English Edition BURMA~ WOMEN’S VOICES TOGETHER

Edited by the Thanakha Team

The opinions expressed in the articles contained herein are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of the Alternative Asean Network on Burma (Altsean-Burma) nor do they necessarily reflect the opinions of other contributors.

Λ L T S E Λ N B U R M A ALTERNATIVE ASEAN NETWORK ON BURMA i

The book Burma ~ Women’s Voices Together will also be available in Shan, Mon, Kachin, Karen, Burmese and other languages of Burma. For more details, please email the publishers.

BOOK DESIGN BY MA THANDA

Published by: Alternative Asean Network on Burma (Altsean-Burma) P O Box 296 Lardprao Post Office Bangkok 10310 Thailand Tel: 66 1 850 9008 Fax: 66 2 693 4939 Email: [email protected]

© The Authors

ISBN 974 – 91314 - 4 - 4

Printed in Bangkok, Thailand

June 2003

ii CONTENTS

iv MAP OF BURMA indicating some of the locations mentioned in this book v EDITORS’ NOTE a message from the Thanakha Team

1 A FOUNDATION OF ENDURING STRENGTH Foreword by Daw Aung San Suu Kyi

3 NO FALLEN RIVER, NO FALLEN TREE by Naw Khine Mar Kyaw Zaw

7 DEATH THREATS & THE DISAPPEARED DUCK by Ah Mu Doe

14 SPICE, POLITICS & INSPIRATION a tribute to Daw Kyi Kyi by Ma Ma Pyone

17 A CHIN WOMAN’S STORY by Van Sui Chin

23 A UNIQUE EDUCATION Nang Charm Tong

29 SEARCHING FOR A LOST FATHER by Say Meh

32 HEALTH ON THE OTHER SIDE by Dr Cynthia Maung

36 SHARING FEELINGS by Mya Khwa Nyo

43 UNTIL THE LAST COW by Jamila, as told to Chris Lewa

51 THE VOICES OF WOMEN IN OUR STRUGGLE by Daw Hla Hla Moe

i 55 MY LIFE AS A WOMAN SOLDIER by Nang Mo Ngern Hom

60 MAGIC SHOW by Chaw Aiee Marn

65 SCENT OF STEEL FLOWERS FROM PRISON Poems by Women Political Prisoners

70 SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (OHN) as told to Ma Hla Pyi Won

79 MAKE-UP SMEARS ON CRUMPLED PAPER by Aye Mi Phyu

85 REBEL’S DAUGHTER by Sa Bae

88 PICKING UP THE FALLEN RICE STALKS by Ma Aye Pwint

92 FAMILY TRAGEDY by July

95 SECRET MISSION by T. Heng Nan

98 HOW MUCH FURTHER? by A Woman Amongst Many Others

101 WE TIE OUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR STRENGTH (INNOCENT AUNTY GOES TO PRISON) by Let Let

108 AFTER THE CEASE-FIRE by Say Meh

110 EVERYONE’S DUTY by Ma Vedar

113 WHAT DOES DEMOCRACY MEAN TO US - BURMESE WOMEN? by Nang Lao Liang Won ii 117 UNIVERSITY OF REAL LIFE by Naw Cho Cho Khaing

121 HPAKANT: A SMALL TOWN by Choun

124 HOLD ON FRIENDS, SOON WE WILL REACH HOME by Hser Tu Kaw Tha Blay

128 SUICIDAL MISSION by Tin Htar Swe

132 DAYS OF HOPE by Swe Swe

137 NEUTRAL THOUGHTS by a Young Woman from Myanmar

141 A DAUGHTER UNDERSTANDS by Winnie

143 TRUE STORY by Daw Hman

147 BATTERED FLOWERS OF A BAD SYSTEM by May Sit Mone

153 GAIN WITHIN LOSS by Phyu Lay

158 STRENGTH AMIDST TRAGEDY by Yu Yu

161 SPEAKING THE LANGUAGE OF THE WHITE FEMALE DOVE by Daw Khin Aye Myint

166 A BORDER INCIDENT by Khin Htay Kyu

172 VOICE FOR RECONCILIATION by Naw Khine Mar Kyaw Zaw, as told to Ma Ma Pyone

iii EDITORS’ NOTE A Message from the Thanakha Team1

At the time this book goes to print, the author of our foreword, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi is being detained at a military camp, having survived a violent ambush on her entourage. The foreword reached us before the ambush on Black Friday, May 30, 2003. Black Friday and the ensuing nationwide crackdown has been the bloodiest attack on the pro-democracy movement since 1988. Daw Aung San Suu Kyi’s words remind us why people in Burma are prepared to risk imprisonment and violence for the sake of reconciliation and peace. This resolve is echoed throughout the rest of the book by women of diverse backgrounds. These women’s voices tell us they want something better for their communities and their country, and that they are prepared to work for it. Apart from Daw Aung San Suu Kyi’s foreword, the articles in this book previously appeared in the first three editions of the bilingual “Women’s Voices” series: Burma~ Voices of Women in the Struggle (1998), Burma ~ More Women’s Voices (2000) and Burma ~ Women’s Voices for Change (2002). Some pieces have been edited. We hope that this selection will help readers develop an understanding of the Burma situation and inspire them to support the women of Burma. These women have taken the courageous step to share their hearts and minds, some for the first time. Heartfelt appreciation goes out to all the women and men who have supported the “Women’s Voices” series over the years. The list of contributors is very long, and includes those whose anonymity must be preserved for their own safety. Also appreciated are women translating this book into different ethnic languages so that women of Burma can read about themselves and their sisters from other parts of the country.

Bangkok, 2003

1 The Thanakha Team is an ad hoc collective of women that produces the “Women’s Voices” series. Thanakha is a fragrant wood paste mostly used by women throughout Burma as a cosmetic and natural sunblock. v Foundation of enduring strength A foreword by Daw Aung San Suu Kyi The dream of Burma as a strong, prosperous Union where all her people are ensured freedom and security, is an endeavour that must be approached with unified efforts by all our people. Only a nation built on understanding and trust will endure, and provide its people with a haven where their creativity will be nourished and their humble dreams made possible. The necessary prelude to the building of such a Union is national reconciliation. Reconciliation does not mean surrendering our unique cultures, abandoning our traditions, or relinquishing our customs. Rather it means creating a way by which different ideas and practices can exist together without being unfriendly to each other. More positively, it means being complemented and empowered by diversity. We should therefore value our differences as they make us unique in today’s world. Understanding each other will help us create a strong, lasting foundation on which we can build a nation that truly represents us and of which we can be proud. The adversities that we have had to face together have taught us that there are no barriers that cannot be overcome. Intolerance and misconceptions are the greatest threats to harmony and reconciliation. It is not enough simply to “live and let live” - genuine tolerance requires an active effort to try to understand the point of view of others; it implies broad- mindedness and vision, as well as confidence in one’s own ability to meet new challenges. If our country is to progress into a strong, prosperous Union that guarantees the freedom and security of all its citizens, we each must be aware of our own potential and work to realize this vision. Women have traditionally played the role of unifier and peacemaker within the family. They instil a nurturing sense of togetherness and mutual caring. They balance love and tenderness with discipline while nurturing growth and understanding. Women have the capacity for the compassion, self-sacrifice, courage and perseverance necessary to dissipate the darkness of intolerance and hate, suffering and despair. Women have an innate talent for resolving differences and creating warmth and understanding within a framework of mutual respect and consideration. This talent should be used to address not only our individual, family and community needs, but also to contribute towards the process of reconciliation, which will make our country a democratic society that guarantees the basic rights of the people. Burma has been an independent nation for more than half a century but we have still not been able to make it a true refuge for our people. Too many have been forced to try to find refuge elsewhere. There is much that still needs to be done before our country can become the place that best offers us heart’s ease and happiness, the home where we can enjoy the tranquillity of assured justice and the warmth of a caring society. Such a time can and will come only when unity and peace come to Burma. The women inside and outside Burma who are working for ethnic reconciliation in Burma are laying a sound foundation on which the Union of our dreams can be established. Their work will be honoured by all who truly love our country and who would like to see our peoples realize their potential, secure within the rule of just laws and good governance. I hope this book will help build greater understanding of the ideas, dreams and experiences of many different types of women from Burma. These women are not speaking merely for themselves, they are also voicing our cares and aspirations. They are teaching us that while our differences define us, it is ultimately our similarities that form a foundation of enduring strength. Burma, 2003

Daw Aung San Suu Kyi leads the National League for Democracy, the party that won Burma’s 1990 elections by a landslide. No elections have been held since, and country’s military regime has refused to allow parliament to be convened. Daw Aung San Suu Kyi has been awarded a number of prizes for her inspiring work, including the 1991 Nobel Peace Prize. No Fallen River, No Fallen Tree by Naw Khine Mar Kyaw Zaw Every woman wishes to have a peaceful life that has no oppression, no fear. People who wish to live peacefully have been living in a climate of no peace and no ease during this 50-year-long civil war. I have bowed to sisters of all ethnic groups for marching forward towards the goal of peace despite the fact that their lives have been very painful and bitter. I cannot resist kissing the hands of those sisters, who sow the seeds for peace, for those in similar circumstances and for the new generation, whilst they themselves struggle to be free from a bad system. Our fellow women or sisters are living on Burma’s frontier areas and carrying out the tasks of our revolution. Every time we meet we would discuss and share how we can best take up our roles and duties in order to elevate and improve the lives of women and bring peace to Burma. As time goes by we become closer and fonder of one another. However we do not have enough time to be able to talk about our own experiences and feelings. We have left those parts of our own lives behind us. We have had to forget those things. At a seminar for empowering women and building peace we learnt of each other’s lives. I was saddened but very proud at the same time, to learn that despite heart-rending sorrow, feelings of hurt, and bitterness, we women struggled through civil war and then we openly and like true friends drew back the curtains of our lives. Surprisingly and sadly I learnt that not one of us has lived smooth and poetic lives. In all of our hearts there was at least one painful memory from living within this civil war and under the shadow of the current oppressive system. Despite all of this we have survived, we have made it and we have succeeded. Through all these many of our sisters became leaders among women. In the same seminar, all of us were asked to describe or portray our lives with “Trees and Rivers” by the facilitator who led the discussion on peace building. I did not see any tree that had green twigs, green branches, green leaves, buds, or flowers on that day though. Neither could I envision a river that had no bends, no tide and ebbs and no flotsam. “This is the tree of my life. Here, on this side, I am the broken little twig. I was 14 years old at that time. When the Na Wa Ta1 soldiers entered my village and burned down everything we were running as though the whole world was shattered and ruined. My sickly mother died when she was running from the soldiers. All our relatives and siblings were separated from each other. I have not been back to my little village since then.” “You can see here the dried leaves on my trees. When I was 20 years old my father was killed in our hut by the SPDC soldiers’ bullets. We had to run for our lives without being able to bury him. We became orphans then. Though we loved pleasant and melodious music, the only sounds that we became familiar with were those of guns and bombs. Finally we reached one of the refugee camps on the border. I am now teaching children in the camp while at the same time, working for the improvement and empowerment of women lives. Me and my siblings still remember and miss dearly our parents’ birth place even after we all got married over here.” This was the voice of a Karenni sister who told

1 Na Wa Ta is the Burmese short form of the State Peace and Development Council (SPDC). her story. Her voice quavered as she spoke while the hearts of all sisters in that room heaved up and down with emotion. Our sisters of Mon, Bamar, Rakhine, and Shan portrayed their lives by using metaphors of a tree and river. The river and tree of any of us has not been running smoothly and the paths and routes have not been without obstacles. Some had left parents, some were separated from loved ones, and some even lost their offspring. I could not but respect the courage of these sisters who kept their tears in their hearts while they walked past an ocean of fire. I have named these sisters “Heroines.” “This is my life river. Bending and ups and downs are my life story. You can see it bending since the beginning of my life. My father was a revolutionary. My mother gave birth to me on the bank of the Salween River under the moonlight, when the moon was just a little curl on the sky as my father was fighting on the frontline.” When our mother gave birth to each of the five of us, our father was away. With grief on her face, mother retold the story. I tried repeatedly to find an answer to how and with what kind of energy our mother gave birth to us in this rugged forest. I used to cry a lot as a child but I am a stubborn and hardheaded woman now. Many people would really be amazed to see me as “Thabone Ma,”2 compared to the little frightened girl I used to be. Many times the security of the guerrillas would be compromised by my loud cries in the mountainous jungle. Because of these cries my mother said she had to hand me over to my aunt when I was just a few months old. I had accused my mother of being unfair. “You do not know how I had to pull myself to go on. You do not know how hard our life was,” she would tell me. She said she harbored grievance in her mind but I did not know against whom she harbored her grievance. However I had my grievance too, but it would not be the same as mother. My mother used to blame “fate” but I am able to see the real culprit of our suffering instead of putting blame to fate like my mother. This is the high and low of my life’s river. I grew up with my aunt thinking that she was my real mother. But the truth could not be covered up forever. People started to realize that I was a daughter of rebels when I was just in high school. Some were scared of me. Some were sympathetic but still treated me unfairly. That made me a woman with stubbornness and steadfastness. This is an up and down of my life’s river. I was not able to see my revolutionary father, “Thabone Gyi,”3 how and what he looked like. Due to many inconveniences, father and daughter were not able to meet each other, although several attempts were made. Then he was killed in a battle. Mother consoled me that we were not meant to meet each other due to our past yay zet.4 Father, I am a rebel now. To get a peaceful and tranquil state was my father’s aim. My aim is to get peace for the future of Burma. I genuinely believe that we all will have peace one day. It has been two to three generations that have sacrificed our

2 A female rebel or guerrilla in Burmese. 3 Thabone gyi means a big rebel. 4 Yay zet is the Buddhist perception that past deeds of merit committed together result in present or future encounters. tears and blood during this civil war. I am now in this revolution with the belief that my faith will prevail. As my metaphoric life river was full of tears running down and flowing, so were there tears flowing down the faces of our ethnic sisters. All of us came from different ethnic backgrounds of Karen, Karenni, Pa-O, Palaung, Lahu, Kachin, Chin, Mon, Bamar, Rakhine and Shan and we speak different languages. But there was no difference in all our experiences and feelings on that day. As our sisters on the border and frontier areas went through bitter experiences resulting from the sounds of battles and unpleasant scenes of war, the lives of our sisters in cities and urban areas were also crushed under oppression and fear. Playing dangerously close to the mouth of the jail, they continued to struggle despite risks of imprisonment. They have had to struggle, under a terrible oppression and system, to live peacefully with their parents, family, and relatives. Now we have established a “League of Women” with solidarity and shared desire to rise up against the oppressive system and rooted discriminatory customs and traditions that have existed in our society for many years. Our aim is to build women’s capacities and to empower them. Our ultimate aim is to build a peaceful and pleasant future for Burma. I would like to urge all our sisters to march forwards to the goal of peace with our hands tied together and I would like to give a bow to all our sisters of all ethnic nationalities. The Thai-Burmese border, 2002

Naw Khine Mar Kyaw Zaw is a young Karen woman, born into the revolution. She is based on the Burma-Thailand border. In 2003, she became a Hellman/Hammett awardee in recognition of her work. Death Threats and the Disappearing Duck by Ah Mu Doe All my life, my biggest problems have come from the Slorc5 . When I was born in 1946, we Karenni people owned our own villages and our own state. But the Burmese came when I was in kindergarten in Maw Chi Mine, Lo Ka Loe village, Karenni State. My father was a Karenni soldier and was killed in the battlefield. My mother sent me away to District Two, Bu Koe village for primary school. Then the Burmese came to Bu Koe, so we had no more school there. My mother sent me to study high school in Pa Ku Karen High School in Toungoo. When I finished, my mother asked me to come back home to be a teacher for two years. Before I returned to teach, I wanted to study with my aunty who was a nurse in Taungyi, Shan State. I studied with her and she taught me how to be a midwife. For one year I studied and practiced with her, and we delivered 160 children. My aunty was famous in Taungyi for delivering children. After a year or so, I went to my mother’s village to be a teacher for 2 years. Then I returned to my birthplace, Maw Chi Mine, where I married and had 3 sons. I took care of many patients and delivered many babies. I had to do everything as both doctor and nurse, because there was no clinic, no doctor, no other midwives. I worked very hard, so when there were others to replace me, I decided to rest. At that time there were not many shops in the village, so I opened a shop. I was happy to do it. When there were many shops, I changed my work and started my own tin and wolfram mine. There were many such personal mines, but very few run by women. I worked in the mine because I had no husband. My husband had been a mine worker, but was killed when the mine collapsed. My youngest son was only 8 months old and I have been a widow since then. I never remarried, so now I am free to do work for women; free to do what I want and go where I like. I made the mine myself, and I asked workers to dig. When I got minerals, I took them and sold them to the government. I was lucky, and my workers worked hard for me. Some mine supervisors were not good, but I was honest with my workers. I could pay them, sometimes with a bonus, so they enjoyed working with me. Besides working in the mine, I also became chairperson of our Religious Women’s Organization. On special days, like Union Day, our women’s group would organize events and sing songs. We dressed as soldiers and spoke out for our people and what we believed. The Slorc gave our people many problems, so we always struggled against them. Sometimes they fired mortars into our village. They also made us relocate, and we had civil war in Karenni State. Our sons became soldiers and we often had to move and could not stay at home. So we sang songs like this: Home again, home again, when shall I see my home? When shall I see my native land?

5 Ah Mu Doe uses “Slorc” (the State Law and Order Restoration Council) as a general reference to the ruling military regime in Burma. “Slorc” covers military rule under General Ne Win to the renamed SPDC (State Peace and Development Council). I never forget my home. Oh my mommy don’t worry, Oh my daddy don’t worry. If I lose my life in this Karenni battlefield, Nevermind, we’ll meet in heaven. Mommy’s at home, Daddy’s at home. When shall I see my home? When shall I see my native land? I never forget my home. The Slorc caused other problems too. Our grandmothers and grandfathers did not like alcohol, so they did not make or sell it. When the British came, they wanted to set up an alcohol shop, but they listened to the protests of grandmothers and grandfathers and did not open a shop there. When we grew up, we saw that it was not good for our children to drink alcohol and decided to keep our grandparents’ culture. We made a signboard, and we wrote that alcohol could not be made or sold in our village. We signed our organization’s name and put it in front of our village. We did this only for our village, not in other villages. There were other villages where people could sell alcohol, so I don’t know why the Slorc insisted on selling in our village. First, they made mud and threw it on our signboard. So I went and cleaned it one time. Next, they took a knife and slashed it, showing no respect. So we took our signboard to the church, and the church took it and put it in another place. We prayed for our culture and for our religion, and our pastor also prayed. But the Slorc didn’t listen. They took away our signboard and threw it into a cemetery on a nearby hill. One day the government truck had an accident at the same place they threw away the signboard and some died. See, they should have shown some respect. Once, the leader of the Slorc called me to ask why we did not allow alcohol. I said it was because our sons might drink too much and be corrupted. We wanted to continue our traditions and didn’t need our sons and husbands to drink, then sleep on the road and forget about earning for their families. It was better for our future if they did not drink. The Slorc leader understood, but he also wanted alcohol for his business. So when I was there, they would hide and sell it in secret. They knew I was very brave and would throw their alcohol away. Yes, I was very brave. In our village, our women’s group would go house to house to find alcohol. If we found alcohol, we threw it away. Some of my friends were too afraid to actually throw away the alcohol, but not me. Once I went to a retired Slorc soldier’s house directly across from our Religious Women’s signboard. I went to his house and threw out his alcohol. He had some evil in his heart, so he went to the section leader and lied, saying I had stolen a gold necklace and 5,000 kyat from his altar. I heard about this from one woman, so I went to him and said, “I understand you. You want money back for the alcohol I threw away. Tell me how much it is worth, and I will give you double. Don’t lie to the section leader. And if you do this again, I will come and kill you!” That’s what I said. He understood me well, so he didn’t ask for money, and he didn’t complain again to the section leader. At that time, I had money from the mine, so I could give men twice their alcohol price and tell them never to keep it again. Other simple Burmese groups were too afraid to sell alcohol. But the Slorc troops had guns and they didn’t listen to our women. In my village, the problems I faced were because of this Slorc. Each time they came and asked us to make alcohol for them, we protested. We didn’t want to do it. But they carried guns and they ruled our village, and they said that they were the Party2 , so they had the power to do it. We fought them anyway. One time we held a meeting. We cooked very nice curry and invited the mine manager, Party leaders, the frontline captains, and the local heads of the Slorc to come and meet with our women’s group. During the meeting, one of the Party heads tried to accuse us of lying and said, “you tell us not to sell alcohol, not to make alcohol, but we see it is women selling alcohol, and women drinking alcohol.” One of our women retorted, “The women who drink are our intelligence agents! We need to find out if you sell it or not.” The man said they were a registered political party, so they could do it. I could not sit anymore, so I stood up and demanded, “What political rule gives you the right to do what many people do not like?” Our women’s organization needed to be strong like this because of the Slorc. For example, I had a duck that disappeared after a Slorc family moved nearby. I went around to all the Slorc families, and I asked them, “What curry did you have this morning?” One man said he had meat curry, but when I opened the pot, I saw it was duck! I went to the section leader and reported that my duck was stolen—that I asked the man what curry he had, and he said meat, but actually it was duck. It was embarrassing for the man, and one leader of the Slorc came and told me, “for your mouth, you will die!” I just said, “One day I was born, and one day I will die. I am not afraid.” They did not intimidate me after this, but I still lost my duck. The very top of the Party6 liked the way I could control my people, and he said I should join the Party. But the lower ones did not like me and said, “if you let her join, she will publicize all your mistakes!” They knew I could control my people but would not control my mouth. One such man was a judge. There was a woman in the village who was pregnant with twins. One twin was ok, but the other one was breached and died. The woman was a widow who had made a mistake with another women’s husband, so she would not tell me who the father was. I told her she must tell me, so she did. He already had a wife, and his wife was very strong. She wanted to support our women. So I asked her to report to the judge in the office. The judge told the man to pay 2,000 kyat to the widow, but after he paid, the widow got only 800 kyat because the judge kept the rest! I was the nurse and I knew this problem and understood. I told him that his Party was not good. I said it was a party that gobbled up what rightly belonged to women. There were many problems like this, so I did not join the Party.

6 “The Party” refers to the Burmese Socialist People’s Party, the only political party allowed under General Ne Win’s dictatorship. This has been replaced with the Union Solidarity and Development Association (USDA). I finally had to leave Maw Chi Mine when the government stole all our money. First, they stopped the use of 100 kyat notes. They said we could take our notes and exchange them, but they only gave us 5,000 kyat. Even if we gave them 10,000 or 20,000 kyat worth of 100 kyat notes, they gave back only 5,000 kyat. We lost so much money! But that was not enough for them. The second time they stopped 75, 35, and 25 kyat notes, and we could not exchange them for any other bills. So all the money we had kept for building a house, buying a garden, or sending our children to school was lost. We had nothing left and had to start again like we had just been born. Even though we lost our money, the Slorc still made us pay porter fees. The Slorc set up stations on the hills surrounding our village and they told us to carry water to them every week. Sometimes we had to be porters far away. If we did not become porters, we had to pay a porter fee. At that time I had no money, and I could not go to be a porter because my sons were still too young to leave alone. I also had no more money to send them to school, so my morale was down and I wanted to escape. I decided to go to the Thai-Karenni border, but first, I wanted to go to Thailand to sell my two buffaloes. I called my friend who also had 2 buffaloes, and we decided to sell them together. We didn’t tell anyone we were going to sell them in Thailand. Instead I went to the Slorc office to see the representative there. Other people didn’t dare go to the Slorc office because they were afraid, and the soldiers at the gate were never nice. But I told them straight that I wanted to see representative U Aung Thein. When I saw U Aung Thein, I told him, “our people chose you to be our representative to speak for our people. Now the government has taken all our money. Why don’t you speak for us! We live in Maw Chi Mine. We work very hard. Look at my hands! We have scraped away all our nails working in the mines. Now you stopped our money and we have no more. I have two buffaloes, and I want to take them to sell. I need to take them from Loikaw. Give me a letter of permission to travel and take the buffalo across checkpoints at each town.” He gave me the letter, so we 4 women with 4 buffaloes went away and I was able to sell the buffaloes one by one. Later on, U Aung Thein saw my cousin and asked her, “where is your sister?” When she told him I was in Thailand, he was surprised. He said I had come to get permission to travel from him, but he did not see me again and worried I was lost. I came to the Thai-Karenni border in 1987, but life was not stable. I took care of patients and if I had time, I taught children. Every year, the Slorc came and we had to run to the Thai side. When they left, we went back. Every year we had to run, then go back. Run, then go back. In 1995 we stopped going back and have stayed in refugee camps in Thailand since then. When I came to the Thai side of the border, I became the camp leader in 1996. Then on May 10th 1997, I was elected as chairperson of the Karenni National Women’s Organisation (KNWO). Our constitution says to elect the chairperson every four years, so next year we will gather together again. I am happy to do this job. My sons are grown and they can take care of themselves. I don’t need to worry about them. All women of Karenni State are my children, and I need to look after them. The first year I was KNWO chairperson, I opened a school and was a nursery school teacher. The second year, I stopped because there were other teachers with experience and training also. So I supervised weaving and sewing. The third year, I chose another woman to supervise, and now I can go anywhere. In the morning if I have time, I go to school, go to weaving, go to the office, and come to Mae Hong Son to meet guests or some new friends. Like this I can go everywhere. Whatever needs to be done, I can do. I will always try to attack problems. Many children smoke, drink alcohol, and I don’t like it. I need the children to study, get a lot of education, and become leaders. And they will work in the right way. If we drink alcohol, we have no money for our life, and we will tell lies and get money in bad ways. I want to control this problem. In Burma, the democracy movement won the vote but they could not get power. So it is very difficult for us. We religious women cannot do anything, but we pray to God. God can do anything, and God came make the heart soft. We must wait a long time because men don’t understand themselves. But God will treat these people’s hearts and make their hearts soft, so what is bad will be lost. God will prepare what men cannot, and we must pray to God to do it. With education, we can work together in peace and become leaders in our country. We want to go back to our country when we can be free to improve—improve education, improve health, improve government, and improve everything. We must build understanding, but it will take a very long time. I think it will take until my grandchildren’s generation. When I work with my people, I hope my people will grow well with health and strength, education, peace, and unity. As for my life, I know I am blessed. Because I am a widow, I have no strength to do anything. But I can eat like others, and dress like others. This is a blessing for me. I cannot work very hard, but I can get my daily bread. In my house, I have a little garden and I grow vegetables for eating. I can get enough to share with my neighbors and friends to eat together. If I have nothing, my friends come and give something to me. In my life, I think I am a blessed woman. I want to develop the children and women. We women must organize. Sometimes we have difficulty because we are not very rich. We have to meet and discuss how to overcome problems. Sometimes we must think how to get immigration fees, how to hire a car to go to the camps, and travelling is always difficult. We think our dreams are very great! But there is a lot of work to do and we alone cannot do it. But slowly, our people will come up. The Thai-Burmese border, 2000

Ah Mu Doe continues her work in the Karenni camps on the Thai-Burmese border. She also continues to invite foreign visitors to lunch at her hut in hopes of recruiting them as volunteers for her organisation, the Karenni National Women’s Organisation (KNWO). She told her story to Ma Hla Pyi Won. Spice, Politics & Inspiration a tribute to Daw Kyi Kyi Daw Kyi Kyi was the owner of a spice shop. Spices are essential to curry, an integral part of Burmese cuisine. Collectively, spices are one of Burma’s treasures. A spice shop holds many stories, some of which deserve to be told, while others can never be imagined. A Burmese political heroine and leading figure of the Burmese women’s movement, Daw Kyi Kyi was an executive member of the Burmese Women’s Congress in 1946. Joining the Communist Party of Burma (CPB) in 1945, and marrying Thakin Zin7, CPB Chairman, the choices she made in life were never the easy ones. Daw Kyi Kyi’s cumulative prison sentences made her the longest serving female political prisoner in Burma. Arrested and sentenced in 1959 and 1967 for her connections with the CPB, Daw Kyi Kyi did not break, even with 5 years of solitary confinement. Her awareness of the need for democratic political change made her a target for arrest in 1987. This time it was because her Buddhist merit ceremonies provided a forum for political discussions - particularly amongst the youth. After a brief period of release, she was arrested again in 1989 at the age of 70 and sentenced to 20 years. Despite appeals for her release on the grounds of age and deteriorating health, she was not freed until 1999. Her resolve in prison has been inspiring and instructive, particularly to other female political prisoners in Burma. Even when released from prison, she was never released from the surveillance of the military regime; they were always watching. The ever-present threat and reality of imprisonment did not deter Daw Kyi Kyi; she was a highly principled woman who believed in fairness and equality. Daw Kyi Kyi embraced her community as they embraced her. As spices are rooted in the history of land and people, Daw Kyi Kyi was shaped by those around her. Her priority was always for those in need, even when she herself was struggling. The partnership of her strong will and Rangoon spice shop enabled her to raise four children alone – Thakin Zin was killed by the Burmese military in 1975 - and help others in financial need. Daw Kyi Kyi gave strength and the necessary kyat8 to poverty-stricken people who could not afford education for their children, health care, or the funerals of loved ones. Ill mothers became well again and newborn babies strong, while Daw Kyi Kyi herself became mother to children abandoned as a result of armed conflict. Underground political activists and students were also supported by Daw Kyi Kyi’s generosity and love. She prepared food packages for political prisoners and delivered them personally to the prison. She supported their families who were suffering outside. Daw Kyi Kyi even managed to establish a covert system whilst incarcerated, whereby more vulnerable prisoners benefited from various forms of support. This astounding woman would reserve her own food, and even medicine, in order to help others.

7 Thakin means ‘master’, an honorific that Burmese nationalists reclaimed for themselves, from the British colonial authorities 8 Burmese currency. Daw Kyi Kyi’s philosophy was simple and something we can all learn from: We are all people deserving fairness and equality. Against all the odds, and even though subject to physical and psychological torture in prison, Daw Kyi Kyi maintained her dignity, principles and love for all. Even the MI (military intelligence) and prison guards were not regarded as enemies but as civil servants performing their duties, such was the extent of her forgiveness and compassion. Her priority to help others, regardless of their belief system, politics or other differences, has made her name synonymous with generosity, helpfulness and an overriding sense of fairness. As spices define and complete a dish, so has Daw Kyi Kyi’s crucial and inspiring role defined the best aspects of Burmese politics. Her strength and love should be considered inseparable from the experience of Burmese politics - past, present and future. A woman of grace and a spirit of spice, Daw Kyi Kyi is one of Burma’s treasures. Daw Kyi Kyi passed away at the age of 82 on 15 June 2001 in Rangoon; she was not incarcerated at the time of her death Bangkok, 2002

This tribute was written by Ma Ma Pyone, who interviewed several people close to Daw Kyi Kyi as part of her research. A CHIN WOMAN’S STORY by Van Sui Chin My name is Van Sui Chin. I was born in Thantlang town, Chin State in 1969. There are 7 people in my family: my father, mother and 4 brothers and sisters. My father worked for the Burmese army as a military intelligence officer. In 1986, I passed my matriculation and went to Rangoon University where I studied history. In my second year, the 1988 uprising began and I participated in many of the student demonstrations. On March 13, I heard that Phone Maw9 had been killed at Rangoon Institute of Technology (RIT). My friend and I rushed there, but only saw his clothes, shoes and bag, stained with blood. The army had taken his body to the hospital. When we saw this we cried. There were many other students with us and we later demonstrated. General Ne Win’s photograph was burnt and we hung our national flag upside down. Our student movement became stronger after 3 days of demonstrations, and the army was unable to control us. They blasted tear gas at us. There were so many students that I could not see what was in front of me. I was one of the many students arrested by the army and taken to Insein jail. In each room there were about 50 to 60 students so we could not sit or sleep at night. It was the hot season. The guard gave us food. We didn’t want to eat this food and began a hunger strike. The army treated us very badly. They said that we would not be released for at least 3 months – that we should eat because otherwise we would die. After 2 days we were very afraid, so we started eating. After a week, they asked us who our fathers were. They called me along with 9 others to their office, asking for more information about our fathers, since we had told the truth and said they worked for the army. They wanted us to sign a document. Nothing was explained. They said, “You are the children of the army, your fathers are serving the country so you cannot go against this rule. You must sign and you will be released.” At first we did not want to sign, but we discussed that if we did not sign, we would not be released– we would die in the jail, and would be unable to help those who remained. In the end, we signed. After two weeks I was released. They told me I was not allowed to stay in Rangoon and must return to Chin State immediately. I was arrested on the 18th of March and released on the 4th of April. That same day, I was taken to the airport and forcibly returned to Chin State. There were two soldiers waiting for me when I arrived. I had to sign my name again, and was escorted to a truck heading for Thantlang. In Chin State there are no buses or government transportation so most people travel by truck. Most Chin students were sent back from Rangoon, so we formed a Chin Students’ Union in Thantlang, where I became the treasurer. We aligned ourselves with other student organisations throughout Chin State. We had many demonstrations, and held meetings in secret. Our student movement was gaining strength. One day we occupied the government offices in Thantlang, and did not allow the workers to enter. The reason we did this was because the workers used to steal the goods and the local people could not

9 The day marking the anniversary of Phone Maw’s death has been dedicated as Burma Human Rights Day and celebrated as such since 1988. get them cheaply. Every day 5 or 6 students had supply office duty, making sure that goods such as sugar, rice, and salt were sold properly. On September 18, the army took control of the whole country. There were rumours that a battalion from Haka10 was coming to Thantlang to build a camp, so we were not safe. The situation was very dangerous, so I fled to India with my friends. After walking for 5 days we reached Mizoram State in India11. We went to the Indian Counsel President, explained our problem, and asked for protection. He could not understand everything that we told him, as Mizo, the dialect spoken in Mizoram, is different from Chin. He said it was not safe to stay as many Burmese traders came through the town and might work for army intelligence. He wrote us a letter guaranteeing our safety to travel to Saiha town. We traveled to Saiha town and the Council President there found houses for my friends to stay in and I was sent to a tea stall to work as a servant. It was very hard as we did not understand Mizo at first, and we served the wrong things. After a month I could understand, and made fewer mistakes. I did not get paid while I worked at the tea stall – we shared food, that is all. I worked very hard. I got up at 4 am and spent the whole day working – washing, making snacks for tea, and cooking. At night I slept at midnight or 1 am. After about a year my health was very bad. I was sick and could not work so hard. Most of the time I could not sleep. If I did not work hard, the owner did not like me and I had to find another place to work. I was never paid. I thought that if I continued to work like this much longer I would die. It is very difficult for a woman to survive in Mizoram. Women who work as domestic servants never get paid. Their employer says he will pay them when they decide to return to Burma, but this does not happen. The employer threatens to go to the police and report us. Because we are foreigners, we will be sent to jail. Some return to Burma with no money and are arrested. The army suspects returnees of having connections with the Chin National Front12. Some women are too scared to return to Burma, cannot get a salary, and become prostitutes. Before we came to Mizoram, we had never heard about prostitution, but many are afraid they’re going to die of hunger and will do anything to feed themselves. Many women working in houses are raped. If a man’s wife finds out, she reports it to the police, the Chin woman is arrested and faces deportation. The Indian government has not allowed the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) to have an office in Mizoram State. Secretly, the Indian and Burmese governments are friends. Burmese who have been deported are sometimes arrested upon return. Some have been executed and others sentenced to life imprisonment. Indian policy concerning us is not very clear. In December 1989, a student friend who had studied with me in Rangoon visited me in Saiha town. He was working as a teacher in Archhuang village near the border in Mizoram. He said, “You are working so hard you may die. We are sister and brother.

10 The capital of Chin State. 11 Chin State is adjacent to India’s Mizoram and Manipur States and South-eastern Bangladesh. 12 A Chin insurgent group. Whenever we have trouble we have to help each other so I will marry you.” I did not think or say anything except “Yes.” We lived in Archhuang village for 6 years. My husband taught mathematics and science at a private school. I had one daughter at the time, as well as caring for my brother-in- law’s daughter, who had been left with me when her mother had died. In 1995, my husband unexpectedly became very sick. The village is far from Saiha town, and we have to go to the hospital by foot. I could not go because of the children. We had no medicine. He was sick for only 3 days before he passed away. After he passed away it was not easy to survive, so I went to the headmaster of the school my husband worked at and asked for work. He said, “If you were a science student I could employ you, but you were only an arts student. You are no use to me.” I didn’t know how to survive with my children. I had heard about the UNHCR before my husband passed away from traders who came through the village. They told me that if I could travel to New Delhi, I would be able to receive protection from UNHCR. I took a risk, packed our clothes and with the amount of money in my hand and the two children, left Archhuang. I reached New Delhi in November 1995. I went to the UNHCR with my two children, and we received assistance within two months. Since that time we have been staying with the Chin community in New Delhi. I sent my children to school, and I started to learn English through a UNHCR sponsored program. After I finished, the UNHCR called me and asked if I could work for them as an interpreter. I have been working there ever since. The Chin Women’s Organisation (CWO) was formed on June 28, 1997. I am the vice- president. The aim of our organisation is to encourage Chin women to have more self- confidence– to stand on their own two feet, to gain knowledge and skills, to have solidarity among other Chin women, and to cooperate with other organisations in our struggle for democracy and peace in Chin State. We must unite first before we can move forward. We have to start with our family, then the community, our villages and finally, our whole country. We started a primary school in July. The main aim of our school is to maintain Chin literature and culture. We want to teach our children Chin, English and Burmese. The children go to the local Hindi school, but cannot understand what the teacher says. They go to school from 7 am to 12. After that they come to the CWO office and we are able to teach them Chin, mathematics, English and Burmese. The women rotate teaching classes. At present about 40 students come to our centre. Our 10 executive members give 200 or 300 rupees a month to cover the running costs of the centre, and to buy stationery. We have no textbooks and we buy the exercise books on credit. Each member receives 500 rupees a month from the UNHCR if married, and 1,200 rupees if unmarried13. As I work for the UNHCR, I give most of my pay. The Burmese government does not allow Chin language to be taught in Chin State. It was banned by an order in 1994. Since we are free here in Delhi we must teach our children Chin language and culture. There are many Chin people in Mizoram so we hope to open

13 The exchange rate is approximately 38 rupees to US$1. a CWO branch there14. We plan to have a branch in every town in Mizoram where Chin people are living. If we are strong in Delhi then we can do this. If we can’t do it here, we cannot do it there. The Canadian embassy has called me for resettlement. I cannot decide whether to go or stay. If I go to Canada I can only care for my family, and not for the Chin community in Delhi. I cannot decide. It is a good opportunity, especially for the future of my children, but this is my community. Now we are just starting to be organised, and our work is not yet going smoothly. This is my main problem. If the organisation was running smoothly, it would be easier to make my decision. Until November 1997, the UNHCR gave education assistance to our children. We sent them to English medium school so they could understand their classes, and also it is more useful for the future that they understand English rather than Hindi. However, the UNHCR has limited funds, and said our children should go to the local Hindi schools. They covered the costs of the medium school until April 1998, and then the assistance will drop to just cover the costs of the local school. This year will be harder than before. We must face our problems otherwise our children’s education will be spoilt. The community has decided to open a primary school with the assistance money the UNHCR will still give, instead of sending our children to the local school. We will teach Chin, English, mathematics, science and Burmese. In Burma we will not speak Hindi, so we prepare for the future. We have many Chin dialects. Haka, Falam and Mizo are similar, but Maputi and Didim are very different, so when we establish democracy in Burma, the common language should be English, like India. Most of the Chin people agree with this so we have to encourage our children to learn English. They also need to know Chin language, to know their national character and culture, and to know themselves. This is necessary in order for us to improve and progress in our country. 1999 is the centenary year of Christianity in Chin State. American missionaries first came in 1888 and managed our education and health system. Much progress was made in Chinland with these missionaries. Progress has been lost under the present government. The government says that they want us to be part of the union of Burma, which we would like, but how can we believe this government? We have to build our nation. We need to start in the family and extend to the nation. There are many refugees around the world. We are not the only ones suffering. Our government is the cause of our suffering. Some women and children in other countries are also suffering at the hands of their governments and culture. We will not be downtrodden, we must try and stand up and be strong, and to face the world. Chin women need to get education to make progress. If I go to Canada I will learn something and come back to Chinland and work, and if possible for the whole of Burma. New Delhi, 1998

14 There are approximately 40,000 displaced Chin people in Mizoram. After this article was first published in 1998, Van Sui Chin and her children resettled in Ottawa, Canada where she works with the Chin Human Rights Organisation. She helped establish hand-loom weaving income generation projects in Chin state. She also helps organise assistance for children of Chin women jailed by the regime. She has translated several books on women’s health into the Chin language and is looking for funds to cover printing and distribution. A Unique Education by Nang Charm Tong "If our country were free, all young people like you sitting in this room would be doctors, engineers, lawyers. All might have a complete, systematic education like other youth in the world" said a Shan elder at a meeting we had organized between elders and youth. These words really stuck in my mind. I am 20 years old. I lived a simple life as a child, in a village in central Shan State. As a child, I didn’t think too much about education, or workshops. I thought that I would live in Shan State all my life. When I was young I didn't worry much beyond my life in the village that I grew up in. Our village was not very big, it had about 100 households. As children, we went to the forest in the weekends to collect mushrooms if it was the season. It was a very good time for children like us. Sometimes we also searched for bamboo shoots or wild vegetables for food. We could play as we searched from hill to hill, and picked colorful wild flowers. In the summer, we also kept our eyes open for beehives for their honey. In the winter, we talked with each other in the evenings. As we shared our thoughts and ideas, we also shared food – cut bamboo poles, stuff them with sticky rice, and roast them until they were done and smelled good. It was very cold in winter, and people in our village burned just enough wood just to make everyone warm. Apart from roast sticky rice, we also had Shan Khao Puk (pounded sticky rice with sesame. I also enjoyed making clay figures with my friends - roll the clay, put them in sunlight and collect them after they were all dry and hard. I went with them to shoot birds, as a child I thought it was fun and I was very excited to get at least one small bird. I didn't think if the birds that we shot had to go home and feed their babies waiting in the nest. Some elders killed the snakes that crawled on the road and cooked them, and they lied to us that it was chicken meat. The life of the people in my village was very simple, although they killed snakes or birds or hunted for animals, collected food from the forest or cut wood, it was just enough and good for the people in the village. They did not damage the forest by cutting too many trees or killing so many animals that they became extinct. Our lives were changed after the government military entered our village. One night, my mother told me to pack just enough clothes to carry and said that we would leave the next morning. We were ordered to move, we moved to two or three places that year. The very sad thing for me is that, at every new village that we moved to, I had to start 1st grade all over again at school. This was why my parents decided to send me to the northern Thai- Burmese border. My parents sent me to stay with someone they respected deeply, Teacher Mary. Teacher Mary had been raising displaced children, orphans. She turned her house into a boarding school. I went to her when I was about 7 years old and stayed for 9 years. The number of children has been increasing every year, because of the fighting on the border area. While I stayed with Teacher Mary, my parents struggled to maintain their lives somewhere in Shan State. Sometimes, I did not know where they were. I tried to contact them and tried very hard to see them at least once a year, if I was lucky. They sent some money for food and books and pencils, as well as some pocket money. During my first year on the border at Teacher Mary’s house, I got 2 baht pocket money to school every day. For me at that time it was not so bad. Every time I got a letter from my parents, I read through it over again and again. I told myself that I was luckier than other friends from our old village. I hadn’t seen them since I left the village. I kept the letters for years, so that I could read all the letters when I missed them. At first when my parents left me with Teacher Mary, I cried everyday, but because I was afraid that other children will know that I was home sick, I went into the bathroom to cry secretly. When my parents got a chance to visit me on the Thai border, I didn't want them to leave. It was a very difficult time. I was so lucky that I could go to school for nine years. Sometimes, I went to the Thai- Burmese border. There, many young children waited, hanging around, to be porters. They carried goods from one side of the border to the other. They were paid a little money each time, although the goods they carried were very heavy. Many girls in the village where I studied went to towns such as Chiangmai and Bangkok to find work. Many of them were 13 years old up. Some were even younger. They told me that they went to work as dishwashers and waitresses. The people in the village always gossiped that many of them went to work in the massage parlor, or became sex workers. They hated women who wanted to get jobs, so they said these women were prostitutes who were all infected by HIV/AIDS. The villagers shunned these women. They did not try to understand why women have to work like that, why they couldn’t choose other work. They did not have legal papers. Some of my friends had to support their family, to support their brothers and sisters to go to school, and to help their families survive. Yes, it was true that the number of the young girls and women who died of AIDS in the village had increased, but they did not deserve to be treated like that. I was extremely lucky to have more options than my friends – I became an intern at the Shan Herald Agency for News. News is so important to us on the border, especially news of our state. I learned how news was gathered, written and distributed. I interviewed friends and other refugees. I learned more of the problems that people faced in their lives. After that I became an intern at Altsean-Burma when I was 17. I discovered something about the situation some of my sisters from Shan State had to endure. I was shocked when I had to go to a girls' remand center in Bangkok, I saw 23 Shan girls who were arrested by the police as they were working in a massage parlor as prostitutes. Some of them were tricked from Kengtung Township, northeastern Shan State, their parents had lots of debts to pay, so agents went to the village, and asked their daughters to work in restaurants in Thailand. They were the same age as me, most of them couldn’t read or write in Shan language, only a few of them could speak broken Burmese or Thai. I went to the center several times with the Foundation for Women, to help give them support until they had to go to court. The judge asked questions that they did not understand, so I became their interpreter. They were detained for a while before being sent back to Tachilek, Burma. No one knows, whether some of them would cross the border into Thailand again to find some work for their family survival and to try to escape from rape and different kinds of violence facing women in our country. I had the chance to meet many diplomats and supporters of the Burma democratic movement. Sometimes foreigners are so different in the way they say or do things, so I had to learn how to be more tolerant and alert. However, there was an incident that shocked me the first time it happened. One evening, at a reception, when I said hello to a gentleman, he kissed my hand. I was really shocked, because in our culture we usually greet each other with a mysoong15, we do not touch each other. So I had to learn about other cultures as well. And my friends told me that it doesn't matter! It is because of differences of culture. I learnt about advocacy and lobbying work when I was an intern. Pressure from the international community and movements is very important to our cause. So, I worked hard to learn how we could persuade others to support political changes in Burma. It is not easy work and needs a lot of preparation. I am not an expert in it. Public speaking is difficult as well. I know I'm not so good at it but with support and preparation, I can overcome most of the obstacles. I know that speaking to people directly is one of the best ways to get their support, so despite the anxiety, I have learned to speak up for the cause. When I was 18, I made a statement to the UN Commission on Human Rights in Geneva for the first time. I was very nervous, and I only had five minutes to speak about the situation of children in our country. There were so many people in the room, diplomats, UN staff, NGOs, even the representatives of the military regime, all much older than me. I had to do my best – I had a responsibility to make sure they heard the voices of the young people of my country. Despite this, I could not help crying towards the end of my statement. Luckily, the UN people were considerate enough to allow me to finish my words. I was so surprised when many people came to hug me and give me their support after I finished my statement. If only our young people realized how much goodwill there was in the world. I'm very glad that I can apply all the skills I have learnt at the Shan Women's Action Network (SWAN). Nearly all of us are volunteers for our organization. SWAN is very young, we formed the organization only in March 28, 1999. Much of our work has focused on helping Shan refugees. Addressing the rights of women, raising awareness among the Shan refugee population along the Thai-Burmese border, trying to address the needs of children by organizing informal literacy training for the refugee children. We also work to oppose violence against women, especially domestic violence. SWAN has heard of and received many cases of violence in the family. One girl escaped to us from her father who always beat her and her mother, and used knives on her body. Her head was full of bleeding wounds. From the border, she arrived in Chiangmai in her school uniform, telling us that she might be killed if she dared to go home. By working and networking, we can assess the process of trafficking of girls and women from different border areas, and see how we can address this problem.

15 A common style of greeting in Asia. The person joins his or her own palms together to make a lotus shape and bows. Mysoong is the Shan word, and kadaw is Burmese. We now have a campaign "One baht, One Person per Month", to support the stationery costs and teacher salaries for our school in the border area. We are working to bring education to the Shan refugees who are forced to become illegal migrants in Thailand, to improve the future of the refugee children who came from Shan State. A group of Shan youth realized the problem of education for the Shan refugees and formed a youth volunteer team to provide training in English and Computer skills. If youth can have some basic education, they will have more opportunities to improve their skills and work effectively in different organizations. This year, I turn 21 years old, although my skills are not professionally learnt, at least I can work for my people and for peace, freedom and equality. I have had a chance to have more education than most people in my state, but not enough compared to the foreigners I deal with during my work. I have learnt so many things from my mentors, I have had to learn on the job. I am still learning, as I work for our revolution. It is a unique education. The military has done lots of things to damage our heart, our beliefs, our soul, and our rights. It is difficult for people to forget all kinds of violations that the military committed. There are still more and more violations of human rights Burma, especially in the rural and border areas. The best thing we have to do is to fight with our hearts and minds, so that we are not in fear and pain our whole life. Only when we move forward and change ourselves as we change our country, we will achieve our goals one day. The Thai-Burmese border, 2002

Nang Charm Tong is an active advocate of the rights of women and children in Burma. She has been involved in the international campaign on child soldiers and the international campaign to stop the Burmese military’s use of rape against ethnic women. Searching for a Lost Father by Say Meh I was nine months in my mother’s womb. She delivered me without the help of my father. I do not know how I grew up. It was difficult for a single parent to live in Karenni State. I cannot imagine how my mother managed to feed my sister and me. I went to school when I was five years old with the support of many generous neighbors and relatives. Time passed. When I grew up I realized that I had never seen my father. He never came back home. I started to think about it because I knew that my friends had fathers. I thought about it a lot. Sometimes I wanted to have a father with whom I could spend time together, like my friends. I did not know where my father was or what he looked like. I was not happy, I was not satisfied. I was really eager to find out who my father was and where he was now. I asked my Mum. “Mum, where is my father? And who is he?” My mother seemed very upset and she did not answer my question. She started to cry and I could not ask her again. My mum never talked to me about my father. Whenever I asked she always cried. Then I thought maybe I could find out from my neighbors. When I asked my neighbor I found out that I had a father and that he did not abandon my mother. He wants to be with my mother, but he loved his Karenni people more than us. When the situation became tense between the SLORC and KNPP, he was unable to return to my mother. The Karenni National Progressive Party (KNPP), had been resisting the Burmese Army (SLOCR/SPDC) for many years. It was very difficult for him to come back and stay with our family. It was not safe because everybody knew that he was a soldier of the KNPP. My father was living in the jungle all the time, he had to move from place to place. My mother could see my father, but if the military found out about this she would be killed. He once sent a message asking my mum to join him. Of course my mother could not. My mother loved her father, our grandfather very much, who was living with us, and she could not leave him. She had to look after him. Since that time, there had been no news from my father. He never returned since my mother had me in her womb. When I was about seven years old, my mother found another man and married him. I lived with my stepfather. But he was so cruel to me. My mother had two children with him. But when she became pregnant with the third child she could not deliver the baby. There was a clinic in the village but it was very far. It was 45 minutes walk to get there because there was no car in our village. We would not be able to afford the treatment. So she died and I was left alone. I did not know how to survive and could not think of my future. I was only twelve years old, in grade five. My stepfather did not allow me to continue my study. He told me to look after my half-brothers. My sister had moved to the refugee camp before my mother’s death. She lived there and got to see my father. I took care of my half-brothers full-time, after my mother died. My stepfather forced me to work like a slave and I only got left-over food from his children. He preferred to give food to his children first and if they could not finish, then he asked me to eat it. I thought of my father. I wanted to contact him. I knew that he loved me. When he knew that my mother died he asked someone to get me to come to the place where he lived. I knew that if I stayed with my stepfather I would not get any opportunity to improve my life, as he did not allow me to study. As soon as I heard the news from my father I quietly left my stepfather’s house, without letting him know of course. I guessed if he knew he would not let me go. I left the house secretly. It took me a month to reach my father’s place. I was sick along the way. On the way to my father’s place, there were about 10 villages. First day we arrived first village and stay there for one night. Second day we arrived another village and stayed there another night, etc- it took me more than 10 days to reached to the last village. When I arrived the last village, I had to wait till the battles between KNPP soldiers and SPDC soldiers stopped. They had been fighting near the area. When the situation improved, the villagers took me to the soldier camp that my father lived at. When we arrived at my father’s camp, some friends of my father knew that I was looking for him. They played a trick on me. They pointed at a man and said that was my father. I wasn’t sure. I was only 12 years old and had never seen him in all my life. Finally, someone else came forward and that man was really my father. It was the first time we’d seen each other. When he left, I was still in my Mum’s womb. Finally I knew who my father was. When we saw each other, we didn’t know what we to do, we just looked at each other and we both looked happy and sad. I have lived with my father’s care and love ever since. The Thai-Burmese border, 2000

Say Meh is a young Karenni woman working to raise awareness of the situation of Karenni people. She is based in northern Thailand. Since this story was first published, Say Meh has become a parent herself. She currently trains refugee nursery school teachers.

Health on the Other Side by Dr Cynthia Maung When I was a doctor in Burma, the main illnesses I treated were malaria, acute diarrhoea, and respiratory infections – many cases of TB as well as obstetric problems. Now that I am in Thailand, on the other side of the border, the cases from Burma that I treat are mainly the same (malaria accounts for about 20% of our cases) but we see more cases of child malnutrition, violence - including domestic violence, and young women with unplanned pregnancies. Unplanned pregnancies are rising and are a major health issue faced by female migrant workers, partly because of a lack of community structure and broken families. Many women come to the clinic for antenatal care after delivering babies at home, often with traditional birth attendants. It is only when obstetrical problems arise that many mothers come to the clinic. As such, many women have their babies here without ever having visited the clinic beforehand. A large and growing problem resulting from unplanned pregnancies are subsequent unsafe abortions, often performed by traditional birth attendants. Indeed, unsafe abortion is the biggest problem for women from Burma based in Thailand. Childbirth complications are also a problem but women often can access the Thai health system if they need help during delivery. Childbirth inside Burma is often more difficult as many women suffer from malaria and anaemia in addition to the effects of repeated childbirth. According to our survey, 89% of deliveries are at home by traditional birth attendants, with a further 6% delivering during evacuation in the jungle (fleeing from the military or during forced relocation) without any care. In obstetric emergencies, women cannot get such help as blood transfusions and oxygen, and many die as a result. Reproductive health and HIV/AIDS is a growing problem that we are addressing through education and counselling. Through our blood transfusion program - every month we need 50 to 100 units of blood - we are training people as peer educators and counsellors, both pre- and post-test. In Mae Sot we also receive patients suffering from the results of violence, war and road casualties. In Burma, many people have to do forced labour, others are forced to be military porters. In these situations, we sometimes see injuries, some as a result of beatings. Another serious issue is mental health. There are many strains upon people from Burma, including displacement and threat of arrest and deportation while in Thailand. Many migrant workers labor in low paid, unsafe jobs, and sometimes suffer from overwork and lack of sleep. We do have a counseling service but it does not separate the issues – it is integrated within existing services, such as reproductive health education. We are finding more and more people from villages in Burma come to work in Mae Sot because of the economic situation inside – it is getting worse and worse. Generally, many people, many children, are struggling for their own survival, even their daily food. Food security is the biggest problem for IDPs (internally displaced persons), resulting in malnutrition and Vitamin A and iron deficiencies. Frequent displacement (by the military) affects all aspects of IDPs’ health - water, sanitation, physical and mental security. The situation is worsened by the lack of public healthcare - a problem in most rural areas throughout Burma. People therefore risk coming across the border to Thailand, just to get medical treatment. Accessibility to our clinic is affected by security issues inside Burma and along the border, the risk of arrest and deportation once in Thailand and not having enough money for transport. Furthermore, many people from Burma in Thailand are not recognized as refugees so they usually have no chance of receiving health care. There are so many IDPs facing so many health threats, and most cannot cross the border to get our help. If they cannot come to us, we have to go to them. We have 60 teams - ‘backpack teams’ - of 3 or 4 workers, each targeting populations of 2,000. We started this programme in 1998 and have teams in Karenni, Mon and Karen areas. We provide treatment of common illnesses and injuries along with health education. Another program is to train traditional birth attendants and provide supplies. In the future we will set up more programs for obstetric emergencies. Every 6 months ‘backpack’ supervisors return to Mae Sot and share their experiences, knowledge and skills and monitor supplies. We train team members at the clinic along with other trainees who will later work at the clinic or non-governmental organizations. Each year we train about 40-60 health workers from different ethnic health departments or other individuals. Some are from NGOs; some are from inside Burma. Our ‘backpack teams’ work under great risk. Arrest is a real threat and some of our workers have already died during evacuations (during military attack) or from landmines. In 4 years we have lost 5 workers. Although the military authorities are asking for international aid for health issues, foreign money is not the main consideration.16 There is a need to change fundamental domestic health policies because many people still cannot access basic health care. The health situation must be regularly monitored and there must be a commitment to improving the quality of care provided by the health system. Transportation needs to be improved so that people can travel safely and quickly to give or receive health care. Services need to be more culturally and socially appropriate. This means that health services should reach all peripheral villages and there must be an appropriate system to recruit health workers. Under the current system, most people selected to become health workers are from the city. In my village, the doctor was from Rangoon and so he only provided medical care 5 or 6 days every 3 months. The health workers should be selected from the areas they will work in so that they are more committed and more sensitive to local conditions, customs and local languages. Health and medical workers do not get enough support from the government. Not only are technology and supplies insufficient but many government health workers struggle to

16 The military regime in Burma has far from prioritized health. The proportion of domestic health expenditure compared to military expenditure has declined over the years. Since 1988/89, when spending was 4.71% of GDP, spending decreased to 0.14% of GDP in 1998/00 – only 0.001 US cent per head. Even in the face of the HIV/AIDS crisis, the military committed itself to purchasing 10 fighter jets from Russia in early 2001. survive. This explains the high turnover among health workers and why many open private clinics. Health programs inside Burma must be comprehensive. It is not simply a matter of focusing on the curative, the entire community must be involved so that healthcare is responsive to needs. International funding alone therefore will not solve the health care problem in Burma. We need to find a common goal and vision so that we can plan the development of a strong and appropriate health system that can be accessed by all. Training is particularly important because during the training period people can say what they want and need. Through training and working together we can continually learn from each other. Since we have been working with the backpack programme and the Burma Medical Association and National Health and Education Committee were created, the people of Burma are trying to find a common vision on health, but this will take time. Even when the political situation in Burma changes, the very vulnerable and underprivileged groups in Thailand and along the border will still have serious needs. While everybody hopes to go back to Burma, there will continue to be necessary and urgent work beyond the borders. The Thai-Burmese border, 2002

Dr Cynthia Maung is a Karen woman. She opened the Mae Tao clinic in 1989 with only a small outpatient’s section. In 2002, the clinic had 60 beds, and patient facilities have increased. Services include reproductive health, child health, minor surgery, a prosthetic workshop and an eye clinic. Dr Cynthia has received international recognition for her work including the Jonathan Mann Award for Global Health and Human Rights, the John Humphrey Freedom Award, and the Female Human Rights Special Award

Sharing Feelings by Mya Khwa Nyo I was born in a small town and was the only child of parents who were ordinary farmers. Although we were not rich, we were able to survive comfortably. We didn’t have to worry too much. I started school when I reached the age of six. When I was young I would help father cultivate his land and mother stayed home, cooked for us and took care of our household. I was so happy at that time. I did not even really hang out with my friends. All I wanted was be with was my parents and our little piece of land. But I have a weakness, which was not daring to make decisions. I was so scared and always down-hearted and I felt so frustrated with myself because of this. I was conceived when my parents were well into old age. So they were ageing when I was growing up. Father passed away while I was in grade ten. For mother and me, life became a living hell. I had never imagined I would have to grow up without my father and we didn’t know what to do, we had relied heavily on him. Life was pretty hard without any savings. I could afford to go to school only while father was alive. Mother did not know how to earn money because she was always in the kitchen and taking care of us. I had to do something, because I did not want mother to work. She was old, so I let her stay home and cook for us. I borrowed some money from one of my friends and sold boiled garden peas in the streets. However by the time I returned home I had not made much money. I could buy rice and cooking oil for cooking. Once I arrived home I gave them to mother, took a shower and fell asleep because I was so tired. I had never worked like this before. About a year later, I met a man called Ko Maung Maung. I believed he possessed so much potential and good qualities. After all, he was a graduate and also handsome. At that time I was so tired of struggling for our survival and felt so alone. It was not very nice and safe for a girl, so I had to be really careful. The boys in our town were not so nice. The more dangerous ones would become soldiers in the Burmese army. All of the girls in the town did not dare to say anything back to the soldiers when they said things in an insinuating manner. We would be in big trouble if we said something. For all these reasons, I was so happy to have a partner like Ko Maung Maung who seemed to be gentle, friendly and had good manners. And I thought it was not wrong to be loved by him too. So I expected that one day he would say something that I wanted to hear. One day my dream came true and I accepted at once when he proposed to me. Actually, I was in love with him so much. Three weeks after we became lovers, he requested my mother’s permission to marry me and we got married quite quickly. What we did not know at the time was one day this charming prince would cause so much misery and trouble for us. At the beginning of our marriage, we were so happy and I thought I was so lucky that I could be with a man whom I loved dearly. I did not have to work. While he went to work, my mother and I stayed home in comfort. He even said that he did not want me selling boiled garden peas on the roads and streets. I was so pleased to know that he cared about me this much. So I turned fully to my duties as a wife. However as time went by, he changed bit by bit and showed his dissatisfaction towards me. He completely changed. He did not go to work and always got drunk and gambled with his friends. When I asked him about it, he only answered that he was not very happy. I tried to reassure myself that he did all of this because he was not happy and exhausted by his work. But I couldn’t console myself over my knowledge that he had been going out with someone else. I loved him so much and he knew that too. Although I was not very happy about this, I did not dare talk to him about it. I could not even imagine him leaving me and not loving me any more. One day, he asked me to work again. At first, I was surprised that but thought that he might be having some difficulties. “Are you having any problems?” I asked. He replied with his sad face, “I am having some problems at work.” So I told him that within two or three days I would get back to work as street vendor. I did what he asked me to do because I loved him so dearly. Later I was saddened by his treatment of me. He did not treat me like his wife any more, but like a slave of his own. It is so sad to know that men who are spoiled can belittle us when we indulge them with our true love. Later, he seemed to get worse. Getting drunk all the time and never staying at home with us. When he came home he complained and found fault with me. I was hurt not because he was drunk and gambled but he was going out with all these girls. All I could do was hate these girls because I did not dare to tell him to stop. I did not want to tell mother about this either. I was also afraid our neighbors might show disrespect to him when they learnt about this. So I took my pillow as my best companion and I just cried and cried for many nights. I felt better after I cried. Anyway I thought the neighbors probably knew about this already. But I would not let them know that I knew and I did not like it when people gossiped about him. So it was definitely out of question for me to talk to anyone. Mother was very sad to see me working hard to provide for our family survival when I was pregnant with my first son. I had to work hard but I had no choice, because I had to provide money for his addiction to alcohol and gambling. Mother and I had to spend money very carefully to satisfy his needs and we did not even have enough food to eat. So, one day I ventured out and asked him to drink less and gamble less for our child who was about to be born. I politely requested he start work again so that we would be able to save some money for our son. He angrily said, “Hey, you contemptuous woman. How dare you talk to me that way? You have to do what I tell you to do because I am the head of this household. Never ever dare to talk to me like this.” I was so afraid to see his anger and tried to calm him. “I didn’t mean to disrespect you. I am just saying this for the sake of our child.” I said. But he became more angry and started to beat me up. He slapped my face, kicked me and punched me so hard that I could not bear to take any more. So I begged, “Please, please, stop. I won’t say anything anymore if you don’t like it. It is really hurting. Please stop for the sake of our child in my belly. I beg of you. Please stop.” He was so cruel although he knew that I was due to give birth to our first child. I tried to scream to get my neighbor’s aid, but I finally realized I could not rely on anyone else. Mother was afraid of my husband and did not utter a word. After he had beaten me as vigorously as he pleased, he left us behind and headed for the alcohol shop. But before he left he threatened me saying, “What you must learn in your life is you can never talk to me this way. You understand?” Only after he left us mother dared to come out and made turmeric paste to help heal my bruises. “My little daughter, you are very unlucky. Is this really painful?” She was shaking and crying. She had never seen anything like this before in her life and I had to comfort her. “Don’t be so sad, mother. It is because of my Karma that I have to bear this burden. I am repaying right now and one day everything will be alright.” I was saying this not only to comfort her but myself too. It was after midnight when he came home so badly drunk that he could not even get into the house. I forgot all my pain and helped him get to bed. Why couldn’t I be stronger? Although I was afraid and so disappointed with him, I was not strong enough to decide anything. After this incident I did not venture out of our house for a week. I just borrowed some money and survived with that. I started to go out to work again only after I got better from this traumatic incident. All day I worked really hard and came home and cooked for all of us. I did not even have time to rest or feel sorry for myself. Mother could no longer assist me with anything. She felt so horrible for me and because of it she got very sick. I could only feel sorry for her when she was sick but was unable to tend to her. I had to work even harder to cover all of our expenses and could not spare any of my time for her. I didn’t have enough money to send her to the doctor and it was out of question to go to the hospital. To do that we needed hundreds of thousands of kyat and we would have to buy everything ourselves from medicine to cotton wool. I just couldn’t afford it. So I simply did not even dare to dream of sending her to hospital. My mother passed away not long after that and I thought I would run amok from my troublesome life. A day after mother died, I gave birth to my first son. Without enough money I had to rely heavily on the local midwife in our town. With all the stress and poor nutrition, we battled to give birth to my son alive. Luckily we both were fine. Even at this very hard time, my husband never failed to get drunk. By now I was not dejected by his lack of compassion towards us. I was confident that I could raise my son on my own without his help. Soon I went straight back to business as usual to ensure our daily survival and to pay back all the debts. I got bored with selling boiled garden peas so I looked for another job. My friends helped me to find a job and luckily I was employed as a primary school teacher in a village. I had always wanted to be a teacher. My husband knew of all these changes and did not utter a word. Of course, he would not because he would get money for his addictions and did not have to worry about survival either. Actually I got this job quite easily because the school headmaster knew all about me and sympathized with me. I could not thank him enough for that and I prayed for him everyday to be in good health. I became a popular teacher at school and gained respect from students’ parents for my patience, my skill in teaching and my good intentions for all of the students. At first there were no problems at home. But as I gained more respect in our small town, things seemed to change. When people in our town started to call my husband “teacher’s husband”, he burst out with anger. He could not accept the fact that he was the one who had graduated and I had only a grade ten education, but I was gaining respect for my teaching skills. He was increasingly hostile towards me and easily found fault with me. Although I tried to cope with the situation he kept doing nasty things and shouting loudly about how I was so bad, until our neighbors could hear. I knew he did this deliberately to embarrass me. What I could not understand was how he could not appreciate and be proud of my work, as I was his wife gaining all this respect. At last I stopped trying to explain to him. I thought all they (the men) want is submissive wives who do everything they ask and do not dispute anything with them. They consider women should only be their housewives or slaves for ever. They cannot be magnanimous if we are more clever than them, perform equally at work or even better than some men. This unwillingness to accept such facts is not only in the minds of “men folk” but is still thriving and accepted in some progressive societies. What makes matters worse is there are so many of our own women who still think men are better than us. Anyway, I do not mean that all men are the same. I just want to mention some of the men who are around. Sometimes, I wonder why can’t they be more open-minded on this matter if they really are as noble and macho as they always claim. If not their claim is in doubt. Meanwhile, I gave birth to my second son. My husband had not changed, even though he was now the father of two. I still had to put up with his vile behavior. I was afraid that society would not be understanding if I had said or done something about this situation. Our society has so much tolerance for men’s bad behavior, but not for women. If a woman makes a mistake, her whole life will be ridiculed for it. The other reason is my own weakness, I did not dare take any decisive action to escape. I was not sure I would be able to survive on my own with my two little sons. One day, whether it was luck or not, my husband saw one of my colleagues and I having a conversation at school, and he made big deal out of it. For me I found that this incident gave me more strength to face him bravely. In the evening of that day, he accused me of having an affair with my colleague as I expected. “You and your man were having quite a good time together. Weren’t you? You can’t lie to me about that because I saw you both with my own eyes.” he accused. Then he violently beat me up while he was shouting and yelling. I was hurt by this untrue accusation and was so humiliated by what he said. I looked at him with all my hatred because he was testing and insulting my dignity. I felt so sorry for him too, because by this time I was brave enough to get a divorce from him. He threatened me with divorce without realizing my courage. He thought I would not be able to separate from him. When I finally accepted his offer to separate he was shocked with disbelief. Although I felt so sorry for him, I felt no regret. I had already decided to escape from this horrible trap of domestic violence, lack of respect and unhappy marriage. I also felt pity for myself and my two sons. I feared that they might inherit their father’s irresponsibility and bad manner. At last I was as free as a bird out of a cage when we finally signed the divorce papers. Some people in our town said nasty things and gossiped about me. Some men even tried to be disrespectful to me because now I was a divorcee. But I ignored them and believed they would not able to go on like this forever. All I cared for now was my sons’ better future. I did not want them to be like their father. I wanted them to be respectful and understanding towards women as human beings. The other thought in my mind now was to help and support other women who faced the same problems I had. I did not feel so down-hearted any more and did not regret what I did. Anyway, I think we should feel regret only when we make mistakes. One year later, I left for a liberated area with a friend who explained that there are many groups for women which are actively working for the improvement of women’s welfare and empowerment. As I was already interested in working with women’s issues, I packed up and followed her at once. There I became a member of a women’s organization and am now able to work for women. I wrote this article for my fellow women who are in the same position as I was, to give encouragement to women to make the right decision. I wrote this not because I hate men, just because I want all of us, women and men alike, to treat and help each other out with respect and equality, as we all are just human beings. What we must know is we cannot stay alone but we need all men and women to build a better world. If we have unity among us we can quickly build up our progressive nation together. That is why, all our friends must work together, holding onto our beliefs as we work towards our common goal. The Thai-Burmese border, 2000

Mya Khwa Nyo was born in 1981 in Mon State, of an ethnic Mon father and an ethnic Poe Karen mother. She was raised on the Thai-Burmese border in a rebel camp, where she received seven years’ schooling. Since this story was first published, Mya Khwa Nyo has trained with several organizations in the Philippines, Thailand and the USA. She currently runs a programme against domestic violence on the Thai-Burmese border. UNTIL THE LAST COW by Jamila as told to Chris Lewa The Rohingya community in Burma is oppressed by the SPDC. They are stateless, as the military junta deprives them from the right of citizenship. Their freedom of movement is highly restricted. They are subjected to forced labour, arbitrary confiscation of their land, religious persecution and constant humiliation. The disenfranchisement is part of a divide and rule policy aimed at fostering hatred between the Rohingya and the Rakhaing, which allows the regime to consolidate its hold over the Rakhaing. Thus the Rohingya are caught, without rights, between two countries – dismissed as “illegal immigrants from Bangladesh” in Burma, and as “Barmaiya” (Burmese) when they seek refuge in Bangladesh. Rohingya women are even more vulnerable due to their subordinate status within their own community. Their level of socio-economic participation is almost non-existent, and the majority of them are illiterate. They are exposed to rape and sexual assault by military personnel, and at risk of being trafficked. But Rohingya women are struggling. They are struggling for survival, for their children, for their family and for an uncertain future. Their voices are muffled, but when they can grasp the opportunity, they are very open and speak out. Jamila is one of these women who never give up and keep a ray of hope in their heart. Her story is not particularly dramatic. She simply described the experiences of thousands of other Rohingya women. She risked the wrath of her husband to come and tell her story. When she was introduced to me, she wore a dupatta over her head and hid her mouth with the cloth. As she started talking, she uncovered the lower part of her face, and after a few minutes, the dupatta slipped down from her head. She still looks young and dynamic. Here is her story narrated in her own words: Last night, your messenger came to see me in my house. He told me that you wish to record a woman’s story, and he offered to bring me to your hotel. I knew that my husband would probably never allow this. But I really wanted to come. I really wanted to speak out and tell you about my life experiences. I did not know how to request this to my husband. So I had to find a trick. This morning, I told him that I needed to go out and help my cousin to search for a wife. Here I am! My name is Jamila. I am a Rohingya woman. I must be about 45 years old, or maybe 42. I don’t know exactly my age. I am married and I am the mother of 3 daughters and 2 sons. My eldest daughter is already married now. I am from Merulla [Myinn Hlut] in South Maungdaw. Now, I am living with my husband and children in Gunarpara slum of Cox’s Bazaar. I arrived here about 9 months ago. My husband already left for Bangladesh years ago. He fled after the refugee crisis, actually after the repatriation had already started, because he could not get access to the refugee camps. I decided to stay but in the end I was forced to leave Burma too and joined him here, because I was going to starve with my children. Ten years ago, things were very different. Everything was cheap. But over the last two or three years, prices of food rose dramatically. 1 Kg. of chilli is now 500 kyat, 1 Kg. of salt 25 to 30 kyat, 1 Kg. of rice is 100 kyat. Traditionally, you can buy the cheapest rice in our area. But when I left, I could not even afford rice anymore. Moreover, I have a young son and they were recruiting him as a coolie [forced laborer]. So, I felt no longer safe, and I decided to flee. My eldest son was born in 1982 and my youngest daughter is now ten and a half years old. She was only 6 months old when her father left. My husband left Burma because he had a quarrel with the seingoung [leader of a cluster of houses who collects taxes and laborers and reports to the Village Tract PDC Chairman]. There was a shrimp farm belonging to the army. One night, it was raining and the seingoung called my husband to follow him in order to go and protect the embankment of the shrimp farm. He had fever and he refused to go. Then the seingoung entered our house and beat him. He felt very insulted and hit him back. The same night, the military sent another man to take my husband to the shrimp farm and to force him to work. He worked for the whole night and the next day, he was arrested, beaten severely, and he had to pay a fine of 3,000 kyat to be released. After this, he decided to leave the country and he asked me to go along with him. But I refused, because we had 12 cows, 12 kani [about 5 acres] of land, and a stock of red chilli as well as some rice. I could not just sell everything, so I decided to stay. At that time, I had gold jewelry, cattle and land. So I never felt vulnerable. But five years later, suddenly, the authorities confiscated nearly all my land for the Maghs [Rakhaing]. Not only me, lots of people lost their land. First they evicted one village, my grandfather’s village, which is located about 4 miles from my house. They ordered the villagers to dismantle their houses and build new houses for the Maghs. Our people were forced to do everything and we even had to collect firewood for the newcomers. At that time, my eldest son was about 12, and he was forced to work everyday to collect bamboo in the hills and to build these houses. Sometimes he refused to go and they ordered me to go instead of him. I remember that I avoided this by paying taxes, 500 kyat or so, and buying things for them. Then, after completing the houses, they confiscated our land in order to give land to those new settlers. I was only left with 1 ½ kani where my house was standing. I could still cultivate some paddy but not enough. After I lost my land, I started selling my cows, gradually, one by one. Two years after my husband fled, I received the news that he got married and his new wife was a distant cousin of mine. But 6 months later, I learnt that they were no longer together. My cousin, his second wife, was a refugee who fled in 1992. My husband went to the camp, married her there and took her to Cox’s Bazaar where they settled for a while. One day, she went to the refugee camp to visit her parents. When my husband went to pick her up in the camp, she had disappeared. He found out that an agent had taken her to Pakistan. Later on, my husband re-married. His third wife was a Rohingya woman who had been married and was divorced. She had one son and a house in Cox’s Bazaar, and they lived there. After I arrived here, my husband came back to live with me. He still visits her and she often visits us too in order to see him. But I am the first wife. As far as I am concerned, this is OK with me, because he is taking care of me here. I am not angry with him. I never complained that he did not send me any money during the time I stayed in our village, because he left me with all our properties. And, when I lost everything and arrived here, he did not reject me. After losing my land, I still had rice in my store. I lived through the monsoon with that rice. Then I faced the first shortage of food. So, I sold one cow for 7,000 kyat to a trader from Maungdaw. From this, I had to pay 500 kyat to the NaSaKa [army] to obtain the permission for selling it plus 200 kyat to the Village Chairman. I survived about 5 months with that amount, then I had to sell my second cow. I sold it to my neighbor and I only got 5,000 kyat because this one was not as well fed as the first one. I also had to pay 500 kyat to the NaSaKa and 200 kyat to the Chairman. This money only lasted for 3 months, and I had to sell the next one. One of my cows even died. At the same time, I pawned my gold ornaments, piece by piece, each time I needed small amounts of money. Like this, one by one, I sold all my cows. During this period, my eldest son got a job as a farm laborer and he was paid 30 baskets of rice for a whole year. The next year, the owner, who is a good and rich Muslim man, gave him 45 baskets. This helped me a bit. I had one mouth less to feed and he was bringing in his earnings. Some women received money from NGOs but not me, because everybody knew that my husband was in Bangladesh. However, I did receive seeds and fruit tree saplings. Only one fruit plant survived, and all the others died. Only six times, I received some food relief from an NGO, but the bags of rice were not full. The distributor stole a portion of the rice. After this, I did not receive more rice, because my youngest son went to work under the “Food for Work” program. My daughter also worked for them and she had to clear the jungle. Unfortunately, the white men could not pay us directly and I never got a chance to speak to them. They employed middlemen, both Maghs and Muslims, and these men stole our children’s wages! There is a rice store in Merulla [Myinn Hlut] located just beside the NaSaKa camp. When the white men were there, they distributed the rice properly, but as soon as they left, they helped themselves. But we could not complain to anyone, whether foreigners or local leaders, or we would be hanged upside down! I have seen so many cases of torture. When one of my neighbors complained about something, he was beaten and hanged. Once, they ordered my youngest son to carry a big oil-drum. He was 12 or 13 at that time. It was too heavy for him. They pushed him and he fell down. This happened right in front of me. A branch from a tree injured his foot. They just left him there and I took him to a traditional doctor who treats people secretly. There is no health clinic in my village and only the NaSaKa doctor is allowed to give treatment. Our village doctor stitched his foot but he could not walk for two months. Even today he can walk, but not properly. Finally, I sold my last cow, just before I left. I sold my household goods too, and altogether I collected 14,000 kyat. The Village Secretary realized that I was leaving. So I asked my mother and brother to go and give him 2,500 kyat in order to keep quiet. He advised us not to apply for a travel pass and to avoid the NaSaKa camps. He said he would keep his eyes closed. After our departure, the NaSaKa interrogated my brother, who explained that we fled because we were starving. The Secretary supported him, because he had received money from us. I had left my house to my brother’s care, but I heard that soon after we were gone, the NaSaKa and the Village Secretary dismantled it and took all the wooden poles and boards. The night after I sold my last cow, I started walking with my children. I had only 14,000 kyat with me. We had no luggage, except for a few clothes. We started in the very early morning to avoid the NaSaKa. We avoided the roads and walked across the paddy fields. I had never traveled before, but my son had and he knew the way as he often visited Maungdaw. We reached Aley Than Kyaw and I found a jeep carrying vegetables that agreed to take the five of us to Maungdaw. I paid 1,000 kyat to the driver. I had no travel pass and he knew that, so he avoided the checkpoints. In Maungdaw, nobody asked me anything, because I looked like an ordinary woman accompanied by her children. It was already evening and we stayed in one of our relatives’ house very secretly. The next night, at 10 P.M., my relative arranged a small boat for us, and we crossed the Naf River somewhere north of Maungdaw. I had to pay 2,500 kyat to the boat driver to bring us to the Bangladesh side. I have never been in Bangladesh before. In Teknaf, a local village security group called BDP demanded 3,000 kyat from me. The boatman took us to a Rohingya house, and we slept there. I had 6,000 kyat left then, and I asked the house owner to exchange them into Bangladeshi Taka. He gave us food and arranged our bus tickets to Cox’s Bazaar. In the end, he only gave me 100 Taka in cash. I had kept contact with my husband and so I knew where to find him in Cox’s Bazaar. During the first few months after I arrived in Bangladesh, I felt as if I was suffocating here, all of us living in such a small room without even a courtyard. I also have to fetch water down the hill. In Arakan, we have problems, but we have space. Now I am used to it. My husband makes thatch roofs here to earn a living. I don’t work here, because my husband does not allow it. Even my husband would not allow me to come here, but I felt I had to come. Every week someone is leaving my village. I met one man who just arrived three days ago. He fled because of forced labor. Three months ago, my sister-in-law came here to visit my husband. When she returned, she had to pay 145,000 kyat. She had left with a proper travel pass to go to Maungdaw but the authorities found out that she had visited Bangladesh. She paid this amount, but had to sell everything for that purpose. She will flee very soon, because she has nothing left now. Being a woman in Arakan is not easy, especially when you are alone with your children, like me. I felt harassed sometimes, but I am strong. The Village Secretary to whom I gave the 2,500 kyat tried to approach me three years ago. I rejected all his advances. When he realized that he had failed, he sent the NaSaKa to my house. Luckily, my brother realized that something was wrong and advised me not to stay home that night. Two NaSaKa men arrived that night, but could not find me. Later, they burnt my brother’s house. I know that the Village Secretary was behind this. In Arakan, the authorities sexually harassed girls, but I feel even worse when they abused young boys. They sexually abused boys in the broad daylight, while they do this to the girls at night. There are two types of girls. Some refused to go with them, but then they are raped and have to flee. Other girls found no other way than giving themselves up. They stayed in the village, and it is their job now. I know very well what happened to the wife of my cousin four years ago. Her husband was a businessman dealing in Bangladesh. One day, he defaulted with the NaSaKa and did not return to Burma. His wife was beautiful and the mother of 2 children. She was living alone and the NaSaKa from Inn Din called her to their camp. They abused her for four months. She became pregnant and had to have an abortion. She finally fled the country with her two sons and came here. Her husband felt terribly guilty when he learned how she had been raped, but he accepted her back with him. One of my daughters got married when she was 13. Then she divorced and she came with us to Bangladesh. She is 18 years old now. She was too young when she got married and she did not like her husband. A young man of our village, aged about 22 or 23, was always harassing my daughter and one day he kidnapped her. I went to inform the NaSaKa together with my brother. The NaSaKa arrested him the next day. He had abducted my daughter and kept her in his uncle’s house. They detained him in their camp for four months. My daughter was also taken to their camp, but they did not keep her there and returned her to me. Everyday, he had to do labor as a punishment. After four months, the NaSaKa asked him to pay 25,000 kyat for his release and for permission to marry my daughter. Since he really wanted to marry her, he paid this amount to NaSaKa to increase her age on the wedding documents. So, my daughter got married to him. I actually did not like her to marry this young man, but I agreed because I felt that, after being abducted, she would no longer be able to find a husband for the rest of her life. But she was not happy with him and after a short time, she ran away from his house. When she left him, he tried to restrain her. She was crying so much and he kept beating her. Here, in Bangladesh, she chose a new husband. She remarried here two months ago. The man is a Rohingya who is a bit educated. He studied up to 7th standard. He doesn’t have a job, but I like him. He is staying with us at the moment, but he came here in order to go to Saudi Arabia. I have never been to school. Most of my children did not go to school. My youngest son is in 4th Standard. He is the only one who can write Burmese. The others went to a madrassah (Muslim school) and learnt Arabic. I had a problem because their father was not around. So I wanted them to learn about religion. But my youngest son was so bright, that I decided to put him in school. Now, my youngest daughter is going to school in Bangladesh. In Bangladesh, I feel much freer than in Burma. I also have to hear some insults from the local people but we are used to that! It usually happens when there is an argument between neighbors and between our children. At that moment, I feel very inferior. Women here are much more aggressive than men. I can’t think about the future, not even about tomorrow. But there is always a light in my heart. If something changes in Burma, our situation will be better. Then, I would rather go back. I hope that a time will come again as it was before my marriage. A time when there is no forced labor, no “taxes”… A time when we can move and travel anywhere we like... A time when our chickens can hop and run freely around our house... A time when our cows can graze as they please in the fields... I remember my grandmother telling me tales at night, and then I could sleep without fear. Nobody would call our men in the night for sentry duty. I hope there will be a time when we can again sleep peacefully in my country! Otherwise, I shall stay here, even if they kick me or they call me “Barmayia”! Otherwise, I have no choice and I must stay here!

“Jamila” is an alias. Her name was changed to protect her safety and privacy. Chris Lewa is a researcher with Forum-Asia, documenting the human rights situation in Arakan State, Burma. THE VOICES OF WOMEN IN OUR STRUGGLE by Daw Hla Hla Moe Among the many events of my life, the one that is the most painful to recall are the events of the 7th of July, 1962. At the time, I was studying for a second year in preparation for a university degree. It was a Saturday, so we only had a half day of classes. When I was returning to my student hostel, I noticed a number of students gathering around the Student Union building and I learned that there was an important meeting scheduled for one o’clock. At about 2:30 p.m., sounds of gunfire were heard throughout the area. We learnt that Tatmadaw1 soldiers had opened fire on students as they were returning from their meeting. In Mala hostel, where I lived, we also found out that a number of the men’s hostels, such as Taung Ngu, Yamangiah, Ahmayah, Shuayboo, Pegu and so on, had also been fired at with machineguns. As evening drew near, the silence although overwhelming, was filled with the memories made that afternoon -- of the students who were shot dead and the students who were taken away by the military. Most of these students were from Rangoon Arts and Science University. As my cousin was fleeing from the site, a wounded roommate died in his arms. To this day, he has never been back to the university and has studied no further. Another dear friend suffered from a severe head injury. She was attempting to retreat from the Union building site when she tried to grab the gun of a soldier who was firing at the students. The soldier shoved her, brutally away. When classes reopened ten months later we found out that our friend died from her injuries. At about four o’clock the following morning, the 8th of July, our historic Student Union building was demolished and destroyed. The explosion was felt not only inside the university compound, but also throughout the entire city of Rangoon. We learnt later that some students who had been attempting to hide in the Union building were killed along with the explosion. These are the most heartwrenching events that I have ever witnessed in my life. In Burma, present political, economic, educational, health and social conditions are deplorable. We cannot find a way of advancing our situation by military means; we can only achieve advances in our situation through political means. Only when we can speak freely, publish freely, practise our religion with freedom and dignity; only then will we experience a true democracy. In a true democracy, political power rests with the people. Representatives, elected in free and fair elections, can then be mandated to look after the country’s affairs. A single organisation, a single group or a single person cannot just manage the country according to their own whims and desires. I believe, that the NLD and our national leaders, along with other people, will resolve my country’s problems soon. My political experiences in my country have been many. I recall, however, that candidates taking part in the May 27th, 1990 general election were forced to deposit 10,000 kyats in public-owned banks and in the leadup to polling day candidates had to cover their own campaign expenses. There was no financial help provided from the Burmese Socialist Programme Party2 (BSPP) and candidates had to struggle to provide their own food and travel expenses. While the BSPP party were undertaking their campaigns using flashy Mazda jeeps and bands, our NLD party members had to sometimes hike 14 miles on foot in the heat of summer. Noone felt disheartened though! If we wished to campaign in certain villages and towns, we were forced to submit the name of the village, and the number of persons who would be participating in the Township Law and Order Restoration Council. We were never allowed to make political speeches inside religious buildings or schools. In some villages, we had to use open fields in which to speak to the people. There could never be more than 50 persons in a campaign and we were never allowed to speak with the freedom we desired. A lot of Burmese who wished for a democracy system in Burma, did not even dare to attend our rallies and meetings. Often, as we made our way back to our homes, people would whisper as we passed from the roadside, ‘the NLD is led by the daughter of our leader and the father of freedom, General Aung San. We will vote only for the NLD’. In the 27 May 1990 elections many methods were used to confuse people in the voting process. Voters were asked to place a cross beside the name of the party that they wished to elect, even though a tick had been commonly used during the BSPP era. People who ticked a candidate did not have their votes counted. Despite all of these things, the NLD was enormously supported by the people of Burma. We won 392 seats out of a total of 485 seats. The most unbelievable thing was that even in army areas, the NLD was enormously supported. But after the elections were over, some MP’s were sentenced and disqualified. They were accused of cheating their accounts, even though accounts were already rigorously checked and re-checked in each township. These are just some of my political experiences. I’ve been a high school teacher since the age of 22 for exactly 22 years. During the 1988 people’s uprising, I served as the head of a Township Education Union. I was later elected as an NLD representative for Minhla Township. I tried my best to speak, listen and look for those people whose eyes and ears and mouths were forced shut. I tried to contribute something towards attaining democracy and human rights in Burma. In Burma, both men and women, sometimes even pregnant women, are being forced to provide labour to the authorities and to act as porters for the army. Members of the NLD are also being singled out. I myself was arrested, under section 5E of the Emergency Provisions Act; twice in 1996 and once in 1997. Although most Burmese people know the truth about our country, many are unable to face the powers of our central administration and the sheer force of the military. Most of the women whom I admire have taken part in politics and gone on to become prominent national figures. Such women include Ms. Golda Meir from Israel, Indira Gandhi from India, Benazir Bhutto from Pakistan, Chandrika Kumaratunga from Sri Lanka, former Philippines President, Corazon Aquino and Ms. Eva Peron from Argentina. In Burma, women have been able to take important roles in politics since ancient times and Burma has a history of a few widely respected queens. Every Burmese person will know the story of the 1825 Watthikan battle, that saw five British army officers and many soldiers die at the hands of only three Shan women. We are always taught of Di Dout U Bah Chu’s wife, Daw Hla May3 and the wonderful women who led the Konmari groups during 1900-1942 colonial period. And about the Tharawaddy4 newspaper editor, Daw Phua Shin, and the Independent newspaper editor, Daw San, who fought against the colonialists. And about Daw Hnin Mya5 , the first Burmese woman to be a Member of Parliament, and about Thakin Ma Ma Aye and Thakin Ma Daw Say who led the Yenanmay6 revolt. And about Daw Khin Kyi, Burmese ambassador to India from 1960 to 1967, and about Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, daughter of Burmese national hero General Aung San and Daw Khin Kyi. These are just some of the voices of women in our struggle. Burma, 1998 Notes: 1 A romanisation of the Burmese term for the Armed Forces. 2 The BSPP was founded and heavily influenced by the notorious General Ne Win. 3 Daw Hla May was a founding member of the Konmari associations made famous in the colonial period. The organisation was created initially as a social welfare organisation, but the many courageous founding members politicised the organisation by involving themselves in the fight for Burmese independence against the British. 4 The name of this newspaper, The Tharawaddy, carries special symbolism for Burmese people as the name remembers Saya San, who was sentenced to death by the British administration for leading the infamous Farmers Revolt of 1931. 5 Daw Hnin Mya was an ardent supporter and advocate of democracy during U Nu’s caretaker government from 1958 until 1962. A woman political activist based in Moulemein, she enjoyed a close friendship with Prime Minister U Nu and became famous for her political ideas. 6 Thakin Ma Ma Aye and Thakin Ma Daw Say were made famous by their involvement in the oil and petroleum field revolts of 1938. Thakin Ba Swe and Thakin Ba Hein from the DohBama (“Our Burma”) Association organised workers to strike in protest of low wages and appalling working conditions. This was a significant incident in the history of Burma’s struggle for independence, as most of the oils and petroleum companies were owned by the British.

Daw Hla Hla Moe continues to be subject to arrest and harassment for her continuing efforts to fulfil her mandate as a Member of Parliament in Burma. MY LIFE AS A WOMAN SOLDIER by Nang Mo Ngern Hom I am a Shan woman from Murng Pan in the south of Shan State. Since I was young, I have witnessed the Burmese government’s oppression and abuse of the Shan people. I have wanted to free my people from such oppression and abuse. This is why I left my home and family when I was only fifteen to join the Shan revolution. While I was at school in Murng Pan, I had noticed how the teachers, who were all Burmese, were not entirely fair to the students. They did not seem interested in the Shan students and gave favours to the Burmese students. We were not taught how to read Shan, and were not even allowed to speak Shan at school. If we were caught speaking in Shan, we were fined 25 pyas. We were also not allowed to study Shan outside school hours. In the summer of 1980, about 80 children including me had gone to study Shan under the Ma-Ha-To literacy campaign with some volunteer teachers at a temple in Murng Pan. The classes had only been going on for one week when the Burmese authorities arrested the teachers. They were held in custody for two days, and all of the children including me were forced by the authorities to sign papers undertaking that we would not persist with studying Shan language. Events such as these increased my anger with the regime. After I had completed the eighth standard at school, I worked as a kindergarten teacher in Murng Pan for five months, but I did not feel satisfied working for the Burmese government. So on May 10, 1981, I left home with two other girls to join the Shan United Revolutionary Army (SURA). We joined the Kong Hai Na Morn unit, based in Murng Pan, and led by Sao Yord Serk, and Nang Than Htay, also a woman. After we had left home, the Burmese authorities interrogated our parents. They asked them why we had joined the Shan resistance, and threatened to punish them if they did not go and bring us back. Our parents replied that they loved us, and had not wanted us to leave them, but that even if they went and begged us to go home, we wouldn’t come back. They told the Burmese authorities they should go and call them back themselves, and that if they could get them back, the parents would give them whatever they wanted. So the Burmese authorities were not able to do anything. Actually, our parents had tried to call us back, but we had not agreed to go. We were quite determined to stay with the resistance. During the first three months with the army we were trained as medics. We studied basic medical care for use in the battlefield, and also for treating villagers and gaining their support. After that we traveled from village to village, and treated the local people. We then spent three months receiving basic military and political training. We received training in each of the five main areas: personnel, intelligence, operations, logistics and organising. Then we started working together with our unit and organising villagers. As well as giving health assistance to the villagers, we also helped them with work like cleaning up their villages, collecting firewood, and collecting the harvest and rice- threshing. The villagers were pleased that we helped them and wanted to support us. We were the first young women to join the SURA as soldiers, and we were able to organise many young people, both men and women, to join us. Also, some parents sent their children to live with us. I stayed with this unit for six months, then I was sent back to the headquarters at Bang Mai Soong, on the Thai border, with another 137 women, for further military and political training. My two friends, Nang Mo Som Pa and Nang Mo Khong Sai, and I were made the leaders of this group of women soldiers. We all lived together like a big family. According to our rules, we had to serve the Shan resistance for a minimum of three years before marrying. The military officer in charge of our group was Sao Murng Khon and gave us military training and emergency medical training for one year. After this, all of the wives of soldiers, except those that were pregnant or had small children, had to come and train with us for several months. At the end of the training, we had exams, and out of the 137 women trainees, only five women, including my two friends and myself, qualified to join as women officers. One woman was sent to each of the five departments. We were sent to Battalions 101 and 202 in Murng Pan, which were led by Sao Lon Mon. We traveled around from village to village. We received support, including money and rice, from the local villagers. One house paid one kwai or 8 pye 1 per year to the army. Taxes were collected to pay for our salaries. I received only 25 kyats a month, but I felt satisfied to be working for the Shan cause. The people were happy to support us. I felt the truth of the Shan saying: ‘If there were no villagers, there would be no soldiers.’ As we were working in the villages, many young people would come and join us. One Shan woman who had been raped by a Burmese soldier also came to join us. After he had raped her, he took a 79-mm mortar and shoved it inside her. I will never forget this. It made me even more resolved to carry on struggling against the Burmese military. I could not bear to hear how the Burmese soldiers were treating the Shan people, and how they were robbing us of our natural resources, like teak, and selling them to foreigners. In 1983, I worked both as a radio officer and as a guard at a sentry post. In that year, I fought in a battle at Nam Terng in Murng Pan. We forced the Burmese soldiers to retreat to the town of Murng Pan. I also fought at Khai Sabay for several days. Over 20 Burmese soldiers were killed, and three Shan soldiers died and a further five were wounded. The Burmese Army sent in reinforcements, and we were, in the end, forced to retreat. In 1983, the SURA and SSA held a meeting at Huay Zoi in order to unite. Sao Zam Mai and Sao Kam Kher of SSA met with Sao Leng Murng of SURA for five days. We then brought the SSA delegates to Bang Mai Soong and negotiations continued for a possible unification. In 1984, the SURA and the SSA united to form the Tai Revolutionary Council (TRC). In 1984, one of the five women officers, one of my two friends who had joined the army with me, died of malaria, but the remaining four of us resolved to carry on with our struggle. I was sent back to work in Bang Mai Soong as a radio operator. In the same year, the Burmese troops advanced to Murng Tor and Murng Hta, north of Bang Mai Soong, and the SURA fought them at Loi Mot Nang Leng. After that the Burmese were forced to retreat. 100 women soldiers participated in the battle. They split up into three groups. One group had to take care of the security of Sao Korn Zerng. The other two groups, one of which I was in, fought at the front line. After that battle, all the women soldiers were recalled to Bang Yang, near Bang Mai Soong, and made to work with disabled soldiers in a factory producing pearl-inlaid furniture which had been set up by the SURA. Many of my friends and I felt very dissatisfied because I wanted to work as a soldier as I had been trained, but we had to obey our orders. In 1985, the TRC joined with Khun Sa’s SUA to form the Mong Tai Army. After the MTA was formed, Khun Sa ordered that there should no longer be any women soldiers. We were told to marry, or go home or do whatever we wished. I was so angry, because I had joined the resistance to struggle for our people, and the struggle had not yet been won. Most of the other women soldiers returned home or came to Thailand to work. I did office work in Mai Soong for about four months, and then married another Shan soldier. Two years after my marriage, I began working as a teacher at Bang Kam Kor, near the Thai border opposite Piang Luang. I taught Shan and arithmetic to primary school students for five years. Then I went to stay in the village of Kiu Kor, and taught Shan and arithmetic and English to Pa-O, Lahu and Lisu villagers in a school there. In 1995, when I was still teaching, my husband, Sao Leng Pang Fa, who was an officer in the MTA, was beaten to death on the orders of Khun Sa. They had suspected him of wanting to break away from the MTA. As soon as this happened, I left the Shan territory and came to Thailand. At the end of 1995, Khun Sa led the MTA to surrender to the Burmese military regime. I have been working in Thailand for the last few years, as a housemaid, on a construction site and as a sales assistant. I still do whatever I can to help Shans who are working for the movement. It is still my hope to return and do something to help my people and free them from Burmese military rule. The Thai-Burmese border, 1998 Note: 1 One Burmese pye is the equivalent volume of 10 tins of condensed milk (approx. 110mL each). The milk tins are commonly used as a standard for measurement, in lieu of weighing scales. In August 1995, a faction of the Mong Tai Army (MTA) led by Major Kard Yord broke away to form the Shan State National Army (SSNA). In January 1996, the MTA dissolved when its leader, druglord Khun Sa, surrended to the Burmese regime at his base in Homong. Nang Mo Ngern Hom’s former commander in the Kong Hai Na Morn unit, Sao Yord Serk, took hundreds of his soldiers north and reformed the Shan United Revolutionary Army (SURA) to continue fighting the Burmese army. In 1998 the SURA changed its name to the Shan State Army-South (SSA-S). The SSA-S has women soldiers.

Nang Mo Ngern Hom continued to do odd jobs and manual labour for several months after this article was first published. In 1999, she started working for an education and health programme for Shan women refugees and migrant workers, and continues to make a difference to their lives today.

Magic Show by Chaw Aiee Marn When we were young, we would enjoy magic shows that were performed in and around crowded places like train stations or bus stops. The magician would sell his medicine, charms, and amulets with eloquent words. We would all be bewitched. For children like us, the magic shows were incredibly amazing. The magician would put a small rope in a bamboo basket and when he opened it up, the rope would have been transformed into a snake. We children would clap and clap for that trick... I had never met them before but it was very sad to see these two girls in a place like this. That day, I was in a small cell at Insein Prison, only 10 feet square. My blanket was pulled tight around me because it was pouring outside. I was quietly sitting on a wooden platform, which was infested with bugs, pondering the new century. Then – “Walk straight, walk straight.” I turned and looked in the direction that the noise was coming from, and saw a woman dragging a very heavy school bag. Next to her was a female prison warder guarding her every move. She was so small that she swayed and stumbled from the weight of the bag. She lurched into this place as her calf-length hair danced around her. That beautiful long hair made her look out of place in this cell. Then, as I gaped unselfconsciously – “Next one.” I turned to the big gate again as I heard that voice and saw a fair complexioned young woman in violet colored batik. I was not able to see either of their faces since their heads were covered with black hoods, just like when we were brought here. I noticed that they were put in two separate cells as I heard the clicking sounds of the door opening twice, after they had passed my cell. I thought, now we have more companions. Our group had been locked up for a month and eleven days already. We had been forcibly arrested for participating in the activities of our township’s NLD youth wing. I remembered my mother as I thought of the day I was arrested. I was so concerned about father who was nearly 90 years old, mother who was about to be 80 soon, and our family’s poor finances. I was so nervous on that day despite knowing I would be arrested sooner or later. However, my mother’s words gave me control of my mind. She showed no fear and no sadness in front of the authorities. She sent me off as though I was going to school and said, “My dear, do not resign from the party just because you are worried about us. You fulfil your duty. We will not go starving anyway. We have our own hands and legs. Just go and don’t worry.” Those were the decisive words that my mother uttered as though I was a knight readied for battle. My blood coursed boiling through my body and I was ready for any battle that would came before me. Although the authorities said to the whole world that they were just detaining us temporarily, in reality our condition was worse than the ones who were tried and sentenced in the prison. They fed us Talabaw17 and pea soup only. We were locked in each cell with only 15 minutes bath time and 10 minutes mainla18 time – including disposing our own toilet tray. We were not allowed to contact our family and only with the help of the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) could we send a letter to our families. Only then our families knew where we were. We got the chance to read replies from our family six months later, just a week before we were released. However, after more than 40 days, our beliefs helped us get used to this place. What about those two girls… We all were so curious about how and why these two girls were here in this prison. We tried our best to get information about them by signaling each other at mainla time. Then one day I concealed a small piece of bread in my sarong that was sneaked in for me by a young female prison warder and went to the cell of the longhaired girl. I dropped it in front of her cell and asked her name and found out that it was “XX” and she was of mixed Chinese descent. MM who took upon herself the duty to ask the other one, said “I found out that her name is YY and she is a third year university student. Both of them are from TTT. I asked her whether she got arrested under 5 (j)19 and she said no, it was 3 (j). Do you know what that means?” MM eagerly asked me with much expectation, as I was almost 10 years older than she was. I did not know what 3 (j) meant as I was not that familiar with law. “Ah, I don’t know either. We can ask again what that really means when we get the chance. The prison warders might know of their cases and we can ask them too.” When I asked a female warder who sat in front of our cells, she answered the question with her stern face saying, “They are pimps.” Oh my Lord Buddha. I could not believe it at all. Could they be pimps when they looked so simple and so placid? My instincts told me that this was impossible. We gradually found out more information about them, as we were so dissatisfied with the answer we got. The girl called XX was from the other side20 and YY was dragged into this situation without knowing why. I could not comprehend why and how these female warders were so callously saying such rude things to defame them. Was the attitude of these Burmese women, once famous for their simplicity changed under the rule of this government? Did this government train them to have the spirit to treat everyone like an enemy? Later, we got lucky, as we had to change cells. I moved closer YY’s – we were in the same group when we took our bath, so I was able to find out more about them. The story was that YY’s brother called from a foreign country and said he had sent something with somebody. He asked her to pick it up and then to give it to XX. But YY was not able to go and pick up the package and she asked her younger brother to do it for

17 Talabaw in this context is watery prison stew containing unclean vegetables “seasoned” with worms and dirt. 18 Mainla means toilet in Burmese. 19 Section 5 (j) of the 1950 Emergency Provisions Act is commonly used against anyone who “ causes or intends to disrupt the morality or the behaviour of a group of people or the general public, or to disrupt the security and stability of the Union”. 20 ‘ the other side’ refers to student activists. her. It was just a gift of baby clothes. However, all three of them were arrested because of that package. The strangest thing was that by the time the pack reached the hands of the authorities, the baby clothes had been transformed into papers with the fighting peacock logo21.That was why they were arrested and interrogated. “I swear to God, I saw only baby clothes in that pack.,” YY told me. Then I asked about 3 (j)22 and she said, “3 (j)? Ah, 3 (j) means being interrogated for 3 full nights. What about you, sis? Your case was 5 (j). Were you interrogated for 5 full nights?” My jaw dropped and I was astounded by her answer. It sounded very funny but it was no laughing matter, rather it was very sad. My heart ached. She did not even know what 5 (j) really meant and was so simple. I was so sad to see her in this kind of place in which only criminals who committed crimes should be locked up. But what about our stories? “Sis, I don’t know whether I will see my mother alive when I am released from jail. Can you please go and see my mother if you are released before me. Please tell her not to worry now that her daughter YY, knows how to face Lokadan23 and has more endurance. Just tell her to take care of her health,” said YY one day. Those words pierced my heart like spears. I tried to console her and told her James Hla Kyaw’s story of “Maung Yin Maung and Ma Mae Ma” wrongfully imprisoned for a crime they did not commit and she said, “That’s right, sis. It’s just like my story. I can take this imprisonment because I have you all here. I am so grateful that you have been so helpful to me.” I was happy and relieved at the same time that what little knowledge I had was helpful to her. Both of them were brought to court a month after they were arrested. XX’s face was red with anger when they came back but YY’s face was expressionless. We all wanted to know what happened. I asked XX at our bath “Oh, Chaw Aiee, I don’t even want to talk about it. I am so angry. We were questioned about that pack which they said were full of papers with the fighting peacock stamp, in the court. YY said it’s not going to make any difference if we say ‘no’, so she said ‘yes’. Can you believe it?” YY said, “Let it be, sis.” after XX finished speaking. I wondered how many blameless girls like her and XX were in jail right now in Burma when I watched her expressionless face and eyes. After three months, XX was sentenced to 17 years imprisonment and YY received 10 years. Both of them were sent to the main prison block. Would you all believe that all of us in this prison, detained for the same views and beliefs, love each other more than our own sisters? We could only look on helplessly. They packed up their belongings and left things that would be useful to us.

21 The fighting peacock logo is the symbol of the pro-democracy movement, and the NLD. 22 (j) in the Burmese alphabet is pronounced ‘nya’ which means ‘night.’ 23 Lokadan refers to the Buddhist teaching that gain and loss, fame and dishonour, praise and blame, happiness and suffering co-exist as facts of life. All we could give them was the promise – to continue our struggle for people who were unfairly imprisoned, for the rights of women, democracy and human rights – which, until now, have no place in our country. Our group was released just before a year was up. I could not forget the two of them and remembered their words, XX said “See you soon”. “We will meet again when we are released” said YY. I would never forget the sight of them being taken away to the main prison block. I tried to find out and read the news conference of their case. What YY and XX did not know was that when the authorities opened the pack, the baby clothes had been transformed into grenades and 50 papers with the fighting peacock stamp. I was reminded of the magic shows that we enjoyed in our childhood. But this was one magic trick that I could not applaud. Burma, 2002

Chaw Aiee Marn lives in Burma where she hopes the regime will magically disappear one day. Scent of Steel Flowers From Prison is a collection of poems by women political prisoners. Special thanks and appreciation go to the authors and those who helped smuggle their works out. Scent of Steel Flowers From Prison

Night of Lost Gifts ™ At the last night of ninety-nine Messengers of the new century With subdued laughter Sent out a gift Rhythmic heart beats Embrace with shivering Under a moon of darkness A venomous snake Interrupts A gaping moment Shot into my heart Gives birth to rebellion within

When Will Be The Day of Freedom ™ Hey, listen New century, century anew Repeating changing eras Though the evil system stays Smoke of wars Stretched out century long Machinery of our country Will be reversed in full Fuelled by proclamations Written with heart’s blood In the darkness of prison

Road Within the Noose ™ Stripped bare tins in a narrow river The ruined ship of an unskilled captain Though incompetent Luck is still on his side ™ Nightclubs forever intoxicated Hotels in mini-skirts Climb up to the sky in disarray The city survives without light Wretched and swarming flies In the room with no walkway Our imprisoned steps Remain stilled Old Lady’s Clicking Tongue ™ We suffer for the country’s sake They enjoy for the hell’s sake We will be welcomed With mother’s smile, with peoples’ applause They will be welcomed With the sobbing of Yama Min, harbinger of death ™ There will always be Sundays And their days are at the end With the sound of mother’s clicking tongue Written with our heart’s blood Encourage it With the daughters of a new era Hey … comrades Remain firm and stand.

When I Heard the Door-Knocking ™ On that very night A wild war horse of the new era Give a dozen door-knocks And galloped away Almost the whole earth celebrates With a profusion of smiles ™ We, away from Mother’s garden Sighing repeatedly from the prison’s iron bars At our rotten future Can only utter empty threats

TOMORROW ™ Sharpness of a needle a pinprick sacrifice Cruelty of the oppressor unable to dull the sparkling stars. ™ Confronted with wisdom and awareness the rocky monolith Will quake ™ Gather strength End the mourning days of ceased longing Day of celebration, day of remembrance On this golden day The sound of the young fighting peacock’s greeting will rumble in the sky My friend … listen to it.

LONGING OF FATHER TO MOTHER ™ A morning like this, many years ago Some were happy, some were crying Then then Fatherless child cannot stop worrying all these years, even today Freedom freedom Sunken while searching Struggling struggling Afflicted with blurred sight, the quest continues Thought and vision, genuine loyalty mouldering in a coffin so why search for it. ™ Traitors amongst us Try to bury us in old graveyards ™ Mother moon, moon of rescue shall shine soon in the night’s breeze I heard it today.

(to commemorate our 52nd Independence Day)

YEAR 2000 (OR) 21ST CENTURY ™ Dawn of the morning distinctly rose Fate of a thousand and poisoned blood has been washed away ™ I rise proclaiming! Standing with new vigour with eyes bright-opened ™ I wash the face of the New Century with the same old rice porridge.

Burma, 2000

Something About Mary (Ohn) as told to Ma Hla Pyi Won First of all, I am Mary Ohn. I was born in 1933 on August 22nd. My life began with an omen. It was a Tuesday, you see, and there was an eclipse of the sun on the day I was born. My father said “She will be a well known woman one day,” and I always kept that in mind. Later, the day came when my grandfather’s house was burned down for the second time by the Slorc1 , so I was fed up. I remembered my father’s words, and decided that I must dedicate myself to work for my people. After I passed 10th standard, I didn’t go to college. Instead, I joined the revolution at the end of March in 1951. I started working as a smuggler, smuggling medicine, ammunition, letters, and guns from the towns into the forest. My father was proud of me, but his health began to decline. Before he died, I asked him when we would have our Kawthoolei2 , our Karen Land. He said to me, “It is in your hands. It is your turn.” I had no knowledge, no experience. I told my father, “You know it, you started it, and now you’re dying. I can’t do it!” But my father said, “It’s in your hands. It’s your turn. You’ve got to do it. Of all my children, you must do it.” When my father died, I was very upset and didn’t want to do anything. But I could not despair for very long. My general, General Sein Mong, told me to contact General Bo Mya. I had to take a letter to General Bo Mya, and I did. He read the letter and wrote one in return. It took a long time to go from one place to another, as we had to walk. There were no boats, no cars at all, and it took 1 to 2 months travelling on foot. By the time I returned, the Burmese had raided and burned the area. I had to contact General Sein Mong in a secret place because he had had to surrender. Though General Sein Mon had surrendered, I continued my work. General Bo Mya started a new battalion, the 13th battalion, and I recruited youngsters from the delta region, Irrawaddy Division. I told the General that “13” was not a lucky number, but he said the Karen do not believe such things, so “13” it was. I was recruiter and quarter master, so I was also responsible for finding food for the battalion. I had to disguise myself and go to the villages to gather food. The battalion had 150 people, and sometimes we had no food. If we had only corn, we had to eat corn. Sometimes in the rainy season, we had only bamboo shoots. The villagers were also poor because the Burmese came and plundered them as well. The Burmese took their rice, they took everything. This is the way they treated us all our lives, and they still do this now. Our 13th Battalion stayed in Pegyuyoma for about six years. But we lacked ammunition and when the Burmese troops surrounded us, we had to come back across the Sittang River. The Burmese call it the Sitaung. We crossed over there and arrived at Nyaung Lebin and joined the 3rd brigade. After 5 years, the 13th battalion became the 9th Battalion. I had said the “13” was unlucky, but they didn’t listen. As a recruiter, I collected many of my youngsters. There were so many youngsters that came over here, through so many routes. From Pyu, from Kyaik Htee Yo—the Hanging Pagoda, and then from Moulmein. At that time, Manerplaw was the headquarters of Kawthoolei, and General Bo Mya was president. He asked me to recruit, and I brought many educated people. Some were 8th or 10th standard, and some had been to college. They all joined, as they had all been hurt by the Slorc. The Slorc oppressed them and told them to build roads and do other kinds of forced labor. On top of that, they had to pay taxes. They did not like this, so they joined the revolution in the eastern part. About recruiting, I especially want to tell you about the Hanging Pagoda. Everyone who went to worship there brought a white flag. They would come, 40 people at a time, in hired buses. Kawthoolei area used to be very close to Kyaik Htee Yo. You could reach Kawthoolei area in only two hours from Kyaik Htee Yo. The monks at the temple at that time were all Karen. There were no Burmese then, though now the Burmese control it. An old monk there knew me and was a friend of mine. I asked him to help me. I told him that if my boys came, to have his novices send them to the foot of the hill. This is how my young people could come, but no one knew. The monks were familiar with the Slorc, so it was safe this way. In other areas, we could get only 6 or 7 recruits at one time, but in Kyaik Htee Yo, we could get many more. They said they were at the pagoda to worship, then they would come down to the bottom of the hill. This was the northern part of Kawthoolei. Kawthoolei was everywhere at that time. When I recruited or smuggled things, I always had to be careful and very clever. I became a master of disguise. I was good at disguise even when I was young. When my father was alive, I was an innocent little girl and knew only how to smuggle. At that time, we used big batteries to send signals. Two batteries would almost fill an entire basket. When I had to carry them, I put them in the basket with bananas and coconuts on top, and became a “spirit caller.” Spirit callers also carried bananas and coconuts. Sometimes people asked if my fruit was for sale, but because I was actually carrying batteries, I answered, “I am a spirit caller!” I would tremble and shake, and then they would believe me. I had to bluff, you see. There is a saying that the Burmese have 7 hooks. They are not good. But I had to carry 14 hooks to outwit their 7! If they asked me where I was going and I was going north, I told them south. If they asked if I was married, I told them I already had 2 children in Rangoon! Later, I even had to lie to my cousin. We had not met for about 10 years when I ran into her. But she remembered me and asked, “Are you Mary Ohn?” She was my cousin! But I was afraid she would go and tell others and the Slorc would know I was there, so I said, “I am not Mary Ohn. I am Mary Ohn’s cousin.” She was surprised and said, “Oh! You look just like Mary Ohn!” “Yes, I look like Mary Ohn, but I am not Mary Ohn.. My husband is Indian in Rangoon and works in Scott Market. I got 2 children. Mary Ohn has got no husband,” I said. “Yes,” she agreed, “Mary Ohn has no husband.” When she left, I was travelling to Pa Thein (Bassein) and I did not go back to my home. But the girl went to my mother and said she saw someone that looked like Mary Ohn, but it was Mary Ohn’s cousin. My mother said, “That foolish lady! She is always travelling. I told her not to come home, or our life would be shortened. That’s why she didn’t come. But it was her. You see, she bluffed you.” My cousin was upset and said, “I want to beat her like hell! She bluffed me, but I am her cousin!” My cousin or not, we don’t know. I had to bluff. Fourteen hooks it is. I tell nothing. Sometimes I used different disguises, but I always listened to rumors about me. Once someone told me, “You are like Mary Ohn. The Slorc told us to catch you.” I asked them why they thought I was Mary Ohn, and they explained, “Because you walk very fast, and you wear your longyi very short. And you wear a shirt, not a blouse.” I told them that there are some ladies like that. But then early in the morning, I wore my longyi longer. Before, because I had to stroll along very fast, I had worn the longyi very short. But when I heard the rumor, I changed and made it long, and took small, delicate steps. I also wore a blouse. Then they didn’t recognize me at all! In 1970, I carried some important papers after a congress to a place in the Irrawaddy jungle where there was fighting. I did it by putting the papers behind a picture. At first, I used a picture of a pagoda. But then on my citizenship card, it said I was Christian, and my friend told me I would be caught if I carried the picture of a pagoda. I changed the picture to one of John the Baptist. I was always reminded that I was carrying it, because it was so heavy! When I got on a double decker boat, the Burmese escort came and said the picture was very lovely. So I said, “Yes! This is my Christ, my Jesus Christ being baptized.” And I preached. I had to do everything like that. But I was not a preacher. I was bluffing, only pretending to be a preacher. But I pretended for one night and one day! When I reached the forest to give the papers, I handed over the picture. At first the generals scolded me, saying, “What the hell! What are you bringing this picture for?! We are in the jungle. What are we going to do with this!” What could I say except, “You open it!” And when they saw what I really brought, they were very happy. Sometimes I made myself look pregnant. Sometimes I made myself look very old, with spectacles. The power of the lenses was so strong, I could not see! So I had to walk very slowly. These were my disguises. But I don’t do such things any more. In the beginning, they said women were stupid, foolish, innocent, and not able to do anything. But after the Burmese heard the news about me, they were chasing me always. After that, when I went to a village, even if I just drank water there, and they took the whole village and put them in a concentration camp. Maybe 400 people. Whole areas suffered. When I went, I would arrive, eat, and maybe talk. I would go on, and they could not catch me. But they caught everyone that was connected with me. That is why I never go back any more. I crossed over here in 1984 and have not been back. The SPDC still looks for me sometimes. I know some Muslim friends who went to Rangoon and said they saw my picture on television there. The picture was taken in Mae Sot, but I didn’t know. My picture is also in all the war offices. When people are arrested, they show that picture to them and ask, “Do you know her?” Like that. Of course they know me, but they say they do not know. If they know me, then they will be asked to contact me, or they will be asked more questions. So they say they do not know me. In 1984, my base was at Wan Kha, but the Burmese came and shelled it. They shelled and burned everything. The troops were behind, so the villagers, civilians, and the families of the KNU came over to Thailand to a place called Huay Kaloke. We stayed many years in Huay Kaloke as refugees, and I was appointed as a refugee camp leader there. But even in Huay Kaloke we were not safe from the Burmese. In 1996, the Slorc burned the Huay Kaloke market place. In 1997, they came again and burned half of the shelters. But they didn’t kill people. They just shot into the air. But in 1998, they came with about 300 troops, combined with the DKBA who were their guides. They burned, they shot, and they plundered and looted. They took everything within 46 minutes. They brought home-made torches to burn the homes. And it was easy to burn the place, because all the roofs are leaves. It was soon gone. So we had to start again. On August 23, 1999 we relocated to Ohn Pyan. We moved with people from Maw Ker refugee camp. Fifty houses from Maw Ker had also been burned. I was elected as Karen Refugee Committee chairperson in January 1999, so I had been chairperson for 8 months when Huay Kaloke moved to Ohn Pyan. So here I am, chairperson for 1 year and 2 months now. As Chair, I have to go here and there. Go with the UNHCR (U N High Commission for Refugees), go with the BBC (Burmese Border Consortium), and go with other NGOs. I go here and there, and I just solve the problems, you see. There are so many problems in the camp. Now in Mae Ka Sa La, in the northern part, there is a problem because the Thai authorities went and asked the refugees if they wanted to go back. They said that if there is peace in Burma, they want to go back. But the Thais reported that the refugees simply want to go back, and this was big news because there are 10,000 of them. The Bangkok Post reported this, and I think the National Security Council will try to push them out. When the refugees read about this, they contacted me from Mae Ka Sa La and said they did not say it like that. They told me, “We cannot go back now! There is no peace! The new arrivals are coming and telling us that there are so many difficulties every day. In Burma they couldn’t have food, they couldn’t have anything, their villages were burnt, their livestock was taken away. If they can’t stay there, how can we go back?!” So someone from Mae La Ka Sa wrote a letter to the Bangkok Post asking them to please explain that we don’t want to go now. We said that if there is peace, we will go. But if there is no peace, we won’t go. We won’t go now. They wrote it like that. I also sent one of my camp affairs leaders to go to the camp and explain to the refugees that they cannot be made to go back by force. And then now, the UNHCR came to us from Geneva yesterday. We went together to Ohn Pyan, and we talked about Kofi Annan. Kofi Annan is talking with Chuan Leekpai, and Chuan Leekpai is saying that with 100,000 refugees, he has got a big burden, and he doesn’t want it. Fifteen years is enough, so he wants to make us go back. After fifteen years, of course we want to go home too. But we cannot go now because the situation is not safe for us. Kofi Annan requested Chuan Leekpai to wait, to please control until the situation is a little better in Burma. Who knows how long we will have to wait. But our feelings are strong. When I was a little girl in 6th standard, I learned a poem: Patriotism! Breathes there the man with soul so dead, Who never to himself had said, This is my own, my native land. We’ve got no land. When someone asks us “You are Karen, where is your land?” we cannot answer. We are brave, but we are dead, and I know that. This is why I have to work for my people wholly. Many people think I was a tomboy. I am not a tomboy. When I came to the eastern part, I had to wear longyi because General Bo Mya did not like it when I wore a sarong. He said that I was among boys and men, so I had to dress like men. I had to cut my hair too, because running along when the enemy chased us, oh! My hair flew out here and there! So I cut it in 1975. I actually wanted to marry like others. I wanted to love men like others. But I couldn’t because there is a custom among the Karen. If women get married, they are bound to their household. Their husbands are fighting, but they just work for their families just like hens scratching here and there for their families, you see. I can’t do that. So I have been single up till now. There are many things we could do better if there were peace. Now, I know my Karens are fighting very hard. They lack ammunition, so they have to fight the Burmese even when they get no aid, nothing from other countries. We are going empty handed. We try and try, because we want peace. General Bo Mya said he wants peace. But the Slorc doesn’t want peace, so they come and attack us. We are always waiting for an attack. And then, we have to protect ourselves, and prevent them from killing us or doing something to us. But still the Slorc is practicing ethnic cleansing. They used to give speeches to their troops, and they said, “One day the Karen will be wiped out, so if you want to see them, you will have to go and see them in the museum.” You see? And Thakin Ko Daw Hmaing, he was a leader and an old grandfather. Before he died, he told the Burmese people to be careful of the Karens. He said the Karen population was large and educated. He said, “Be careful of the Karen. If you are not careful with them, you will be their slaves one day. Be careful, press them hard, do everything to them.” The Karen and the Burmese have been enemies for so many years, from the beginning to now. And I decided that whatever may be, I will fight to the end, though now I am not fighting with arms, but at the table. We don’t hate the Burmese as before. We tell our people not to hate them. Karen call the Burmese Payaw. So when they see Payaw, they turn away because they don’t want to see them. The Payaw torture them, hate them, do everything to them. But I tell our Karens that the Payaw are not like how they were in bygone days. They are oppressed now by their own Payaw, their own Burmese. The Slorc, the SPDC, oppress their own Burmese. So we have to be broadminded and love them as our neighbors, our brothers and sisters, because they suffer the same now. We must hate only the system of the Payaw as the ruler of Burma. That’s all. Don’t hate all the Payaws, I said. But the Payaw hate all the Karen, and they say that when they want to see us one day, they will keep us in the museum! We Karen don’t want to bother others. Most of the people from Burma and Thailand, we don’t want to bother. Whatever they want to do, let them do. You see, though the dogs bark, the caravans go on. Like that. They are barking, but we will reach our goal. There is a song which goes like this. Kawthoolei, our harmonious land, Discovered by our forefathers’ clan, How many years land, the Burmans grabbed from our hands Subjugated and oppress us since then. Nowadays the Karens will never never be your slave Till the time of grave. Banners raised with might and mirth Till the time of victory. Today the Karens will never, never give way Fight without delay. Stormy or fair weather, Survive or die, The land we crave for equal rights. Survive or die, The land we crave for equal rights. This is a political song. One of my distant grandfathers wrote it, and I translated it with my cousin because others cannot understand it. I have had to live my life like a drama. My father’s generation worked like hell. Then they died, and we have to continue their work now. Lastly, I want to say as a woman among the Karens, please tell the United Nations and every large country like America, Australia, Canada, and others to help us. Press the Burmese to become a more flexible and to negotiate with us a genuine peace, not a tricky peace or something that we cannot trust. This should be enough said for now. The Thai-Burmese border, 2000

Notes 1 “Slorc” is used here as a general reference to the military under the ruling military regime in Burma. “Slorc” covers the military under General Ne Win to the current SPDC. 2 The Karen name for their land is Kawthoolei. Thoolei is the name of a flower which is known for its ability to grow even after the ground has been burned. The Karen feel an affinity for the flower, as they have also had to rebuild communities repeatedly after their villages were burned by the junta’s troops.

Mary Ohn still leads a dramatic life trouble-shooting problems in the refugee camps despite growing obstacles. Ma Hla Pyi Won is now based in Japan, where she continues to promote human rights in Burma. Make-up Smears on Crumpled Paper by Aye Mi Phyu These days, they are called ‘sex workers’ – women who sell themselves to earn money. Before though they were ostracized by the society and deridingly called courtesan, harem girls, prostitutes, pleasure girls or hens. As time goes on, the term for them has changed but their lives have not changed a bit. In the past, the society considered them as shameless and promiscuous and with that they suffered greatly. Nowadays though, it seems that making money this way is considered a profession or job. They are now known as ‘women who sell their bodies to make money.’ This kind of profession can be openly seen in Thailand. These young women have to make themselves beautiful, put a number plate on their bodies, and stand in the room of glass in the downtown and crowded areas of Thailand’s cities. They have to attract the pleasure-seekers, the customers, so that they would be used by these thrill-seekers. If you ask me “What about in Burma?” I have to say this is happening in Burma too. One of the easiest products to sell from Burma is ‘sex’ in this era of the so-called ‘open market system’. Teenagers and university students enter this industry. We are seeing many more girls and women from Burma – who were smuggled and sold into this, and who came here to sell their bodies on the Thailand-Burma border. They came here due to lack of economic opportunities and hardship. It is absolutely shocking to hear of their lives and their experiences in their work. If I have to tell of the lives of these girls and women – There was a girl who worked in a factory. She then became a mistress of the factory owner and was given a few favors. After 6 months or a year, many people including the wife found out about her and she was kicked out from that place. She did not dare to go back home as she considered her life was ruined. She inquired about brothels and found out about the darkest part of that world. It was too difficult for her to venture. So she found a job as a waitress and earned 1,000 to 1,500 baht24 a month. Not long after that, she found out about higher paid jobs from friends with whom she shared a place. Even if she worked very hard the whole night for a whole month, she could earn only 1,500 baht salary as a waitress. If she went out with a visitor (customer) for just one night, she could earn 1,000 baht. She didn’t think about being single (virgin) or her family dignity. Besides, all she could think about was she had none of it anymore after what happened to her at the factory. Since she was in a foreign country not in Burma she did not need to be ashamed of this as she assumed that no one would ever find out. She saw her friends spending like rich people and dining out and wearing beautiful dresses and she too wanted to be just like them. She no longer liked honest work. She then started to float along with others in that industry. There was another girl whose parents were facing so much hardship and crisis. The amount of debt almost strangled them. She was only 13 or 14 years old and did not even know about love or boyfriends. But her parents had knowledge about that kind of job and urged her to go. The parents told her that they would get a lot of money for ‘very first

24 US $ 23 – 34. time’ and handed her to people smugglers. Anyone would get over 10,000 baht25 if they agreed to lose their virginity for the very first time. After the brothel owners took their share, she would get half of it and it was about 4, 5, or 6,000 baht. If they changed it into Burmese currency, it was 100,000 kyat and it was very tempting. But the girl was not interested and did not want to do it. She wanted to go to school and study just like her friends. She would not mind working as a vendor as long as she was with her friends. Her parents, however, could not resist to this amount of easy money. Since they had so much debts to repay and the girl was a good daughter, she came to the border and invested her own life and body for her family. But then her parents were not content with the money they got. The girl was ashamed of this job, and scared and loathed it with the fear that someone from Burma who knew her might find out. She was always frightened with this thought but as she worked she also needed more and more money. Some people wanted 2,000 or even more if they got only 1,000. Her family used up the money that she got for her virginity. Then her parents pushed her to go for another time telling her to do it for ‘only one month’. She did not want to upset her parents even though she did not want to do this anymore. Yet she could not imagine what would happen if she ignored her parents’ wish. All these situations pushed her to go for another big chance for ‘the last time’ and it got easier than the first time because it was also easy money. She was not depressed or feeling lonely as she had friends of her own kind. She was very sad when she saw her friends in school back in Burma though. She felt very low. The wish to go home went away like cloud in the sky when she thought about these things. Girls and women who work in that industry would go to tea shop and karaoke shops to release their pain inside when they felt low and depressed and would drink beer or cough syrup26 and take drugs like ‘Ya Ba’.27 No one asked or pushed them to do these drugs but they saw others doing it and wanted to try it. Some girls and women were trapped in this cycle of prostitution as they were hooked on drugs. Some tried to save up money to start their own business and went home when they got the desired amount. These kinds of girls were smart but very rare. This is a partial portrayal of women and girls from Burma in the sex industry of border areas. Some girls become sex workers after they had been mistresses of Thai employers, and some choose to work to send money back to their parents or the family. Many of the girls and women are virgins and this is their first experience of sexual intercourse. Those girls who go for first time will get over 10,000 baht with half of it going to the brothel owner. From then on, they are trapped and sink further down in the industry. The lives of many girls and women from Burma who work in this industry are ruined by the diseases such as HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)as they do not have knowledge or education about this, and how to protect themselves. Our country has become the producer or source of AIDS and prostitutes.

25 US$ 232 26 Cough syrup is a common means of getting high. 27 Ya Ba literally means “crazy tablet” in the Thai language, and is used to describe methamphetamines. The girls and women who enter this industry for various reasons face undesirable lives. They all have to work like robots of flesh – inviting and luring customers sexually, making themselves beautiful with make-up, saying things so that customers would want to spend a night with them and touching the customers while serving beer or alcohol. They share their stories of customers who used them only for hours or for the whole night, who was very rough and rowdy and who was tender and gentle, amongst themselves in the early morning before they go to bed, exhausted. A young woman who was in that industry for sometime before said – “We all would talk about our experience of the previous night until about 5 or 6 o’clock in the morning with our friends. We would go to sleep when the day was bright, when other people woke up. Usually, we used to get up at 4 or 5 o’clock in our village. But sex workers sleep when others get up. We would sleep until about 2 or 3 o’clock in the afternoon. We then got up, had meals, and some went out to sing in the karaoke bars or some went out to buy things. Some girls and women might have appointments with their boyfriends, in that case they would not sleep at all. They all would go and see their boyfriends. But then at 5 or 6 o’clock in the evening we all would start to put on make-up and we get ready to work.” This is their daily life. Sometimes, they will have customers during the daytime. Brothel owners might point customers to the rooms where the girls and women are and would ask them to choose whomever they like. At that time, some girls would be sleeping without any clothes on or some wearing only underwear. Some women from Burma might think ‘Don’t these girls and women have any shame at all?’ The relationship between customers and sex workers is just like seller and buyer of any kind. They will then talk about price depending how many hours the customer wants or it could be whole night. Some customers do not dare to bargain and would pay what price is asked. Most customers take drugs or alcohol to be able to do the act with the girls and women so they have to bear whatever it may come before them – sometimes customers with unbearable smell, and sometimes customer with violent ways. Another young woman talked about her experience – “Some customers would sit only when we invite. Some needed a lot of encouragement and we had to welcome them enthusiastically. ‘Please sit down, what would you like to drink? What would you like to have?’ Something like that. Some just said it very openly like ‘Do you want girl? We have girls.’ Some of the girls who are more direct would ask the customers ‘Do you want a prostitute?’ and tell them the prices for various acts. If the customer already knows someone in the brothel, the greeter would call out for her. We then serve beer or alcohol. Some customers who are not used to that kind of place would start ordering food and drink. After a while, with a little bit of alcohol in their stomach, they became a bit daring and only then would ask for girls to go out. We would say the price is 500 baht for one hour and 1,500 baht28 for whole night. Some would bargain,

28 US$ 11 per hour, US$ 34 per night. like ‘Can I get it with 1,200 or 1,30029?’ If the girls felt OK, they would go for it. If not, they would not go. But if the customers come with the brothel owner, we have no choice, we have to go.” Some girls, they may be prostitutes, but they don’t want to go with the customers who are extremely drunk no matter how much money these customers offer to pay. They only want to go out with customers who look all right because they have to stay with him the whole night and bear whatever he does to her. Some girls would not go with bad guys but they have very little choice if the man came in with the owner. Otherwise, the brothel owner would deduct their salary, about 500 or 1,000 baht for refusing. They have to go because the brothel owner owns their bodies. It is very difficult for them to refuse even though they knew that the customer would be really rough and violent.” Some of the girls and women told of their experiences with very rough customers. They said that sometimes they would encounter some men who liked to tie them up first before they had intercourse with them. Some men would use sex aids like horsehair rings or glass balls and had very strange ways of intercourse. Some young women said they want to quit the job when they encounter such customers. They also encountered violence. These are the stories of some girls and women in the sex industry to whom I talked to and observed. In our country, our money and currency are merely torn pieces of paper. So currency and money in a foreign country becomes these women and girls’ lives, future, dreams, their shelter. Their lives, like paper, are crumpled and smeared with the lurid stains of their work, scented with the cloying perfume of their lipstick. The Thai-Burmese border, 2002

Aye Mi Phyu is a long-time activist and a journalist. Her articles have appeared in a number of Burmese language publications. She has published a book of essays in Burmese. She continues to discreetly operate a programme providing assistance to refugees and migrant workers.

29 US$ 27 – 30. Rebel’s Daughter by Sa Bae I am the fifth of my siblings and I was born in Sittaung, Mon State. The Sittaung Bridge and Paper Mill made my hometown famous in Burma. But I was not able to be proud of my own hometown. My father joined the underground revolutionary group when I was about 5 years old and since then we were watched closely by the military intelligence. So we were not happy at all. My mother always had to get permission from the military to travel. Very often, they would interrogate her and accuse her of having contact with my father. Once, my older brother was brought into a cemetery and interrogated in the middle of the night. All my brothers never got the chance to go for higher education or vocational training. We were blocked from enrolling at institutes of technology or medicine even though we were eligible. It was because we were the family of a rebel. Yes, it is true that our family, including my grandfather, rebelled against dictatorship in the struggle for an open and free political system. That was why my grandfather - my mother’s father and my uncle - my father’s brother, were killed by the military. I was only 8 years old when I heard that my father was killed by the army. My father sacrificed his life for his political beliefs three years after joining the underground. Although it is customary in Burma to have a ceremony and make an offering when someone dies, we could not even mourn openly when my father died. We could not even have his body to cremate. There are many families like mine, which suffered in the darkness of oppression from the lack of law and order and freedom. My grandmother always supported and encouraged the political commitment of her sons, my father and uncle, those who she lost to the revolution. I have spent most of my life staying with my grandmother and always wished to help teach people in the underdeveloped villages of the border areas. Because of that wish I have always keenly pursued education and other general knowledge. For me education is my first, second and third priority. I was in grade 6 at my school when the 1988 pro-democracy uprising broke out in Burma. I had to stay with my mother in her village after the military closed all the schools and universities in the country and brutally cracked down on peaceful demonstrators – monks, students, and innocent people who demanded only human rights and democracy. My mother’s village was located at the slope of Kyaik Hti Yoe Pagoda, on the edge of Mon State and Pegu Division in which different ethnic nationalities like Karen, Shan, and Bamar live. These people are very simple, open and they love and respect their custom and religion. However, it was very sad that they suffered the military’s oppression in their daily lives. Any mature-aged boys did not dare to stay in their own village because the military recruited forced porters in the villages. The military looted anything that they came across – rice, cooking oil, salt, chickens, ducks, and pigs. We did not even dare to peek out when the military was looting our village let alone oppose their actions. Then I began to realize that my hope and imagination were so far-fetched from the reality when I passed my matriculation and reached the university level of my education. I found out that the education system of our country was so gloomy compared to other countries. We had to spend a fortune even to finish this unworthy education. It was the era of passing your exams only if you were able to attend outside tuition on top of high education fees. I was not able to study in a higher education institution as I belonged to a family with political convictions. The university that I was allowed to attend was not only expensive but also closed most of the time. Besides, we would be pushed through the system in such a hurry that it would take only 1 year to graduate from a 4-year degree. Finally, I decided to come out to the revolutionary area with the hope of helping others with education one day. My decision was a lucky one as I got the chance and opportunity to fulfil my wish not long after I arrived on the border, the revolutionary area. I got the chance to be an intern at an NGO in Bangkok, which supports democracy and human rights in Burma. I was also able to travel to Indonesia to learn more of the international situation and share my knowledge and experience. That trip to Indonesia was very valuable and precious for me. After Indonesia, I was able to get rid of my fear and worry that I felt when I was in Burma under the military government. My spirit and my feelings were well alive again, unlike my hemmed-in existence in Burma. I began to see many things differently and became ready to open up my mind to lots of knowledge and ideas. I now realize how important it is to take part in the transition – social, health, economic and education - of my country from its terrible political system. We do not need any deadly weapons to fight against injustice. We need to fight against injustice with education, as it is safer and more peaceful. I am now serving and fulfilling my duties to my people to get justice, freedom, and human rights. It is because my country’s future is also my future. The Thai-Burmese border, 2002

Sa Bae (“jasmine” in Burmese) continues to be based on the Thai-Burmese border, working with women who are in a similar situation to hers. Picking up the fallen Rice Stalks by Ma Aye Pwint A couple of years ago, I attended a seminar on women and girl victims who were trafficked into the sex industry and other servitude, held in Bangkok, Thailand. There I saw a Burmese lady in Burmese traditional dress. As a Burmese, my reaction to this was to go straight to her and greet her with courtesy. The lady was friendly and lovely as we exchanged small talk. After a while the emcee asked all of us to sit, as the seminar was about to commence. The Burmese lady sat two rows before me and I saw she chatted with another lady in a red dress whom I later found out was also a Burmese working with the United Nations. The lady in red dress suddenly got up from her seat and took a number of photos of me without my permission30. When did I become an enemy to her? Or how and when did she become a military intelligence or pro-regime? From that day, my heart sank as I realized we face a delicate problem among ourselves as we are divided. Now, I think twice before walking up to greet any lady in Burmese dress. My heart aches at the same time while I ask myself ‘WHY’. We know whom to blame though. But seriously, what kind of women would want to be the axe handles of the regime?31 The air is different now. More voices of women are heard at various places at various levels – international and regional conferences, seminars, workshops, training, and meetings. More women leaders are emerging slowly and catching up with the whole world. Within the pro-democracy movement, there certainly have been improvements and development in terms of empowering and capacity building for women. It is a change of heart from all sides. In fact, once the millennium entered to this world it seems that almost everybody is wanting to change and think differently for the better, except the military regime in Burma. Now that Daw Aung San Suu Kyi has finally been released from house arrest, there may be a change of heart from the generals. However, a tiger will not fast if it is hungry again and a leopard will never change its spots. Thus, we have to hold on to our patience and perseverance to ensure that real change happens, but for how long? Now everyone is talking about PEACE. Many of us talk about reconciliation, transition, and capacity building at different levels for various people. Some talk about that hot issue - “The Talks” and potential “Tripartite Dialogue.” However, very few of us talk about ‘conflict’ as it is. It seems that when it comes to conflict, people tend to see in a hostile and violent way - ‘armed conflict.’ I have seen some people, who are allergic to this word. There is no doubt that many of us are very familiar with that as fighting between the military and ethnic groups or otherwise civil war as it is still going on in Burma. But the word ‘conflict’ goes beyond one confined meaning and travels all among us.

30 Photographing Burmese activists at meetings and other public events is a usual means gathering intelligence on the pro-democracy movement and a common intimidation tactic. 31 “Axe handle” is commonly used by the regime to describe traitors. The handle of an axe is traditionally made of wood, and is used to support the iron axe-head that cuts trees, their “own kind”. The military regime has tried to manipulate and interpret this word (or any word) for their own ends. The military regime claims it is needed to prevent Burma from disintegrating into a Yugoslavia-like-situation. Of course this is nonsense. However, we cannot totally deny there is tension or conflict amongst ourselves – the different parts of the pro- democracy movement and the ethnic nationality groups. Can we recognize the conflict and can we address it? We really need remind ourselves frequently of this question. Some people would like to say that there is no such thing as ‘conflict’ among us because do not want to be seen as complying with the regime’s propaganda. When we do this, we are playing politics with each other or just simply blinding ourselves to the situation. The reality that we face should not be denied out of hand, simply in order to reject the regime’s claim. We must look deep down inside at what is going on and what has been happening on the ground if we are to solve our country’s political problems. In my opinion, we should not shy away or even be afraid of conflict or tension amongst ourselves. Instead, we must face it with openness and flexibility. We have to be prepared to resolve such issues with tolerance. This also means training ourselves to be politically and socially more mature. For decades, we have been living in constant conflict so that our society has become divided within itself. This division can hinder the process of transition and healing from the sufferings that we endure now. During harvesting, small amounts of rice stalks tend to fall in the field and be left behind. It is usually the women’s job to go into the field and walk around picking up the rice stalks that have been scattered here and there. It is sometimes harder work than the main harvesting but someone has to do it, because we cannot afford such waste. In the same way, the women’s movement has started to deal with the essential issues that our male leaders have overlooked – either because they are dealing with the “main harvest” or because they have no time to bend down. Tension and conflict will not go away just because we avoid talking about it. Some men, whom I respect, encourage me to speak out at some meetings because they feel that it is better for a woman to confront the issue. Does this solve our problem? I feel that we women are now collecting the rice stalks left behind after the harvest time. Things that have been left aside and not dealt with properly before are now on our shoulders. We shall take these big tasks with great responsibility. At a recent training on peace, I was able to co-facilitate the training with two inspiring women trainers for two weeks. I have learned a lot from working with them. The atmosphere in that training was not only so calm and peaceful but also very productive. Twenty women from 12 different ethnic backgrounds whose age ranged from 19 to 52 actively participated in that and shared what was in their hearts. Among the many activities, we had a session on story telling of a woman peace-builder from each participant. There, a young woman called Phyoe Phyoe told us a story of a woman peace builder. “We were in a meeting called Women’s Exchange. As we discussed about our differences some of us got really emotional because we were talking about ethnic issue and ethnic problem. At one point, we could not agree with each other but we did not want to hurt one another too. So all of us became so emotional and cried. Then Ahmoe Ah Mu Doe got up and sang a song to everyone. She urged everyone to stand up and dance and be friendly to each other. Because we all were women and we understood one another well. Then all of us stood up and danced and we overcame those hurt feelings and differences among us as women.” This young woman was inspired by Ahmoe Ah Mu Doe and honored Ahmoe as woman peace-builder. This also shows that we, women, may cry (some may see this as weakness) but we deal with matters differently and overcome some obstacles on our way to genuine reconciliation and conflict resolution. With this different and unique way of dealing, we shall overcome all obstacles on our way to genuine reconciliation and peace. It may take time as we women lag behind in term of opportunity and choices. However, we have the right to work for what we deserve. Bangkok, 2002

Ma Aye Pwint is an activist from the “8888 generation”. She continues to work for democracy and human rights for Burma. Family Tragedy by July The story that I am now going to share is about an old lady who I sympathized with and loved. Her name is Mi Nyein and she was born in Le Su village, Myaut Taung Area, Tavoy Township in Tannensarin Division. She married Maung Tin when she was about twenty years old. They were wealthy because they had inherited from their ancestors and they worked very hard. They were one of the richest families in Taung Myaut area. They owned many cattle, and acres of land. They also owned a chicken and pig farm at home. They had a daughter and a son and they loved their children dearly. Le Su village was one of the villages where the government’s troops often came and did anything they wished. The resistance groups came to that village very often as well. One day, Mi Nyein’s daughter who was about eighteen or nineteen years old eloped with a man from the resistance group. Mi Nyein was so angry with her daughter that she did not make any contact after that. Though she loved her daughter so much, she disowned her out of anger. A couple of days later, the government troops came to the village and found out that her daughter had eloped with the resistance man. Then they accused her and her family of having contact with resistance groups and arrested her husband and young son. Luckily, her son escaped to the capital city, Rangoon but her husband was taken by the troops. Actually, she did not have any contact with any resistance group even though her daughter eloped with one of them. Besides, she was not so happy about her daughter marrying this man. Her husband was not released even after two weeks even though the soldiers said they were taking her husband just for a while. She tried everything she could and sold everything to get more money for her husband’s release. Even after she spent all her money, there was no sign that he would be released. She could not get any help from the village head and could not appeal at the court either. The soldiers accused her husband of not only having contacts but also of supporting the resistance group. And they ordered that their daughter must return at once. Then they brought Maung Tin in the middle of the village and tortured him in front of everybody. They threatened all the villagers with the same fate if they made contact with any resistance group. After they tortured him, Maung Tin was left under the scorching sun with his hands tied. All the while Mi Nyein was still trying to get her husband free. Every time she went to beg the soldiers to free her husband, they would tell her they were going to release him very soon. She could not do anything but cry. Finally, the resistance group heard about Maung Tin and they entered the village and fought with the troops. Maung Tin was killed in the fighting. None of her relatives dared to help or talk to her because they feared that they too would face the same fate as Maung Tin. They dared not go near her so she had to live alone in her house. At that time, she was about forty years old. Three years later her young son came back and married a girl in the village. Mi Nyein was treated very badly by her daughter-in-law because she was not rich any more. Meanwhile, she missed her daughter so much despite her anger. She prayed hard for her when she heard there was fighting between the government troops and the resistance group. She would chant loudly when she was praying. The soldiers who heard all this loud chanting again accused her of giving information to the resistance group. They arrested her son. She and her daughter- in-law bribed the soldiers with everything she had for her son to be freed. Eventually, her son was freed but was crazy from the affect of severe tortures while he was under arrest. She now lost her husband, the son who was now incurably insane and she was worried sick for her daughter so she was always sad and anxious. About two years later, she heard that she now had her very first granddaughter. Later, she received the news that she never wanted to hear: Her daughter had been killed by gunfire. She was almost insane when she learnt about this. Her hope to see her daughter again was completely crushed. She could not dare to think of bringing her motherless grandchildren, nine year old granddaughter and two year old grandson, to come and stay with her. Her son-in-law brought the children secretly to meet but she had to let them go back, fearing they might be taken away from her by the soldiers. Luck was not on her side this time either. Her son-in-law was killed in the battles. She thought about her two grandchildren and was very sad. These days, Mi Nyein is in her sixties or seventies. Grief and sadness which started when she was about forty are still with her. She does not know what has happened to her grandchildren. Her dreams of happiness would never be realized. Under this tyranny, she lost her husband, daughter, son-in-law and to a certain extent, her son. She was not able to care for her orphaned grand children. Definitely no one would want to have such life although we all believe life is so precious. Poor Mi Nyein did not even understand what politics or the resistance movement meant. There are many simple and innocent farmers who suffer a great deal under this military government. Nowadays, there are so many old women like Mi Nyein in my country. All people of Burma are waiting with the hunger for peace and security. That is why I would like to urge all of us to unite for our country to have peace and tranquility. The Thai-Burmese border, 2000

July is a young Tavoyan woman from a farming family. When she was eight years old, her family fled to a refugee camp on the Thai-Burmese border after being forcibly relocated by government troops several times. Since this story was first published, July has divided her energies between education and activism. She hopes to be able to begin her university education in 2003. Secret Mission by T. Heng Nan My name is T. Heng Nan and I am going to share a life experience of mine from thirty years ago. I had been asked to study in Thailand after I passed matriculation so I could be more effective in the Kachin national movement. However my parents did not agree with this mission. I am the second child of eleven siblings and was the only child to reach the higher level of education, studying at a convent school. My parents wanted me to guide and lead my siblings after I graduated. I accepted the idea of going on this secret mission, I could not refuse it. It was for our ethnic movement. Soon after, I arrived in the jungle and our journey to Thailand began. Travelling in our group there were over two hundred men and about twenty women. I thought I was one of the women who were going to study radio communication on Thai- Burma border. On our journey to the border we were blocked and attacked by Burmese Socialist Programme Party (BSPP) troops. They thought it was easier to attack while we had so many women in our group. Only four days after we began our journey, we were ambushed. We lost two of our vanguards and some people in our party were injured. Because of this we had to change our route to the border and had to halt the journey for a while. We hid deep in the jungle away from any villagers for nine days. We had no access to water so we scarcely had enough for cooking and we did not bathe for all that time. Our food supplies almost ran out so we could only boil rice to make porridge. Not long after we resumed our journey we were attacked again by BSPP troops. So we stopped at a nearby village. While we were there two of our women went to fetch water for cooking, but had to run for their lives from BSPP’s troops. Luckily they both escaped unharmed. We all had to run for our lives and I could not stop even to get my very important bag. After that our journey got longer because we could no longer take the shortcut route to the border. The BSPP’s troops intended to block and disrupt us so we could not to get to the other side, Thailand. Running and running through the jungle in haste we soon reached the Wa state after crossing the Salween River. The mountains in Wa state are so high and we climbed and descended mountain after mountain to get through our journey. All the way I rode on the back of a horse. Because of this when I reached Wa state I had much difficulty, even to urinate. I was very sick for a week However I had no choice but to continue our trip while I was getting treatment. In Wa state we stayed at U Khun Sa’s house but the villagers told us he was in Thailand at that time. Next we had to take a boat to continue our trip. The boat was so small only two people at a time could travel in it. It took us two days to get where we wanted to go. We traveled only at night when we approached Taung Gyi-Kyai Tone Road. And we did not dare to use any torch or light. Luckily I was able to follow behind my horse holding to its tail because it was a white horse. The trip got really rough and most women got severely sick. So I let them take my horse and went on foot through the jungle. Then after three or four days of walking I got really sick, too. But I was able to hold on with the good news that we were approaching the border and would reach Thailand very soon. By that time we had been traveling about a month. It was the first time I had suffered from malaria and I thought I was going to die from it. In December we reached the Kachin revolution area on the (Thai/Burma) border. All the other women went on to learn radio communication. But I was unexpectedly told that I was not here for that reason. They told me I had been brought here for a top secret mission. It was to marry a Kachin leader. What could I say anyway after coming all the way here? So I accepted and married that leader. This was how I got to the Thai-Burma border. I have tried to be very brief in the telling of my story. Nonetheless what I would like to point out by telling my life experience of 1969, that we women are also important participants in our revolution for freedom. The Thai-Burmese border, 2000

Notes: • In Burma thirty years ago, we had to study at Convent school if we wanted to learn English • The ‘secret mission’ to marry this leader was so secret that even I was not told about it until I reached the border.

T. Heng Nan is a Kachin woman who works for the progress of Kachin people and for national reconciliation. She continues to be based in Thailand. HOW MUCH FURTHER? by A Woman Amongst Many Others India has just celebrated its 50th year of independence. Sri Lanka will also soon celebrate its golden jubilee, despite there being a terrible bomb blast in Jaffna. When I heard news of our neighbours’ celebrations I was reminded that Burma too, will soon celebrate 50 years of independence. Instead of being happy, I was merely struck by the fact that 50 years has been half a century. When I was young we won independence from the British colonialists. I was ready to do and give whatever was necessary for our independence. Our people were not afraid of the bullets and riot sticks taken up against them. After the second world war, Burma actually gained independence. People really wanted this, and as it became a reality, they spent their time thinking of the ways in which they wanted to reconstruct Burma. But, unfortunately, our national leaders, our independence heroes, were assassinated before it happened. Our civil war began and there was no national unity. There were so many different problems during this time. I have heard of the forest fires that have been raging in Borneo and recalled the fire of civil war that has been raging now in my country for 50 years. Some of the people who have survived our civil war reminded me that the fires in Borneo have burned for such a short time in comparison. Our war is so ugly. I know that there are many other civil wars going on in some other parts of the world, but I think that it has not been as prolonged as the Burmese war, and there has not been such losses and tragedies. Let’s think about this carefully. The financial resources that have been lost in our war is not the issue. What of the countless human resources which have been irreplaceably squandered. Our people who are interested in politics, and actively participate in Burmese politics are not ordinary people. They are concerned with the welfare of their fellow peoples, more so than their own welfare. They will act for their people, before they will act in their own interests and intend only good things for our people. They are kind- hearted, brilliant and courageous. So many people with such qualities have already been lost to our civil war. So many people have already died. So many people languish in jail, or are forced into exile, and many have been disabled by the injuries of war. I recall meeting a woman whose husband died while in jail. Her two sons joined revolutionary groups and are now in exile. I was struck with admiration for this woman when I heard of her situation and told her so. She said to me, “don’t admire me! I am not a superwoman. I am a woman amongst so many others. There is a majority of women like me, suffering, lonely and silent, who merely wipe their tears from their face with a single gesture. They are struggling for their lives. We have feared for such a long time, under so many different authorities, because of our husbands or our sons and daughters. They are not safe under such circumstances. All of our peoples rights are banned. In such situations, theirs is a daily struggle for survival.” During our civil war there has been no way even to imagine democracy and human rights. We can only draw sketches of what we think it could be, to show and educate others. I said to this woman, “I understand that you are poor and struggling very hard for your life, and keep your suffering so quiet. I can only imagine what sort of courage you possess.” The woman replied, “In our country the civil war has already been raging for 50 years, and within this time many parents have attempted to send their sons and daughters to university. But how many people have been able to finish their degree? How many people have been able to graduate? No official records such data! So far I know that if you go and study at school you will be beaten, or forced into exile in the jungle or in another country, or you will be put in jail. Such data would be very interesting to reveal. Such things not only damage our children, it torments their parents. When students suffer, so do their parents. When the authorities cannot oppress the children, they come and seek to oppress the parents and then they too have to suffer.” “While we are experiencing civil war, there can be no democracy in our country. Without democracy we cannot experience national unity. Without national unity how can we develop our country? Think of the countless natural resources that have already been destroyed by the war.” “How many poor people have suffered and merely hide their poverty from the eyes of others. In past times, if only one member of a family was able to work, that entire family would be able to eat. But now every member of a single household is forced to work for barely enough food. Go and open the laborers termin kyain1 and you will find only rice! How many people can afford to eat meat curry with oil any more? Who can even afford to eat their rice with beans? If you have work you can eat, not very well, but at least you can survive. If you don’t have a job, you have nothing to eat.”. “The worst thing is that people are suffering like this and have no right to speak out against their suffering. And so, we suffer in loneliness. But there is a limit to our resistance. Maybe one day we will reach our limit. At the moment nobody knows what those limitations are, but our suffering will end. Wait and see when our limits have been reached....”. Burma, 1998 Note: 1 A multi-tiered set of food containers. Laborers are quite often seen in the streets of Rangoon with termin kyain, on their way to work.

The writer of this article remains in Burma. We Tie Our Hands Together For Strength (Innocent Aunty Goes to Prison) by Let Let It is our Burmese women’s nature to be reluctant to get involved in any trouble or anything to do with legal matters. We normally want to lead simple lives. We invest all our lives in our children, for their good health and education. We are the ones responsible for the household, we give most of our time to our husbands. We make sure that we spend our husbands’ earnings sparingly and prioritize the happiness of our families. I am an ordinary woman, but that does not mean I tolerate any kind of unjust treatment. I first learnt about the famous 7th July event when I was about fifteen years old, at grade 8 at school. I was saddened and shocked when I learnt about this tragedy of our elder brothers and sisters. (On 7th July 1962, soldiers of the Ne Win regime bombed the Rangoon University Student Union Building and killed pro-democracy students). Later, I learnt about the U Thant uprising. (In 1974, students rose up again against Ne Win during the funeral of UN Secretary-General U Thant). Many students died and I thought “couldn’t anyone help these children?” When the student-led democracy uprising of 1988 happened, I could no longer sit still. I joined many people, including monks and civilians in the movement. At that time, the population had to rely on smuggled products from Thailand to meet daily needs – medicine, cosmetics and essentials. I was irritated that we had to exchange our valuable precious stones and gold with those plastic products from Thailand. I thought if we had a democratic system in Burma, with freedom of expression and trading, we would be able to fulfil the potential of our country. Then our country would be able to develop just as well as other countries. Yes, I made up my mind to be involved in the democracy movement but I had to think about how I could get started. At first, I was impressed with the State Law and Order Restoration Council (SLORC) which promised to allow political parties to be formed and to build a democratic country. I thought “now we will be able to achieve development for our country”. Then came the question of which party to work with…I decided to become a member of the National League for Democracy (NLD) which was led by Daw Aung San Suu Kyi. Since I was young, I respected and was very proud of General Aung San who sacrificed himself for our country’s independence. His frankness impressed me as well. I was also impressed by Daw Aung San Suu Kyi’s courage, bravery and leadership while I worked in the NLD. Being a mother, I was even more amazed when I learned more about how she put the people of Burma above her own family life. I earnestly believed that we would one day be able to build a democratic country. I started to realize that we had to try our best to build a democratic country if we wanted our next generation to be better. However, I had a weakness - I was scared of ghosts! I couldn’t help it. I was always imagining getting arrested and having to be alone in a cell. I told myself not to worry that much – if I was arrested, I would tell the authorities of my difficulty, and they would somehow arrange something for me. Actually, I did not really think I would be arrested. The NLD was a legal political party after all, and was not doing anything wrong. During the first 10 years of being active in the NLD, I had told people not to worry about any danger as long as we worked strictly within the policy and discipline of the party. Then the day came: September 1998, 10 p.m. I was in my bed when I heard someone knocking on our door. As I opened the door, I saw local authorities who told me to come with them. They told me to bring some clothes and medicine. I asked “how long it is going to take and why?” I should take enough for about 14 days, they said, they just would like to ask some questions about the NLD’s call to convene parliament. I said I was not even an MP, I was not important enough to be questioned about this. I followed them anyway without saying anymore. Meanwhile, many other NLD members were brought to a place called “Ye Mon”. I was not that worried since I was with so many of my colleagues. There, the rice was so bad and curry so scarce that we found it very difficult to eat. I felt a bit better when authorities told us to stay here without worrying, to take care of ourselves and to let them know if we had something to tell them. We sang all the songs we could think of to lessen the stress among the young ones because it was very quiet. Some days, the young ones shared and exchanged their views and opinions from what they had read. Ten people including me were asked to pack up our little belongings to move somewhere else. This included a woman who was over seventy years old. We asked the authorities to leave her and let her stay here but they didn’t allow that. I have to say the second place was a bit better, because we were able to write letters to our family, to ask for some food and necessities. The old lady who was demanding to be sent home was well taken care of. One of the wardens even ordered food from Rangoon and cooked it for her when she said she wanted to eat king prawn curry. They took very good care of our health. However, how could we feel comfortable staying there against our will? I developed kidney complications despite the care we had. One night, I was in so much pain I could not sleep. In the morning, they brought a doctor to examine and treat me. That time I thought not all the soldiers or military officers were that scary or bad because the doctor was so friendly and helpful. The others also treated us with respect so I felt bad for thinking they would bully us while we were vulnerable in their hands. I even became fond of some of them, thinking there was always good and evil in everyone. We did not have to work. We could watch TV and read magazines and books. However, each one of us was asked about our opinion on convening the parliament. I told them that my work to support the convening of Parliament had already been completed and such tasks were now the responsibility of the executive members of the Committee Representing the People’s Parliament. They did not use force to question us. Meanwhile, we were all counting the days to go home, thinking it would be soon. We’d already been there a month. I didn’t realize a dark day was approaching. As usual, I was expecting a car would come to take us home. Finally one day there was a car parked in front of our building and three of us were asked to pack our belongings. They did not tell us anything and did not answer our questions. I tried to be positive and think that they were going to send us home in groups. Only when the car stopped in front of Insein prison, I realized my worst days had arrived. I thought “Oh! God!”. What could I do? This was the place I’d always feared and never thought to I’d be sent to. As I was frantically thinking what to do about my fear of ghosts, a loud command reminded me of my predicament. They told me to squat in the obeisance position for prisoners. We were ordered like this by our teachers when we were school kids, but here I was, being ordered to do this at over fifty years of age. Why were they doing this? As I was thinking of asking that question, one loud voice came out again from nowhere saying, “Hey, tell them to do what they are asked to do, or smash their faces if they don’t obey.” That kept me quiet. I dared not ask anything anymore. The most terrifying thing came next, when they put me alone in a cell. I had nowhere to run this time — the most dreaded fear of my life came to be. I was so terrified that my body shivered in a cold sweat. I ventured out to tell a guard that I was so scared of ghosts. Of course, they did not do anything about it and I had to spend whole night frightened to the point that my bowels turned to water. The next morning, I prayed really hard that nightfall would not come. But how could my prayer be fulfilled since it was the rule of nature that night follows day? I tried to discard my fear by encouraging myself. Bearing in my heart that death come at time, I was able to control my mind and the fear started to fade away. I then recalled what Daw Aung San Suu Kyi said to us: “We are determined to get democracy, no one forced us to join in or become a member of NLD. That is why we have to work according to our belief. In case we get arrested, we must try to bear dharmma in our heart. And we have to eat whichever amount we can whether we like it or not.” That was the main reason why I tried to get rid of my fear by chanting Buddhist verses. I encouraged myself thinking there were a lot of people who made sacrifices for our country’s democracy movement. So why could I not remove my fear? Though it did not go away completely, it was not as bad as at the beginning. As I was wrestling with my own fear, I got really hungry. There was nothing else but a bottle of water. So I tried to console my screaming stomach with water for the time being. Not long after that, there was meal for me. I did not quite get the whole picture when I read “Yay Thae Pya Zat” (The Drama of the Water Seller) but I was having same fate as I tried to swallow this so-called “meal”. I could only eat a little on the first day. I promised my mother out loud that I would eat more later. At first I thought after a month we would be allowed to contact our family but this did not happen, even after six months — we were not allowed to contact anyone. My health was worsening due to the poor diet. I couldn’t get the boiled drinking water I needed to cope with my kidney problems. Drinking unhygienic prison water worsened the kidney pain. My blood pressure got worse too. By that time, I looked like one of those thin model girls from my previous weight of 150 lbs. My body asked for more nutritious food. We had to eat anything we could get, just like in the story called “Japan Khit Sit Takkatho Wae” (At The Japanese Military School). I, who loathed dirtiness had to eat water cress growing near the toilets and whatever else we could get. I needed to stay alive. Comparing myself with people who had to attend the Japanese Military Training during the war helped my mind to handle the situation, but not my health. One night, I felt like the whole world was spinning. I had to stay very still because I was so dizzy. I thought I would faint and die. I thought of my mother and there was an urge in my heart to see her. She would be terribly sad at the news of my death. All these years, I avoided doing anything silly to make her unhappy. So I told myself I could not make my mother unhappy by dying right now. I asked myself so many questions in my rambling mind. I asked what was so wrong for me wanting to build a democratic country which was able to keep abreast with economic development in other Asian countries. I wondered what was so wrong with being a member of NLD. I strongly believed that I did not do anything illegal. The only answer I could come up with was to have a democratic government as quickly as possible in our country to eradicate all the country’s sufferings. I suffered along with the colleagues jailed with me from stomach pain and dizziness, caused mainly by malnutrition. There was not enough medicine though the doctor came to see me every morning. The prison authority did not say anything when I asked why we were not allowed to contact home and why we were being kept there. Then the news came that some people from our group had just resigned from the NLD party. They would probably be sent back home. I did not have hard feelings against them because I understood their hardship. I knew some of them were mothers who were very sick and had little children at home. I could understand the pain they suffered from being away from the homes they cared for. It was true that I also wanted to go home. I did not want to suffer these terrible conditions any longer. There were so many mornings that I had to just swallow my saliva when I saw the wardens eating Moh Hin Kha (Rice vermicilli with fish soup). There was only a bottle of water for my breakfast. No one would believe when I said I made a candy last for ten days. It was true. My strategy to was put the candy on my tongue and drink water. Then I kept the remainder carefully from ants for the next time. That was why I wanted to go home. What I knew was they had to prove the crimes anyone was accused or suspected of committing. They could not hold anyone in custody more than a month. When a sixty-year-old lady in our group asked the authorities “What kind of crime were we detained and arrested for?” they said they did not arrest us and put us here. “So why did you guys bring us and put us here?” she then asked. “You would cause unrest if you were outside”, they said. Actually, we were standing firm and legally under the policy and guidance of the NLD. We did not want any unrest in our country. We worked for non-violence, reconciliation and co-operation, which were the objectives of NLD. However, we wanted to go home. It was very obvious to us that those who could return home were the ones who signed resignation papers. Even though the authorities denied it was not, the answer was clear. Every time we asked to be sent home they replied that being able to go home totally depended upon on ourselves. What should I do? Then I made a firm decision. We would march together till we gain our goal, democracy. We have to tie our hands together for strength. Burma, 2000

Daw Let Let remains active in her party despite her ordeal in detention. AFTER THE CEASE-FIRE by Say Meh One month after the March 1995 cease-fire agreement between the Karenni National Progressive Party (KNPP) and the State Law and Order Restoration Council (Slorc), the Slorc broke the agreement. Since the agreement was broken, the Karenni people who face the oppression of the Slorc are mostly women and children. A total of about 200 Karenni villages were relocated by force to Shataw city and the people were used, by force, as porters, just like cows and buffaloes. Women were told to work during day-time and were raped by the soldiers at night-time. Elderly people who could not work were killed or left to die. There was not enough food to eat. Those who were ill, were not treated. There were many cases of malaria, diarrhoea and fever, and new-born babies and mothers were not given medicines. Many people died. When women and children could no longer bear the brutality of the Slorc, they escaped and fled to the border. Eighty percent of people living in the Karenni camps are women and children. The conditions of women and children, who escaped from near death to Thai-Burma border area are deplorable. The escapees face so many problems; homelessness, illness and disease, food shortages and so on. It is the women and children who are faced with the tragedies of malaria and diarrhoea everyday. There is at least one death, every day, although it was much worse when they first arrived in 1996. Many children were orphaned and many women were widowed. Everybody knows that their troubles are caused by Burma’s terrible military leaders. Our Karenni leaders, who have also experienced the brutality and deviousness of the Slorc, still possess great hopes that one day, freedom, human rights and democracy will be restored to our country. When this time comes, we will be able to return to our own homes in our villages. The Karenni National Women’s Organisation (KNWO) was founded on the Thai-Burma border a few years ago, in recognition of the fact that so many Karenni women and children suffer from the brutalities of the Slorc. In Karenni state, it is mostly the women who bear the brunt of Burmese military oppression. We recognise the importance of the KNWO and the need for Karenni women to participate in the development of the Karenni land and peoples. Women have an obligation to participate alongside men in every aspect of national affairs. Many women know the saying that ‘the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world’ and we know that we will be able to achieve so much more if men and women participate together, united. In order for women to be able to participate at every level, and in order that there be more consideration and concern over women’s affairs, a Karenni women’s organisation was formed. Karenni women aim to work towards unity amongst grass roots women by working together, hand in hand with each other. Karenni women also aim to enjoy equal opportunities with men and to communicate with other women’s organisations from around the world. We need to let people around the world know of the problems faced by Karenni women at the hands of the Slorc. Karenni women must also be proud of their culture and religion and work towards eliminating religious and cultural discrimination. With these aims and objectives, the Karenni National Women’s Organisation was founded on the 10th of March, 1993. Should not Karenni women try to fight against the people who oppress them and their peoples? The Thai-Burmese border, 1998

Say Meh also wrote “Searching for a Lost Father”. Everyone’s Duty by Ma Vedar I am a revolutionary. My hand holds a piece of paper containing my father’s address. I feel tense and disturbed looking at this paper which bears my father’s address and occupation. I don’t even know how my family is and whether they are all well. I ask myself why my father worked for the military government, against his own ideals, in denial of all of our feelings. I had so admired my father my whole life because I knew very well that he was a very fine man with many good qualities. He had his own plantation and sold produce from that for his livelihood. He sold at very affordable prices. He worked hard and honestly as a government employee.* He was humble but strict. He was well known for his forthrightness and his intolerance of lies. (The only exception was that my mother’s relatives thought of him as overly confident in himself.) In his free time he would read books and sometimes, practice alchemy. He shared with us what he learned from the books he read. He had many books that were no longer sold in the bookshops. He farmed, but his books on agriculture were fewer than the books on politics and other topics. I had witnessed him in action as an able speaker and entertainer at work functions. After his “problems” (with the government) he was not allowed to participate at these functions and always seemed to miss out on promotions. However, whether it was purely from luck or not, he held his job until 1997 even though both of his children have been involved in politics. I had been unhappy about his work in the government, though some people would have called me crazy to think like this. He himself told us repeatedly about the feelings of workers and their lack of rights. He was barely surviving while he worked for the government anyway. Nonetheless, he did not try to escape from that situation. I do not know why he did not try at all. Fifteen years ago, he noticed me reading Gandhi’s writings. It sparked off a long conversation: He told me to go for what I really wanted and while doing that, to have wisdom and courage to stand for what was right. In speaking to me like this, he acknowledged me as an intelligent human being, as if he saw me as a potential academic. His encouragement gave me a lot of strength. Many people mistakenly equate intelligence with formal education but the contradictions are obvious. The examples of three men in my community always provoked my thoughts on this: The drunkard who had received so many distinctions while at school, Ko Than Oo who could never fill his family’s stomach with his government servant job, and U Tha Noe, who had had no formal education but got rich in the pawn business. I came to accept that formal education was not the only way to improve people’s intelligence, at least, not for every one of us. My father had previously experienced the government violence when he participated in a workers’ demonstration. He often spoke angrily about people who were treated unfairly and violently. But he talked about “compassionate peace” as the means to oppose it. This view caused our relationship to turn sour and tense when I enthusiastically became involved in 1988 pro-democracy uprising. I was even kicked out of the house for that. My father who I loved dearly wouldn’t directly criticise the political situation in Burma. But I remember very well that he did talk about the political situation and conditions of other countries. When my father allowed his friends in the military-backed political party to use his house in the 1990 elections, my friends lost some faith in me. I was so embarrassed. I hated my father and his friends for this. He admonished me every time he saw me - my activism made me notorious in government circles yet he was concerned for my survival. I vividly remember my tears every time he tried to reprove me. But I understood he did that for so many reasons. Right now, I wonder how many people like my father are in Burma. In our country, we’ve had so many losses on so many fronts. We can’t even gather in groups of more than five people, can’t go anywhere as we like, can’t read what we want to read. We have no rights to say anything, not a word when one’s land is taken or confiscated, and can’t grieve or mourn openly when a loved one dies. So many things happen without any respect for the law. We can’t bury or cremate our dead without interference. We have no rights to defend ourselves if treated unfairly. ** While I believe and hope that all of us have the same feelings and resentments, I am one of those birds that actually tried to fly and spread my wings. Despite persecution and imprisonment, I worked for what I believed in, I went for what I really wanted. My father has not been jailed, yet he remains a prisoner within in his own country. The Thai-Burmese border, 2000

Notes: * In Burma, civil servants receive such low pay that they often have to have another source of income. Some work at other jobs outside of office hours, while others take bribes. ** Under the military government, strict rules have been implemented concerning many aspects of social life, including funeral arrangements. Families of activists are targeted for greater harassment, to the point that they are discouraged from mourning if the deceased was an activist or known rebel.

Ma Vedar is the pseudonym of an activist and former political prisoner who continues to work for women’s rights. WHAT DOES DEMOCRACY MEAN TO US - BURMESE WOMEN?! by Nang Lao Liang Won It is undeniable that Burmese women have been actively and politically involved in the making of democracy for nearly a decade now. So, what does this democracy actually mean to us? Does it mean the mere toppling of the military dictators in Rangoon, or does it mean starting out on the process of establishing a government, in which all adult citizens have themselves chosen their representatives, and form a parliament? For Burmese wo-men both inside and outside of the country, democracy should mean even far more than this. We should ask ourselves do we really understand the meaning of democracy? Without a clear understanding of what the real democracy that we want to achieve is, women will continue to be like the blind Ponnas1, feeling different parts of an elephant, and concluding what an elephant is. I don’t think we women just want to taste/feel small parts of democracy; I am absolutely certain we want the whole of democracy. Why is it so important to understand the full meaning of democracy? Because we want a democracy in which we can exercise women’s rights! Well, we may be asked which movement is more important at present, democracy or women’s rights. The answer for this question must be both -- especially for those living inside Burma who have never heard of the term ‘women’s rights’ and for those who are not very clear about the meaning of democracy. There can be no real democracy without recognition of women’s rights. These two terms, although having similar natures and directions, should not be separated in our struggle. These two movements, the democracy and women’s rights movements, should go hand in hand. What does the term WOMEN’S RIGHTS entail? Briefly, it means that women, by virtue of them being human beings with dignity and worth equal to that of men, are entitled to the enjoyment and protection of all the rights and freedoms set out in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, without distinction of any kind, like race, colour, language, religion, political or other opinions, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. These rights are also enshrined in the principle of democracy -- a society in which all citizens are treated as equals with no class distinction. Therefore, without exercising women’s rights, democracy won’t be complete as a whole. This is what we believe. It is said that Burmese women have traditionally enjoyed a high status, exercising most of the same basic rights as men. They have not only been in control of family finances, but have also taken an active role in private business matters. It is also a fact that, for decades, foreign writers and observers have been impressed by the freedom Burmese women enjoy and have expressed it in their writings. Yes, in some ways, women may control businesses in the village markets or the local markets but they are not yet in the regional or national market places. So... we must ask ourselves if it is true or not whether the power structures that exist in our country are predominantly male in origin; and whether this question rings true for all women in Burma, particularly those living in rural areas and ethnic areas. Sadly, we have found that this idea about women’s equality and participation in economic affairs only applies to urban middle-class society and is far from being true for girls in rural and ethnic communities. At the same time, and ironically, urban women are still under-represented in most traditionally male occupations, such as government administrations and other public decisionmaking positions. Urban women are sometimes effectively barred from joining a few professions, for example, aviation. Due to the burden of extreme poverty, which is particularly widespread in ethnic lands, as well as the constant ethnic violence and human rights abuses perpetrated by the ruling military junta, women and young girls have been forced to leave home, and have been trafficked to neighbouring countries, often to Thailand to work in highly exploitative occupations on construction sites, in brothels and in factories. Also, a 1997 US Government report on democracy, human rights and labour in Burma, emphasises that child abuse, the exploitation of child labour is rampant, and that there is no protection of children’s rights by authorities. In addition, many young girls are being sexually exploited and abused in the sex industry. Added to this, lack of information and education on health care, and diseases such as TB, STD’s and HIV/AIDS has left young women vulnerable to the risk of contracting such communicable diseases. If... all Burmese women were able to enjoy all their basic, equal rights, the kind that are claimed by some more privileged people, there wouldn’t be such an influx of trafficked women and girls. There would be fewer women who were forced to migrate to neighbouring countries; these women would be less vulnerable to exploitation, abuse and rights violations for their illegal status; they wouldn’t be ostracised by the society both at home and in the host country because of the nature of their occupation; they would have equal education opportunities and equal choice of occupation and work. It is time for us women to take account of deep-rooted cultural and social norms, beliefs and prejudices about Burmese women -- and change them. Also, it is time for us to educate those who are still new to the term women’s rights so that all women are treated like human beings with dignity, and without recourse to their ethnic origin, age, class, and occupation. Plus, before it’s too late, everyone must take serious measures against the trafficking of Burmese women and children, which is a very serious human rights abuse, and such a common experience for many Burmese women. It is also time for all women to voice their immediate concerns on all of the other abuses of women’s rights, and publicise them. From the perspective of a Burmese woman, and on behalf of all Burmese women, we suggest that democracy should mean a country with a government that respects all citizens regardless of their gender, language, ethnic origin, age, class, and where people can exercise, not only their rights of citizenship such as freedom of speech, freedom of religion and association, freedom of opinion but also all economic, social, cultural, civil and political rights. Democracy should mean a government which is truly representative of the population, which would mean working towards 50% of members of parliament being women. It will not be achieved overnight; it involves educating both women and men, providing women with strong role models and opportunities for them to take part in decisionmaking at all levels: village, local, state and national. We are lucky that the democratic principle is deeply valued by our citizens. We also know that the pro-democracy groups spend a lot of time in spreading information about democracy, in order to develop the population’s understanding and potential. All of this information and education must be gender sensitive; all of the information and education must include and involve women. Democracy for only half a population is only half a democracy. “Unless women can fully participate in political and other decisionmaking, democracy cannot be achieved or effectively maintained.” - Gertrude Mongella, Secretary-general, Fourth World Conference On Women (1995). Chiangmai, 1998

Note: 1 Brahmins in a folk story where blind men grope an elephant in an effort to define it.

Nang Lao Liang Won is still an advocate for the rights of women of Burma, including refugees and migrant workers. Since this article was first published, she has had travel to many countries around the world to expose the human rights abuses perpetrated against women in Burma. University of Real Life by Naw Cho Cho Khaing I had to come to Thailand to earn extra money, as my salary as a teacher in our village in Burma was barely enough for me to survive, let alone support any further education. I could not even dream about being a university student as I worked at whatever job I could get in Thailand. I faced so many hardships. I sometimes thought about my siblings and my mother wondered how would they survive back there. I could not send any money back home for my family and could not save up money for my education. Then I got to know about an organization called the Social Action for Women (SAW) and I joined them to work as a paid volunteer32. SAW is an organization that helps girls and women from Burma who have been sold into brothels and are facing hardship in Thailand. I did not know or understand anything about politics when I first joined this organization. I began to realize that the economic situation in my country was really bad as I saw so many girls and women sold into brothels and working as prostitutes. I myself was far away from being a university student even though I eagerly wanted to be educated. I worked as a volunteer for 2 years while I studied in the “University of Real Life”. Through my experiences with SAW, I learned that women and girls are suffering and facing hard lives because of economic problems that are a consequence of the political problems in our country. It is not wrong to say that I started to have an interest in politics because of these experiences. I became a teacher to the children of illegal migrant workers from Burma. I came to realize that the aim of being a teacher here and back in my village is very different. In my village, I taught because I wanted to earn money to go to university but here I taught because I wanted these children to be educated and wanted to share what little I had - education. I would like to share the stories of some of my students here in my little school. People from Burma are migrating not only to Thailand but also to other countries to work despite so many difficulties and hardship. About 5 or 6 years ago, only single people came to work in Thailand but now entire families are migrating to work over here. They cannot afford the luxury of thinking about their children’s education, as they have to prioritise food in their stomachs first. Thus the children have no chance of being educated. Some children become adults here, get married, have children of their own, and become just like their own parents, working to fill their children’s stomachs. I thought that I should give them some education while I contemplate an answer to the problems of our country. Since then, I became a teacher in a primary school for children of illegal migrant workers who live in areas around Mae Sot. The school is located near the quarters of illegal migrant workers from Burma. It has a tin roof, concrete floor, and bamboo strip walls to protect from the rain. The school is the size of 2 standard size classrooms and more than 100 students attend it. There are not

32 “Paid” volunteers are workers who do not receive a salary but an allowance to cover basic living expenses. It is a common practice amongst groups that receive little or irregular funding. enough desks and we have only 3 teachers. On my first day as a teacher there, I felt very sad to see the condition of my students’ lives. Why was this happening? This is how the daily lives of people are affected by economic crisis, poverty, forced labor and human rights violations perpetrated by the military regime. More than 100 illegal migrant workers live in the area near the school. Most families were crowded up in the small rooms of the workers quarters. I have to see their hard lives. I wonder how they can be satisfied to live their whole lives like this. They cannot go anywhere freely even on their holidays, as they are illegal in this country. Some children who come to my school have to take care of their younger siblings while they study. They are not just older siblings to their younger ones but parents as well. Some parents discourage their children from going to school saying, “Education won’t fill your stomach, only work.” I cannot blame these parents as they also have very little education and knowledge. That is why I am so eager to give them to an opportunity to learn. There is a family of 6 children that lives near the school area. The husband married another woman so the wife has been left with all the children and the struggle to feed them. The eldest daughter is about 12 years old and her younger sister is about 10 years old. The older one was my student but she had to drop out even though she wanted to study. She had to pick watercress and sell that around the neighborhood so that she could have money to buy rice for her family. I felt so heavyhearted about her future. Another 12-year-old girl was sent to SAW’s orphanage where I was teaching. She told me, “I am from Hlaing Bwe village in Karen State. I went to school until grade 4 and I have 4 siblings. I had to work in a teashop washing dishes for 3,000 kyat33 a month since my father could no longer afford to send me to school. I also had to stay in that shop. After about 4 months, my mother came and took all the salary due to me. But instead of taking me back to our house, she brought me to Thailand to work in a Thai house in Mae Sot. Two months later, I accidentally broke a mannequin doll of the owner when I was trying to help close the shop. The owner said I had to pay 1,600 baht for that and if not, she would tell the police to arrest me. SAW came to rescue me by paying that money and brought me here.” She became one of my hard working students. In another incident, I overheard that one of my students who was only 14 years old had eloped with a boy. I could not believe it so I went to her mother and asked “What happened, is it true that she eloped?” “Yes, she did with the boy from next door,” her mother said. I saw her sitting next to her mother with a sad face. I asked her, “Why do you want to get married when you are so young?” She just looked at her mother’s face when I asked her that question. “Yes, I myself told her to get married because I can no longer feed all of them anymore. I have 12 children and I am giving only sugar syrup to my youngest since I cannot afford to buy milk powder,” was her mother’s reply. I then asked the mother, “Why did you have so many children while you are not financially well off?” The mother said, “I did not know how to stop having children. I have never heard of contraceptives before anyway.”

33 About US$3. I realize that this is because we lack education on family planning. I believe when a country is really poor it not only affects the education of younger generations but also is a severe setback to the country’s development. I can no longer sit back and do nothing about it with our country’s political situation when I know this is what people have to live with. My thoughts are devoted to how we can change our country into one that is peaceful, developed, and able to meet the needs of people. The Thai-Burmese border, 2002

Naw Cho Cho Khaing struggles to continue her work despite problems with security and resources. Hpakant: A Small Town by Choun Hpakant is located in Kachin State, the northern part of Burma. It is also a place that produces the best high quality jade in Burma. A small river, the Uru, flows through the town from north to south and is surrounded by beautiful green mountains. The ethnic Kachin lived happily in this town and made their living by traditional farming. Hpakant was once a town of few people, tranquil with the songs of birds. Today, however, Hpakant is crowded with rich jade merchants, Chinese business people who make deals with the military regime, military men, workers, poor people and heroin users. Many different people from every part of Burma come to make their living in Hpakant now. Each with expectation Wrapped in contemplation Moving to and fro To all places they will go Will success be theirs to show? There are many young people who take the wrong path because of a general lack of proper education. Hpakant has various forms of entertainment and recreation which attracts many young people. Young people come to Hpakant with the expectation of discovering jade and getting rich quickly. Some parents who come to work in Hpakant also think they can earn more than enough for their children’s education. Young students also think that they can save enough from working in Hpakant to pay for their school fees when universities open again. They are full of imagination and excitement in anticipation of going back to school with friends. Some of the people who come to Hpakant have already graduated but are unemployed. They make their way to Hpakant hoping to survive the sky-high commodity prices which they worry they will not be able to overcome. Most of them are young people from Kachin State. The river flows copiously purifying the mind Though blocked by egoists with grand design They push and grab for even a sliver They are destroying the Uru River. Before Kachin people wrote poetry, songs and prose about the beauty of the River Uru. However, business people who make deals with the military regime are digging out jade not only from the soil but even from the bed of the Uru River. They repeatedly block and re-route the Uru in order to take jade for their own personal gain. The Uru was the life- blood of the people and animals in the area, but it is now irreversibly damaged and polluted by jade mining. The military regime acts irresponsibly to the polluting and destroying of the beautiful River Uru and the environment. Various ways of enjoyment Various kinds of people Come converged in the massage rooms. All men and boys who come to work here have to demolish the hills and mountains with heavy machinery in order to get what they want. The girls have to carry heavy clods and dump it somewhere else. Their lives are so tough and they have to work so hard, whether it is raining or under the scorching sun. Yet they barely make a living out of their daily earnings because of very high living and commodity prices. Some young ones who cannot work tough jobs or have no experience, normally take the easy way of making money. A lot of young men ended up dead after they smuggled drugs for a living and they themselves became hooked. And many girls are becoming interested in working in high paying massage rooms. They sell their bodies to everybody who comes to the massage rooms. Their young lives are drowned deeper and deeper in the business of prostitution. Second Hong Kong alike Take up a guise in itself Swallow and gulp up Many lives of young ones. Unlike the day they arrived to Hpakant with so much energy, many young people, boys and girls, end up as prostitutes or drug users and fail to fulfil their dreams and expectations. Our country’s future generations end up in gutters and alleys. That is how our future leaders are wasted in the world of vice at the so-called ‘second Hong Kong’. Burma, 2000

Choun is a young Kachin woman who has lived and worked in Hpakant. Since this article was first published, she began working undercover to document the effects of business expansion by the Burmese military and Chinese interests in her state. Hold on Friends, Soon We Will Reach Home by Hser Tu Kaw Tha Blay I have six brothers and sisters and I live in one of the Karen refugee camps. My parents use to live in Karen State, but since 1980 my family came and lived on the Thai-Burma border. In 1981, I was born in K’Htee Hta village in Thailand on the Salween river bank. I am the third child in my family. I grew up on the Thai-Burma border and I studied in Kaw Thoo Lei school.1 I finished high school in the refugee camp. My family stayed on the border, but the situation was not very good. There were many battles, so we had to move from place to place. My family stayed in K’ Htee Hta one year, moved to Mae Lae Hta for three years and stayed in Pu Mya Lu for one year. In 1988, my family moved and stayed on the Moei river bank in a village called Thu Mwe Hta. In the village we did not have a school, so our brothers and sisters had to go to the Kaw Thoo Lei Center High School. The No. (2) Center High School was in Htoo Wah Lu village so sometimes, we called it Htoo Wah Lu high school. My parents bought a small boat, a “Honda” for us and we went to school in the morning and came back in the afternoon. It took half an hour to go to school by boat. I remember when I was in fourth standard there was the Twe Pah Wee Kyo war and the State Law and Order Restoration Council (SLORC)2 helicopters came around the area every day for nearly one month. One day while I was studying at school I heard a sound like an elephant’s roar and for a few minutes I heard bombs exploding. My school closed and my brother, sister and I came back home in our small boat. There were no other boats on the river because the helicopters were dropping bombs everywhere in Karen State, on the river and on the land. The helicopters were loud and noisy, like a herd of elephants. At that time I was very young and I had never seen so many helicopters. I liked the sound of the helicopters very much and while we were riding the boat, I watched the bombs dropping. I was very happy, and I enjoyed myself very much. When we arrived home my parents were waiting for us. They were very worried for us because the some people were killed and some injured. I became afraid only after my parents told us about this. In 1992, my family became refugees in Thu Mwe Hta. My family had stayed in Thu Mwe Hta refugee camp one year when the Thai authorities asked the refugees to move to Mae Paw Mu Hta. One year later, we moved again to Bah Soe Gay Lu. We had to move to many places but my older brother, sister and I studied in Htoo Wah Lu, built a small house, and stayed together. In 1995, there was civil war near our school area so the school closed and we came back home to Bah Soe Gay Lu. I heard that the Democratic Karen Buddhist Army (DKBA)3 and SLORC were very strong and attacked the Karen National Union (KNU)4 headquarters Ma Ner Plaw. One day, I heard Ma Ner Plaw fell. I felt very sad and I thought about what I was going to do next. I was worried that I had no place to study. Ma Ner Plaw also was the longest standing KNU headquarters. It was established in 1975. Usually we celebrated special days there and we had big sport races there. Different schools came and met together to celebrate the special days. We helped each other and were very happy. I had never been inside Karen State but when I went there I felt like I was inside Karen State. I felt that I had my own Karen State with my real government and was very happy. So when I heard it fell I was very upset about losing the most important place for us. I could not think too much because I loved that place and I did not want to lose it. Until now, every time I think about Ma Ner Plaw I miss my friends, my school, my teacher, and all the areas near Ma Ner Plaw. On the same day that Ma Ner Plaw fell, in the evening the DKBA crossed over the Salween river and shot into our camp. My family and I were very afraid and we took our bags and climbed the mountains. It was a terrible time, we could not see anything. Nobody allowed us to use torchlight. We slept in the forest. We did not carry food, so our neighbor gave us some. My father was on the camp committee so he did not have time to look after us because he had to plan for the refugees. Every morning we continued our journey. It took three weeks to arrive at the place where we set up our house. During our journey the DKBA ambushed us on the way. Five people died and more than ten people were injured. It was a very difficult journey and we went day by day with fear. At that time, I was not so scared because I had experienced running and facing fighting for many years. I wanted to do something to help my people and become stronger. Even if we stay in the refugee camp we still have to move depending on the Thai government. But I would say that the situation became better. Since I was born, every place I have lived in has been destroyed the SLORC and DKBA. In my heart I wanted to become a person active in politics and help my people. I had no chance to do political work staying in the camp. I decided to become a teacher and help the children with education. After I finished high school I continued studies in the Personal Development Course (PDC). While I was studying in PDC I became more interested in the women’s organization. I am a woman and I saw many women in the refugee camp that did not have education or a chance to learn. Some women face domestic violence and I wanted to help them. I also thought if I worked in the women’s organization I would have more opportunity to help. So I became a member of Karen Women’s Organization (KWO) at the end of 1998. I studied, if there was a workshop about women I also went. Luckily I got the opportunity to go to Bangkok to become an intern at an NGO. It was very good to stay in this office. I had more international experience and more chances to learn. I had a great opportunity to go to the Philippines and share our situation with other people. I learned many things. I was more confident to participate in political work. After I finished the internship program I decided to work in Karen Women’s Organization office. As I want to help the Karen women to develop themselves I hope I can improve my people’s life. I have faced a lot of problems since I grew up so I do not want my people to face the same difficulties. I want my people to be free from trouble. I want to encourage all the women in Burma and in the refugee camps to try very hard even if our lives are difficult. We must keep on struggling until there is peace and democracy in Burma and we can stay in our State with our self-determination and be happy. I have never seen how the real Karen State looks because I spent my life on the border and in refugee camps. I hope to see my pretty Karen State that is always green and beautiful as soon as possible. I believe that my other friends also would like to go back to their State and enjoy it. I believe that if we keep in touch and work in unity, it will not be long before there is peace and we can go home. The Thai-Burmese border, 2000 Notes 1 A school run by Karen National Union in Karen controlled area. 2 The Burmese military regime SLORC is now known as the State Peace and Development Council (SPDC). 3 The Democratic Karen Buddhist Army (DKBA) is an SPDC-sponsored group which split from the Karen National Union in 1995. 4 The Karen National Union (KNU) is the main ethnic Karen resistance group.

Hser Tu Kaw Tha Blay was 19 years old when this story was first published. She has been a refugee all her life. She still dreams of the day when she can return “home” in peace and safety. In the meantime, she continues to be based on the Thai-Burmese border where she works with women’s groups. Suicidal Mission by Tin Htar Swe I looked at my watch; it was nearly half past four in the morning. Ratchaburi Hospital remained still in the dark. The commotion caused by a flurry of reporters in front of the hospital earlier in the evening had subsided as they laid in wait for the moment to come. I looked inside the hospital staff’s gym, which had become our makeshift office. I saw some reporters lying down on the floor, with some on the exercise machines but the long night had caught up with them and many of them were gently dozing off. I walked passed the half asleep fellow journalists and approached the command centre. I could feel the cooler than normal January breeze. I pulled the collar of my thin tee shirt and wished I had brought a jacket with me. As I approached to the centre I could feel my blood pressure rising. The atmosphere was tense and eerie. At 2 am, just a few hours before the commandos stormed the hospital, Lt. General Thaweep Suwanasingha, commander of the First Army Region, told the press that the hostage-takers had asked for a helicopter to take them back to the base. Complying with their demand would mean the helicopter would have to fly over Burma and the army could not risk flying over the border into Burma. The message from the Army was clear and the man who was regarded as a hard line militarist by many people left the room flanked by his aides with an expressionless face. I looked up at the top floor of the command centre, five officers, two leaning against the verandah rail, were standing and talking casually. In front of the building, where the cars were parked, the two television presenters from the Army television channel were getting ready for the morning news broadcast. Earlier the police had asked all television crews to stop live broadcasts, citing security reasons. I stopped and watched the television presenters to ascertain whether the ‘all too at ease’ atmosphere indicated a soft approach to end the hospital siege. Early in the evening we heard from a highly placed source that the officers were contemplating using force and Thai Special Forces were preparing for an onslaught. If I were looking for any clues for how this crisis was going to end, the people around the command centre certainly did not give away very much. Soon after the press briefing, the media was ordered to move away from the hospital fence and the security along the fence was taken over by the Military Police. We were confined to a certain area. As I approached the police officer standing in front of the Centre he looked at me suspiciously and refused to say anything. None of the officers seemed to want to talk or seemed to care or wanted to speculate on the reasons that drove the young men to do what they did. Just a few hours after ten armed men took control of the Ratchaburi hospital, taking hundreds of patients and medical staff hostage at gunpoint, Lt. General Thaweep Suwanasingha was quick to point his finger at the Karen rebels who call themselves God’s Army. The group, made up of members of the ethnic Karen is a splinter group from the KNU and led by 12 year old twin brothers said to have supernatural powers. God’s Army was born shortly after Burmese government troops overran the KNU’s 4th Brigade in the area in 1997. Since October, God’s Army has been sheltering five gunmen from the dissident group called the Vigorous Burmese Student Warriors. The group stormed the Burmese Embassy in Bangkok last year, taking about 90 people hostage. In exchange for the hostages’ lives the students were given a safe passage. They fled across the Burmese border, taking refuge among God’s Army at Kamaplaw. Furious, the junta forces advanced on their mountainous camp, sending hundreds of refugees fleeing to Thailand. In the past week, the Burmese troops had shelled Karen hideouts across Ratchaburi and God’s Army camp in Kamerplaw. The Karen guerrillas accused the First Army Region’s 9th Infantry Division of collaborating with the Burmese Army in bombarding Kamerplaw camp and other God’s Army positions with mortars for three straight days. Tens of thousands of Karen refugees, some seriously wounded, were pushing towards the Thai border following the Burmese Army’s renewed attacks on Kamerplaw. One of the gunmen said the main reason for their attack was retaliation for the deaths of 200 women and children under their protection by Thai artillery fire in the past weeks. During the press briefing the questions pertaining to the attacks carried out by Thai soldiers against the rebels from God’s Army were sidestepped by the General in command. Lt. General Thaweep’s explanation was that he was merely defending the nation’s sovereignty. In the areas under the jurisdiction of the Ninth Army Division under the First Army, the security forces have been accused of having commercial interests on the opposite side and that they often compromised Thailand’s security interest for their own. I looked at my watch again and the time was 05:15. Soon we would see dawn breaking. My mood changed momentarily. The contemplated pre-dawn attack might not happen after all, I decided to walk back to the hospital. As soon as I approached to the hospital fence, there were three loud explosions from the hospital. The dozing journalists jumped up and ran for cover. I ran with them. Suddenly the whole area became shrouded with smoke. The commandos rushed from their positions to the main hospital building and several rounds of gunfire and more explosions were heard from inside the building. A commotion took place in front of our makeshift workstation. An armed police came running to the building and shouted angrily at a cameraman who was filming the scene in front of the hospital. He was ordered to switch his camera off. The man in uniform looked he was ready to kill the guy if he had to. At the last press conference held at 3:10 am, Thaweep asked the camera crews not to televise live pictures of the events at that time and they agreed to his request. I joined the other terrified journalists and lay flat on the ground near the building. For the next half-hour a fusillade of automatic weapons fire filled the air, finally tapering off to sporadic shooting. The raid lasted just under one hour. At a press conference held at the conclusion of the raid, the First Army Chief announced that nine hostage-takers were killed and the tenth escaped. He said five officers taking part in the operation were injured but all the hostages were safe. Within minutes the rescuers were paraded in formation through an army of reporters as onlookers, volunteers and fellow officials applauded them on their successful mission. The 24-hour drama in Ratchaburi ended in widespread praise inspite of many unanswered questions. The prevailing attitude in Ratchaburi is that justice had been served. The military government praised Thailand’s action but Bangkok based human rights groups condemned the Burmese military junta as the root cause of the hostage taking at the hospital. “The incident is a result of the violence that the Burmese military and its militias routinely inflict on innocent civilians in Burma,” the statement said. Prime Minister Chuan Leekpai acknowledged that as long as Burma still have problems and refugees still cross over, Thailand may not be able to avoid this sort of problem. The hospital seizure reflected the deep frustration of Burmese dissidents along the border, it is a culmination of the long history of atrocities committed by the regime on its own people. All officials described the hostage crisis as an act of terrorism because the gunmen have targeted a hospital and put hundreds of lives in danger. While it is easy to dismiss the violent takeover as terrorists act, nonetheless, it’s hard not to wonder what drove 10 Burmese and Karen young men on the suicidal mission. London, 2000

Tin Htar Swe is a radio journalist. She has worked in Asia, Europe and North America. Days of Hope by Swe Swe Dearest Phayphay, Although we had been apart from your loving kindness for nine years, you are always in our heart. We are very sad but proud. I will never forget 9 November, 1990. When I think about what had happened, it is just like yesterday. I am mature enough to know that all of us have to die one day. I know that you died for a noble reason but until today we are not fully consoled. I remember well it was about 10:45 p.m on United Nations Day, 24 October, 1990. You were told to go with them. They showed no warrant and as usual, they said “We like to question you. Please follow us.” You went with them with a clear conscience. Then we could not get any information of where you were. As the days went by, we felt the hot, hot flames in our heart. You had been taken away only with the clothes that you were wearing. About after seven days, maymay and mama tried to trace news of you, wondering if you were already in Insein Jail and if it was so, whether could we go and see you. Maymay and mama went to every home that had faced the same problem as us and asked about you. We even hoped against hope that one day you might just show up and come back. Only those with a human heart would be able to understand the way we felt. Then, after seventeen days, we learned that you would never ever come home to us. They said you died after 16 days while they were questioning you. They had taken you away from us forever although they said “just for a while”. Nothing could compare with our sorrow and bitterness. We all believed that your death was not normal and we know you had given your life resisting injustice. We, the whole family, collapsed because this tragedy was far more than we could comprehend. Please don’t think that we are weak, dear phayphay. We have wholeheartedly supported for your fight for democracy and human rights. We also knew that you would be someday or somehow arrested and imprisoned for your principles by these power abusers. For those reasons, we were prepared for long separation from you. We had even decided that we would proudly stand by you if you were locked up and bravely wait for you till you came home. But we were not prepared for this. There was much dissatisfaction within me. You had died at 9:45 a.m. on 9 November yet the so-called “authorities” had only informed us at about 4 p.m. the next day. Nevertheless, we had already learnt about you on the same evening when they brought your body to the mortuary at the Rangoon General Hospital. A friend who worked there and who knew you well gave us the news. We were inconsolable and saddened beyond words. At the mortuary, they only allowed mama to look at your body, they did not allow all of us to see you. There was no one to explain to mama about your badly bruised body. Mama only got inhumane responses. “Stop now. You ask too much and we cannot answer all your questions,” they rudely said. All these words stayed bitterly in our ears and hearts. To them you were the resisting opposition but to us you were the irreplaceable father who doted on us. I believed if people are loving, kind, have less arrogance and more humanity, we would not have to suffer like this. The truth is that there are so many people who face the same fate as us. Because of heartless people some families are separated by land and sea; some are separated by death. Phayphay, it was heartless to kill someone like you who worked for a political solution and had faith in justice. We did not even have the right to ask questions, they did not even allow anything that we politely asked. We requested them to let us have your body for five days because I was away in the countryside. Very late that night, they came to tell us that even this was not allowed. “You have to finish up everything before 1 p.m tomorrow.” they abruptly said. They also did allow us to bury your body for the sake of our koko, who was abroad and had not seen you for four years. Were we being treated as humans here? I feel so bitter and sad every time I think about this. I was lucky enough to make it to the cremation an hour before. I was not able to stand on my own feet when I saw what you had endured. I could not find anything to comfort and console myself. I could not believe how much weight you’d lost within those sixteen days, how terrible you looked. Only your face was left defiant. I fainted within seconds. When you were with us, you were always so kind and loving. It was the same loving kindness which you brought into your political activity. You kindly helped all those fighting for democracy and human rights. That was why you were respected, not only by youth wing of the National League for Democracy (NLD) but also by other different youth organizations. You had helped those who faced life-threatened situations, no matter which organization or party they were from. You tried to dissuade young people from resorting to armed struggle. Later you told us that you did this because you were so worried about their lives. What I most adored and respected in you was that you always stood for what is right and helped the weak ones. You made sacrifices not only for the young ones but also for all your colleagues. You took on dangerous responsibilities without causing trouble for anyone. You organized meetings between international journalists and worker, young monk, and students. You requested the international community to pressure the Burmese regime to negotiate with opposition groups. You also suggested all the groups request the Sangha Maha Nayaka to act as mediators between the regime and the opposition. You were behind all of these attempts. But you were very saddened about the way the regime handled the situation of monks who were on strike in Mandalay. Then you followed the orders from our country’s most senior monks to help spread their work to the whole nation. Later, I learnt from your colleagues that this monks’ movement was very effective because of your efforts. For all these reasons, your final journey was so well attended. The song “Kaba Makyaybu” echoed through cremation grounds when we brought you there. I was re- energized by that song and seeing the deep respect the youth had for you. They bore a banner: “Our Hero: U Maung Ko”. My strength was revived by the result of your loving kindness and affection for all of us. I really do not care about getting rich or wealthy. I am proud enough being your daughter. That is all I need to stand with dignity and strength. I will always value your dignified and loyal acts for everyone here on earth. I will proudly tell everyone that I am your daughter with my head held high. As your loving daughter, I will take on all the consequences of your actions, be they good or bad. I would like to inherit your loyalty, affection, courteousness, steadfastness and courage. The most important thing is to love and believe in justice and truth. “There have been a few brave people who sacrificed their lives for others in times of crisis so that the majority can fully live as human beings. You were a hero amongst these few brave ones and you have accomplished all your duties.” This eulogy that came from one of your comrades has given so much strength for us to go on. Our tear drops were turned into resolve to fulfil your beliefs. Though we have been wounded by ruthlessness, we will not harbour hatred towards these heartless ones. We will keep courage in our heart to fight injustice and repression. Many people have and still are making sacrifices. As your daughter, I have a duty to help and nurture these battered lives. Now I am braver than I used to be. It is because of our national leader, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, whom you trusted and respected so much. We now dare to believe in truth because of her invaluable inspirational words. “It will not be very worthwhile to be a human being if this person works for his or herself only then die. Therefore, do care for others and do not be selfish. A person who cares very much about others may die but their reputation will never die.” (Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, Kamawet, 16 December, 1988) “We ask for democracy and human rights, not for personal attacks and abuse of others. We ask for the people of Burma to be able to work and earn their living freely without fearing anything. All of us have to participate if we want these basic rights.” (Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, Head Office, Ma Oo Bin, 14 January, 1989) Though I have so much bitterness at losing these rights to live freely, I am always reminded to have good and noble attitude towards others by one of her speeches. “... truth and reconciliation go together. Once the truth has been admitted, forgiveness is far more possible. Denying the truth will not bring about forgiveness, neither will it dissipate the anger in those who have suffered… I don’t think that people will really thirst for vengeance once they have been given access to the truth …. but the fact that they are denied access to the truth simply stokes the anger and hatred in them. That their sufferings have not been acknowledged makes people angry.”1 Phaypahy, it is so true that we are still missing and thinking of you and what had happened to you. However, when we think about you, we do not think about revenge against your killers but try to attain the truth. And I strongly believe that there will be days we can claim your expectation of truth, justice, democracy and human rights.

Your daughter, Swe Swe

Burma, 2000

Glossary of Burmese Words Phayphay: father Maymay: mother Mama: elder sister Koko: elder brother Metta: loving kindness

Note: 1 Clement, Alan, “The Voice of Hope”, direct excerpt taken from the book, Penguin Book, p. 12, 1997

Senior NLD member U Maung Ko died in military custody during a high profile visit by an UN official whose mission was to check on rights abuses. The military claimed Maung Ko committed suicide. Political prisoners continue to die in Burma’s prisons. Despite promises to do so, the regime refuses to release most political prisoners, including those who have completed their sentences or are severely ill. Swe Swe, like many other people in Burma, continues to be denied the answers she seeks.

Neutral Thoughts by a Young Woman from Myanmar34 I'm not a political activist but I would like to express my feeling and point of view, which is neutral and balanced. Because I love my country and I want my country to be developed and improved in politics and economics. In my view, the first priority of most people inside the country is how to make or earn money for their survival because of high inflation. They can’t be involved in politics, even though they are feeling extreme hardship. They have to struggle to eat, to survive. Some people who live in Yangon are able get their salaries in FEC35 or US$ or some people work abroad to support their families in Yangon. Some have family members who are seamen who are able to send money home. Some people who work in government offices and can get “outside money” or some rich people can live easy-going lives. “Outside money” or “tea money” means the bribes paid for getting anything done in government departments. Now, some of the foreign companies have left the country because of high inflation or the military government’s lack of consistent policies and system. The Cabinet shake-ups in the military government cause some companies to close down and go back home when their “friends” lose influence in the government. The old Ministers may have already taken a lot of money from some businesses but their replacements may not want to continue providing favors to these businessmen. Even people living in Yangon, our capital and richest city, face hardship for their survival because of many problems like difficulty in finding jobs, the high costs of basic needs, lack of regular electricity and water supply, bad roads, low basic wages, etc. It is worse outside Yangon where there are more hardships. Most jobs available in the government service or foreign companies that provide a good salary and security are already “booked” by sons or daughters or close relatives of the Ministers or Generals. For example in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs where one may have the chance to be posted overseas, most staff are relatives of Ministers or Deputy Ministers or Generals or other senior army leaders. If all the important jobs are given based on who your father or uncle is without considering qualifications or ability, how does anything get done efficiently and properly? People living outside of the city suffer more hardship because they have no electricity, some places even have no access to safe water, and poor transportation and a big forced labor problem. For example, if the government wants to extend a new road near the village, the people from that village or neighboring village, have to supply one man or woman per house to work on that road without getting any money. People who couldn't

34 Pro-democracy activists usually refer to the country as Burma. The use of “Myanmar” instead of “Burma” and “Yangon” instead of “Rangoon” in this article indicates the apolitical attitude of the writer. 35 Foreign Exchange Certificates, recognised only in Burma. The market value of the FEC is almost on par with the US dollar. FECs are preferred since the kyat has been rapidly deteriorating in value in recent months. do forced labor have to pay money to hire others to work on their behalf. It is indirectly the same in Yangon, if the road needs to be repaired, the persons from local council36 collect money from homes on that road for the repairs. Most Burmese people are religious, patient and tolerate. These characteristics combine to make one submissive and able to withstand any kind of hardship. Most people are close- minded and afraid. They don't want to talk or discuss politics. They don't know much about human rights. Even the younger generation of educated persons don’t have detailed knowledge about human rights. Most have grown up under the shadow of the military government and they are used to living in that kind of hardship and under many constraints. The worst thing is that the people inside Burma can’t get accurate information from the media. The Burmese newspapers, TV and radio only announce government policies, report donations to pagodas or any Government Associations by the Generals or Ministers (sometimes they are the same!) etc. Sometime, in the newspapers, the articles written about Daw Aung San Suu Kyi are very rude. Personally, I accept that the military government doesn’t like Daw Suu, but I don't understand why they wrote such rude words about her. It is nonsense and meaningless. That's why most people read only foreign news, wedding news and death news. The government never reports on what is happening inside Burma. The people rely on information from the BBC or VOA or RFA37. When you go to any suburb at night-time, you can hear most houses have tuned the radio to BBC or VOA or RFA and turned it on high volume. I think it shows they don't want to listen to the government news. Even on Myanmar TV, when they show such news as a Minister attending the opening ceremony of a multimedia classroom, everybody knows it is nonsense because there will not be enough electricity to run it when the Minister leaves. Most young and educated people don't want to live in Burma. They always try to find out how to go overseas. Most rich people send their sons or daughter abroad for education. Some middle class parents let their children attend private IT schools or engineering schools that are run as joint ventures with Singaporean or Malaysian private education centers. It is good for those young people who can afford to pay school fees in such places. It is absolutely obvious that all the people don't like the military government and hope some changes will happen. Some doubt that this government can properly handle the country until changes happen and a democratic government is established. A democratic government will have to listen to the people's desire as much as they can and people will have rights to express their feelings.

36 The local “Peace and Development” Committees are different from local municipal councils. The local municipal councils in the cities collect rates but are so under- resourced and corrupt that they do not bother to implement the usual duties expected of local government. 37 The British Broadcasting Corporation, Voice of America and Radio Free Asia all have Burmese language services that broadcast into Burma. So does the Democratic Voice of Burma radio service. Finally, I wish and hope for a good future for my country, that it will become well developed and have a good democratic government, good infrastructure and that people can eventually overcome their feeling of hardship and hatred. Sydney, 2002

The writer was born in 1970, of Mon ethnic nationality. She graduated from university in Burma and worked there in a business firm for 7 years. She left Burma to resettle in Australia in 2001. A Daughter understands My dear mother and father, Longingly and with deep affection I go on my knees and pay my respects to you. Daily I pray for both of you and all my brothers and sisters - that all may enjoy good health and prosperity. I am well. I have written many letters home during the last three years that I have been in this country. Very likely they have been intercepted and you have not received them. Allow me now to express my deepest feelings and gratitude to you. You are always in my thoughts. I have had surgery for my ears and when my hearing recovered - it was the happiest day. For 13 years in Burma both my ears were impaired and I lived with this problem. I couldn't hear properly when people spoke to me and suffered insults at work. I could not afford medical attention even though I had worked for ten long years. The monthly salary I earned was never sufficient to see me through the month but I did whatever I could to support my mother and father. It was a privilege for me. My heart despairs for all our people who have to go hungry, who cannot get medical attention, who are starved for education and I condemn the government that continues to subject the country to these conditions. I have continued my political activities here in this foreign country with my cousins and others who so earnestly want democracy and human rights restored to Burma. We have the freedom to express our thoughts, we have equal opportunity to work and study. The government and the people here help those in need. We do not have to be afraid if we do what is right and obey the law of the land. We can get legal aid if we are poor. Even those who are sent to prison are not treated as animals. They are treated like human beings. This is so different from the treatment I got when I suffered imprisonment for my political activities in Burma. We do not see soldiers with guns around the cities. We do not have spies watching every movement. As long as we obey the rules and act like civilized people we have nothing to fear. The rules and laws apply to all, rich and poor. If the highest authority is driving when he is drunk, he gets the same punishment that is prescribed for all. No one is above the law. How I wish things were different in Burma. My application for a protection visa is with the Immigration Minister. I hope and pray that he will have compassion and understanding for my situation. I have appealed to him. I have appealed to Amnesty International to help me also. They are very understanding. When Amnesty International had their Burma Campaign I performed a Burmese dance in front of a very big crowd. I was so proud I could show them something of our Burmese culture. My dear mother and father, I want you to know that I love and respect you very much. I could not hold back the tears when Ko MK phoned from Singapore informing me that he had read the disinheritance notice38 in the newspaper. No matter what the motivation for such action is, I will always love and honor both of you, my precious parents. I regret that the government has harassed you and my brothers and sisters because of me. Please be

38 Families of pro-democracy Burmese activists overseas, are frequently pressured to publicly disown their loved ones. Sometimes refusal to do so will be punished with imprisonment or loss of livelihood. brave and have faith. Truth and Justice will come to Burma one day. We have to make sacrifices. This is the sacrifice I am making - being separated from the ones I love. I am determined to continue with my efforts as part of the democracy movement for Burma. If I have to suffer for this, I will not have suffered in vain. I know how dangerous it is for me to return home. I fear for my life as long as this regime is in power. But I will not quit - not ever. Thank you mother and father. I will always love you and understand why you had to disown me. Your daughter in distress, Winnie

Sydney, 2002

“Winnie” sought asylum in Australia, but was denied the right to live in safety. She has appealed against the decision. She is a former political prisoner. One of her family continues to be imprisoned by the military authorities. True Story by Daw Hman I would like to share my own story. I would like to share this because I would like the rule of law to be recognized in Burma. I would like democracy to be a reality in my country. My own story was related to these desires. Firstly, I need to explain my background a bit. In 1988, people throughout Burma rose up against the ruling government for democracy. I was a civil servant then. I was arrested in my office in August 1989, suspected of having participated in the 1988 pro-democracy uprising. I was detained for 3 months at the police station in my hometown. That arrest was the catalyst to be involved in the pro- democracy movement with my heart and soul. I resigned as a civil servant when I was released from detention and I joined the National League for Democracy (NLD). I decided that I wanted democracy to flourish in Burma. You can imagine my elation when the NLD won most of the seats in the general election on May 27, 1990. Fifteen female candidates were elected in the elections. Although the ruling military regime of that time, the State Law and Order Restoration Council (SLORC), declared to the whole world that the election was free and fair, they ignored and dishonored the results. However, the regime did not ignore me at all. Even as I write this article, I am closely watched day and night by the military intelligence (MI). Only a few people dared to visit my house and befriend me as the MI also watched and questioned my friends and colleagues. I was detained several times for interrogation. When they did, they would grab me in public and force me into their car. Sometimes, the MI would knock on my door and asked me to come with them for a while but I could end up in prison for several months. I was treated and interrogated very inhumanely and impolitely to wither my personal dignity. I was never allowed to defend myself against these attempts at humiliation. In one incident, I traveled alone to attend the celebration of Union Day39 at the NLD’s central office in Rangoon. I brought some traditional longyis and clothes with me to exhibit at the celebration. All of them were products of our State. At one of the checkpoints, ten people in mufti stopped our bus and asked us to get off. All passengers were asked to wait on the roadside. Then the bus conductor said that all of us could get back on the bus after a twenty-minute search. We saw our bags were in disarray and checked our belongings. I discovered that one of my bags which was full of longyis was missing. I asked the bus driver about it but got no answer. I got off the bus to ask the group of people who did the search. They all were standing near the bus. I noticed the smell of alcohol as I approached them. I observed them for a while to see who was in charge and noticed two men with papers in their hands. I thought they could be officers on duty and asked, “Are you the one who would be able to answer my question?”

39 The anniversary of the Panglong Agreement, in which groups of many ethnic nationalities agreed to form the Union of Burma (February 12, 1947). One quickly turned to me, ready to hit me with his bare hand. He did not hit me but loudly said, “Don’t you know I am on duty and very busy. Arrest her.” To my surprise, they did really arrest me for simply asking a question. I thought I would ask to inform my family when I arrived at the police station so that they could bail me out. I also thought that even if they went so far as to bring me before the court I would hire a lawyer and would tell the court the truth. I believed I had the right to ask such a question in the first place, as it was my bag and property that went missing, so there was no reason to arrest me. I had to spend the night at the police station. I could not sleep as it was a cold winter and I had no blanket. I was wrestling with my own thoughts the whole night. I was not even allowed to contact my family and was brought to the court the next day. I could not see any visitors. In the court, the people who testified against me were not the same people that I saw the previous night. They testified that I had obstructed their duty as public servants by forcibly taking back my bags in mid-search. I testified that the statements they made were untrue and requested that I be able to hire a lawyer for my defense. No one really listened to what I said but I tried repeatedly to explain what had really happened on that day. They questioned me for about 30 seconds and I said, “I did not disturb their duties in any way. They had already searched the bus when I tried to ask them.” Even then, the judge only told me that he would note it down in the record. After that I was sentenced to 2 years with hard labor for obstructing the duty of public servants. The next day, I was handcuffed and sent to Prison. I was still not allowed to see my family. I was thinking on the way to prison that even though we had rules of law to protect public wealth, safety, and dignity in our own country, • I was not allowed to protect and defend myself with legal means. • No one was given any chance to defend me in court. • I was not even allowed to appeal and say that the testimonies given against me in the court were not true. It was obvious that the adage – “If you live lawfully, you will be safe and secure” meant nothing under this military regime. I felt very insecure and unsafe as I had witnessed and experienced untruthful testimonies against me, abuse of power, and no opportunity for defense or to assert my innocence. False evidence and the astounding allegation embittered me. I was shaken by this experience of justice ignored. My feelings were in turmoil. My Union Day Celebration trip to Rangoon was turned upside down. I was imprisoned for more than 18 months in prison. This was a personal omen to me that our country needs to become a better nation that recognizes the rule of law. Only then we all would have justice, equality, safety, and peace within the county. And our new generations would be able to experience the real taste of freedom. In a democracy, the legislative, executive and judiciary are the pivots or main pillars of the country that work independently of each other. To protect the interest of the people, the court system of a country shall be independent and shall not be influenced in any form by any organization. There must be rule of law to protect people’s political beliefs, social rights, and dignity. There must be rules and regulations based on the best fundamental principles to protect people who are powerless and vulnerable. Any judicial and court decision or ruling should be made before the public. It is the trend worldwide to amend or redraft laws that either hinder the independence of the judicial system or cause human oppression. This trend is not strange and unfamiliar to humankind. Nonetheless, it is shameful that something like that happened to me because our country lacks the rule of law. And it is the duty of all of us in this country that a strong and impartial legal system becomes a reality, for the sake of new generations. Burma, 2002

Daw Hman continues to be politically active inside Burma, despite the obvious threats to her security. Battered Flowers of a Bad System by May Sit Mone I am an ethnic Kachin woman from Burma. I love my country, my people, my religion and I love all the different ethnic groups who reside in our nation. However I am so embarrassed to say I am from Burma when I arrive in other countries. Please don’t get me wrong. Of course I am very proud of my country and want to take pride in our country among other countries. But Burma is very different from what I want it to be, so I have to stay in another country. This is because of the group which rules our country with narrow-mindedness, has no consideration for the people of Burma. This is what makes me embarrassed to say I am from Burma. Some Burmese women have to sell their bodies to make living for their families in neighboring countries because of this group of people. I had been to the China-Burma border and it is not wrong to say it is a place where all kinds of people with all different kinds of characters are made to meet. There are so many different groups from Burma and they tend to stick with each other. These groups are merchants, male and female prostitutes, pimps, thieves and gangsters who use and sell heroine. The most notorious groups are the prostitutes and the thieves. Kyae Gan road is one of the most famous and popular roads in Shwe Li. It is the road where girls and women from Burma put themselves on the market and lure men to take them. Some even go beyond their own limits to get customers. They have to use all methods to get the men and they look so inferior and lacking in dignity. Kyae Gan road was always packed with prostitutes from Burma. I was so saddened and ashamed of this. Once I saw a woman try to lure a Chinese man to take her. Next I witnessed him slapping her face and saying that she is very promiscuous. One day as I was observing and investigating how our Burmese women got into this terrible situation, I had a chance to talk to a woman called Mar Mar. She told me her life story: “I am Burmese from Burma and lived in Meit Hti Lar. I am the eldest of six siblings. I went to school until grade nine and I had never thought that one day I would have to earn my living with this kind of job. It started when our house was destroyed by fire and our family was in so much trouble. My father was a government servant and my mother did not know what to do. So I had to drop out of my school and sell vegetables in the market, because we did not have enough money to start any other business. “Selling vegetables did not make much money and definitely not much profit either. It was no use even when both my father and I earned money because commodity prices skyrocketed. So I was always thinking of how could I help my family survive. One day, a woman from our neighborhood said she wanted to help me and lent me 5,000 kyat with a 30 kyat interest fee. When I got the money I opened a small shop near one of the bus stops. With this business, we could just survive but did not have enough to pay all of our debts. At that time, I was only fifteen years old and all of my siblings were under ten years of age. I was unable to help them. We had to try to keep up with sky high commodity prices so we had to prioritize our living expenses. However, selling things near bus stop gave me an opportunity to have so many friends. One day, one of my friends said there are so many jobs in Shwe Li, which are well paid too. I was very interested when she also said I could even earn 6,000 kyat net a month on top of all living expenses. Our whole family discussed this very seriously and I decided to follow the lady even though I had never heard anything about Shwe Li before. “With the smooth talk of the lady, my parents also believed her and allowed me to go with her. My parents believed her because she paid an advance of 2,000 kyat to my family. Our family was so happy that I would earn 6,000 kyat net a month. But when I reached a small town called Mu Se I things started to change.I overheard the lady talking to a man, but not knowing clearly what it was really about. But soon after nightfall, she explained and persuaded me to take a man. Finally I gave in and accepted her arrangement. She would be taking 20,000 kyat and 20,000 kyat was for me to do this. That was how I started selling my body with 40,000 kyat. I accepted this job and the money so that I could send 20,000 kyat to my mother and she could maintain and extend our small shop. “From then on, I put my body in the hands of a pimp. At the beginning, I was taught basic Chinese to be able to communicate when I arrived in Shwe Li. On the first day when I had to get out and stand on the road I was so embarrassed I cried. I had to persuade men passing by to have me. The pimp who controlled me had six other girls. We had to earn 6,000 kyat (or 150 Yuan) a night if we could not, we were beaten up. Even if we earned that amount of money, we had nothing left after they took out money for make-up, living expenses and clothes. The pimp controlled and arranged all of our money. “We never had enough sleep and so we wanted to sleep in. But the pimp would never allow us to sleep and if we did, we were beaten. The pimp hired people to watch us and if they thought we did not work hard enough the pimp told them to beat us with big stick. He told these people to beat us on the buttocks, upper waist and head. We would get the same punishment if the customers complained that we did not satisfy them. At the time, I was told that the pimp sent my share of my salary to my family every month. My family was told that I was working as a waitress. They did not know the truth. “That was why they also let my younger sister come and work just like me, with the lady who put me in this life. My sister did not understand the situation at first and she asked me “Why didn’t you go to work?” I was so angry and asked her “What are you doing here?” She replied innocently, “I came to work with you”. Then I learnt from her that my family no longer had the small shop because the government was going to widen and extend the road. So all the small shops beside the road were demolished. I thought “Isn’t that great?” I was so bitter in my heart about this. Anyway, I begged the pimp to send her back saying she was too young for this but the pimp would not. They would definitely not do this because my sister was so beautiful and he could sell her easily for a high price. The customers preferred beautiful young girls. And the pimp had already advanced money for her so I could do very little to change the situation. I was so mad. My sister was so scared and did not know how to please the customers. So she was punished most of the time. I could not do anything to help her except comfort her. “Then they put us apart fearing that we might run away together. As for me, I was always crying, fearing arrest by the Burmese or Chinese police. I tried to get out of this life. I talked about my life to a Burmese man and he agreed to redeem me from the pimp. I thought I would let my sister get out first but the pimp would not agree to it. He did not want me to let go at first, but the man who helped me finally convinced him. I was so happy and could not imagine freedom in my life. My sister cried broken-heartedly when she learnt about this and all I could do was try to comfort her. I promised her I would come back to redeem her. I could not get her image from my mind when I left her there. “Then when I asked for my money for four years of working the pimp gave me just 5,000 kyat, after he took everything out. But I did not want to argue anymore, so I took the money and went home. When I saw my family again I learnt that they did not receive the 20,000 kyat from my very first terrible time. So they could only pay our debt bit by bit. I was so bitter. However, my family received 8,000 kyat every month. They should have received 8,000 kyat for my sister also but only got 2,000 kyat for her, the reason being that she was not a skilled worker. So they said. There was too much hatred and bitterness in my heart, yet I had no idea what to do with it. I also suffered so much discrimination from people in our town. They ostracized me from society when they found out about my life in Shwe Li. For that reason my family could no longer live in the town and had to move. “My father passed away soon after. So I returned a second time to Shwe Li and decided that I would not go home until I got enough money to start a proper business. I worked again as prostitute but this time on my own. Within six months, I paid up for my sister and we continued to work on our own. We were able to provide the school fees for our younger siblings back home. At the same time, when the gangsters asked to see us, we had to go and see them. Otherwise we would be beaten by them. However, we could not avoid all the people from Burma because our work was on the roads. We would have liked to go home to our family, to be able to work with dignity if our society would have accepted us.” That was the story Mar Mar told me. This is why I would like to share my concern that we should assist and support women, who have worked as prostitutes in the past, to escape that terrible life. We women are more responsible for improvement in all aspects of our fellow women folks lives and should try very hard to help them. I have learnt that the pimps and their aides have very good relationships with the authority on both sides – Burma and China. That is why it is so hard for the girls and women to escape. If the girls escape to the Burmese side the Burmese police and soldiers catch them and return them to the pimps. If the girls escape on the Chinese side, the pimps find them, beat them and drag them back. It is also very sad to know that these pimps are from Burma. When girls and women were arrested, they were questioned by Burmese soldiers about why they worked like this. Some got really sour and replied “We think we own our private parts. Only now we learn that you own this too.” Some got long prison sentences because they said they would not come out and work like this if the government could create jobs with good salaries. But it is the reality. I think the government is stupid and egoistical creating a new law to put prostitutes in jail longer instead of creating more jobs for everybody in our country. The government beautifies the cities and villages to give a good impression to other countries, so that they can get rich. But it is the people who have to provide the labor and time to build the roads and bridges. Some people escape to other countries to work and escape from the government’s oppression and unjust treatment. It only knows how to take from the people, but does not know there should be a turn to give back. Once the people escape from Burma (they think) they are free from hardship and survival problems. However some of the girls and women and boys became prostitutes and thieves in neighboring countries. Conditions are so bad that no one is impressed with people from Burma. Chinese people called Burmese “Laung Myann” and they belittle us. Other neighboring countries are not very different either. Nevertheless, many Burmese endure bad treatment and belittlement in other countries because they can earn better money, which they could never dream of getting in Burma. The government cannot solve unemployment problems in Burma. But still they are telling lies to the whole world that they are doing their best to improve our country. Only some countries who do not know about them could believe it anyway, but the rest do not really say anything even though they know what is going on in Burma. Because they see so many resources and beautiful mountain ranges. Therefore, we all must try to remove this military dictatorship. Then we will not be belittled by other countries. Let’s be proud of our country with our heads held high. Oh, all my friends, let’s unite and resist this military dictatorship together. The Thai-Burmese border, 2000

May Sit Mone was born in 1973 in Taunggyi. She got as far as grade ten in her studies in 1991 in Burma. She is an ethnic Kachin member of the Burmese Women’s Union (BWU) and recently became its General Secretary. Gain Within Loss by Phyu Lay My name is Phyu Lay. Bitterness has flavoured my life. Since I was young I had to help my parents while I studied. I have three sisters and two brothers. My mother was a vendor and my father was a driver. My parent had to work really hard to provide all of us with our education and daily survival. My sisters and brothers had to sell snacks at the market in our village and only then they could go to school. I also had to help my mother with her shop. In the mornings, I did errands for my mother. My mother could not work at her small shop any more as she got older. All my siblings entered into the work force as government servants after they had finished matriculation. Still, we never had enough money because commodity prices were so high and their salaries were so little. I vividly remember the people’s uprising in grade four. That was the 8.8.88 uprising.1 We could not have regular meals at that time, because the prices of rice and others were so high. One of my elder sisters said she would drop out from school to work but my mother did not let her do that. We just went on and struggled while we were studying. My mother would be waiting for us to have San Pyot2 together when we came home from school. We had to bear the situation like this for about two months. My father died of heart attack when I was in grade nine. Only my mother was able to go to arrange his funeral in Rangoon where he worked as a driver. We did not go because there were roadblocks and people were being taken as forced porters on the road to Rangoon. Our father had died without even seeing us though he was working so hard for us. It became difficult to continue my education. That was why one of my sisters and I left for a village on the mountain. That village’s name was xxxxx and it was really famous amongst the government troops. There, I saw resistance army men. I had never imagined seeing them in my life before. At first, I just thought they were soldiers from the government. Then my sister told me that they were the people who were fighting for freedom and democracy in our country. I became a volunteer nursery teacher for the children in that village at the request of the village head. One day, government troops came to the village. They checked out the whole village and I was called and questioned. They asked “Have there been any students?3 We got the news.” They also asked me whether this village made contact with any resistance groups and how could they go to such and such places. I lied that I knew nothing. I was sure they would arrest me if I told the truth because I knew the students. This was the first time I was questioned by the commander of the column. I was so sad when I saw all the children in the village crying and running helter skelter from fear of the soldiers. I was also scared of the soldiers but I had not much choice. I had to go there and answer what they asked. Finally, they went back without getting any information. A couple of months later, the soldiers came to the village again. I was at my sister’s village to get treatment for my sickness. They asked the village head about me and found out where I was. Then they sent a courier to the village where I was getting treatment. I replied that I would be coming back when I got better. When I came back to the village the next day, they questioned and photographed the village head and me. Then they ordered the entire village to move out the very next day. No one in the village dared say anything and moved to a village called yyyy although they were so sad. Two days after we left the village, I heard that the soldiers burnt the whole village down and photographed this At yyyy, we had to live in a group of two or three families together in one house and it was so crowded. There was not enough food in that village and children got really sick with diarrhea. Not long after that, a child died. Everyone faced the hardship of survival in a new place and not knowing what to do. Finally, the villagers urged me to go and talk to the commander to let them go back to their village and to let them work on their own farms. I went to see the commander with the other two elders from that village group but they did not allow any one to go back. The soldiers said we all had to sign if we wanted to go back. Nonetheless, they said they would issue us with tickets to stay for only two days and then we needed to come back to renew the ticket. We would have to pay ten kyat for each ticket issued. Then I went a second time to ask to let us go back with my sister and the commander reluctantly allowed us to go back. However, they scolded and threatened us, “We heard that the rebels came to your village. We don’t want to hear any such thing from now on.” Anyway, we all were so happy to go back to the village. But we could not find anything in the village except the church. All was now ashes. Fortunately, villagers who were so used to this situation hid some of their belongings in the forest and got back those. We all were so busy with rebuilding our huts. I helped them too. As I mentioned earlier, this village was very famous with repeated civil wars occurred but I still loved this village. The villagers also loved me as their daughter or relative. I met my husband in this very village. Both my sister and I knew the students and people from resistance groups. My sister supported and encouraged their efforts for our country. In 1998, I married him and followed him. He worked for the people of Burma. Since then, I have been parted from my family. I dare not contact them for fear they would be hassled by the soldiers. I am sure that they would be very worried about me. I had to survive in the forest for a year after I got married. It was very rare to spend time with my husband because he needed to go with the resistance army as a communication or signal officer. We had to climb the mountains and cross so many streams. Sometimes, we had no food to eat as we were cut off from other groups in the forest. I was so frightened when I had to sleep under the thick bamboo bush. Sometimes I woke up, thinking that the sounds of the forest animals were the footsteps of the enemy.4 Every time I heard these I got up quickly in the ready position and tried to look into the darkness of the forest. At first, I was so angry with my husband. However, as I got used to the situation I was in, I was able to adapt because of love for my husband. However, the worse thing was that when we had to walk through the deep jungle, my group leader thought I was so slow because I am a woman. I walked through the forest without complaint as I was irritated with that idea. After about six months, we could no longer go on like this in the forest. A group of Karen who surrendered to the military government were forced to lead the soldiers to where we were. They and the student group had fought together against the military government before. After they had a cease-fire with the soldiers they were always after us. We were lucky that we had never had to confront these groups but other student groups often bumped into them and battles broke out between them. I lost two men who I loved as my own brothers in those battles. One of them was taken while he was seriously wounded by the soldiers and tortured. The soldiers asked him to tell where the other groups were but he did not say anything. He sacrificed his life for the safety of others. Although I was saddened by the loss I was proud of him too. I believed that other comrades would feel the same as me. Then we got the message from our leaders at the central office that we would not be able to go back there and could not keep on living in the forest either. At that time, enemies surrounded us with men and arms. Then the commander of our group negotiated with one of the cease-fire groups to let us be part of their group. We integrated into their group and stayed with them in a village. After about six months, the soldiers found out that there were resistance students in this group and they demanded information about us. The chief did not have much choice and had to give list of eleven people, including my name. Not long after that, the soldiers demanded the chief hand over all of us to them. They also threatened to revoke the cease-fire agreement at any time and would shoot to kill the local soldiers. At the beginning, the chief refused to give us up. However, it was very difficult after a while when the government’s troops gave a lot of pressure. We even had to have guards at night. The situation kept getting worse. One night, we had to leave at once — we got the news that the soldiers were coming for us. My heart was burning while I was saying goodbye to the chief with other comrades as I realized “Now I have to leave from here again. I thought I got closer to a family life here but now it is going to be more far away than ever again”. But I encouraged myself saying “One day we will reunite” and then we all walked into the darkness with our backpacks on our back. We walked through the forest the whole night and we took a break when we reached a Karen village. I was so tired and fell asleep. An hour later I was woken up by my husband to eat. I really did not want to get up. After the meal we continued our journey through the forest. At about noon, we took another break. Then we had to load up some food for the journey ahead. Again, we walked through the night. We were speeding , thinking “we are going back to ABSDF central now”. The journey was supposed to take only one month but it took three months to reach because the government’s troops tried to block us. We had to change our route many times. Finally we arrived at the Karen controlled area. That route was full of landmines and soldiers but we were able to pass through with the help of Karen National Union (KNU). One night we had to quietly walk near the path of government’s troops. I felt like we all were blind as we had to form a human chain. We could not use any light to see the path but if we made one wrong step, we could be killed or amputated by land mines. We made that journey anyway. First, we arrived to Wae Gyi camp near Salween river. We rested there for about two days and then headed to ABSDF Central for one and a half days. Although we had to walk another one and a half days we were so happy to get there. I felt so happy when I walked on the tar road on the Thai side. It was such a long time already that I had not had the chance to walk on a tar road like this. We reached the central office on 3rd March, 1999. After about four months, I was told about the Burmese Women’s Union (BWU) and I joined the union as I liked its activities and objectives. On 1st August, I came to join with other women at BWU office. I have been so weak at most things, apart from compassion and loving kindness even though I wanted to work for the people. I always pray that all our people and future generations do not have to suffer like me. With this thought in my mind, I decided to work for my people and my country. I hope that one day I will be able to give back something for my people. The Thai-Burmese border, 2000

Notes: 1 Many people in Burma refer 1988 pro-democracy uprising as the 8.8.88 or Four Eights Uprising. 2 Meal of boiled rice porridge. 3 “Students” refers to the revolutionary students from arm holding resistance group called All Burma Students’ Democratic Front. 4 From here, the author starts to refer to the government’s troops as the enemy.

Phyu Lay was 22-years-old when she wrote this account. The names of villages and groups in Burma that helped her in her year-long trek have been censored to protect those still living there. She remains married to the man for whom she made the perilous year- long trek. Strength Amidst Tragedy by Yu Yu I will never forget the day my husband disappeared, disappeared from our home on the Thai-Burmese border, and disappeared from my life. The moment that I knew he was gone was a moment that was hard for me to comprehend, hard for me to believe what was happening. It was like a bolt of lightning that blinds you. You try to get rid of it, a moment like that, but it stays with you. I do not want to see my son and the children of the future have to struggle like I do now, like I have done in the past, along with my family and so many people of Burma. Since I was a child, I have known of the cruel nature of military dictatorship in Burma. One of the first things I remember is my father comparing the cruelty of Saddam Hussein in Iraq to the BSPP ‘government’40. I thought and hoped, even as a teenager, things must change for the better. The cruelty and oppression of the authorities made me want to burst and has convinced me to commit my energies to the political opposition. During the 1990 election campaign I was in Grade 8 and helped my father deliver political pamphlets, brochures and leaflets,41 but it was after the December 1996 student demonstrations that I was arrested. I was detained for 3 days on suspicion that I was involved in the protests. After my arrest the situation for my entire family worsened. Surveillance became tighter and the mobility restrictions placed on us because of my father and sisters’ earlier political activities, were intensified. It was this restriction on mobility, coupled with the lack of educational opportunity in Burma that really pushed me to leave my country. I knew that I would be able to work actively for my people, the people of Burma, if I was on the other side of the border, the outside. In 1994 my sister and I had carried documents from the liberated area in Thailand back into Burma and so I was somewhat familiar with Thailand and political activities in the liberated areas. Arriving in Thailand in 1998, I learnt about women’s organizations and saw, for the first time, the many women who have been working progressively towards democracy and the protection of human rights in Burma. In 1999 I started to work for the National League of Democracy in the Liberated Area (NLD-LA) and with the joint efforts of other women, the NLD-LA Women’s Wing became a reality. Working in a women’s organization has been valuable in developing our independence and autonomy. Women’s achievements are more apparent and women are central to their own capacity building. Women have something unique to offer, making them crucial to

40 The Burmese Socialist Program Party (BSPP) was the name of the military government led by General Ne Win from 1962 – 1988. The BSPP and its successors, the SLORC (1988-1997) and SPDC (1997 --) are notorious for massive human rights violations. 41 Yu Yu’s father worked for the underground unit with young students, and before his death in 1991 from malaria whilst living in the jungle, he helped many members of parliament (MPs) escape to the liberated area. It was these MPs who later formed the National Coalition Government of Burma (NCGUB). the struggle for a better Burma. When women of Burma are given the space to work abreast with men at all levels, utilizing their diverse abilities and capacities, everyone benefits. Women are acutely aware of the need for peace in Burma and this is central to many women’s hopes for the future. Women recognize the need to work together to achieve national reconciliation and democracy and many are working and learning hard to achieve solidarity whilst respecting their multiple differences. With women of all ethnicities and experiences working together we can have peace and reconciliation. We can shape a future that is right for us. I have learnt much from the women around me, from their strength, dignity and pride. I continually learn of political participation from women and how to strengthen my passion and energy for my politics and myself. I have also learnt from my son, especially when a terrible thing happens, when I cry, my son says "Maymay42 don't cry, be happy" or something like that. Sometimes, seeing him happy, I try to learn to be happy. I don't want my son to be neglected when I am feeling down or low as it may have some impact on him. This gets me back on track. Along with Buddhist meditation and my son, women inspire me to find happiness and peace. Peace is feeling calm on a personal level. Peace is freedom from suffering, freedom from worrying. Peace is being able to be happy. Moments of lightning do not shatter the happiness and cannot steal the peace. Over the years and through the women I have shared with, my commitment to and conviction of attaining peace has strengthened. My husband has disappeared, I will never forget that, but the friendship of women has led me through the lightning, and together we can see the calm. As a woman of Burma I do not live in fear, but I live with the hope and knowledge that the future can be peace and that this future is for me and other women of Burma, our families and communities. The Thai-Burmese border, 2002

Yu Yu’s husband disappeared in early 2001 when he left his home to meet someone in response to a telephone call. He was never seen or heard from again. Yu Yu continues to work with women on the Thai-Burmese border.

42 “Mummy” SPEAKING THE LANGUAGE OF THE WHITE FEMALE DOVE by Daw Khin Aye Myint Summer hasn’t yet begun. It is as if the end of winter has forgotten to come. A big Takhuat tree at the opening of a ravine stands tall. Small white birds are flying here and there among the flowers, covering the tree from top to bottom. I was born inside a small tent under the Takhuat tree. At the time, only Phua Ngay Hmung, a local delivery man, and my father, tended to my mother and I. My father held his handgun, his Shan bag. He looked at mother, worry filling his face. He didn’t know what to do. Mother was shrieking with stomach pains and he could not utter a word. My mother told me these things when I grew up. So, I was born in a big ravine, inside a deep jungle, far away from people. My father was not a farmer. He wasn’t a fisherman either. Neither was he a salaried worker of any kind. You may not believe me if I tell you that he was an Arts student at Rangoon University. He was a mere leftwing politician, an aged student who was forced to go underground in the jungle. At that time, Pautkhaung in Pyi township was a place where many underground people used to live and he met my mother, who was a middle school teacher in Pautkhaung. When the government took over Pautkhaung, my parents fled inside the Yomah1 forest, across the Nawin river, not too far from Pautkhaung. So my life started deep in the jungle. My rebel father gave me my name. I, Ma Kyo Pyu2, cannot remember him. He died in the Khutinnga battle while struggling for what he believed in. I was nine months old at that time. My mother had to run through the jungle war zone, clutching me in her arms. Even though my widowed mother was not even 25, she was forced to run through the immense bamboo jungles, with nothing to eat but bamboo shoots, through fierce battles zones, with no food. She carried her little daughter like a mother bear protecting her cubs. My mother managed to save her daughter from danger, exhibiting the greatest of strength. When her daughter, Kyo Pyu hungered, and there was a village nearby, she’d borrow a clay pot to cook food and feed her little daughter When her luck improved and she managed to come across an egg, she’d let her little daughter eat it with a small bowl of rice soup, without oil. Deep inside the jungle, far from people and villages, she’d cook rice in bamboo, heating it slowly, to feed her little daughter. My mother contended all of these problems and difficulties. But when three rainy seasons passed by, the malaria came again. She could not bear even to think of the fevers starting in her daughter, Kyo Pyu, so she surrendered to Pyi battalion, her fever rising and falling. This time, mother returned to her home in Pautkhaung, holding her three year old daughter’s hand. Her old ex-BIA3 soldier father and mother welcomed their daughter and granddaughter with open arms. Mother could not get a job, having been fired from her job as a teacher. So, she helped grandma sell sugarcanes in Pautkhaung market. But my mother was not able to live peacefully. As a wife of a rebel, she was constantly interrogated by the authorities. She explained, every time, that she knew nothing, but still, was prosecuted under section 5 of the Emergency Provisions Act. Under this section, a defendant is not able to adequately explain their activities, and there is little chance of bail. You can never know how long you’ll be sentenced to or when you will be released. There’s absolutely no fairness. Ma Kyo Pyu’s grandfather became confused. He was an old soldier who had fought for a fairer Burma alongside General Aung San, seeking a fair economic and political system and equal justice for people with different blood. But now, this same, older soldier could do nothing for his daughter apart from helping her to make a living. Grandfather put his granddaughter in a Pautkhaung school so that her education would not be disturbed. Mother was released the year that Kyo Pyu reached grade three. She hugged her daughter with her ageing, wrinkled hands. Her hair had become almost completely white. My very thin mother now looked like an old woman, her skin no longer fleshy. She had no more strength left in her. Mother could not live with her daughter for much longer. She died three months after her release. Before she died, she repeated the phrase, ‘I’m not guilty, I’m being wronged, there’s no justice’. After mother’s death, grandfather died shortly before the beginning of a new year. Grandma struggled to make a living for her granddaughter, Kyo Pyu, and made sure she finished her education. She was so happy when Kyo Pyu passed tenth grade. Ma Kyo Pyu grew up. She had beauty; a beautiful nose, clear eyes and perfect lips, and these became her attractions. With her bright yellow skin and her healthy, fit body, she became the beauty of Pautkhaug. Grandma looked at her granddaughter and took deep breaths, again and again. She was not able to send her granddaughter to university, with the economy being in such a terrible state. So, she contacted relatives in Rangoon, who made it possible for her to study in Rangoon. It was then that Kyo Pyu met her lover Ko Aung. He was Kyo Pyu’s third cousin on her grandma’s side. According to the letters that grandma received, her niece had sent Ko Aung to Pautkhaung to fetch Kyo Pyu and her grandma to Rangoon for phayaphu4 . Ko Aung was a third year student at Rangoon Engineering College. Though he was dark and quite tall, he was handsome. His black eyes completed the unusual beauty of his face. His smile made him friendly. Ma Kyo Pyu could not hide her feelings from him for too long. She began to love him like her own brother. He was friendly and loveable, and as a college student, Kyo Pyu respected him more. When he noticed the sincerity and affection of his younger, innocent sister, Ko Aung also felt affection for her. Ko Aung’s parents also could not see enough of Kyo Pyu. His mother wanted to make sure that Kyo Pyu and Ko Aung would be married. Grandma permitted the union by saying ‘if it is the children’s own will.’ Ko Aung and Kyo Pyu answered, ‘yes!’ and a brief marriage ceremony was arranged. While the marriage was being arranged, the U Thant unrest began5 . Since Ko Aung was an engineering student, he was called upon for questioning while sitting in his classroom. Many citizens and students who were inside the campus were also arrested. Ko Aung did not return home. His father searched for him everywhere, but nothing became known of his whereabouts. Kyo Pyu felt dismayed and cried endlessly for Ko Aung. Early morning on the seventh day of his disappearance, the sounds of a car stopping in front of the house was heard. Ko Aung’s father witnessed the whole scene from the holy room6 . He shouted ‘Hey! They dropped something from the car. I’ll go and check it out’. Kyo Pyu cried for her father to remain in the house until they had found out what it was. Ko Aung’s mother started protesting in a similar manner. Later, Ko Aung’s father shouted ‘come quickly, Ko Aung’s home!’. Kyo Pyu ran out of the house to Ko Aung, lying abandoned on the roadside. Ko Aung’s father and Kyo Pyu helped Ko Aung, slowly, to the house. He was put on the bed and treated. The Loungyi7 that Ko Aung had worn for seven days, was torn and full of holes. There was barely enough of it left to cover his nakedness. His short-sleeved shirt, wet with sweat, smelt horrible. When questioned he was only able to say that he had been taken for interrogation, and that there was no justice. He was too tired to talk and we dared not ask him more. Ko Aung was given injections to boost his strength and slowly, his eyes brightened, but he looked older with his shrunken cheeks, so unlike someone his age. But, we were not able to save him no matter how hard we tried. He died three days later. Ma Kyo Pyu always remembers her mother and her lover’s last words: ‘there is no justice’. If these kinds of disgusting events continue to happen, even our understanding of a universal justice will fade away. Ma Kyo Pyu determined to find justice and make sure that the memories do not fade away. To see improvements in our lives, the most basic and necessary thing that we require is justice. Fairness can only exist if we are sincere and considerate towards each other. If we work together in groups, rather than individually, we can achieve this at a greater pace. Because of these things, Ma Kyo Pyu joined the NLD8 . The NLD will guarantee basic human rights for people. It is a peoples organisation, headed towards a new, democratic union, where men and women will have equal rights and opportunities. Ma Kyo Pyu invests much in the leadership of the NLD and draws inspiration from the qualities of Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, the secretary-general. Not only is she sincere, she is also worthy of the highest respect and is beautiful. She is a person who will do what she must, without fear of any kind -- a woman who knows her duty. Like a true leader, she’s not afraid to talk of her beliefs and ideas with the public. She is sincere and does not lie. Ma Suu reminds us that in order to see improvement in both our society and in our own lives, we need to discover our sense of justice. Justice is more important than love and affection, and if all people strive for sincerity of feeling, and strive to feel good will and to gain knowledge, then there can no longer be any injustice. Ma Kyo Pyu searches for the justice described by Ma Suu. She will have to overcome many difficulties to reach that place. She must have the courage to pass through times of difficulty. Ma Kyo Pyu will have to cultivate true benevolence, only then overcoming her fear. She’ll have to search for justice keeping a sincere love in her heart. Ma Kyo Pyu has found the meaning of this elusive justice, walking alongside Daw Aung San Suu Kyi. The NLD flag floats in the air above Daw Aung San Suu Kyi. There’s a peacock and a bright star on a red, red canvas. A peacock, who would fight until it dies, pride intact, without ever turning back. Ma Kyo Pyu, standing closely behind Ma Suu. Coo- coo, coo- coo, murmurs the white female dove.... Burma, 1998

Notes: 1 The term Yomah, Burmese for ‘mountain range’, has distinctly revolutionary overtones, and recalls the thousands of Burmese people throughout history who have fled to the borders areas to take up arms against the military dictatorship based in Rangoon. 2 The literal translation into English is ‘Sister White Dove’. 3 Burmese Independence Army. 4 This refers to the pilgrimage normally undertaken by Burmese throughout the country to pagodas and temples where prayer and offerings are made. 5 U Thant, former secretary-general of the United Nations, was buried amid much controversy in Rangoon,1974. Student protesters a short time later exhumed his body from a military appointed site and attempted to bury him at the former site of the demolished Rangoon University Student Union building. 6 A holy room refers to a room in a residential house where a Buddha image is kept for prayers. 7 A traditional male sarong. 8 National League for Democracy.

Daw Khin Aye Myint was a senior member of the National League for Democracy when she wrote this article. She is no longer a member of the party. A BORDER INCIDENT by Khin Htay Kyu In Burmese society, people traditionally believe women to be inferior to men. Such beliefs have resulted in the oppression of Burmese women since the very origins of Burma as a nation. Under the present military dictatorship, women suffer even more from military oppression than do their male counterparts. Despite such oppression and facing such adversity, Burmese women still actively participate in a struggle that has become so necessary to achieving democracy and human rights in our motherland. I am one of the many young students who fled to the border areas of Burma to continue our struggle for democracy and human rights following the September 1988 military coup in Burma. The women students participated alongside our male comrades, and were, just like them, forced to leave our parents, friends, brothers and sisters, and classrooms. But when I arrived on the border, I realised how many more restrictions were placed on us, purely for being women. When I finished military and medical training in the jungle, I served as a medic in a camp along the Thai-Burma border. We had received exactly the same military training as had the men who were venturing to the frontline, and we too wanted to be there, believing that we could be good soldiers on the frontline. We often demanded to be sent to the frontline, but our leaders were very hesitant and refused us, citing their many reasons. After we had made such demands for almost two years, our leaders finally agreed, and we underwent another course of military training at the beginning of 1990. Later we found that the training had been more rigorous than that given to the men in our area. I really believe that if people have the motivation and skills to do something, they should not be prevented because of their sex. Whether undertaking such activity is appropriate or not should be determined on the basis of ability alone. From 1990 to 1992, I worked as a medic at the frontline for six months out of every year in the jungle. On the frontline, we were not only providing health and education services to local people, we also had to perform all of the duties common to the male soldiers in our column. When I reflect on this time, I am glad that we had the chance to be there, to prove that women are as capable as men even when facing battle. During one of these battles, after making an offensive against a Slorc base in Tenasserim Division, we forced enemy soldiers to evacuate from a village. After they had gone, we distributed our publications among the villagers and left very quickly. In other villages not so close to the front line, we were able to stay and rest a short time, but occupied villages were unsafe. At any time, enemy forces could return with reinforcements and surround us. We won this battle, but sometimes we lost, and were forced to run, feeling troubled and afraid. I remember my first experience in a battle zone and the feeling of our terrible defeat. One morning, we were sitting in a tea shop in a Tenasserim village on the southern coast of Burma. We had planned to move on to other villages after drinking tea. This particular village was full of betel nut and coconut plantations. While we were drinking tea and sharing a joke with each other in the tea shop, a villager informed us that enemy troops had reached the monastery on the hill, only 200 metres away. At first we were surprised, and did not understand fully the implications of the situation. We thought that maybe the villager had been mistaken some of our troops for the enemy. We asked him, “Are you sure?” He replied, “ I know what an enemy troop looks like!” Our commander quickly ordered people to their stations. Some groups went to the front and my group hid behind nearby coconut trees. But it was already too late -- the enemy had opened fire. The women stayed hiding behind the trees and were protected by our comrades who fired back at the troops. But our enemy had an advantage being in a higher position on the hill. Luckily, the villager had informed many other people about the Slorc troops and people ran away to hide in trenches under their houses and were not hurt. After an hour of fighting our commander ordered us to retreat. The women were in the first group to move. Under the cover our comrades provided, we ran through a field to the next village half a kilometre away, where we were to wait for the others to arrive. When they arrived much later, they carried two injured soldiers into one of the village houses. The family there tried to assist us by boiling water for sterilisation and preparing coconut water1 for the patients. Their children went to hide under the house. Not everyone in our group was able to reach this village as many had to remain fighting the Slorc troops to prevent them from reaching us. I was one medic among a team comprising of both men and women. Our commander told us to give the soldiers emergency injections first and that we would administer other treatments when we reached somewhere safer. He informed us that there was very little time and we had to move quickly. One of the injured soldiers had been shot in the leg and the other, in the arm and chest. They were moaning, ‘mi way, mi way2’ . We quickly stopped the bleeding. As we were treating them, we could hear gunfire from M16’s and AK47’s, belonging to our troops, and the sounds of enemy G3 and G4’s were coming closer and closer. The enemy already knew we had casualties after finding spots of blood on our trail, and were closely following us. After taking care of the two patients, our comrades brought in another injured patient. Our commander told us that it was a much more serious injury and that he had to be treated straight away. I went immediately to his side and saw that this new patient was Zaw Naing Aung, a company warrant officer, and he was covered with blood. Zaw Naing Aung was not moving or making any kind of sound. When I touched his body, I was struck by its coldness and forgot all that was happening around me, this being my first experience with emergency gun-shot treatment. In shock, I listened for his heart with my stethoscope, but could hear nothing. I tried to administer an emergency injection to revive him, but the needle could not enter the vein. This normally occurs when a person is already dead, but I did not want to believe that Zaw Naing Aung had already died. Only one hour before we had been joking and laughing in the village tea shop! But he was dead. I did not know what to do. Earlier, our commander and fellow medics had watched me attempting to revive his body with so much hope in their face. By now I think that they realised he was dead, but were waiting for me to confirm it. I still couldn’t say anything and started to cry. My commander said, “Now is not the time to cry. Tell me what happened -- is he dead or not? If he is dead, we have to bury the body quickly, enemy troops are getting very close.” And then we all started to run, two men carried each patient, one medic holding each man’s drip. One small group took Zaw Naing Aung’s body away to be buried. We heard the gunshot salute that they made for him. Our commander read a farewell to Zaw Naing Aung saying, “Comrade Zaw Naing Aung, your duties for democracy and human rights is now finished. We thank you for your sacrifice. You are no longer a member of our student army, and your soul has been released.” Finally we managed to reach a safe village that could be easily protected from the enemy troops. We were still very worried about the two wounded patients, so two medics put them on an elephant and sent them back to our battalion base along the border for further treatment. If they stayed too long with us and were moved around constantly, there was a risk that their wounds would not heal. This was my first experience in a battle lost, my first experience as a medic in our student army, and is an experience that I will never forget. So many of my comrades died in my hands, even despite the medical treatment that we were able to give them. When I remember these events, I am overcome with sadness. At the same time, while I am writing this article, I remember and miss the many people from Tenasserim Division who helped us so much when we were on the frontline, as well as my student comrades from ABSDF Minthamee camp. I remember, also, the many struggles that we have won and the feeling of victory we enjoyed as the Slorc troops retreated. Many soldiers from both enemy and student troops were injured or died. All of these people are brothers and sisters from the same country. Even though I actively participated in an armed struggle against my government, I did not rejoice when I saw or heard that someone from the enemy troops had been killed. I did not go to the frontline to kill the enemy -- I was there to serve my patients, even those from enemy troops, and to build a better relationship with people that we met. When I could, I used to explain our ideas for democracy and human rights to enemy patients. If these soldiers wanted to return to the Slorc side, we let them go freely. In Burma there is no freedom of expression or freedom of publication. If we can no longer struggle on the frontline, we no longer have a small opportunity to educate our people. When we go to these frontline areas, we must take weapons for defence. When we can no longer be a presence along the border, our government will have won. Our people may be forced to forget about our ideas for democracy and human rights, and they will receive a lower standard of education. This is why I struggled with a gun in my hands. I don’t want to deny, or even blindly accept what our student leaders have said; that women should not go to the frontline because it is so very dangerous. But such danger is faced not only by women, but by everybody who remains in frontline areas. We are all at risk in such areas and people cannot be singled out of the civil war. Before I arrived on the border, I didn’t fully understand the reasons for our civil war and the dynamics of armed struggle. I thought that the people who fought against government troops were mere insurgents. I am not the one to point my finger and decide who is right or wrong, but I do know that our civil war has not brought about a better situation for our people. Our civil war has resulted in Burma becoming the world’s least developed nation. I dare to say that all of the troubles that my country faces has resulted from decades of military rule. If there had been no military rule in Burma, we would not have been forced to face such total devastation of our beautiful land. If there had been no military rule in Burma, we would have been able to join hands with our ethnic brothers and sisters to build a genuinely peaceful nation. If there had been no military rule in Burma, we all, regardless of ethnicity, religion, or sex, would have been able to build a nation based upon the principle of non-discrimination. I think that nobody can deny that women suffer so much more than men under our military dictatorship; that women are doubly burdened by the restrictions of our traditional culture. Both intelligent, educated women like Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, as well as ordinary women who do not often get a chance to leave their homes, suffer under our system of traditional practices and values. Achieving democracy and basic human rights and bringing an end to the military dictatorship is only the first important step on a long path toward achieving women’s rights in Burma. If my sisters are committed, educate themselves and are provided with the same opportunities as men, my sisters and I will be able to actively and positively strive for a genuinely peaceful Burma. Let us use the abilities of the women of Burma in the struggle to attain peace in modern Burma. The Thai-Burmese border, 1998 Notes: 1 Coconut water is commonly used by soldiers in frontline areas as a glucose replacement. 2 Meaning ‘mother’ in the Tenasserim dialect.

Khin Htay Kyu eventually applied for refugee status and was resettled in Australia in 2000 with her husband and newborn son. She is training to be a nurse so that she can return to help the people of Burma. Voice for Reconciliation by Naw Khine Mar Kyaw Zaw as told to Ma Ma Pyone Karen women are facing a lot of hardships and difficulties from the civil war. This is the main problem that women are facing, especially in Karen State and along the border. One of the main problems is human security and safety. Women become very vulnerable. This is not just confined to women, it happens to men, but it is especially difficult for women when they have no security to move around with all the fighting. That is why people in Karen State in general, not only women, have to worry a lot about their security and everything. There is a lot of trauma and fear. These traumas and worries and fear build racially stereotyped views of the military. Once people say “military”, it is automatically assumed the soldiers are Bamar43, so the hatred among Karen and Burmans is now very intense. It is a consequence of the military’s actions to oppress us. When the military comes into the village, people will say “Bamar dwe la byi” which means “the Bamar’s are coming”. So it becomes normal to equate the military with Bamar. For me it is not hard for me to differentiate between Bamar and the military because I have education and understanding of the political situation. But for people in the villages, lack of education and lack of understanding of the political situation makes them think that the Bamar are doing this oppression to us. In the Karen community, the roles of men and women have been quite different. Whereas men go fighting, women have to take care of household chores, such as cooking and sending food to the men. I see also these things happen, especially in refugee camps. Even when they don’t have to worry about survival, men are still head of the household and women cannot be the head of the household. From generation to generation, the custom has been this way. It is still hard for women to lead and show their abilities. The impact of these customs and traditions is that even in the refugee camps, in the refugee committees and working groups, only men will be there on the top. Women will be nurses, medics or teachers. In Karen tradition, there is no difference, no discrimination, between daughters and sons as far as inheritance is concerned, but it is more customary that men rule. When women cannot have leadership roles, it slows down women’s improvement. If women have no say, then they cannot make any improvements for women in Burma or for themselves. It is also something to do with the right of expression. For example, in a meeting, if women can be present in meetings they can put forward their opinions and ideas, but if women have no right to be there then their voices cannot be heard. I believe that women understand more about women’s situation and so they should also be in decision making roles and actively involved in meetings. Whether we are born Bamar, Shan or Karen [or any nationality], we cannot separate from each other when talking about women’s issues because we have the same suffering, we all have the same loss, for a long time. Women are always at the back, regardless of their

43 “Bamar” is the local term to describe ethnic Burmans, considered the majority group in Burma. The Burmese military regime leadership is dominated by Burmans. ethnicity and men are always at the front. I believe that when we talk about women’s issues, working only for Karen women is not going to benefit the whole of the female population, and that is why I am willing to work for all women. Women, women know the meaning of loss and suffering as they are the ones that experience these. It is the “letshi ahchay ahnay”44 because they are not able to participate in decision making, leading roles, improving themselves, they won’t be able to participate in any kind of development work to better their skills. If you look at our movement, the leaders used to be only men. Now, we have women leaders but they are very few and it is a very recent phenomenon. It is getting better. When women can participate especially in decision-making, they can push forward their wishes. I think it will take time before a woman’s voice is as respected as a man’s voice. I emphasise that if you want to change something it will not happen overnight. The differences between women and men have been going on for a long time. I put it this way, it is harder for men to give up their position and power as they have the upper hand. I believe that women have to believe in themselves, build up their own capacity and development, their own quality so that then they will be able to participate more actively. Also, women have to know their own rights and be able to put forward the issues important to them. But, if women get these rights because men think “poor women, they should be given some rights”, then this is not so valuable, it is not so worth it. It has been improving since the mid-90s - women’s rights and voices are increasingly respected, partly because of pressure from international NGOs and community. This is a good improvement. When we speak about reform for the whole situation, women are included. But there is still a lot to be done. We ourselves have to try very hard still, and we have to develop our own abilities and capacity and we should show those qualities so that we will get respect. I have many heroines, but the obvious one is Daw Aung San Suu Kyi. She is working with a lot of men, there are very few women surrounding her. And on the ethnic issues she has been very fair and just. So, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi is one of my very obvious inspirations. There are also many women within the movement who inspire me to keep working. There are many things that I have learnt from my work. I learnt that there should be rights and freedom for all individuals. I would not know these things if I were still in Burma. I have been privileged to learn about many people’s lives. I believe that hatred and narrow- mindedness between ethnic groups is not good. Personally I have become more patient and more understanding. I understand more about other people’s lives and sufferings. I used to be very stubborn and this has changed. I have learnt through my life experiences and those of others. Over a year ago, I became one of the women representatives of the National Reconciliation Programme (NRP) facilitating team. Since it is not a political party, just a

44 Status quo programme, I have no problems working for it because the NRP works for national reconciliation so the differences among ethnic groups can be resolved. The NRP facilitating team has 11 people, at the beginning there was only one woman but they have extended to 6 women now. Now we are 6 women out of 17 members. The NRP understands national reconciliation includes women and youth. For women, the main focus is providing space for a dialogue and women’s participation, so that women and youth have negotiation skills, conflict resolution skills, approaching the problem and solving the problem. These programmes are for all women’s groups on the borders. If it is just a small group of women knowing the situation then it will not work. We all have to be involved so that when we go to the table, we all have negotiation and give-and-take skills. In the Karen community many question why women’s groups are only working for women. They said they already include women’s affairs and issues in the existing organisations, so they question why do we have to work on our own, separately. So we have to face these kinds of questions and misunderstandings. But we are trying our best to explain that women need their own skills so that they will be able to stand on their own feet at the meetings and discussions. Because of these meetings and discussions, we discussed these issues frankly and openly and there is greater understanding now. Before, there were a lot of democratic and ethnic groups working alone. There wasn’t much co-ordination between these groups. In fact I think there were too many organisations. One of the things that the NRP has been able to do is to provide a focal point for all the different ethnic groups, whether they are students, ethnic groups. They have been able to meet up and discuss. If we want some changes, they will not happen overnight. We have to work with the leaders, they are in their 50s and we are only in our 30s, so the experiences are quite different, which I happily accept. Since ethnic groups are smaller or minority groups, they need to defend themselves from the bigger groups. Oppression has happened, and we cannot say for sure that these things will not happen again. So we need to protect ourselves from such actions. For example, if we live in a suburb, we are definitely going to fence around our home, even though we would want to protect our whole suburb from burning down or be claimed from others, but we will definitely protect our own space and home. It is for all the ethnic groups to protect themselves and their own identities, but at the same time they have to be aware and careful that they do not insult or infringe upon other people’s rights. I believe that frankness, openness and honesty are the most important. If you keep things to yourself, you cannot solve any problems. You have to be open and honest, but at the same time you have to be patient. If people know what you want then they are likely to help you, otherwise they cannot. So you have to be open and honest. Even as we work for genuine reconciliation it is very obvious that there have been a lot of problems, but through negotiations and discussions we will be able to come up with some solutions. We have to work really hard and be very patient since we are working for justice, and the people who work for justice will always prevail and be victorious. This will happen. The Thai-Burmese border, 2002

Naw Khine Mar Kyaw Zaw is author of No Fallen River, No Fallen Tree. Ma Ma Pyone was a researcher at a Bangkok-based NGO and now resides in Australia. 177

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