ISSUE 5 SEASON 2015/16 ALBION LONDON SUPPOERTERs CLUB Baggie Shorts CONTENTS FROM THE EDITORS

From the editorial board, Dick creative players is not a matter Garlick tells it like it is.... of dispute. However it made galling reading to see our Travelling to West Ham I reputation as a footballing team 03 10 bumped into a particularly withering away. Match Report: Sunder- dour Albion fan who told me From the Editors land by Toby Grainger he always looked forward to Younger generations won’t the games. He added that he remember the Astle or Cunning- 04 12 would rather be in our place ham days let alone the Team of than where the Villa are. It’s the Century. They won’t recall Match Report: Aston Villa My Boy Tchoyi difficult to disagree with that but the awful eighties and nineties by Paul Monney is it that binary? and think that Boing Boing refers to our bouncing from the Albion fans have pride in know- to the Cham- 06 15 ing that the club’s heritage is pionship and back. Now our widely acknowledged. Opposi- reputation is that of a team that Quizball: Quiz question Celebrating Laurie Cun- tion supporters regularly men- parks the bus, plays long ball update ningham tion Jeff Astle and 1968 and the with a manager that will keep team of 1978-79 which, for just us up. Palace and particular- a few short weeks, was probably ly Leicester show that smaller 08 16 the best team in the world. clubs can punch well above their respective weights, excite, London Baggie, Nick Match Report: Arsenal by Grant, reflects upon a life Anoushka Probyn In December we played well and command respect by play- in football and drumming against Spurs. An unusually ing entertaining football. Albion good match report in a Sunday must reflect their heritage to broadsheet described Spurs’ regain the football community’s long ball goal exploiting a respect and more importantly defensive mixup as a “kind of our love for the club. goal often associated with West Brom” and Albion’s equaliser Oh! and good riddance to that as “a Spurs type of goal”. That awful away supporters section at Spurs have tradition of play- the Boleyn. ing good football with great

2 3 MATCH REPORT ASTON VILLA 0 – 1 WEST BROM

Paul Monney Reports: Rondon, who along with Fletch- There wasn’t a lot of optimism er and McLean put in his best amongst the London Baggies Albion performance to date, heading to Birmingham for the almost opened the scoring in most recent Villa derby. Perhaps the first minute with a powerful it was due to the last season’s header from a Chris Brunt cross. week from hell suffered at Villa Fletcher swerved a shot that possession and it felt as though Jonny Evans who was constantly Park but there was also a lot of was narrowly turned around the we could have held the lead directing his teammates and talk of the negative anti-football post. There were near misses all day if we had to. Villa were was never shy to let them know being served up in the new sea- from a number of set pieces unbelievably lightweight in mid- if they weren’t doing what was son - you can’t argue with the that had Villa constantly under field - our trio of Fletcher, Mor- expected of them. results (by the end of the day we the hammer and we had energy rison and Yacob won’t have an will not have conceded a goal and width that we hadn’t seen easier afternoon all season. We So in the glorious sunshine we in any of our three away games for a long time. Then in the 39th continued to look the most like- celebrated just our 2nd win at and kept a clean sheet in four of minute McLean tackled aggres- ly to score and several times we Villa in the last 36 years. Tony our first six league games) but sively to win the ball, crossed to broke with pace and purpose and his squad came over to cel- neither could you argue that it Rondon who (with his back to that, again, had been missing in ebrate with us and it was nice to was much fun to watch. goal) laid it off for Morrison to our previous games. see Saido so happy with his con- shoot. Guzan had it covered but tribution. He was well-supported How refreshing, then, to see our up popped Berahino to deli- Myhill didn’t have a difficult save throughout the game, celebrat- boys straight at Villa from the cately redirect it in. Thankfully to make all day although we ed his goal with some boinging opening whistle and dominating Undercover Agent Lescott had persist in giving away unneces- in front of the home fans and from the front foot for the entire dropped back toward the goal sary fouls around the penalty was mobbed by his teammates first half. TP would say after the line to play him onside - 1-0 box - the only chances they after the whistle, having sent his game that the players were des- Albion. ‘created’. They look like they’ve shirt into the singing away fans – perate to do it for the fans they wasted their transfer income almost all is forgiven. had let down the previous sea- Inevitably we retreated into our and our defence comfortably son - it certainly felt like it with shells a bit in the second half dealt with the misguided tac- A day to remember - more of our boys being first to every ball and invited pressure onto us. tic of lumping it into our box this, please! and simply looking better all Villa didn’t have the quality to in the air. Special mention to over the park. do anything with their increased

4 5 In our feedback on the quiz in the phrase of ‘Route One’ to a the third edition last season we big striker. The final was won overextended ourselves and left at around the time of our three our comfort zone when elab- (yes, three!) FA cup sixth round QUIZBALL: orating on the Quiz Ball ques- matches with . tion. So, basically we could not manage a quiz question about When we defended the Quiz a quiz. Luckily, London Baggie Ball cup the following year, Ray Keith Hallam came to the res- Wilson had replaced Doug quiz cue. Fraser in the quiz team; I know it was the season we defended The BBC quiz that ran from 1966 the FA cup that Ray replaced to 1972 gave us our second Graham Williams in the first most recent top tier trophy. It eleven. The club captain being was hosted by referee David out of the team resulted in a fly- question Vine and later, err, Stuart Hall. ing left wing performance from We appeared in the first series Graham Williams (only one sub when our celebrity fan was the in those days), so when Astle legend that was Percy Throw- was injured at home to Arsenal er. Keith tells us that the West Graham, ‘Willie’ was on as ‘the Bromwich team that won Quiz sub’ to play on the left wing, Asa update Ball, in the Spring of 1968, was: Hartford moved from left wing Manager, ; star to midfield, and Lyndon Hughes player (‘route four please’) John (a big midfielder) went up front Aidan Rose (our resident Quiz Maestro), Osborne; Doug Fraser; and to play centre forward. Still won Moto Cross World Champion, 1-0, a late Tony Brown rocket, with the indispensable assistance of Keith Geoff Smith. direct from a free kick. Hallam, gives us the definitive low down on Albion and Quiz Ball “John specialised in choosing Back to Quiz Ball - the following the four easy questions to goal, year there was a bit of a fiddle, which saw him get three correct, to stop John Osborne, the third and force the opposition in to a of the ‘route four’ questions was tackle question. A tackle ques- always harder than a normal tion was hard, I believe 50/50. rout four question. We lost to The only harder question was the eventual winners, Celtic, in ‘route one’, which was very hard, the semi-final. Celtic went on but allowed no tackle by the to hold the trophy the following defending team, and gave us year.”

6 7 on TV, never dreaming that one rooms after hours I developed BEATING TIME day I would end up living right the skills and confidence to play beside . I was gigs with mates. Have done plen- London Baggie, Nick Grant, reflects actually in hospital on that fa- ty of birthday, wedding, even upon a life in football and drumming mous night when we stuffed Man retirement dos. U 6-3 at home. Cursed to high My now 88 year-old mother We played in the red shirts worn heaven when I saw the result on In retirement now I have finally recalled recently that I played a by England in the previous year’s the single small ward black ‘n had time to devote to getting an small snare drum in my prima- World Cup final – so they told white telly, so wishing I’d been album out with my band Public ry school Xmas play. That must us, but I found that very hard to on the terraces. Sector. We are hoping it will be have been around 1959 aged 8! believe! done by Xmas! That’s Xmas 2015 By 1969 I had also wrecked the !!! As a teenager I beat out rhythms I had also been going to Albion ligaments in my left knee, iron- on an old suitcase in my Kings matches since 1957. Usually with ically in a match v West Brom I have put up for ages with Heath bedroom with large mum’s brothers. My grandma Grammar, and had to stop play- the bitchy clichéd jokes about wooden knitting needles listen- was the head cook at Halfords ing footie forever! drummers. They usually imply ing to bands like Cream, Spencer Lane primary school. Her brother stupid, thick, anti-social, unmusi- Davis, The Move and my idol Ray Harry had a greengrocers and Leaving sixth-form in 1970 I went cal dorks. For example, what do Charles. But with three younger dress-shop on Brasshouse Lane. to Brum then Hull Art colleges. you call a drummer who’s split sisters in the house there was no He was a Baggie season-ticket My flat-mate there, John Brad- up with his girlfriend? Homeless way my parents would tolerate holder as well. bury, was a drummer who let me – duh!!!! me having a proper kit – cost, practice on his kit. We came back noise and space prohibited that! My dad worked all his life at M&B to Brum in 1975 to do an art This is one of the classier ones. in clerical jobs, for many years teacher training course and, after An amateur drummer died and But my first love was always above pub. He that, I moved to London to find went to heaven. He was waiting playing football. I was a decent often had lunch with players like school work, and he joined an up outside the pearly gates when schoolboy central defender, and and coming Coventry band – The he heard the most incredible fast playing for Birmingham Gram- when they came over after train- Specials. and furious drumming coming mar Schools team and picked ing. But, ahem, he’d been raised from within. Immediately he rec- to attend FA summer camp at a Villa fan! To be fair, he took me Over my years as a teacher, par- ognized the playing and rushed Lilleshall in 1967, aged 15. I to both Villa Park and The Haw- ent and left-wing political activist to ask St. Peter if that was Buddy made it into a course final XI but thorns on alternate Saturdays so I kept an interest in drumming Rich playing drums inside the we were royally stuffed 7-1 by I watched a lot of home games in but largely only as a gates. St. Peter responded: “No, Shrewsbury Town’s reserves. I’d the 1959-63 seasons. that’s God. He just thinks he’s been trying to impress former distant consumer of albums and Buddy Rich.” Baggies legend Arthur Rowley On Cup Final day 1968, aged 16, at live gigs. on the touchline - to no avail. I was hobbling around on crutch- Listen to Nick online: es following a cartilage operation Gradually via lessons and prac- https://soundcloud.com/nick- and watched our glorious victory tice in various school music grant-1

8 9 luxury and my defences crum- team mates, who seem laugh- ble. I call Alan – the trips on, ingly incapable of performing we’ll meet up in Brum before any of the functions usually the game. associated with footballers. The atmosphere verges on the fune- And, of course, the experience real, because there is nothing isn’t lousy. We meet up in the to encourage a flicker of enthu- Black Eagle, in Soho, and enjoy siasm, let alone a full-throated what must be the most civilised roar. The players, basking in our of pre-match repasts. This is silent contempt, respond, with a gorgeous little pub, serving heads down, by mis-placing excellent real ale and food. passes, falling over and wander- Albion and away fans invariably ing off-side, prompting renewed MATCH REPORT mingle amiably here, but the apathy from the crowd, as the WEST BROM 1 – 0 SUNDERLAND atmosphere today is especially vicious downward spiral takes warm, as it usually is when Sun- effect. derland are in town. Nobody expects much of this game. The A great day and a very wel- Mackems, yet again, are in a come three points from our first Toby Grainger reports: days before the game – he’s going, am I? I’m out on my bike tail-spin and, although Albion home win. My only quibble is recently beat Villa, we’ve since with the middle bit, which was One of my oldest mates, Alan, when he calls. It would be good lost three games and shipped misleadingly described as a is a Sunderland season tick- to see him, but could I bear eight goals. The consensus is football match. My immediate et-holder. He lives in Clapton to watch Pulis lock horns with that neither side is likely to score reaction was that I wouldn’t go (east London), and, but for a Allardyce? On balance, no, that and nothing exciting is likely to again until Dr Pulis had been short boycott during the reign was too high a price to bear. I transpire. lured away by another club so of Il Duce Di Canio, he barely wish him well, say that I hope mesmerised by the possibility misses a match. My absolute the experience is less awful than And that’s, more or less, what of destruction-by-relegation oldest mate, Steve, is an Albion it promises to be, and cycle happens - nothing. Saido that it felt compelled to acquire season ticket-holder and he is as home. scores, because Pantilimon his particular skill set. I couldn’t passionate/insane as Alan. Then Steve rings. He has two generously drops the ball at his imagine that it would get any feet; McClean gets jeered a lot better, but, startlingly, it has and I, on the other hand, am feeling season tickets and, for the Sun- (by a contingent in the Sunder- we’ve since deservedly beaten faintly guilty about my lack of derland game, one of them has land end, instantly disowned by Arsenal and held Spurs and, in commitment. I haven’t been my name on it. I remonstrate Alan), because he doesn’t have between, bounced back from to a game all season (too busy that the encounter has all the a poppy tattoo on his forehead; a dire first half in our last ever having fun watching Clapton allure of bathing in fermenting and Sessegnon, newly restored visit to Upton Park. If I weren’t FC) and I haven’t seen Alan or asses’ milk, but Steve counters to the side, runs around a lot, in such an old curmudgeon, I’d be Steve for ages. Alan rings three with an offer of chauffeur-driven stark contrast to his comatose delighted.

10 11 MY BOY TCHOYI BY GLENN HESS

It’s summer 2010 and Roberto He didn’t really look like a has led us to promotion and footballer----he was clumsy, he he’s gone shopping for our, by didn’t pass much and he took then, regular promotion to the no notice of the bench scream- Prem. Di Matteo signs a player ing at him or of his team mates called Somen Tchoyi from an and yet he was brilliant, very Austrian outfit called Red Bull fast, powerful, two footed and Salzburg. very, very skilful. He just did everything his way and no one Baggie fans. And so came at last - and I can confirm from what I Immediate Impact-----we are could forecast what that meant. my boy’s first start away to Ever- heard that Tim Howard definite- away to Manchester United and He made you stand up out of ton in November at Goodison ly has tourette syndrome!!!! this large ungainly substitute your seat because almost always Park. In an outstanding display, comes on----Van Der Saar makes something extraordinary was Albion ripped Everton apart, At this point we then went into a terrible mistake, drops the ball going to happen, OR not!!!! with Somen scoring our 4th. meltdown and our form dipped and there is my boy Tchoi who goal, curling the ball into the far dramatically. Defeat after defeat with lightening reflexes taps the Our fans started to take to him corner of the Everton goal past led to RDM being replaced by a ball in. We drew at Old Trafford, and the Joy Division song “ a helpless Tim Howard. We were much more pragmatic leader in I was there - and my love affair Tchoi Tchoi will tear you apart” sitting just behind the Everton . It was soon obvi- started. was now sung with gusto by goal – and so had the pleasure ous that our Roy would not think yours truly and thousands of of seeing this beautiful strike much of the enigma that was hit the back of the Everton net Somen, who made only the odd

12 13 CELEBRATING LAURIE CUNNINGHAM BY AIDAN ROSE

sub appearance. He dropped about Tchoi is going to tear you Anyone unlucky enough never tails can be found at unbound. down the pecking order behind apart and the Baggies faithful to have seen Laurie Cunning- co.uk PO, Jimmy and Dorrans, while were now in full song. I felt won- ham play should check out the Roy got us up to practicality mid derful that my boy had done video of Albion’s visit to Old West Bromwich will be celebrat- table and we were safe by the this---a true miracle. I was so Trafford in December 1978. ing the contribution that Cun- last game of the season, away proud of him!!!! The football world was forever ningham along with his fellow to Newcastle. A meaningless talking about us because we Three Degrees, Brendon Batson game between two mid-table That performance in the last were astonishingly good, highly and made when teams, but, hey hoe, I haven’t game of the season cemented entertaining and beating almost their statue is eventually un- yet developed the Zen to ac- his place in the squad and Roy everyone put in front of us. If veiled in West Bromwich town cept defeat happily and I was started the next by partnering there was a star of the show it centre. Books by Bowler and distinctly unhappy when we him with our new signing Shane was the unplayable Cunning- Bains (Samba in the Smethwick, proceeded to ship three goals. Long. It was a great combina- ham. People have since likened 2000) and Paul Rees’ The Three In the second half Tchoi came tion, so good that at Stamford him to Ronaldo but he was bet- Degrees (2014) record not only on as sub to thunderous cheers Bridge we outplayed Chelsea ter. Just take a look at the pitch their footballing achievements, from me, and groans from the and were very unlucky to lose. he had to play on that afternoon but also their social and cultural other Baggies fans. But when PO Came back from in Manchester. impact on what was a dismal injury, my boy found 1st.team country in the late seventies. Immediately my boy Tchoi raced opportunities very limited and Earlier this season there was through on goal and shot past his last game for us was at Cra- an exhibition of pictures and But it is not just West Bromwich Tim Krul - 3-1. A few minutes ven Cottage where his imperial journalism about Cunningham who recognise all this. The ITV later, my boy crashed an unstop- strike equalised the score at 1-1. at the splendid Park Theatre hour-long documentary First pable shot into their net - 3-2. He was released that summer. adjacent to Finsbury Park Sta- Among Equals: The Laurie Suddenly, we had belief and we tion. Titled Different Class and Cunningham Story broadcast stormed forward; a wonderful So two eventful years of Somen curated by Sunday Times pho- in 2013 contains more remark- cross from Jonas and my boy Tchoi came to an end. I must tojournalist Dermot Kavanagh, it able footage. A plaque outside stooped low at the far post and admit to anger and tears when contained cuttings from football Leyton Orient’s Brisbane Road headed a goal into the net - 3-3. this contradictory talent was re- magazines, photographs of him was unveiled the same year A hat trick for my hero and the leased. An enigma, a genius, my in Orient, Albion and Real Ma- commemorating the 39th anni- miracle was complete. I had by boy Tchoi will never, ever leave drid kit as well as priceless ones versary of his debut for the club. now lost my voice screaming my memory. of him in, shall we say, exem- English Heritage has plans for a plars of what every cool dude blue plaque at an as yet unan- from Islington should have been nounced site in north London, wearing at the time. Kavanagh the first for a football player. is writing a book about him, de-

14 15 self (with the notable exception up losing 2-6. But the defence MATCH REPORT of the goal). Sure, they had a lot was soaking up the pressure WEST BROM 2 – 1 ARSENAL of possession, but we’ve grown and deflecting Arsenal’s chanc- accustomed to not seeing the es with ease. Despite the game ball near blue and white stripes being played largely in our end, for the majority of the game. It’s we managed the occasional Anoushka Probyn Reports: not pretty, but it’s how we play. chance, with the closest, from Once in Birmingham we made With an impressive volley from Olsson, hitting the bar. It has been my lot in life to our way to Gas Street Basin, Morrison, we were even and, always be surrounded by Arse- stopping at Tap and Spile on the not long after, suddenly ahead Then Brunt fouled Alexis in the nal fans, from my Thierry Hen- canal for a quick spot of lunch thanks to some clumsy work box, and it looked like it was ry-worshipping primary school and a pint or two. I recommend from Arteta. Leading in the first all over. Carzola stepped up to classmates, to my current San- the quesadillas, although Dave’s half? Sounds like a recipe for the spot, reminding many in the chez-enthusiast circle of friends. improvised chip butty (an order disaster. crowd of that ill-fated day not so of bread and butter, and a side long ago at the Emirates when Growing up in North London of chips) looked pretty good I spent most of the second the chubby Spaniard dived in it’s either Spurs or Arsenal, but I too! The barge was slow to say half watching from behind my front of Steven Reid’s foot to was lucky (or unlucky, depend- the least, but jolly, and, with the hands, convinced we were go- earn a penalty. Though we’d ing on whether you’re more of warmth of an alcohol coat pro- ing to royally screw up and end have no doubt taken a point at a pessimistic Baggie) enough vided by the on-board bar, not to become a West Brom fan too cold. (thanks dad), enduring years of smugness and not-so-witty To the game, the element of the barbs when we were inevitably day I was least looking forward beaten. to. I’d previously entertained two Gooners on separate occa- This game I was bringing one sions at the Hawthorns, losing of said friends along, to his first miserably on both occasions, away game no less. A typical and I’d had to put up with them Gooner (read: annoyingly su- gloating throughout. perior and confident of victory), he was expecting three points, With Giroud’s goal early on, this myself, none. game was already looking likely to go the same way. However, The journey to Brum was un- we weren’t looking quite as doc- eventful, except for my friend ile as in recent years, offering up accepting West Brom as his sec- some relatively attacking (!) foot- ond team after much cajoling. ball with McLean looking sharp, They should make me club PR! and the defence its usual sturdy

16 17 the start of the match, this late Whether it was Arsenal’s patchy on a draw would feel like a loss. injury-hit squad, just a bad day Yet the football gods were smil- at the office for Arsene, or karma ing down on us, for once, and coming back to bite, we went somehow, as he went to kick, he away with three hard-fought slipped, sending the ball flying points and one very sad Goon- high over the bar. The points er. At least, as I helpfully pointed were saved, the away fans si- out to him, his second team lenced, and to top it off Carzola won! of all people had been the one to choke.

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