigning Head Coach for the university hockey club. the Blues began to show some of the From then on it was one-way traffic, champions Durham. When did you start coaching hockey? hungry possibly! Thankfully they are I took a coaching qualification in 1996 all different, it would be a much less when a back injury forced me to stop interesting job otherwise. playing to any decent level. I couldn’t see myself not involved in the game What do you do in your spare time? Blues are what Blues eat and had always enjoyed analysing skills Football! Now that I am Head Coach to by Adam Fuller lean diet for a sportsman. Directly pre- amount of food”, though her growing and tactics so a move into coaching all of the the mens and womens teams, training is when it’s time to load up on propensity for coffee will resonate with seemed obvious. I don’t really have much spare time, but The Cambridge students are notorious carbs in the form of toast or a banana boaties Uni-wide. She indicates that I try to get to watch the Cardiff Blues for their academic discipline. From but even so “it can leave you feeling with “weekly weigh in sessions” you Favourite part of the job? play if my trips back to Wales coincide waking at 8.58am to dash to your lec- very drained if training is intense”. As can’t go wild, but there’s still room for Winning rates pretty highly! Seriously with a game. I hack my way around a ture in spite of a heavy night in Cindies, to the long-term effects, Chris admits treats, recommending a “peanut butter though, although it sounds cheesy, I do golf course from time to time, and I like to revising noon and night during exam that it varies, but says he’s developed and jam toastie after a long, cold train- get a great deal of pleasure in helping reading sporting biographies. term, Cambridge students show great an addiction to Special K as a result of ing session”. teams and individual players to develop commitment to doing work right. For the diet. It’s not all diet charts and respon- over the course of a season. Seeing With his teams playing a total of six most students, what they do outside the sible eating, however. Fresher hockey something that the guys and girls have Varsity matches before the end of library is less regimented. If you want ‘If chicken kievs are on player Will Cairns has slotted comfort- discussed and practiced going right in March, Varsity Sport wishes Coach to enjoy your post-essay haze watching ably into the Blues, and he is certain a game is really satisfying. Chris the best of luck! Desperate Housewives and devouring in hall, I always have at that his diet is a big part of his success. Maryland cookies, you can go right “If chicken kievs are on in hall, I always Worst part of the job? l Each week Varsity will be ahead. Sportsmen and women, how- least two’ have at least two”, he says, “and there’s It’s not much fun standing out on featuring ‘Off the field’, meeting ever, are often not at liberty to treat nothing like cheesy chips from the vans the pitch at Wilby for 6 hours in someone whose work to support their bodies in such a careless fashion. Blues rower Caroline Reid is under after a night out”. He is quick to salute the freezing cold! I actually live the teams of Cambridge is Varsity Sport met some Cambridge similar strict instructions, but her the curative nature of the Tomahawk, in Cardiff with my wife Jane and not always appropriately Blues whose commitment to sport dic- main focus is less on losing weight and the signature drink of the Hawks Club, during the hockey season I only acknowledged. If you have a tates what they eat. more on eating enough to support an and is rapturous on the subject of the get home to her for a day a week particular ‘Unheralded Hero’ Of all the sportsmen in Cambridge, intensive training regime. The goal is enormous Hawks burger, complete so spending so much time who you think deserves boxers are perhaps the most diet con- to eat “in the region of 3000 calories with bacon, egg and cheese. away is really tough. recognition, please scious as they try and make their a day”, with two breakfasts (pre- and A pedantic nutritionist might take email weight. When training, Blues light- post-training), a sizeable lunch (“baked some issue with his stance, suggesting How would you [email protected] heavyweight Chris Kelly eats seven sweet potato with beans and a poached that he could be affecting his on field describe the typical with your small meals a day, mostly high protein, egg, followed by fruit for pudding”), a potential. For the rest of us, however, Cambridge nomination. low carb affairs, “trying to get your snack before evening training then a it is a relief to learn that not all sports- University body to strip fat without compromis- larger carb based meal afterwards. men are Spartan and, as we reach for Hockey player? ing muscle.” With lots of white meat Caroline says that it’s less what she just one more iced bun, we could still Busy, skint, Give us a smile, and protein shakes, it seems like a very eats that has changed and more “the get a Blue after all. tired and Chris WEEK 3 — FEBRUARY 3 2012 SPORT 23

Varsity Crossword NO. 537 e Fab

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ACROSS DOWN 1 Make hungry sucker eat in the 1 Renounce in favour of second don Varsity Quiz 9 morning (6) (8) 1. What is Bob Dylan’s real name? 4 Long after principal’s inconvenience 2 In auction site, go after French 10 11 (8) mountain resort (7,3) 2. 10 3 What animal famously killed Bitterness in veteran courage (7) 24 7 in 88 (5) suff ragette Emily Davison? 11 Found short hair on a Teddy boy (7) 5 Poem where end of line has sound 12 Spokesmen starting wish list with of wooden shoe (7) 3. How long is the longest ever 12 deeds (12) 6 Another latched on to 24 event (9) hunger strike? 14 24 7 drunk chocolate blend (6-3-5) 7 Urban area at half capacity (4) 13 17 Imposing impossibly long sentence 8 Current boy (4) 4. Which ice-hockey team have (6,4,4) 9 Doctor wrote back: “Major problem rioted twice after losing in a cup 20 14 15 Ordered right out, mostly, as three with timber” (3,3) fi nal? quarters of noblemen (7,5) 13 Played in friendly game with CD 24 16 Spymaster in failed policy to do rims shuffl ed (10) 5. What is the only American city with games (7) 15 Club together at fi rst in approaching to have brought the US Army 25 17 18 19 Almost make a claim or come back notice (9) twice during the 20th century to briskly (7) 16 Sweeteners measured out with this suppress a major riot? 26 Trapped in basement, it led to being number: snake loves being inside (8) given the right (8) 18 Crosshairs, for example, let rice be 6. Which singer recently told fans 27 to steal his record rather than 20 21 24 7 in 48 (6) cooked (7) 19 University actor that’s poor yet pay the over-the-odds for the boxset? 22 23 everyone is captivated (6) 21 Good day to back out of Bard’s work 7. (5) Which literary prize is awarded 24 25 22 24 7 in 60 (4) every year for ‘making political 23 Complaint in street by outskirts of 7 writing into art’? (4) 8. Richard Ayoade’s big break 26 27 came in the successful Channel Set by Cookie 4 comedy,  e IT Crowd. What was the name of his character?

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22 Lacrosse: Women’s Blues dispatch Manchester

Success at the LIG unIverSIty A number of Cambridge athletes competed last weekend at the London Indoor Games. Noteworthy performances included Amin Ahmadnia running a season’s Gown smash Town MiMi YAGOUB best 7.21 in the 60m, while former men’s captain Mark Dyble ran a season’s best 22.54s in the 200m. The highlight, however, was Toby Haseler’s 13.29m throw in the shot, comfortably achieving the Blues standard. The Blues now look forward to facing Oxford at the indoor Varsity Field Events and Relays event in March. Blues continue winning ways unIverSIty The Blues recorded a 3-2 victory over Northampton on Wednesday, although the scoreline did not reflect Cambridge’s dominance. The Blues conceded early on but the response came when James May shot firmly into the Northampton goal. The second half saw another great strike, this time from Jamie Rutt, putting the Blues 2-1 up before Rick Totten finished a flowing Blues move. Late on in the game the Blues allowed Northampton a soft second goal, but the result was never really in doubt. Had it not Aron Schleider’s relentless pressure kept his opponent pinned to the ropes, earning a standing eight count in the final round and a split decision victory to give CUABC the lead been for an inspired performance from the Northampton keeper and below par finishing from the Blues, Gown 8 allowed him to control the pace of the hammering home his advantage with tiring, Guevel was able to keep up the the scoreline could have been town 1 fight, before both fighters opened up in a hard right hand down the pipe that pressure and grind out a deserved deci- considerably higher. an exciting final round. Bloodied and caught Richardson unaware time and sion victory. by Oli Goldstein bruised, Perry took a clear unanimous time again. In the final bout, heavyweight Chris John’s worry Cats Boxing Correspondent decision to put Cambridge 2-0 up. With Pender triumphing via unan- Meunce was able to finish the job, with “Hoping to turn the tables on the bad imous decision, former Oxford Blue a very impressive unanimous victory CoLLeGe College Hockey almost On a night of glorious action, Cam- guys,” Nick Edelman battered opponent Borna Guevel won a hard-fought over his Town opponent. saw an upset this week, as St Cats bridge University Amateur Boxing Andrew Butcher before a clean knock- encounter with Kris Loginvos of Wis- Forced to endure numerous defeats snatched hope away from a plucky Club recorded a resounding 8-1 victory out in the final round. Sensing the need beach ABC. Boxing behind a firm jab, in recent years, this was a night to St John’s side in a bitterly fought 1-0 in the annual ‘Town Vs Gown’ event. to attack, Butcher left himself wide Guevel was able to force his opponent remember for CUABC. Now coached game. John’s can only hope for Cats Held at the Guildhall, the 500 specta- open for a thunderous straight right backwards almost at will, taking the by former assistant Lee Mitchell, the to trip up later in term. After Jesus’ tors were treated to a night that show- from Edelman, the Hughes Hall lawyer centre of the ring and remaining on the team can be rightly proud of its efforts, relegation last term, the top division cased the finer elements of the sweet eventually stopping his opponent after front foot throughout. With both men eventually coming out 8-1 victors. needed a whipping boy. Emma have science: from some silky boxing skills to a series of hard shots. stepped up to fill the void, losing heavy knockouts, this night had it all. However, controversy would sur- 14-1 to Old Leysians after a 7-0 The first bout set the tone for the face in the next bout as Kris Ren was defeat last week. evening, as Greg Nance and Simon denied victory by some dubious judg- In Division 2 Jesus dismissed Senaussi fought in an all-Cambridge ing after his fight with Daniel Van. Fitzwilliam 10-0, making next opener. Senaussi, fighting out of the Despite a standing eight count in the Footballers reignite week’s Homerton-Jesus fixture blue corner, displayed some quick feet opening round, Ren was able to make a likely decider for promotion. and slippery lateral movement on the his agricultural opponent miss consis- Meanwhile in Division 3, Trinity back foot, as Nance struggled to pin the tently, frustrating him and landing with made a cracking debut performance smaller man down. Senaussi’s defen- clean shots on the back foot. However, Addenbrooke’s Cup of the term against St Cats IIs, final by Paul Hartley sive smarts would eventually earn him for all his good work, Ren was denied CUAFC CAptAin score 10-0. a deserved unanimous decision. victory as the fight was awarded to Van played for the cup, but the success of In Men’s Cuppers both Jesus and St by majority decision. On Wednesday 8th February at 7pm the fixture as a fundraising exercise has Cats pummelled their opposition to ‘From silky boxing skills CUABC refused to let this setback the football Blues take on a Cambridge been limited. Thanks to the hard work progress to the semi-finals. stand in their way, however, as Sam Bur- United XI in a charity match for the of St. Catharine’s fellow and CUAFC to heavy knockouts’ gess triumphed by third round techni- Addenbrooke’s Cup. The Grange Road President Dr John Little, Cambridge Cambridge crush cal knockout in a messy affair with Joel fixture will provide a stern test for the United and Cambridgeshire FA, the rAF Ladies Looking for his first competitive Saul. His opponent in constant motion, Blues who reignite the ‘Town vs. Gown’ ‘Town vs. gown’ format returns this unIverSIty After an emphatic 77-6 win, Aron Schleider of St Edmund’s Burgess remained patient throughout, football rivalry. year. victory against the Oxford second provided the crowd with a thrilling eventually getting through with a bar- An Addenbrooke’s Cup match of one The Blues have performed well team, the Blues went into this game encounter in the first ‘Town Vs Gown’ rage of punches that saw Saul’s corner sort or another has taken place annually this season, winning five of six league against the RAF ladies on a high and meeting. Having burst from the cor- throw in the towel. for many years now. Each year the aim games, but facing a host of professional with a strong side. ner after the opening bell, Schleider’s 4-1 up, Cambridge’s dominance con- is to raise money for the Cambridge players will give them a much big- Captain Catherine Nezich quickly relentless pressure kept his opponent tinued in the second half of the eve- Sports and Exercise Medicine Unit at ger challenge. However this can only went to work, driving to the basket pinned to the ropes, earning a stand- ning. After an action-packed brawl that Addenbrooke’s Hospital and this year’s stand them in good stead as they build for easy layups. ing eight count in the final round and saw King’s Richard Rowlands triumph fixture will raise money through a £3 towards at the end Katerina Glyniadaki made the most a split decision victory to give CUABC over Fitzwilliam’s Rob Liu in the sec- entry fee. Many years ago this ‘Town vs. of this term. The game should also pro- of her height advantage, making the lead. ond all-University bout of the evening, Gown’ match was an annual occurence, vide an opportunity for the Blues to some powerful moves in the post. Chris Perry would continue Seb Pender recorded a superb victory however this tradition began to sub- build support for the big match against Taking an easy lead early on, Schleider’s good work in the next bout, over tricky southpaw Phil Richardson. side a decade ago when the time com- Oxford, with this year’s football Varsity Cambridge never looked back, with regularly trading hard shots with Dan- Pender’s excellent balance and foot- mitments of the two clubs became too Match, the 128th, taking place at Cam- the final score 53-31. iel Aero of the town. Despite Aero work ensured that he was able to force much. bridge United’s Abbey Stadium on the impressing in spots, Perry’s stiff jab Richardson off balance consistently, In recent years, various teams have evening of March 13th.